Health & Heels - Issue 1 by Jewish Link Marketing Solutions

November Issue

healthandheelsmagazine.com

“I’m on two diets now... I wasn’t getting nearly enough food on just one” NOT our clients! All you need is ONE... the Right ONE!

844-TANYA-DIET (826-9234)

STAFF Tanya Rosen Editor In Chief Basya Kovacs Managing Editor Moshe Kinderlehrer/The Jewish Link Media Group Publishing Consultant & Advisor Basya Kovacs Content Manager Yehuda Kovacs Rabbinic Advisor Adam Negnewitzky Layout & Design Rivky Bergstein Proofreader & Copy Editor

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THANKSGIVING VEGETABLE PL AT TER

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M Y WE IG H T LO S S S U R G E RY J O U R N EY

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REFLECTIONS

CONTACTS Website: www.healthandheelsmagazine.com | General Information: info@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Submissions: submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Letters To The Editor: editor@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Advertising: ads@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Address: 3817 13th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11218 | Phone: (844) Tanya-Diet

In this issue

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JUNEE FALL FASHION

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E MP OWE R E D PA R E N T I N G

LET T ER F RO M T HE EDITO R

CO NF ESSIO NS O F A NUT RIT IO NIST

LET ’ S G ET CO O KING

A SK T HE PHA RMACIST BY LU B A SU RMA N- HE S S

MO DEST LY YO U RS BY JEN SHA RB A NI

CO F F EE B REA K BY KA REN B EHFA R

64 66 67

MY MIRACLE BY B A SYA KOVACS

T HE MEA NING F U L MA RRIAG E MA NUA L BY DEB B IE SELENG UT

L A ST LICKS BY MAYA KA RA SA NT I

p59 EL ANA MIZRAHI

healthandheelsmagazine.com

Karen Behfar

Lisa Buono

meet the

Estee Cohen

Rachel Essess

Blimie Heller

Luba Surman-Hess

Yael Ishakis

Malka Ismach

Writers

Maya Karasanti

Basya Kovacs

Sunny Levy

Aliza Polstein

Tanya Rosen

Jen Sharbani

Devora Soroka

Lisa Stein

Tirza Suissa

November Issue

Amy Lefcoe

Debbie Selengut

Tanya Rosen Dear readers,

healthandheelsmagazine.com

letter from the editor

Tanya Rosen is the founder and owner of Nutrition by Tanya, with 12 locations throughout New York, New Jersey and Israel.

Welcome to the first edition of Health & Heels! I hope you are as excited as we are about this. Let’s start by talking about my love for salad. No, don’t worry, this isn’t gonna be diet talk. I’m talking about the concept of a salad. You’re not committing to a specific food or even texture; you just have a mix of everything you like and you can change up the flavors and colors and anything else you want. This magazine is a “salad” if you will. Our goal is to bring you anything and everything health related. Because health isn’t just the generic “eat right and exercise” but rather a “salad” of everything else too—emotional, mental, spiritual, financial and more—we bring you articles and features on all these!

Tanya is also the creator of the TAP (Tanya Approved Products) food line sold in all major supermarkets throughout the U.S., including pastries, meals, kugels and more, all healthy of course.

In these pages you will find articles relating to anything and everything a Jewish woman wants to read about and learn more about, all written by women across the globe and across the board in terms of specialities, stages in life, and in Judaism. You will also find a photo along with each column so you can put a face to the name, since our goal is to give Jewish women a voice and a face. A special mention to Basya Kovacs who dreamed up this project and patiently waited until I was finally on board. Also a special thank you to the entire team who jumped on board despite being so busy with everything else. Ladies, we would love to hear from you! For submissions please contact us at submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com. For general questions, suggestions, topic ideas and anything else reach out to us at info@healthandheelsmagazine.com. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Tanya can be reached by emailing tanya@healthandheelsmagazine.com. To follow her daily health tips on WhatsApp, send her a message at 917-913-1523.

Tanya is the author of Cooking With Tanya and Gluten-Free Cooking With Tanya, both presenting healthy and gourmet yet easy recipes. Aside from nutrition and fitness, Tanya has always loved writing and is proud to represent Jewish women after choosing to become observant at the age of 19.

letters to the editor

inbox F ROM O UR

ORTHODOX AND EMPOWERED Dear Health & Heels,

I just wanted to thank you for this verymuch needed magazine. At a time when Orthodox women are being painted in a negative light, this is a huge opportunity to combat the negative press and make a kiddush Hashem. I also wanted to thank you for the video you posted in response to Unorthodox. It was so beautiful to see an empowered woman, who chose a frum lifestyle, telling the true story of what it means to be a frum woman. I know our community isn’t without issues; which community is? But the misinformation about frum women being oppressed and living in the dark ages is so false, and the fact that it is circulating out there demands a rebuttal. May this magazine be a step toward accomplishing that! And while the hype and shock of the Unorthodox series has mostly died down (of course it did; it had so little substance and was based on lies and falsehood), the opportunity to portray the beauty and empowerment of frum women should not be missed. Best of luck on your beautiful mission! Signed, A Frum and Inspired Mom, Wife, Business Owner

LONG OVERDUE Dear Editor, I just want to thank you for launching this magazine. It seems to fill a great need I believe is long overdue! Maybe it’s because it’s not easy combining health, fashion and inspiration under one roof. I really hope you’re successful in doing that. Count me in! Signed, One of Your Most Excited Fans

INSPIRING OUR DAUGHTER’ S - AND OURSELVES Dear Health & Heels, Thank you so much for doing this! I have a 10-year-old daughter and it is so important for her to have frum female role models showing her that she can achieve anything she wants and still keep her values as a bas Yisrael. Wishing you loads of hatzlachah!

November Issue

Signed, A Mom Who Cares

We love to hear from our readers! To submit a letter to the editor, please reach out to us at editor@healthandheelsmagazine.com.

Confessions of a Nutritionist Think your nutritionist’s eating habits are perfect? Of course they are! Except when they aren’t. Here’s the real truth about what sometimes goes on behind the scenes with the Nutrition by Tanya staff.

BY THE NUTRI TION BY TANYA STAFF (OR THOSE WHO WERE WILLING TO CONFESS!)

Jenny

Ice cream. That’s my vice and I am proud of it!

Chana

I always order a margarita.

Ahuva

Juicy latenight sandwiches are my thing.

Tanya

I like eating with my hands.

Chavy

Mozzarella sticks— enough said ;) (And by the way, Tanya totally agreed with me on this one.)

healthandheelsmagazine.com

healthy bodies

H EALTHY BO DI ES

healthy bodies

November Issue

Give Thanks without Gaining Weight

Thanksgiving is around the corner. Follow these carefully curated tips for a healthy and enjoyable Thanksgiving season.

Thanksgiving DOs & DON’Ts. The calorie control council has estimated that the average American could consume as many as 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving day! Here are some tips to ensure that won’t be you!

DO: Eat breakfast and all your meals and snacks as usual. Don’t be tempted to “save” calories. DO: Drink a lot of water throughout the day to fill you up and eliminate fake hunger. Try drinking two cups of water right before the meal. DO: Find out the menu ahead of time if you’re a guest. This will help mentally prepare you and help you decide what to eat before you start smelling everything and making bad decisions in the moment. DO: Wear something tight, even a belt. This will be a physical reminder/barrier to overeating. DO: Offer to bring a salad or a healthy dish. Make sure to place this next to you as you’ll see that everyone will want some. DO: Eat the white meat only, not dark. DO: Start with salad or vegetables. Fill up at least half your plate with these. DO: Cheat smartly. If you’re going to cheat, do so in the right way. Have one portion of one tempting item. Have this sitting down and enjoy it slowly.

DON’T: Have stuffing. Substitute with Melba Toast or rice instead. Half a cup of stuffing typically has 195 calories! DON’T: Have cranberry sauce from a jar. Make your own instead. ¼ cup cranberry sauce from a jar can have up to 150 calories and 17 grams of sugar! DON’T: Have pumpkin pie or mashed potatoes, which usually have margarine and other additives. Have butternut squash or a small sweet potato instead. DON’T: Have apple pie. Instead, have a baked apple with some oats on top or just add cinnamon.

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Leftover Turkey?

No Problem!

Turkey is an excellent source of protein and well… it’s DELICIOUS! Those Thanksgiving turkey leftovers most certainly have a place… in our stomachs! GET CREATIVE WITH SOME DISHES THAT INCORPORATE THOSE LEF TOVERS . • • • •

Grab your favorite veggies and leftover turkey and wrap it in some cabbage leaves for a healthy wrap. Slice up some leftover turkey and toss it onto a salad. Whip up some vegetable soup with broth and throw in some turkey cubes. Layer a leaf of lettuce, a large slice of tomato and some onion on top of a thick turkey slice. Poke in some toothpicks through the layers and cut up into finger food.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR TURKEY MOIST • • • • • •

November Issue

•

Choose fresh over frozen; fresh will always come out tastier and juicier. Keep the skin on during cooking to maintain the moisture (remove before eating). Brine your turkey (you can search methods on Google). Cook the stuffing separately. Avoid stuffing the cavity of the turkey as it will take the turkey longer to cook, which results in drier meat. A thermometer is your friend and will help you make sure the turkey is fully cooked without overcooking it. Let the turkey rest for 20 minutes before carving to allow the juices to redistribute throughout the turkey after cooking. Skip the basting to avoid opening and closing the oven so that the temperature fluctuations don’t dry out the turkey.

photo from lilluna.com | edited by JewishLink Marketing

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healthy bodies

Thanksgiving Vegetable Platter

It’s easy to get lost at the Thanksgiving dinner table with so many food options, but a vegetable platter is a great way to fill up on healthy choices and stay focused on your goals. It’s colorful, appealing to the eye, can include a huge variety of vegetables and you can put several types of dressing on the side as well... including, of course, the healthier versions. Some vegetables can include: Cherry and grape tomatoes, baby carrots, celery sticks, broccoli, cauliflower, sugar snap peas, string beans, zucchini sticks, peppers, sliced cucumber, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, kohlrabi, beets, mushrooms, fennel, baby artichokes and more. So many options!

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Sweet Potato Pie DID YOU KNOW THAT A SINGLE SLICE CAN CONTAIN OVER: • • • •

300 calories 20g of fat 20g of sugar 50g of carbohydrates

Avoid the store-bought pies and make sure to select the healthier recipes that omit sugar, crusts and other unnecessary ingredients. You won’t believe how delicious HEALTHY tastes.

MYTH FACT November Issue

Skinless Turkey Has Less Calories and Fat

It does have less calories and fat; however, not by that much. While the skin is the highest in calories and fat, the calories you save by removing it before baking are not significant enough to do so. It’s more of a moisture catcher—so just keep the skin on so your turkey maintains juiciness, and be sure to remove the skin off your portion before eating.

The Trainer’s Take by Tanya Rosen

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FEEL TIRED ALL THE TIME? TRY EXERCISING!

FIND WORKOUTS THAT MAKE YOU WORK.

This might sound like an oxymoron, because the last thing you feel like doing when you’re tired is exercising. However, exercise releases endorphins that leave you feeling a lot happier, less tired and a lot more energized! Getting in just a half hour of exercise could increase your focus and health as well as lower depression levels. Get off your chair and benefit your mind and body simultaneously!

Don’t be lazy! If you want to see results you gotta put in the work! Step out of your comfort zone and do something spontaneously challenging. You’ll feel amazing when you’re done!

START BY DOING ANYTHING . FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE AND GO FOR IT. Don’t get hung up on the details. You’ll get stuck before you even start. Getting in shape shouldn’t be a burden. Especially because one of the main goals of exercise is feeling good! Choose something that gets you excited, and start with it. It’s okay to start out with something easy as long as you are enjoying it!

CHANGE YOUR MOOD AND YOUR LIFE , NOT JUST YOU R BODY. Misconception: Looking better on the outside is the best part about getting in shape. NOT TRUE!! Although looking better is an obvious benefit, the most satisfying part is the mood and energy changes you feel right after. Being in shape is beneficial for all areas of your life— physical, emotional and psychological.

