Kol Habirah - February 2017 by Jewish Link Marketing Solutions

Is it Okay to Multiple Date? Page 68

Next Issue: March 2nd

Theme: Purim

February 16, 2017 | 20 Shevat, 5777 February 17 | 21 Shevat 5777 Parshat Yitro Light Candles: 5:30 PM CANDLE LIGHTING Shabbat Ends: 6:29 PM

CONNECTING THE DC, MD, & VA JEWISH COMMUNITY

State Representatives Address Local Concerns at Maryland Jewish Advocacy Day By Kol HaBirah Staff

See ad on page 63

ANNAPOLIS (Md.) –– This year’s Maryland Jewish Advocacy

Day drew over 250 participants to Annapolis to speak with their representatives about legislation important to the Jewish commu-

on page 57 Psst... what's your status?

Call 1-800-504-3189 or visit

Published Bi-Weekly

ORGANIZATION SPOTLIGHTS

Sulam: Teaching a Child According to His or Her Way By Barbara Trainin Blank Currently housed at the Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy, Sulam is the only program of its kind in the Capital region offering support for

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 7

Check out our new coupon section

ISSUE #2

Sulam upper school students Emuna S. and Jessica W. hugging it out. (PHOTOGRAPHY BY MOSHE ZUSMAN PHOTOGRAPHY)

Inclusion Means Opportunities to Give Back to the Community, Too Many of the District 19 attendees, including Benham Dayanim, Delegate Kramer, Senator Manno, Berman students, Delegate Cullison, Jennifer Zuckerman, Ira Unger, and Fred Shapiro PHOTO CREDIT: JCRC

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 16

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Northern Virginia: Gesher Jewish Day School & Chalav Yisrael Milk

GaucherDisease.org/MyStatus

By Suzanne Pollak On Wednesdays, Melissa Sachs learns Hebrew at the Bender Jewish Community Center in Rockville, Maryland. On Thursdays, she works as a

stock associate at AC Moore, an arts and crafts store. On Fridays, she cleans bathrooms at Staples. “Mondays and Tuesdays are my relaxing days,” said Sachs.

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 9

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT At Sunflower Bakery, Cookies Can Lead to Careers for Young Adults with Learning Differences By Natasha Nadel

See ads on pg 46-47

Laurie Wexler, co-founder and executive director of Sunflower Bakery, had volunteered Thumbs Up for Friendship

ÂÂ SEE ARTICLE ON P. 11

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 10

Chaya during her Pastry Arts rotation at Café Sunflower. (PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

Shall We Wake the President?

Yosef Trumpledor: The Disabled Zionist Hero

UMD Hillel's visit to Las Vegas

Jake Turx & Kol Habirah in the White House

By David Hornestay, Page 28

By Rafael Medoff, Page 30

By Ben Bryer, Page 11

page 23

Trust, Confidentiality

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Welcome to the second issue of Highlighting Jewish Disability Awareness

SHONNY KUGLER Agent - Top 1% Nationwide

Kugler

YOUR COMMUNITY REALTOR Cell: 301-452-1801 Home Office: 301-649-3649 Office: 301-907-7600 shonnyk@aol.com Contact mе for all your Real Estate needs!

Bethesda Gateway Office 4650 East West Highway, Bethesda , MD 20814 WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ABOUT US

Kol HaBirah: Mission and Goals The mission of Kol HaBirah is to serve, connect, and strengthen the Greater Washington Jewish community. To achieve this, we will provide: 33Community Enrichment and Support Kol HaBirah will increase the visibility and utilization of our Jewish community’s businesses, organizations, programs, initiatives, and services. This will be achieved through our news and feature reporting, our robust community resources section, and advertising opportunities. 33A Community Newspaper for All Jews Kol HaBirah will foster connection through

the sharing of news, ideas and resources, traversing various geographic and ideological boundaries and strengthening the bond of community. 33Credible Reporting and Respectful, Open Dialogue Kol HaBirah is committed to factbased news reporting and providing a space for the respectful exchange of ideas on issues that matter to the broader Jewish community. 33Traditional Torah Values – Kol HaBirah proudly upholds traditional Torah values (e.g. not employing staff on Shabbat; promoting Kosher restaurants, events, and

news) and will strive to maintain these values while respecting the values of the entire Jewish community 33Support for the Unites States and Israel Kol HaBirah is committed to the safety and support of the government and citizens of the United States and Israel. We believe Kol HaBirah will further establish the Greater Washington Jewish community’s presence on the map as a leading and vibrant Jewish community in America and beyond. Thank you for your continued support, and keep reading!

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD • Alan Fisher

• Phil Jacobs

• Steven Lieberman

• Abe Zwany

An affiliate of the Jewish Link of New Jersey, Jewish Link of Bronx, Westchester & Connecticut & Queens Jewish Link

MEET THE STAFF Hillel moved from Queens, New York to join the Greater Washington community in 2014. He supported Jewish non-profits to achieve missions as consultant with Hillel Goldschein, Measuring Success, Publisher LLC, before transitioning to Pricewaterhousecoopers’s (PwC) management consulting division, where he helped his clients with organizational redesign. Before that, he completed his masters thesis in Industrial/Organizational psychology by supporting Ye-

shivat Chovevei Torah’s (YCT) pastoral counseling program. During this time, he studied in post high-school yeshiva under the tutelage of Rabbi Shaya Cohen of Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh, a division of Chofetz Chaim. Hillel is one of the founders of Young Israel Shomrai Emunah’s (YISE) 9:15 minyan, is one of the founders of Singles United Network (SUN; a group dedicated to facilitating singles setting each other up), is an associate member of Georgetown's Kesher Israel, was a fellow for Gather the Jews (now know as Gather DC), is involved with the Greater Washington Community Kollel (GWCK), and volunteers with NCSY.

Serena Kalish, Director of Marketing and Communications

Serena grew up in Great Neck, New York, and went to Yeshiva University Stern College for Women, where she majored in biochemistry. She is one of the founders of the 9:15 Minyan at Young Israel Shomrai Emunah in Kemp

Mill and remains very involved to this day. She has lived in Silver Spring, Maryland, with her husband since 2015. Serena is currently completing her Masters of Physician Assistant Studies at Shenandoah University in Winchester, Virginia. She is interested in working in Women's Health. In her rare free time, Serena enjoys baking, decorating cakes and cake pops, sewing, doing crafts and listening to music.

Kami Troy, Senior Editor

Kami grew up in Tacoma, Washington and attended Pomona College in Claremont, California, where she majored in English. She earned her Master of Public Health in epidemiology and biostatistics from George Wash-

ington University in 1997. From 1997 until now, she has held many positions and consulting jobs where her title was always “________ writer”: she has been a medical writer for the pharmaceutical/biotech product development industry, a technical writer for a healthcare finance company, a grant writer for a healthcare research institute, a technical writer at NIAID (NIH), and speechwriter for government offi-

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Bari Perlmutter grew up in Chappaqua, New York and attended the University of Maryland where she studied economics. During her final semester at Maryland, she moved to the Kemp Mill community. With the help of MEOR’s residential

program, she has been able to continuously grow in her Judaism. In the spring of 2016, she became involved in Young Israel Shomrai Emunah of Greater Washington’s 9:15 Minyan and currently serves as their treasurer. Bari enthusiastically serves as Kol HaBirah’s Managing Editor and looks forward to it’s success! During her free time, Bari goes to the gym, cooks, plans community and social events, plays the piano, and watches Terps basketball and Rangers hockey.

A transplant from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan, Rachel is a proud Akiva Hebrew Day School graduate (go Pioneers!) and attended Michlelet Orot’s Bat Tzion seminary proRachel Kohn, gram in the small Israeli town of Elkana Editor in Chief from 2002 to 2003. Controversy over coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict ignited her passion for fact-based journalism: while in seminary, she volunteered as a special correspondent for The Detroit Jewish News, reporting on life in Israel during the Second Intifada and in the shadow of the US invasion of Iraq. She followed her drive for “Truth Even Unto Its Innermost Parts” to Brandeis Univer-

sity, where she earned a degree in political science with a certificate in environmental studies, another focus in her work and writing. Rachel ran her own small business as a public relations consultant in Jerusalem, Israel before moving to Silver Spring, Maryland, in 2009 to pursue a master’s in International Media from American University. She has worked in the DC area as a communications specialist and a freelance writer and editor for the past four years. Her writing has been featured in the The Culture-ist, The Huffington Post, and The Jerusalem Post. During her theoretical free time (#singlemomlife), Rachel enjoys brushing up on her Sfat Emet, exploring Rock Creek Park with her son, and soaking in all the history and culture this amazing region has to offer.

cials. She also wrote a blog, called “Let Them Eat Honeycake,” where she talked about motherhood as an Orthodox Jewish woman. Her favorite writing, however, is her annual Rosh Hashanah let-

ter, which is not in wide release. Kami has lived in the Kemp Mill community of Silver Spring, Maryland since 2002, and currently resides there with her husband and four children, ages 10-15.

Bari Perlmutter, Managing Editor

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

INDEX / CONTRIBUTORS

ADVERTISER's INDEX Luxury Passover at Lansdowne...............................................1 Joey Franco........................................................................................1 Travel Saver.......................................................................................2 Shonny Kugler Realtor................................................................3 Sulam...................................................................................................7 Camp Kibbutz................................................................................14 Torah School.................................................................................. 15 CapitalKidz...................................................................................... 17 Chelsea Fantl ................................................................................ 18 Beth Sholom Congregation...................................................20 Yeshivat Chovevei Torah......................................................... 24 Sephardic Arabic Bridges Music for the Soul................ 26

KOL HaBirah

Five Questions with Kame..................................................... 28 Barbara Ciment Team..........................................................36-37 Guys' Nite Out............................................................................... 42 Nurture Care.................................................................................. 45 Gaucher Foundation........................................................... 46-47 Focus on Fertility........................................................................ 48 Big Chesed Needed....................................................................50 Beth Sholom Congregation Community Shabbat Dinner with Yachad................................................ 52 Shomer Shabbat Boy Scouts................................................. 54 DC Eats............................................................................................. 56 Brooklyn Sandwich Co.............................................................57

Char Bar............................................................................................57 Cafe Shawreen..............................................................................57 Nut House Pizza...........................................................................57 Simcha Sweets............................................................................. 58 Busy Bee Promotions................................................................60 Judaica Fine Art by Aitana Perlmutter......................................................................................60 Yaffa Koff Photography.............................................................61 ATARA 2017...................................................................................... 64 JCars................................................................................................... 67 Kindness Animal Hospital......................................................69 Dan Kugler's Design Center.................................................... 72

IN THIS ISSUE

Voice of the Capital

Title

Author

Page

Title

Author

Page

Friendship Circle Lives Up to Its Name

Ezra Troy

1,9

Reflections on My Experiences at Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue

Nathan Weissler

Natasha Nadel

1,10

Yitro, Mishpatim, and Disabilitiy Shabbat

Alan A. Fisher

Northern Virginia: Gesher Jewish Day School & Chalav Yisrael Milk

Kol HaBirah Staff

1,11

Lessons from Yitro: Priorities

Stephan and Meera Miller

Publisher's Note

Hillel Goldschein

Measure for Measure

Rabbi Yonatan Zakem

Maryland Students Travel to Las Vegas for Service Trip

Ben Bryer

Shabbat Shira and Hakarat HaTov

Lisi Levisohn

Berman High Schoolers Showcase Extracurricular Talents at Student Run Dinner

Zev Roberts

Principles from the Parsha: "Yitro Heard"

Joshua Z. Rokach

Girls Division of Yeshiva of Greater Washington Puts on a Show with Red

Rina Troy

A Clinical Psychologist's Tips for Creating Safe Schools

Dahlia Topolosky

Fifth-Graders Can Win Free Trees for their School in Arbor Day Poster Contest

Kol HaBirah Staff

A Key Component of Managing Parkinson's Disease: The Right Fitness Program

Justin Walls

State Representatives Address Local Concerns at Maryland Jewish Advocacy Day

Kol HaBirah Staff

1,15

Internet Addiction

Akiva Goldschein

Open Mic Night Opens Hearts

Sara Levi

Therapists are Human: The Experience of Guilt from a Therapist's Viewpoint

Jonathan Lasson

Singles as Shadchanim: Singles Uniting Network

Sara Trappler Spielman

Maintaining Balance and Equilibrium in Turbulent Times

Simeon Pollock

The Infertility Journey

Debbie Katz

Tim Howard Has Tourette's - But Tourette's Doesn't Have Him

Roey Herzfeld

Case Study: School Uses Project Based Learning to Broach Complicated Topic

Berman Hebrew Academy Staff

The Year of the Comback

Efraim Andrew Wkschlag

Lieberman Family Brings Leading Modern Orthodox Think to Beth Sholom

Sarah Antine

When Education and Athletics Converge: A Coach's Vantage Point

Brett Kugler

Beyond the Mitzvah: Open Up Your Circle of Friends

Yael Zelinger

Israeli-Style Chocolate Orange Tart

Shushy Turin

"Shabbos of Inspiration" Brings Community Together

Rabbi Yonatan Zakem

Curative Cocktails: A Little Zing for Fighting Wintertime Ills

Gamliel Kronemer

Friedman's Challenges

Eli Chomsky

YGW announces second season of "DC EATS"

Yeshiva of Greater Washington

Red, Blue, and Frum, Part II

DeDe Jacobs-Komisar

Deep Dish

Fran Kritz

Rep. Walorski Introduces Resolution Condemning PA's Actions at ICC

Zachary Leshin

This Wine Costs What?

Joshua E. London

Young Israel Invites You to Fight BDS With Mischloach Manot

Bob Levi

Keep Still and Carry On

Nancy Schreiber

Why JDAIM Shouldn't Exist

Lianne Heller

George Washington's Mount Vernon

Dina Rokach

Preparing for Disaster? Read This First

David Hornestay

Come for the Arts, Stay for Torah at ATARA

Nancy Schreiber

Jewish Orgs: Philanthropy will not be enough without Medicaid and ADA

Suzanne Pollak

The Story of "Cousin Kirk"

Larry Shor

Fighting for Israel - With One Arm

Rafael Medoff

Dear Rivkie

"Rivkie

Friendship Circle Marathon in Miami

Natasha Nadel

Job Search Nugget: Introducing Chameleon Resumes

David Marwick for KempMillJobAssist

Congregation Beth El Hosts Panel Discussion About Inclusive Employment

Kol Habirah Staff

Is it Okay to Double Date?

Rachel Burnham, "The Shadchan Next Door," and "The Single"

Hashem's Hidden Gems

Rabbi Sholom Hoffman

Rib Eye is Now Rib Eye

Aryeh Goldschein

My Safta: How Her Faltering Memory Taught Me Lessons in Life

Bari Perlmutter

Young Professionals Spotlight: Shoshannah Belzer

Batya Carl

"Good Shabbos to You!"

Deborah Scheinberg

Sulam: Teaching a Child According to His or Her Way

Barbara Trainin Blank

Inclusion Means Opportunities to Give Back to the Community, Too

Suzanne Pollak

At Sunflower Bakery, Cookies Can Lead to Careers for Disabled Teens

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

1,7,8

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

PUBLISHER'S NOTE After completing a set of weights at the gym (when I used to have time to work out) I mustered up the courage to approach the military veteran who so impressed me with his diligence at the gym, all while using a prosthetic leg. I thanked him for his service and politely asked him if he would be interested in having us publish his “story” in our next issue, especially as the theme involved Disabilities Awareness and Inclusion. He looked at me point blank and said “I don’t have a disability; I’m not the guy for your paper.” After I got over the awkward state I just put myself in, I took home a valuable lesson. Everyone has struggles, differences, and obstacles that they need to overcome. Some may be more apparent than others, but we all have our challenges and it can be hurtful, denigrating, or just plain wrong to label others by those challenges. To paraphrase Justice Richard Bernstein, the first blind Judge to be elected to the Michigan Supreme Court, who spoke eloquently at an In-

clusion Employment event run by the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington in conjunction with Congregation Beth El, don’t feel weaker or entitled because you have a specific challenge that others don’t have. “I worked 15 hour days to make sure I didn’t slow the others down," he said. Work hard, achieve what you set your sights on, and don’t make excuses. When our amazing and too hard working editorial staff mentioned the idea of a Disabilities Awareness and Inclusion theme for our second issue, I thought it was a nice idea. It’s always a good idea to have themes for the issues of ad a community newspaper and I already knew of a few organizations that were involved in this area. Little did I know how much is actually going on in this community on this topic. After mention the idea to a few organizations, we found ourselves swamped with requests for submissions to the issue. Organizations, businesses, individuals – each one had stories to share and unique experiences, programs, events and services that they would like to broadcast to the broader Jewish community. Kol HaBirah’s staff’s calendars were soon filled

to capacity and we had no choice but to turn down invitations to events and requests for submissions due to our limited bandwidth (I’ve been called out for using “limited bandwidth” too many times this week). When it is all said and done, these past two weeks have been a phenomenal learning experience for all of us. We learned about the comprehensive programming and strong dedication and energy that the Greater Washington community has towards inclusivity. We learned about the collaboration between the various organizations and the cutting edge ways in which community members are furthering their efforts on behalf of inclusiveness in all areas, including advocacy, early education, athletics, employment, hard skills, soft skills, self-esteem, fun activities, and religion. It was particularly compelling to pick up on a theme across various organizations and community members – folks with disabilities can contribute much to the community and it's time to demonstrate that. They can build sukkahs, liven up a party, improve morale amongst employees at work, provide focused dedication to

important tasks, provide students with an inclusive perspective, carry a sports team, and lend a listening ear. The model of asking the community to help them out of the goodness of their heart is becoming one of the past. As a business, organization or community member: Ask not how you can benefit them; ask how they can benefit you. Because they can and they will. To the war veteran who served our country and sacrificed your leg on our behalf, I sincerely apologize. I apologize for labeling you according to your challenge. You don’t in fact have a “story” that we should publish. You are just like the rest of us who have our various challenges and are finding ways every day to overcome them and contribute to your family, your friend, and your community. You are just like Justice Bernstein, who accomplishes what he wishes to and works hard to do so. Your challenge doesn’t dictate who you - you consciously decided who you are and easily correct others, like me, who aren’t yet aware of that decision. To paraphrase a line from Sulam students in their recent video - Please don’t limit us… because we are limitless.

THANK YOU We appreciate the overwhelming feedback we’ve received over the last two weeks from the community. The feedback was positive for the most part and when it wasn’t it, was almost always constructive. From a positive standpoint, what has been gratifying and frustrating is the number of people who were surprised at how “large” and content heavy the last issue was. Many people I spoke to about it at length prior thought it would be more like a newsletter and that there would be perhaps a few articles and ads. I marvel at my inability to vividly share the vision with others, combined with perhaps a bit of preconceived notions about such an idea in this side of town. Besides it being a good deal larg-

er than expected, folks were impressed that we included such a broad spectrum of the Jewish (orthodox) community and that our content was nuanced, diverse, and expansive. As for the constructive feedback, we were told that we needed to make the paper more visual by adding “pull quotes” and enlarged, high quality photos. In addition, we were asked to make more of an effort to include a broader spectrum of the Jewish community and to expand our geographic reach to Northern Virginia and Baltimore. We were told by some that we were too “right leaning” and by others that we were too “left leaning” (I say “were” as opposed to “are” as we are constantly evolving and it would be a

mistake to define us based one issue). We were asked to drop off fewer copies in some locations and more copies in other locations, and in two instances, to stop dropping it off altogether. Lastly, but not comprehensively, we received complaints from a few rabbis that people were taking the copies into shul and we kindly ask our readers to avoid bringing Kol HaBirah into shul (unless you do a better job of hiding it). Thank you to this issue’s advertisers who are helping us maintain Kol HaBirah. We strongly encourage our readers to utilize their products, programs and services so that we can continue to provide this for you on a bi-weekly basis. Despite growing costs due to a larger issue

and an increase in staff, the percentage of costs accounted for by advertising revenue increased from our previous issue by 16% from 49%-65% (short of our 75% goal however). We thank them for believing that their investment with us will help their bottom line and we look to our readership to help them realize that. Lastly, a special thank you to the many helpful members of the community who have been actively supporting us behind the scenes by offering to lend a hand on various tasks, connecting us with advertisers, and providing sage and important counsel . It’s gratifying to have such support and we sincerely appreciate your taking the time out of your busy schedules to help us.

FEEDBACK I think you did a great job. It is very impressive that you conceived of this and created something out of nothing coordinating all the ‘moving parts’ and coming up with a tangible end product. The fact that it is a tremendous service to the community is icing on the cake. Really-be’ hatzlacha! I hope you see sustained interest and growth. I’m looking forward to your next issue! –Sarena Mayer I’m impressed that you had 64 pages in the first issue! I don’t see how you’ll be able to match that in two weeks though. –Half of the community I read Kol Habirah cover to cover last night and it really enjoyed it (well not all the really long articles but the interesting ones about dating advice, Abie and food :) It included a good cross section of the Greater Washington community and

had great layout and presentation. I am looking forward to the second issue! –Elana Garfield Get rid of the Abie article. It’s condescending and inappropriate –Anonymous I read your paper - I really liked the Selma article! –Devon, staff member at Shomrai Emunah I got stuck with two people who tried to set me up during today’s kiddish… I should have used your dating advice. –Anonymous I enjoyed reading the first issue. Looks to me like some of the content is quite a bit to the right of me. –Anonymous A number of folks were concerned

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

about some of the topics and ideas in the paper. We are not sure we can we want it dropped off here anymore. Thanks! –Anonymous Very nice paper. It was so nice how you included so many different demographics, both old and young, within all the Greater Washington Jewish communities. Bezras Hashem you should have a lot of hatzlacha! –Nechemia Monn Ps I got a copy and it’s awesome. I’m so impressed that just you and a few people were able to roll out such a huge professional operation. For real. –Anonymous An impressive inaugural issue! Comprehensive, informative, diverse coverage, well written. Sets the bar high for future issues. If you are the secret columnist for

“Advice-Dating” this is a potential weak spot. Keep publishing & be certain to allow others to proof read. By the way---to what extent does the paper target reformed congregations? Buddy –The professor Grandpa and I got the issue. You’re an enterprising young man, I’m so proud of you! What’s your address? I’m going to send you a fat check! –Grandma Goldschein That was a great first issue. I have an idea for you, are you listening? Build it up a bit and after a few issues, sell it for $5M. –Grandpa (Dr.) Goldschein You have a lovely disposition. That’s a nice quality for a newspaper man –Anonymous

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

ORGANIZATION SPOTLIGHT Sulam: Teaching a Child According to His or Her Way ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 1 students with mild-to-moderate learning disabilities as well as students with language-based disabilities and social and emotional challenges. Through highly individualized educational programs, Sulam fulfills its vision to ensure that a high-quality education is available to all Jewish children K-12 in the Greater Washington area, irrespective of their learning differences.

Shearim students Elana O. and Tehilla K. are close friends.

Sulam also offers a program known as Shearim (Hebrew for “gateways”), which focuses on the development of life skills, job coaching, healthy living and community engagement. Shearim serves students with developmental or intellectual disabilities. “Sulam offers a unique combination of inclusion in general education classes and targeted instruction, helping to ensure maximum learning potential,” said Lianne Heller, Sulam’s visionary director. “Students work with a team of special educators and instructional assistants, who collaborate to ensure student progress.” Like their peers not in the program, Sulam students graduate from Berman with a high-school diploma and continue on to two- and four-year colleges. Many participate in gap year programs before college. Shearim students receive a certificate of completion and continue in their pursuit of community living and learning. Beyond the educational component, Sulam helps students realize that “It’s okay to have challenges and to talk about them. We teach our students to self-advocate,” said Heller. “Often, students with learning difficulties are put in separate, self-contained classrooms,” said Heller. “But research indicates that inclusion is much better for the students; they gain enriched learning and social engagement, and learn to function in a world of diverse learners. It’s much better for them educationally and socially.”

Other Berman students also learn a valuable lesson: that everyone is of equal value, despite their challenges. Most students at Sulam have a compelling story of a struggle to success. “I’ve been here since middle school,” says Avraham G., now in his senior year. “It has felt slow at times, but now, looking back I see the progress I have made. I’ve learned how to learn.” Avraham is a member of the Berman Beats, a Berman Hebrew Academy a cappella group, as well as a member of the Berman Hebrew Academy baseball team. “I’m included at the school, and I have had good bonding experiences with my classmates,” he says. Emuna S. travels from Baltimore every day to attend Sulam at Berman Hebrew Academy. “It’s well worth it,” she said of the commute. A bubbly and charismatic young lady, Emunah had attended a number of schools before finding success at Sulam. “I have dyslexia and had a lot of trouble reading and writing. The teachers at Sulam help me create a system to learn,” she said. “Sometimes my teachers even call the night before a test and offer to help me study. Everyone is so accommodating and invested in my success.” Emuna’s mother, Dee-Dee, explained that the family was looking for a program that would match her daughter’s ability to learn with the support she needed. “Sulam fit the bill. They really get her there, and push for her involvement socially and in extracurricular ac-

sulam

Sulam Upper School students Avraham G. and Zack F. play on the Berman Cougars baseball team. (PHOTOGRAPHY BY MOSHE ZUSMAN PHOTOGRAPHY)

tivities as well. Emuna wants to be challenged; she just needs a little support,” said Dee-Dee. Zack F. started attending Sulam in 9th grade. At first he needed academic support from Sulam educators to succeed in his classes, but in 11th grade Zack is now achieving independent learning in most of his classes. Zack is on both the basketball and baseball teams at Berman Hebrew Academy. “I’m just like everyone else. I don’t feel different”.

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 8

Unlimited Learning.

Join us at the

Sulam Bov,l-a-Thon Sunday , March 19th @ 7:30PM Bowlmor Bethesda 5353 Westbard Ave, Bethesda MD

Compete to be crowned the Sulam Bowling Champion! Support Sulam in it's mission to enable students with learning differences to access an inclusive education. Register your team of four bowlers at:

www.sulam.org/events LIMITED SPACE AVAILABLE - DON'T MISS OUT! Corporate Sponsorships Available. Buffet Dinner Included. Contact Ahuva Orlofsky with any questions aorlofsky@sulam.org or 301-962-9400 Ext 5274 WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ORGANIZATION SPOTLIGHT Sulam: Teaching a Child According to His or Her Way ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 7 In the Shearim program, a Life Skills track, students receive individualized instruction to meet their specific personal needs and educational requirements both academically and in terms of their functional life goals. “The program serves students with developmental or intellectual disabilities,” said Heller. “Students in Shearim are integrated into many general studies classes at Berman throughout the day, while also receiving functional math, English, reading, Judaic, and other life skills classes. Shearim upper school students participate in an internship program where they learn skills such as communication, responsibility, problem solving and independence. Students also learn self-confidence and receive feedback that they are valued and have important contributions to make as members of the greater community. Max D. started in Shearim in 8th grade and is now in his senior year. “I can concentrate more now and pay attention,” Max said. “I’ve also worked at Shalom’s Kosher Supermarket and Moti’s Markets, and I take the Metro for travel training. All this is meant to take me out of my comfort zone and learn more.”

Shearim upper school students Max D., Adam K., and Tehilla B., selling muffins at their monthly muffin sale.

A particularly exciting activity for Shearim upper school students is their development of a Muffin business. Together the students and their teacher, Sabina Radin, devised a business plan that includes baking muffins, marketing and selling their product, and reinvesting in the business. “The students also give a percentage of their sales to charity - a great practical application of their To-

rah learning,” explained Heller. As with all special education programs, the cost of educating a student at Sulam is high. “Every student is on scholarship, even those who pay the full tuition,” said Heller. “We don’t charge any family the full cost to Sulam.” Sulam fundraises to meet the budget requirements for running such an intensive special education program. “It is im-

portant that the community step in to help our community children and their families,” said Heller. “Sulam is a community service, and as such the financial responsibility should be a shared by all: families, schools, and community.” Sulam has revamped its branding strategy since Ahuva Orlofsky joined as Director of Marketing, giving the brand a fun and hip appeal that people want to be a part of and support, including some of the coolest yarmulkes to hit the Jewish world (they can be seen on many heads in the Greater Washington Jewish Community). In addition, in keeping with their brand, Sulam has arranged a few “fun”-raising events, including an upcoming Bowl-a-Thon on Sunday March 19th, which is already attracting a broad section of the Jewish community who would like to showcase their skills in a competitive and fun environment. To seek admission for a child or to make a donation, call 301-962-9400, ext. 5523, or check out the Sulam website at www.sulam.org. Admissions close on April 30th of the preceding school year to which you are applying.

Where can I pickup the paper? MARYLAND

Silver Spring

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah, Kemp Mill Synagogue, Ohr Hatorah, Silver Spring Jewish Center, Chabad of Silver Spring, Minchas Yitzchok, Yeshiva of Greater Washington Boys Division, The Torah School of Greater Washington , Shalom Kosher, Max’s Café and Catering, Ben Yehuda Pizza, Kosher Pastry Oven, The Candy Man, Kemp Mill Dry Cleaners, Nuthouse Pizza, Goldberg’s New York Bagels, University Towers, Warwick, Kemp Mill CapitalOne

Potomac Beth Sholom, Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac, Chabad of Potomac, Goldberg’s NY Bagels

College Park

UMD Hillel, Chabad UMD, UMD Meor

Olney

North Bethesda/Rockville

COMING SOON

Annapolis

Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy, SULAM, Bender JCC of Greater Washington, Aish Hatorah, Magen David Sephardic Congregation, Café Shawreen, Al Ha’esh, Moti’s Market,

Congregation Kneseth Israel

Upper Montgomery County Chabad Lubavitch Upper Montgomery County

Bethesda

Baltimore

Am Hatorah, Chabad of Bethesda

COMING SOON

WASHINGTON DC Ohev Sholom – The National Synagogue, Jewish Primary Day School, Kesher Israel, American Friends of Lubavitch (Chabad), Char Bar,

NORTHERN VIRGINIA Chabad Lubavitch of Northern Virginia, Gesher Jewish Day School

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

ORGANIZATION SPOTLIGHT Inclusion Means Opportunities to Give Back to the Community, Too ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 1 The 38-year-old is a resident of one of the 25 homes available for individuals with developmental, physical or mental disabilities in the Greater Washington area through the Jewish Foundation for Group Homes (JFGH). Thanks to JFGH, Sachs has been able to carve out a life for herself that is more social and less dependent on her family. The nonprofit organization, which was created in 1983, helps adults who have developmental, physical or mental disabilities become more independent and an integrated part of the community. JFGH has 22 homes in Maryland and three in Northern Virginia, as well as more than 50 apartments. Besides its 160 residents, JFGH serves another 40 people in transitional and social programs. It employs 275 people, of which 240 work directly with residents. Sachs has a boyfriend who lives in another JFGH home. In her room, which she calls “my little hide-out place,” she crochets and listens to music. She also plays basketball and is the president of JFGH’s resident council, where she helps find activities for her fellow-residents that are both nearby and wheelchair-accessible.

Cutting challah at Washington Hebrew Congregation in DC. (PHOTO COURTESY OF JFGH)

In the Rockville home she shares with five other residents, who range in age from 36 to 55 years old, Sachs helps with the cleaning and makes dinner once a week, usually lasagna or tuna casserole. On the weekends, residents from many of the homes get together to attend a concert or community or synagogue event. Anique Lewis-Royce, the lead direct support for this home, is one of seven staff members who man the home 24 hours a day. When the residents are out at their jobs during the day, Lewis-Royce handles the paper work and necessary documents. While they are home, she is there to assist, “making sure they are able to complete their goals,” she said. “This is a high-function house,” Lewis-Royce said. All residents go to a job or special program during the day. “They are all independent. We are here to help them with right from wrong things to do.” Other JFGH homes are home to residents with a variety of function levels. One in Rockville is home to only hearing-impaired residents and staff.

JFGH resident Melissa (in pink shirt) surrounded by Tzofim (Israeli Scouts) on Sukkot. (PHOTO COURTESY OF JFGH)

Lewis-Royce has been working at the home where Sachs lives for the past seven years and has grown very attached to her charges. “We have a great relationship. It’s more of a family here,” she said. Sachs agreed, calling Lewis-Royce “the best.” Besides its residential program, JFGH helps men and women who have physical, mental or developmental disabilities and are older than 18 years in other ways. Its Sally and Robert Goldberg Maryland Meaningful Opportunities for Successful Transition Program (MOST) is a one-year transitional program for individuals with disabilities who are too old for public school programs. In a work setting, participants learn to model behavior and feel part of a group while those who work with them learn to grow comfortable working around people who are different. The aim of MOST, which started in 2008 in Montgomery County and in 2011 in Fairfax County, is to enable people with disabilities who are over 21 years old–– under federal law, special education students are entitled to a public-school education until they are 21–– to maintain and build on the skills they learned while attending school. Besides their jobs, MOST participants learn to manage their money, cook a meal and use public transportation. They also grow socially. Participants work on art projects, go bowling and visit museums together. JFGH strives to help their clients live life to the fullest. Recently, it has turned its focus somewhat to enable its residents to help others.

It’s not that the residents of the Jewish Foundation for Group Homes aren’t grateful. They really love when people come by to celebrate Shabbat and bring delicious food, or invite them to a program at their synagogue. But JFGH residents are getting a little tired of only being on the receiving end. They want to give back. They want to be a regular part of the Jewish community, attending and participating in lots of programs. “We are perceived as recipients of charity,” said Lew Fontek, JFGH’s chief development officer. However, he said, “it’s just not about receiving. It’s about giving too.” Fontek really wants people from a wide variety of Jewish organizations to call and invite residents to participate in their programs. “We’ve had a tremendous relationship with the Jewish community, but there’s a need for more structure,” he said. He would love for JFGH to become a visible part of the community on a regular, continued basis. The Jewish community welcomes people with disabilities from time to time, he said. It’s time to turn the tables. “We are refocusing our efforts by saying we could provide a lot for you.” If a synagogue is having a social action event that involves making care packages, JFGH residents hope that synagogue members won’t just create them and then drop them off at a nearby home. Instead, they should invite the residents to work side by side on the packages, and then bring them along when everything is delivered to a food pantry or homeless shelter.

JFGH residents dancing at an event at B'nai Israel Congregation of Rockville, Maryland. (PHOTO COURTESY OF JFGH)

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Let them be part of the mitzvah, Fontek said, and let them have that same feeling of giving to those less fortunate. “We have a relationship with almost every synagogue in some way,” he said. It’s high time to “bolster these relationships.” If a synagogue is planning a musical event, invite JFGH residents, who will “bring the party,” Fontek said. “We will sing. We will dance. We will make the party better,” he promised, noting residents are usually the first to get up and dance. Residents also would like to be party sponsors. Why not hold a Purim party at one of JFGH’s homes? “Come back and celebrate with us,” he said, adding that the homes have kitchens. Don’t just invite people with disabilities into your sukkah, Fontek said. Let them help build or take it down. He noted how great it would be for JFGH residents to work together, say blessings together and eat together as full members of the Jewish community. “We want the community to stop looking for ways to help us and look for more ways to include us. Work with us, not for us,” Fontek said.

JFGH resident lighting the menorah on Chanukah. (PHOTO COURTESY OF JFGH)

The residents also are interested in sharing ritual. They can participate in a Shabbat service, read a prayer, lead a song, he noted. It’s great that some synagogues offer free seats for High Holiday services, but it would be even better if the residents could be included in the service. Another idea to show residents they are a part of the community would be to visit them for a game night, he said. JFGH also welcomes “rewarming showers” for some of the residences that were opened 30 years ago and whose supplies are aging. “There are so many options out there” to make JFGH residents feel welcome, Fontek said. “Let’s make it happen.” For information or to schedule an event, contact Francine Triola, development and volunteer coordinator, at 240283-6009. Suzanne Pollak is the senior writer/editor at Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington. She was a reporter at The Courier Post in New Jersey and The Washington Jewish Week, and she now writes for The Montgomery Sentinel.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT At Sunflower Bakery, Cookies Can Lead to Careers for Young Adults with Learning Differences ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 1 with teens with learning disabilities, teaching them filing and other office skills. Once they reach 18, she wondered, what opportunities are out there for them? At the same time, she jokes, she was hungry for a kosher nosh (snack) closer to her Potomac home. Several years later, these thoughts converged and the idea for the Sunflower Bakery program was born. When Wexler ran into Sara Portman Milner, she had an “aha moment.” This is the perfect person to talk to, she thought: a licensed clinical social worker, Milner was a champion of inclusion and had developed and implemented the special needs programs at the Bender Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington for 34 years. “It was a great idea to match up kids with cognitive disabilities who need structure, routine and regimen with baking, which is all about structure, routine and regimen,” said Milner, Sunflower Bakery co-founder and director of student services.

Chef Adrienne working with Sunflower graduate Olivia. (PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

Created as a non-profit organization, Sunflower Bakery gives people with disabilities the opportunity to be competitive in the general workforce rather than be trained to work in a bakery that only employs people with disabilities. “It’s a really important value for people with disabilities to have opportunities to be the best they can be,” said Milner, “and be more like other people rather than different from them.” Sunflower Bakery’s products are available through individual online orders, by phone, at Café Sunflower, and through a subscription service called “Sweets of the Month.” There are numerous pick-up points throughout metro DC. Most are synagogues or schools, which receive five percent of the sales made through them– – a win-win for both. Sunflower Bakery’s first pilot program with Jewish Foundation for Group Homes (JFGH) residents took place over 2009–2010, using the Beth Sholom and Talmud Torah kitchen in Potomac two afternoons a week. In February 2010, the bakery moved to its current location in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Since the pilot program, Sunflower Bakery has provided more than 42,000 hours of training and served more than 165 young adults and teens through their employment training and summer programs.

Learning to roll dough and cut sunflower shapes.

Preparing cupcake decorations.

(PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

Sunflower Bakery includes several initiatives: the Pastry Arts Employment Training Program, Café Sunflower Employment Training Program, Summer Teen Experience, and Sunflower Seeds Bnei Mitzvah Program.

tomac 18 Caterers and others, “We stay involved, especially for the first three months, making sure it is a good match,” said Wexler. Liz Hutter, employment services director and former executive pastry chef, created the formal curriculum for the Pastry Arts Program. Compass, a pro bono consulting service, is currently studying the feasibility of packaging the curriculum and other aspects of the training program for replication in other communities. Wexler said their program is unique. Currently, 53 percent of income is generated from sales with a small amount from program fees. The other 47 percent represents donations from individuals, foundations and corporations along with a grant from Montgomery County. Fundraising is critical because more than half of each day is devoted to training and supervision of our students.. In the middle of his third day in the pastry arts program, Sam Barry, 27, said he has already learned to fold batter, crack eggs and use a sifter. “It’s a good thing in life when you’re learning things,” said Barry. “That’s always a good sign of progress. It takes some stamina to spend all the time that we do on baking… the chefs are respecting you by giving you their guidance, even though it seems they’re very strict. The stricter they are on you, the more respect they’re showing you for your potential.”

