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MAY 27, 2021 | The Jewish Home
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Honoring and Remembering TJH Speaks with Chaplain Ephraim Travis BY SUSAN SCHWAMM
Chaplain Travis, I know you served in the military for a few years as a chaplain. Before we start, can you give us a bit about your background? The truth is, I’d rather not talk about myself or my service for Memorial Day, because Memorial Day really is about honoring our fallen heroes who’ve paid the ultimate sacrifice. It’s a somber, meaningful day to really pay homage to those who pay the ultimate sacrifice so that we can live the life that we do. A few years ago, in 2015, I was invited to speak to a school on the day after Memorial Day. My message really was that most people, especially, frankly, in the frum world, don’t really pay much attention to Memorial Day. It’s interesting to contrast how, I think, in many ways, the Jewish community here in the United States pays more attention to Yom HaZikaron for the IDF’s fallen soldiers than they do for American troops. I agree but perhaps that’s because they don’t know so many fallen U.S. soldiers. That is true. But I can tell you that unfortunately in the global War on Terror, we’ve had close to 60 Jewish fallen. These are people from all walks of life, from various spectrums of Yiddishkeit, who paid the ultimate sacrifice so we can live our lives the way we do. I can give you names. I can tell you a little bit of their stories. I would love to hear more about them. Before you proceed though, can we talk about what it was like being a chaplain in the military?
Sure. On a personal level, what resonates with me when it comes to Memorial Day was, as a chaplain, one of my responsibilities was to be the escort officer for the next of kin notifications. Those assignments certainly remain the single most honorable thing that I’ve ever done in uniform, and something that I’ll never forget. But as honorable as they were, it was also the hardest thing to do. As an oncall duty chaplain, I had a duty phone. My responsibility was to act and engage and react whenever that phone rung. And whether it was for any kind of emergency on-base where a soldier needed to speak to me, or a family member, or in cases of next of kin notifications. When I got a call, I had to scramble as quickly as possible, change into my dress blues, go to the casualty assistant’s office, and contact the next on-call duty chaplain. And then sometimes it was a very slow drive to a soldier’s family. And there’s nothing that can prepare a person. There’s nothing that could have prepared me for the tidal wave of anger and grief from parents, a spouse, wife, husband, children, siblings – for just that maelstrom of emotions. For example, I mean, nothing could have possibly prepared me to have gotten spit in the face, slapped by a grieving mother who just lost her son. There’s nothing that could have possibly obviated me when she told me that I disgusted her because, as a representative of a G-d, I should be ashamed of myself that that G-d has taken her son away. There’s no PowerPoint slide that could have possibly taught me how I’m supposed to somehow set aside and stash my own emotions, recognizing the terrible torment, the anguish of this poor mother. And that I’m supposed
to stand firm and comfort her, or just pretend to be stoic as she just goes through the five steps of grief. It’s these kind of things, admittedly, that I actually get really frustrated about within the collective of the frum community, who don’t pay much attention. I am disappointed about the apathy shown towards our brothers and sisters in uniform. Again, some who I would actually call kedoshim. I would like to see more than just a small percentage of us who are veterans, who know veterans, love veterans, or lost veterans commemorate Memorial Day. I want people to understand what the day is really about and to really spend some time in reflection. I’m not suggesting that people shouldn’t go and have a barbecue and shouldn’t enjoy the day. But at least spend a few moments in quiet reflection. And I’ll go one step further. Even spend a few minutes maybe even saying a kapitel Tehillim or even being misbodeid, if you will, to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that we live in a Medina Shel Chesed, bought and paid for by our brothers and sisters in uniform who paid the ultimate sacrifice. You know, several years ago, the organization Kosher Troops sought to work in conjunction with many of the shuls in the New York, New Jersey area because Shavuot and Memorial Day coincided. They sent flyers with the various names of Jewish fallen, just from the global War on Terror, and asked shuls to set aside just 30 seconds during Yizkor to remember those troops. Unfortunately, it was not well received at all. I’m blessed that my parents are still very much alive and well. All my siblings are alive. And yet, as a chaplain, as a veteran, I received permission