“If it doesn’t challenge it’s not going to change you.”

SET SMALL , AT TAINABLE GOALS YOU CAN REACH ALONG THE WAY, BUT HAVE ONE GOAL THAT KIND OF TERRIFIES YOU. Baby steps are the key to success. But long-term goals are what keep us going! Have a goal that almost scares you at the thought of reaching! The higher standards we have for ourselves, the more we accomplish.

BE POSITIVE ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS! Look at how far you’ve come rather than how much farther you have to go. Be proud of yourself! Staying positive is one of the keys to keeping yourself on track!

TIME FOR…TAP FINDS! What is a TAP Find? TAP finds are Tanya Approved Products—products you can buy in the supermarket that are healthy, good alternatives to something similar but less healthy, or portion-controlled treats.

“You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.”

November Issue

SWITCH IT UP.

Our minds and bodies get accustomed to our surroundings and patterns, so when we do the same exercise over and over, our muscles adapt to it to make it easier. This means our bodies won’t develop as much with the same training over time. Routine can also get boring, so switch things up to keep it interesting and more challenging!

Tanya Rosen is the founder and owner of Nutrition by Tanya, with 12 locations throughout New York, New Jersey and Israel. Tanya is also the creator of the TAP (Tanyaapproved products) food line sold in all major supermarkets throughout the U.S., which includes pastries, meals, kugels and more, all healthy, of course. In addition, Tanya has published two cookbooks, multiple workout DVDs, and is a regular columnist for many popular Jewish magazines. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and five children.

It’s TAP Finds Time! O H SNAP PICKLING CO.

OH SNAP!

not your ordinary snacks.

Okay now, how cool is this find!? Great for on-the-go snacking, on-the-road snacking...or just-aboutanywhere snacking! These crunchy, pickled veggies have no brine added, they’re also fat-free, gluten-free and most are zero calories per serving! Most count as free on our plan or free in moderation! Can be purchased at Walmart or Target.

Yes, they’re crunchy, delicious, and healthy—everything you love about pickles, carrots, green beans, snap peas, and jalapeños. However, OH SNAP! refrigerated, individually wrapped dill pickles and veggies have no added brine, so there’s less mess. Plus, they are singleserve so you can enjoy them with a meal or as a refreshing snack on the road, in a school lunch, or... right now!

Dilly Bites

0 calories

Hottie Bites Pickle Snacking Cuts

0 calories

Cool Beans

10 calories

Dilly Bites, Fresh Dill Pickle

0 calories

Pickled Carrot Sticks

15 calories

Hottie Bites

0 calories

Hottie Bites, Pickle Snacking Cut, Hot N' Spicy

0 calories

Gone Dilly

0 calories

No brine added

Constantly fresh

Eight varieties

Fat-free and gluten-free

healthandheelsmagazine.com

Enjoy your TAP!

Tanya TAMI’S TREATS Kosher Pareve. All Natural. Gluten & Dairy Free. No Artiﬁcial Flavors or Dyes. No Preservatives.

NUT CLUSTER

CHOCOLATE BOMB

NUTTY SQUARE

Single serve = crazy convenience

Refrigerated for super crispness DATE-NUT TRUFFLE TAMI’S SIGNATURE TREAT

Perfectly seasoned and great tasting

Made with nonGMO cucumbers, carrots, green beans, snap peas, and jalapeños

ALMOND-DATE BAR

TAMI MARKOVICS 347. 69 3. 0 636

TAMISTREATSNY@ GMAIL. COM TAMISTREATSNY WWW. TAM ISTREATSNY. COM

PEANUT BUTTER CUP

healthy bodies

A Bite of Balance

November Issue

by Basya Kovacs

Dear Basya,

Dear Frustrated, I hear your frustration about trying so hard and not getting anywhere. Let’s break down the year a bit and see if we can troubleshoot the issue.

I am 33 years old and have five children. I would like to lose the weight that crept up on me over the course of the past ten years. I have been on the plan since the summer and I am quite frustrated. I am having trouble losing weight at a steady pace, despite being perfectly on plan whenever possible. In the past 3½ months I have only lost 8-10 lbs.! I do have a lot of simchahs this season as well as community functions and parties but I always eat well at these events. Why can’t I lose weight?

There are 365 days a year. Of those days, many of them are what we consider maintenance days—meaning, it would be very difficult to lose weight those days, so at the very least, do your best not to gain weight. Those days include: Friday and Shabbos: 104 days Erev Yom Tov and Yom Tov, including: • Pesach: 8-10 days • Sukkos: 8-10 days • Chanukah: 8-10 days • Rosh Hashanah: 2-3 days • Purim: 2-3 days • Shavuos: 2-3 days • Vacation and travel: 10-15 days • Simchahs and birthdays parties, vach nachts, upsherins, etc.: 25 days (2x per month on average) • Restaurant meals/meals prepared outside your control: 25 days (2x per month on average) It's also important to realize that unless a restaurant is specially prepared for your diet, the portion sizes will generally be larger and the preparation methods will result in higher calories, even if your choices are on track. This means that there are a total of almost 210 days a year that are not losing days! Which means there are only about 155 actual losing days per year—an average of less than three days a week!

Signed, Frustrated

The key here is patience! It is so common to get frustrated by the slower-than-expected pace and quit. But if you stick to it and accept that life throws us many, many challenges, you will reach your goal! Just hang in there—because quitting often means gaining the weight back, at which point you will probably have to start this whole process again, but the same challenges will keep coming back!

Swap Small, Save Big

Hopefully this will give you a more realistic perspective.

Basya

Best,

Eye on Melaveh Malkah INSTE AD OF

CALORI ES

SWAP I F FOR

CA LORIES

S AVING S

Whole wheat bagel

300

Whole wheat english muffin

120

180

Cream cheese (2 tablespoons)

120

Reduced-fat cream cheese (2 tablespoons)

8 Oz. Cup of orange juice

120

Bottle of vitamin water zero

110

Total

540

Total

200

340 Cal

Basya Kovacs is one of Nutrition by Tanya’s beloved nutrition counselors. Having lost over 30 lbs. and keeping it off for ten years, Basya shares her balanced, practical approach to health and weight loss. To have your health and weight loss questions answered, please email us at info@healthandheelsmagazine.com.

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Weight Loss News You May Have Missed by Basya Kovacs

November Issue

Warning:

Side effects may include weight loss! Just a couple of months ago the FDA approved a drug to help weight loss among overweight or obese adults. The drug, Wegovy (semaglutide), “induces weight loss by reducing hunger, increasing feelings of fullness, and thereby helping people eat less and reduce their calorie intake,” according to a company statement.

Wegovy is the first new medication approved for weight loss since 2014 and this one is a game changer, promising up to 15% weight loss, with some patients getting more than 20% after taking the drug for about a year.

While a healthy and portion-controlled diet is always the recommended way to lose weight, this new drug may help people who have been struggling with appetite and finding it difficult to keep their portion sizes in check. Of course, like all weight loss drugs, side effects are likely to be more than just weight loss—so please discuss this with your doctor.

Basya Kovacs is passionate about all things health and weight loss. She is a nutrition counselor and manager at Nutrition by Tanya as well as the managing editor of Health & Heels Magazine. She is also a product developer and is the wholesale and product director for the TAP food line. She writes for several magazines and newspapers, and in the past several years her entertaining and informative lectures and workshops have become very popular. When she is not flying off to Miami she lives with her husband and five children in Clifton, New Jersey. For questions or for speaking engagements, please contact her at 347-938-9113.

healthandheelsmagazine.com

Several experts said that this drug has the potential to seriously change care of patients when it comes to weight loss. Wegovy is the first new medication approved for weight loss since 2014 and this one is a game changer, promising up to 15% weight loss, with some patients getting more than 20% after taking the drug for about a year.

healthy bodies

November Issue

Let’s Get Cooking!

As the saying goes, families that eat together stay together. But sometimes we get stuck trying to find recipes that are both delicious and nutritious. This recipe section will present recipes that are easy to make, healthy and designed to please even your pickiest eaters. So let’s get cooking!

Overnight Oats

Oats are a wonderful source of fiber and have antioxidants as well as protein. Oats may lower cholesterol, help relieve constipation, and may improve your blood sugar level control. PLUS, oats are super filling, so they’re great to have when you’re trying to stave off hunger for a longer time. This recipe is a no-cook preparation of oatmeal that is made by marinating the oats in milk and warm cinnamon spice. Topped with fresh or dry fruit, this makes for a hearty breakfast or healthy on-thego snack.

INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

• • • • •

• • •

2 cups old-fashioned oats 2 cups unsweetened almond milk 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract Pinch of salt 2 tablespoons sugar-free maple syrup or your choice of sweetener 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 2 tablespoons chopped almonds (optional)

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • •

Mixing bowl Jar or container

YIELD: 4 Servings

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COUNT AS: Breakfast

2. 3.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Pour into a jar or small individual containers and refrigerate overnight. Top with fresh fruits right before serving.

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Banana Oat Muffins Did you know that bananas may help with constipation, heartburn and stomach ulcers? They’re also a great source of energy as well as vitamins C and B6, potassium and manganese.

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • • • •

Mixing bowls Loaf pan Spatula Cooling rack

DRY INGREDIENTS • • • • • •

1 ¾ cups whole oat flour 1 cup rolled oats 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon ¼ teaspoon salt

WET INGREDIENTS • • • • •

3 ripe bananas, mashed ¼ cup coconut oil ⅓ cup sugar 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS 1.

YIELD: 12-14 Servings

COUNT AS: 1 Snack

November Issue

In a bowl, mix the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients. Gently fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. Line a loaf pan with parchment paper. Pour the batter into loaf pan. Bake at 350°F for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. Cool on a cooling rack for 1 hour before serving.

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Available for Download

Makes the perfect Chanukah gift!

healthy bodies

A NARROW PATH

My Weight Loss Surgery Journey by Leeba Wein

November Issue

The night I decide to go ahead with surgery I am at my in-laws’. It has been a beautiful Shabbos and melaveh malkah is underway. I am on a “dieting break,” which is a term that may seem to suggest that I am conscious of what I’m eating while still allowing myself some leeway, but it is just an excuse to gorge myself on whatever I see, which is exactly what I had done all weekend, and the week preceding that weekend.

It is my husband who had opened my mind to the idea of surgery, one I had always been dead set against. I am not one of “those people.” I don’t need to go under the knife to turn my life around. I am a mature, responsible adult, wife and mother of two little kids while holding down a full-time job, who has the intelligence and capabilities of sticking to a diet plan, eating healthily and sticking to portion control. I just know it is only a matter of time and I will finally do what it takes. Yet I don’t. And with the cycle of eating and dieting and failing once again comes a bitter sense of self-loathing, one that makes me promise that I will never touch another morsel of cake or kugel. And my husband, who has watched me struggle for the four years he’s known me, watched how every failed attempt at weight loss sends me into a spiral of poor selfesteem, how a (to him) small problem keeps on casting a shadow over so many aspects in my daily life, suggests I look into surgery. His friends have done it. So many people

we know have done it. This could be the solution to get me where I want to get. I balk at the idea. I will kick this habit and I will do it myself. I will not admit to failure. Secretly, though, I am enticed. I am certain I am not going to go ahead with it, yet I am interested enough to do some research. I log onto an online community forum and anonymously request information from other women who have been through the journey. I read the responses as they come in, and I’m not sure if I would prefer that they be persuasive or the opposite. Some comments

has changed, and I am about to make that change. I realize what I knew all along. I cannot live my life to the fullest on this roller coaster. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember, a minimum of 15 years since childhood. I have tried every diet plan, every diet hack. I have tried rewarding myself and punishing myself. Yet nothing has changed. I take a long and hard honest look at myself. I have two options. I can either continue living in denial, continuing to ride the ups and downs of the journey I have always been on, always hoping

“I can do this myself” are negative. Most of them are extremely encouraging. Yet I am adamant, I do not need surgery. I can do this myself.

for a better tomorrow, or I can steer the ship in a different direction, allowing my journey to change course, hopefully dramatically.