Brian, Café barista par excellence.

Pastry Arts Employment Training Program The heart of Sunflower Bakery is their Pastry Arts Employment Training Program, which provides the hard skills involved with pastry arts and the important soft skills of food safety and how to be a good employee. After 10 weeks of this training, students move on to a 16week, 20- hours-week, paid in-house internship at the bakery. Part of that internship is spending 15 hours at Café Sunflower so they can add “front of house” and customer service experience to their job skills. As of May 2016, 46 students have graduated the Pastry Arts Employment Training Program and another 10 students will graduate this June. This year, 85% or more of graduates have been employed. On a recent weekday afternoon, Marion Pitcher, Sunflower Bakery’s pastry arts director, showed a student how to use a baking scale, helping him to get the measurement just right. Like everyone who works for Sunflower Bakery, Pitcher exudes patience and kindness. She said that seeing the step-by-step growth in the students puts a smile on her face. “A lot of the students don’t even think they can do it, but from the moment they step in here and see what they can achieve, you can see the difference in their step and how they walk. They feel good about themselves. The program makes that possible,” she said.

Sunflower's hamentashen factory. (PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

“It lifts them up when I say, ‘You can do it,’” she added. The pastry arts program accepts one to two new students per month, on a rolling basis, and takes up to 20 students per year. Beginning this year, Sunflower is directly assisting their students in seeking employment by creating partnerships with local food-related businesses, including Stella’s Bakery, Hot Breads & Cakes, Clyde’s, Founding Farmers, Po-

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Café Sunflower Employment Training Program Although students in the Pastry Arts Program spend 15 hours learning customer service skills in the Café, there are other students who chose the nine-month Café Sunflower Training Program. “There are many people who love being around food but don’t have the skills to bake as far as the fine motor coordination or the stamina,” said Milner. “If someone doesn’t have that then the Café is another option for them.” When Sunflower Bakery found out that Jewish Federation of Greater Washington was moving, they collaborated with the Federation and JFGH to open Café Sunflower in Spring 2015 at the new headquarters in Rockville. Besides training students in customer service, point of sale and barista skills, the other goal of Café Sunflower is for people in the community to get to know people with disabilities. “Our students know their customers and their orders.” said Milner. Customers get to know the students/employees as people, not just as individuals with disabilities. “So everybody there plays an important role, they

(PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

all learn from each other, and they all have something to contribute,” she said. Daphna Raskas, a past president of Berman Hebrew Academy, joined Sunflower Bakery’s board six years ago and is now president. With her background, she was able to help with strategic planning and write a business plan. The next step is to formalize the curriculum for the Café, just like the bakery program. “We have a new café manager. You really want someone who’s got the café management part but is also happy to do the training piece and he’s great,” said Raskas. “I like watching him just because he’s so patient. He’s very calming.” According to the new manager, Joey Nowicki, customers often come in with no idea that the Café is a non-profit or different from other coffee shops. “Café Sunflower is unique in that customers are not using their smartphones while they wait,” he says. “Instead, they are interacting with the employees in a meaningful way.” “People who come in truly get a coffee break,” he said. Several high school teachers have brought students with disabilities to the Café, including a group managing a café in their high school. Nowicki enjoys introducing Café employees to the teens and hopes it motivates both students and teachers to see just how much these students can do in the future. He also hopes some of the students will apply to the Café training program. “A lot of these guys have been sheltered, not really exposed to people outside of their immediate family or their school, so having interaction with the larger community is learning life skills,” said Nowicki.

Summer Teen Experience Sunflower Bakery offers three oneweek summer baking classes for ages 14 to 18 geared toward teens across a spectrum of learning disabilities, ADHD, high-functioning autism and Asperger Syndrome. After Elias Tsakiris told his mom that he wanted to work at a bakery, she found the Summer Teen Experience. He attended two years in a row. Now 20 years old, Tsakiris is in the middle of the first 10week phase of the Pastry Arts Program. Feivel Cohen, 20, is quite the Sunflower Bakery alum. He is a former Café employee, participated in the Summer Teen Experience, and spoke to teens at Capital Camps in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania. From among several non-profits

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 14

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Northern Virginia: Gesher Jewish Day School & Chalav Yisrael Milk ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 1 By Kol HaBirah Staff Did you know that Northern Virginia has an expansive Jewish community with over 90,000 Jews? On a trip to Fairfax, one could get more exposure to Jewish life than in New York! Gesher Jewish Day School was the first stop on my trip, and the experience made me wish I was in school again (which isn’t supposed to happen). Director of Development Jennifer Scher gave me the grand tour, which included separate wings for the elementary school and middle school. Built 10 years ago after the school moved from the Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia (JCCNV), the building has many windows to allow in natural light; in some instances, it feels like you are in a greenhouse. The student body of 150 children is the product of dedicated expansion efforts over the years, and there is room for many more students. In fact, this particular day was “Bring a Friend to School Day,” part of a drive to increase awareness of the school’s offerings for those families currently attending local public schools. Perhaps the unusually warm weather helped, but the atmosphere felt very relaxing and vacation-like. We passed an art and music facility, STEM lab, gym and a line of boots dedicated for the children’s use when they go outdoors for various activities. Outdoor tefillah (prayer) activities are common, and the gigantic out-

door grounds include top-notch fields for soccer and softball. Gesher competes in sports leagues and hosts many games for children and adults, said Jennifer. As we walked around, we observed various students learning, playing and socializing. It was particularly compelling to pass one class where the students were out of their seats focusing on various tasks, including a few sitting on the floor dedicating deep concentration to their activities. Jennifer explained that, at Gesher, they believe in experiential education and that sitting in a seat all day is outdated (I again wondered why I grew up in the wrong decade). She also mentioned that Gesher will be participating in the B’yadenu Project, a program spearheaded by The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington and the Boston-area organization Gateways to provide excellent Jewish day school education to all types of learners. The Student Services department at Gesher has been expanding over the past two years under the leadership of the new Head of School, Dan Finkel. "The B’yadenu program will take these efforts to the next level", said Jennifer. I left the school feeling relaxed and well educated, without even having to take any tests! The next stops were Wegman’s, Shoppers and Trader Joe’s, all within a few miles of each other. Each had a large selection of kosher food. Wegman’s had items that you would see in any kosher supermarket, such as rugelach, Zomick’s baked goods, Empire chicken and even a kosher takeout counter (however, there is no mashgiach, or kosher supervisor, as of yet). They even had a nice selection of kosher wine, which I was told expands

(along with the kosher food selection) prior to Pesach. To my surprise, Shoppers had chalav Yisrael milk and kosher beef! Clearly there is enough of a demand for substantial kosher food here. I stopped in briefly at the Chabad of Fairfax, which includes a pre-school and after-school program, and visited Mandy Book, whose kids have attended Gesher and the Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy in Rockville, Maryland. She attends the Chabad of Fairfax on Shabbat and described a very close-knit community. They are close friends and share simchas (happy occasions) with members of Congregation Olam Tikvah, a conservative synagogue that is within walking distance.

A few years ago, there was a push to build an eruv in Fairfax, but that stalled due to a lack of funding and other resources. With broader community support for such an initiative, they feel there could be more success. Jennifer feels that many people don’t understand the Northern Virginia Jewish community. There is in fact significant Jewish infrastructure here, and as the community grows there is potentially room for a Modern Orthodox synagogue. From the little that I was able to visit in one day, I was indeed surprised, and I headed home with my chalav Yisrael milk, wondering if my roommates would believe me that I purchased it in Virginia.

Get caught wearing purple every Friday!

Working their science magic!

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY

NEWS

Maryland Hillel Students Travel to Las Vegas for Service Trip By Ben Bryer My name is Ben Bryer and I am currently a sophomore majoring in public health at University of Maryland. This past winter vacation, I had the pleasure of leading a Maryland Hillel Alternative Break trip with my partner Jessie Cohen. Along with 10 other students and a staff member, we traveled to Las Vegas to learn about the education system in the city, home to one of the poorest-performing school districts in the entire country. It was a truly incredible experience to plan, organize and orchestrate a trip and see it all come to life. The week was packed with meetings with a range of speakers from the district superintendent, to school principals, local reporters, community organizers and more. We had a smooth group dynamic where people were not afraid to speak up, ask questions and participate in each activity we had. We had no major issues during the trip, and everyone left feeling refreshed and knowledgeable from their week in Las Vegas. We could have gone through the motions, done what was expected of us and come out feeling like we had made a difference. Our group, on the other hand, wanted to do something different. When I first found out I was leading a social justice/community service trip to Las Vegas, I was a little hesitant and skeptical. I was hoping to lead a trip to an urban environment and learn about racial issues, or to a Native American reservation and gain a deep understanding of

the institutional racism and destructive policies that have shaped this country. What were we going to do in Sin City? What would we learn in a mirage of a city in the middle of the dessert where people leave their secrets because, hey, what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. The more research I did, the more phone calls I made and emails I sent, the more I learned about the disaster of education within the city. Just last year, Nevada was ranked the lowest performing state in the country due to its failing education system. The more I read, the more I imagined the potential impact of our trip. Throughout the week, we volunteered at a low-performing public charter K-8 school, helping out in the classrooms and forming relationships with the students and teachers. My biggest worry going into this trip was feeling like we were the “white saviors.” As a group of 13 white Jewish students going into a predominantly African-American and Latino school, the motivation and purpose of our trip could be easily distorted. I was pleasantly surprised to see how warmly we were welcomed by everyone at the school, from the administration all the way down to the kindergarten kids. On Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, we showed up in the morning and were placed in various classrooms to help out with whatever the teachers needed. Some participants in the group really enjoyed the experience, whereas some felt that they were distractions in the classrooms and were taking away from the students’ learning.

Front Row (L-R): Ben Bryer, Jessie Cohen, Talia Orencel. Middle Row (L-R): Sam Lippman, Shana Katz, Alyssa Marshak. Back Row (L-R): Aliza Silverman, Avi Kozlowski, Emily Kader, Mayan Beroukhim, Craig Wasserman, Sari Dorn, Jess Koenigsberg

As a group, we felt that we needed to do something more on Friday morning – our last day at the school– instead of “simply” helping out in the classrooms. We had discussed at length throughout the week about the pros and cons of a community service trip, and how we could maximize our impact in the short amount of time that we had. We created an activity where we split into pairs and stationed ourselves at tables in the cafeteria. Groups of middle school students cycled into the cafeteria and rotated around the stations we had set up to learn about our experiences as college students. Each table had a different topic such as academics, sports and student groups. This activity gave us an opportunity to have personal conversations with

the students and hear about their experiences, dreams and aspirations. It was also a way for us to answer any questions the students had about college life, since many of them do not have people close to their age who they can ask about higher education. It was an extremely successful activity, and each pair raved about the conversations they had with the students. I truly believe that the conversations we had on Friday were the most effective way to make a real impact on the students in the time we had. In a few weeks or months’ time, most of the students will forget our names and faces, but if we were able to answer one question about college or get one student excited to continue his/her education, then we were successful in making a difference.

(L-R) Mayan Beroukhim, Emily Kader, Craig Wasserman, Avi Kozlowski, Aliza Silverman, Alyssa Marshak, Talia Orencel, Ben Bryer, Sam Lippman, Shana Katz, Jessie Cohen, Sari Dorn, Jess Koenigsberg

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY NEWS

Berman High Schoolers Showcase Extracurricular Talents at Student Run Dinner By Zev Roberts Upper school students at the Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy organized and hosted a fundraising dinner February 5 to benefit extra-curricular activities for the school. Students spent countless hours planning the event and worked hard all day Sunday cooking and waiting tables. The event raised an estimated $14,000. Throughout the night, students creatively exhibited the various activities that Berman offers. As 150 parents, teachers and friends made their way to the cafeteria, they were treated to student artwork and photography as hors d’oeuvres–– breaded chicken fingers and mini hotdogs–– were passed around. After a brief welcome by the student chair of the event, senior Alia Turitz, student waiters took orders, offering a choice of pulled chicken or beef barbeque burgers or a vegetarian option of roasted vegetable skewers. Guests then watched a brief dramatic arts performance and a humorous skit by the mock trial team.

Student Chair Alia Turitz (12th grade) welcoming the dinner guests. CREDIT: ABBIE SALAMON

After working hard since noon, the student-staffed kitchen produced and served tasty entrees with sides of mashed potatoes, green beans and coleslaw. Victoria Plaza, a high school English teacher at Berman, described the food overall as “excellent” and thought the mashed potatoes were “truly phenomenal.” While patrons enjoyed their meals, five students sang a harmonic rendition of “Go the Distance” from the Hercules soundtrack. A model United Nations team presentation, dessert and closing remarks completed the evening.

"A little goofing off before the start of the dinner didn't hurt," says Mia Raskin, 10th grade. Pictured: Ethan Lazarus, 12th grade; Mia Raskin; Zack Fogel, 11th grade; Rabbi Frances, staff; Josh Levieddin, 11th grade; Nadiv Turitz, 10th grade; and Ayden Stone, 10th grade. CREDIT: ABBIE SALAMON

The evening was “professionally run” and there was “better service than any fancy restaurant,” Plaza said. She loved the idea of students serving their teachers and parents because it makes the “relationship more reciprocal.” In the end, all the students’ hard work paid off.

As Turitz put it: “[The evening] was a success, and when it’s a success, you feel incredibly accomplished.” Zev Roberts is a junior and an editor in chief of the Berman Hebrew Academy student newspaper.

Third-year art/painting student Coby Melkin, 11th grade, displays one of his completed pieces for dinner attendees.

Last picture of salad preparation before these four waiters go to work. From left: Ellie Guberman, 10th grade; Adielle Tuchman, 9th grade; Lili Panich, 10th grade; Mia Raskin, 10th grade.

Quick huddle before the Mock Trial team puts on a humorous skit. Pictured: Lea Herzfeld, 12th grade; Maya Goldberg, 10th grade; Tamar Janus, 12th grade; Elie Lowenstein, 9th grade; Ruthie Vogel, 10th grade; and Avital Fink, 10th grade.

CREDIT: ABBIE SALAMON

Girls Division of Yeshiva of Greater Washington Puts on a Show with Red By Rina Troy This year, on Sunday February 12 and Monday February 13, the Yeshiva of Greater Washington-Tiferes Gedaliah Girls Division put on an amazing production. It was called “Red” and was the story of Red Riding Hood with several other fairytale characters compiled into it. The girls worked so hard and each girl used her best talent to put on a terrific show. Some girls sang, some girls danced, some did gymnastics and of course girls acted. Some girls also helped backstage with scenery, props, costumes, business, tech and more. How did they get the idea to do Red Riding Hood? “In eighth grade, my class was trying to decide what we wanted to

do for our production,” said Orly Baras, a junior at the Yeshiva of Greater Washington and co-writer of the script. “Someone suggested Red Riding Hood and we were thinking about it and we realized, hey, wait, we can work with that. We could come up with something original based off of that idea and make it our own play.” “Seeing it on the stage in just two hours, everything compiled, it was a really cool experience,” said Rachel Herman, junior at the Yeshiva of Greater Washington and co-writer of the script. The girls worked long and hard at this and put their all into it. They practiced so hard and knew everything they needed to know so well.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

“The girls have really owned every aspect of production and it’s amazing to see,” said Mrs. Aliza Hollander, guidance counselor at the Yeshiva of Greater Washington Girls Division. “In the Yeshiva of Greater Washington, we believe that activities like production are not extracurricular, rather they allow our curriculum to come to life,” said Mrs. Sara Malka Winter, faculty director of production and teacher at YGW, “We are so very proud of our students.” Rina Troy is a sixth-grader at Torah School of Greater Washington. She is very excited to be a part of production when she is in the Yeshiva next year.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY NEWS

Jewish Community Gathers for Havdalah in Support of Refugees By Kol HaBirah Staff WASHINGTON–– More than 600 people attended a special havdalah service organized by HIAS and the Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) of Greater Washington last weekend, demonstrating the powerful Jewish communal support for welcoming refugees. The February 11 event, hosted well after the end of Shabbat by Washington Hebrew Congregation, kicked off a series of 20 events across the country for

the National Day of Jewish Action for Refugees. Led by HIAS, a global Jewish nonprofit that advocates for refugees, the event included a traditional Havdalah service, speakers, readings, and music. Havdalah’s theme of separating the darkness from the light was a thoughtful tie-in to the role of Jewish values and the Jewish experience in influencing responses to the current refugee crisis. “The Jewish community’s experience as refugees prompts us to help refugees

HIAS President and CEO Mark Hetfield speaks about the refugee crisis. COURTESY OF HIAS

Oula Alrifai, an asylee from Syria, speaks. COURTESY OF HIAS

today–– not because they are Jewish, but because we are,” said Mark Hetfield, president and CEO of HIAS. Additional speakers included Guila Franklin Siegel, associate director of the JCRC of Greater Washington; Rabbi Aaron Alexander of Adas Israel Congregation; Maharat Ruth Balinksy Friedman of Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue; and Rabbi M. Bruce Lustig, Susan Shankman, and Joseph Skloot of Washington Hebrew Congregation. The speakers were not limited to members of the Jewish community, however. Oula Alrifai, once a Syrian asylum seeker and now a U.S. citizen, was a member of the first Syrian family to seek political asylum in Washington, D.C. in 2005. She is a Middle East analyst at Na-

vanti Group and the co-founder and executive director of the Syrian-American Network for Aid and Development. Imam Johari Abdul-Malik, outreach director at Dar Al Hijrah Islamic Center and a former Muslim chaplain at Howard University, also addressed the group. The Havdalah event was part of HIAS’ ongoing Welcome Campaign, which has engaged more than 260 synagogues and over 1,900 rabbis in support of refugee advocacy work. Co-sponsors of the National Day of Jewish Action for Refugees included Jewish rabbinical organizations across the denominational spectrum, as well as Jewish lobbyist groups and humanitarian relief organizations and the Multifaith Alliance for Syrian Refugees.

At Sunflower Bakery, Cookies Can Lead to Careers for Young Adults with Learning Differences ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 10 presented, the teens chose to fund Sunflower Bakery as their summer mitzvah project. That donation was used to purchase the point of sale equipment for Café Sunflower. These days, Feivel is in the Pastry Arts Employment Training Program and working towards a very specific goal: working both front and back of the house in the kosher bakery at Costco in Wheaton, Maryland. Milner said the summer program is also an exploratory class for teens. It’s mostly recreational because there aren’t other cooking classes for people with disabilities. In addition to other schools, the program draws teens with learning disabilities from Sulam, a school-within-a-school at the Berman Hebrew Academy.

The Future Having a storefront along with production and instruction space is Wexler and Milner’s dream right now. They agree that if they could rent a larger space, they could also expand training opportunities to include bread baking, packing and shipping, skills transferable to other businesses and industries. Milner wants people to buy from Sunflower Bakery, not just for their mission, but because they think their products are the best. She encourages community members to keep Sunflower

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Sunflower production kitchen in action. (PHOTO CREDIT: DEBBIE UNGER PHOTOGRAPHY)

Bakery in mind and make them a part of their Shabbat and simchas year-round. The deadline to order hamantaschen for Purim is March 6 at noon. Go to www.sunflowerbakery.org for more information and to place orders. Natasha Nadel is a mom, journalist and author of “The Healthy Mama’s Guide to Feeding Your Family Well – Simply and Sanely!” and “The Healthy Family, Healthy You Cookbook.” She has contributed to over 20 national and regional newspapers, magazines, and blogs, including The Washington Post's “On Faith and On Parenting,” Lilith, JTA, Na’amat Woman, The Jewish Press, Jewish Food Experience and Kveller.com.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

SUPPORT JEWISH EDUCATION!

TORAH SCHOOL OF GREATER WASHINGTON ANNUAL AUCTION

FEBRUARY 26TH, 2017 | 7PM BETH SHOLOM CONGREGATION | POTOMAC, MD

Wine and Elegant Dessert Reception Will be Served

PRIZE DRAWINGS BEGIN AT 8:30PM ADMISSION: $25 PER PERSON

Order tickets online at

www.tsgwauction.com * do not need to be present to win

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY NEWS State Representatives Address Local Concerns at Maryland Jewish Advocacy Day ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 1 nity. The February 7 event was a joint project of the Jewish Community Relations Council of Greater Washington and the Baltimore Jewish Council. Attendees spanned the broad spectrum of Maryland’s Jewish community, from Leisure World retirees to members of the Berman Hebrew Academy community to Terps for Israel from University of Maryland. Familiar faces included Lew Fontek of the Jewish Foundation for Group Homes (JFGH), Benham Dayanim of the Beltway Vaad, and Berman Hebrew Academy Director of Institutional Development Jennifer Zuckerman. JCRC Director of Maryland Government and Community Relations Meredith Weisel, introduced the various bills that the JCRC is supporting. They include a bill that would support renovations for six of JFGH’s group homes, bullet-resistant street-facing windows at the Bender JCC bullet, and one that would disallow anyone who is convicted of second-degree assault access to firearms. After Meredith, Delegate Benjamin Kramer (D) of District 19, Montgomery County discussed the bill he is sponsoring that will prevent Maryland state retirement and pension investment in companies that are participating in the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement against Israel. It would also prohibit those same companies from securing procurement contracts with the state. “Make sure the state doesn’t use your tax dollars to support companies that support BDS,” said Kramer. He emphasized the urgency of the matter, saying that BDS proponents were active advocates and his colleagues were hearing from them all day. “It can get very lonely here,” he said. He urged people not to “wait the sidelines” while others work to fight for causes that are detrimental to the State of Israel, but take tangible actions such as encouraging friends and families to contact their legislators and let them know they support the bill to

Members of Leisure World, including Fred Shapiro who took the pictures PHOTO CREDIT: FRED SHAPIRO

fight BDS. “Let my colleagues hear your voice,” he said. A few others who spoke included District 19 Delegates Marice Morales (D) and Bonnie Cullison (D). Morales thanked the JCRC for its opposition to the Trump Administration’s stance on immigration, and Cullison affirmed her support for Delegate Kramer’s anti-BDS legislation. Senator Roger Manno (D), also of District 19, was the final speaker. He also cited his strong support for the anti-BDS legislation, but introduced a bit of tension to the room when he said that he did not support the Broadening Options and Opportunities for Students Today (BOOST) bill; the bill gave families $4.85 million in scholarships towards tuition relief for non-public schools in 2016-

2017, and the JCRC is hoping to increase that support over the next three years to $10 million. Senator Manno explained that the budget was very limited this year and that his first priority was making sure that its limited funds focused on closing the achievement gap for public school education. He faced some tough questions from Rabbi Herzel Kranz of the Silver Spring Jewish Center, Behnam Dayanim and others, who mentioned that the funds were not coming from the public school education budget and that a large percentage of the local children are in private schools. Senator Manno ended that discussion by mentioning that he felt it would be difficult politically to support it as its own bill and instead said it would be better if it was included in the overall budget.

There was a large reception afterwards in the Miller Senate Office Building, where a few hundred advocates gathered from various parts of Maryland. The reception included some kosher food and drinks, catered by the Knish Shop in Baltimore. Another notable individual among the many present was Rabbi Ariel Sadwin, a Silver Spring native living in Baltimore who heads the regional government affairs office of Agudath Israel. For the last decade he has been the Annapolis representative for the Jewish day schools across Maryland and heads the state’s nonpublic school coalition, Maryland CAPE. He is a close ally of both the BJC and JCRC, working together on the issues of interest and concern to the wider Jewish community as well as issues that resonate more among the members of the Orthodox community.

A number of Berman Students who came to advocate on behalf of the community, with Senator Manno

Members of UMD Terps for Israel made their presence felt

PHOTO CREDIT: FRED SHAPIRO

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY NEWS

Open Mic Night Opens Hearts By Sara Levi The Toyota Sienna was full as we made our way to Berman Hebrew Academy. The typical morning carpool routine, right? Well, it was Motzei Shabbat, and the six mothers in the car were going to hear our friend perform her farewell song, marking her family’s decision to make aliyah this summer. We were going for her. We didn’t realize the awesome variety of talent from across Maryland we’d get to enjoy at this Women’s Only Open Mic Night sponsored by Beth Joshua Congregation and the Deborah Lerner Gross Jewish Cultural Arts Center. We arrived early, destined for the front rows seats! After loading up on food–– soup, salad, and (bread)sticks–– we entered the “club.” Columns of blue light illuminated and transformed the the amphitheater-style classroom into a true stage–– another world. Two lamps strategically placed provided just enough glow for performers to see. Clearly someone thought everything through down to the last detail.

Performers Meera Miller (bottom, second from right) and Michelle Penn (top, second from left) smile for the cameras with friends after the show. Author Sara Levi is top, first from left. (PHOTO CREDIT: SHARI BERGSTEIN)

with stand-up comedy and others put their life story to song. With cue cards flying and the audience belting out “It could buy me a boat,” we sand “Try Anything.” A petite performer (not an adult) and her partner shocked all with their chills-inducing duet from Phantom of the Opera. As the ladies on stage opened up, the audience listened, sang along, cheered and cried. When the real lights came on, everyone blinked back to their alter egos (I mean, real lives). When these diverse women shared some of their inner selves that night, we had traveled with them to another world. Now it was time to return to our regularly scheduled program, hopefully taking some of the night’s spirit along with us. Awed by some performers, inspired by others, the six tired mothers in the Toyota Sienna recapped the evening on the way home to bed.

Organizer Dahlia Topolosky (PHOTO CREDIT: SARA LEVI)

The goal of the evening was to create a safe space to share and inspire. Dahlia Topolosky, rebbetzin of Beth Joshua Congregation, served as host; she and her musical chevruta (partner) opened the evening with a Hebrew harmony. There was a little bit of everything: from hip history courtesy of Hamilton to a Barbara Streisand from Baltimore. We heard personal poetry, ponderings and parsha parables. Dancers graced the stage; guitar, drums and piano filled the room. Our lives are hectic, but it’s important to find the fun in the midst of the fray. Mothers shared the humor of their lives

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY NEWS

Singles as Shadchanim: Singles Uniting Network By Sara Trappler Spielman A new model of matchmaking is taking the process out of the hands of official shadchanim (matchmakers) and placing it into the hands of singles. SUN, or Singles Uniting Network, was founded by David Katzoff, 42, a married father of two children who holds a deep desire to combat what he sees as a faulty shidduch system. The program began locally with recent successful monthly meetings in Silver Spring that he’s trying to now expand to other communities. Essentially, singles are capitalizing on their own networks by meeting to discuss setting their friends up. They’re getting together with the main purpose of making matches–– here the singles are the matchmakers. Each member brings a list of all the single men and women they know–– someone they dated briefly, for example, or close friends–– and as they go around the room they describe themselves (or a good friend) and what they are looking for while other members peruse their lists for ideas. “It empowers singles to get involved in the shidduch process, to think outside of themselves and to look out for each other, to help each other by suggesting ideas of who they should date,” explains Katzoff.

Ideally, each community should have a facilitator, preferably married, to be there at meetings, Katzoff says. Although there’s a formal aspect of sitting around a table, the atmosphere is lighthearted, includes refreshments, and starts off with an ice breaker game. Initial meetings usually have three men and three women; after that, each one invites another person to be part of the next meeting. The Maryland group’s second meeting had nine people; the third had thirteen. Katzoff believes meetings should be capped at twelve people to run smoothly. “It is exciting to be part of a group where singles are taking matters into their own hands and looking out for one another,” said a member of Katzoff’s group (the individual preferred not to share their name for this article). They have witnessed initial successes over the past several weeks, such as single men and women setting up friends of theirs with each other. One young man and woman from the group have even agreed to go out with each other through Katzoff as mediator. Several members are now making strong efforts to try to set up others. “That alone is a big success because it means that we now have several additional shadchanim in the Orthodox community that we didn’t have beforehand,” Katzoff explains. “In addition, by being

932 Clintwood – Sold

CHELSEA FANTL REALTOR®

“Chelsea did a terrific job guiding us through the sale of our home. She was responsive to our questions and needs, and made sure we were well taken care of. Her enthusiasm and knowing when to push and when to back off made the entire process succeed with minimal stress.” – The Coltons

Your Concern is My Priority!

Cell: 301-908-0068 Direct: 301-908-0068 Office: 301-907-7600 ckfantl@gmail.com 18

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

The only attendees brave enough to have their picture taken.

part of the SUN group, many of the singles are networking, whether for Shabbat meals or jobs, and developing friendships with each other.” An operations research analyst by trade, Katzoff, has noticed a trend that more and more people are not getting married at the age they want to. Even 20 years ago he was sensitive to what other singles were going through; determined to set singles up even while he was on the dating scene, he set up 25 pairs and made one successful shidduch. “I was impassioned about trying to get involved in shidduchim, seeing many great single guys and girls frustrated and I’m trying to do my part to help them out,” he says. His thinking at the time was if he knows 30 guys and dated 30 girls that’s 900 possibilities, so he started setting up his friends with girls he had dated. “Singles United Network is a wonderful idea that should be encouraged by all communities,” says Rebbetzin Judi Steinig, Associate Director of Community Services of the Orthodox Union, who has been involved with singles programming for over 15 years. “We are all aware of the tremendous challenges facing singles of all religious demographics in the Orthodox community. We have seen many different formats for meeting one another, and each has shown limited success. Creating a forum where singles are empowered to help each other shows tremendous promise.” “We will be encouraging OU communities to become involved in this initiative and wish hatzlacha to all of those involved. Our hope is that SUN will enable many more singles to meet their zivugim,” she says. One of the key reasons why Katzoff believes the current shidduch system isn’t working for the Orthodox community, particularly for the Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox, is because “on the

Yeshivish side, there are many more single women than single men. On the Modern Orthodox side, the local communities are not doing nearly enough to look out for their singles and therefore many singles feel disconnected from their community,” he says. He would often encourage singles to set each other up and three months ago came up with this idea for SUN. Katzoff personally contacted 30 large orthodox communities in the US to take this on and several verbally agreed they will try, but he’s run up against challenges in finding Orthodox community leaders who can expand their roles in helping local unmarried congregants. “Most people are excited about the idea, but actually acting on it is another story,” Katzoff admits. The problem seems to be finding those in Jewish communities who will commit to facilitating it. Sometimes they put him in touch with the local shadchan, other times they say they will try to find someone. Often, it comes down to Katzoff nudging the rabbi of a shul to find someone to spend time on this important, yet often neglected matter. “My first question I ask is: Who do you have in charge of singles programming in your shul or community?” says Katzoff. “Out of 30, only three had that. It is not enough to have one or two annual singles events. Rather, I am hopeful that the shuls will have ongoing Friday night onegs, co-ed shiurim, co-ed chesed activities, and other opportunities for singles to meet each other and feel engaged with their shul. As an Orthodox community, we need to look out for each other to help address today’s shidduch issue.” If you are interested in learning more about this movement, please email David Katzoff at singlesunitingnetwork@ gmail.com. This article was originally published on the Orthodox Union website and is republished here with permission.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY NEWS

The Infertility Journey Community members share personal stories and thoughtful guidance at a panel discussion hosted by Young Israel Shomrai Emunah. By Debbie Katz SILVER SPRING (Md.) –– For an infertile couple and the Jewish community around them, it can often feel like there is an elephant in the room. At a bris, a kiddush or on a Yom Tov, people jovially say, “Next time by you!” But as months and years go by, questions arise but remain unspoken. “Do they plan to have kids?” “Could they be having a problem?” “Is it better to talk to them about it, or to give them their space?” “Is it difficult for them when they interact with our kids?” For the couple, these encounters can become increasingly awkward and painful. In their most public moments and most private ones, the infertility challenge is so fundamental to the self-definition of a frum Jewish couple that it can start to challenge the meaning of the marriage relationship and, indeed, life itself. What will our life together look like if Hashem has decided we will not be blessed with children? The ideal of passing on Jewish tradition to the next generation, the privilege of helping to perpetuate the Jewish people and, for some, the goal of replacing Jewish souls lost in the Holocaust remain unfulfilled aspirations. “The Infertility Journey” was the topic of a fascinating program that took place on Sunday December 25, 2016 at Young Israel Shomrai Emunah. It was organized and hosted by Max Rudmann, sponsored by Bikur Cholim of Greater Washington and co-sponsored by the шcommittees of Young Israel Shomrai Emunah, Kemp Mill Synagogue and Silver Spring Jewish Center. The expert panel of speakers featured Rabbi Dovid Rosenbaum, Mara d’Atra (Head Rabbi) of Young Israel

Shomrai Emunah, and his wife Atara, who spoke about their personal experiences. Estee Silver, a registered nurse who works closely with women who have infertility issues at a prominent local medical practice, addressed various medical aspects relating to infertility. Silver is also the wife of Assistant Rabbi Binyamin Silver. Dr. Karen Wasserstein, a psychologist who does counseling with infertile individuals and couples, talked about how she helps couples work through their sometimes-turbulent emotions. For many, the infertility diagnosis is as stressful and unexpected as a cancer diagnosis.

Here are a few takeaways from the discussion: Infertility is usually defined as the inability of a couple to get pregnant after a year of trying to conceive, and/or the inability to carry a baby to term. It also includes couples that have genetic incompatibilities, and therefore must use artificial means to have a healthy child. Secondary infertility–– having difficulty getting pregnant after a live birth–– is another common infertility problem. Nationwide, one in eight couples face infertility. Infertility afflicts men and women equally. About 25 percent of couples with infertility have more than one infertility issue. Infertility treatment utilizes specialized drugs and procedures.

Some treatments are covered by insurance, while others not and the costs can be overwhelming. Couples dealing with infertility are encouraged to work with medical specialists who know how to diagnose and treat a wide array of conditions leading to infertility. The medical field has a high success rate in treating infertility, but no medical professional can guarantee that a couple will ultimately be successful in bearing a child. The frequency of doctor visits, the major expense and the complexity of medical treatments are such that trying to conceive and carry a baby to term becomes a primary life focus during the years that a couple is undergoing medical treatments. For the frum couple, it is also a necessity to work closely with a knowledgeable rabbinic authority, as shailos (Jewish legal questions) come up often. Though the conversations with the rabbi are usually about “how” and not “if” specific tests and treatments can be undertaken, there are quite a few situations that require halachic guidance. In addition, having a rabbi and/or rebbetzin to act as mentors can often provide much-needed emotional support. For most, seeking the counsel of a competent mental health care professional is an important part of learning how to come together, and become stronger as a couple through the months and years of infertility treatments. What can a community do to provide the needed support for community members experiencing infertility? Here are some important dos and don’ts: • Understand that someone going through infertility may not be totally comfortable coming to your simcha, so don’t be offended if they opt out. • Respecting privacy is very important. Don’t make “helpful” suggestions. There is plenty of information available for couples if they want to do research. If it is well known that you went through infertility challenges yourself, it’s okay to say, “Let me

know if you have any questions or just want to talk.” • Try not to make all your social conversations about your kids! • Assure your friends experiencing infertility with your demeanor and social invitations that your esteem for them is not related to whether or not they will one day become parents. • If someone experiencing infertility chooses to confide in you, be empathetic. Find a challenging experience in your own life that helps you connect with your friend. Sometimes the best response is, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m just so glad you told me.” • If you are newly pregnant and have a friend who has infertility issues, share your good news with that friend first. It’s very important she finds out from you, in a direct personal way. Do not apologize. It may hurt to hear, but it will hurt her much less than finding out from someone else or after a long delay. Remember that your baby does not take away her baby. • Parents and grandparents: if you are wondering how to assist your children, assure them that you are there for them, but don’t ask questions. Make sure they know that if they need money, they can ask; or, if you have the money, perhaps you can give it without asking questions. Many couples contact Bonei Olam (see resource listing) asking for financial assistance because they don’t want their parents deeply involved in their private matters. As a community, we provide a safety net for one another by sharing our time, resources and caring. Awareness and knowledge of each other’s stories is a powerful first step to bringing us together with deeper understanding. If you would like to listen to The Infertility Journey panel discussion in its entirety, you can hear the podcast on Young Israel’s website (http://wp.yise. org/an-infertility-journey/).

Resource List from “An Infertility Journey: a Panel Discussion” Fertility Information and Support • Bonei Olam: Jewish fertility information/guidance and funding. www.boneiolam.org • ATIME: A Jewish medium of exchange, education, referrals, research and support. www.atime.org • PUAH: Helping couples with fertility, medicine and Jewish Law. www.puahonline.org • American Society of Reproductive Medicine. www. asrm.org • RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association-support groups-www.resolve.org (Resolve has a Mid-Atlantic region of support.) • American Fertility Association • The Red Stone: Jewish fertility organization in the Washington area; provides educational programs, support programs and limited financial resources. www.theredstone.org

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

• Yesh Tikva- Jewish fertility community organization that raises awareness of infertility throughout the Jewish community and provides emotional support and tools. Resources include support groups, online support forums, platforms for sharing personal stories, and events. www.YeshTikva.org or email support@yeshtikva.org

Cancer Patients with Fertility information and Support: • fertileHOPE – www.fertilehope.com

Pregnancy Loss Information and Support: • SHARE – www.nationalshare.org • Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB) -- www. climb-support.org

• The InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination (INCIID) – www.inciid.org • RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association – www.resolve.org • Our Hope Place – www.ourhopeplace.com

Speakers Atara Rosenbaum: arosenbaum@yeshiva.edu Rabbi Dovid Rosenbaum: 301-593-4465, extension 405; rdrosenbaum@yise.org Estee Silver, RN, Email: EsteeSilver13@gmail.com Dr. Karen Wasserstein, 301-351-3474, psychologist, www.covingtonandhafkin.com. February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY NEWS

Case Study: School Uses Project Based Learning to Broach Complicated Topic By Berman Hebrew Academy Staff For the first two weeks of the second semester, the entire Rabbi Moshe H. Levinson Upper School of Berman Hebrew Academy wrestled with an ethical-religious dilemma in their Talmud/Rabbinics classes that created a buzz and energy around their Judaics learning. The case involved a dilemma based on an actual medical event from 1977. Conjoined twins were born to an Orthodox Jewish couple and they shared one six-chambered heart. They could not

live more than a couple of weeks in this state. Can you take the heart and put it in one of the babies, giving them a chance to live a regular life, but also ending the life of the other? The Upper School used the Project Based Learning (PBL) model as a way to approach this complicated topic. PBL is a teaching method in which students gain knowledge and skills by working for an extended period of time to investigate and respond to an authentic, engaging and complex question, problem, or challenge.

