2 minute read
wald Esq., CLC, SDS
Life C ach
I Am Not a Chicken
By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC
What does the term “I am so done” really mean?!
Well, if it were said by a talking chicken, for instance, it would probably mean perfectly ready to eat.
But, if it was said by the parent of a teen, it usually means frustrated as anything because everything I try just doesn’t work.
Probably, alternatively, it’s really a good time to say: I am so interested to hear about what would work better.
After all, that’s what “I am so done” truly means most of the time. I’m lost. I’m not getting through to someone the way I want to.
Well, only a talking chicken should truly say that kind of defeatist statement. Because chickens can’t change. But humans can!
Yes, parenting is not easy. Especially, when you encounter that truly transformed character called an adolescent.
And marriage is often quite challenging. Especially because everyone thinks it shouldn’t be!
Adolescents and spouses have
something in common. They shock the people who thought they knew them. And that is where the work starts; a big part of which is trying to understand who the other person really is and learning to respect their needs.
Here’s some Torah-based wisdom that helps, too. Men need to know their job is to want to make their wives happy. Women need to know they need to respect their mate.
Parents need to know their adolescents may one day appreciate them but they can’t be obsessed with this because it’s a bonus not a requirement of these years. These kids are more absorbed in figuring out who they want to be. And role modeling for them, and supporting them through their struggles by respecting that they are struggling, are good tools for parents to use to get them there.
We should not to be cemented in
our ways like an overstuffed chicken. We have the capacity to create movement. So, let’s look again to some more helpful Torah wisdom, which certainly assures us that we can learn to do things differently!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