Surreptitiously, without admitting it even to myself, I begin inquiring. When someone tells me they or their relative had the sleeve done, I ask for the doctor’s name and whether they are happy about their decision. I file this information in my mind, yet am determined not to actually use it. It is a few weeks later on a Motzaei Shabbos when the fateful decision is made. Nothing has changed, yet that is precisely what leads me to this moment. Nothing

I feel a thrill, an excitement at the prospect of finally getting to the destination I have been trying to reach for years now. And I feel shame. I am one of “those people.” I cannot control myself and need a surgeon to do it for me. Sunday morning, I am energized. I reach out to a couple of acquaintances who I know have gone through bariatric surgery. I choose carefully, as I am loath to admit to anyone I know personally that I am

considering surgery. Yet I connect with a friend of a friend and the wife of one of my husband's friends and I start my inquiries. I learn that the sleeve gastrectomy, my preferred option, is the best option. I get information about the best doctor, the procedure and its aftermath, and life after. Everyone I ask is extremely encouraging. Life has changed for them, and for the better. I bombard them with questions. I want to know everything. If I am going to do this, I want to do this right. I collect the information I need, and I sit down to evaluate my options. I choose to use the doctor I have heard about most, one who has performed the procedure on many women I either personally know or have heard about. Yet I cannot call him. I sit on this information for a week or so, thinking and rethinking and evaluating my options. My weight has been such a determining factor in my life. Every event, every day had centered around my weight at the time. My successes, my failures, my pregnancies and birth of my two beautiful girls, nothing had bypassed that aspect of my life. It is time to let go. I make the call.

Leeba Wein (a pen name) is a freelance writer living in New York. For inquiries, she can be reached at leebawein@gmail.com.

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Yet I always tell myself, and honestly believe, that Sunday is the day I will make it all go away. The constant cycle of dieting and losing and letting go and gaining will all come to an end this coming Sunday, when I start yet again.

healthy bodies

ASK THE PHARMACIST: WITH

Luba Surman -Hess

November Issue

Being friends with Luba for 25 years has many perks, but one of my favorites is never having to Google the name of any medication and hoping the info is accurate. Luba is a knowledgeable and experienced pharmacist with lots of experience in small and large pharmacies. As a woman herself and having dealt with many women over the years, Luba knows the real inside scoop on any meds and vitamins relating to women. In this ongoing column Luba will answer anything you want to know about meds without having to resort to Google and its dubious results. Send in your questions to Lsurman@gmail.com.

What over-the-counter medications (OTCs) for allergies are safe to use during pregnancy and breastfeeding?

You are pregnant or nursing a baby, you are tired, your back hurts, you might start crying at any moment... And now on top of everything you are dealing with allergies. Sneezing, runny and stuffy nose—those allergy symptoms are unbearable. But being pregnant or nursing puts a lot of restrictions on which overthe-counter medications you can use to treat allergies. It has been reported that 10 to 15 percent of women take an antihistamine to treat allergic symptoms. There is even a condition called pregnancy rhinitis (drip or runny nose) that may affect 20 percent of pregnant women and may present during the last six or more weeks of pregnancy without respiratory infection or allergic cause. The safest OTC options include saline nasal spray to decongest and loosen mucus, as well as nasal strips (e.g., Breath Right) to open up nasal passages. Antihistamines such as Doxylamine and Loratadine are considered a safe option during pregnancy to relieve sneezing and runny nose. For breastfeeding moms, according to LactMed (a peer-reviewed database part of the National Library of Medicines), second-generation antihistamines such as Claritin or Zyrtec are recommended over firstgeneration antihistamines such as Benadryl because the latter may decrease milk supply, especially before lactation is well established. Always check with your doctor or pharmacist before starting any new medication.

Luba Surman-Hess is a mom to two amazing children and a practicing pharmacist for 15 years. She is excited to be part of this incredible community and share her knowledge, empowering all women to take better care of themselves and their families.

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Get Out of ‘Me’ Way!

November Issue

by Aliza Polstein

Just today I got a phone call from one of my dearest childhood friends. I could barely believe it had been 16 years since we had last spoken. I always admired and—if I’m being completely honest— envied this friend.

She was born into a prominent rabbinical family whose illustrious lineage could be traced back many generations. She was smart and talented and it was clear from a young age that nothing would stand in her path toward greatness. Not me, though. I was born to people who had only recently discovered their Jewish faith. My lineage constitutes many generations of Jews ignorant of a Torah lifestyle. I was an average student without the benefit of having parents with a strongenough background to ever be able to help me with my limudei kodesh schoolwork. My parents were typical baalei teshuvah, learning the ropes as they went along, but some of the nuances that come from growing up frum were lost on us. I remember as a child telling my friends that I was going to “Agooda Midwest” for camp that summer. That’s how my parents pronounced “Agudah” and it was the source of tremendous comical entertainment to my sixth-grade friends. As a teenager I pushed the limits in different areas, and even within the confines of halachah I expressed myself more uniquely in my mode of dress than others around me. My entire framework of a frum lifestyle was based on the small community I grew up in, which provided me a very limited view. What I learned was: the stronger your Jewish background, the more successful you will be. Though I was socially popular and felt admired for my sense of style and talent for singing, in the things that “really mattered” I would never

measure up. And the thing was, I knew everyone else knew this too.

saw—and therefore blind to my own self worth, capabilities and strengths.

Moving to a new city, I was able to shed some of that insecurity, feeling I could reinvent myself and be whoever I want. But regardless of how successful or accomplished I would become in certain areas of my life, deep down I suffered from imposter syndrome, afraid of being discovered for who I really was, incapable and unfit. I had trained myself as a young girl to view myself only in reference to the people around me. I existed in relation to my friends and their capacity to succeed, their level of intelligence and their overall proficiency in existing in our frum “system.”

I have begun to crawl out of the hole that was conceived by my perception

In catching up with my friend and telling her about my life—my job and accomplishments—she responded with sentences like “I’m shocked!” and “how do you know how to do that?” Right then and there I realized how paralyzed I had been for so many years, shooting myself down with those same responses, shocked at my aspirations and questioning my own abilities. It dawned on me that I had been seeing myself through the eyes of others—or at least what I assumed they

of other people’s expectations for me. I am no longer the person binded by what others believed to be inaccessible to me based on my upbringing and background. I feel liberated by the knowledge that the only person keeping me from accomplishing my dreams is me. And I pray for the courage to get out of my own way.

Aliza Polstein is the program coordinator for Chicago Torah Network and has led trips to Israel, given weekly chaburos and maintained relationships with Jewish women from all backgrounds. Aliza is a role model to women throughout the community as they navigate their lives. She is very passionate about women’s learning and growth. Recently, she launched Soul Purpose, an organization created to give frum women opportunities for connection, mentorship and personal growth.

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healthy soul

Sunny Levi

healthy soul

Several months ago my mother invited me to Chicago to participate in a program she was organizing, called Soul Purpose. The program, an inspirational two-day seminar for women from frum backgrounds, boasted an impressive itinerary filled with workshops and lectures designed to allow us return to our everyday lives inspired and empowered. It all sounded amazing. Just not for me. I would love to say I was hesitant because I am incredibly busy with work and family, which I am. But if I am being honest, it’s actually that I have a very short attention span, and tend to be somewhat of a cynic when it comes to group inspiration. (Of course this is exactly why my mom invited me.) So I spent the next few weeks trying to politely decline.

tickets from Newark,” I told my mom, several days before the event. “I found one leaving from LaGuardia on Sunday morning,” she replied. “But they are ridiculously expensive,” I informed her. “Abba and I are happy to pay for it,” she countered almost before I said it.

November Issue

I totally saw that one coming. But I don’t want to, I whined (to myself). “But the kids, work,

“I checked, and there are really no

clients...life...” I continued feebly, knowing it was just a matter of time before I caved. One thing about my mother is that she is highly persistent. And so a few days later I resignedly packed an overnight bag and headed to Chicago for two days of “doing what I gotta do to make mom happy.” I rescheduled my clients, made arrangements for my children, and got on the plane, hoping the program wouldn’t be a waste of time. At least I’ll get to see my mom, I consoled myself. Well….let me just say...sometimes mothers really do know best. I was completely blown away by the event. The first thing that struck me was that everyone there was just like me: normal, down-to-earth women juggling families, work and other obligations. Each one had sacrificed to take a few days out of their busy schedules to focus on personal growth. The entire event surpassed all expectations (okay, not that difficult considering I had come with pretty much none), but the highlight of the program was the keynote lecturer named Sunny Levi. A little about Sunny: Aside from being a motivational speaker, Sunny Levi is a mother of six, a seventh-degree black-belt taekwondo master, personal trainer, and a yoga and self-defense instructor. Sunny was like no one I had ever met before. Low key and unassuming, with an understated sense of humor, Sunny captivated us all with the story of her personal journey of growth and connection with Hashem. She spoke several times over those two days, leaving us awed and empowered in a way that was completely unexpected. So when this magazine actually began taking shape, I knew I needed Sunny on board. And true to form, in her no-fuss, low-key way, Sunny agreed to share her story with our readers. And so, I present to you….

I’m also a seventh-degree black belt taekwondo master. And to put that into perspective, there are fewer than 10 female certified seventh-degree black belts in the country, and I am one of them. With all due humility, I’m proud to say, my name is inscribed on a wall somewhere at the revered “Kukkiwon,” the World Taekwondo Headquarters, in Seoul, Korea. I’ve won many medals and trophies at state, national and international martial arts competitions.

Once I got my driver’s license and could drive myself downtown to acting classes and auditions, I worked hard, got those coveted callbacks, and prevailed my way into commercials and films, becoming a card-carrying member of the Screen Actors Guild. I married a Harvard-grad Jew who spent time meditating in the ashrams of Southeast Asia, a classic Bu-Jew. Following our Orthodox Jewish wedding, we honeymooned for five months in Thailand, toured around

Two years ago we picked up and moved to Arizona. Now, one of my favorite pursuits is sharing my story in hopes of inspiring others to become their true selves. So how did this all come together? Well, to understand me better we need to put some things in context. Let’s go back in time to 1968 when my story began. To be continued…

I got involved in martial arts “by accident” when I was eight years old, and I immediately fell in love with it. It spoke to me. The discipline, the rigor, the certainty—I don’t know what exactly. But ever since then, for the past 35 years, I’ve been training, competing, teaching, preaching and coaching empowerment. Some of my other passions include eating green, clean, natural foods, hiking and yoga, giving birth at home and cracking up on the couch with my husband and six kids, and talking to G-d. Three of our kids are black belts, with the younger three poised to move up the ranks. My oldest daughter, Eden, wrote and published a book for teens on emunah, faith. I grew up in Chicago, the third of six kids, the oldest girl—we’re three and three—sandwiched between my youngest brother and my older one, who is blind with severe mental disabilities. Growing up, Hollywood and the Olympics were my lodestars.

Bangkok on a motorcycle, and two years later made aliyah to Israel. Fast forward to today, my husband Daniel, the son of a Reform rabbi, boasts three Rosh Hashanahs spent deep in prayer at the tomb of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov in Uman, Ukraine. Between adjusting to my brother’s disabilities, my dad’s illness and death, my autoimmune condition, and more, Emunah and hitbodedut have been pivotal in my life.

Sunny Levi is a mother of six, a seventhdegree black-belt taekwondo master, personal trainer, yoga and self-defense instructor, inspirational speaker, writer and teacher of personal prayer. In addition to teaching and coaching women and children both in person and online, Sunny also works as a martial arts therapist at Kids Kicking Cancer where she helps children with chronic illness overcome the fear and physical discomfort of their condition and treatment. Sunny is passionate about spreading emunah, eating clean, drinking green, hiking and talking to G-d. She and her family recently moved from Chicago to Scottsdale, Arizona. You can keep up with her on Instagram at @sunnyblackbelt or Facebook at Sunny Ariella Levi, or Sunny’s Martial Arts and Fitness.