Photo courtesy of Berman Hebrew Academy

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Dr. Josh Levisohn, Head of School, Rabbi Moshe Mittelman, Judaics teacher, Mrs. Nechama Porat, Rosh Midrasha and Mrs. Elana Weinberg, Judaics teacher, participate in a panel discussion as part of a culmination of the program. (Photo courtesy of Berman Hebrew Academy)

Each student received a packet of sources to help work through the core principles involved in deciding on an answer to this heart-wrenching question. Because such a case has no direct parallels in rabbinic sources, of course, the students needed to interpret, analyze, analogize and identify the most productive parallels to help resolve the dilemma. In classes, in the hallways, in carpools and at dinner tables, students across grades and classes argued, debated and decided. It was an eye-opening experience for many of them since, in true project based learning fashion, it started with a problem to be solved rather than merely a text to be understood. Some of the students were also privileged to hear more about the bioethics

side of the case from Jeffrey Gruenglas, an expert in this area. Gruenglas explained the principles of medical ethics and their importance. He presented different possibilities to handle the specific case from the point of view of the parents and doctors. The two-week project culminated in a public discussion and debate by some of the faculty members, moderated by Headmaster Dr. Josh Levisohn, in front of a rapt student body, who used their electronic devices to answer questions about the case. Their collective responses were projected on a screen during the panel. The overwhelming success of this project has energized the desire to prepare other such case studies for future use in the classroom.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY NEWS

Lieberman Family Brings Leading Modern Orthodox Thinker to Beth Sholom By Sarah Antine Every year, the Lieberman family sponsors a Shabbaton that brings a leading Modern Orthodox thinker to Beth Sholom Congregation and Talmud Torah in Potomac, Maryland, as a scholar-in-residence. The scholar-in-residence of this year’s shabbaton, which took place on February 3-4, was Rav Binyamin (Benny) Lau, Rabbi of the Ramban Synagogue in Jerusalem. Rav Lau is an Israeli community leader, educator, author, charismatic public speaker and social activist. He founded the Moshe Green Beit Midrash for Women’s Leadership at Beit Morasha’s Beren College and is a research fellow at the Israel Democracy Institute. He received his Ph.D. in Talmud from Bar-Ilan University.

On Friday evening the Bobrow Chapel filled past capacity, so the minyan moved into the main sanctuary so as not to be in violation of the fire code. After dinner, the community listened to an engaging source-based discussion with Rabbi Dr. Lau. Rabbi Nissan Antine, the senior rabbi, and Maharat Dasi Fruchter, the assistant spiritual leader, interviewed Rabbi Lau on key issues surrounding women’s spiritual leadership and LGBT inclusion. In answering a question about women’s spiritual lead-

He said that the Tanach is no longer taught in secular Israeli schools, so he created the initiative in order to give all Israelis a connection to their heritage ership, Rav Lau quoted several sources on a historical timeline, starting with a source from 300 years ago that discussed that a Jew could not assist a deaf person who had fallen ill on Shabbat. Two centuries later, after deaf schools had been established, and the Jewish community had more understanding of the deaf, the halacha evolved to make it allowable to assist the deaf and not be in violation of Shabbat. Lau continued to provide examples that showed how halacha evolved over hundreds of years to adapt

to new social realities. Rav Lau said that in his community, which has members spanning five generations, many have a desire for increased inclusion, such as when women in his community wanted to carry the Torah on Simchat Torah. As a community, they must go through a process of studying the halacha surrounding the issue over the course of a year, before the possibility of instituting a change. Sam Charnoff, Beth Sholom member, explained the process a shul should adhere to when considering a proposed change. In an e-mail message, he wrote, “The initial question a Rabbi must answer is whether the proposed change is consistent with halacha. If the answer is no, then the matter should be put aside. The second question is whether the benefits of an allowable change outweigh the costs to the community, because not

When asked about her thoughts about female spiritual leadership, Noa Lau said that she is ready as long as it is within the halachic framework. every change that is halachically acceptable should be pursued. Third, if a change is going to disrupt the fabric of an otherwise successful community, then even if halachically justifiable, it is probably not something to pursue. Rabbi Lau is clearly sensitive to each of these questions and therefore I am a strong proponent of his approach to take things ‘slow,’ teach the underlying halachic issues, observe how the community responds to that teaching and then only move forward if the community ‘buys in’ as a whole with teaching.” When asked in what ways an Orthodox shul can include gay, lesbian and transgender members, and adult children of members, Rav Lau suggested a similar process: to study relevant halachic sources as a community for a year, in order to determine possibilities for LGBT inclusion. “Halacha means to walk and not stop, and in order to keep halacha one must keep walking, but no change can be abrupt. It must be part of a process of learning halacha, and in that way we serve G-d,” he said. Ramban Synagogue in Katamon, where Rav Lau is the rabbi, is the first synagogue in Jerusalem to hire a female spiritual leader, Rabbanit Carmit Feintuch. He said that his wife, Rabbanit Noa Lau, Vice Dean of Nishmat, and the Shoelet U’Meishiva of Nishmat’s Keren Ariel Yoetzet Halacha Training Program, which trains women to give hala-

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Halacha means to walk and not stop, and in order to keep halacha one must keep walking, but no change can be abrupt. It must be part of a process of learning halacha, and in that way we serve G-d,” he said chic advice on questions pertaining to the laws of family purity, was not inclined to serve as a shul rebbetzin. When asked about her thoughts about female spiritual leadership, Noa Lau said that she is ready as long as it is within the halachic framework. The Torah world needs more women who are trained in the area of taharat hamishpacha (family purity), she said. On Shabbat afternoon after a soldout communal Shabbat lunch, Rav Lau discussed his activism for Torah learning throughout Israel. He created a project to bring secular and religious Jews together to study one chapter of Tanach per day, Monday through Friday of every week. The online forum he initiated is called 929, which represents the 929 chapters of Tanach. It currently has 200,000 participants who hail from all walks of life throughout Israel. He said that the Tanach is no longer taught in secular Israeli schools, so he created the initiative in order to give all Israelis a connection to their heritage. At seudah shlishit, the third meal on Shabbat, Rav Lau spoke about the Kaddish and how when he finished saying Kaddish for his father, it felt too abrupt, so he sat down and wrote a prayer for the end of Kaddish that has now inspired countless mourners.

Steven Lieberman said that he has three requirements to be selected as a scholar-in-residence for the shabbaton. He said, “First, the person must be a leader of Modern Orthodoxy in terms of new ideas and important activity in that regard. Second, the person must have shown some considerable personal courage or significant personal work to achieve an important goal that benefits the Jewish community. Third, the person must be a compelling speaker.” Previous Lieberman Shabbaton scholars include Rabbi Riskin (twice), Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi Yitz

Greenberg, Blu Greenberg, Tamar Ross, Rabbi Steven Weill, Rabbi Haskell Lookstein, Rabbi Dov Linzer, Rabbi Asher Lopatin and Rabba Sara Hurwitz. Herbert Lieberman, a dedicated community leader and activist and Steve Lieberman’s father, died on October 18, 2001. The next year, the Lieberman family held the first shabbaton in his memory. In a bio about his father’s work for inclusion of the disabled, Lieberman wrote, “One of the many community improvement projects he spearheaded was organizing local support for Riverdale’s first group homes, battling those who said ‘not in my backyard,’ and educating residents about the value of homes for the disabled.” This year’s shabbaton marked the end of the first year of mourning of Sharon Lieberman’s father, Ruben D. Silverman, a respected and admired lawyer, who was member of the Board of Directors of Congregation Sons of Israel, the oldest Orthodox Shul in Lakewood, NJ, where his paternal grandfather had been president and was one of the founders. The Shabbaton has become a memorial for both fathers. Sharon Lieberman never expected that she would say Kaddish, but she went to mincha and maariv services and, as she said, “it became a pattern, so I did go for the 11 months.” On the last day she could say Kaddish for her father, Rabbi Antine of Beth Sholom introduced the concept of Rabbi Lau’s prayer, so Sharon and her sister Barbara Hirsh stood together and read Rav Lau’s contemporary “Prayer for the End of Kaddish” for their father. She had noticed that other mourners she had seen looked sad or lost at the end of Kaddish, but she did not feel that way. She said the prayer provided, “a moment of closure at the right moment; the prayer was like putting a period at the end of a sentence.”

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

COMMUNITY NEWS

Beyond the Mitzvah: Open Up Your Circle of Friends By Yael Zelinger My name is Yael, and I am good at teaching Sign Language. I am not so good at shooting hoops. What are you good at, and what are you not so good at? We all have things that we are good at and things that we are not so good at. While the U.S. government imprints millions and trillions of quarters and they all look exactly the same, every single human being that ever lived on this blessed earth looks and acts differently, has different opinions and invokes different perspectives. How does this relate to people with disabilities? Approximately 20 percent of the population has a disability. That means one out of every five people. If you are connected to more than five people, then you are connected to the community of people with disabilities. Although I trust that most families try to raise their children with the mantra to “Love your neighbor as yourself” and show children to be nice, share, take turns and not call people names, applying this generic lesson to people with disabilities is not so common. Well-meaning parents and teachers often emphasize being nice to people with disabilities because it’s a mitzvah (commandment) or act of chesed (kindness). I believe that we need intentional lessons; I like to call them experiences that go beyond kindness and convey an appreciation of people with disabilities and what they have to offer. Over the last year, close to a dozen Baltimore Jewish schools–including day schools, yeshivas and supplemental schools–have been participating in

B’More Inclusive programing with BHC, Beth Am and the JCC Early Childhood.

B’More Inclusive Disability Awareness Experiences. Developed by the Macks Center for Jewish Education, B’More Inclusive experiences are designed to teach students that every Jewish person has an important, valuable place in our community. Students experience activities that highlight the concept that even if someone seems very different from you, we all share a Jewish neshamah

give students a chance to get to know each other. If we don’t include all children, the rest of the class is losing out on what each child has to offer. We are all good at some things and not so good at other things. I don’t want to be known as “that lady who can’t shoot a basket for beans.” I’d much rather be referred to as “the lady who taught us some cool signs.” It means

If we can have a discussion in school or the work place about the tremendous potential and accomplishments of people who look, act, walk or communicate differently than we do, we can create an environment that truly includes people with all different abilities. (soul) and we all have things in common. Those common interests can be the basis for real relationships. Students also learn to work together using their own individual skills and talents to benefit our community. These experiences

that when we need to come up with a creative poster for our science project, I want that artistic girl who happens to be deaf in my group. It means that when we need someone to sing our Color War theme song, that girl who rocks back and

forth and does not make eye contact but has an awesome voice would be perfect on our team. The old adage “children are our future” is so true. Children of today are tomorrow’s Jewish leaders, synagogue presidents, employers and decision-makers. Early lessons and experiences of acceptance and understanding will shape the culture of inclusion in the future. If we can have a discussion in school or the work place about the tremendous potential and accomplishments of people who look, act, walk or communicate differently than we do, we can create an environment that truly includes people with all different abilities. Look beyond the mitzvah and include a person with a disability because of what he or she adds to our team, our group project or our staff. He or she might even make a good friend! Yael has worked at CJE since 1999 as a member of the Disability and Inclusion team, advocating for and supporting individuals with special needs.

Washington Torah Project Teams up With Sulam Kol HaBirah Staff For the first time ever, a Torah scroll has been written entirely within Washington, D.C. After months of anticipation and planning, a few Sulam and Shearim students had the opportunity to participate in the Washington Torah Project. The roster of locations where relevant passages are being written include land-

marks such as the National Zoo, the US Capitol and even the Supreme Court. Sulam is Hebrew for “ladder,” and the sponsors of the Washington Torah, American Friends of Lubavitch (Chabad), saved the passage about our ancestor Yaakov’s ladder for Sulam students. Students arrived at the Chabad to be greeted by Rabbi Levi Shemtov, Executive Vice President of American Friends

Rabbi Levi Shemtov with sofer Rabbi Shaul Bassel and upper school student Adam K.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

of Lubavitch (Chabad). Standing right in the sanctuary was a large ladder, giving a visual lesson about how the ladder didn’t hang from heaven beyond reach, but was “placed into the earth” and reached all the way to heaven and angels of Hashem ascended and descended on it. The message that Rabbi Shemtov shared is that we don’t have to jump to access the ladder to Hashem. It is here, accessible, and

you just need to take that first step so that you can climb all the way. Each student had the opportunity to dip the special quill into the ink and then asked the sofer (scribe), Rabbi Shaul Bassel, to write them each a special letter in that passage. The energy in the room was a truly special and it was unforgettable moment for everyone who participated.

Group photo including Shearim and Sulam students, Sulam Director Lianne Heller, Sulam Director of Marketing Ahuva Orlofsky, Sulam faculty Rabbi Alon Dek and Miss Devorah Merzel, and Rabbi Levi and Nechama Shemtov, and sofer Rabbi Shaul Bassel.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY NEWS

Kol Habirah Spotted!

Parents reading Kol HaBirah for the first time at a Berman game

Congratulations to Jake Turx, Chief Political Correspondent of Ami Magazine for making it to the White House and taking Kol HaBirah with him!

The wonderful FNP Printing and Publishing staff holding the first ever copies of Kol HaBirah. If you would like to start a rival paper, we suggest them!

NCSY photos

Guest speaker Nira Berry addressing the full crowd Isaac Nadaner, Sam Fingerhut, Yonah Gershman, and Hillel Goldschein

Brett Kugler, Jacky Vino, and Ayelet Fishman

Bari Perlmutter, Daniella Jaray, Eliana Makovsky, Hadas Dubrawsky, and Jessica Hilfer

Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld of Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue leads residents of the Jewish Foundation for Group Homes in learning and song in honor of Tu B'Shevat Photos taken by Harris M. Cohen

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

CAPITAL COMMENTARY

Friedman’s Challenges By Eli Chomsky If, as expected, David Friedman is confirmed by the U.S. Senate as the next U.S. ambassador to Israel, he will face myriad challenges in his key post. This is due to the obvious volatility in whatever remains of Israeli-Palestinian peacemaking efforts, and in Friedman’s principled, outspoken advocacy of Israel’s biblical and nationalist rights to a Jewish homeland from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean–– a policy rejected by almost every nation on earth. Here are some hot-button questions that will likely be put to Friedman by both his supporters and detractors. As the American envoy to all Israelis, he’ll need to provide answers.

On the Two-State Solution: Are you willing to state categorically that you maintain your longstanding strong opposition to a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a position that is at odds with Prime Minister Netanyahu and some of his Likud Party allies, along with a strong minority segment of Israel’s Jewish populace? If so, isn’t this tantamount to telling Netanyahu and the millions of Israelis that share his view on this issue that you–– living 6,000 miles away in the relative personal safety and comfort of America–– are more qualified than they are in determining what is in their best long-term security interests? In short,

shouldn’t Israeli citizens–– and only Israeli citizens, the ones who pay taxes and put their lives on the line every day on behalf of their families and fellow Israelis–– be the ones to determine their own future by drawing their own permanent borders through their elected representatives or via a national referendum?

helpful” in peacemaking efforts and makes that a major factor in its negotiating strategy, would you be able to faithfully execute that strategy – even though it is diametrically opposed to your life’s work? In a recent interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity, President Trump pointedly did not reiterate his oft-repeated campaign promise to relocate the U.S. embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem–– a

Are you willing to state categorically that you maintain your longstanding strong opposition to a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a position that is at odds with Prime Minister Netanyahu and some of his Likud Party allies And, if President Trump’s eventual policy on this issue conflicts with your own long-held view, how will you faithfully promote his diplomatic agenda without betraying your conscience?

On Settlements and the Possible U.S. Embassy Move: As an active supporter of Israeli settlement building, do you support the concept of the recently passed Knesset law that will, if upheld by Israel’s Supreme Court, retroactively legalize thousands of housing units in settlements on numerous acres of land formerly owned by Palestinians? Furthermore, if the Trump administration stands by its recent comment that further settlements “may not be

move you have staunchly supported, as recently as in your statement accepting the president’s nomination to the ambassadorial post. Instead, he said that he “did not want to talk about it now.” If that slight backtrack leads to a reversal of his embassy pledge, the aforementioned question applies yet again: would you be able to faithfully execute that strategy, even though it is diametrically opposed to what you fervently stand for?

On Dialoguing with the Opposition: As the long-time president of the American Friends of Bet El Yeshiva Center, which is located in Samaria, how do you expect to maintain a dialogue with a large

segment of the Israeli public that opposes settlement activity in Bet El and other Judean and Samarian communities? Similarly, as American ambassador to all Israelis, will you refer to the Israeli “peace camp” as “far worse than kapos,” a description you applied to supporters of the American lobbyist group J Street in a June 5, 2016 column in Arutz Sheva? If you did paint Israeli leftists as “far worse than kapos,” how would you realistically expect to have productive communication with Israel’s loyal opposition? After all, doesn’t an ambassador’s role include building relationships with all of the host country’s political constituencies? Finally, let’s say the Netanyahu government is succeeded by a left-leaning government in Israel’s next parliamentary election, the election being a certainty at some point during President Trump’s first term. If the Trump administration, out of respect for the will of the Israeli electorate, adjusts to the new government’s more liberal policies, will you make those same adjustments despite your personal opinions? How diplomatically savvy is soon-to-be U.S. ambassador to Israel David Friedman? We’re likely to find out soon enough. Eli Chomsky is a New York-based freelance journalist and writer. He is a former copy editor, feature and opinion writer, and reporter at The Jewish Press. His former professional positions include radio broadcasting, political consulting, and speechwriting for the New York City Comptroller. He recently served for six years as president of the Young Israel of Forest Hills in Queens, New York. He can be reached at echomsky54@aol.com.

Red, Blue and Frum, Part II In out last issue, we joined Special Correspondent Dede Jacobs-Komisar for her journey to Washington, D.C. and her discussions with Jews of all political stripes on the day of Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration. Her story resumes here on the morning of the Women’s March on Washington, as she continues exploring how the Jewish community is wrestling with diverse feelings in the wake of the election–– and their hopes for the future.

he next morning, I got up early, davened, and walked with my sister to the Mall for the Women’s March. I was carrying a sign that said “Jewish Women Have Never Stopped Fighting For Human Rights” on one side and “Pursue Justice” on the other. Very

Original artwork by Deborah Stein (IMAGE CREDIT WOMEN'S MARCH ON WASHINGTON/DEBORAH STEIN.)

quickly, we were surrounded by people, going back as far as the eye could see in all directions. Senator Cory Booker (D– NJ) suddenly appeared about two feet away, shaking hands and taking selfies. Dr. Michelle Love, 44, is a family physician at the Columbia School of Medicine Student Health Services in Manhattan. She had attended rallies in years past at the UN in support of Israel, as well as Comedy Central’s Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear on the Mall in 2010. “I wanted to be in DC as a significant presence of people to show that there is a significant portion of the population that disagrees with Trump and Pence’s policies,” she said. A mix of social justice and Jewish values also motivated Michelle to attend the March. “Judaism teaches us tikun olam, tolerance, acceptance,” she said. “Social justice, taking care of the poor and the marginalized is a big part of a Judaism. And I think that the left wing of politics fits those ideals.” Since the election, Michelle worries that President Trump will be a threat to many things she cares about: “Women’s rights, reproductive rights, LGBT equality. Immigration. Health care. The environment and climate change. I’m very concerned about the future of our planet.” Leah Sarna, 24, is a student in the Maharat program in Manhattan and attended the March at the urging of her grandparents. “They had been activists when

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

they were young, and they asked why I wasn’t more active,” she said. “They’re right. Our generation has to get off Facebook and continue their legacy.” It was the first march for Tamar Dayanim, 20, a Barnard student and registered Democrat from Silver Spring, Maryland. She recently worked for a non-profit advocating for the Family and Medical Leave Act and is worried that questions of employment benefits and resources for women will be “swept under the rug now that other issues seem far more pressing.” “I went to stand with other women,” she said. Tamar has worked for the Clinton campaign, which she described as “an overwhelmingly positive and inspirational experience.” Tamar’s Jewish values motivate her to be involved in social justice work, and she views Hillary Clinton as a personal role model of female leadership that she feels is lacking in mainstream Orthodox Judaism. “Hillary taught me that I can be a leader in my Jewish community, and take on roles that are traditionally male,” she said. “I’m short, so I couldn’t see anything!” reported Beverly [Beverly, a Shabbos robe manufacturer from Teaneck, New Jersey, in her 60s, was an interview subject featured in “Red, Blue and Frum, Part I.”] Once she got to a spot where she could see, Beverly was moved by how many men were also there, marching in

The author and her family in August 2016. Simpler times.

support. “There were even some curious Trump supporters,” she said. “We talked with them, thanked them for coming.” “The area was completely packed with people. I was blown away,” said Deborah Klein Hammer, an autism specialist from Alexandria, Virginia, who helped organize volunteers for the March. “I knew there would be a lot of people, but I couldn’t believe my eyes. People all over, children all ages.” Deborah said it reminded her of when she attended the first Obama Inauguration, “Though this time,” she added, “there was a tinge of sadness and trepidation.” I asked Marc and Jared what they would say to people feeling very real fear and anxiety in the wake of the election.

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 41

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

CAPITAL COMMENTARY

Sephardic Arabic Bridges

Music For The Soul Rep. Walorski February 20th, 5:30 PM at Magen David Sephardic Congregation Featuring: The Yuval Ron Ensemble, Ramy Adly, & The Magen David Ensemble

Led by award winning composer Yuval Ron (music for Oscar winning film “West Bank Story”) the Yuval Ron Ensemble endeavors to alleviate national, racial, religious and cultural divides by uniting the music and dance of the people of the Middle East info unique mystical, spiritual and inspiring musical celebration.

Introduces Resolution Condemning PA’s Actions at ICC By Zachary Leshin

WASHINGTON–– U.S. Rep. Jackie Walorski (R-Indiana) introduced a resolution last week deploring the actions of the Palestinian Authority (PA) to join the International Criminal Court (ICC) and undertake legal action through the Court against Israel. House Resolution 109 comes following a request by Saeb Erekat, secretary-general of the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), to Fatou Bensouda, chief prosecutor of the ICC, to expedite rulings on claims filed by the PA with the ICC regarding Israeli construction of housing units in east Jerusalem and Judea and Samaria, as well as regarding Israeli demolition of Palestinian Arab housing units built without permits or demolished in response to terrorist acts by the residents. The resolution holds that lawfare, which is the abuse of law to achieve strategic goals, is a threat to United States interests abroad as well as those of the United States democratic allies. It is in the interest of the United States to stand against the use of lawfare, especially in situations when the goal of such lawfare is delegitimization of the United States or its democratic allies, or the obstruction of the fight against terrorism. The use of lawfare threatens the national security of all democracies who engage their militaries to defend their sovereignty and fight against terrorism, and also how the PA’s current policy of using lawfare against Israel sets a dangerous precedent that threat-

ens the national security of the United States and its democratic allies. Additionally, the resolution notes how the current policy of the PA with regard to the ICC is a politically motivated action designed to exert political pressure on Israel outside the context of direct negotiations, weaken Israel’s sovereignty, and hinder Israel’s ability to fight against and defeat terrorism, and as such constitutes an act of lawfare. Finally, the resolution notes how the ICC has no jurisdiction in this matter because under the American Service-Members’ Protection Act, which became law on August 2, 2002, citizens of the United States, NATO, major non-NATO allies, and Taiwan are protected from the jurisdiction, investigation, arrest, detainment, prosecution or imprisonment by or on behalf of the ICC. While Congressional resolutions don’t create laws, they do express the sense of Congress and are an important tool of public diplomacy to project soft power. If passed, this resolution will hopefully lessen the diplomatic impact of lawfare attempts by the PA as well as other entities who try to use lawfare. Zachary Leshin has lived in D.C. since 2012 and is currently working towards his Master's in National Security at the Institute of World Politics. He previously served as a Legislative Assistant to Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) in charge of Israel policy and has worked as a reporter for CNSNews.com covering Capitol Hill. He frequently attends events at American Friend of Lubavitch (Chabad), Mesorah DC, and Moishe House.

Ramy Adly in an accomplished composer and performer. His early love of ancient music has led to a lifetime of devoted study of perfecting the knowledge, technique, and performance on the Oud. Admission is free. Magen David is proud to sponsor the event and to invite the public to experience the rich culture of its congregants, who hail from all corners of the Arabic-speaking world.

Join Us... All ages are welcome

Admission is free

Sponsors: Magen David Sephardic Congregation The Sephardic Learning Experience Mrs. Violet Lewis

301-770-6818

11215 Woodglen Dr, North Bethesda, MD 20852, USA 26

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

CAPITAL COMMENTARY OP-ED

Young Israel Invites You to Fight BDS With Mischloach Manot By Bob Levi A snowball effect is a process whereby a small action builds upon itself, growing larger and larger, and picking up momentum as it proceeds. It is wonderful to behold such a phenomenon when it makes a meaningful impression on the broader Jewish community and benefits our brethren in Israel. I am the chairman of the board of a national Jewish organization that may not be the largest or the wealthiest, and we rely on our branches to be inspired and challenged. One of our constituent

branches has started a snowball effect like the one I described, enriching the entire National Council of Young Israel, a nation-wide synagogue with 120 branches, as well as Klal Yisrael (the Jewish people). Last year, Young Israel of Jamaica Estates in Queens, New York, took it upon itself to take direct aim at the international Boycott, Divest and Sanction (BDS) movement which has sought to damage the Israeli economy. This Young Israel branch spearheaded a concerted effort to inspire other Young Israel branches to unite in preparing and delivering Purim mishloach manot (gift

Get the tag and indicate your participation at http://www.yije.org/. (IMAGE COURTESY OF YOUNG ISRAEL OF JAMAICA ESTATES)

Why JDAIM Shouldn’t Exist By Lianne Heller February is Jewish Disabilities Awareness and Inclusion Month (JDAIM). In an ideal world, there would be no such thing. Not because in an ideal world there would be no people with disabilities; rather, those with disabilities contribute to the diversity of our world, and diversity is what makes our lives rich with nuances, challenges, different perspectives and interesting ideas. No, in an ideal world we would be so inclusive of all types of people that we would find the idea of a dedicated month of the year for disabilities and inclusion awareness completely absurd.

ing machine that exterminated million Jews; apartheid in South Africa, a legal system meant to devalue and denigrate an entire population based on race, ended only 26 years ago. There are countries and societies in the world that continue to exclude others based on differences in culture, race, religion and ethnicity. It is always those who are society’s most vulnerable who become excluded–– and people with disabilities are vulnerable. Therefore, having a month to bring more awareness to the issues and challenges faced by people with disabilities is a reasonable attempt to further the mission of inclusion. As the Director of Sulam, a program that includes students with learning differences in the Berman Hebrew Academy, I have a more idealistic and aggressive approach

No, in an ideal world we would be so inclusive of all types of people that we would find the idea of a dedicated month of the year for disabilities and inclusion awareness completely absurd. But, here we are. But, here we are. We live in a world which historically has not been inclusive at all. In the past century, we dealt with the Holocaust, a systematic kill-

to inclusion awareness. It starts with early childhood education and continues through elementary and secondary schools, and even on to college. Children

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

baskets) that included only products from Israel. The plan involved purchasing products directly from Israel or purchasing Israeli products from local grocery stores. In addition, Young Israel of Jamaica Estates designed a special tag to be affixed to the mishloach manot indicating that the package was prepared as a challenge to the BDS enterprise. In this way, the receiver of the mishloach manot knew of their participation in contesting BDS. Last year, the entire Young Israel movement embraced this important project, and we encouraged all of our branches to join with the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates. The effort meshes very nicely with the Purim holiday. After all, mishloach manot is one of the four mitzvot of Purim and involves sending of gifts to other Jews. The gifts must include at least two that are edible. The tangible goal of the Young Israel project is to generate enough mishloach manot made solely of items produced in Israel that the impact will be palpable in Israel. The intangible ambition is to unite synagogues throughout the country to convey to our Israeli brethren that they are not alone in their struggle against the anti-Semitic BDS movement. This year, once again, the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates is leading the Purim can be taught every day from the earliest age that every person is of equal value to society. Every person has a place in the classroom, no matter their differences in learning style. How is this possible? To start, make sure there is a diverse range of students present in the classroom. Teachers must model their caring and acceptance of all, embracing the child with learning differences in a way that shows typically developing children that everyone will be treated with dignity and respect. Research has shown that children learn best from direct experience, which includes modeling from the adults in their lives. Special educators must be present to provide support to both students and general education teachers to ensure a socially, emotionally and educationally healthy learning environment. Jewish schools today must teach far more than a set of academic skills and concepts. They have a moral responsibility to educate Jewish students using a set of core values that teach Torah principles such as acharayut–– responsibility to ourselves and others–– a value that includes respect and compassion for those with differences. Paying lip service to our Torah values is not enough. Each decision and interaction between all stakeholders–– administrators, teachers, board members, donors, sports coaches, janitors, cafeteria workers, librarians,

charge against BDS. We challenge Capital-area shuls, no matter their affiliation, to join with us in the campaign to fight BDS through this mishloach manot campaign. There’s still time to put this plan into action–– Purim is on Sunday, March 12. Many synagogues and other communal institutions prepare and deliver mishloach manot as fundraising or community outreach projects. Now is the time for these institutions to create the shopping list of Israel-produced items for their Purim packages. To demonstrate the magnitude of the support for this project, I encourage synagogues to email their intent to participate to the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates at yijepurim@gmail.com. In email subject line, indicate your synagogue’s name. In the body of the email, specify how many Israeli-only mishloach manot packages you will be preparing for delivery. Your synagogue should publicize your participation on your shul’s website and Facebook page to encourage others to join the endeavor. Synagogues and institutions participating in this project may want to attach the tag pictured here to let the recipients know of their participation in a national anti-BDS project. You may download this tag from the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates website: www.yije.org. Let’s make this snowball grow on Purim and fight BDS. Bob Levi is Chairman of the Board of the National Council of Young Israel and a past president of Young Israel Shomrai Emunah of Greater Washington. parents and students–– must reflect our commitment to our Torah values. Consider this quote by Haim Ginott, a well-known and respected teacher, psychologist, principal and author of the book, “Between Parent and Child.” “I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no person should witness. Gas chambers built by learned engineers. Children poisoned by education physicians. Infants killed by trained nurses. Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates.

Inclusion awareness should not be just a once-a-year event. So I am suspicious of education. My request is: help your students become more human. Your efforts must never produce learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, or educated Eichmanns. Reading, writing, and arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human.” Including children who learn differently helps make our society more human. Every school must strive toward creating a future society that embraces diversity and keeps us all safe. This must be done explicitly and every day. Inclusion awareness should not be just a once a year event.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

CAPITAL COMMENTARY OP-ED

Preparing for Disaster? Read This First By David Hornestay “Shall We Wake the President? Two Centuries of Disaster Management from the Oval Office” by Tevi Troy, Lyons Press, 2016 Prospective readers contemplating the title of this worthwhile book should not actually anticipate a 200-year chronicle of presidential reactions to national disasters. As the author himself points out, the state of communications in the first century of American history made a Washington response to events like the 1811-1812 earthquakes in Missouri irrelevant. The cherished concept of federalism rendered the federal government’s involvement an afterthought at best for even longer. From the time of the famous Johnstown Flood of 1889, however, which cost more than 2,000 lives, the role of the President in disaster response has been an issue, and it is this role that Tevi Troy focuses on for its current and future significance. Troy, a former White House and subcabinet official and now CEO of

the American Health Policy Institute, examines both natural and man-made disasters to identify lessons for consideration in preparing for the increasing challenges of our time. Perhaps most importantly, he offers recommendations for both individual and government preparedness. The two-part structure of the book is straightforward: the “Acts of God” include pandemics, food and water, weather, and economic collapse, and “Acts of Man” encompass terror attacks, bioterror, power grid failures, and civil unrest. Each of the two major sections ends with a helpful, well-thought-out “How to Prepare” chapter. One may quibble about Troy’s placement of economic troubles in the bailiwick of the Divine, but they receive the same systematic historical, analytical and prescriptive treatment as all the other problem categories. Having occupied a White House and agency leadership vantage point for many years, the author is able to describe from close up the surprises, dilemmas and responses of the Bush administration in several of these areas. He is candid about slow and ineffective ini-

tial actions relating to both the 9/11 terror attacks and Hurricane Katrina while noting that pandemic planning by that same administration helped President Obama deal with a swine flu outbreak shortly after he took office. Writing about the virulent worldwide Spanish flu pandemic of 1918-19, Troy severely criticizes President Woodrow Wilson for virtually ignoring the mounting loss of life and continuing to send crowded military transports to Europe even as World War I wound down. While pointing out that no president in our age of communication could get away with Wilson’s hands-off approach, he also notes that modern travel and evolving “superbugs” make us “quite vulnerable to a devastating and deadly pandemic.” The narrative chapters are supplemented by four intriguing appendices: Presidential Lessons Learned; When Presidents Should Get Involved: A Checklist; Five Best and Five Worst Presidents at Dealing with Disaster; and Individual Lessons Learned. Troy wrote the book last year and necessarily addressed much of his advice to the man or woman who

Kol HaBirah’s own Senior Editor Kami Troy presents: “Five Questions with Kami,” a new podcast featuring members of the Greater Washington Jewish community.

would occupy the White House beginning in 2017. Asked if he would now formulate his counsel more personally, he reiterated the “universally applicable” recommendations on visibility, clear communication and credibility building. At the same time, he noted that President Trump has shown some “communication strengths” in the use of Twitter and in “encapsulating difficult issues into simple phrases.” The last-named appendix is a 13-point list of recommendations for individuals and families ranging from food stocking and home-security systems to diversifying investments. Troy’s cautionary and somewhat chilling theme is that “in the case of an attack on the homeland or widespread natural disaster, you and your family might not be the government’s top priority.” Coming from someone with extensive first-hand knowledge of governmental response to disasters, that seems like advice worth contemplating. In his new incarnation, Troy has turned his attention to writing and advocating about health policy. Based on the clarity and realism characterizing his last book, there may be hope for the emergence of something more coherent and useful than the uninspiring national “debate” on health care thus far.

PODCAST

The first guest is Tevi Troy, an Orthodox Jewish influencer

The Hon. Tevi Troy, PhD Tevi Troy is the CEO of the American Health Policy Institute and the author of the new book Shall We Wake the President? Two Centuries of Disaster Management from the Oval Office, (Lyons, 2016), as well as the best-selling book, What Jefferson Read, Ike Watched, and Obama Tweeted: 200 Years of Popular Culture in the White House, (Regnery, 2013). From 2007 to 2009, Dr. Troy was the Deputy Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services – the second in command and chief operating officer of the largest civilian department in the federal government, with a $716 billion annual budget and 67,000 employees. Dr. Troy has led U.S. government delegations around the world, including two health delegations to Israel while serving as Deputy Secretary of HHS. After receiving his Ph.D. in American Civilization from the University of Texas, Dr. Troy dedicated a dozen years to public service, working at senior levels in the U.S. House of Representatives, the U.S. Senate, executive agencies, and the White House. Before coming to HHS, Dr. Troy served as Deputy Assistant to the President for domestic policy. He also served as the White House Jewish Liaison, acting as President Bush’s main adviser on Jewish issues and the administration’s point person with the Jewish Community. After leaving government service, Dr. Troy became a Senior Fellow at Hudson Institute, where he remains an Adjunct Fellow. Dr. Troy appears frequently on television and radio to discuss health care, presidential history, and other issues, and is a contributing editor at Washingtonian. 28

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FEATURES

Jewish Orgs: Philanthropy will not be enough without Medicaid and ADA By Suzanne Pollak One-hundred-eighty disability advocates lobbied Congress on February 2, the seventh annual Jewish Disability Advocacy Day, expressing their support for the preservation of Medicaid and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Activists involved in helping people who have developmental, physical and/ or mental disabilities gathered together to see how they could best help everyone to be included in society and become active participants in the Jewish community. Advocacy Day “was important last year, and it will be important next year,” said Rabbi Jonah Pesner, director of the Religious Action Center (RAC), the Reform Jewish movement’s social action organization. “Including everyone in Jewish and daily life is a core Jewish value,” he said. “We need to keep improving, not just hold the line. I think that is one of the hallmarks of the United States, that we keep building on programs.” It is particularly important to remain vigilant this year, “because there is so much turbulence in the political system,” said Pesner. The RAC and the Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) were the main sponsors of the day-long event. Participants listened to eight congress members and several disability experts before breaking up into small groups to lobby 50 members of congress. “I think that the thing that impressed me the most was the fact that you have so many people there, from Chabad down to the non-affiliated. Everybody is sitting together, working together for one common cause, with the respect I find in very few places,” said Batya Jacob, director of educational support services for Yachad, a division of the Orthodox Union. “We all work together, because we all know the only way we will succeed is to work together,” said Jacob, who

has attended Advocacy Day for the past three years. The two themes of the day involved the preservation of Medicaid and the ADA. Jonathan Westin, JFNA’s senior director of health initiatives, urged attendees not to be afraid. “There is a movement to cut Medicaid costs, which is understandable,” he said, but turning Medicaid into a block grant program or capping the program’s funds is not the way to go. Under a block grant, or a per capita limit, fewer people would be served. If all the cuts that are being talked about are adopted, Westin expressed skepticism that everyone in the audience will be able to continue working and heading programs. “Philanthropy can’t make that up,” he said.

The Jewish community needs to move beyond making their buildings accessible and toward including everyone in programs and celebrations Dara Baldwin, senior public policy analyst for the National Disability Rights Network, spoke of possible changes to the Americans with Disabilities Act, including one that would place several additional burdens on those filing a civil action for an accessibility violation. A proposed bill in the House of Representatives shifts the burden of ensuring compliance to those with disabilities, rather than the business owners. “Go out there and fight this,” Baldwin told the advocates. “The best way to do that,” said Barbara Weinstein, associate director at the

If all the cuts that are being talked about are adopted, Westin expressed skepticism that everyone in the audience will be able to continue working and heading programs. "Philanthropy can’t make that up," he said. RAC, is to “share your stories. Make Congress understand it’s not just about numbers, it’s about our lives.” As chaplain at Jewish Foundation for Group Homes, Linda Yitzchak appreciated the advice. Describing herself as “not a political person,” advocacy day helped her become informed, she said. “I think this year is even more critical than in the past, now that the three branches of government are all controlled by the Republican party.” JFGH residents are aware of what is going on politically. “They feel in jeopardy. They are very scared, uncertain, and they don’t want to go backward,” Yitzchak said. Steve Rakitt, CEO of the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, appreciates the focus that Jewish Disability Advocacy Day places on issues pertinent to those with disabilities. The Jewish community needs to move beyond making their buildings accessible and toward including everyone in programs and celebrations. “Inclusion is not just a ramp,” Rakitt said. “It’s a mindset, and a set of actions.” “We have made tremendous strides, we have a way to go.” There is a real concern that the disability community will be left behind, especially if Medicaid becomes a blockgrant program, said Rakitt, who is hearing impaired. Also addressing the advocates was Rabbi Levi Shemtov, executive vice president of American Friends of Lubavitch, who said that every person “has a diamond within them” and must be treated with respect.

