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AUGUST 27, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
Although I am happily married baruch Hashem, over the course of a few years, I have had many gripes with the shidduch system. I see many of my single friends from high school struggle to get married. These are beautiful, smart, fantastic young women. I do not understand why they are still single. Then I see the “mean girls” from my grade. The ones with all the money, yechus, the perfect families, and the connections all get married bright-eyed and bushytailed fresh out of seminary. These were girls whom I remember distinctly leaving me and my group of friends out of productions because we were not in their chevrah. One friend in particular who had a gorgeous voice was rejected from choir when the rest of the choir consisted of the same close-knit group of friends. These were the girls who got us in trouble for things we did not do and held a very holier-than-thou attitude. These were the girls who made fun of us that we did not get into the most sought-after seminaries. I cannot for the life of me figure out why my amazing friends are struggling so hard to find the right one when these mean girls had all the luck. Is this just how things were ordained? Or is there a flaw in our system which rewards quantity over quality? I would love the panel’s feedback on this. -Esther
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