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ome call me out-ofthe-box. Others call me an anomaly. I just call myself me, Sunny Levi. A mom. A wife. A G-d-loving Jew.

healthy soul

Reflections by Tirzah Suissa

The Torah answers a question that science does not: How shall we live?

hile science explains how the world came to be, Torah congruent with science goes beyond the creation of the physical. It has, in fact, to do with our moral and spiritual situation in the universe. Some may argue that Torah is a compilation of genealogies, prophecies and laws. However, it previously tells us the most fascinating stories of the relationship between G-d and His people, who were created in His image.

November Issue

This column will examine the life of female characters in Tanach. These women were perverse queens, prostitutes, prophetesses, rich, poor, married, single, widows, young and old. Far from being fictional characters, they are real women who fought tragedy, or perhaps were the cause of it. Women who risked their reputation for others, full of compassion and wisdom to overcome challenges. Their life stories can depict the similarities between their lives and ours, helping us understand and thereby enrich our relationship with G-d.

Succeeding the creation of Adam and Chava in Bereishit, the scenery to the story rapidly changes from paradise

to a fallen world. As the stories unravel, it exposes the nature of the biggest problems in the human race and the origin of our worst sufferings. Throughout Tanach we learn to recognize the battle that mankind has been grappling with: our search for our Creator, the search to fill a place in our existence that belongs to a relationship with the Almighty. Chava’s name means “mother of all life.” She was conceived in a world that was at complete peace with its Creator. She lived in Gan Eden with Adam and enjoyed all the pleasures of a pure life. She had not known shame, hurt, jealousy, bitterness or suffering. Ultimately, she was tempted by the serpent who persuaded her to eat the forbidden fruit that G-d strictly commanded them not to eat. Soon afterward, they heard Hashem’s voice and hid from embarrassment, fear and shame. From that moment, Chava was punished and the punishment centered on pregnancy and childbirth. The Talmud asserts that Chava was given 10 curses, seven of which are learned from Bereishit 3. It says, “And to the woman He said, ‘I will make most severe your pangs in

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childbearing; in pain shall you bear children. Yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’” Man and woman were banned from Gan Eden and were destined to live a life of arduous work until finally their bodies returned to dust. Chava was the first woman to conceive a child and the first to have a fertilized egg in her uterus. Despite the pain during labor, she recognized now that her life was indeed in Hashem’s hands: “Now the man knew his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have gained a male child with the help of the Lord.’” On this, Rashi adds that men and G-d were copartners in the creation of life. Throughout centuries, women had to bear the results of labor, the pain, confusion and disorder associated with the birth of a child. However, what arises from this experience is the magical connection between mother and a child, something that only the Creator of life could provide to mankind. I once heard from a mother at a hospital share: “I think I understand G-d better. I generated something that I love deeply but I can’t control. ”Perhaps we can take some time while davening to go to a quiet place, surrounded by the beauty of creation, and meditate on how life must have been in Gan Eden. Imagine how it could be to live life in peace with all your relationships, not ever feeling shame or confusion. Maybe we can thank Hashem for creating us capable of reflecting on love, truth, strength, goodness, wisdom and beauty. Thus, Torah answers the question that science does not: the Jewish understanding of G-d and humanity. We are G-d’s ezer kenegdo. As the rabbis say, we are His shutaf bema’aseh bereishit, His partner, His helper, in the work of creation. From that covenant between G-d and the human individual we have gradually, over the centuries, learned to build a society founded on relationships. First by creating a marriage. Then by creating a family. Then by creating a tribe. Then by creating a nation. And, ultimately, by creating a world. Tirzah Suissa is a young writer who is passionate about Jewish philosophy and the aspects of emunah in daily life. She was born in Brazil, moved to Israel at the age of 18 where she attended the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and later seminary. Tirzah currently resides in Brazil as she completes her medical degree. She is frequently in the United States working for Shabbat. com, representing its social media as global ambassador. Please feel free to reach out to her through Shabbat. com or through getemunah@outlook.com. Follow her on Instagram @getemunah

DIVE IN LIKE A DIVA WWW CVRGENY COM CVRGENY .

healthy soul

I love that I can effect change in Heaven.

SO UL FO OD

Rav Moshe Cordovero teaches us in Sefer Tomer Devorah that when we express mercy toward one another, we bring this element of Heavenly mercy into the world. Plain and simple. Except that it’s not that simple. Emulating Hashem’s 13 Attributes of Compassion is not how we are wired. It goes against our nature to not take revenge and/or give the benefit of the doubt. We have to be committed to conquering that nature in order to have a chance at success. It can be confusing where to focus on getting started with change. We are inclined to say things like, “From now on I’m going to be a better person” or “I am going to start being nicer to people.” It sounds like a plan but it’s really our yetzer hara leading us to failure by offering up a plan that quiets that nagging voice of “I really should be working on my middos” but doesn’t offer any kind of real direction or practical, measurable results. So what do we do?

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November Issue

by Amy Lefcoe

I find the attribute “Mi kamocha, Keil— Who, Hashem, is like you” an excellent place to start. It’s an easy middah to understand once we learn it, and there are many practical opportunities to emulate it in our day-to-day interactions. “No sin has ever been committed unless at the very instant the person was sinning, Hashem was knowingly granting him the power to exist and move his limbs.” When a person does an aveirah, he sins with the very gifts G-d gives him! Certainly, Hashem could withhold those gifts at any given moment, but He doesn’t. Instead, He “endures and tolerates disgrace until the sinner returns in teshuvah.” In simple words, Hashem could seal a person’s lips together or make all of his teeth fall out while he shares a juicy piece of gossip but He doesn’t. Instead, Hashem “bears the insult and endures the offense until we do teshuvah.” Wow—that’s pretty nice of Him.

SO HOW DO WE EMUL ATE THAT IN OUR INTERPERSONAL REL ATIONSHIPS? LET ’ S LOOK AT SOME SCENARIOS:

1 2 3

You really need help with a shul fundraiser that you are chairing and your good friend Malkie is not rising to the occasion. She keeps telling you about how busy she is and her crazy schedule. What is her problem? Does she think you have tons of free time to work on this? You are so frustrated with her and filled with judgment. A few months later she is working on a fundraiser for the school. She asks you if you could take a few small things off her list. What do you do? You participated in making the time surrounding Pessi’s simchah special (cooking, decorating, hosting, etc.). It was a ton of work but you were happy to participate. After all, your families have been friends for years. When it was time for your simchah, she was one of the few friends who didn’t do anything. Your feelings were hurt but you decided to let it go. In time, you brought over a beautiful dinner to comfort her family during a time of loss. When you needed a comforting dinner soon after, she once again dropped the ball. How are you feeling about the friendship right now? A close, extended family member did something that affected your plans and it made you mad. When she calls you that afternoon, you don’t pick up the phone. As a matter of fact, you’re not even going to respond to her text. The next day you hear some good news that you would typically share with her regarding another family member, but you decide to keep it from her. Is this now the new relationship?

Amy Lefcoe is a Jewish educator and loves sharing her passion for Torah and Jewish outlook. She is a teacher at BINA Girls High School in Norfolk, VA, and speaks for women’s groups locally and in Israel. Amy is a graduate of The Fashion Institute of Technology and has pursued Jewish studies over the past three decades. She is a certified emunah and marriage coach through Machon HaAdam HaShalem and remains an active participant in the organization’s personal growth and G-d-centered chaburas. In addition, she is a graduate of the revolutionary Shiras Sarah Teachers Training Fellowship. Amy spends her time with her husband Kevin, children, family and dear friends. She can be reached at alefcoe626@gmail.com.

In all these cases, you have been harmed and hurt. It seems reasonable and fair to withhold your good in the future. But guess what? These are custom-made opportunities to emulate Hashem. The first thing is to recognize them and the second is to seize them! By giving others the benefit of the doubt and not withholding your good you will experience the delectable flavor (fat free) of conquering your nature, give Hashem nachas, and be the catalyst for bringing this element of mercy into the world!

photo credit pexels.com

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Attitude of Gratitude by Lisa Stein

It was only after the loss that I was able to appreciate what was in front of me. Of course after the loss of a loved one we mourn and wish they were still with us.

November Issue

The loss I’m talking about is the loss of the ability to use my arms and legs. Painful arthritis is part of a chronic condition I have had since I was 20 years old.

When my Crohn’s disease flares, the arthritis can come on strong and can be debilitating. It was right around the time I was getting engaged to my husband that the arthritis was so bad, my arms could not even lift the telephone to speak to my then-fiancé. It was extremely hard for me to feed myself, dress myself, and do other activities of daily living. And right before my wedding, which was another stressful time, my legs decided to give out. I could not climb stairs, it was hard for me to turn over in bed, and obviously walking was a chore. I was afraid that I wasn’t going to be able to dance at my own wedding! But with help from my doctors and of course the love from Hashem (and some prednisone) I recovered just in time. Those two separate incidents taught me to be grateful every single day for these things that we take for granted.

Being thankful and showing gratitude—it’s something we all have access to every day of the year. It doesn’t cost a penny, doesn’t take too much time, and the health benefits both mentally and physically are enormous. Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions. Our brains have neuroplasticity, which means whatever we feed it is the way it’s going to grow. So if you are a more positive person, your brain will start to make those connections, and instead of going to the negative first you’ll think of something more positive to get you through. Gratitude is also known to reduce envy, which is a very big problem these days. With everybody on social media showing their “perfect” lives, it’s hard to look inward and be grateful for all that you have. But doing so will help you realize that Hashem has given you everything you need at that exact moment to do what you need to do in this world. That doesn’t mean you can’t pray and hope for more, but just remember that you may not need whatever you’re asking for at that exact time. Gratitude can lead you to feel better about your circumstances, which in turn will make you feel better about yourself. Expressing gratitude to our significant other results in improved quality of the relationship. Showing our gratitude to loved ones is a great way to make them feel good, make us feel good, and make the relationship better in general. Another benefit both to ourselves and others is that gratitude can decrease our self-centeredness. Evidence has shown that promoting gratitude can make one more likely to share with others even at the expense of themselves and even if the receiver was a stranger. My husband and I were extremely grateful recently to be able to host for Shabbat an Israeli soldier who unfortunately lost both of his legs from the knee down during his time in the Israeli army. He came to New York to receive new prosthetics, which he does every few years. Even though we never met before, it was my honor to open my home to him and his family. Even with the language barrier, there are nonverbal ways to communicate and “speak” to one another. When he left, again I was brought back to the time where I unfortunately briefly had trouble with my own legs. I can’t even imagine what he was going through! The way he went up and down my stairs with his prosthetics was nothing short of amazing! And he did it with a smile, which makes him my hero. How many people do you know who spend their life complaining, agonizing over this and that, and always looking at the negative side? Even during COVID I’ve heard of couples meeting in the most unusual ways, which they wouldn’t have if not for the pandemic. And many people recuperating from COVID are so grateful to be alive and well. No two people have the same exact lives, and you have a unique purpose in this world to fulfill. Instead of looking outward, try to look inside of yourself and see what you could be grateful for in your own life.

Start by asking yourself what is going well in my life right now, what and whom have I taken for granted, in which area can my growth really make a difference? Maybe it’s in your marriage; do you truly appreciate what your spouse brings to your relationship? When was the last time you told him/her? I hear this all the time in my private practice; we think our spouse is a mind reader and that if we’ve been married for so many years, then why don’t they know what we need! This is a terrible assumption. Try to spend at least half an hour a day face-to-face with your spouse, not talking through walls, and always looking at each other’s faces to build emotional connection. To me health is everything. But without experiencing trying times in our lives it’s difficult to remember to thank G-d for what we have. There is a prayer that I say before lighting Shabbat candles that includes the line “Thank You for the periodic times that are difficult for me for only that way they enable me to fully appreciate the good times, for only after being in the darkness one can appreciate the light.”