Benjamin Dubin, who represents the Associated in Baltimore on the JFNA Disabilities Committee, is also concerned. “There is still a lot to be done in our community.” All Jews can’t learn about Judaism when a building is not handicap-accessible or there is no special equipment for the hearing impaired, he said. Besides conveying their wishes to individual congress members, the group was addressed by several politicians, many of whom either had a disability or had a family member with one. Rep. Jamie Raskin, (D-Md.), told the crowd that it had “a strong ally” in him. “We are simply not going to let anyone come in and rip [the Affordable Care Act] all up without any plan,” he said. Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) said it was Congress’s job to make sure everyone has equal opportunities and can do their best. He vowed “to be on full alert” to proposed changes to Medicaid and the ADA. Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Tx.), who is on what he called Obamacare and has two children with disabilities, urged everyone to give any new proposals a chance. “Changing Medicaid doesn’t automatically mean cutting Medicaid,” he said. He favors individual states, taking the lead in providing benefits for their residents. Also speaking were Reps. Brian Fitzpatrick (R-Pa.), David Joyce (R-Ohio), Jim Langevin (D-R.I.), and Cathy McMorris Rogers (R-Wash.). Suzanne Pollak is the senior writer/editor at Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington. She was a reporter at The Courier Post in New Jersey and The Washington Jewish Week, and she now writes for The Montgomery Sentinel.

Send us your best #fakenews items and articles for us to include in the Purim #fakenews section! Submissions should be sent to editor@kolhabirah.com WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

LEARNING FROM HISTORY

Fighting for Israel — With One Arm Yosef Trumpeldor, the disabled Zionist hero by Rafael Medoff Yosef Trumpeldor lived a life of seeming contradictions. He was an assimilated Jew who became one of the most famous figures in Zionist history; a pacifist who is best remembered for his military career, and a man who, despite a significant physical disability, chose to return to the battlefield again and again. Trumpeldor was born in Czarist Russia in 1880, just months before the onset of a three-year wave of more than 200 anti-Jewish pogroms. The violence offered a harsh lesson in the hazards of Jewish statelessness. Like many young Russian Jews of that generation, the teenage Trumpeldor took an interest in Zionism—but also in the pacifism and communalism of the philosopher Leo Tolstoy. Trumpeldor “did not have a trace of militarism in his character,” writes Professor Anita Shapira, a leading Israeli historian. Because his father had served in the Russian army, Trumpeldor’s family was permitted to reside in Piatigorsk, which was outside the Pale of Settlement to which most Jews were restricted. Young Trumpeldor received no Jewish education and was unfamiliar with Hebrew, although he was fluent in Yiddish. In 1902, he was drafted into the army and soon found himself on the front lines in the Russo-Japanese War. In August 1904, he was seriously wounded by shrapnel during the battle for the Port Arthur fortress, and his left arm had to be amputated.

As he lay dying, Trumpeldor uttered what would become among the most famous words in Zionist history: “No matter; it is good to die for our country Despite his disability, Trumpeldor insisted on returning to the battlefield. Although it was extremely unusual for Jews to be awarded the rank of officer, Trumpeldor was promoted to junior corporal and was put in charge of a platoon. With the Russians’ surrender of Port Arthur in January 1905, Trumpeldor was among 185 soldiers taken prisoner by the Japanese. It was in a Japanese POW camp that Trumpeldor first found himself immersed in a close-knit community of ethnically identifying eastern European Jews. Trumpeldor’s year as a prisoner appears to have transformed him as a Jew. He established a Society of Jewish Prisoners of War, of which he was elect-

ed chairman. He organized a Purim celebration and Passover seders, as well as a library, classes in various subjects, and even a fundraising event for the nascent Jewish National Fund. Trumpeldor also contributed regularly to a weekly newspaper that he and other Zionist-minded prisoners wrote by hand and printed on the camp’s mimeograph machine. It was the first Jewish newspaper ever published in Japan. Trumpeldor’s Zionist activity intensified after his return to civilian life, and by 1912 he was ready to put his Zionism into practice. Arriving in Turkish-ruled Palestine that year, Trumpeldor and a small group of likeminded pioneers joined the Migdal farm, a fledgling Jewish settlement in the Galilee, on the site of what had been a Jewish town in biblical times. (One British visitor to the area in 1879 reported seeing a gravesite that was said to be that of Dina, daughter of the biblical patriarch Yaakov; but no signs of it remain.) While doing research in a French archive several years ago, the Israeli filmmaker Yaakov Gross discovered a grainy video clip of Migdal in 1913, which contains the only existing footage of Trumpeldor. It can be viewed at http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL4z3IOIP-U. At 0:45, Trumpeldor, distinctive because of his handicap, is briefly seen pushing a plough. When the Migdal farming project broke up, Trumpeldor plunged back into the world of Zionist community organizing. He traveled to Europe as a Zionist emissary, served as a delegate to the Eleventh Zionist Congress, and established Zionist groups in Russia. He spent much of 1915 in Egypt, seeking recruits for the Jewish Legion, a fighting force within the British army that participated in World War One. Trumpeldor saw action at Gallipoli as the Legion’s second-in-command. Trumpeldor returned to Eretz Yisrael–now ruled by the British–in 1919. In a letter to a friend at the time, he summarized his Zionist ethos: “We need people ready to serve at any cost at whatever task Palestine requires… Is there a wheel lacking? I am that wheel. Nails, screws, a block? Take me. Must the land be dug? I will dig it. Is there shooting to be done, are soldiers needed? I will enlist. Policemen, doctors, lawyers, teachers, water-carriers? If you please, I am ready to do it all. I am not a person. I am the pure embodiment of service, prepared for anything. I have no ties. I know only one command: Build.” Thus it is not surprising that when Trumpeldor heard that the Upper Galilee settlement of Tel Hai needed workers, he immediately volunteered. Those were turbulent times for Jews in the north of Palestine, with frequent Arab terrorist attacks on the small, scattered Jewish communities there. On March 1, 1920, Arabs

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

launched an all-out assault on Tel Hai. Six of the Jewish defenders, including Trumpeldor, were killed. As he lay dying, Trumpeldor uttered what would become among the most famous words in Zionist history: “No matter; it is good to die for our country.” The last stand at Tel Hai, and Trumpeldor’s dying words, became an inspiration to the Zionist movement. “This was the first time in Jewish history for two thousand years that Jews had preferred to die in battle rather than to retreat,” Professor Shapira notes. Yosef Haim Brenner, an early Zionist intellectual and ardent advocate of Jewish-Arab coexistence,

one peculiar and slightly amusing modern-day Israeli quarrel, and so it is with the Trumpeldor story. Cities throughout Israel have streets named after Trumpeldor, but the one in Jerusalem, situated in the Nachlaot neighborhood, was originally (in 1948) called Ha-Gidem, which literally means “The Amputee.” At the time, that phrase, in context, was understood in an admiring, even affectionate sense. But in the 1950s, some of the neighbors began to feel that the focus on Trumpeldor’s handicap was unkind to his memory, and they asked the Jerusalem Municipality to change the name to Trumpeldor Street.

Is there a wheel lacking? I am that wheel. Nails, screws, a block? Take me. Must the land be dug? I will dig it. Is there shooting to be done, are soldiers needed? I will enlist. Policemen, doctors, lawyers, teachers, water-carriers? If you please, I am ready to do it all. I am not a person. I am the pure embodiment of service, prepared for anything. I have no ties. I know only one command: Build. hailed Trumpeldor as “a symbol of pure heroism.” He described Trumpeldor’s last words as “the exalted call of the onearmed hero.” Brenner himself was murdered by Palestinian Arab terrorists the following year. Trumpeldor lived in an era before the major right-vs.-left ideological splits in the Zionist movement. His death “plunged the whole Yishuv into mourning,” Israel’s first president, Chaim Weizmann, noted. Subsequently, Trumpeldor was embraced as a hero by both camps. On the right, the nationalist Betar youth movement is named after him. (“Betar” is an acronym for “Brit Yosef Trumpeldor.”) On the left, Labor Zionist youth movements organize pilgrimages to Trumpeldor’s gravesite every year on the 11th of Adar, which is known as Tel Hai Day. Of course, no chapter in Zionist history would be complete without at least

The problem? Labor Zionist veterans who lived there were accustomed to spelling the Zionist hero’s name with a tet, while local Betar alumni, for their own reasons, spelled it with a taf. City officials, unable to resolve the orthographic dispute, left the street name as Ha-Gidem. Several decades later, when the original disputants were long gone, municipal officials decided to finally change the name. But now a new problem arose: the various businesses located on the street demanded that the government pay for printing up letterhead and business cards with their new address. Evidently the city decided that was a small price for properly honoring the memory of a Zionist giant. Dr. Rafael Medoff is director of The David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies, and author or editor of 16 books about Jewish history, including The Historical Dictionary of Zionism.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

Friendship Circle Marathon in Miami By Natasha Nadel Friendship Circle is an international organization that provides fun, friendship and Jewish community for children with special needs. A few weeks ago, 225 participants in the Friendship Circle’s marathon and half marathon in Miami raised over half a million dollars for Friendship Circle programming in their communities. For many Kol HaBirah readers, this event benefited your friends and neighbors, maybe even your family. For me, now returned from my second year of walking the half marathon for Friendship Circle of Maryland, I am more certain than ever that this will truly be an annual event in my life. Over $67,000 was raised for our local Maryland chapter alone, an affiliate of Chabad Lubavitch of Maryland directed by Rabbi Mendel and Chana Kaplan. In fact, out of all the teams around the country, Maryland ranked third in fundraising and was only behind the much larger teams of Miami-Dade (FL) and Brooklyn. The 20 Maryland Team participants included several types of duos: mother and daughter; husband and wife; grandmother and grandson; and grandmother and mom of a Friendship Circle member with special needs.

Dana Ginsburg finishes the full marathon. (PHOTO COURTESY DANA GINSBURG)

Several George Washington University students joined Team Maryland, including Carly Meisel, co-founder and director of marketing for Brooklyn Sandwich Co., a glatt kosher food truck in Washington, D.C. Bethesda cookbook author Paula Shoyer and I rounded out the foodie portion of the team analyzing each of the numerous and plentiful gourmet meals served at our hotel on Miami’s Biscayne Bay. The mom of a Central New Jersey Friendship Circle participant opened the weekend with a profound statement. “This organization does Hashem’s work around the country,” she said, describing it as “the embodiment of acceptance and love in our community, which every person deserves.” Her son Zachary’s birthday was the same day of the marathon. “Let him in-

spire you to take every step Sunday, for each step we were told he was not going to take,” she said. Friendship Circle provided an inspirational Shabbat, full of speakers who talked about life before and after their family’s participation in Friendship Circle, and the difference that support has made to every member of their family, not only the child with special needs.

Team Maryland participants, mother and daughter Marcelle and Naomi Garih. (PHOTO CREDIT: AURIT KATAN AND LEVIK HERTZEL)

The most powerful moment of the weekend occurred during the pre-race banquet after Shabbat. We watched a short film, “Olivia’s Cycle,” about a New Jersey girl’s mitzvah project that provided bicycles for children with special needs, specifically made for each of their abilities, complete with a license plate with their name imprinted on it. She paired her event with the send- off of three cyclists who rode across the country to raise money for Friendship Circle. Joseph Volfman, a young man who has cerebral palsy, received his first bicycle and experienced his first bicycle ride thanks to the Friendship Circle event. In the film, he tells the camera, “I felt the wind blowing on my face and I felt like everyone else. It was one of the best things that I ever experienced in my life.” His mom also said that the specialized bicycle was strengthening his leg muscles. “It changed our life completely,” she said. When the movie was over, a confident 17-year-old rolled his wheelchair to the front of the stage, took the microphone and said, “My name is Joe Volfman.” “Yes, the same Joe from five years ago that you just watched on the video screen.” The audience was stunned. Talk about making an entrance–– and clearly showing the transformative effect that Friendship Circle can have on program participants. “My disability doesn’t stop me from doing what I love in any way, shape or form,” Volfman said. “I currently compete in track, field, archery, swimming, power lifting, cycling and mono skiing AND, I am a Paralympics hopeful in 2020. I have no boundaries, I set no limits, and I make sure to always shatter stereotypes. Without you, without the Friendship Circle, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

“My disability doesn’t stop me from doing what I love in any way, shape or form,” Volfman said. “Tomorrow, my story will come to a complete circle,” he continued. “The Friendship Circle not only gave me a comfortable and awesome bike, but they also provided me with the sense of freedom and independence that changed my life forever.” “Tomorrow, when you can’t run anymore, or you are tired— it may be hard, it may be painful, but you must realize what you’re running for, who you’re running for, and why. It’s to make sure kids with disabilities have equal opportunities, and together we can prove what we are made of and how we roll… LET’S DO THIS!” Volfman used a hand-pedaled bike to complete the half-marathon on Sunday. After the race, he wrote in an e-mail, “I never thought I’d be able to accomplish what I did and so this goes to show that nothing is impossible. I’m going to continue training hard and hopefully cycle in the Paralympics in 2020.” “The people who did the Miami marathon are true inspirations,” he wrote, “and I would not be able to be where I am if people didn’t do what they did in the marathon. Each and every person persevered and overcame their struggles. That’s why I ride.”

Team Solika at the dinner (PHOTO COURTESY OF NATASHA NADEL)

The race began in the dark, early Sunday morning. Despite the pouring rain, we were prepared: physically from months of training, and mentally from the whole weekend of moving and motivating programming. Mother and daughter duo Marcelle and Noemi Garih wore Team Friendship jerseys with “Team Solika” on the back. Solika is Noemi’s daughter, and her Friendship Circle friend happens to be the daughter of Team Maryland captain Dana Ginsburg of Potomac. Noemi said that through the cold and rain during the race, “My biggest inspiration was picturing Solika and remembering how long and hard she worked to be able to take her first step and the look of pride on her face when she finally did.”

Team Solika at the dinner (PHOTO COURTESY OF NATASHA NADEL)

One tangential benefit of Friendship Circle activities is the respite it provides to parents of children with special needs. In addition, Noemi said, “I look forward to Sundays when Solika either has Torah Circle or Birthday Club. Her sister is constantly invited to birthday parties, and so it gives Solika a chance to also have an activity.” For many participants, Friendship Circle is the only source of their Jewish education outside the home. “Solika learns so much from FC,” Noemi said. “Since she goes to public school, we love to be able to send her to Jewish activities so that she can learn and enhance her Jewish upbringing. It warms my heart every time she washes her hands and starts to recite al netilat yadayim.” Numerous members of the Maryland team hosted fundraisers from Silver Spring to Gaithersburg. Ginsburg said that building the team as team captain the past two years has helped build awareness of Friendship Circle in the community, leading more families to become involved and more teens to volunteer to work with participants. “I’m so happy to be involved in an organization that strives to make the community a more accepting place for all regardless of our differences and abilities,” said Ginsburg. Several local businesses and online retailers participated in fundraisers for Team Maryland. These included: Ben Yehuda Pizza, Cafe Shawreen, Krispy Kreme, Sunflower Bakery, Max’s Kosher Café, Zengo Cycle, Five Below, LuLaRoe, Kosher Casual, Stella & Dot and Road Runner Sports, together with Shalom Kosher and Moti’s Market bake sale donations. Around 250 teens currently volunteer for the Friendship Circle of Maryland, serving approximately 100 participant families. To learn more, go to www. fcmd.org. Natasha Nadel is a mom, journalist and author of “The Healthy Mama’s Guide to Feeding Your Family Well – Simply and Sanely!” and “The Healthy Family, Healthy You Cookbook.” She has contributed to over 20 national and regional newspapers, magazines, and blogs, including The Washington Post's “On Faith and On Parenting,” Lilith, JTA, Na’amat Woman, The Jewish Press, Jewish Food Experience and Kveller.com.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

Growing Up with Gregory By Jessica Hilfer Being the sister of a brother with disabilities is not difficult, but having the correct attitude about the situation–– that is the real challenge. Gregory, my brother, is without a doubt my hero. Gregory was born three years before me, but many of his significant milestones took place simultaneously with mine. My parents told me that I was the first one to actually walk, and a few weeks later Gregory took his first real steps off the wall. I think our roles have definitely reversed; now he inspires me to be courageous and to take chances. I do not remember when I made my first discovery that my brother was “different.” One of the hardest parts for me growing up was that he had this undiagnosed condition. We still don’t have a name for it. He has a physical condition called hydrocephalus, which basically means he has special shunts in his head that prevent swelling from fluid in his brain. In terms of his mental condition, though, we don’t know what he has: he is non-verbal, and we don’t know what he understands or doesn’t understand.

I like when he squeezes my hand and holds it up to his cheek. This is how he says, "I love you" I never knew how to explain all of this to my friends when I was younger. If his condition had a name, then I could just say one sentence and people would understand. Now that I am an adult and can reflect on my childhood years, I feel grateful that his condition comes free of a diagnosis. I get to share about my brother with people by telling them about him as a human being; he’s not just another person with a generic condition. Gregory doesn’t communicate with words. He makes many interesting noises, similar to the babbling of a baby. There are a few distinct babbles my family and I have heard repeatedly over the years, our favorite being “Ed is home.” Ed is my Dad, and Gregory is his biggest fan. He will follow my Dad around the house wherever he goes, even to the bathroom! Gregory is also a big jokester; he knows exactly what to do to push people’s buttons. He enjoys sliding on our dining room chairs across the room and sitting directly in front of

the TV. He also knows how to change the channel, and has an advanced understanding of how our television operates. He also enjoys pulling my hair, as most big brothers enjoy doing. I like when he squeezes my hand and holds it up to his cheek. This is how he says, “I love you.” He communicates in other ways, too. His favorite activity is anything and everything that involves the car. When he decides it’s a good time for a car ride he will put on his socks, shoes and coat all by himself. Then he finds my father’s coat and brings it to him, and does his best puppy-eyed face. I have a lot of memories of car rides with Gregory growing up. We always had our assigned seats: he sat behind the passenger seat and I sat behind the driver. My favorite part of road trips was sharing my pillow with Gregory when we were both tired. I would place my pillow in the middle of the two

seats and rest my head halfway, leaving just enough space for his to fit. He would eventually put his head down too, and I would excitedly whisper to my parents to look at how adorable we were. I remember “sneaking” into his bedroom when we were both younger. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, back when I did not sleep in, I used to climb over his gate (a safety precaution for when he woke up early) and just hang out with my big brother. I don’t even remember what we would do, but I felt pretty rebellious climbing over that gate. A very special moment I will always remember is when we had a bar mitzvah for Gregory. On Friday night, the rabbi of our shul led a small service and said a few remarks about Gregory. Gregory decided to sit right on the feet of Mrs.

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 35

Congregation Beth El Hosts Panel Discussion About Inclusive Employment By Kol HaBirah Staff BETHESDA (Md.) –– There was a lot of activity at Congregation Beth El on the morning of Sunday February 13. There must have been 500 children in the Hebrew school, with many of their parents as well, connecting with their Jewish tradition. In addition to this usual gathering, however, a panel discussion on inclusive employment was taking place in a separate room. The first speaker was Ken Karbeling, the general manager of America Reprographics, Inc., a Rockville-based company that offers a variety of reprographic solutions including traditional copying, scanning and printing as well as a variety of online tools. He talked about his company’s collaboration with The Ivymount School, a Rockville school that strives to help children, students and young adults with disabilities achieve their highest level of development and independence, and have the students work at his company. Karbeling went ahead with his decision to have Ivymount students work at his company despite the initial skepticism of co-workers with concerns ranging from liability issues to the disruptive noises the students might make. He soon found the arrangement to be beneficial not just for the students, but for his employees as well. The staff developed a sense of pride after showing the students how to perform tasks like making FedEx tubes, and they came to appre-

ciate the presence of the students. They appreciated being addressed by name and they marveled at the dedication, focus and progress of the students. Ken said that he wouldn’t have previously described his staff as “kind, gentle, patient and nurturing,” but that is indeed the affect that this experience had on them.

Ken Karbeling, Justice Bernstein, Lisa Handelman, and a few of the other panelists fielding questions.

As for the students, they developed both “soft skills and hard skills,” learning how to conduct themselves in a professional environment and developing expertise in a variety of tasks such as data entry and filing, as well as bonding with the employees. Karbeling has worked with 30-45 Ivymount students over the years and while he says he is not sure we “are making a huge difference,” he is quietly setting the standard for other small businesses to follow. He has met with other like-minded businesses about expand-

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ing this idea; he believes it is important for others to follow suit and invites anyone interested to visit his office and observe the work environment. The next speaker was the impressive Justice Richard Bernstein. Justice Bernstein is the first blind Judge to be elected to the Michigan Supreme Court. He is also a marathon runner, a triathlete and former Michiganian of the Year and a National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame inductee, according to an article by Marci Ruderman in Congregation Beth El’s “The Scroll.” He had an impressive air about him; you could sense he had a heightened awareness of his surroundings, and he was articulate and polished. He had declined to be the sole speaker, and instead asked that a few others–– including Ken and Lisa Handelman, Community Disability Inclusion Specialist for the Jewish Federation–– join him as part of a panel discussion. During the discussion, Justice Bernstein stressed the importance of working extremely hard to earn your position and to avoid complaining or feeling entitled to your specific circumstance. He talked about how he would work 15-hour days to earn his position and he utilizes one additional clerk to help him memorize his cases so that he can adequately defend the law to the best of his ability. He exclaimed that it was his duty to make sure that the others on the court didn’t feel delayed or inhibited by his presence. After all, if they didn’t end up valuing his opinion, he wouldn’t be able to appropri-

Ken Karbeling talking about his inclusion employment practices to the crowd

ately represent the law, which would not be fair to his constituents. Justice Bernstein wrapped up by talking about an initiative he has been working on in Israel to help the IDF incorporate people with various disabilities. Other organizations can learn much from his strategic implementation of the initiative. He coordinated joint marathon-type events to demonstrate that folks with disabilities are in fact highly capable, and he started with the Israeli Air Force–– the premier division of the IDF–– so that others would follow suit. This event was an inspiring reminder of how far people can go and how much can be done to both learn from and help others continue to fulfill their potential. Ken Karbeling, General Manager of America Reprographics, Inc., can be reached at ken@amerepro.com and Nancy Frasche, CESP, Student Employment Coordinator of The Ivymount School and Programs can be reached at nfrasche@ ivymount.org. They thank Andrea Glazer, Development Director of Congregation Beth El, and Lisa Handelman for arranging this event.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

Hashem’s Hidden Gems By Rabbi Sholom Hoffman The anticipation and excitement are building–– you have waited months for this special day. Finally, your child is born as you hear the cry of life on the other side of the room. You are emotional, on a high at having witnessed one of Hashem’s greatest miracles. The dreams and expectations you have now are normal for most parents to have. It could be anything from smiling, crawling or babbling to walking, talking and socializing with others. It can extend to going to buy an item from a store independently, hanging out with friends, graduating from elementary or high school, going to a friend’s bar or bat mitzvah–– the list can go on and on. These are activities that most children will be able to do. However, when a child is born with a special need or special challenge, these milestones may not be met, or may be met in a modified way at a later time in life. As a parent with multiple children with special challenges, my wife and I go through periods of extreme highs when, with tremendous efforts, milestones are met, and the lows when we realize certain milestones may never be met. What is the Torah’s perspective and hashkafa (philosophy) on navigating through these challenges? How should people with these challenges– parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and teachers– practically focus on the positives of growing through these obstacles? What are some of the positive lessons that you can learn when you observe and converse with a person with these special differences?

Another practical important lesson that we can learn from these special neshamos is to appreciate every tiny step of growth. Never take anything for granted. The Maharal (Rav Yehudah Loëw zt”l) explains in Givuras Hashem, chapter 28, that the Torah says that Moshe Rabbeinu told Hashem that he couldn’t be the leader of the Jewish people and take them out of Egypt since he had a “heavy mouth and tongue.” Rav Loëw asks, out of all the deficiencies that a person may have, why was Moshe deficient specifically regarding his speech? He explains that Moshe was not as connected to the physical world as other human beings and the part of the body that connects the physical body to the neshama (soul) is the tongue and the ability to speak. Therefore, this deficiency demonstrated Moshe’s extremely high level of spirit-

uality and, as a result, Moshe had difficulty speaking. Children and adults who have these challenges are viewed by Hashem, His Torah and our Sages as lofty souls who are on extremely high spiritual levels and in need of less rectification in this world. Rav Moshe Shapiro zt”l wrote a letter to a student who became a father of a son who was born with Down’s syndrome. “Since the birth of your son, I believe that if, with G-d’s help, you will succeed in the challenge that was given to you, then you will be presented with an incomparable gift. This child has within him the capability to accomplish that which no one else in the world could do.” Each neshama is sent to this world with the purpose of rectifying something specific to it. Most people are sent to improve themselves, and also to affect their surroundings according to their abilities. There are some neshamos that, in of themselves, need no correction. Their entire purpose is to correct and better their surroundings. A neshama of this grand stature was sent to your home. Accept it with much love, and assist it to perform the function it was sent. May G-d help you to carry out your role to enable this neshama to fulfill its role.” One concrete valuable lesson that we can learn from these special human beings is that they are a tremendous vehicle for chesed (kindness) that is important for them and even more important for the giver. As Jewish people, we have a mitzvah to emulate Hashem. Just like Hashem is compassionate, kind and slow to anger, we must act the same. These special neshamos are here to help others fulfill their potential and mission. The love, time, patience and caring that is given to these special neshamos helps mold and create an environment where the givers can grow. My older son Eli, who is on the autism spectrum, is an 11-year veteran of Camp HASC (Hebrew Academy for Special Children). The staff is dedicated and caring beyond words. One year we were supposed to have three staff members come to our house for the Shabbos before Purim. Unfortunately, they had to cancel their plans due to the weather. We were all disappointed. That year Purim was on a Sunday. As I peered out of my front window on Sunday morning, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Three staff members drove from New York to visit our son for two hours because of the care and love they felt towards a lofty soul who probably didn’t realize what they had done. In our community, we have the privilege of having a wonderful school called Sulam, housed in the Berman Hebrew Academy, which provides appropriate secular and Jewish education to children with special needs. They mainstream the children into the regular Berman Hebrew

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Academy classes when it is appropriate. My second son Shua is a proud student of the Sulam program. He loves going to school and is appreciative of the opportunity to learn and grow in such a fantastic environment. It is difficult for him to read and participate in davening at shul. However, with the encouragement and guidance of the staff of Sulam, he has been able to lead the davening for Mincha the past two years. Shua takes tremendous pride in this accomplishment.

This year, he took this confidence and sense of belonging to a shul a step further. Each week he has taken on the responsibility to set up the Kiddush cup for Kiddush on Friday night and Havdalah after Shabbos. At times, he is able to remind the congregation to insert special additional prayers during davening. This couldn’t have been accomplished without the help from above, and the self confidence instilled in him by the care and dedication of the staff of Sulam. Another practical important lesson that we can learn from these special neshamos is to appreciate every tiny step of growth. Never take anything for granted. Every breath and second of life is a gift. The Jewish people are called Yehudim. Rav Hutner zt”l, the Rosh Hayeshiva of Yeshivas Chaim Berlin, writes that the word Yehudah comes from the word hodah which means to admit that we need the help of Hashem for everything we do. This obligates us to thank Hashem for everything. When my son was five years old, we had an appointment with a doctor of genetics at the Kennedy Kreiger Institute in Baltimore. The assessment and results of the appointment were quite disappointing and discouraging. As we were waiting on that cold March rainy day for my car to be pulled around from valet parking, I was deep in thought. Why couldn’t we have received more encouraging news? Hashem, please show me a sign that all will be okay. A few minutes later I looked up to see two therapists with a boy approximately 10 years old, waiting for his van

to be pulled around. The therapists decided to use their time to help little Tom practice walking. They began to encourage him to take steps as they stood by his side to support him. He was unsure of himself and was unstable until they helped guide him. Tom began to walk a few steps with the support and after a few steps, his therapists let go and Tom was walking on his own. The therapists began to cheer as they all saw months of practice pay off. Tom looked and felt like a million dollars. The sign that I hoped for was in front of my eyes. Tom, the 10-yearold, was struggling to walk a few steps. Yes, my son had and has many challenges. However, he was half Tom’s age and he walked well without any assistance. I went home humbled, appreciative and counting my blessings from Hashem. My wife always says to my children that we are all millionaires. They give her a look and question her. She proceeds to ask them, “Would you give up one of your eyes for a million dollars?” They respond with an emphatic no, and the message is very clear. Last but not least, we can learn a critical lesson from Basya, the daughter of Pharaoh. She came to the Nile River to bathe and saw a basket by the reeds. When she heard the baby cry, it was the sound of a young lad. Rashi explains that the basket was out of her reach and when she stretched her arm as far as it could go, miraculously her arm extended to the child. The Kotzker Rebbe explains that we can learn from this incident that a Jew is responsible to do his or her best, and the remaining assistance will come from Hashem. When my son Shua was 12, we were contemplating his bar mitzvah plans. He loves learning Torah, and we decided that he would attempt to complete a mesechta (tractate) of the Mishna in honor of his bar mitzvah. Every Sunday morning he would learn with his Rebbe, Rabbi Lichtenstein. After completing and reviewing each perek (chapter), I brought him to my rebbe, Harav Shraga Neubeger shilta to test him on the perek. He knew the material of all four chapters quite well and he felt amazing after the completion of the mesechta. This was a springboard for him to continue learning with his rebbe and several other peers a few times a week. At this point, he has almost completed an entire section of mishnayos. I could have never imagined that he was capable of accomplishing what he set out to do. With the help of Hashem, a practical goal and a positive attitude, there is so much you can accomplish. Rabbi Sholom Hoffman and his wife Peninah are proud parents of three wonderful children, two of whom have special needs. He has been a rebbe at the Torah School of Greater Washngiton for over two decades and has a master’s degree in special education. Rabbi Hoffman studied and learned at Ner Israel Rabbinical College. He is a close student of Rav Shraga Neuberger shlita.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

My Safta: How Her Faltering Memory Taught Me Lessons in Life By Bari Perlmutter My Safta Esther Malka z”l was a true warrior. For my entire life, up until this past August, my safta had been fighting to live. Dementia struck her when I was still in diapers, and continued to slowly sap her abilities for the 23 years that followed. As my brain was slowly developing through my toddler and childhood years, hers was slowly declining. I couldn’t completely understand what this meant, but I tried my best to somehow accept it.

In elementary school, for instance, my most challenging subject was reading. However, whenever my safta was at our house, I would take a pile of books to her bed. For hours, we would sit together and read stories. Many would imagine this scene as an eight-year-old girl reading out loud while her grandmother helped her with any words she couldn’t pronounce. In my childhood, however, this scene was the reverse. My grandmother would be the one reading, and I was the one helping her along. Since I was going to school every day to learn, I believed that if I just taught my grandmother this basic skill, she would remember how to do it again. I’m not quite sure when this reading phase ended, but I spent much of my childhood years trying to teach my safta anything I could. Music was always something that connected us. I would sit with my grandmother at the piano bench and show her how to play. As my safta’s abilities became more and more limited, we had to move her to a facility that provided more care. We moved her seven times in a span of about 20 years. Each move was an attempt to meet her increasing needs. At every move, we looked for the piano. My mother would be the first one to locate it, as she knew how much my safta loved to hear me play and how playing for her helped me connect with her.

One of my favorite memories is how I sat my safta on the couch next to the piano while I would play. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time, as she hummed along with every note. My grandmother couldn’t remember any of our names, but somehow was able to remember the exact tune of “Yesterday” by the Beatles and, of course, “Hatikvah.” In her final nursing home, where she became nonverbal and her physical abilities were very limited, I would look forward to hearing her sing “Hatikvah” every time I came to visit. When I would call my mom from college, in the years when my grandmother could no longer speak, I would hear her humming “Hatikvah” in the background as my mother sat by her side. “Hatikvah” (The Hope,) was the very last song that she remembered. Even her aides caught on to the tune. I spent most of my life trying to teach my safta various skills, but it was only after her recent passing that I realized just how much she taught me. Making frequent visits to assisted-living facilities and nursing homes while I was growing up was not easy. Most of the residents living beside my grandmother were extremely ill, physically, mentally, or both. Often on my visits to my grandmother, we would hear yelling from one or more of the residents. They had limited control over what came out of their mouth and were often confused and scared. Residents would frequently ask us where they were, and we would assure them that they were home. We learned that the most important thing they needed was comforting and love. At times, my parents would tell me they thought I was too young to be exposed to such a heart-wrenching environment, but I assured them it was important for me to experience this with my family.

More important to me than the difficulty, visiting these homes was eye opening. I like to think my safta wanted us there to show us how important it is to embrace life and the ones we love. If an-

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

yone knew how to make the most of life, it was her. If you’ve ever seen a photograph of my beautiful safta, you know she was always beaming. Some people say it was unfortunate that I never saw my safta in full health, but I disagree. I saw a side of her that I wish more people could have seen. She acted with even more heart and soul because she would forget about everything else. She forgot details because they were hardly significant, especially when compared to what was important to her; family came first, and then came chocolate and shopping trips to Loehmann’s. Her memory loss was a source of sadness, sometimes laughter, but most importantly, it held a lesson to be learned. From before her decline and to the end of her life, anyone who knew her well knew my safta loved nothing more than the company of her loved ones. In the early years of her dementia, when she was more physically capable, she would wrap her arms around all of us when passing others, as if to say, “These are mine.” During our visits in her final nursing home, we would be in and out of her room at times. Whenever we would come back into the room, her eyes would light up. She would greet us anew, as if she hadn’t seen us in years, even though it had only been a few minutes. Yes, she forgot she had just seen us, but this taught us how important it is to embrace our loved ones every time we see them, like my safta did. These episodes made me laugh, but they also made me feel very loved, no matter how many times she did it. This continued even after she forgot our names, as our presence was enough to remind her she was with family. Be it before her decline or during, anyone who knew her well knew that she loved nothing more than the company of her loved ones. In the early years of her dementia, when she was more physically capable, she would wrap her arms around all of us while passing others, saying “these are mine.” I was fortunate to grow up visiting her frequently with my family. We would sit in the beautiful outdoors, listen to music, make music, and laugh. We all learned the importance of appreciating the little things in life and how to live in the present. I remember sitting at my mother’s vanity doing her makeup or painting her nails once she was unable to do it for herself anymore. She had such a love for beauty, and not in a superficial way, but in an almost spiritual way. Beauty takes the mundane and uplifts it. Because she lived in the moment, we learned how to pay attention to it when we otherwise would have looked past it. This love for beauty is something that my family and I always shared with my Safta and will continue to appreciate in her honor.

She loved unconditionally. Her situation created role models for my brother and I to look up to. The way my father cared for the needs of both my Ш and my mother throughout her illness was exceptional. My Safta loved him very much. Her face lit up every time he walked into the room. She loved my father as her own. The relationship that my mother had with her mother was inspiring. The dedication my mother had day in and day out to go to the nursing home to make sure her mother was comfortable was difficult for me to understand at times. Now I understand it. I learned what honoring one’s parents really means, no matter how difficult the task. My mother thought about her mother all the time, and made sure she was with her as often as she could be, until the last few moments of her life.

Through the power of love in G-d’s hands, my safta wouldn’t leave this world until she somehow knew that all of her children were safe and sound. Even through the dementia, she managed to stay true to herself, always caring for her children. Her love was fierce and her fighting spirit gave her the strength to hold on the extra two days until she knew that my brother’s surgery was successful and I arrived in New York safely to sit by her side. Only then did she giver herself permission to go peacefully. She spent her life teaching us how to love, and, without regret, we gave it to her as we loved her through her last breath.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

“Good Shabbos to You!” Enjoying a rich Jewish life as a disabled senior involves family and community. By Deborah Scheinberg In 1961, the chances of a cognitively disabled young man having a bar mitzvah were slim to none. Daniel Scheinberg, son of Samuel and Helen Scheinberg of College Park, Maryland, was fortunate to have parents who would not take no for an answer and equally fortunate to know Rabbi Morris Gordon. The Scheinbergs were pioneers in new territory. In those days, special education services or any services for special-needs children was very minimal; Daniel’s father would later create a Boy Scout Explorers Post for many young men like Dan, and he taught them many adaptive skills and provided them with many experiences that would serve them well in life. Sam Scheinberg convinced Rabbi Gordon of Mishkan Torah in Greenbelt (then known as the Prince George’s County JCC) to allow Daniel to have a bar mitzvah. Sam promised to work with his son on the brachot (blessings) and that he would be on the bimah with his son during his bar mitzvah Torah reading. Rabbi Gordon agreed that disabled individuals should be included in every aspect of Judaism. So it was that on the Shabbat of John F. Kennedy’s first inauguration, an equally auspicious event occurred: Daniel Schein-

It is also important to mention that Dan’s nieces and nephews have included their uncle in all family events, which is very fulfilling for him Growing Up with Gregory ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 32 Goldscheider, the rabbi’s wife. She was not bothered at all; she was more than happy to let him sit and seemed to interpret this gesture as a huge honor. Rabbi Goldscheider zt”l and his wife were both on Team Gregory. My attitude towards having a “special” brother was always positive. Learning to communicate without the power of speech is a very powerful lesson,

There are a few distinct babbles my family and I have heard repeatedly over the years, our favorite being ‘Ed is home.’ Ed is my Dad, and Gregory is his biggest fan

his parents. It is also important to mention that Dan’s nieces and nephews have included their uncle in all family events, which is very fulfilling for him. He resided with his parents until they both passed away. That is when we moved him up to New Jersey to be close to us and for Jerry and me to look after him. Rabbi Yisroel Tsvi Serebrowski and the entire congregation of Torah Links of South Jersey welcomed Daniel with open arms and he became a regular member of the minyan. After eight years of living in his own apartment with daily assistance from Jerry, Jerry and I realized that Dan needed to be part of a community of his own and needed to feel more independent and have a better quality of life. After much research, we found Homecrest House of Silver Spring, Maryland. Homecrest House is owned by the

community to lead the services on a rotating schedule,” said Doris Torti from the executive administrative office of Joe Podson House. Torti was also proud to mention all the Jewish art displayed throughout the three buildings and the special programs for Passover and Purim that the residents enjoy. We moved to Bethesda in 2015 after we both retired to be closer to Daniel. Rabbi Yehoshua Singer and the members of Am Hatorah Congregation of Bethesda have welcomed Dan with acceptance and inclusion. Every time he attends he is offered an aliyah, and as it has been for the last 25 years, Jerry goes up to assist him. When Rabbi Yehoshua Singer of Am Hatorah was contacted, he enthusiastically agreed that the personality of the shul is welcoming, and he works to elevate inclusiveness as part of the mission of the shul.

