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SEPTEMBER 10, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Parenting Pearls
Making Yom Kippur Meaningful By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
M
y husband, dressed in his kittel, machzor in hand, walks off to shul. He will have the momentum of the kehilla and the traditional, soulful tunes to guide him through the full-day tefillos on Yom Kippur. All things going well, many of us will spend the day taking care of little ones at home or at the park while trying to get a tiny portion of the davening said in-between kids crying, needing our attention or otherwise keeping us busy. We should take a few moments to thank Hashem for the little ones taking our time away from davening, but we also may feel challenged trying to feel the seriousness of the day while balancing our children’s needs.
Beat the Yom Kippur Rush One of my favorite Elul ideas is “do teshuva now and beat the Yom Kippur rush.” It’s excellent advice. You are unlikely to get the opportunity to focus on teshuva the way you’d like to if you have kids running around your legs and jumping on your back. Try to take a few minutes for quiet introspection beforehand and don’t wait until Yom Kippur is here and you’re distracted. There is no down-
side to this method that I can think of. Worse case scenario, if you do find some quiet time on Yom Kippur, you can still do a little more teshuva or introspection; you’re unlikely to exceed a maximum quota. There are excellent pamphlets on Viduy that many will find helpful to review before Yom Kippur and help them get focused appropriately. They’re also wonderful to use on the day itself to make whatever time you get to daven that much more meaningful.
Fast First I’ve always been taught that fasting is more important than davening. Be honest with yourself about what you can do and what your limits are that won’t risk your fast. Conserve your energy throughout the day by making everything as easy as possible. Rest whenever you can even if it just means feet up on the couch while the kids play next to you. It goes without saying that pregnant and nursing mothers should speak to their doctor and rav well in advance of the fast if they have any questions about their ability to fast safely. This actually applies to anyone with any type of medical concerns.
You are not being smart if you risk your safety, and getting information early gives you the opportunity to make any necessary arrangements. Also, begin drinking extra water starting days before the fast. Many people wait until Erev Yom Kippur to begin upping their hydration and that’s often too late. Certain fruits and other foods are good for fasting. I’ve heard rumors about grapes and watermelon being good for before a fast but that’s hearsay; ask a professional what you can do to prepare your body prior to the big day. I personally feel that certain foods were better for me before a fast but I’m neither a doctor nor a nutritionist and this is beyond my official expertise.
Prepare Early You want to make things as easy as possible for yourself while you’re fasting. Try to plan what you can do before to make things easier on the day itself. Clothes can be set out ahead of the fast. Don’t forget underwear, tzitzis and yarmulkes (for boys), socks and shoes. For some reason, those items in particular are never around when you need them. Machzorim, adult and children’s books about Yom Kippur and any sim-
ilar items can be found and set aside in advance, as well. As a side point, I have often set out on the table, on the night before, books appropriate for the day. This allows the children to come down first thing in the morning, begin to read and get tuned into the holiness of the day. Many people, like myself, will find that there are relevant books on the meaning or themes of the day that help them get into “Yom Kippur mode.” Find them in your house, purchase or borrow from a friend whatever items you feel will give you a way to tune yourself into the holiness of the day despite whatever insanity surrounds you. Know where they are because you are unlikely to have the time and peace of mind to search for them while you’re fasting. Prepare what you can for the kids beforehand. Sandwiches can be premade, and snacks can often be prepacked. There’s no reason for you to exert yourself extra on Yom Kippur itself when you can have it done prior. You can even have everything labeled, which will allow kids to serve themselves so you can take a few extra minutes to rest or just conserve your energy. I’ve often found that having easy, self-service meals and