Lisa Stein is a psychotherapist practicing in Great Neck, New York. She works with adults, has a general practice, and specializes in trauma. She welcomes your comments at steinismine@gmail.com. Lisa Stein, LCSW EMDR Therapist Great Neck, NY / 516-592-9877

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November Issue

makeup

wellness & beauty

by Lisa Buono

Hi! I’m Lisa and I have seen a lot of faces. Trust me, no two faces are alike! So learning to wear makeup suitable for your skin, eyes, and face is so important. Trendy makeup styles are fun but simply do not work for everyone at every age. Keeping skin youthful is the best way to look your very best. Learning about your skin’s needs and taking care of your skin is a big reason celebrities look so fabulous. Simple makeup tricks can create amazing illusions, but placed improperly or using too much for the wrong occasion can be a disaster. Starting with good skin care, understanding your facial features, and working some Hollywood makeup magic are some great steps to creating the very best version of you! You can be red carpet ready all the time! Remember, a trend is fun and fabulous but good skin care and correct makeup will be timeless!

fact All cosmetics are primarily made of two main components. Pigment and vehicle. Pigment is color and vehicle is the substance used to move the pigment. So if you have a nude illuminating foundation it would consist of nude pigments and a form of silicone to give you that dewy, youthful look. Other examples could be setting powder. The vehicle may be mineral-based with pigment. Some brands use more vehicle than pigment, creating sheer-coverage cosmetics.

So until we speak again, remember: Beauty is not only skin deep, but healthy skin is the picture that displays every bit of you. So join me here for some of Hollywood’s best-kept secrets. Oh, by the way, I’d love to answer some of your skin and makeup questions and share solutions that can benefit everyone! It takes a village! Send them to LisaBmkup@gmail.com. Thanks for reading! Love, Lisa

tip

If your foundation has a silicone or silicone derivative then your cleanser may not be removing all of it. Using a makeup remover first is the best assurance to completely removing our cosmetics and leaving your skin ready for washing, toning, serum and moisturizer!

Lisa Buono has been working on some of Hollywood’s most beautiful faces for more than three decades. Whether it’s red-carpet ready or ready for their closeup, esthetics and makeup artistry have been her passion for a long time. Her incredible journey began as a cosmetology student in 1985 in Eatontown, NJ, and in 1989 Joe Blasco School of Professional Makeup Artistry, Hollywood, Ca. Her film and television credits include Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Fight Club, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, Gone in 60 Seconds, Once and Again, Bones, CSI NY, Wizards Of Waverly Place, Corey In The House, Dancing with the Stars, Blue Collar, Bold and the Beautiful, Jeopardy, The Middle, Ellen’s Game of Games, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and KABC News. Her celebrity list includes Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Wylde, Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Matt Damon, Pierce Brosnan, Michael Douglass and so many more! Join her here for tricks and tips on how to keep your mature skin beautiful and your makeup perfect for every age, every occasion, and every season.

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wellness & beauty

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

wellness & beauty

The most current trends in hair and wig styling. Devorah is a mom of nine; five boys and four girls in ages ranging 3 months to 19 years old. She’s a marathon runner who has qualified for Boston several times. Her passion for hair styling and cutting began as a young girl living with five sisters. She always loved styling their hair along with her mother’s for fun. This talent quickly turned into a passion and she began babysitting in exchange for hair-cutting classes during her high school years. While studying for a master’s for speech therapy in Israel, she noticed that she was living in an area where not many were servicing wigs and it was not easy to access an American wig line. She took the opportunity, and slowly but surely, began introducing wig lines and her services to the community. It took off from there and she was faced with a decision: go after her passion or stick to speech therapy?

November Issue

by Devorah Soroka

Since what she was doing brought so much joy to the women she serviced and helped them cover their hair in a way that made them feel so beautiful, she followed her passion and never looked back. She has created a positive, warm, accepting and loving environment for so many. It gives her the ability to do something she loves while still being able to be there for the ones she loves—her family. When women sit in her chair, in her beautiful and vibrant studio in Chicago, the bonding and friendship is palpable.

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wellness & beauty

Hi, friends! Here are the three styles I want to highlight this season:

Crimped: the ‘80s are back!

Crimpy waves are fresh and very in vogue this season—and you can achieve this look at home!

WHAT IS CRIMPED HAIR?

The crimped hair look is when you style straight or straightened hair with a crimping iron to create a zig-zagged, wavy texture. Different from loose curls and wavy hairstyles, crimped hair provides a purposefully frizzy, super-voluminous look. STEP #1: Start With Freshly Washed Hair or Wig. STEP #2: Blow-Dry Your Hair. In order to use your crimping iron, your hair must be completely dry. After all, burnt hair is not a good look. Wait until your hair has mostly dried on its own, then blow-dry it the rest of the way. STEP #3: Brush Your Hair. Using a smoothing bristle brush, detangle any knots in your hair so you have a perfectly smooth surface before you begin crimping. STEP #4: Section Your Hair. Just like with curling or straightening your hair, the best way to achieve this style is to split your hair or wig into sections. Part your hair into a top and bottom section, and divide each of those sections into a left and right side. Use lobster clips to keep the hair that you’re not working with out of the way. STEP #5: Prep Your Crimping Iron. You have two options: You can either use an old-school crimper or a newfangled zig-zag iron.The new zig-zag irons create wider crimps for a modern touch that slightly resembles geometric waves. Regardless of which tool you choose, plug it in and set it on the lowest setting that allows you to style your hair without

having to make multiple passes.The thinner the hair, the lower setting you can get away with. STEP #6: Crimp Away! Using your crimping iron of choice, start going section by section to crimp your hair. Split each of your four sections into smaller sections to create a volumized end look that’s full of definition and texture. When crimping, sandwich the plates of the iron horizontally across your hair to give you the look you’re going for. Hold down the crimping iron for five to ten seconds per section to achieve the look. Depending on the thickness of your hair, you may need to hold it for longer. Feel free to experiment until you get it just right.

The second style is the

beachy wave.

1. Take one small section of your hair in the iron and pull down almost till the end, but leave some room at the end. 2. Turn the iron and roll it back up. TIP: 3. Untwist the curling iron and pull away. A super-easy way 4. Go through it with your hands. to achieve this look is by simply braiding 5. Your beach waves are done! your hair or wig and leaving it to set overnight.

wellness & beauty

straight blunt style. H E R E ’ S H OW TO AC H IEVE T HI S LOO K :

November Issue

1. Take an ear-to-ear section from the bottom of the head. 2. Using a straightening iron, take a small section, place the iron at the root and glide over your hair, holding the plates tight together. 3. Repeat in sections until all your hair is straightened.

Devorah Soroka has also created a social media community where she has upward of 18k followers, or friends, as she likes to call them. She shares all things hair and wigs, lifestyle, health, womanhood, home, kids, running and inspiration. She looks forward to connecting with you too! You can find her at @dswigdesign on Instagram.

The Famous

The third style that’s super in this season is the

Esther Aron

ESTHER ARON WIGS

OFFERS ALL YOUR SIMCHA NEEDS IN ONE SPOT PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP ARTIST NOW ON PREMISES CHILDREN & ADULT STYLING FOR SIMCHOS

ALL WIGS DRASTICALLY REDUCED $10.00 OFF WASH AND SET w/mention of ad FULL SERVICE WIG SALON

718.951.8849/718.915.5417 1154 East 14th Street (K&L) Brooklyn Same Day Service Wholesale/Retail Closed Wed & Fri Appointments Welcome

732.370.1337 12 AMERICA AVE, UNIT 5B LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

wellness & beauty

Fall Fashion

The color of the season is…brown! There’s no such thing as black anymore. The colors that are now in are brown, off white, and winter white. The times of black and gray in the fall and winter are over!

Colors seem to warm up when it cools down. This colorblock look is the perfect transition from summer to fall.

There are many ways to accessorize and plan your outfits based on these colors. You can add a vest or a jacket to bring your outfit to the next level. Here are some pictures to inspire you to bring these colors into your wardrobe!

Who said you can’t wear white after Labor Day? This look is the perfect winter vibe! There’s a reason snow is white and only falls down in the winter!

November Issue

So glamorous! A paid skirt, blazer and chunky black booties: the perfect combo with a fedora hat. This look can be transformed from day to night!

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47 Beige, black and white: the colors that most people feel comfortable and look good in.

Beige is atmosphere. It’s ivory, it’s cream, it’s stone. It’s the color of fall and it’s warmth; it makes me want a cappuccino and warm toast.

They say fashion is what you buy. Style is what you do with it—and I couldn’t agree more. Friends who dress together stay together.

Every season has its specific clothing pattern trend, and just because you don’t usually like prints it doesn’t mean you can’t wear houndstooth.

November Issue

Stock up on your essentials. Blue, black, brown and white tops will match even the funkiest colors of fur. Go ahead, step outside your comfort zone.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak. We’re in love with this heart sweater that adds the perfect funk to any plain skirt!

You can’t ever go wrong with black and white. The classic colors blend with everything. Throw on a pair of statement shoes or jewelry and you’ll be the classy star of the show.

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Jen Sharbani

wellness & beauty

Dear Rachel, I hear your struggle and I am here to guide you! First, I want to congratulate you on taking the step toward becoming more modest! To start, modesty is a frame of mind. When many women choose to wear modest clothing they feel they are giving themselves the power over their own body and mind. Out there in our world we’re constantly bombarded with messages and images that contradict modesty and make immodest dress the norm.

November Issue

However, you are not the norm: You are beautiful inside as well as outside and wearing modest clothing (protecting your outside) can help you better develop who you are inside and shine!

Picture Kate Middleton in her beautiful, modest attire and see

Dear Modestly Yours, I grew up in a Modern Orthodox home where my mother wore pants and so did I. I want to wear more covered clothing but I always felt it’s boring and restrictive and not very pretty. How can I start to wear more modest clothing? Rachel L., Cedarhurst, New York

how dignified and respected she is throughout the world. She looks so elegant and refined. By dressing modestly you are the queen of your own domain! I would first suggest starting with an area that you’ll be the most comfortable committing to, such as covering your elbows or your knees. Find an amazing modest top or skirt and put it on in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and reaffirm why you are choosing to be modest as well as how much more beautiful and respectable you look! You may even notice how people treat you differently—positively and negatively. Keep that in mind when you go outside and keep your affirmation in your head to remind yourself as you get feedback from people. Positive feedback is obviously the most flattering and will take you higher! If you encounter negative feedback, realize that it often comes from others’ insecurities about themselves or fear of change. Keep

reminding yourself how strong and beautiful you are in your modest attire—like royalty! You’re a diamond, darling; go out there and sparkle! I wish you well on your journey of modesty and keep me posted on your progress! Modestly Yours

Jen Sharbani, aka Modestly Yours, is a Great Neck, New York, native, living in the fashion capital of the world. Modestly Yours most recently created a designer collection of modest swimwear women can feel proud to wear from day to night! CVRGE is made for modest women seeking to look their very best while being gorgeously modest. Jen has had a passion for fashion from a very young age, attending college at FIT and from there landing at top European fashion houses, Valentino and Chloe, before taking some time out to raise her three children.

Coffee Break Hi, everyone, my name is Karen Behfar.