Daniel Scheinberg in his apartment. (PHOTO COURTESY OF DEBORAH SCHEINBERG)

berg had his bar mitzvah. While he was only able to chant the brachot with the assistance of his father, that day remains a very important milestone in his life. He still remembers the chants for aliyahs today, but is now assisted by his brother Jerry. It is probably not a coincidence that Jerry Scheinberg is a clinical psychologist and a retired director of special education services, with a career in Indiana and New Jersey that spanned over 42 years. In 1972, it was a kiddush Hashem that I married into the Scheinberg family and was able to see how much Dan loved his Jewish life and participated in Jewish life within the family. He loves Shabbat and is often heard trying to sing all of the melodies. If anyone phones him on Friday afternoon they will certainly hear his favorite greeting, “Good Shabbos to you!” Daniel has been an integral part of our life with myself and my husband Jerry and our two sons. He has been with us all of these years in every life cycle event and high holiday. In fact, it is notable that Dan is often emotionally moved and affected by prayer and melodies that remind him of Shabbat with

So it was that on the Shabbat of John F. Kennedy’s first inauguration, an equally auspicious event occurred: Daniel Scheinberg had his bar mitzvah community-based, non-profit National Capital B’nai B’rith Housing Foundation and is located on Homecrest Road. He was able to pass the screening in order to qualify for an apartment and services at the Robert Edwards Building. At Homecrest House, Daniel is part of a Jewish community. He has kosher meals in the dining room with his friends, attends Friday evening services conducted by volunteers in the social hall, and he participates in all other holiday services and activities there. Homecrest House has remained true to its mission, “dedicated to providing affordable housing and quality services to low income senior citizens and qualified disabled adults.” Dan is so proud of his apartment that he welcomes new prospective residents to tour it. “The Homecrest Hebrew Congregation is made up of residents who set up the room for services, raise funds for the kiddush, and find volunteers from the

“They have a very elevated soul, able to achieve their purpose in life without engaging in all aspects of the world,” he read aloud from a Jewish text. “In the ways that count they are more like us than unlike us. Same life. Same G-d. Same afterlife.” Daniel also enjoys going to synagogue with his sister Judith Berg, who resides in Rockville. It is with enormous thanks to Hashem that we have been able to assist and witness this special man’s truly fulfilling Jewish life and watch him connect to Hashem in ways we never guessed could happen. Deborah Scheinberg is a retired science teacher and astronomy professor. She received her Bachelors and Masters degrees of Science from Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. Born in Washington, D.C., Deborah married Jerry Scheinberg of College Park, Maryland, in 1972. The Scheinbergs raised two sons, Aaron and Joshua, in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, before moving to Bethesda, Maryland, in 2015. Both sons are military veterans.

and Gregory has taught many people how to connect without saying a single word. Patience is another skill that I had to develop very early on. I never felt that my needs were second-class. I naturally understood that Gregory had different needs than my own, and they needed to take priority at times. As I got older I learned to embrace his special ways and see potentially “embarrassing” situations through a humorous lens. I feel very privileged that G-d chose me out of all people to be Gregory’s sister. I feel blessed that I have been given the opportunity to have such a meaningful relationship with such a righteous individual. Jessica Hilfer grew up in North Bellmore, New York and is a graduate of the University of Maryland with a BA in psychology. She currently works as a Teaching Assistant at Shomrai Nursery, where she has been working since she graduated in May 2015. She enjoys learning Torah, reading Kol HaBirah from cover to cover and being the managing editor's roommate.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Sales Comparison Chart: Full Year

Recent Market Activity in Montgomery County

2016

2015

# AVERAGE DOM $% #% # AVERAGE DOM UNITS NET PRICE CHANGE CHANGE UNITS NET PRICE

SUBDIVISIONS Bradley Hills Brookville Knolls

25 36

$1.653M $477,828

56 44

-9.92% 9.75%

-3.85% -14.29%

26 42

$1.836M $435,362

79 60

Burnt Mills Dumont Oaks

28 23

$381,654 $374,248

47 42

3.70% -0.43%

12.00% 21.05%

25 19

$368,045 $375,879

47 69

Forest Knolls Hallowell

17 48

$400,998 $458,010

61 36

5.61% 13.32%

0.00% 41.18%

17 34

$379,707 $404,180

51 43

James Creek Kemp Mill Northwood Park Potomac

22 55 47 6

$462,829 $457,922 $422,146 $1.104M

40 40 69 31

4.47% 0.66% 9.39% -18.11%

-4.35% 30.95% -18.97% -14.29%

23 42 58 7

$443,016 $454,903 $385,922 $1.348M

48 53 53 72

Regency Estates Springbrook Forest

26 5

$660,513 $539,303

43 174

-1.47% -3.64%

-3.70% 0.00%

27 5

$670,394 $559,700

48 55

Tower Oaks Woodmoor

9 50

$670,344 $503,466

33 48

2.43% 1.18%

28.57% 4.17%

7 48

$654,442 $497,590

41 39

Woodside

$649,857

10.29%

-9.09%

$589,219

Bentley Place Gables of Tuckerman

20 29

$353,587 $322,261

22 39

1.47% -2.06%

11.11% 31.82%

18 22

$348,464 $329,039

43 61

Georgetown Village Luxberry Courts Rock Creek Gardens Villa Cortez

8 10 10 20

$390,350 $528,890 $240,955 $311,949

27 48 60 96

11.81% 10.93% -12.43% 9.42%

-52.94% 233.33% -9.09% 33.33%

17 3 11 15

$349,108 $476,766 $275,145 $285,083

24 45 28 103

White Flint Station

$367,324

123

-12.79%

58.33%

$421,208

Aurora Fairways North

11 18

$310,649 $222,330

44 34

-2.52% 37.87%

-8.33% -14.29%

12 21

$318,688 $161,266

31 29

Fairways South Gallery at White Flint Place

23 24

$189,875 $385,215

53 37

8.38% -1.93%

-20.69% 4.35%

29 23

$175,198 $392,809

47 40

Mica Midtown Bethesda North

20 14

$289,712 $402,705

58 51

-5.42% -11.63%

100.00% -17.65%

10 17

$306,312 $455,715

51 76

Overlook at Leisure World The Greens I The Greens II The Sterling

14 33 35 9

$303,921 $168,568 $193,431 $443,000

32 44 44 60

-0.93% 6.55% 0.94% 7.45%

-6.67% 17.86% 25.00% -30.77%

15 28 28 13

$306,760 $158,207 $191,630 $412,287

91 42 67 61

The Wisconsin Turnberry Courts

4 22

$392,250 $238,622

18 52

-34.31% 3.84%

-55.56% -4.35%

9 23

$597,081 $229,806

44 70

University Towers Vantage Point East

17 5

$114,003 $303,861

35 68

7.61% 14.28%

21.43% -50.00%

14 10

$105,939 $265,895

13 129

Vantage Point West

$279,372

2.48%

-35.29%

$272,607

Cherington Fallstone

5 4

$694,900 $842,475

28 7

6.48% 4.92%

25.00% -33.33%

4 6

$652,625 $803,000

22 26

Old Georgetown Village Symphony Park

8 2

$661,487 $1.208M

64 68

-4.68% 5.71%

0.00% -50.00%

8 4

$693,956 $1.142M

12 179

Timberlawn Tuckerman Heights

14 4

$808,266 $836,850

27 31

17.31% -3.39%

-12.50% 0.00%

16 4

$689,013 $866,250

26 38

Tuckerman Station

$679,185

0.57%

16.67%

$675,333

Grosvenor Inverness

70 45

$282,655 $643,419

49 36

16.19% 7.13%

-6.67% 36.36%

75 33

$243,267 $600,583

59 14

King Farm Layhill

62 38

$585,046 $428,465

54 67

-2.14% 1.04%

1.64% -2.56%

61 39

$597,857 $424,037

44 85

Montrose North Farm - Old Farm

24 25

$642,838 $799,579

26 30

13.15% -3.78%

50.00% 38.89%

16 18

$568,150 $830,970

49 42

Potomac Woods

$682,858

4.23%

16.67%

$655,125

1,221 403

$947,856 $1.046M

62 54

2.93% -3.47%

5.62% 0.50%

1,156 401

$920,889 $1.084M

55 59

Damascus Darnestown

215 44

$332,009 $727,947

66 79

2.09% -5.25%

26.47% -13.73%

170 51

$325,202 $768,264

63 89

Gaithersburg Germantown Kensington Olney

1,732 1,282 301 380

$362,290 $297,422 $581,973 $429,528

54 52 50 55

-0.50% 1.65% 1.25% 0.31%

4.91% 3.89% -5.64% 16.92%

1,651 1,234 319 325

$364,099 $292,585 $574,785 $428,206

57 54 50 50

Potomac Rockville

568 1,657

$1.011M $483,537

79 44

-0.57% 3.11%

5.77% 3.69%

537 1,598

$1.016M $468,934

74 51

Silver Spring Takoma Park

3,173 176

$371,664 $488,737

48 45

2.92% 3.66%

6.98% 3.53%

2,966 170

$361,133 $471,500

54 45

20814 20815

395 431

$832,148 $1.021M

57 56

7.34% -4.49%

4.77% 3.36%

377 417

$775,225 $1.069M

53 58

20816 20817

261 537

$969,956 $1.037M

51 71

-0.10% 2.87%

17.57% -0.74%

222 541

$970,960 $1.008M

42 63

20850 20851

542 156

$538,655 $360,084

48 31

3.51% 4.83%

8.40% 13.87%

500 137

$520,371 $343,487

49 32

20852 20853

565 347

$478,743 $447,982

47 43

1.35% 6.39%

5.61% -1.70%

535 353

$472,383 $421,063

51 53

20854 20895

629 301

$984,480 $581,973

75 50

-0.54% 1.25%

5.89% -5.64%

594 319

$989,845 $574,785

71 50

20901 20902

442 518

$426,347 $364,907

50 42

7.60% 0.97%

6.25% 5.07%

416 493

$396,241 $361,413

50 47

20904 20905 20906 20910

479 228 988 403

$365,722 $485,350 $285,413 $477,880

47 71 46 46

0.35% 3.41% 1.95% -2.34%

23.45% 25.97% -3.33% 6.90%

388 181 1,022 377

$364,446 $469,361 $279,946 $489,345

60 77 55 51

12,861

$502,878

0.86%

5.47%

12,194

$498,600

GARDEN/MID-RISE

HI-RISE BLDGS

TOWNHOMES

COMBINED AREAS

CITIES Bethesda Chevy Chase

ZIP CODES

COUNTY TOTALS Montgomery County

AVERAGE NET PRICE: Average close price minus seller paid subsidy. This is the actual net to the seller. DOM: Days On Market from list date to contract date. Blank space indicates no sales in period reported.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ADDRESS 6219 6817 5876 6800 10130 8718 6402 5217 20 5604 8030 8903 8111 7824 5019 6644 321 18806 10405 6621 9407 11824 5201 9004 7171 6111 11903 7500 21624 3587 23 9013 24209 4105 14004 14201 220 705 10613 41 210 9 505 11400 11626 480 910 20101 13305 10949 23361 14808 7812 10414 9322 2101 4720 1008 2500 7500 18708 12678 7204 8201 15213 438 1900 930 24121 12265 2202 14314 316 12348 12 4710 17016 9009 10637 10818 713 16613 3623 501 13403 4 2808 19 211 24748 14010 8830 4620 25376 5500 10811 8 331 20012 10401 3312 7425 2653 907 135

SALE PRICE

Kennedy Dr Hillmead Rd Marbury Rd Connecticut Ave Darmuid Green Dr Irvington Ave Tone Dr Elliott Rd Riverwood Ct Parkston Rd Glendale Rd Clifford Ave River Rd #115 Hidden Meadow Ter Westport Rd Eames Way #Calvin Crooked Creek Dr Quarrymen Ter Fernwood Road #300 Paxton Rd Fernwood Rd Hunting Ridge Ct Wissioming Rd Copenhaver Dr Woodmont Ave #707 Lone Oak Dr Country Squire Way Woodmont Ave #S1101 Ripplemead Dr Hamlet Pl #104 Harvard Ct Kimblehunt Dr Clematis Dr Decatur Ave Pikestaff Ct Punch St Stonington Rd Hawkesbury Ln Wheatley St Treworthy Rd Indian Spring Dr E Woodsend Pl Pinewood Rd Tall Forest Cir Deborah Dr Lynette St La Grande Rd Harron Valley Way Tivoli Lake Blvd Rocky Mount Way Rainbow Arch Dr Clavel St Heritage Farm Dr Parkwood Dr Caroline Ave Avoca Ln Chevy Chase Dr #304 Kersey Rd Harmon Rd Woodmont Ave #S416 Capella Ln Granite Ridge Dr Hilton Ave Dry Ridge Rd Peachstone Dr Lady Fern Pl Agate Dr Wayne Ave #1105 Old Hundred Rd Greenleaf Ave Henderson Ave Myer Ter Southwest Dr Sweetbough Ct Chantilly Ct Lance Ct Glen Oak Run Walden Rd Weymouth St #102 Antigua Ter #202 Main St #A Roundabout Dr Tarkington Ln #57-C Hungerford Dr #343 Briar Path Ln Holly Dr Jennings Rd Dawn View Ct Nimitz Ave Cutsail Dr Darnestown Rd Thomas Lea Ter Randolph Rd Damascus Park Ter Friendship Blvd #1928N Nolcrest Dr E Granite Pl #361 Wye Mill Ct Wanegarden Ct Grosvenor Pl #1321 Camden St Democracy Blvd #107 Norbeck Rd Kerwin Rd Bralan Ln

$3,700,000 $1,950,000 $2,250,000 $1,995,000 $1,862,000 $1,750,000 $1,605,000 $1,345,000 $1,120,101 $1,240,000 $1,200,000 $1,076,000 $1,000,000 $1,050,000 $935,000 $982,830 $964,500 $950,000 $938,682 $930,000 $877,786 $865,000 $825,000 $820,000 $829,900 $759,900 $700,000 $675,000 $690,000 $680,000 $680,000 $689,000 $652,000 $650,000 $647,500 $637,800 $645,000 $625,000 $615,000 $568,733 $590,000 $590,000 $557,000 $575,000 $590,000 $565,000 $550,000 $545,000 $529,900 $475,000 $515,000 $509,000 $524,900 $505,000 $490,000 $481,000 $500,000 $475,000 $489,000 $470,000 $479,900 $485,000 $470,000 $480,000 $475,000 $450,000 $465,000 $450,000 $427,000 $450,000 $435,000 $466,000 $425,000 $415,000 $435,000 $427,000 $415,000 $390,000 $375,000 $384,000 $385,000 $380,000 $378,000 $370,000 $374,400 $370,000 $340,000 $364,900 $347,000 $349,000 $320,000 $339,000 $325,000 $330,000 $310,000 $295,000 $319,900 $319,600 $295,000 $303,000 $310,000 $300,000 $400,000 $302,000 $290,000

STYLE

BA/ HBA

DOM

Colonial Colonial Arts & Crafts Colonial Contemporary Arts & Crafts Colonial Colonial Tudor Cape Cod Colonial Colonial Contemporary Townhouse Colonial Townhouse Colonial Colonial Townhouse Colonial Contemporary Colonial Arts & Crafts Colonial Contemporary Split Level Colonial Traditional Colonial Townhouse Colonial Colonial Colonial Traditional Colonial Colonial Arts & Crafts Contemporary Cape Cod Dutch Colonial Colonial Split Foyer A-Frame Colonial Colonial Townhouse Contemporary Colonial Townhouse Townhouse Colonial Rancher Colonial Rambler Cape Cod Rambler Contemporary Colonial Split Level Contemporary Colonial Townhouse Colonial Colonial Colonial Townhouse Colonial Contemporary Rancher Townhouse Rambler Split Foyer Rambler Townhouse Townhouse Rambler Colonial Colonial Colonial Townhouse Townhouse Split Level Traditional Contemporary Split Level Split Foyer Rambler Townhouse Cape Cod Split Foyer Cape Cod Townhouse Rambler Townhouse Contemporary Rancher Colonial Townhouse Colonial Traditional Rambler Contemporary Cape Cod Cape Cod Townhouse

4 4 6 6 5 6 5 4 6 6 4 5 2 4 4 3 6 5 3 4 6 5 5 5 2 4 5 2 5 3 5 6 4 4 4 5 4 5 3 4 4 5 6 4 4 3 4 5 3 2 5 4 4 2 3 3 3 4 4 2 7 3 3 4 4 3 5 2 4 4 3 4 3 4 3 4 4 3 3 2 2 3 2 3 4 3 2 4 4 4 3 3 3 3 1 3 2 3 4 2 3 2 3 3 4

6/2 3 6/1 6/1 5/2 5/1 4/1 4/1 5/1 5 3/1 4 2 3/1 2/2 3/1 4/1 4/1 3/1 4/1 2/1 3/1 3 3/2 2 2/1 4/1 2 3/1 2/2 3/1 3/1 3/1 3/1 3/1 4/1 3 3/1 3 3/1 2/1 2 4/2 3/1 3 2/1 3 3/1 4/1 4 3/1 3 3/1 1 2 2/1 2 3/1 2/1 1 6/2 3/1 1 2/1 3/1 2/1 3/1 2 3 3/1 3 3 2/1 3/1 2/1 3 2/1 1/1 1/1 2 2/1 1/1 2 2 3/1 3 2 2/1 2 2 2 2/1 2 2/2 1 1/1 2 2/2 2/1 2 1 2 2 3 3/1

59 153 333 606 164 4 85 11 126 2 259 117 195 180 207 0 73 78 0 8 229 119 0 112 0 4 111 96 218 18 44 166 225 19 6 250 442 45 56 77 28 5 367 62 5 97 177 188 12 56 15 15 64 0 26 79 91 43 88 25 173 63 146 88 57 211 35 98 75 130 133 2 12 20 3 4 20 61 13 67 138 77 49 51 16 77 31 6 62 5 182 7 70 13 5 12 25 55 3 19 35 6 7 47 128

LOT SQ FT

SUBDIVISION

12,845 Kenwood 102,366 Bradley Hills Grove 13,342 Kenwood Park 14,437 Chevy Chase Sec 4 97,139 Mazza Woods 8,062 Bradmoor 7,288 Merrimack Park 8,573 Westmoreland Hills 95,396 Potomac View Ests 9,719 Springfield 12,914 Chevy Chase Sec 10 6,157 Bethesda Out Res.(2) N/A Quarry Springs 3,600 River Falls 8,096 Wohlshire 924 Montgomery Row 6,188 King Farm Watkins Pond 48,589 Manor Oaks 8,712 Montgomery Row Rck Sp 10,609 Hollyoak 9,004 Bethesda Out Res. (1) 19,902 Glen Oaks 12,010 Glen Echo Heights 16,551 Copenhaver N/A Bethesda 11,479 Ashburton 4,940 Clarksburg Village N/A Chase At Bethesda Codm 87,991 Fairhill N/A Hamlet Place Coop 9,400 College Gardens 90,605 Damascus Outside 53,952 Woodfield Estates 6,574 Rock Creek Palisades 8,226 Kingsview Village 12,505 Layhill Vill East 56,545 Springbrook Forest 11,485 Sherwood Forest Manor 6,996 Kensington 10,508 Westleigh 7,727 Indian Spring Manor 15,087 Saddlebrook 5,500 Maryvale 7,353 Seneca Crossing 9,486 Regency Estates 1,230 Lakelands 9,397 Crest Park 10,230 Ashford Montg Vill 1,819 Poplar Run 1,996 Glen Haven 4,000 Clarksburg Village 21,598 Manor Lake 7,730 Hickory Grove 7,009 Kensington Estates 6,828 Seven Oaks 128,502 Colesville Outside N/A 4720 Chevy Chase Dr 10,503 Kemp Mill Estates 6,278 Plyers Mill Estates N/A Chase At Bethesda 6,554 Meadowvale 2,040 Quince Haven 5,756 Takoma Park 9,845 Ashford Montg Vill 27,734 Peach Orchard Heights 1,260 Watkins Mill Town Center 14,448 Snowdens Mill N/A Crescent Codm 102,802 Barnesville Outside 2,013 Watkins Glen 14,250 Arcola 8,964 Manor Woods 13,443 Burnt Mills Gar-vill 1,521 Potomac Grove 1,430 Rockshire Townhouses 8,088 Aspen Hill Park 25,589 Winters Run 6,557 Highland View N/A Parkside Codm N/A Bentley Place Codm N/A Cross Green Codm 12,000 Quince Orchard Manor N/A Rossmoor Mutual #18 N/A Fitz At Rockville Town C 12,750 Strathmore At Bel Pre 13,656 Deer Park 10,500 Oakland Terrace 1,500 Nottingham Woods 7,463 Twinbrook 13,482 Sweepstakes 47,044 Darnestown Outside 1,700 The Reach - Montg Vill 7,301 Randolph Hills 1,694 Magruders Overlook N/A Willoughby Of Ch Ch Codm 9,000 Burnt Mills Knolls N/A The Colonnade Codm 3,870 Woodland Hills 8,469 Churchill Town Sector N/A Grosvenor Park Iii 7,200 Conn Ave Estates N/A West Lake Park 51,836 Olney Out Res (3) 6,426 Ballantrae 1,550 Brighton East Th

Report Courtesy Barbara Ciment, Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. Data provided by MRIS, 2/13/17 subject to change. No inference should be made, nor is intended, that properties are from my team's/broker's activities.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Why You Should Work with Barbara Ciment’s Team “Your Home Team” #1 Office Producer 25 Years in a Row & Counting • Professional Excellence with Integrity and Commitment to Ethics

$450 Million and 1,000 Career Sales

• 100’s of Satisfied Sellers and Buyers Sending Us Referrals

For All Your Real Estate Needs • Free Market Analysis to Help Determine Buyer Value or Seller Pricing • Condos, Rentals, Refinancing, Relocating, Retirement ... Purchase or Sale

The Barbara Ciment Team

• Barbara Ciment & Mel Ciment, and • My Buyer Specialists: Emily Lurie and Judi Taragin Shields

Barbara Ciment

Emily Lurie

Judi Shields

Associate Broker, Realtor Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc 6000 Executive Blvd, Suite 100 North Bethesda, MD 20852 Office: 301-468-0606

barbara@ciment.com

301-346-9126

www.ciment.com

My Team's Current Listings and Recent Sales Across Montgomery County Arcola

Dumont Oaks

Forest Estates

Forest Glen/Grove

Grosvenor Park

11500 Nairn Farmhouse Ct For Sale: $659,000

621 Concerto Ln Under Contract Asking Price: $352,000

10209 Julep Ct Under Contract Asking Price: $395,000

1802 Tilton Dr Sold: $505,000

10101 Grosvenor Pl #1802 Sold: $250,000

Kemp Mill

Kemp Mill Estates

213 Hermleigh Rd Under Contract Asking Price: $555,000

932 Clintwood Dr Represented Buyer in this Sale Sold Price: $575,000

710 North Belgrade Ct For Sale: $399,900

1008 Kersey Rd Sold: $475,000

11507 Lockhart Pl Representing Buyer-In Contract Asking Price: $415,000

King Farm

Potomac

The Greens II

University Towers

Vantage Point East LW

517 Redland Blvd Represented Buyer in this Sale Sold Price: $562,500

11504 Karen Dr Under Contract Asking Price: $749,500

15115 Interlachen Dr #321 For Sale: $289,000

1111 University Blvd #502 Under Contract Asking Price: $110,000

3200 Leisure World Blvd #717 Sold: $376,000

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

Friendship Circle Lives Up to Its Name By Ezra Troy The Friendship Circle is a program started by Rabbi Levi Shemtov of West Bloomfield, Michigan, that gives assistance and support to 3,000 individuals with special needs and their families by providing recreational, social, educational and vocational programming. According to their website, their mission is to “create friendship in the lives of individuals with special needs and those facing isolation while providing an opportunity to become a contributing member of the community.” The Friendship Circle has branches all over the world that help with this mission. At our Maryland branch, run by Rabbi Mendel Kaplan and Mrs. Chana Kaplan, two main activities are organized. The first is Torah Circle, which occurs every other Sunday from 1:30-3:30 at the JCC. This activity is the highlight of many of these children’s weeks. Mrs. Chana Kaplan, co-director of our area’s Friendship Circle frequently says “All the children always ask their parents ‘is there Torah Circle this week?’” In addition to the program at the JCC, the Friendship Circle runs the Friends at Home program as well as many other programs in the area for special-needs children.

At Torah Circle, teenagers from all over the Washington, DC and Maryland area come to the JCC to hang out with children who have special needs. Volunteers are assigned buddies aging from 3-20 years old, with whom they do activities, such as robotics, theater and sports

At any given program I can have the entire spectrum of the Jewish community in one room According to Ayelet Brown, who has been volunteering at the Friendship Circle for 5 years, not only is Torah Circle “a great way to interact with kids in normal activities to help [the children] do things that I do in my normal life,” but it also “helps me create friendships with amazing kids who I wouldn’t normally create friendships with.” Nava Israel, another longtime volunteer, says that unfortunately these kids “don’t have so many friends,” so when the volunteers hang

GWCK “Shabbos of Inspiration” Brings Community Together By Rabbi Yonatan Zakem, Silver Spring

Michael Shimoff, President of Young Israel Shomrai Emunah, had a major The Greater Washington Community hand in the planning and execution of Kollel’s annual “Shabbos of Inspiration” the shabbaton. From his perspective, the at Young Israel Shomrai Emunah is al- shabbaton is an occasion for the memberways an enjoyable and meaningful expe- ship and the community to see what is ofrience, and this year’s event was no excep- fered at the shul. tion. The Shabbat of Parshas Bo (February “This shabbaton is a great opportuni3-4) was replete with Torah, ruach (spirit), ty for the Kemp Mill community to sample the GWCK programs and take advansong and prayer. tage of the excellent educational Beginning with the melodious and uplifting Kabopportunities they provide,” said balat Shabbat led by guest Shimoff. Indeed, the shabbaton chazzan Simcha Leiner, the featured samples of some learning opportunities that take place Shabbos continued with a weekly at Shomrai Emunah. lively catered dinner, open For some, the shabbaton proto the community. Dinner was followed by a mini vided an opportunity to come learning session with conout for something different. Lucurrent classes led by Kollel cas Druskin, a local young professional, was happy to have a break scholars, followed by a dessert buffet accompanied a in his regular Shabbos routine. “I Simcha Leiner zemirot-filled oneg Shabbat. thoroughly enjoyed the well-delivered speeches and interesting On Shabbat day, the ru- saving his best ach and inspiration perme- vocals for the shiur topics following the meal. ated the davening, with the weekend finale In contrast to my typical Friday chazzanut of Simcha Leinnight meal which leaves me bloater and words of Torah from Kollel mem- ed and sleepy, I left the event energized bers. Shabbos afternoon included a class and more engaged in Shabbos,” he said. Young Israel Shomrai Emunah is no for women with Mrs. Sara Malka Winter and a shalosh seudos (Shabbat afternoon stranger to enriching programming, which meal) for high school girls at the home seeks to uplift and inspire its membership, of Mrs. Zakem. The shabbaton conclud- and the Kollel’s shabbaton fits right in to the ed with a scholarly presentation by Rabbi shul’s mission. Stuart Rosenthal, organizYitzhak Grossman between Mincha and er of YISE’s Meaningful Tefillah Project, has Maariv, and a musical Havdalah service been the motivation behind a series of programs and events geared towards elevating led by Simcha Leiner.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

out with them, it makes the children “so happy!” She also said that “the hugs and huge smiles on both the friends and their parents faces really show you how grateful they are.” At the Friends at Home program, one or two regular teens are paired up with a special needs child and they hang out at the child’s home for one to two hours a week. The relationships that are created through this last “for years,” according to Mrs. Kaplan, who also says, “it gives these kids an opportunity to have a playdate that they may not normally have.” In addition to its main activities, the Friendship Circle hosts a variety of other activities for the special needs community. At the birthday club, the special needs children’s birthdays are celebrated at popular venues in the area because these children don’t get to normally go to birthday parties. The Yad program is a program that gives special needs adults ages 21 and older an opportunity to hang out with college students and young professionals once a month at different venues in Montgomery County. Mrs. Kaplan says that their “favorite part [of the whole program] is getting to socialize [with other young adults].” The Friendship Circle the appreciation of prayer at Shomrai Emunah. The Rosenthals joined for the dinner and took advantage of the divrei Torah being offered. “The Kollel’s ‘Inspirational Shabbos’ was exactly that for me. The tone was set by Simcha Leiner’s leibedik davening, which I find incredibly moving, and carried forward by the many brief, yet meaningful, vorts and drashas,” Mr. Rosenthal said. From the Kollel’s perspective, the shabbaton is an opportunity for the Kollel to connect with the community in a more intimate way than the regular programming allows. “While the Kollel cherishes its many weekly and regular opportunities to teach and engage with the Shomrai membership, the shabbaton provided a unique forum to interact in the warm and ruach-filled aspects of spending a Shabbos together–– the meals, singing and tefillos, in addition to the shared learning we did,” said Rabbi Menachem Winter, head of Greater Washington Community Kollel. “Sitting together for the dinner and at the oneg is a chance for the Kollel staff and members of the community to get to know each other personally. I also had the opportunity to speak with Kollel rabbis I hadn’t met before and see what wonderful people they are,” said Rosenthal. And the feeling is mutual; Rabbi Hillel Shaps, a longstanding member of the Kollel, remarked: “The shabbaton was a great opportunity to kick-start new relationships and nurture existing ones.” Perhaps above all, the shabbaton brought together participants from many different segments of Kemp Mill. “The people from the community in attendance were from across the communal demographics, representing a true cross sec-

also runs holiday programs, a parent support group, and an annual end of year “celebration of friendship,” and are even starting a moms’ night out. Mrs. Chana Kaplan, one of the founding members of the area’s Friendship Circle says she loves all of it, especially “working with teens.” “At any given program I can have the entire spectrum of the Jewish community in one room,” she said. “This year is our biggest year. We have close to 250 volunteers and over 100 families.” As a regular volunteer at the Maryland Torah Circle, I think it is amazing what they do. It allows children to make friends with people they never would have made friends with before and it is really the highlight of many of the children’s weeks. I hope to keep volunteering with the Friendship Circle for years to come and really think it is an amazing program that takes incredible initiative at the inclusion of special needs people. Ezra Troy is a sophomore at the Berman Hebrew Academy, where he is a member of the Model UN team, student council and the student paper. In addition to writing for Kol HaBirah and his school paper, Ezra is the senior east coast correspondent for a sports blog called My ESPN for Kids. He has lived in Silver Spring, Maryland’s Kemp Mill neighborhood for 14 years, and currently attends Kemp Mill Synagogue.

ABOUT FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE How We See It Everyone in this world has a unique purpose. When we focus on abilities instead of disabilities, those with special needs can be part of the strongest friendships and influence people in positive ways that others can’t. Unwavering acceptance, positive thinking, honesty, and commitment are just a few of the important lessons these individuals teach by example.

What We Do Friendship Circle chapters in local communities create meaningful relationships and friendships between teen volunteers and children with special needs, increasing confidence, igniting dreams, and redefining worldviews for both parties. Friendship Circle International has more than 80 regional chapters around the world and counting.

How we do it Programs: Friends at Home, camps, holiday programs, Jewish learning programs for kids, athletic programs, life-skills learning, and sibling support programs. (Source: www.friendshipcircle.org) tion of the community,” noted Shimoff. Empty-nesters and young professionals sat together at the oneg, as well as college students and families with their young children. This is a true reflection of the kollel’s mission to enrich the entire Greater Washington community.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Promote your Business/Organization to over 10,000 readers throughout DC, MD and VA!

We have Ad plans and packages for all budgets!

Hillel Goldschein

240-478-1924 hillel@kolhabirah.com WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FEATURES: JEWISH DISABILITIES AWARENESS AND INCLUSION

Reflections on My Experiences at Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue By Nathan Weissler I am a local college student and a member of Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue, and I am also on the autism spectrum. Over time, I have had many positive experiences regarding inclusion at locations such as Ohev Sholom, where my family and I are members. The clergy, staff and congregants always do their best to help me have important and positive experiences. For instance, beginning in the fall of 2014, I began doing writing related to parshat hashavua (the weekly Torah reading) for a children’s program that meets weekly at the synagogue during the school year. Children have used my writing to discuss the parsha, and to this day I continue writing for children at the synagogue and currently write for groups meeting on Shabbat as well.

The chance to write has been enormously important in giving me a sense of feeling appreciated and respected, and it has been vital in terms of my self-esteem and has helped me build the soul that I have today Although I have had many wonderful experiences of being included at Ohev Sholom, the opportunity to write has been one of the most important experiences of being included that I have ever had. I deeply believe that it is very important for everyone to have the chance to make meaningful contributions to society. However, it is particularly important for people who have special needs to know that they are respected and appreciated.

The chance to write has been enormously important in giving me a sense of feeling appreciated and respected, and it has been vital in terms of my self-esteem and has helped me build the soul that I have today. Furthermore, I truly wish that all people who have special needs could have opportunities to feel that they are making a meaningful difference and contribution. Ohev Sholom presents several opportunities to help encourage inclusion. For

example, there are regular dinners with the Jewish Foundation for Group Homes (JFGH), at which congregants and anyone who wishes has the opportunity to meet and interact with people from JFGH as well as JFGH staff. I frequently attend JFGH events at Ohev Sholom, and those dinners will always be among my most vivid memories of young adulthood. The synagogue is setting a wonderful example of being inclusive by hosting these events. Additionally, another special experience for me has simply been participating in the community. The knowledge that I am fully welcome means so much to me. A community where a person knows, without a doubt, that one is always welcome is very important, and I look forward to continuing my journey. Nathan Weissler, 24, is a college student in the Washington, D.C. area and lives in Chevy Chase, Maryland.

Yitro, Mishpatim, and Disability Shabbat By Alan A. Fisher From the excitement of the Exodus, crossing of the Sea of Reeds, destruction of the Egyptian army and fireworks of the revelation at Har Sinai (Mount Sinai), the Torah now changes both focus and tone. Through most of Parshat Yitro, the wording in the Torah is primarily narrative. However, starting with Aseret ha’Dibrot (Ten Commandments), and then especially in Parshat Mishpatim, we turn from history class to law school. In short, the remainder of Sefer Shemot and vast bulk of Sefer Vayikra are primarily mitzvot. In the mitzvot sections of the Torah, the presentation is primarily thematic and not necessarily chronological. (Rabbi Menachem Leibtag at www.tanach.org explains the chronology of each parsha.) Parshat Mishpatim contains 53 of the 613 mitzvot in the Torah, and the range of subjects is so broad that it is extremely difficult to fit all of them into any coherent theme. This issue of Kol HaBirah focuses on disability awareness and the theme of inclusion; How does this theme fit into the subjects of Yitro and Mishpatim? What can we learn from the Torah portions we read during these two weeks that relate to efforts that Jewish organizations can and should put into involving members of the community with special needs? G-d made a transition from His original plan for Adam–– making all humans holy in His image–– to His plan for Avraham, selecting a small subset of humans to set an example and work to perfect the world. Our responsibility is tikkun olam, to make the world a better place. I read the material following the revelation at Har Sinai in this context. As the Torah moves from narrative

to mitzvot, we find a few laws about how to daven to Hashem (Exodus 20:1923) and then the text transitions into civil laws in Mishpatim (21-23:12) before returning to more laws between man and G-d. There are two basic types of the civil laws: cases of damage with a plaintiff, which go to the beit din (court) for judgment, and cases without a plaintiff, for which G-d will exact judgment. Both types contain a strong emphasis on compassion for the weak, disabled, impoverished and otherwise especially needy. The first mitzvot in Mishpatim require treating slaves and bondswomen properly (21:1-11). A slave owner must free all slaves and slaves’ wives after six years. A bondswoman has special protections designed to result in marriage by the end of her six-year obligation. In short, slavery is a temporary status intended to result in freedom and financial independence within a seven-year period.

Torah cautions us 36 times to treat gerim properly. This is more caution than given for any other mitzvah, including such basic values as observing Shabbat and loving G-d. How and when will G-d exact judgment for afflicting widows, orphans

What can we learn from the Torah portions we read during these two weeks that relate to efforts that Jewish organizations can and should put into involving members of the community with special needs? Other mitzvot admonish against treating gerim (strangers, temporary visitors and converts) improperly because we were slaves in Egypt. Because we understand the awful conditions under which we suffered for generations as slaves, we should go out of our way to treat a ger with respect and compassion. Indeed, Bava Metzia 59b states that the

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

and other members of society with special needs (22:20-23)? Rashi’s interpretation is that G-d will hear and intervene when the disadvantaged person davens to Hashem, as He did when the Jews in Egypt davened (2:23). Ramban, however, reads this section as meaning that G-d will hear and exact judgment any time an afflicted, disadvantaged person cries

out in pain. (For a much more extensive treatment, see Nehama Leibowitz, “New Studies in Shemot: Exodus,” vol. 2, pp. 379-401.) Proper treatment of the disadvantaged members of society is a recurring theme in Tanach. Perhaps the most vivid example is in chapter 1 of Yishayahu– the Haftorah we read the Shabbat before Tisha B’Av–– when G-d had already decided to destroy the Temple and send Bnei Yisrael into exile: “Why do I need your numerous sacrifices? . . . when you spread your hands [in prayer], I will hide My eyes from you . . . Learn to do good, seek justice, strengthen the victim, do justice for the orphan, take up the cause of the widow.” Hashem, the G-d who took us out of slavery in Egypt, goes almost immediately from the revelation at Har Sinai to present 53 mitzvot. Much of the focus is on proper treatment of the most needy members of society. Can one think of a more appropriate subject for Disability Shabbat?

