AUGUST 27, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
Centerfold
Going Postal
I’ve never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.- Sebastian Maniscalco
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence...sort of like the Post Office with tanks.- Emo Philips
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for [the holidays].- Johnny Carson Let’s turn inflation over to the Post Office. That’ll slow it down. -Mo Udall
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? -Steven Wright
At the bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest. -Bill Vaughan
The post office is raising the price of stamps again. I heard that and said to myself, “If only there was
an inexpensive electronic way of communicating.”- David Letterman
The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked “Fragile,” they throw it underhand. -Milton Berle
Under Lenin, the Soviet Union was like a religious revival; under Stalin, like a prison; under Khrushchev, like a circus; and under Brezhnev, like the U.S. Post Office. -Jimmy Carter
From the outside, the CIA seems pretty exotic, but from the inside, it’s a big bureaucratic place. Think “post office with spies.” -Barry Eisler
The Post Office says they’re raising the price of stamps by one cent because they need to upgrade their equipment. Apparently, they’re going from semiauDovidatics to uzis. -Conan O’Brien
I love how the postal system has this financial emotional meltdown every three to five years that their business model from 1630 isn’t working anymore. I can’t understand how a 21st century information system based on licking, walking, and a random number of pennies is struggling to compete. – Jerry Seinfeld
Riddle me this? Dovid wants to send Shira an expensive ring through the mail. The only problem is that everything sent through the mail is stolen unless there is a lock put on it. Both Dovid and Shira have plenty of locks and keys but they don’t have any of the same locks or keys. How can Dovid send Shira the ring without it getting stolen?
See answer below Answer to Riddle: Dovid puts one of his locks on the box with the ring in it. When Shira gets it, she puts one of her own locks on the box and sends it back to Dovid. Finally, Dovid takes his lock off of the box and sends it back to Shira who can then unlock her own lock and retrieve the ring.
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