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healthy finances

A Candid Chat with the Bosses by Karen Behfar

I’m a real estate broker and owner of a busy Brooklyn residential real estate firm, The Behfar Team. I used to be a special-ed therapist for many years and I’m always intrigued by different frum women business owners. I will use this column to share with you different business topics and bring to you various frum women in business to answer business-related questions that can help you. If you have any suggestions for business topics, we would love to hear. You can email submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com. How do you juggle running a business and running a home? We all run very busy lives; just being a frum wife and mother and managing everything at home keeps you busy enough. Add to that working full time and running a business and it can literally take over your life. Let’s see how these women do it.

healthy finances

THIS MONTH’ S TOPIC IS:

The Juggling Act. Tanya Rosen Nutrition by Tanya

Balance and juggle are funny words to me. I gave up on them long ago. I prefer to be present and focused. What that means is trying to be there (whether that is work or home) both physically and mentally. It means that when I’m at work, I’m at work. When I’m home, I’m home. But before you falsely think I’m one of those amazing people who shuts their phone off at 5 p.m. and doesn’t look at it until the next day, let me explain. As I got to know myself better over the years, I realized two things: I do better with quality versus quantity. Hours on end? Not good. A quality hour or two at a time? Much better. I’m a better and more present mom when it’s focused on short intervals versus distracted long ones. I like doing things outside the house with my kids/husband versus finding ways to connect at home. This translates both into errands and into dates. I go on a date with each kid and my husband almost every week. These aren’t long but they’re consistent and they’re on a schedule so that it actually

Odette Rishty

November Issue

It’s All A Gift

First and foremost I prioritize being able to smile at everyone at all times. If I don’t feel like I can do that when I wake up in the morning, I know I need to slow down. Downtime at home usually solves this. Tefillah, a cup of coffee, some chesed, and a chat with a best friend while cooking up dinner or planning a meal will usually resolve it. I ask all business associates and shidduch communications to start off as texts so that my phone isn’t constantly ringing—and when it does ring it’s family and I can be present for them when they call. My rabbi explained early on that I always have a business

happens. And…delegate! Whether it’s at work or at home, delegate whatever you can (and don’t micromanage whoever is doing it). I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I don’t do paper work. I don’t do bank and accounting stuff. I don’t do recipes or product development. There’s a lot more I don’t do so that I have more time and headspace for what I do do. I also think that the more you involve your kids in your work life and the more you involve your staff in your home life, the more everyone will understand you and feel a part of it too. Tanya Rosen is the founder and owner of Nutrition by Tanya, with 12 locations throughout New York, New Jersey and Israel. Tanya is also the creator of the TAP (Tanya-approved products) food line sold in all major supermarkets throughout the U.S., which includes pastries, meals, kugels and more, all healthy, of course. In addition, Tanya has published two cookbooks, multiple workout DVDs, and is a regular columnist for many popular Jewish magazines. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and five beautiful children.

partner—Hashem—and then my husband. If I prioritize family, my most important task, then Hashem will cover the rest. I love cooking, I love serving my family, and It’s All a Gift is a love of serving our Jewish community at large. I love finding gorgeous jewelry and gifts, so while it’s a struggle to always feel pulled in many directions, I love and want to smile and be present for all. I can’t say I don’t get tired. But a fulfilled family—who smile and hug me at every meal—and customers who over and over again send thank yous and photos of their happy purchases exhilarates me too! Odette Rishty is the owner of It’s All A Gift, which sells fine 14k and sterling silver jewelry and unique gifts. She has been proudly serving the Midwood and Flatbush area and beyond for over 12 years. Odette can be reached at itsallagift.com or on instagram @itsallagift.

Tanya Rosen

Left: Odette Rishty

Yocheved Gross Wigs

Everybody has to figure out the science of their life. Everybody has different family dynamics, personalities, strengths and weaknesses, and with that awareness it becomes easier to tackle everything that gets thrown at you. I’m in the service business; I have to know that I can only do hair for a certain amount of hours a day and only willing to travel a certain amount so that I can be home in time for my kids for supper, bath and bed. People ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?” First and foremost you have to have a supportive spouse across the board. It’s much harder for a woman to be strong and successful in both raising her family and running her business without a husband to stand behind her. There will be a lot of decisions to be made and a lot of trial and error. There will be times when you do things and your husband may not be so happy about it, and you realize that might not be something that works for us, so next time we are going to change things. Second is communication: One of the keys to my successful business is a supportive spouse, and even my supportive kids! I can’t not acknowledge them. When the family unit Yocheved Gross is supportive of each other’s endeavors and each other’s things it makes it much easier to conquer all. Just like I am supportive of my husband’s Hatzolah volunteer work, there is an equal understanding of each other’s needs to be successful. How do I juggle Yom Tov and work? It’s very simple: lots of cooking in advance or knowing you have to cook fresh. If you don’t have time to cook in advance because you were busy at work, just plan to cook fresh that day. I do not take jobs on Fridays. On Fridays I do my grocery shopping and I make Shabbos. It’s my time to do all the things I couldn’t do during the week. There are many times I get calls to take jobs on Fridays but I won’t do it because I understand that in order for my science to work and in order for me to be able to do what I do I can’t take jobs six days a week. Yocheved gross is a hair and wig stylist for over 22 years. She is one of the CEOs of Hair and Blush Academy. She runs a support group for mothers who have autism, and runs Ohr Malka, an organization that provides free hair and makeup for simchahs for people who aren’t able to afford it. Aside from working full time, Yocheved, along with her husband, is busy raising her five beautiful children.

Freidy (Amy) Guttmann

Hands on OT Rehab, Hands on Approaches, H.O.P.E Foundation The first thing I want to share about managing my work life, family life and community life is that I really view it more as a counterbalance, not so much a balancing act—because I don’t think as frum women we really can live our lives in that definitive way. I make sure I always have time at the start of the day before my youngest child is up to have a half hour to 45 minutes where I am alone with no interruptions. I will tell you that when my children were very young and I was nursing them, and they were waking up 4:30-5:00 a.m., it was really hard to wake up at 4:00, 4:30 or even 5:00 in the morning to try to get that half hour in, but it was a saving grace for me and that is how I learned to counterbalance. The way I think about counterbalancing is that you have to commit, in your mind, to which area you are going to focus on that week and then bring it down to the day. I do the Miracle Morning, which is a six-step idea of silence, and make sure to have silence for five minutes. I do affirmation, which for me is prayer. I do visualizations, I exercise for 20 minutes, and then I read something that interests me outside of my work, and I write. It takes about 40 minutes to do all that and that’s the way I allow myself to reset and make sure my priorities are straight and I’m doing things that allow me to be there for the rest of my family, community and work. Freidy (Amy) Guttmann So, to summarize, taking that time for self care and the activities mentioned above help me be there for my family and full-time business. Friedy (Amy) Guttmann, one of the “Guttmann Sisters,” is a neurodevelopmental therapist and director of Hands on OT Rehab, Hands on Approaches, and the H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. Her focus as an international film speaker and lecturer is in educating and empowering the community to help children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. She can be reached at info@handsonapproaches.com.

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healthy finances

Have you had the Gastric Bypass or Sleeve surgeries?

We will work with you to: Maintain results Lose even more weight Continue a healthy lifestyle Our program can be done in person or over the phone 844-TANYA-DIET (826-9234) | info@nutritionbytanya.com | www.nutritionbytanya.com

by Yael Ishakis

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Money Matters

healthy finances

Dear Yael, I’m looking to purchase a home. I have $50,000 saved up and I can borrow $100,000 from family and friends. Is it better to have a larger down payment or a higher mortgage payment? To give full details, the purchase price is $500,000 and the taxes on the house is $8,500. Property is located in Jackson, New Jersey. ~ Shani Y. Dear Shani, I’m really excited that you are purchasing a home! A property is usually the biggest purchase in one’s life if they’re not in the RE field. Real estate usually appreciates 2% per year (national statistic), although the homes have gone up much more than 2% in the the past couple of years. Therefore it would make sense to put 10% down as after five years you will have 100% return of your initial investment in equity in your home. Additionally, Fannie and Freddie don’t allow one to borrow for a down payment. A person is only allowed to get a gift accompanied by a gift letter. The reason is that a person tends to pay back a friend faster than paying a faceless bank, and that can lead to defaults. The only reason I would advocate for a larger down payment is if you have a hard time affording the mortgage payment with the higher loan amount and additional MI. (MI is mortgage insurance, which is an extra expense added because you

are putting down less than 20% of the purchase price. MI is priced on this particular scenario at $104 a month provided your credit scores and debt-to-income ratios are good. The mortgage insurance can get removed by paying down the loan to 80% ltv or by paying your mortgage on time between one-two years (depending on the lender) and getting a new appraisal showing the value went up. I hope this answers your questions. Give me a ring if you have any other inquiries. Best of luck, Yael

Yael Ishakis is the vice president and branch manager of FM Home Loans. Yael has made it her mission to provide mortgage financing to all her clients from their first home to their investment building and entire portfolio. Yael is a frequent speaker on mortgage-related issues, and her book “The Complete Guide to Purchasing a Home” is already on its third printing cycle. When not in the office, Yael enjoys tennis and is a voracious reader. To reach Yael, email yishakis@fmm.com or call her cell phone at 845-548-9075.

healthy finances

YOUR STEP -BY-STEP GUIDE FROM

Accepted Offer to Closing Table in New York by Karen Behfar

Both parties sign, and the contract is fully executed now and the mortgage process can now begin. Once you have a commitment and are cleared to close, you’re ready to schedule closing. A walk-through of the property is generally done a day or two before closing. A walkthrough is there to ascertain that the home is in the same condition when you went into contract. We also make sure that the home is “broom clean.” Kudos to the sellers who take great care to leave the house as presentable as they would want to find it. It’s an uneasy feeling when the walk-through is taking place and the house was left dirty and not presentable. Besides being a legal obligation to be “broom clean,” it leaves a bad taste to the buyers. In short, leave it presentable! Once sitting at the closing table, the buyer will sign all the paperwork that has been prepared. Be aware that this process can take some time and there are more than just one or two papers to sign. Actually there is an insane amount of papers to sign, so make sure you’re well rested . You will typically sign the documents at your attorney’s office. However, before any final signing occurs, a few things will happen: 1. The attorney will draft up all paperwork to transfer the deed.

P November Issue

Purchasing a home is an exciting time, but there are many steps and processes required before the home becomes your own. In New York, to complete the real estate transaction you will want to work closely with a real estate attorney when closing on your new property.

When you begin your journey and get an accepted offer there typically is a deal sheet/term sheet that is sent to both attorneys. Your attorney will conduct a full review of the contract and make changes as needed. Once the review is complete, you will sign the contract. Talk to your attorney about who needs to be present during this first contract signing. Additionally, during this step in the process, the buyer will need to provide the agreed-upon portion of the down payment to their attorney (typically 10 percent, but can be less depending on neighborhood (less-popular neighborhoods will entertain less DP), situation (if a home buyer is selling their home simultaneously it’s typical to put down less).

2. The buyers will be informed of their final closing costs. This will include the down payment on the home, all closing costs, any unpaid taxes or utilities, etc. In addition to signing the papers, the buyer will also pay their attorney the final closing cost in the form of a cashier’s check. Once all documents are signed and the transaction is recorded, buyers will receive their keys (a gift from their broker 😉 and the home officially becomes their own. Now time to turn the HOUSE into a HOME!

Karen Behfar holds a bachelor’s degree and a master’s in psychology and special education, which she uses in her work when dealing with people, whether in negotiating or providing quality advice and service. She currently works in the real estate industry as a successful broker and owner of The Behfar Team together with her husband, Aharon. The Behfar Team offers expertise in customer service, sales and working with investors and sellers alike, while maintaining integrity and professionalism no matter the situation.

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November Issue

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healthy families

Elana Mizrahi

Intro by Sharona, nutrition counselor and manager of the new Nutrition by Tanya Ramat Bet Shemesh location

Dear Readers, It is such a pleasure to be able to introduce Elana Mizrahi to all of you. Elana and I met through a mutual friend, but I got to know her more intimately as she was my doula at the birth of my first child. I can therefore tell you first-hand that not only is Elana an amazing practitioner, but she sincerely cares for her clients. Elana is a women’s healthcare practitioner certified as a life coach, integrative healthcare counselor, massage therapist and more. She helps women with trauma, anxiety, stress, infertility and the list

goes on and on! More than her work in healthcare, Elana is a true source of inspiration as a rebbetzin and Torah teacher. I am so grateful to have her as a mentor and guide; I learned so much from her course on parenting and shalom bayis, and look forward to her weekly parsha emails, which provide me with relatable inspiration every week. Elana’s lessons, and the personal guidance she provides whenever I call her, are always rooted from a place of truth and a sincere desire to grow closer to Hashem. She is truly someone special!