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

CAPITAL COMMENTARY Red, Blue and Frum, Part II ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 25 [Both interview subjects from “Red, Blue and Frum, Part I,” Marc, 48 from New Jersey, and Jared, 29 from Silver Spring, Maryland, are Republicans and voted for Trump.] Marc’s message was for people to give Trump a chance. “He said a lot during the election season, and he did pander. But action speaks louder than words. I think a lot of what was said during the election was rhetoric,” he said. “He’s your president now,” said Jared. “If and until he really screws up, you owe it to him as American citizens to give him a chance. ‘Not my President’ simply isn’t true. I’m sorry to say this, but the protests come off as a temper tantrum that a five-year-old would make. People can voice their opinion, but give him a chance. I gave a chance to Obama, and I disagreed with the Tea Party for never giving him a chance.” “If Trump does something bad, I will be the first to write an article about it, blog about it. I’ll organize, I’ll rally,” he said. As a Jew who cares about Israel, Jared was hopeful that Trump would “mend the broken relationship” he perceived between the US and Israel in the wake of the Obama administration. “I have a feeling Trump will be much warmer to Israel, listen to Bibi, work better with him. The way to fix the [Israeli-Palestinian] conflict will probably anger the Arabs, but will ultimately be better for all parties involved.” We could not get anywhere near the rally itself. We managed to stake out a spot standing on top of two out-of-service ice cream carts, across the way from a group of Muslim women wearing hijab. They noticed my sign and my head covering, and we shared a glance of recognition. I also got a lot of “Good Shabbos”-es from fellow Jews in the crowd passing by. I saw signs in English, Spanish, Hebrew, and Arabic. I saw women–– and men–– of all races and religions. There were families there with young kids, and lactation tents for nursing mothers. “I saw parents talking to kids about why they were there, strangers acting kindly, giving advice, sharing hopes and dreams and food,” said Leah. Beverly felt “an overwhelming feeling of amcha, that I was with my people, at home, that we are human, united. Everyone was so nice.” At some point, we started marching toward the White House, and I was struck by how safe I felt despite the very minimal police presence. As we passed the Trump International Hotel, a loud chorus of boos emitted from the crowd. Tamar found some elements of the March to be overwhelmingly positive––“I have never been in a space with so many other people before who share my ideology for what our country should look like, the image gave me a lot of hope” –– but she was also put off by some of the negative messages and cheers of some of the Marchers. “My intention in attending the March wasn’t to protest the Trump Presidency,” Tamar said. “A lot of Americans are angry and scared, and as a result there were many negative messages directed at Pres-

ident Trump. They’re a waste of time and energy, and are harmful to the cause because they divert attention from us directing our energy and passion towards moving our country forward in a positive direction.” While she didn’t think the March was perfect, Barbara [a medical volunteer in her 50s interviewed in “Red, Blue, and Frum, Part I] thinks it’s a good start, and is glad she went. “The March opened my eyes, made me so much more aware beyond my little world. It made me want to be a better Jew and person, looking for commonality and goodness instead of always being angry.” Eventually, we passed by the White House and the crowds petered out. We warmed up and rested for a few minutes at a museum of women’s art providing refuge for the occasion, and then made the trek home to finish Shabbat passed out on the couch. I have never been more tired in my life, and I’ve given birth three times. So now the question is, what’s next? Jared said it was too early to tell how things were going to go. “I like his cuts on spending, and freezing money to the Palestinian Authority. It’s outrageous that the media was focusing on the Inauguration crowd size. Who cares about crowd size? Hitler had big crowds. The media’s focus to the negative has actually helped Trump.” During the first week after the inauguration, Marc was pleased with Trump’s actions while in office, but was hoping Trump would soon announce moving the US Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. He was also hopeful that Trump will rebuild the economy and bring back manufacturing jobs, plus give Israel a “free hand to do what they My sign. must for her security.” I checked in with Marc less than a week later, after Trump’s executive order banning people from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the US. His response: “Oy vey. I am not thrilled with how many EO’S he’s done but am not ready to throw in the towel with him just yet. I think we need secure borders, but what about the Canadian border? We need to show consistency with our borders and with immigration.” “I am not as gung-ho as I was right after the election, but am taking a we-shallsee attitude,” he said. Not waiting to see were March-ers I had interviewed, already planning ongoing activism and political involvement. “Especially now,“it’s important for Americans from all backgrounds to listen to each other and help one another,” said Tamar. “For me, the March was about promoting a platform of policies that help all Americans.” She is currently working at the office of Senator Kirstin Gillibrand (D-NY), and is also a Barnard Speaking Fellow, helping other women on campus with their public speaking skills. “Working with a program that solely works to empower women to use their voices seems utterly relevant and necessary at this point in time.”

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

“After the election, I realized that I cannot be just a student right now, I must also be making positive change in my larger community. It is a way to not feel helpless in a time that seems uncontrollable, and it is a way to truly help constituents of New York who need assistance the most,” she said. Michelle was also committed to staying active, calling various members of the government, writing letters, going to more marches, and trying to get involved in helping more Democrats in the midterm elections.” While her business demands keep her busy, Beverly was committed to staying active in memory of her husband, Dr. Jack Flamholz, who passed away three months ago. “He was passionate about water sustainability, so I’m trying to start a local water conservancy project in Teaneck schools, based on a model pioneered in Israel.” She has already traveled to Israel in the weeks since her husband’s death. “I sat with experts to learn what they do, how they gather and conserve, so I can bring it back to New Jersey. It’s my little thing that I can try to do.” I asked everyone I interviewed what they thought about the political divide in the Orthodox community. It’s an issue that saddened Michelle. “I feel like many of my friends that voted for Trump are one-issue voters, and that issue is Israel. I do occasionally feel alienated from the community because of my beliefs. People often condescend to me, like I am a ‘bleeding heart liberal’ who doesn’t know better, and they have to educate me.” To Marc, the sad part was that more Jews don’t vote Republican. “I am proud that Orthodox Jews primarily vote Republican. I wish the overall Jewish population voted Republican, as I stridently feel that the Republican party is the pro-Israel party and not the Democratic party.” Marc urged his fellow Jewish Republicans to not be bullied into keeping quiet. “I appreciate the support that Orthodox Jewish voters give to the Republican party and wish that secular Jews followed suit. Short of Trump denouncing Israel, I will support him.” Tamar did not see the potential Trump-Israel relationship as the pivotal issue in the election. “Whether or not one feels Trump was the better choice for Jews and for Israel issues–– I personally do not feel that is the case–– ultimately, support should not come down to any single issue,” she said. “This existed before this election and will unfortunately continue to be a problem.” “I’m not worried about Israel–– it can take care of itself,” said Barbara. “I daven when I’m worried about Israel.” Beverly, who works in the haredi community, said that “Everyone assumes I voted for Trump. There’s not even a thought of voting for anyone else.” “The Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple) was destroyed due to sinat chinam (baseless hatred), and we see it all around us today. People in my own community

wouldn’t see me as frum because I voted for Hillary and attended the March, but they will excuse Jared and Ivanka from anything. It’s something that hurts me always. I feel like I try to listen and reason, but it’s not reciprocated, and I still don’t understand how they can support him.” When asked what they would say to fellow observant Jews on the other side of the aisle, the responses were mixed. Michelle would want people to realize that Trump’s rhetoric is reminiscent of previous fascist leaders, and we need to be vigilant. His misogyny and racism are not in line with Torah values. And we must never forget that we were once strangers in a strange land. We need to fight for those who now face the same issues that we used to.” Deborah echoed the sentiment, saying that she would encourage her community to “rise up against tyranny, like Esther.” Marc was baffled by the situation. “I do not know how the majority of Jews, many of who claim to be pro-Israel, can vote Democratic now. There is a very real possibility that an anti-Semite will be running the Democratic National Committee. I am dumbfounded by their ‘liberal’ first attitude. Israel is central to who I am. I truly believe that if Israel were to be destroyed, Judaism would end. So as a very pro-Israel, pro-business voter, I have put my liberal social views on the back burner to vote for the survival of my people.” Mimi [a Libertarian and Trump voter in her 30s featured in “Red, Blue and Frum, Part I”] said that she was grateful to her liberal friends for protesting the things they perceive to be dangerous. “I’m watching and reading carefully. I get why they are afraid, I am just not sure that what they say is happening is exactly what is happening I want Trump to know that his every move is being watched. In fact, I felt more comfortable voting for him because I am pretty sure he won’t get away with” anything untoward, she said. She suggested that everyone afraid should “stay rooted in reality and history, and connect with real people. Read the other side with openness and understanding. We all need to admit that there is no ‘real’ news anymore. We just need to turn to each other and remember and be committed to the humanity of each person.” Tamar would remind an Orthodox Trump supporter that “as Jews, we are a minority that has an obligation to protect other minorities, and we believe in social justice. But I would begin by listening, not by releasing frustration or anger.” “The Orthodox community is very diverse and that there are a lot of perspectives,” said Jared. “We can disagree, but at the end of the day we’re still united.” “The fact that we can view the country so differently and still pray together, interact with each other, and sympathize with each others’ beliefs is uncommon in today’s political climate,” Leah said. “I think the political diversity of our community is a beautiful strength.” With G-d’s help. DeDe Jacobs-Komisar is a writer and theater professional who grew up in Baltimore and lives in Sharon, Massachusetts, with her husband and three sons.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Up n g i S

TS O P S — P ASA

ST! A F GO

JOIN US

for barbeque, Scotch and Passover Learning

Sunday April 2, 2017 6:00-9:30pm Beth Sholom Congregation 11825 SEVEN LOCKS ROAD, POTOMAC, MD

All Members, non-members, brothers, dads, cousins, etc. are welcome! The following giving levels support ongoing programs at Beth Sholom:

& SEDER SUMMIT HOSTED BY

RABBI NISSAN ANTINE WIN premium whiskies, sports memorabilia... TICKETS: $25 ea / 5 for $100 Must be present to win.

Tributes to dad/father-in-law available in the GNO Tribute Book:

$100

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

$500

Those ribs are unbelievable, and I will be taking home dinner for four. Also includes a listing of tribute to your dad/father-in-law in program book + GNO Kippah.

$360

Those ribs are unbelievable, and I will be taking home dinner for four + GNO Kippah.

$180

The ribs are great, and I’d love to take one doggie bag to go + GNO Kippah.

$100 The ribs are very good, and I’m definitely going back for seconds. We will be collecting gently used sporting goods for Leveling the Playing Field, who will then donate them to underprivileged kids.

Corporate & personal table sponsorships available!

Visit www.bethsholom.org and go to Guys’ Night Out and Seder Summit to register, or call (301) 279-7010 x206. FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT:

Mark Eidelman: markdeidelman@gmail.com Saul Goldfarb: saul@goldfarbinc.com

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

TORAH PERSPECTIVES

Lessons from Yitro: Priorities By Stephan and Meera Miller There are so many lessons to take from this week’s parsha (Torah portion), it’s overwhelming. Some say this is possibly the most important parsha in the Torah; I find this claim interesting, since this week’s parsha is named after a very important yet not a very well-known character in the Torah. Yitro was Moshe’s father-in-law, and a Midianite priest. He had seven daughters, one of whom became Moshe’s wife Tzipporah. He gave Moshe some great leadership advice. According to a midrash on Tractate Sotah 11a, Yitro was also one of Pharaoh’s advisors during the time they were trying to figure out what to do with the Jews. One of the advisors suggested the “final solution,” the second said nothing, and Yitro advised them to live in peace with them. We all know which advisor Pharaoh listened to, and that is when Yitro fled to Midian. Finally, despite the fact that Yitro was originally an idol worshipper, he eventually became the first Jewish convert. I have a special place in my heart for Yitro, being a convert myself–– that, and the fact that Yitro knew how to celebrate. When Moshe told Yitro what Hashem did, saving the Jews from Egypt, he made a feast and invited people to eat with him. Coming from a Christian background, I can relate to have taken part of idol worship; and, more flatteringly, being a truth searcher and rejecting falsehood upon discovering the truth of Judaism. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe sums it up nicely, “This Parsha [sic] is named Yitro to teach us that the way to acquire Torah is to follow the ways of Yitro. Search for truth and be critical. Reject falsehood. And when you discover truth, be ready to sacrifice everything for it!” People might not be so thrilled at this kind of adventure. One reason might be that our priorities are out of order, or just wrong. Yitro taught the value of making choices based on truth, and also the value of taking care of ourselves by getting help when we need it. Knowing our limitations and taking care of ourselves is a priority that is easily forgotten. So often, we forget to put ourselves on our list, despite the fact that it is so important to do so.

After Yitro heard of all the miracles that Hashem performed for the Jews, he went to look for Moshe. He found Moshe speaking with a long line of Jews, answering their questions. When he saw this, he said, “Why do you sit alone with all the people standing by you from morning to evening. You will surely become worn out… as well as this people that is with you” (Exodus 18:14-17). He essentially advised Moshe to delegate. He had other knowledgeable people answer smaller issues, while Moshe would discuss only the more complicated, big issues. This method of delegation is used in most big organizations such as the military in order to run efficiently. I remember how when I was in the military, we were taught this system. We were always supposed to try and solve cases at the lowest level possible first before any cases went to the higher-ups. Moshe listened to Yitro, which I think shows Yitro’s importance–– the greatest prophet who ever lived listened to his father in-law’s advice– and remember that he also asked Yitro’s permission to go back to Egypt to free the Jewish people.

Hashem made the Jews his chosen people to be a light unto the nations. How could we miss out on that? I think we live in a rat-race culture of always running, running, running. A car, if it’s not maintained and taken care of, will eventually break down and run out of gas. The same thing goes for people. You can’t give what you don’t have. That was Yitro’s point here. The next priority lesson Yitro taught was living up to the truth, which is the foundational priority upon which one should base all of their life decisions. The big question I most frequently get as a convert is, “Why did you want to convert?” One reason the question is the most interesting to people, aside from the obvious difficulties that converting to Judaism brings, is that being Jewish is

not a requirement in order to be a righteous person. Judaism teaches that there are seven Noahide laws that Hashem gave to non-Jews to follow. If non-Jews follow those, they are considered righteous people who have a share in the world to come. Also, why sign up to a group where there is so much hatred toward them that it has its own word, anti-Semitism? I think “why” is a fair question to get from people. I have had people tell me that they don’t think they would convert, given the option. I think an important question for people to ask themselves is, if they had the choice, would they still choose to be a Jew? This goes back to Yitro and priorities. What do we really care about in life? Rabbi Akiva Tatz says that if you want to know who someone is, ask them what they want in life. When we stop and think, what do we really want–– ease and comfort, or meaning and purpose? If we think of what we want to see in our lives when we look back on our lives after 120 years, what do we want to have accomplished? What do we want people to say about us? Whom do we want to have been? Selfish, gluttonous, honor-seeking, party animals, or the kind of hero with character that people want to teach their kids about? The people in the Torah are probably the most famous people in the world, and have had the most impact on the world, and yet none of their lives I would say would be labeled easy and comfortable. The Jewish people have spent the last 3,300 years teaching ourselves and the world that no matter who you are, man is subject to a Higher Power who demands morality and character from every individual. Could there be a bigger purpose? The all-powerful, all-knowing, loving Creator of existence cares about every second of your life and created eternity to spend it with you. Could there be a bigger meaning? If I was to choose to become a Noahide rather than a Jew, I felt like I would be missing something unique: the opportunity to be as close to the Almighty as possible, and the amazing community that Orthodox Judaism creates. Jews are required to consciously choose good in every action we take, from feeding our

The Miller Family (PHOTO CREDIT: PAOLO MARINO)

animals before we feed ourselves to not wasting time at work, improving ourselves continuously and sacrificing parts of ourselves and our desires that we once held dear in order to be truly good people. Could there be a greater heroism? Hashem made the Jews his chosen people to be a light unto the nations. How could we miss out on that?

References: http://www.aish.com/tp/b/lp/ 48942676.html https://www.torchweb.org/ torah_detail.php?id=141 Meera Miller was adopted from South Korea when she was two years old and grew up as a Catholic in Ostego, Minnesota. She joined the United States Air Force right after graduating from high school, and served four years while working on a degree in clinical social work. She eventually converted to Orthodox Judaism with her husband Stephan while taking care of her two young kids in Silver Spring, Maryland. Stephan Miller grew up in California and Washington State as a Christian. He joined the United States Air Force after graduating high school in 2002, and served for six years while earning a master’s degree in IT. He eventually converted to Orthodox Judaism along with his wife Meera, and is now a computer programmer living in Silver Spring with his wife and kids. The Millers are making aliyah in July 2017, iy”H.

Send in your Purim costume ideas and photos - the one with the most votes will win! Please email all submissions to editor@kolhabirah.com WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

TORAH MINUTE

Measure for Measure By Rabbi Yonatan Zakem After the miraculous exodus from Egypt, Moshe is reunited with his family, who has been brought by his fatherin-law Yitro. Moshe greets his fatherin-law with honor, proceeds to relate everything that has befallen the people of Israel, and enumerates all the kindnesses that Hashem has performed for them. Rejoicing over the news of the rescue and salvation of the Jews, Yitro exclaims: “Now I know that Hashem is greater than all the gods, for in the very matter in which [the Egyptians] had con-

spired against them…” (Exodus 18:11). As Rashi explains, Yitro had experienced every manner of idolatry and therefore could definitively declare that Hashem is greater than all other gods. After seeing the manner in which the Egyptians were punished, Yitro recognized that our G-d is greater than all others. What exactly was it about the punishment of the Egyptians that led Yitro to this realization? As the Midrash explains, Yitro took note of the middah k’negged middah, the measured reciprocity of the retribution, which was precisely commensurate with and parallel to the man-

ner in which the Egyptians had plotted against the nation of Israel. They resolved to throw the Jewish children into the water; they were, themselves, drowned in the water. What was it about this response that enabled Yitro to recognize the qualitative superiority of Hashem? Yitro had dabbled in every variety of idolatry and had experience with the common nature of that worship: You give me my offering, you serve me, and I will ostensibly give you sunshine or crops or health, and so on. None of these gods cared if you were nice to your neighbor or if you had gluttonously overindulged at dinner last night. There was no relationship with such a god. Not so with Hashem, the G-d of Is-

rael. Hashem is lovingly observing how we live our lives. He takes note of our thoughts, words and deeds, and responds to us accordingly. The middah k’negged middah of Hashem’s response to the Egyptians revealed the care and concern that He has for His world and how it is conducted. Yitro succeeded in appreciating, through the Divine providence of Egypt’s fate, the relationship, which Hashem maintains with His world. Fortunate are we to have a G-d who takes interest in our lives. Rabbi Zakem is a Kollel Scholar and Director of Community Outreach for the Greater Washington Community Kollel.

TORAH FOR KIDS

Shabbat Shira and Hakarat HaTov By Lisi Levisohn Last Shabbat was Shabbat Shirah, the Shabbat of Song. We read the Torah story of the Jewish people crossing the Red Sea when they were escaping from slavery. They must have been so scared to see Pharoh and his army chasing them! But a miracle happened, and the water split so that the Jewish people could walk through, to freedom. They were so happy and free, so they sang. There is a special custom to feed the

birds before Shabbat Shira, but why? One reason is that we want to thank them for teaching us how beautiful it is to sing. When we hear birds singing, we feel grateful for life and for creation. Doesn’t singing make you feel happy, grateful and free? Another reason we thank the birds is from a story about their thoughtfulness in the desert. There was not much food when the Jewish people were in the desert, so G-d sent a miracle: a soft food called mann that fell from the sky every

day. Every day the people gathered one portion; but Moshe told the people that on Shabbat, the day of rest, the mann would not fall. Instead, everyone should gather two portions on Friday. Well, a couple of trouble-makers decided to play a trick on everyone: they sneakily got up early on Shabbat morning and put mann on the ground. It was not a nice plan. They thought that the Jewish people would see the mann and stop trusting Moshe— and G-d. The birds were awake early, saw the

whole thing. and thought, “We can’t let this mean trick happen!” They worked together and quickly ate it all up, so that when the people awoke on Shabbat morning, the ground was clean just like it was promised. The birds in this story teach us that trust is precious, so we say thank you to the birds by giving them food. Lisi Levisohn is a licensed clinical psychologist and Developmental Neuropsychologist. Outside of her professional work, Dr. Levisohn teaches Science to kindergarteners at the Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy and coaches Girls on the Run, a program fostering healthy social-emotional development in preteen girls.

TORAH PERSPECTIVES

Principles from the Parsha: “Yitro Heard” By Joshua Z. Rokach The first chapter in this portion tells of Yitro, the high priest of Midian and Moshe’s father-in-law, joining the Children of Israel in the Wilderness and converting to Judaism. The first verse states, “Now Yitro . . . heard all that G-d had done for Israel His people [and even that He] had brought Israel out of Egypt.” Rashi and Ezor Eliyahu ask what, besides the Exodus from Egypt, Yitro had heard about. Rashi questions the lack of detail in the phrase “all that G-d had done.” Ezor Eliyahu wonders what Yitro would need to hear about, besides for the fact that G-d took the Jews out of Egypt. Whatever else happened pales by comparison with the great miracle of redemption. Rashi lists the splitting of the sea and the war with Amalek as “all the good,” which helped bring Yitro to the wilderness. Ezor Eliyahu points out that Rashi does not explain the significance of these particular events, as opposed to others, such as the mannah or Miriam’s well, which nourished the Jews. Nor does Rashi explain why the Exodus alone did not suffice to convince Yitro. Ezor Eliyahu fills the gap by pointing out a paradox. We read in last week’s portion, Beshalach, that G-d had disap-

proved of Moshe allowing the Egyptian rabble to join the Exodus. Yet, in Yitro’s case, the opposite occured. He earned the distinction of having a Torah portion named in his honor. In addition, the Torah gives him credit for an important judicial reform. (We see a parallel in Bamidbar 36, regarding the laws of inheritance. Verse 6 gives the daughters of Tzelaphchad credit. Rashi uses that as proof of the women’s righteousness.) Ezor Eliyahu explains that the Egyptians–– whom Moshe brought along– joined the Israelites for their own ends. The rabble absorbed few, if any, Jewish values. They incited the people to worship the Golden Calf. The rabble saw an opportunity to leave Egypt and gain a luxurious future. In contrast, the Torah tells us that Yitro enjoyed a good life. He served as the High Priest of Midian and he occupied an exalted position as the father-in-law of Moshe. From a materialistic perspective, Yitro had nothing to gain and all to lose by adhering to the Jewish people. In addition, the Egyptian rabble had seen only the miracles that G-d had bestowed on the Jews in Egypt. Yes, the Israelites suffered oppression in their slavery, but that belonged to the past. To the rabble, the future promised only utopian delight. At the slightest hint of

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

difficulty– real or imaginary– they incited the people against G-d. The Torah teaches us here that Yitro knew better. He had seen the Jews suffer as a nation and face danger collectively, even after they had left Egypt. The splitting of the sea and the war with Amalek exemplify this. The Jews could have drowned in the Red Sea. The Talmud states the Angel of Egypt argued before G-d that the Israelites and the Egyptians both had worshipped idols. They stood on the same moral plane. Only because the Jews would later accept the Torah did G-d save them. Amalek’s aggression presented an even starker case. Rashi in the previous chapter states that the name Refidim, the location of the battles, stands for laxity. Rashi in Devarim (25:18) states that at the time, the Jews “were tired and weary” of performing the mitzvot. The Jews had become careless in their religious observance, so G-d then sent Amalek against them. The Torah records in Devarim that Amalek had inflicted casualties. Even when Moshe took control, the tide of battle swung back and forth. (The Torah in Beshalach states that when Moshe raised his arm, the Jews prevailed, but when he lowered his arm, Amalek took the upper hand.)

Ezor Eliyahu concludes that unlike the rabble, Yitro had a sincere desire to join the Jewish people. Also, he harbored realistic expectations. The fortunes of the Jews would fluctuate. Therefore, G-d welcomed him Applying Ezor Eliyahu’s approach to the text of Verse 9 gives us a greater appreciation for Yitro’s courage. The Torah states, “Yitro rejoiced.” However, instead of ‫וישמח‬, the text uses ‫ויחד‬, from the root ‫חד‬, sharp. Rashi offers two reasons for the unusual language. Quoting from the midrash, he states that one rabbi holds that Yitro took a sword to circumcise himself. The other opines that Yitro felt a tingling sensation under his skin. A former pagan, he reacted to the downfall of idol worshippers, the Egyptians. Yitro will suffer even when the Jewish nation lives in peace. Yitro inevitably will suffer -- either physically or emotionally– from his decision to leave the cocoon of Midian. Nevertheless, with his eyes open, Yitro saw the good that would come from his joining G-d’s people. He took the long view and willingly sacrificed in the short term and medium term. Not only did Yitro hear, “Yitro realized.” He provides a model for us to follow. He teaches us as well to honor the strangers in our midst.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

HEALTH & WELLNESS A Clinical Psychologist’s Tips for Creating Safe Schools By Dahlia Topolosky Recently, I led a session for fifth graders at a local private school on the topic, “Putting Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes.” As part of the workshop, each child was invited to share an instance where they had felt disrespected (“Last week, a boy told me that I was the dumbest kid he ever met.”) and a peer was invited to reflect on what that student might have felt in that moment (“He must have felt really embarrassed.”). Incorporating lessons into school curriculum, such as this one on empathy, can help children learn to respect others coming from various cultures, religions

and socioeconomic backgrounds. As a result, they are less likely to engage in negative behaviors that can cause physical and emotional harm. What else can we do to make our schools places where our children feel safe? Too often I hear of stories of children who feel excluded, teased or bullied. Too often I hear from school staff that it’s difficult to monitor what happens between children outside of the classroom. While parents must continue to teach their children tools for responding to teasing or bullying, at the end of the day it is also the schools’ responsibility to create an environment where all children feel

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

safe. Students should be able to feel at ease everywhere on campus— in the cafeteria, in the library, in the rest rooms, on the bus and on the playground. While there are many steps that schools can take, here are a few suggestions for teaching the socio-emotional skills (like empathy) necessary to create safe environments for their students: • Run groups where students learn and are able to role-play the value of respect. • Improve training for school staff to keep an eye out for unkind or inappropriate behavior. • Provide better supervision in settings where there is little or no adult monitoring or supervision, such as bathrooms, the gym, playgrounds and the cafeteria. • Model respect in the way teachers speak to students and discuss religious or cultural differences. • Communicate clear consequences to students for mistreating others. • Facilitate friendships for students who have a hard time finding friends, and provide “jobs” for these students to do during lunch and recess so that they do not feel isolated. Let us work harder as a community to ensure that all students feel safe. Along with our desire to equip students

with strong academics and train them using advanced technology, it is our responsibility to emphasize the skills that foster a respectful learning space. Dahlia Topolosky, PsyD. is a licensed psychologist who works with children, adolescents and adults at Integrative Therapy of Greater Washington, a private practice in Rockville, Maryland. She provides assessment for psychological and learning disorders and integrates a variety of techniques including person-centered therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness techniques, and expressive arts to address issues such as anxiety, stress, depression, trauma, PTSD and anger management. Dahlia runs groups for parents on effective parenting and implements socio-emotional curricula in schools. Dahlia enjoys singing and playing guitar and, most importantly, spending time with her husband and four children.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

1 IN 10 ASHKENAZI JEWS IS A CARRIER FOR GAUCHER DISEASE

Gaucher disease type 1 is not included in the Dor Yeshorim screening panel, even though it is the most common Jewish genetic disease for Ashkenazim. And it’s treatable. Knowing your carrier status is extremely important as it can help a physician make an appropriate diagnosis and ensure the disease is managed well.

Genetic screening for Gaucher disease is simple; you just need to submit a saliva sample. National Gaucher Foundation is offering genetic screening for Gaucher disease and 100 other genetic diseases with no out-of-pocket expenses. Find out your carrier status today.

Call our confidential toll-free hotline at 1-800-925-8885 or visit us at www.GaucherDisease.org/GetScreened

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

A Year of Growth at National Gaucher Foundation At the age of four, Brian Berman, National Gaucher Foundation’s CEO, was diagnosed with type 1 Gaucher disease after suffering severe symptoms. The first person in the world to successfully receive enzyme replacement therapy for Gaucher disease, Mr. Berman’s personal journey from sick child to dynamic professional and married father of five has prepared him well for the leadership role he assumed in January 2016. Under Mr. Berman’s leadership this past year, NGF added innovative programing, welcomed new staff, and ushered in a fresh vision for the community’s future. Mr. Berman set a dual focus for the organization: increasing services for Gaucher patients, and boosting efforts to educate the public about the disease.

BRIAN BERMAN’S VISION: FAST DIAGNOSIS & OPTIMIZED HEALTH

For decades, Mr. Berman has successfully worked with Gaucher specialists to create a personalized care plan and increase his own quality of life. So, when the staff of NGF surveyed the community early in 2016, he was surprised to learn that most members were not being seen by a Gaucher specialist. It took a new patient an average of five years to get a diagnosis, which he felt was “absurdly long.”

Brian Berman, present day

Brian Berman, age 4

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTH: SEEING A GAUCHER SPECIALIST

An NGF program launched last summer called the Optimal Health Initiative (OHI) encourages patients to see a Gaucher specialist and to take a proactive approach to their health. The concept comes straight from Mr. Berman’s life experience. After suffering throughout his childhood and teen years, he began a new health regimen during college, exercising regularly and taking a prescribed course of vitamins and minerals to balance the effects of Gaucher on his body. “A person needs to really understand how the disease is impacting their body, and to do that you need to be tested in a deep way by specialists,” says Mr. Berman. With this vision as its guide, NGF has made key advances and had many proud moments in the past year.

He realized that NGF had to increase educational efforts, so that patients would get diagnosed and treated promptly. This led NGF 2016: MAJOR to a full-scale campaign, including creating videos and a new website with traffic coming HIGHLIGHTS • The CARE Program offers Gaucher from many new community members. “It’s patients and their families aid with really starting to work. It’s starting to get the insurance premiums. The program has word out there,” he says. This was coupled grown over the past year. Care+Plus, with an effort to inform key physician groups, which helps with certain out-of-pocket such as hematologists and pediatricians, expenses, was underused in the past. about Gaucher. Thanks to new funding, it was able to help more families in 2016. Expanding NGF’s patient services, including • The Optimal Health Initiative (OHI) its flagship program offering financial encourages Gaucher patients to see a assistance to patients and their families, is specialist who can track their health and another priority. “I’m proudest of our biggest adjust treatment. Since its launch, the programs, which are Care and Care+Plus. initiative has already benefited many They help so many people and do such veteran and new members. A patientgreat work,” he says.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

•

focused team is a key part of the program, so NGF has welcomed an optimal health advisor, a senior patient advocate and a medical liaison to the staff this past year. NGF launched a campaign to educate the public and the medical community about Gaucher disease with a new website, a newsletter (Gaucher Today), and advertising. This year, for Gaucher Awareness Month in October, NGF focused on increasing education and awareness in the general community. An NGF-produced video, Brian’s Story, went viral with almost two million unique views to date. NGF teamed up with JScreen of Emory University in Atlanta to provide no-out-ofpocket-cost Genetic Carrier Screening for a host of diseases, including Gaucher. Members of the NGF community met and shared with one another at a patient meeting in New York City featuring Dr. Pramod Kumar Mistry, a leading Gaucher expert.

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

In the coming year, NGF would like to reach out to young patients with type 1 Gaucher, and will continue its efforts to offer services to patients with type 2 and type 3 Gaucher, devastating forms of the disease. Key future goals include expanding the CARE programs and setting up a fellowship that specializes in Gaucher. Whatever the future holds, NGF is headed in an exciting direction. “I’m proud of all the initiatives that we’ve executed,” says Mr. Berman, “but the thing I am most proud of is the clarity of purpose we now have.”

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

HEALTH & WELLNESS A Key Component of Managing Parkinson’s Disease: The Right Fitness Program

Hover plank Forearms around center of BOSU. Lift hips to shoulder height. Hold position 10-30 seconds

By Justin Walls “...the simplest human contact could come to the rescue. One had only to take her hand, or touch her in the lightest possible way, for her to ‘awaken’...” –– Oliver Sacks, “Awakenings” In the course of my work, I have borne witness to several clients experi-

Stepping up and down on BOSU Place one foot just off center of BOSU and step up onto it like a regular step. Repeat stepping up and down on the left 20 times, then switch to the right leg.

encing the onset of Parkinson’s disease. They are dealing with and adjusting to the degenerative nature of this disease, and wondering how to deal with the possible loss of independence. In my work with Parkinson’s sufferers, we work on a routine that involves neurologically challenging exercises. The brain responds well to balance and

Focus on Fertility Many of us have personal experience with infertility or pregnancy loss … or know someone who does. Please join us for a panel discussion that will address the medical, emotional, and spiritual challenges facing couples and individuals in the Jewish community who are struggling to have children. A resource fair will follow, offering further information provided by event sponsors and partners as well as a pluralistic resource table staffed by local rabbis.

Panel Discussion and Resource Fair Wednesday, March 29 at 7:00 pm

Our Panel:

Dr. Julie Bindeman Dr. Lee Blecher Psychologist Parent and Physician

$5 suggested donation

Maharat Ruth Friedman Clergy

Dr. Bob Stillman Reproductive Endocrinologist

Squat on the Bosu Starting with your feet placed shoulder width apart and directly over the middle of the BOSU, push your hips back and bend your knees over your toes. Repeat ten times.

movement training involving lighter weights in several planes of motion on an unstable surface. My preferred workouts are smaller dumbbells (4-10 pounds) in either a standing, kneeling, or bridge position on a BOSU. The BOSU is an inflated half-sphere on top of a weighted base. BOSU is an acronym for “both sides up” and was developed to create a safe surface to work on balance. The Parkinson’s-specific fitness program design is meant to develop better control over balance, movement, and range of motion. These features are the hallmark of everyday activities such as walking, gardening with tools, shopping for groceries, brushing one’s teeth or eating a bowl of cereal. My clients have been successful in deterring the effects of the disease through this type of program. It requires regular attendance at the gym, adherence to a regular schedule, and meeting with a fitness professional such as myself to maintain and progress fitness goals. All of this should also be done under the supervision of the medical professionals managing the client’s treatment. Working with several professionals as a team to help the

client maintain their lifestyle and independence is a good long-term plan when it comes to managing Parkinson’s disease. If you or a loved one is looking for a gateway program to jumpstart your Parkinson’s disease strategy, then I would recommend the Edmund J. Safra National Parkinson’s Wellness Initiative at the Bender JCC of Greater Washington. Medstar Georgetown and the JCC have partnered to create a program designed for Parkinson’s sufferers and their caregivers. The program is 12 weeks and is starting up again soon. Classes include a strength class with weights based around sitting in a chair, a yoga class to improve flexibility in several positions, and a new boxing class! As Dr. Sacks points out, sometimes reaching out and connecting with sufferers gives the client a new sense of feeling sure they can do it, that they can be strong and independent in the face of the disease. Review the full class schedule at http://www.benderjccgw.org/event/parkinsons-wellness-initiative/. For more information about Parkinson’s fitness programs, email Justin at justin@rockvillepersonaltraining.com.

Anne Suissa Parent

to support mini-grants, which offset fertility- and adoption-related expenses for individuals and couples in the Washington, D.C. area.

Questions? Email Maharat Dasi Fruchter, maharatfruchter@bethsholom.org.

Congregational Partners:

Sponsors:

Beth Joshua Congregation Beth Sholom Congregation Congregation Har Shalom Ohev Sholom – The National Synagogue Washington Hebrew Congregation Temple Beth Ami

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Supine bridge chest press on BOSU Begin by sitting on floor in front of BOSU, then laying head, neck and shoulders across apex. Lift hips off of floor and keep arms at 90 degrees with weights. Press weights up 1015 times, keeping hips up and glutes engaged

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

HEALTH & WELLNESS Internet Addiction “I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! You love that stupid computer more than you love me!” Jonathan’s wife is heartbroken. It is the umpteenth time she has seen him spending time his time online, reading the news online, playing online games, and catching up on all the latest on ESPN. In between his copious amounts of cyber activity, Jonathan manages to hold down a job that he never found fulfill-

the more he craved it. He began to fantasize about chatting online, even when he was spending time with his kids. He couldn’t stop it even when he tried. He felt guilty and ashamed and he vowed that he would stop! And he did – for a week. But then he figured he would go online for a just a few minutes to check on his fantasy football team. The minutes turned into hours and somehow the football turned into chatrooms. This

South Korea considers internet addiction to be its number one greatest health threat to its adolescent/young adult population with at least 10% of that population being addicted to the internet and possibly as much as 50%! ing. Unfortunately, he "never had the time" to find a job that actually suited his abilities. How does he even manage to hold down a job with all the time that he spends glued to his phone and computer screen? Well the first things to go were all the activities that John liked to do in his free time – playing guitar and sports hanging out with friends and going to Synagogue. The next thing to go was his sleep. After that, his relationship with his wife and kids deteriorated – they were just distractions from his internet life anyway. Jonathan didn’t start out as a cruel and thoughtless person who didn’t care about his wife and kids, but the more time he spent online,

happened time and again. No matter what Jonathan tried he could not stop. Jonathan is the quintessential prototype of an internet addict. Internet Addiction is present and prevalent and perhaps the biggest problem of the 21st century. Along with all the convenience and benefits that the age of technology has ushered in, a whole new realm of psychopathology has been created as well. Know anyone who was a compulsive shopper before the internet? How are they faring now? What about someone who frequented adult stores? Or perhaps somebody with social anxiety? The ease of access that the internet provides, as well as the safety of anonym-

ity, has created an uncontrollable compulsion for those who are susceptible to its allure. Why suffer through the social anxiety of going to a party when you can hide away in your room and go to a virtual party via chatroom? Why go through the effort of picking up the phone and calling friends to see if they want to hang out, when you can just binge watch Netflix? The internet provides an easier, safer, and sometimes more exciting alternative to the daily grind of real life. The fact that Internet Addiction has not yet been included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is more of a referendum on the reluctance of psychologists to ‘evolve’ rather than the lack of evidence that pathological internet use is a severe problem. Research highlighting the extent of the havoc that the internet wreaks in people’s lives continues to mount rapidly. South Korea considers internet addiction to be its number one greatest health threat to its adolescent/young adult population with at least 10% of that population being addicted to the internet and possibly as much as 50%! According to the Pew Research Center, in the year 2015, 73% of Americans went online daily, 42% went online several times a day and a whopping 21% went online almost constantly. College students are hit the hardest by internet addiction, with anywhere between 13 and 18.4 % classifying as internet addicts. In the general population, the number of people who would be considered internet addicts ranges from 6 to 15 %. Additionally, it goes without saying that there are many more peo-

Therapists are Human: The Experience of Guilt from a Therapist’s Viewpoint By Jonathan Lasson The phone call came from a rabbi friend of mine. “Joe is dead, and they believe it was a suicide.” My reaction was typical for my personality. I asked the rabbi some basic questions, expressed my sympathies without becoming overly emotional, and then I obsessed. Joe had been a client of mine for close to a year. It all began with some testing required by Joe’s school because he was having difficulty, both academically and socially. The testing revealed that Joe possessed superior intelligence, but he also had a strong tendency to misread social cues. This led to social alienation and feelings of inferiority. Joe was becoming more and more reserved, which concerned his parents to the point of referring him for therapy. His interests had become narrower, and he seemed to take very little pleasure in activities that he once enjoyed. His siblings and friends had also noticed the change, but were too afraid or ambivalent to get involved. It appeared that Joe was improving with process-oriented therapy. In fact, the last time I saw him he looked better than ever. He had a spring in his

step, dressed more fashionably and seemed surprisingly calm, which was a stark contrast to the overly anxious Joe whom I had been treating for the past year. I should have taken that as a warning sign, but I made the cardinal mistake that many colleagues in the field make when assessing suicide risk. I interpreted his calm as a sign that he had made a miraculous recovery. In reality, the calm was most probably due to the fact that he had made up his mind to end his life and was now comfortable with his decision.

