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AUGUST 27, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Life C ach
I’m Just Sayin’ By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC
S
omeone started my morning with a statement something like this: When you recognize the perpetual truth that life keeps changing, then life will become a lot easier for you! It seems they were saying that recognizing that it won’t stay the course makes dealing with the constant new challenges a little more
expected! This certainly seems soooo true. Here’s what they left out, though. When you realize the opposite truth about change – that people are not changing so quickly – that, too, will help your life get much better. Oftentimes, we want so much from others, by way of them impacting our lives through their change,
that we get stuck in a zone of frustration and disappointment. We are always saying to others, why don’t you just…exercise, diet, call them, say it differently, do it differently, do it my way, etc. – as if it’s so easy! However, when you say it to yourself, you’re like, are you kidding?! You think it’s so easy to diet, exercise, call them, say it differently, do it differently, do it their way? It’s hard to start a diet. Get into exercising. Control my outbursts. See
like, boom, I want it, I think it, I desire it, and voila, it’s done. It’s more like: effort and resistance, effort and self-talk, effort and I’m losing motivation, effort and I’m falling back, effort and I’m trying some more, some other way, SOME OTHER TIME! Advice: often easy to give to others, harder to follow when sent our way. Motivation: simple to have for others, harder to summon up for ourselves.
Dropping the “just” thinking when it comes to others may “just” be the best truth you can offer yourself.
the other side. See oneself as others do. Get organized. Be relaxed about disorganization. Show up on time. Show up late. Be chilled. Be intense. Whatever your challenge is, you realize how hard is to change it! And that’s even when you think you’re motivated. Yes, everything is always changing without our effort and input – that’s a truth. And, everyone is undergoing changes without their effort and input – that’s a truth. But, for us to actively change our anything, that takes effort and input. And we know that it isn’t easy and that it doesn’t just happen. It’s not
What you should do: painless to tell others, not always so clear when it comes to ourselves. “Just do this!” “Just say that!” “Just behave this way!” slides so glibly off our tongues. Can we just do it?! Therefore, dropping the “just” thinking when it comes to others may “just” be the best truth you can offer yourself. It’s just too unjust to think it’s easy for them, when it’s so tough for you. Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