Happy reading

Sharona

healthy families

A PEEK INTO THE LIFE OF

Elana Mizrahi

facilitated by Tova Potesky

Hi, Elana! Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview! I know you are so busy so we really appreciate the time! My pleasure; I am thankful for the opportunity!

November Issue

I see you have so many different certifications related to women’s physical and emotional health. Before we discuss the incredible work that you do, can you tell us a little bit about what your life was like growing up? My grandparents were chicken farmers and made everything from scratch. I therefore grew up with the appreciation of having a simple and down-to-earth life. I learned to appreciate all the small things in life, and this definitely helps me today in all the work and counseling that I do. I also grew up with the concept of doing “doable hishtadlus.” This concept helps me tremendously in my work because health has so many aspects to it, and therefore I try to tell everyone to only do things that are doable for them.

How did you get interested in the fields you work in? My husband and I weren’t having kids, so we started treatments. The treatments went on for a number of

years, but throughout the process we just felt there was no one to talk to, and we were extremely lonely. It was a very impersonal journey, and we felt very disconnected with the medical system. It was very emotionally draining. After a few years of trying many treatments that were all failing, we decided to take a break. That was when we made the move to Israel from Mexico City where we were living at the time. About a year later we decided to try treatments again. The treatment we were to be given was one that we had already tried and we knew wouldn’t work. However, we didn’t stand up for ourselves, and when the treatment did not work, I finally just broke down. I couldn’t handle the medical system any longer. Wow! That sounds really hard! So what happened next? At that point, a friend of mine suggested we try something natural instead of trying another treatment. We decided we may as well go for it, and from then on we changed our diet and started taking various herbs and supplements. We also strengthened our emunah and bitachon that if Hashem wants us to conceive, He will make it happen. Baruch Hashem, a little while later we conceived and had a healthy baby boy. I was so thankful, so right then and there I decided I want to help women

going through similar situations. The first thing I did was learn massage therapy, because touch in itself is healing. I then went on to learn reflexology, and then I became a doula. I then went on to learn the different aspects of nutrition. I kept going from one thing to the next, as I have an extreme passion for learning. I tried learning as many therapies and techniques related to women’s health as possible. I even asked a Yemenite lady to teach me a uterine massage that I had heard about; however, she said she couldn’t teach it to me because I am not Yemenite, so it’s not part of my mesorah! Ha! That’s pretty funny! It was! Eventually I found an Indian program that I wanted to join but it wasn’t Jewish, so the schedule wasn’t working with Shabbos and the Yomim Tovim. I kept telling myself that if I am meant to join the program, Hashem will make it work for me. Shortly afterward I was directed to a woman in England who was a teacher of this same program. She was in the same time zone as me and therefore might be able to accommodate my needs. It turns out that she was very interested in visiting Israel, and a few weeks later she came to visit and was able to teach me all the techniques that the program had to offer in my very own hometown according to the schedule that worked for me!

A few months later I came to America and got certified in prenatal care. Also, around that time I was seeing a lot of correlation between trauma and birth so next I learned trauma therapy. That is tremendous siyata dishmaya at play! How long did it take to get all the certificates you have? It’s still an ongoing process. I started studying in 2008, and I got my first certificate in 2009. After that I kept going for more and more, and am still working on additional certifications until today. You really never stop learning! That’s right. I am constantly learning new things and am constantly adding to my array of knowledge and experience. I think I was just born with this desire to know everything about the world; I’ve always loved science, history, nature and pretty much everything there is to learn. I have also always had a desire to help, and I am passionate about helping women achieve their dreams of having a happy, healthy family. I also love helping people create and maintain better relationships and connecting to their inner wisdom and instincts. My desire to help definitely came from my experience, and I am so thankful to finally be able to be on the giving side instead of the taking side. What is the typical age of your clients? I work with people of all ages, except young children. My youngest clients are in their teenage years, and the oldest client I ever had was 90 years old. One thing I try very hard to instill in women is that each and every woman should feel like she is a whole person and not just a problem! I also always strongly believe that when dealing with women we need a certain level of acceptance—because at the end of the day Hashem controls our health but we need to do our hishtadlus to make ourselves as healthy as can be. That’s a beautiful way to look at things. Which certification do you find yourself using the most? I focus on all aspects of women’s health so I am using many of my

certificates constantly. A lot of my work involves fertility and postnatal care so those certifications are helpful. I also focus on helping busy women find the practical balance between their family, work, and alone time. The truth is that many of the different certifications overlap and enhance the effectiveness of the others. So practically speaking, what does a typical day in your life look like? There is no typical day! Due to the fields that I specialize in, many things tend to be last second; for example, I never know when a client may go into labor. So I am constantly running from one thing to the other and I keep my schedule flexible. Generally, in the morning and night I’m teaching, coaching and helping clients either through Zoom or in person. But no matter how busy my schedule is, I always make sure to exercise, daven, and learn every single day. I also always sit down to have breakfast with my husband every day. Many nights I get very little sleep and I daven to Hashem that the amount of sleep that I got should be enough for me to function and do everything I need to get done. Have you ever had a client you couldn’t help? And if so, what do you do? Of course! I have definitely had clients I couldn’t help. I always daven that I should be the right shaliach for the person I am working with, but I understand that sometimes I am not that person. In those cases I try to see myself as part of their journey, part of their process. How do you manage to balance it all with your family life? I always make sure to make family my priority. I only work in the mornings and at nights so I can dedicate my afternoons to my family. I am also great at multitasking, so I am able to get a lot of housework done while I am working. (I am actually currently ironing as I talk to you😊 . Do you ever get stressed out or exhausted? Do I ever get stressed out? Of course! I’m human! When I’m really stressed out I try to tune into myself and figure out what’s going on so I can identify it and validate it. I actually believe

that stress and emotional exhaustion come from a disconnect with Hashem. So I try to tell myself, “Okay, Elana, what are you taking upon yourself that really is only in the hands of Hashem?”—because a lot of times my stress comes from trying to control things that are beyond my control. And while I do believe it’s good to push myself spiritually—to be a little bit kinder, have better middos, smile more—when it comes to pushing myself physically, it usually backfires, so I try to take good care of myself physically. It’s a constant process of prioritizing what is important and what isn’t, and knowing what I can control and what’s in the hands of Hashem. But again, I’m human! Do you have any advice or anything you would like to let our readers know? In order to make any changes in your life, a person must make short, attainable goals so they will be able to stick to them long term without them backfiring. It’s extremely important to take baby steps instead of leaping. The key to change is practicality. If the change is practical and doable, then it will be able to be managed and maintained😊. Wow. I am feeling very inspired. Thank you again for your time. We are very much looking forward to hearing from you again in future issues.

Elana Mizrahi is passionate about helping Jewish women to connect: to connect to Hashem, to themselves and to each other. She is a mentor, published author, writer and lecturer. In addition to teaching, Elana also specializes in women’s health, infertility, prenatal and postpartum care, postpartum depression, birth and fertilityrelated trauma, anxiety and works as a doula, birth educator, women’s health care practitioner, parenting coach, shalom bayis coach, reflexologist and massage therapist. She teaches parenting classes (chinuch banim) and shalom bayit classes. Elana brings Torah into her healing practice and healing into her Torah classes. Originally from the Bay Area, California, and a graduate of Stanford University, she lives in Jerusalem with her husband and precious children. Elana speaks Spanish and Hebrew fluently and has a blog on the parsha as well as a WhatsApp group called “Inner Connections” that strives to bring Hashem into our everyday lives. Elana can be reached at elanamizrahi@gmail.com, or to view her website, please visit www.elanamizrahi.com.

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Empowered Parenting facilitated by Tanya Rosen

I admit, it’s hard to hold my attention. So when I heard Blimi speak at an event and actually did not get bored, I was intrigued.

I love Blimi’s straightforward, practical and blunt approach to parenting. She says it like it is and doesn’t waste time on fluff. I had a great time interviewing Blimi and hearing her out-of-the-box and honest answers. I hope you learn as much as I did. Stay tuned for future tips from Blimi.

What got you into this field?

My own experience as a child plus my experience as a parent. I remember thinking as a child: I don’t like being punished, and it doesn’t make sense to me, so I began reading parenting books and created a vision of what kind of mother I would be. Then I became a parent and realized I was acting in all the ways I told myself I wouldn’t. I hated it and so did my child. When my oldest daughter was four years old I hit my parenting rock bottom and knew I needed a motherhood revival. I found incredible information that helped transform my parenting. I became so passionate about it that I started sharing it with anyone who would listen. I then realized that people love this, and they’re thirsty for this information.

What is your approach based on?

November Issue

It’s largely based on attachment theory. The bottom line is that the relationship we have with our children is the most important thing. (Dr. Gordon Neufeld)

It is also based on the concept of consciousness, of becoming aware and conscious of our own triggers, patterns and conditioning and asking ourselves things like: “What’s happening for me in this moment? What am I feeling?” so that we can make

in the child. Values are imparted to our children through modeling and through relationships. Slow down the teaching, start showing by example, focus on the relationship and trust the process of maturity.

conscious parenting choices rather than just reacting based on what we’re feeling or on what our parents did.

Do you feel like you can’t lose it in public?

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Yeah, absolutely! I wish I could say that I don’t care what others think, but if I’m honest, I do feel pressure in public! I even feel like my kids can’t lose it in public because I’m worried about how others might perceive that!

The fascinating thing is that I constantly tell parents that it’s only normal for kids to act like kids, and I truly believe that. But I think our culture believes that a parent’s success is based on how well behaved their child is, and although I largely disagree with that idea (and that’s an entire conversation on its own), I know that’s how others might judge me or my children.

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What’s the number-one question people ask you? How do I get my kid to listen to me.

What’s your best quick tip?

They should know they’re very important in their children’s life. Studies show that fathers contribute to the development and wellbeing of their children in unique and valuable ways.

What is an embarrassing child moment that happened to you?

Oh, my goodness, I have so many! I once drove away from my oldest when she was two years old and left her on the curb because she refused to get in the car. I was horrified that I was even capable of doing something so negligent and, quite frankly, cruel. PSA: Never do this!!!

I love that; such a good question! Every child is born with a different temperament and we have no control over that. Some children’s nervous systems are more sensitive to input so their reaction to physical or emotional stimuli will be more intense than your average child. It can be hard for them to be them because they experience things more deeply and are often highly misunderstood.

I wish that (and I’m including myself) we trusted the process of maturity more. The way Hashem designed kids is that they naturally mature, according to the environment they’re in. If they’re in an environment where they receive nurturance, love and respect, they mature beautifully. We don’t have to constantly teach them every little thing. We don’t have to make everything into a teachable moment. We don’t have to push them toward independence. Maturity doesn’t happen through discipline. Discipline is what we do to make up for the maturity that is still lacking

What makes you different from other parenting coaches?

I don’t do behavior management, and I don’t do reward charts or punishments. While those may work in a superficial sense, I believe we’re missing a precious opportunity to get to know our child better and to truly help them from the inside out. I’m always looking for the root and the why of the issue. I’m looking for what the behavior is communicating and helping parents look for that as well. I’m not trying to put a bandaid on a booboo; I try to figure out why we have a booboo in the first place and how we can lovingly address it.

What about when a child is just born difficult?

Hmmm… In every interaction, especially the ones you’re struggling with, stop for a moment. Exit your own agenda, and meet your child where they are. Ask yourself: What’s happening for my child?

What do you wish all mothers knew?

Any tips for fathers?

degree of care to grow, while the dandelion is your average child who can grow well in many environments. P.S. In a typical large family there’s usually at least one child like this.

How has Instagram affected or helped your business?

It’s been amazing!!! It gives me a platform to share far and wide. So many parents have told me that their parenting has been positively impacted solely through what I share on Instagram, even without having used my services, and I’m so grateful for that. That’s why I do what I do. I want to help create change for both parents and children.

So… anything we can do as a parent?

Yes! If we take the time to understand them and what they need, it can be empowering for both the parent and child, and the child can flourish. This doesn’t mean the child’s temperament will change. To a certain degree some things will always be more challenging for them. The Orchid and the Dandelion book, by W. Thomas Boyce M.D, is very helpful and explains why some kids struggle and how we can help all of them thrive. The orchid is the sensitive child who requires a large

Wow… any negative to being on Instagram?