As a therapist, and I can only speak for myself, I felt woefully unprepared for the guilt feelings that would consume me As a therapist, and I can only speak for myself, I felt woefully unprepared for the guilt feelings that would consume me. I felt I should have done something different, a feeling therapists must confront after something drastic happens like the suicide of a patient. In my case this was certainly true. In hindsight,

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

I second-guessed myself and said all the common things that therapists think about after a suicide. Why did I not recognize the signs earlier on? I should have increased the number of sessions per week. I should have put together an anti-suicide contract. The guilt factor certainly plays a role in a therapist’s life. It can lead a therapist to question his abilities and, in some cases, leave the profession altogether. Informal conversations with my colleagues have led me to believe that post-suicide guilt is one of the most significant if not the major area of guilt that we experience as mental health providers. This sense of toxic therapist guilt might be the direct result of unresolved guilt feelings that have permeated the minds of therapists and counselors throughout time. Therapists are humans. We make mistakes. We feel guilty. Giving the wrong advice is almost never an intentional act. However, we tend to second-guess ourselves when things do not work out well for our clients, and we breathe a sigh of relief when our clients improve based on our skillful therapeutic techniques. Take, for example, Dr. Tim Smith, a clinical psychologist with over ten years of experience. All throughout his prac-

ASKIDEAS.COM

ple who abuse the internet but don’t classify as addicts. In regards to the internet problem in the orthodox community Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky says “I doubt that at any time in our history has there been as grave a threat to the morality of our people and to the stability of the Jewish family as the plague of addiction to (the) internet. It has ruined more marriages than anything. It has ruined families. It’s been terribly destructive.” In short, the internet has taken a hold of our lives in ways we never could have imagined. We are just beginning to see the devastating effects that the internet has wrought on people’s lives, but the problem is bound to get worse before it gets better. Hopefully, we can take the first step towards combating this issue by becoming aware that a problem does really exist and perhaps we can then take action towards a collective societal recovery. Akiva Goldschein is a Ph.D. candidate at Adelphi University. He can be reached at akivagoldschein@ gmail.com tice, Dr. Smith felt very confident about his abilities, and received many compliments and positive feedback from his clients. Then one day he received a call from the distraught mother of a 17-yearold girl who was hospitalized after she overdosed on barbiturates. She later died after not waking from her comatose state. A suicide note was left in her bedroom. The mother was calling to inform Dr. Smith of her daughter’s passing, and she wanted to reassure him that there was nothing he could have done to prevent her daughter’s suicide. She just wanted to thank him for trying. It does not always work out that a parent will call to assuage the guilt of the therapist. However, most therapists will experience a guilt that is similar to PTSD with flashbacks to previous sessions and the compensatory actions that follow the obsessive thoughts that are often self-destructive in nature. In short, therapists have emotions just like any feeling person. We experience guilt. We experience sadness. We experience loneliness. When I first entered the mental health field, I was told a “truism” that psychology is a lonely profession. Years later I can attest to that truth. Therapy can help even for the most seasoned therapists. Dr. Jonathan Lasson is a professor of psychology and a psychology associate in Baltimore, Md. He is looking forward to the publication of his first book “The Guilt Trap and Other Tales of Psychotherapy.”

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

BIG CHESED NEEDED!! Community minded G'vir and Askan looking for a single Jewish female to be a gestational surrogate to carry a child for a potential mother in need.

A healthy level of compensation will be provided.

Please contact editor@kolhabirah.com for more details. 50

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Maintaining Balance and Equilibrium in Turbulent Times By Simeon Pollock If you’re like me, you’re probably feeling that perhaps the world at large and even your own world is unbalanced at the moment. Perhaps, like me, you find it is easy to feel a lost sense of equilibrium and balance. These feelings can be unsettling, and the body absorbs the effects of a constant state of flux. How can one find balance when extremes become the norm? When our emotions and perspectives are constantly under assault by those who are not in agreement with us; when all the rules we knew, or thought were correct, seem no longer applicable by those who want to impose new rules–– it can be difficult to feel a sense of calm. Trying to keep up with information in a world that seems to be moving faster and functioning with less patience and more anger can be disconcerting. I am not a psychologist, so I won’t give psychological advice here. What I am is a healthcare practitioner, and because of my training I have a different way of looking at how the body responds to stressors. I am trained and practice as a licensed acupuncturist and a licensed massage therapist. As an acupuncturist, I look at things through the lens of what is called “traditional Chinese medicine.” While this lens is unknown to many people in Western culture, once understood it can be very helpful. Using Chinese medicine, an acupuncturist looks to restore and balance the body’s energies. This is essential to maintaining and restoring health, both physical and psychological. In Western medicine this is called homeostasis, the

maintenance of relatively stable internal physiological conditions under fluctuating environmental conditions. The body is constantly seeking to maintain homeostasis in order to continue normal functions. In Chinese medicine, the practitioner seeks to balance the yin and yang energies, thereby allowing the patient’s body to do the work of healing itself. This is a function with which the body is naturally endowed. We are always witnessing the healing of our own body, whether from a simple cut or an illness. Assuming that the body’s energies are strong, balanced and flowing correctly, one could and should remain healthy and have the ability to deal with whatever may come.

My experience over the years is that most people feel so relaxed after a treatment, they don’t want to get up off the table! Acupuncture is the most commonly known form of traditional Chinese medicine and also the one that engenders the most fear in people. People usually assume that because acupuncture involves the placing of needles into the body, pain is a necessary component. The only association most people have with needle insertion are vaccinations, often a painful experience, so why would they willingly have that done to them again or think it would help in any way?

Yin yang: “The body absorbs the effects of a constant state of flux.” (PHOTO CREDIT: FLICKR/NAQL)

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Most patients are pleasantly surprised that they felt either nothing or very little after the first needle was inserted. The experience does not meet their expectation, and I see the patient begin to relax. My experience over the years is that most people feel so relaxed after a treatment, they don’t want to get up off the table! If a person is still fearful of acupuncture, but still would like to be helped, there are other options. Chinese medicine is said to stand on three legs: acupuncture, body work and herbs. Body work or massage and Chinese herbal medicine are also very helpful and have been used safely for thousands of years all over the world. There are also other tools that acupuncturists have that can be employed to benefit a patient. Often I combine acupuncture and massage into a treatment, especially when there are issues involving muscles and other soft tissues. This has proven to be quite effective and beneficial to many with injuries stemming from activities of various kinds. Chinese herbal medicine is also very effective and safe when used correctly to either supplement an acupuncture treatment or sometimes as a standalone treatment. While much fear is also associated with this aspect of Chinese medicine, primarily fear of the unknown, it has been studied and used for thousands of years and is still used successfully all over the world. We may yearn for a perfect world in which there are no challenges to our ability to maintain homeostasis and energetic balance, yet that is not the way of the world. The reality is that we are constantly forced to deal with challenges and change, from simple changes in

Simeon Pollock (PHOTO CREDIT: GALYA FROST)

temperature, to complex emotional and physical obstacles, to other changes. Our bodies are constantly forced to seek balance and maintain standard operations. Chinese medicine and acupuncture are also not necessarily static treatments, but dynamic and always responding to what the patient is experiencing as well as the result of the previous treatment(s). We all understand that energy is not something one can hold in one’s hand, per se; but we all witness the effects of energy in our home (or the lack thereof in our region, from time to time) in the form of lights and the operation of electricity. I often compare the electrical grid to the body’s energy pathways as understood by Chinese medicine. If some connection in the electrical grid is damaged in some way, whether in our home or at some other place along the grid, the effect is readily seen and felt. Additionally, until the cause of the problem is found and corrected, the problem persists. Likewise, once a problem has been identified in the body, a practitioner of acupuncture can work toward a resolution to the problem. Practitioners of acupuncture or Chinese medicine seek to discover the underlying causes of imbalance in a patient’s energy system. Once identified, a course of treatment can be planned and, with the cooperation of the patient, implemented. Returning to the concept of homeostasis and balance, we can now understand why we feel so discombobulated. More than ever, we are asking more of ourselves and doing so in an environment that seems to be increasingly hostile to quiescence and tranquility. We seek to do more and demand more of ourselves lest we feel unaccomplished–– burning the candle at both ends, as it were. So why not seek to turn down the volume a bit and find ways to allow our bodies to maintain homeostasis and balance? It can be the beginning of restoring and maintaining our health and equilibrium in a chaotic and uncertain world. Quite honestly, I am truly amazed by the power of acupuncture in this capacity, and my sense of wonderment at its healing effects is constant. To partner with another person and with the One who truly heals the sick is an honor that I appreciate every day. Simeon Pollock, L.Ac., L.M.T. is Maryland-licensed in both acupuncture and massage. He has a private practice in Silver Spring. Simeon practices his unique style of holistic healthcare by blending acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, and massage therapy into a wonderful healing experience.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

BETH SHOLOM CONGREGATION presents

COMMUNITY SHABBAT DINNER WITH YACHAD ing m pco d u e ha th c t a u Y abo gton om! n r hin lea hol s e S a Com ater W t Beth Gre pter a Cha

FRIDAY NIGHT, FEBRUARY 24, 2017 ruach-filled kabbalat shabbat * community friday night dinner oneg and activities with Baltimore Yachad

$24.95 ADULTS/ $14.95 KIDS 4-11 KABBALAT SHABBAT 5:40 PM/ DINNER 6:30 PM Don't miss the rest of this amazing Shabbat! Shabbat morning davening with Yachad and friends Lecture with Shelley Cohen Parent Panel (15 mins after kiddush) featuring parents of children with disabilities from our community Inspirational Havdalah and Drum Circle

Shelley Cohen The Jewish Inclusion Project, Founder

Please register at www.bethsholom.org and email maharatfruchter@bethsholom.org to inform us of any accommodations.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

SP RTS Tim Howard Has Tourette’s ‑

But Tourette’s Doesn’t Have Him By Roey Herzfeld Tim Howard is a world-class goalie. In addition to playing goalie in the English Premier League for 13 years with elite clubs such as Manchester United and Everton, Tim Howard also played goalie for the US National team. Debuting in the CONCAF Gold Cup in 2007, Tim Howard has been the starting goalie in two World Cups and plays many tournaments for the US. One of his most impressive performances came in 2014 when he broke the record for most saves by a goalkeeper in a World Cup with 16 saves. What is most impressive, however, is that Tim Howard has done this all de-

spite his Tourette’s Syndrome. Life as a young boy was extremely difficult for Tim Howard, as he shares in his 2014 autobiography “The Keeper: A Life Of Saving Goals And Achieving Them.” As early as age ten, Howard experienced symptoms that basically robbed him of his ability to control his body and behavior. At age eleven, Tim Howard was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and Tourette’s Syndrome. OCD is an anxiety disorder in which a person has uncontrollable and repeating thoughts and behaviors. Tourette’s Syndrome, often referred to as Tourette’s or TS, is a neurological disorder characterized by both motor and

vocal tics, meaning uncontrolled movements and vocalizations. It is often associated with OCD. Neither can be cured completely, but both can be treated. For a young Tim Howard, these disorders only pushed him harder. In his autobiography, Howard recalls the tremendous amount of focus and effort he put into watching soccer legends such as Pelé and copying their exact moves. He also shares the difficulties of controlling his body and all its movements when he plays goalie. In his record breaking 16-save performance against Belgium in the World Cup almost two years ago, Howard’s TS acted up on numerous occasions during the

game. “When the ball was in the Belgian end, he would sort of let his body go,” reporter Rachel Nichols said, describing how Howard handled his condition. Although his extraordinary conquering of TS in this game was incredible to watch, it was nothing new to Howard, who has dealt with it his whole life. Tim Howard recognized he was a little bit different from everybody else, but he would not let that stop him from accomplishing his dream. The fact that he is an accomplished, super-talented goalie despite his illness is impressive–– but it is his use of his fame to educate others about this condition and encourage understanding of Tourette’s that makes him legendary. Roey Herzfeld is a sophmore at the Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy, where he plans on playing for the school baseball team this year. He attends Ohev Sholom - The National Synagogue every Shabbat.

Tim Howard in a match for Everton in 2016 (PHOTO CREDIT: FLICKR/ALEKSANDER OSIPOV)

(PHOTO CREDIT: FLICKR/ERIK DROST)

The Year of the Comeback By Efraim Andrew Wakschlag What a year to be a sports fan. Historic upsets. Buzzer beaters. Heartbreaks. Comebacks. All that was gift-wrapped to us sports fans last Sunday night in Super Bowl LI. But instead of focusing on the positive and the amazing comeback, I want to write about the negative, i.e. how the Atlanta Falcons joined the Cleveland Indians and Golden State Warriors by squandering unprecedented leads. Both the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Indians blew 3-1 series leads. The Falcons blew an unprecedented 25-point, second-half lead. But which of these three events was the most unprecedented? Well, let’s start with the Cleveland Cavaliers’ comeback against the Golden State Warriors in the 2016 NBA Finals. The Warriors were the best team in basketball; they played like an actual team, consistently shot the lights out of the gym, and were led by the first unanimous MVP Stephen Curry. They also topped the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls record of 72 regular season wins. The NBA Finals stage was set.

The consensus best player in the world–– LeBron James, whether you like it or not–– was set to take on the best regular season team in NBA history. At stake was LeBron James’ legacy. He was once again in the NBA Finals, this time with a healthy team and no excuses if he lost. If he won, he could one day claim that if Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love had been healthy in the 2015 Finals he would have won that year as well. If he lost, well, we all know what would’ve happened… The Cavaliers fought back after getting blown out a couple times, forced a Game 7 primarily thanks to LeBron’s heroics, and promptly ended the city of Cleveland’s unprecedented 52-year championship drought. In hindsight I don’t think the Warriors’ choke job was too bad, at least relative to the Falcons’ and Indians’ choke jobs. The Warriors would not have lost the series if Draymond Green didn’t get suspended for Game 5, and they certainly wouldn’t have lost if Andrew Bogut didn’t get hurt, forcing him to miss Games 5-7. That’s not just my opinion. That’s a fact. A few months after this historic comeback, we were treated to another

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

historic comeback. The 2016 World Series featured the two most futile teams in MLB history: the Chicago Cubs who had not won a championship since 1908 and the Cleveland Indians who had not won a championship since 1948. The immense pressure caught up with the Cubs, and their bats went cold as they scored just three runs through the first four World Series games. It seemed that the Cubs’ curse would live on. The odds were against them too; only six times in World Series history has a team come back to win after being down 3-1. The Cubs were resilient and forced a Game 7. In Game 7 momentum shifted a couple times seemingly until Rajai Davis hit a two-run homerun to tie the game at six in the bottom of the 8th inning. The Indians seemed destined to win until the rain delay happened, and everything changed. All-Star Anthony Rizzo called the rain delay “the most important thing to happen to the Chicago Cubs in the past 100 years.” The Cleveland Indians had three good chances to close out the Cubs and their best excuse was a rain delay. Pretty bad. Just when you thought another historic comeback was not possible, Super Bowl LI rolled around. Within the first few minutes of halftime the Falcons built a seemingly insurmountable 28-3 lead. Prior to this year, the largest over-

come Super Bowl deficit had been 10 points. Thanks to an abnormal amount of passing plays instead of running plays, as well as a couple timely sacks and turnovers, the Falcons pretty much did everything wrong while the Patriots did everything right. The Falcons had a 99.8 percent shot of claiming its first Super Bowl with 21 minutes to go in the game, and still blew it. The context also made the loss pretty awful. This may be the last time Atlanta will be in a championship series in any of the major sports for a long time. The Warriors in all likelihood will win it all this year, and the Indians may just get hot again at the right time and get redemption. Even Donald Trump joined the fun and shocked the world by winning the electoral vote, becoming the 45th president of the United States. In the last year we’ve witnessed possibly the three greatest choke jobs of all-time as well as a historic presidential election which nobody saw coming. What a time we’re living in that we can have a discussion like this. Efraim Andrew Wakschlag lives in Chicago and is a prolific sports writer, particularly on the NBA. He authored “10 Squared” when he was in Yeshiva University and currently writes for Facebook pages that have half-a-million Likes.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

SP RTS

When Education and Athletics Converge: A Coach’s Vantage Point By Brett Kugler It is widely assumed that most education takes place in a formalized setting locked within the four walls of a classroom. However, the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School girls’ middle school basketball team has had quite a different experience. While still within the confines of four walls, this team took their education to the basketball court. When I first took over the team last year, I had no prior coaching experience. I was new to coaching and new to this group of student

athletes. I wish I could say that I had high expectations, but I honestly had no expectations, as they were just as new to me as I was to coaching. My hope was to build a symbiotic culture of lilmod u’lelamed, to study and to teach, with both coach and players learning from each other. Early last year, I decided that if we were going to play together on the court, we needed to form a bond that reached further. The goal was to create an opportunity for the players to feel like their knowledge and connection went from the classroom to the court and back. It

Georgetown Hoya Maya Arie, Talia Kraner, Sophia Miller, Abby Alter, and Anna Berger. (PHOTO CREDIT BRETT KUGLER)

Top row: Vivi Arking, Sophia Miller, Jane Trainor, Maya Arie, Sasha Trainor, Zoe Fischman, Brett Kugler Bottom Row: Sally Rogal, Talia Kraner, Anna Berger, Avital Friedman, Abby Alter (not pictured: Elana Renbaum).

was at that moment that I decided to make each of our plays integrated with what they were learning in their Jewish studies classes. Each play was named after content found within the Tanach. As shouts of Esav triggered the team to trap like the aforementioned hunter, the players’ excitement built. At various points throughout the season, they would share with teammates that they had just started learning something in one of their Judaics classes, and that they already had a head start on the information because they understood what it meant based on their basketball practices. While these statements were followed by curious looks from peers and teachers alike, they were getting repetition in the classroom and on the court, which helped them to learn the plays faster and connect to their learning. After a tough loss in the championship during our first season together, 10 of the players from last year’s team returned and were ready to push further this year. With the continuity that they had developed on and off the court last year, this year got off to a great start. The team won seven of its first eight games and expanded the list of plays to include titles such as teivah (based on the number of people on Noach’s ark), Shemot, and choshech (darkness). We worked to integrate additional skills, as well. Obviously, there was a focus on basketball skills such as rebounding, boxing out, setting screens and smart passes. However, the team also had discussions that focused on morals and ethics, and how these traits directly correlated with sportsmanship. They also learned about showing gratitude and valuing the time of others by creating hand-written notes that they gave to their parents,

thanking them for the time that they spent bringing them to and from games, and supporting them along the way. In addition to the past two seasons allowing for a great deal of athletic and academic growth, the team also got to have some fun outside of the building. Each year started with a team “dinner and a movie” (sports themed, of course). This year, the team also had the opportunity to play an intra-squad game as the half-time show at the Georgetown University vs. Creighton women’s basketball game. They participated in different skills challenges during quarters, played an eight-minute scrimmage, and got to form high-five lines to welcome the Georgetown players onto the court for the second half. As our season draws to a close, and with the hopes of a championship still in our sights, several things are clear to me. First and foremost, this is an incredible group of girls. Each player not only demonstrated a tremendous love and respect for the game and for each other, but also made enormous gains in the form of life lessons. In addition, I have no doubt that they will always be there to support members of their community, and will always remember the first time they shouted Sedom! as they tried to crush the infrastructure of the opposing team’s offense. Brett Kugler is a graduate of Berman Hebrew Academy with a BA in Studio Art from the University of Maryland and an MS in Special Education from John's Hopkins University. He has been teaching at CESJDS for the past 11 years. He enjoys spending time with his family, working as the youth director at Young Israel Shomrai Emunah, coaching and volunteering at NCSY.

Zoe Fischman and Sasha Trainor take the opening tip during an intrasquad game at halftime of the Georgetown University women's basketball game.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FOOD & DINING Israeli-Style Chocolate Orange Tart By Shushy Turin My mother grew up in Israel with a fig and carob tree in her backyard. She would tell me stories of how tu b’shvat was a special time, a real celebration to appreciate the fruits of the land. That is why every year on Tu B’Shvat, I get nostalgic for the good ole Israeli treats like Crembo and chocolate-covered orange peels. To me, there is no better way to celebrate the fruit (literally) that Israel has to offer than by making the beautiful tart with the best citrus in season. Tu b’shvat may have passed but I’m still hung up on this treat all year long. Note: if you are not a fan of chocolate-covered orange peels you are welcome to peel the oranges before boiling them in the sugar syrup, it just won’t look the same. Or, just skip the oranges altogether and top with some berries and chocolate shavings. Oreo crust 36 Oreos with filling 5 tbsp butter or vegan butter 1/4 tsp cardamom Chocolate ganache 2 c chocolate, I prefer a mix of dark and light 1 c heavy cream or canned coconut milk Pinch of salt 1/4 c butter or vegan butter Orange topping 3 blood oranges 2 cara cara oranges (you can use any oranges) 2/3 c sugar 1 c water In a food processor fitted with an S-blade, process the Oreo cookies along with the butter and cardamom until the mixture resembles a fine sticky crumb. Press the mixture into a tart pan. If desired, you may bake the crust at 350 degrees for

about eight minutes or until the crust is crisp. Otherwise place into the refrigerator to chill. In a medium saucepan over low-medium heat, add the chocolate, cream or coconut milk, salt and butter. Allow the mixture to melt, stirring constantly so that the mixture doesn’t burn. Once all the ingredients are integrated, allow it to cool for five minutes before pouring the chocolate into the Oreo crust. Place in the refrigerator to cool for at least two hours. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, boil the sugar and water until the sugar is integrated. Add the oranges and allow the mixture to return to a boil. Then allow it to simmer for 20-25 minutes or until the oranges begin to wilt slightly. Remove the oranges from the syrup and place in a single layer on a cooling rack to dry for 8 hours or overnight. Reserve the syrup for another use. Remove the tart from the fridge and arrange the oranges on top in a pattern of your choosing. Allow the tart to come to room temperature and serve. The tart and oranges may be prepared up to two days in advance. Do not place the oranges on top of the tart until up to one hour before serving. When Shushy Turin isn't becoming a family nurse practitioner or taking care of her two adorable children, she enjoys creating recipes, learning new cooking/baking techniques, exploring food cultures all over the world and putting things in parentheses. She recently moved from New York to join the Silver Spring, Maryland community. She has a popular Instagram page and blog @cookinginheelss and writes recipes for Binah Magazine, Joy of Kosher, Kosher. com and The Jewish Echo, among others. Her favorite ingredients include tahini, miso, and nutritional yeast (sometimes mixed together), and she firmly believes that using and knowing quality ingredients is key to a great recipe!

PHOTO CREDIT: SHUSHY TURIN

Attention Caterers, Restaurant Owners & Kosher Food Businesses! Promote your business to over 40,000 local readers in our area! Email editor@kolhabirah.com and select from a variety of promotional options WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FOOD & DINING

Curative Cocktails: A Little Zing for Fighting Wintertime Ills By Gamliel Kronemer It’s February in Washington, and if this year proves to be like most, we can look forward to lots of cold, wet weather— the sort of weather in which coughs and colds abound. When I find myself falling under the weather, wine ceases to be my beverage of choice and I usually start to long for a piping hot cocktail. There is something so very soothing about drinking a hot cocktail when feeling ill. Perhaps it’s the way that a hot cocktail can make one feel warm from the inside out, or perhaps it’s because a hot cocktail’s alcoholic steam, if only momentarily, can really open up the sinuses. While no cocktail can reduce the severity or duration of a cold or cough; personally, I find that after I’ve finished a hot cocktail, I just don’t mind being sick quite so much. In preparation for winter’s worst, we provide three easy, tasty, recipes for classic hot cocktails.

The Hot Toddy This hot whiskey punch, first mixed in Scotland, in its most traditional iteration, is a simple mixture of sugar, Scotch whisky and hot water. Today, the drink is more often made with American whiskey, and most contemporary recipes also include lemon juice and spices. To my taste, the best toddies are still made with Scotch whisky, and in particular I like to make my toddies with a well-balanced single-malt that’s not too peaty, such as Glenlivet or Dalmore.

¼ cup single-malt Scotch 1 lemon 2 tsp. turbinado sugar 4 whole cloves Nutmeg ½ cup boiling water Using a very sharp vegetable knife remove the peel from about ½-⅔ of the lemon (depending on size) being careful not to remove any of the white pith. Place the peels and the sugar in the bottom of a glass or mug, and press briefly with a wooden muddler or the bowl of a wooden spoon. Set the glass aside for about 45 minutes, and when you come back you will find that the sugar has drawn out much of the peels’ essential oils. Quarter the lemon, and squeeze the juice of one quarter into the glass. Then, add the whisky, cloves and boiling water, and stir until the sugar is fully dissolved. Grate a little Nutmeg on top.

The Locomotive This next recipe is adapted from a recipe found in the world’s first cocktail guide, Jerry Thomas’s 1862 book, “How to Mix Drinks or the Bon Vivant’s Companion.” This rich and satiny-smooth concoction was likely invented in the early 19th century, at about the same time as the vehicle for which it was named. ½ cup of Bordeaux-style red wine (Yarden’s Mount Hermon Red, Baron Herzog’s Merlot, Recanati’s Merlot, and Chateau Bellerives Dubois Bordeaux would all be good choices) 1 tbsp. Cointreau

2 tbsp. honey 2 egg yolks, well beaten Combine all the ingredients in a small saucepan, and stir until the honey is fully dissolved. Place the saucepan over a low flame and stir continuously until the mixture is about to start simmering. Remove the saucepan from the flame before it actually starts to simmer, and serve immediately.

Hot Buttered Rum This ever-popular winter warmer was most likely invented in New England, which during the early days of the republic was one of the world’s biggest rum producers. This particular version of the drink is also based on a recipe found in Jerry Thomas’s, “How to Mix Drinks or the Bon Vivant’s Companion.” ¼ cup dark rum (I like to use a pungent, full-bodied Jamaican rum like Smith & Cross, but more common-

ly available brands, such as Myer’s, will also work well) ½ tsp. whole allspice berries ½ tsp. whole cloves 2 tsp. turbinado sugar 1 tsp. unsalted butter ½ cup boiling water Put the spices into the glass and crack (not crush) them with a wooden muddler or the bowl of a wooden spoon. Add the sugar and about a quarter of the boiling water and stir until the sugar is fully dissolved. Then add the butter, rum and the rest of the boiling water and stir until the butter has melted. A note on drinkware: I find it best to prepare hot cocktails in those small, footed, glass mugs known as either London dock glasses or hot toddy glasses. The clear glass allows one to appreciate the color as well as the flavor of the drink. Earthenware mugs and teacups are also good choices for making hot cocktails.

YGW announces second season of “DC EATS” Silver Spring, MD (February 12, 2017)– Starting this month, the metro Washington kosher community will have the opportunity to be part of the latest and greatest dining available in the DC area, thanks to “DC Eats” – A Kosher Dining Club. As stated in USAToday,” The dramatic growth of the city’s restaurant scene, from high-end steak houses and ultra-posh eateries to neighborhood cafés and ethnic destinations, has turned Washington into a major food city.” Now signature DC dishes will be prepared kosher for the first time, by the restaurants that made them famous. In this second season of the Yeshiva of Greater Washington-Tiferes Gedaliah (YGW)’s fundraising project to support Jewish education, five celebrated Washington area restaurants will bring their cuisine to the kosher public over five member-only evening events. The restaurants include Centrolina (Feb. 28), Equinox (March 20), Cava Mezze (April 26), Grapeseed (May 22) and Ciao Bella (June 19). As first season participant Brasserie Beck’s Brian McBride, Executive Chef of the Robert Weidermaier Group, remarked, “’DC Eats’ gives us the opportu-

nity to share our cuisine with a community that until now hasn’t been able to join us. It’s a way of coming together.” He continued, “Anytime that we can do something both innovative and enjoy-

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

able and at the same time benefit kids and education, that’s something we can get behind.” “DC Eats” – A Kosher Dining Club was developed by YGW and this sea-

son they have partnered with the staff at Satori’s Kitchen in Potomac, MD. All meals will be hosted at a specially designed space at Beth Shalom Congregation, prepared by the guest restaurant chefs, and supported by the chef team at Satori’s. Diners can attend by purchasing a membership, either the “Basic Plan,” which costs $180 and grants two diners seatings at each of the five dinners, or the “Family Plan,” which costs $360 and accommodates families with children 18 and under for up to six people at each event. The membership fee supports the YGW’s educational programming and does not include the price of dinner, wine, tax and gratuity. Diners can expect to pay under $50 per person per meal, excluding wine, beer, or specialty cocktails. For more information and to join “DC Eats”, please go to www.dceatskosher.com. The Yeshiva of Greater Washington-Tiferes Gedaliah, now in its 53rd year, is a community school dedicated to providing a high quality Jewish and General Studies education to local students. www.yeshiva.edu

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COUPONS B’’H

Brooklyn Sandwich Co. is now offering

CATERING & PRIVATE EVENTS 10% OFF Your Next Order (must present аd)

Address: 2142 L St NW. Washington, DC 20037 At the intersection of L Street 22nd Street & New Hampshire Avenue

Telephone: 202-785-4314 Sunday - Thursday 11:00 AM - 9:00 PM Friday 11:00 AM - 2:30 PM

Office Lunches • Receptions Sporting Events • Festivals Birthday Parties

Complimentary Glass of House Wine with Entree Valid until Feb 28, 2017

•••

Info@BrooklynSandwichCompany.Com

Café Shawreen Mediterranean Cuisine 188 Rollins Ave Rockville, MD 20852 301-770-3003 www.cafeshawreen.com

Home of the best kosher Mediterranean, Persian and Middle Eastern Cuisine. You can enjoy all of your favorite kabobs, pita sandwiches and gourmet dishes while keeping kosher.

15% oﬀ your total purchase

10% oﬀ any catering order over $150

Not valid with other promo�ons or coupons. Expires 6/30/17

Free Dessert with the purchase of $25 or more

Free Bowl of Soup with purchase of $15 or more

Not valid with other promo�ons or coupons. Expires 6/30/17 WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

Not valid with other promo�ons or coupons. Expires 6/30/17 February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Deep Dish

FOOD & DINING

Love in the Afternoon: Lunch at Russ and Daughters at New York’s Jewish Museum By: Fran Kritz Editor’s note appended.

’ve been in love with Russ and Daughters, a 102-year-old appetizing store on New York’s Lower East Side, for decades. And that was without ever eating a morsel of their food. Now having lunched—three times in six weeks–– at the store’s newest (and first kosher) outpost at the Jewish Museum a few miles uptown, that love is finally requited. And worth the wait. Russ and Daughters at the Jewish Museum (museum admission fee not required for restaurant diners) 1109 5th Avenue at 92nd Street Kashrut under National Kosher Supervision For more information: 212.475.4880, extension 3 info@russanddaughters.com http://russanddaughters.com/ jewishmuseum/ How can you fall in love with a food store without taking a taste? Credit Calvin Trillin, the longtime writer for The

New Yorker magazine. It’s not just how deliciously Trillin has always shared his Russ and Daughters shopping list with his readers— smoked salmon with slices he describes as “thin enough to read a newspaper through,” fresh cream cheese and baked farmer cheese. Through Trillin’s pen, the food, clearly delicious, almost seemed to come in second to Trillin’s shopping experiences at Russ and Daughters, often with his two daughters in tow. In “The Magic Bagel,” an essay Trillin wrote for The New Yorker in 2000, Trillin says transactions at Russ and Daughters “took some time since the daughters (of Joel Russ, the founder…) had to quit slicing fish…to tell me in glorious detail how adorable my girls were.” In fact, “The Magic Bagel” is about Trillin’s quest—with an assist from Mark Russ Federman, then the owner of the store–– to track down a type of bagel one daughter enjoyed as a child in the loving hope that it might lure her back home from a job, a good one, in San Francisco. And in “Tepper Isn’t Going Out,” Trillin’s 2003 novel about a man who continually finds the best parking spots in New York City, one such spot is right smack in front of, you guessed it, Russ and Daughters. Hard not to share Trillin’s devotion,

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

even without a soupcon of sable, when hanging, behind glass at the Russ and Daughters Café (not kosher) on Orchard Street, around the corner from the original store on East Houston Street, is a shopping bag, decades old and lox stain intact, that Trillin presented to the current owners and Russ great grandchildren Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ' Tupper, when they opened the café in 2014. Love indeed. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a food store that tells its pa-

trons: “All orders are to be placed at least 3-5 days in advance, unless in the event of a funeral/shiva.” So, imagine my delight when friends on Facebook announced the opening of the first kosher Russ and Daughters enclave several months back. Worth going to? The lines don’t lie. And neither does the menu. You can get the requisite nova and schmear, sold here as “boards”

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 60

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FOOD & DINING

This Wine Costs What? At least now you’ll know why. By Joshua E. London Ever wondered why a bottle of wine costs what it does? One of the perennial complaints amongst kosher wine consumers is the general rise of kosher wine prices. There is, of course, a school of thought that maintains that most complainers engage in complaining because, well, the “complaint” is simply their preferred mode of expression. Like the old joke about the elderly Jewish man who kvetches “Oy, am I thoisty!” until a bystander who can no longer stand the complaining fetches him water to quench his thirst, to which the old man responds, “Oy, was I thoisty!” Whether those who query rising prices are merely kvetching, or genuinely desiring an answer, isn’t so essential. The question remains a good one: why does this wine cost what it does? Jeff Morgan, the vintner and co-owner of the kosher Covenant Winery, in California and Israel, recently addressed this question in a blog-journal post on the Covenant Winery website, in a short essay: “Truth in Wine: what is a bottle of wine worth?”

Morgan began by offering the safest and surest advice on wine buying—his secret to success as a wine consumer is first, “not to buy wines I can’t afford” and second, “not to drink wines I don’t like.” Exactly so. I’ve advocated the same for as long as I’ve been scribbling about booze. At any rate, Morgan tackles the “truth” about wine prices by clearly explaining some of the factors involved.

For the first 10 years of Covenant, I made no salary. Instead, I made wine for other people and wrote books to make ends meet. The United States market for alcoholic beverages is structured around what is called the “3 tier system” of distribution to the consumer—the late great importer Joe Dressner used to call this the “three tier schnook system.” The three tiers are 1.) importers or producers, 2.) distributors, and 3.) retailers. Typically, the producer or importer sells to a wholesale distributor, who in turn sells to restaurants and retailers, who then sell to consumers. Each tier obviously needs to make a profit, so each tier prices the wine based on the cost of the previous tier, with the increments determined by market forces. As Morgan explains, wineries typically sell to distributors at half of the final retail price. This is known as the FOB, or “freight on board”, and represents all the costs associated with the product until it is delivered to its designated destination, which in this case is the distribution tier in the three tier system. So the FOB price is all that the winery will get per bottle out of the entire arrangement, and so must encompass all the winery costs—from vineyards to facilities and equipment, staff, any loans, costs of maintenance, general administration, and, of course at least some margin of profit. Putting the proper FOB together can be as much art as science, given the many variables of the wine industry. So, for example, if the FOB is $20— that is, the distributor pays the winery about $20, the distributor will then sell to the retailer or restaurant at about a 33% markup, or $27. The retailer will then add roughly a 50% markup on his cost. So a $40 bottle of wine at your favorite wine shop represents only around $20 to the winery. Restaurant markups vary widely as determine by their costs, but are often twice the retail price—so that $40 bottle might be $80 or so in a restaurant. The winery will still only clear $20 for the bottle.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

In practice, of course, this tends not to be so neat and tidy. “With all the variables,” notes Morgan, “it’s impossible to say with any certitude what profit a winery is going to make on this wine. But it’s very possible that the total investment in that bottle—given all the costs of doing business—is perilously close to the price that the winery charges for it.” This is to say, it’s a tough racket to do well in. Elsewhere online I’ve seen estimates that when demand is very high, and business is booming, a commercially successful winery’s profit margin could be 30-50%, but when business is low and slow, the profit margin could be 0-15%. Even still, the variables can, alas, be high and punishing. “Suffice it to say,” Morgan adds, “that I’ve been in the wine business for nearly 30 years, but I have yet to make any ‘easy money.’ In fact, for the first 10 years of Covenant, I made no salary. Instead, I made wine for other people and wrote books to make ends meet.” Even though some wineries get lucky and make good money quickly, “the rest of us,” he says, “are generally happy to stay afloat and make wines we are proud of—at a number of different price points.” As I write all this, I drown my complaints with a glass of Covenant Napa Valley 2014 ($100): A superb blend of 57 percent cabernet sauvignon, 31 percent merlot and 12 percent petit verdot, this complex wine offers a bit more upfront finesse than more usual 100 percent cab offerings, with notes of black currant,

Jeff Morgan, Winemaker and Co-Proprietor of Covenant Wines

black cherry, blackberry and thyme, a little spice, subtle espresso and delicate vanilla oak. Very drinkable now with a little air, but should cellar for the midterm. Absolutely worth the price, if you can afford it or, like me, have generous friends with deep pockets who share. L’Chaim! Joshua London writes regularly about kosher wines and spirits for a variety of Jewish publications around the country. He lives in Potomac, Maryland.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FOOD & DINING Deep Dish ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 58 replete with your choice of bagel, bialy, shissel (Yiddish for bowl) rye or pumpernickel, tomatoes, capers and onion, and varieties of smoked fish. A nod to the modern also includes smoked yellowfin tuna, and goat and horseradish/dill cream cheese ($18 to $23). It is your father’s Russ and Daughters…so long as he picks from his side of the menu. Traditional dishes include knishes ($10) kasha varnishkas (with the trendy touch of a poached egg on top, $9) and vegetarian chopped liver ($11) with buttered, toasted Matzah, you won’t be-

lieve is Streits. And yes, there’s lox, eggs and onions ($21), but also gravlox tea sandwiches ($14 with thinly sliced apple strips and mustard seeds on toasted pumpernickel). And doubtful that when your dad’s mom served deviled eggs ($14) she topped them with wild Alaskan salmon roe like they do at the Russ and Daughters restaurant, but, you both should give them a try. The menu was carefully constructed with a welcome for anyone. “How do you maintain a continuity of tradition while moving things forward is the questions Josh and I are guided by every day,” says Niki Russ Federman. At the Jewish Museum restaurant the Russ

I believe in Kol HaBirah!

Congratulations to Hillel, Bari, Rachel and the entire Kol HaBirah family on all your hard work.