Thankfully, I rarely experience negativity on my account. However, in general, there is a lot of negativity on the platform. Unfortunately, people use it as an outlet for the pain and negativity they carry inside. I try not to scroll too much because of that, but I still find myself doing it! Blimie Heller is a mom who is passionate about helping parents build relationships with their children based on respect and trust. She can be reached through her website www.blimieheller.com.

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A Date, a Window and a Lesson Learned “Finish your bagels before I leave the house; bagels are a choking hazard,” I warn my 10-year-old twins. “Text me when you are out of the shower,” I remind my teen before running off to work in the morning. “I know people who have slipped.” “Make sure you unplug the toaster, text me when you get there, don’t run near the steps.” My list of worries sometimes seems ridiculous, but my kids are great: they humor me and do as instructed. I wasn’t always this cautious. In fact, I used to be a pretty carefree mom. My story of extreme overprotectiveness, bordering on insane, dates back to when my oldest children were just babies.

My Miracle by Basya Kovacs

November Issue

We all have miraculous events that give us pause, and sometimes even reshape our lives. Reminding ourselves about these experiences allows us to stay focused on the endless blessing Hashem gives us. Sharing these defining moments can inspire others to appreciate Hashem’s endless kindness.

Fifteen years ago I was 22 years old and already the proud mother of a son and a daughter, Simcha and Sarah*, born 14 months apart. They were pretty easy babies, and as they got a bit older, they were super cooperative and well behaved, allowing me the illusion that I was a supermom. They slept well, they ate well, listened well and delighted me with every new stage and milestone. While other children got into mischief and danger, mine played nicely and seemed to naturally stay out of trouble. The fact that my son didn’t talk at all and was almost two years old did not concern me at all. I knew he understood what I was saying, and I could usually figure out what his one word “ba” meant. We had an understanding. Life was good. Being a mother was easy. It was a beautiful Sunday in May and excitement was in the air. My younger sister Adina had moved to Monsey after seminary and was dating a guy she seemed to like. Today was date number three, and since my parents still lived in Chicago, my husband and I were to have the honor of hosting my sister, meeting the guy she was dating, and seeing them off. I was feeling honored, and pretty excited, as not much usually happened in my sleepy neighborhood in Staten Island. We cleaned the house until it shone, dressed our two little ones in clothing that my sister deemed cute enough, and set out some cold drinks. Adina got herself ready and my husband and I calmed her nerves as well as our own, and then...it was time. Moshe walked up the path to our little townhouse, and we welcomed him into our home for some awkward conversation about traffic and the weather. We were impressed by Moshe’s maturity and struck by his handsomeness, and while there wasn’t much time to get to know him, we liked what we saw. When we felt we had done our fair share of chit chatting and analyzing we sent them off with our blessings. As soon as they were out the front door I scooped up Simcha, who was almost two at the time, and ran upstairs to my bedroom window to sneak one last peek as they walked to the car. I opened my bedroom window and Simcha and I climbed onto my bed and gave Adina one last wave and two thumbs up...and off the adorable couple went. “Job well done,” Yehuda and I congratulated ourselves, feeling very mature. Yehuda went to our nearby shul to learn and I put Sarah down for a nap.

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The ambulance ride was one of dread mixed with hope, as Simcha faded in and out of consciousness. But amazingly, by the time we reached the hospital, Simcha was fully conscious. Relief began to take the place of panic. Simcha was alive. Simcha was going to be okay. He had to be okay.

To share your personal miracle, please contact us at submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com.

My Irish neighbors had been sitting outside enjoying the particularly beautiful weather when they heard a thud. At first they figured we must be doing some spring cleaning, and were tossing discard bags out the upstairs window, but when I flew out the door a moment later and grabbed up my son, they quickly pieced together what happened and called an ambulance, which came just moments later. In a daze, I raced off to the hospital while they graciously watched Sarah, and called Yehuda.

*Names have been changed for privacy.

I ran over to the window with dread. “Simchaaaaaaa”.... I didn’t need to look because I already knew. But I forced myself over to the bed—forced myself to look out the wide, gaping hole and there, lying on the concrete two floors below, in a pool of blood, was my son. Terror-fueled adrenaline took over. I flew down the stairs, ran out the front door and scooped up my son. I remember thinking I was holding my dead baby in my arms. In retrospect I should have never moved him, but at the time my brain was off; I was in absolute panic.

I was different, though. Changed. I no longer let my children out of my sight even for a moment. And I no longer thought of myself as a supermom. I began to understand that while my children were well behaved, cooperative and easy, they still needed to be watched carefully. Every moment that my children were safe and healthy became a gift that I would never again take for granted. Yehuda and I started a window gate gemach, to help parents cover the expense of childproofing their home. And I became the overprotective mother that I still am today. The way I see it now is that I have been entrusted with precious gifts and can never be too careful.

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Simcha was well behaved but he was never this quiet. Despite being pretty much nonverbal, we usually kept up a little banter while he played and I puttered. Suddenly panic stricken, I took the stairs two at a time, calling out my son’s name and flinging open doors. Bathroom first— what if there was water in the tub! No water. No Simcha. Kids bedroom—just Sarah sleeping peacefully. “Simcha, where are you?” I hollered. Then I noticed my bedroom door was open and my eyes went straight to the window. The window. The window that I had opened a few minutes before to wave one last goodbye to my sister. The window that just a few minutes before had a solid screen and was now a wide gaping hole….

Another miracle. On Monday when I came to relieve Yehuda of his shift at Simcha’s bedside in the PICU, I was greeted with a surprise. “Mommy, I got booboo.” Yes, Simcha spoke his first full sentence in the hospital crib. It was as if Hashem was telling me that not only would my son be okay, he would be more than okay. We came home with Simcha on Wednesday, feeling for all the world like we had experienced techiyas hameisim.

With Sarah peacefully asleep, I went back downstairs for some puttering and Tehillim. I davened that the date should go well and that Adina should have a great time, and more importantly, to have the clarity to know if Moshe was the one. After a few minutes I noticed that the house was very quiet. Too quiet. “Simcha,” I called. No answer. No “ba.” “Simcha, where are you?” I called louder this time. My house was small. Where was he?

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The next few days were nothing short of miraculous. Simcha’s vitals stayed stable. He was placed under observation, but there was no sign of brain damage—just some bruising on the right side of his head, which was the source of all the blood. We pieced together that Simcha’s fall must have been broken by the awning several feet below the window, effectively cutting his fall to the concrete in half. The neighbors later told us that from when they heard the thud of Simcha falling until they saw me fly out the front door was less than a minute—which meant that as I was checking the bathroom and then the bedroom, Simcha was falling; it all happened in a matter of moments. 347.563.3508 | boxspot.us@gmail.com | www.the-box-spot.com

healthy families

The Meaningful Marriage Manual

by Debbie Selengut

MEANINGFUL MINUTE

Dear Readers, The responsibility of writing an article about marriage is scary because although my goals are to talk about what is great in marriage, and discuss many positive ways in which we can enhance our marriages, I realize that this topic might cause pain to women who are struggling. Possibly, if someone is going through a difficult time, they might feel like the mountain is too hard to climb. The last thing I would want to do is cause anyone pain. My belief is, though, that any step in the right direction, no matter how small you think it is, will have a positive outcome, even if only you see it.

November Issue

I also appreciate our diversity. If we are married, then by definition we share commonalities, but each one of our lives are going to look different from each other.

Through these articles, my hope is that you each

realize how blessed you are, and learn how to create an even better, closer, more satisfying relationship. And for some, it brings to the forefront where our work is. I would like to use the platform of this article to highlight and hopefully shed some light on the day-to-day components of marriage—what we would call “life.” When thinking of a starting point, I decided to look at something that I believe we all struggle with at some point (or points), and that is the very human tendency we have to compare. We can’t help it. It’s very easy to look at another couple and feel like in some way they have it better, communicate better, look better together, have more fun, work as a team better.

Remember when you went to camp? Remember color war, watching the other team and seeing them looking so “busy,” so energized, what is everybody doing? We have no idea what is going on with any couple or inside any other relationship. We can feel a lot of pressure from what we perceive, and then in turn put a lot of pressure on ourselves, on our husbands, on our children… Let’s think about that. Realize that people show us the slice of life that they want us to see. I want to attach a small, attainable goal. I love the ability to create a new habit, and attaching the exercise to an activity that we do regularly helps it become a habit. Take something that happens daily—i.e., brushing your teeth, driving a carpool, dropping off a baby at a babysitter—and attach to that “event” a minute of thought in which we can focus on something about our husbands we are grateful for. So, let’s say, as I wash the breakfast dishes each day, I will think about one positive thing about my husband, or something that he did for me that I appreciate. Looking forward to the journey, Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Mrs. Debbie Selengut serves as an assistant principal in Bnos Bracha of Passaic. She serves as a consultant in schools and does teacher/new teacher training. She is a graduate of the Yesod Ma’ala New York Regional Fellowship of Principals, a division of Torah Umesorah. She teaches post-high school education, pre-marriage education, parenting and adult education courses. She is married to Rabbi Dovid Selengut, a rebbe at Joseph Kushner Hebrew Academy, and a therapist in private practice. She is a mother and grandmother.

last licks

Dieting can be hard...like... for real?! by Maya Karasanti

I had no idea! It’s not like I’ve been struggling with these extra rolls all my life. I’m 1 roll short Dieting IS of opening hard! Not Maya’s Bakery. “CAN be”... It IS IS IS!

And while it’s a bakery filled with sweet rolls, pastries, breads, and doughnuts, the deliciousness makes the pounds pile on like a stack of pancakes! Mmm... pancakes... with syrup... maybe some strawberries... definitely whipped cream... lots and lots of whipped cream. NO MAYA! Stop it! That’s what founded your body bakery in the first place! OY I say! OY! But now, let’s call it like it is:

There is no getting around it because you need to change your eating habits, moderate your food intake, eat less of all the bakery things you love, among other tasty things like fried foods. And now I want fried foods. It’s a never-ending cycle. But you’re not alone. And this is where the eye roll comes in... *cue eye roll* Because let’s face it... by now we all know we’re not alone. We know there are so many women, girls, and people in general that struggle with a healthy lifestyle on a regular basis. For some it may be easier than for

others but we have all had a taste, a dollop, a portion of what it’s like to struggle with better food decisions. It’s hard for everyone because even if you’re working to MAINTAIN your weight, that’s still effort. Let alone if you’re trying to lose or gain weight. The key is to find the better ways to make it work. Cahoot with a nutritionist, friends, family. Get that support system in place that will help you and share your healthy lifestyle with others. I’ll help you get started... Now I wanna hear everyone, all together, in your loudest, booming, can-do voice... “WE CAN DO THIS!” And... “WE DON’T NEED JUNK” And... “WE WILL MAIL ALL OUR JUNK TO MAYA INSTEAD” Excellent! I heard you loud and clear and I believe in you! Thank you in advance for your junky donations, I will be expecting them shortly. Sincerely, Maya’s Bakery Maya Karasanti has always believed that smiles are contagious and we should all be humorously infectious. Throughout her life, Maya has always enjoyed putting smiles on people’s faces, whether friends, family, at her job and even strangers. A simple smile does go a long way. It’s no wonder she brings her sassy sense of humor to Nutrition by Tanya and Health & Heels. She loves to put a humorous twist to most situations, especially dieting. Make sure to check out Nutrition by Tanya social media to see videos on her take on nutrition.

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minder e r a to s i t s

3 FLAVORS | 3 PACKETS | ENDLESS HEALTH BENEFITS

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Health & Heels - Issue 1

Articles inside

THE MEANINGFUL MARRIAGE MANUAL BY DEBBIE SELENGUT

MY MIRACLE BY BASYA KOVACS

LET’S GET COOKING

LAST LICKS BY MAYA KARASANTI

MODESTLY YOURS BY JEN SHARBANI