The Kemp Mill Squatters are proud of you!

heirs wanted options for people keeping kosher and steeped in the appetizing store culture as well as people new to lox and bagels. “Platters” ranging from $95 to $110 which serve three to four, are both 101 entry level and 401 advanced lessons in the best of Russ and Daughters, piled high with ‘fixins such as capers and onions and offering elegant arrays of smoked fish including Scottish and Gaspe Nova smoked salmon, baked salmon, sable and smoked brook trout. But there’s also a new favorite, well, my new favorite, called the Pastrami Russ made up of pastrami cured salmon, muenster cheese, pickle, sauerkraut and mustard and served on a pretzel roll ($16.) Non-lox lovers, should they be in your party, can feast on several salads including a Red & Golden Beets salad with walnuts, grapefruit, watercress, pumpernickel and goat cheese dressing ($18) and a mixed greens salad ($12) with options like a poached egg, kippered salmon or pickled herring for a few dollars more. The “sweet” section of the menu reads more like brunch than dessert but don’t let that stop you. Top picks include blintzes ($11) served with farmer cheese, fruit compote and sour cream, chocolate babka French toast ($13) and a noodle kugel served warm in its own ramekin ($10). Drinks include a chocolate egg cream made with Fox’s U Bet syrup (if you have to ask you won’t care; a farshnikit version includes whiskey). Consider a small cooler when you pack for the trip. What you didn’t choose

off the menu is available at a takeout appetizing counter at the front of the restaurant. Check out the wallpaper while you’re waiting for your “to go” order of whitefish salad or schmaltz herring. The numbers are meant to conjure up the machine in the Russ and Daughters store that dispenses paper tickets so you know when it’s your turn.

When You Go: The restaurant is open from 11 am to 4 pm on weekdays (except Wednesdays when it is closed) and Sundays from 9am to 5:45 pm. No tips allowed (17 percent is added to the bill) and no reservations either, except for Shabbat lunch. Expect a wait for weekday brunch and lunch, but you can saunter up to the museum (admission fee required) or gift shop (no fee) and the restaurant will text you when your table is ready. As of January 28, the restaurant is open for Shabbat for prepaid reservations only for $54.94 per person including tax and tip (more if you add alcohol.) The meal is served cold and includes grape juice or wine for Kiddush as well as challah. Editor’s note: This article was originally published in our February 2, 2017 issue without the author’s name and is reprinted here with additional type and formatting corrections. Fran Kritz is a long time health reporter whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, Forbes Magazine and the New York Jewish Week.

Judaica Fine Art By Aitana Perlmutter

Commission paintings inspired by holidays, Parashot HaTorah, and special occasions AitanaPerlmutterArt.com aitanaperlmutterart@gmail.com

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CAPITAL ARTS

Keep Still and Carry On By Nancy Schreiber The supercharged, super-fast, super-crowded and super-loud environment at rallies and marches makes it difficult to engage with a work slowly and quietly. This is the reason the exhibition “Enacting Stillness,” introducing politically engaged art to be contemplated and seen quietly and at one’s own pace, is so timely and important in the realm of art today. “Enacting Stillness” is an exhibition of social-justice engaged work sponsored by the Shelley & Donald Rubin Foundation at The 8th Floor gallery in New York. The 8th Floor is a private exhibition space established to promote cultural and philanthropic initiatives. Inspired by the Shelley and Donald Rubin Foundation, whose website notes its exploration of “the potential of art as an instrument of social change,” its exhibitions

express the tenets of tikkun olam, showing artists’ attempts to make the public aware of situations and inspire them to consider solutions to fix the world. This exhibition featured several artists’ performances (both live and video) as well as sculpture, collage, printed and painted work addressing topical and ongoing themes in world politics, drawing attention to the various ramifications of policies and the people they affect. Stillness can function as a space for contemplation itself or thinking about what action might be taken to bring awareness to problems in the world, ultimately influencing the viewer to bring about change. Stillness allows time to contemplate the best route to take, the best way to bring awareness and influence. Watching videos of stillness in acts of political resistance from India to the Occupy movement around the world, I

Video still from “Transmigration of the SOLD” (2006-2016) by Yoko Inoue

Digital print from “Be African-American, Be very African-American” by William Pope.L

found myself quiet and still and agreeing with curator Sara Reitman’s words in the catalogue that “an individual who is quiet is not necessarily idle.” Watching Bruce Nauman’s “Dance or Exercise on the Perimeter of a Square” (1967-1968, choreographed by Meredith Monk), where Nauman dances, limited within the confines of a square drawn on the floor, to the point of fatigue, I found myself contemplative. Close by is Kirsten Justesen’s “My Skulptur II” (1968), incorporating a black and white photograph of Justesen

in a fetal position, confined within a box on the gallery floor. Frustrated with the position of woman as object, often on a model’s step, Justesen gives up to curl inward, confined within the limits of the box she might recently have been modeling on, literally boxed in. In “A Familiar Repetition” (2016, inkjet print), Kameelah Rashad excerpts texts by Nina Simone, James Baldwin and Martin Luther King Jr. on “the long

ÂÂ CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE

FREE TO SEE

George Washington’s Mount Vernon By Dina Rokach On August 17, 1790, President George Washington visited Newport, Rhode Island. He was greeted there by city officials and clergy. Moses Seixas, President of Congregation Yeshuat Israel, welcomed Washington as the leader of a new democracy “which to bigotry gives no sanction, to persecution no assistance.” A few days after leaving Newport, Washington wrote to Seixas, “May the children of the Stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other Inhabitants; while everyone shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree, and there shall be none to make him afraid.” The warm sentiments expressed by George Washington surely make his home a fitting destination. At Mount Vernon, learn more about this historic figure–– the first President of the United States and Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army–– in a personal setting, the place he called home for most of his life. Expect crowds on the free admission days and plan accordingly (after all, the admission charge the rest of the year is a whopping $20). Plan to arrive at Mount Vernon when it opens at 9 a.m. or shortly thereafter. Traffic jams ensue in the early afternoon, and be prepared on departure for as long a line of cars as you might experience leaving a stadium parking lot. None of this should deter you, however; the flow of tourists is managed very professionally, the crowds move along in an unhurried and organized manner. It is also advisable to bypass the Ford Orientation Center and head for the line distributing timed entry to the mansion. You can always backtrack to watch the 25-minute film and see the exhibits at the

orientation center after you’ve taken the tour and walked the grounds. In preparation for your visit, download the map from www.mountvernon.org so you can plan your visit: click on the dots for descriptions and note those of interest on your copy of the map. The “What to See” page features more detailed descriptions of the different venues. Scroll to the very bottom for “Things to do with Kids.” Depending on the weather, you may choose to stay indoors after a tour of the mansion and make your destinations the orientation center and the museum. Otherwise, enjoy the extensive grounds and watch the special Presidents’ Day events on the grassy lawn of the parade grounds. Military units marching in period costumes with muskets perform precision

Potomac River. There are also plenty of benches on the grounds of the estate, many overlooking scenic vistas, perfect for resting your feet. The Reynolds Museum is a trip in and of itself. The museum boasts room upon room and display upon display detailing the many-faceted life of George Washington as a child, a teenager, a surveyor, a young member of the military, a planter, a statesman, a military commander, a revolutionary and a man who refused to hold onto power and left the presidency after two terms. The displays are well conceived and the visual presentations are exciting and innovative. Don’t miss the state-of-the-art 4D theater experience complete with sound effects, smoke, and vibrating seats.

drills there from 11:15 a.m. to 11:45 a.m., and a stirring 30-minute musical program begins at 1:00 p.m. Visit the website’s “Calendar” page and make sure to scroll down to see down for all of Monday’s events. If you can, take time to sit in one of the rocking chairs on the back porch of Mount Vernon and, just like the Washingtons did, relax while gazing at the

Plan to spend the entire day, save your map, and return on another free admission day to continue where you left off. Whenever the opportunity availed itself, George Washington headed back home to his beloved Mount Vernon. Take a break from the hectic life of the capital city and go back in time to visit this serene rustic oasis along the water’s

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

edge. You too will be drawn back again and again. ================================= George Washington’s Mount Vernon 3200 Mount Vernon Memorial Highway Mount Vernon, VA http://www.mountvernon.org/ 703-780-2000 Admission is free only on Feb 20 and 22 of this year and every year on Presidents’ Day. Free admission on Feb 22, Washington’s actual birthday, is determined on a year-by-year basis. Admission gives you access to: The plantation house set on a 500acre estate comprising gardens, outbuildings (storehouse, smokehouse, stables, coach house, wash house, ice house, salt house, overseer’s quarters, spinning room, gardener’s house), George and Martha Washington’s tombs, farm and animals, slave memorial, wharf on the Potomac River, and orientation center; open 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. on Presidents’ Day and Feb 22. Grounds are cleared 30 minutes after closing. Donald W. Reynolds Museum and Education Center and retail shops, open 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Museum’s last admission is one hour before closing. Opening and closing times are dependent on the time of year. Information in this column relates only to the two free admission days. Getting there: By car: Via George Washington Memorial Parkway to Mount Vernon, south end of the Parkway. Parking is free; you will be directed to an overflow lot if necessary and there will be shuttle buses to satellite parking areas. By Metrorail: Yellow line to Huntington, change to Fairfax Connector Route 101 to Mount Vernon, last stop. (Check wmata.com for a bus schedule and for service advisories before heading out.)

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE wait for changes to racial, economic and political inequality.” The distorted letters and format frustrate the viewer trying to read them, similar to the frustration of waiting for that change. “Transmigration of the SOLD,” Yoko Inoue (2006-2016), features an Asian woman in a booth on Canal Street in Chinatown, New York. She is festooned with American flag motifs, surrounded by items commissioned by her from knitters in Isla Amantani, Peru. She sits unraveling a knitted American flag. Rarely is a message so beautifully and minimally expressed. Clearly asking, Is America unraveling?, we empathize and understand. Sara Reisman notes this piece in the catalogue as a “reversal as a form of resistance.” Bringing the objectification of women into the mix, Kimsooja also created “A Homeless Woman - Cairo” (2001), a video of a performance piece where she posed as a homeless woman in various places

around the world, prone on the ground upon an elevated rock, lying motionless to be silently contemplated by the noisy urban crowds passing by her. Should we disturb her? Can we? What is our responsibility to this peaceful, sleeping, homeless woman? And do we acknowledge her as a living being, or only an object to be stepped around? That responsibility is also questioned by the video “Sympathy for the Devil” (Claudia Joskowitz, 2011). An apartment building in LaPaz, Bolivia, houses both a Polish Jewish refugee and Klaus Barbie, the Nazi known as the Butcher of Lyon, who as neighbors and refugees share more commonality with each other than with many of their fellow Bolivians. Having both escaped, living side by side affords them a forced neighborly relationship despite hating each other because of what they are. In current times, many citizens of the world and our nation are forced to coexist and interact though they differ greatly and of-

ten despise each other. If both are to live, they must live side by side. This questioning of identity and reason to coexist despite unbelievable differences is also present in William Pope.L’s instructions to “Be African American. Be Very African American.” which asked people to perform “blackness.” One resulting interpretation, mounted on the gallery wall traces the path through a building of a person seemingly escaping, followed by a linear tracking device. Although Brian Friel famously said in his play “Dancing at Lugnasa” that “if you can do nothing else, dance,” Brendan Fernandes in his “The Working Move” (2012) photographs dancers interacting with plinths. Whereas Sara Reitman writes that this “calls into question how physical labor is valued in the production of art,” I saw the plinths as obstructions to the continuance of the dance, much as Dara Birnbaum, years ago in her “Wonder Woman” video (1978-

1979), arrested the movement of her female subject with the barriers of trees. More artists are exhibited here to convincingly address the need for co-existence, contemplation and stillness in a society and world moving too fast. Although the artists could not have contemplated them at the time they created these works, recent events concerning the status of immigrants in our nation, admittance of refugees and the inalienable rights of women relate to and magnify the significance of the images of immigrants, people of racial and ethnic minorities and the woman unraveling the Old Glory-themed knitted piece in this exhibition. Perhaps we need to go forward from this period of slogans and quick snatches of mass messaging on video screens to contemplate and dissect the messages put forth by individual artists, and members of the society they are part of. This exhibit, in its quiet questioning and confrontation, makes a good start.

Come for the Arts, Stay for Torah at ATARA By Nancy Schreiber Rarely, if ever, has a concentration of arts programming come to the Baltimore area like the upcoming conference for Jewish Women in the Creative and Performing Arts. Marking the 10th anniversary of ATARA, The Arts & Torah Association for Religious Artists, the conference promises an exciting program of events held over three days. From Thursday, March 2 through Sunday, March 5, various venues in Baltimore will offer multi-programmed, participatory, professionally led events and exhibitions of dance, theater and the visual arts. As well as classes in mime, mask making and creative writing, practical instruction in intellectual property law and commercial training for artists, will be included. “The arts have tremendous, unique abilities— to captivate and unify, to draw out deep and often inaccessible emotions, and to convey ideas through art, music and movement that cannot be expressed or captured by language,” said Michelle Penn, owner and director of La Zooz Dance. Penn is both involved in or-

ganizing this year’s event with Director Miriam Leah Droz and is also one of the weekend’s performers. Opening the conference on Thursday night, Rabbi Lisbon, a local Chabad Rabbi and talmid chacham (learned individual) will give a Torah perspective on music and art. Robin Garbose, LA based filmmaker and producer of more than three feature length musical films, will give the keynote speech, “talking about her vision for the future, using the arts in education. “ She will also teach acting, directing and screenwriting, according to conference producer and director Miriam Leah Droz. Featured artists will include the “Kosher Mime,” and the classically trained vocalist Bracha Adrezin, who has performed solo throughout Europe and at the Vienna State Opera. Also speaking will be Toby Klein Greenwald, author, playwright and theatre director, and many more songwriters, musicians and theatre artists. Baltimore women’s orchestra Ayelet HaShachar will play and Penn will perform contemporary work with Abby Pines, renowned vocalist. Miriam Gottlieb will perform on the piano and lead

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

workshops for children and adult women in all forms of dance. Penn will also provide an overview to all forms of dance taught at La Zooz. Elena Tal will perform with MC Leslie Ginsparg from Baltimore Girls’ Night Out Open Mic series to continue the fun and entertainment for women at the ATARA conference. Shabbat will feature kosher food, theatre games, group a cappella singing and Torah. Talks during Shabbat, by Rabbis and Rebbetzins will include “Music in the Torah, revealing the importance of music in Judaism and a workshop on Niggunim (Melodies), and the impact of Niggunim on the person. On Motzai Shabbat (Saturday evening), original music and choreography will be performed by women for women. Sunday will open with workshops on techniques and more from working artists in all areas, so you can learn how these amazing artists do it. Afternoon programs will rock for Junior ATARA including music composition from younger artists, live-streamed performances from Israel, and a matinee show with theater, instrumental music, and visual artists showing, playing and talking about their work. Families and

guests are welcome at delicious meals and hospitality can be provided with registration. Throughout the conference, CDS, DVDs, books and prints will be available for purchase so you can remember the exciting arts you saw and heard. “This ATARA conference offers us a chance to deeply connect with other Jewish artists, collaborate, witness and learn from each other,” said Penn. “Whether you are coming as an audience member at a performance, attendee at a workshop, or experiencing the Shabbaton, you will absolutely walk away feeling inspired and deeply connected to, not only these artists from around the world, but also to the deeper part of yourself.” All programming for Motzai Shabbat (Saturday night) through Sunday will be at Bnos Israel, 6300 Park Heights Ave., Baltimore, Md. 21215. Please check the schedule to see which events are for women only. For a detailed schedule, go to the ATARA website, www.artsandtorah.org. To purchase tickets, go to http://atara2017baltimore.eventbrite.com For registration and queries e-mail: conference@artsandtorah.org , telephone 410 340-1000, text: whatsapp 443-742-2937 evenings 7-10 EST.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT LARRY SHOR’S GREATER WASHINGTON

The Story of “Cousin Kirk” I am sure that many of you saw the news in December that the legendary star Kirk Douglas turned 100 years old. It turns out that we have a family connection that goes way back. Here’s the story: Kirk Douglas was born Issur Danielovitch in Amsterdam, New York, just a short distance from Albany where my dad Nate Shor a”h was born. (How the family got to Washington in 1944 is the subject for another column). It turns out that our two families are somehow related; cousins of cousins, etc. In 1953, Dad was working here in Washington as a salesman for Universal Pictures. These were the days when all the film companies had exchange offic-

ing of the movie, when Dad says, “We have a relative in common.” Kirk stops in his tracks, whirls around and says, “Who?” “Louie Simon,” answers Dad. “Stay right there! Don’t move!” Kirk says, “I’ll be right back!” Sure enough, Kirk comes back and invites Dad into his dressing room. They start talking, and after playing upstate New York Jewish geography, Kirk says, “So tell me about yourself.” “Well,” Dad says, “I just got out of the Army for the second time, and I just got married.” “Mazel tov!” Kirk exclaims. Dad says, “My new wife is a big fan of yours. Do you think you could give me an autographed picture for her?” “Of course.” He makes out the pic-

es in major cities. Dad got word that Kirk Douglas was going to make a personal appearance to plug his latest picture at the Loew’s Capitol Theater. The theater was located at 14th and F Streets, N.W. and was the largest movie theater in Washington, seating over 3,500 people! (Today it is the site of the National Press Building). Being resourceful, Dad called the manager of the theater, Joel Margolis–– who was a friend of his–– and asked if he could come meet Kirk Douglas. “Sure,” he said, “come on down.” Dad goes down, is taken backstage and meets Kirk Douglas. After the usual exchange of pleasantries, Kirk is about to leave to go on the stage before the show-

2017

Send your local Sports pics to:

Sports@kolhabirah.com!

FEATURING Los Angeles Filmmaker Robin Garbose The Creator of Hit Web Series 3 Soon By You Vienna Trained Opera Soloist Bracha Adrezin Students & Faculty from Tzohar Seminary for the Arts and Camp Tizmoret Shoshana

Promote your business to the Jewish Community! Advertise in the

See concert & full weekend discounts below.

Promote your business to the Jewish Community! Advertise in the H

dinner, seudat shlishis & afternoon program, $40. Call (240) 478-1924 Call or email ads@kolhabirah.com

(240) 478-1924 or email ads@kolhabirah.com

Original Singer-Songwriters Esther Leah Marchette Franciska Kay Nechama Cohen

Send us your news, events and photos! Professional Local Talent Ayelet HaShachar Baltimore Women's Orchestra LaZooz Dance School Elena Tal & More!

Send to

editor@kolhabirah.com

ture, “To Roslyn. All My Love. Kirk Douglas,” and hands it to Dad. Kirk then says, “Well, Nate, I have a mazel tov coming, too. I just got married!” Dad says to him, “Would you like an autographed picture?” Kirk laughed until he cried. After that, they kept in touch for many years. Once, when I was a teenager and working for Dad in the movie theater, the phone rang and the person asked for Dad. I asked who is calling Seeand something they said they were calling for “Mr. Douglas”. Whatnear did I know? I thought happening your it was Mr. Douglas from the plumbing home? Know of an company. Dad gets on the phone and afevent coming in how are ter a pause I hear himup say, “Kirk, your community? you?” KIRK?!?! What did I know? Birthday, “Cousin” Kirk! Biz a TweetHappy it to: @KolHaBirah hundred un tzvantsik! (Until 120!) NEXT TIME: To my mom, Roslyn Shor, z”l, on her 16th yartzheit… 6

movement, writing, art & lmmaking

If you want to write about local politics, interesting Afternoon Programs: people and things to do, contact editors@kolhabirah.com

Promote your business to the Jewish Community! Advertise in the

Promote your business to the Jewish Camp Tizmoret Shoshana Community! Advertise in the

List your events in our Community Calendar. Advertise your services in our growing

Classifieds section!

hasrnmsn@gmail.com

ORGANIZATION INFO, CLASS DESCRIPTIONS & ARTIST BIOS: www.artsandtorah.org

Call (240) 478-1924 or email ads@kolhabirah.com 10

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Call (240) 478-1924 or email ads@kolhabirah.com

editor@kolhabirah.com

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

FUN & GAMES

STATEPOINT CROSSWORD THEME: US PRESIDENTS ACROSS 1. Sometimes greener on the other side 6. Moray ____ 9. United ____ Emirates 13. Piled up a debt 14. Cross country foot gear 15. Tequila source 16. UV light absorber 17. *Fala to F. D. Roosevelt 18. Andrea Bocelli, e.g. 19. *He also went by name Jack 21. *One of 4 to die of natural causes while in office 23. Hostile 24. Sub station? 25. Opposite of hence 28. With minimal sound distortion 30. *President submits one to Congress 35. River obstruction, pl. 37. Cyrano's distinctive feature 39. Covered with fungus 40. Wet nurse 41. Better then good 43. Christmas Day in France 44. Short skirts 46. Small European freshwater fish 47. Hefty volume 48. Whine

50. Jerk in Yiddish 52. Ides mo. 53. "For Pete's ____!" 55. Hawaiian dish 57. *First Baby Boomer to become President 61. *Andrew or Lyndon 65. Don McLean: "Drove my chevy to the ____" 66. Spermatozoa counterpart 68. Cuckoo 69. Nautical cease 70. Collagen target 71. Mulled wine 72. Refuses to 73. *____ Harvey Oswald, JFK assassin 74. Without deductions DOWN 1. Get the meaning of something 2. Level to the ground 3. At another time, to Romeo or Juliet 4. Saddam Hussein's Islam 5. *Delivered at inauguration 6. Sports award 7. Augment 8. Like a ballerina 9. Wine quality 10. Hindu princess 11. Shakespeare's hometown river

12. Mountain in Germany 15. Nero's court 20. Faulkner's "As I Lay ____" 22. Priest's robe 24. Polio, e.g. 25. *Presidential father or son 26. Gavroche, e.g. 27. Muscat resident 29. *He pardoned Nixon 31. Negative contraction 32. Low light 33. a.k.a. dropsy 34. *"Tippecanoe and ____ Too" 36. Convict's weapon 38. Per person 42. Pace of music 45. Six lines in a sonnet 49. ____-tzu 51. "____ and aahing" 54. *Grassy ____ of JFK assassination 56. Like most intimate circle of friends 57. Raven's foot 58. Left to a Russian 59. Director Reitman 60. It empties when kids move out 61. Humorous anecdote 62. Kind of palm 63. Cross to bear 64. Nessie's Loch 67. Contend

● Each row and each column

must contain the numbers 1 through 4 (easy) or 1 through 6 (challenging) without repeating.

● The numbers within the heavily outlined boxes, called cages, must combine using the given operation (in any order) to

produce the target numbers in the top-left corners.

● Freebies: Fill in single-box cages with the number in the top-left corner.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

FUN & GAMES Answers to crossword

Answers to sudoku

Adventures of Abie

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

ADVICE

Overwhelmed by Success Dear Rivkie, How do you suggest I handle a project I started that has become much larger than I anticipated so quickly? It is exciting that this is the case, but I am not able to fully handle the onslaught of emails, tasks and interest from all sides that want a piece of me, and I wonder how you suggest I go about dealing with that so I can relieve myself from being overwhelmed? Sincerely, Harried Hershel Dear Harried Hershel, Well, well, well, success is a double-edged sword, it seems. First of all, this is the time to get one or more interns, tout de suite! The Berman Hebrew Academy, for example, has an internship requirement for their seniors, and I’m sure there is no shortage of bright, promising young men and women who are dying to work in your field. Although I don’t know you, you seem like a lot of fun, so I’m sure you’d have more than one willing subject. The most successful people

are the ones who also are the most willing to delegate tasks that they know they can have someone else do to their satisfaction. Make a list of the things that you could have an intern or a hire do, and then find one or more people to do them

soon. On the other side, make a list of things that only YOU can do, so it’s clear in your mind. Furthermore, use whatever resources you have in terms of older, wiser, more experienced people who are in your field and pick their brains. Bet-

ter yet, find a mentor– someone willing to gently guide you on your path. Hatzlacha and much success to you on this and many more endeavors in the future. Best, Rivkie

Job Search Nugget: Introducing Chameleon Resumes By David Marwick for KempMillJobAssist From time to time, we will highlight sources of free online information that can help in your job search. Although these sources are typically for-profit ventures, to interest people in their services they provide some information for free. Today’s focus is Chameleon Resumes (www.chameleonresumes.com). Lisa Rangel is the company’s founder and managing director. Her free services include webinars, “cheat sheets” on resumes and LinkedIn, an e-book, weekly podcasts, and a blog. Although she states that executives are her target, there is much of value here for executives and non-executives alike.

Webinars Rangel provides periodic webinars on writing resumes and using LinkedIn. The webinars last about an hour. If you sign up for an online seminar but then can’t watch it live, you can usually get a link to view it for a couple of days afterwards. You can learn about upcoming webinars by visiting www.chameleonresumes.com and clicking on Events. Warning: Rangel typically provides only a few days’ notice before these webinars.

“Cheat Sheets” on Resumes and LinkedIn The resume “cheat sheet” includes pithy comments about various sections of the document, such as contact information, summary, work experience, education. Similarly, the LinkedIn “cheat sheet” explains the importance of having a professional photo and a complete profile and details the amount of available space for various fields and the more effective content for those fields.

• http://resumecheatshTheeet.com/ • http://linkedinprofilecheatsheet. com/h

e-Book “99 Job Search Tips from an Executive Recruiter” (available at http://bit.ly/ 16ClDsA) explains how your LinkedIn profile can help hiring managers find you, how you can find your own job leads, and how you can use Google to avoid bad employers.

Weekly Podcasts Earlier this year, Rangel started a series of weekly podcasts, about 10-12 minutes each, on the theme “Pretend You’re Fired Today.” The premise is that even though you could be fired with little or no notice, you are not prepared to start searching immediately for a new job. Be proactive, not reactive! Topics so far have included: • Pretend You’re Fired Today: My Story Behind the Podcast • Executive Resume Trends in 2017 • Finding Keywords to Optimize Your Resume • How to Write an Achievement-based Resume Recruiters Will Love • Tips to Write a Powerful CIO Resume

To learn more about Lisa Rangel, visit her LinkedIn profile at https://www. linkedin.com/in/lisarangel.

Job Search Nuggets are provided by KempMillJobAssist. Please direct questions or comments to the author at DMarwick@JobAssist.org.

Josh Breitstein 301-346-7838 jcars613@gmail.com fax 301-592-0224 Associated with dent repair shop and body shop

Automotive Sales Custom Car Shopping Service

Blog Posts Rangel frequently adds blog posts to her website at http://chameleonresumes.com/blog/. Recent blog posts include: • Is Your Resume Readable on Mobile Devices? • Frequently Asked LinkedIn Profile Questions Answered • Common (But Important) Resume Questions Answered • 7 Ways Recruiters Will Attract and Hire Talent in 2017

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

ASK THE DATING PANELISTS IS IT OKAY TO DOUBLE DATE?

The Dating Coach

Multiple Dating

The Single

By: Rachel Burnham

By: The Shadchan Next Door

By: The Single

People have varied opinions about double dating, or what I’ll call more broadly multiple dating. Some think it’s cruel, dishonest, inappropriate and rude. Others believe it’s a time saver and that it helps the dating process move more quickly by providing the ability to directly compare and contrast. In my opinion, the appropriateness of dating multiples depends on four unique and personal factors, presented here as questions. How old are you? Double dating is a bit of an acquired taste for the more experienced dating palate. As horrific or glamorous as double dating may sound, it isn’t for everyone and it can be very exhausting. If you are 19 and just home from seminary, or 22 and just starting to date, there are a lot of variables up for grabs in your life. You’re likely trying to figure out a career path, where to live, and maybe even busy planning for your friends’ engagements and weddings. Multiple dating is not advised while you’re just beginning to get your dating feet wet. Rather, spend more time focusing on each date so that you can more fully understand who you are, what you need, how you date and how the process works. On the flip side, I once worked with a client who was 57, female and widowed with five children. Time was not on her side and options were few, so she had no choice but to double date when more than one good idea came up. How far do you have to travel to date? If you live in Australia and spend a couple thousand dollars for a New York date, you bet your bottom dollar you are dating multiples and most people will accept that as an obvious reality. Do you have dating maturity? Dating isn’t a game and multiple dating most certainly isn’t. Dating is not a place to go comparison shopping. Your dating partners are real people with real feelings, whether they show it or not. Playing with people’s emotions by leading multiple people on to believe you are interested in them is wrong!

When More is Truly Less: Finding your Rose Among the Many Thorns I was pondering the answer to this question when I came home from a pediatrician’s office. This was a first time visit with the doctor for my five-yearold. This wasn’t the first time taking my child to the doctor’s office - I am not THAT kind of parent. I did however finally have the nerve to take the leap and try a new doctor, five years later. Not just any doctor and not just any practice. The practice that many of my friends had been raving about and pediatricians I consulted with brought their own children there. Alright, I thought to myself, this was going to be my game changer. My child was going to love this doctor. My current pediatrician was ok I thought, just so many little things kept on bothering me, maybe I could do better. I knew this bold move at a new practice was going to be the right fit…until I walked out. What? It wasn’t the perfect fit? Not only was it not the perfect practice, not that any practice is, it made me adore my current pediatrician! He was such an amazing diagnostician, so flexible and so on top of things. He also really knew my child. So what if they still used a type writer and the other practice had electronic charting? The bottom line was, why didn’t I try the other practice earlier? This could have saved me from five years of doubt and agonizing. Looking for the right “shidduch” in a doctor, echoed for me a similar shidduch quest in my many years of dating for marriage, and now in matchmaking.

W.H. Auden wrote that in relation to a writer, most readers believe in the Double Standard: they may be unfaithful to him as often as they like, but he must never, never be unfaithful to them. Much the same might be applied when considering the question of double dating; our heads may easily justify things for ourselves that our hearts are indignant about in others. Having dealt with this issue from the angle of both toiling single and hapless shadchan, the perspective gained, along with the attending understanding of both head and heart on the issue, my position has boiled down to that very Jewish answer of: it depends.

You should be asking yourself or a dating mentor the four questions we explored earlier before you begin multiple sifting to make sure you approach the process in a balanced and healthy way

Dating more than one person usually means you’re merely acquainting yourself with more than one person, to determine if it will lead to “relationship dating” or not

Double dating is serious dating on a faster track. If you can’t juggle what you’ve said from one dating partner to another, think double dating is a way to have fun or a game, or are feeding your ego by getting more dates than others, you are probably not ready for it. Do you know your dating personality? Dating can be a draining experience and for some and a single emotional drain at a time is more than enough. A person who is more deliberate, focused, introverted or less comfortable with multi-tasking will often find multiple dating to be difficult. For Type A multitaskers and extroverts, multiple dating can feel quite comfortable–– even rewarding! Some people do well with many options and like the freedom of choice as opposed to others who get overwhelmed by too many choices. If multiple dating sounds scary, intimidating or burdensome, don’t do it.

So to the question of dating more than one person at time, I say: yes--most of the time. Most of the time, it only takes that short visit to know if that person could potentially lead to Mr. or Mrs. Right and you could stop wondering about the “random kiddush ladies” suggestions. The reality of dating is that most of the people are not for you, and you need to find the rose among the thorns that could match up with you. The problem is that if dating ends up lasting more than one or two years, onto five or ten years, the effervescent glow that you bring to your dates tends to dull. This is primarily due to fact that the pattern of your dating life has lead you to believe that things will not work out. Additionally, the monolithic and systematic disappointment has forced a tunnel vision thinking pattern, insisting that you must make the current option work, for that is the only option. Therefore you begin turning down a phone call or a meeting with a potential someone, while secretly wondering about that person while dating someone else, and the mind games begin. This is not to say that the “may the best man win” philosophy is legitimate, au contraire, it is highly narcissistic and detrimental to relationship development. Rather, I am encouraging a “can we really know” philosophy: Keeping yourself open to possibilities that may lead to Mr. or Mrs. Right. Dating more than one person usually means you’re merely acquainting

ÂÂ CONTINUED ON P. 70

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

I would not begrudge someone the opportunity to play the field as long as they can quickly realize when the game is starting and decide which stadium they want to attend When considering the extremely truncated timetable of Frum (right-of-center Orthodox) dating, it becomes imperative to carefully monitor one’s ability to focus on the matter at hand. In the span of a few months, you will endeavor not only to get to know, understand, and connect with a stranger, but also to lay the foundations for a life of growth and service of Hashem together. A break in concentration means overlooking important pieces of the puzzle and a disjointed, incoherent dating experience. Conversely, the stresses and rigors of everyday life may make it difficult to fit in the long parcels of time necessary to properly invest in a date, something especially complicated for those who are geographically disadvantaged, located at a distance from the main population centers of Orthodox Jewry. Double dating would seem to run counter to the former idea, splitting your concentration between multiple potential spouses, while the latter would strongly validate it as the pragmatic thing to do, helping to maximize the time available and cover more ground before ground covers you. To mitigate the conflict between these competing needs while still allowing myself to sleep at night, my hard line is that double dating is generally inappropriate. Since we date with an eye towards marriage, the utmost respect and consideration must be afforded to your date du jour, no matter jaded you may have become. That being said, under the extenuating circumstances of significant travel, it would seem excusable to me for a single to date multiple people simultaneously for a very brief period, not more than three dates apiece. This would allow you to accomplish a significant amount of inquiry while still being able to divest from this polyamorous situation before any potential relationships become serious. I would not begrudge someone the opportunity to play the field as long as they can quickly realize when the game is starting and decide which stadium they want to attend. Technicalities and specific guidelines aside, the guiding principle and takeaway message for this and many other questions in dating should be to act with respect and integrity towards everyone you meet, constantly asking yourself what it is that Hashem (Gd) wants from you, and hopefully this will lead us all to become R’ Hirsch’s Jew “in the synagogue and the kitchen…as father and mother, as servant and master…with one’s thoughts, in word and in deed.”

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Rib Eye is Now Rib Eye By Aryeh Goldschein I know I’m supposed to continue the story of the escaping goats, but I must share what happened this past week. You may remember from the last article I wrote that I own (now owned) a bull named Rib Eye. The day he was born he couldn’t stand up to nurse, so he would have died unless I stepped in. I put him in the seat of my truck, took him home to Wurtsboro and bottle fed him in my kitchen all night. By the next day, he was standing and walking around. From that day on for the first few months, I would bottle feed him several times a day. If I had to go away, he came with me. He even spent Purim in Queens in my parents’ backyard. I was keeping him on my friend Paul’s farm for the last few months, with a few conditions; one was that when we shecht (slaughter), him my friend could get the back half of the meat (since he is not Jewish and that part is not Kosher) in return for taking care of him. I could not keep him on the dairy farm that I currently live on because the farmer did not want him breeding with his cows, and if we tried and keep him separate he could bust through the fence when the cows are in heat. After Shabbos I got a call from Paul saying that Rib Eye is dangerous and it’s

time for him to go. (Another thing we had agreed on was that when he starts causing damage and he is dangerous, then I will arrange for his shechita [slaughtering] right away.) After several calls, I arranged for a well-known shochet (slaughterer) to come up from the city on Wednesday to shecht Rib Eye. I also had a guy from down the road who traps and deals with skins on a regular basis come to gut and skin him, so that I could make the skin into an awesome blanket. After spreading the word, a few classes from the local yeshivas showed up with their rabbis to watch the event along with a few friends. In order to place Rib Eye in the right position, I had to distract him by giving him warm water to drink from a bucket with a nipple. Even though he was 10-months-old, he still loved to drink from a bottle. I won’t go into further detail, but the shechita was quite an experience. After the shechita, the shochet checked the lungs and declared Rib Eye better then glatt kosher. His lungs were chulak (perfectly smooth). I brought all the meat over to a kosher butcher. They did an incredible job and I now have 170 pounds of meat in my freezer. We just cooked some meat for supper Wednes-

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

day night and will have some first cut ribs for Shabbos. I am going to include some graphic pictures, but I don’t know what will make the final cut; I guess that’s up to my brother and the editors. [Note from the editorial staff: No. Just no.] I also asked for a vegan recipe to be placed next to my article to stir up some controversy. I guess we will see what happens. I almost forgot to finish the story with the goats. I figured the first thing they would do is go back home to an area they were familiar with. Goats are

actually incredibly smart (aside from eating my tzitzit when I wore them out one day while working–– never leave them out when working with animals). When we got back to the barn, all the goats were there eating fresh hay like nothing ever happened. Have a great Shabbos everyone, and look out for Rib Eye in your local grocery store and let him know I love him. This has been the process for thousands of years and is what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. I’m thinking of naming my next cow “Spare Ribs”.

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

YP SPOTLIGHT

Young Professionals Spotlight: Shoshannah Belzer By Batya Carl Shoshanah Belzer has been living in Washington, D.C. for eight years. She grew up in West Hartford, Connecticut, and majored in interior design at Drexel University in Philadelphia. She works for a commercial real estate firm. 1.) You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why? I’d be a swirled mix of royal purple and red, because I have the hardest time choosing just one color and I love that particular combination. 2.) What is the best advice you have given to someone? I think one of my favorites is to always let the people in your life who love you be there for you. Let them be your anchors that you keep you grounded and sane. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask for help, especially from the people closest to you, because you’re afraid of being a burden, but the whole point of having those close relationships is to have people you can go to whether things are good or bad. 3.) Describe yourself in 5 words or less. Creative, Artist, Independent, Snarky, Cat.

4.) In DC, you are notorious for throwing great, themed parties. Which is your favorite and why? Definitely “Have a Geeky New Year.” Obviously, it was geek themed, celebrating several geek fandoms including Disney, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Sherlock, Orphan Black (really just everything on

the BBC) and we just really went all out for it, and by “all out” I mean, I went just a tiny bit overboard, but it made my incredibly nerdy self very happy. 5.) What do you want to be when you grow up? A published author, an interior designer and an accomplished singer. 6.) What brings you the greatest joy? Creating. Any artistic form in which I’m creating something, be it through designing, writing, painting, drawing, etc., that’s what makes me happiest. 7.) If you were to get rid of one state in the U.S., which would it be and why? West Virginia. I just don’t see a purpose to West Virginia, nothing happens there. 8.) Fill in the blank: There’s no place like ____________. Rivendell. [Fictitious elven enclave from the “Lord of the Rings” book series by J.R.R. Tolkien] 9.) You wake up and find yourself in one of your favorite books. What does your life look like? I’ve been sorted into Gryffindor and I’m about to go to Madam Hooch’s flying class so that I can learn how to ride a broomstick.

The Dating Coach ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 68

Multiple Dating ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 68

If you worry about bumping into the guy or girl from last night on another date at Starbucks, don’t do it. If all your friends are doing it and you don’t like the idea of it, don’t do it. It must feel right for you. Here’s my alternative: I would like to propose an alternative to multiple dating. In the interest of saving time and meeting more than one girl or boy at a time, I’d like to introduce an option I call “multiple sifting.” In this process, you do a one hour “coffee date” with multiple people rather than invest your energy in multiple fulllength dates. The goal of multiple sifting is to figure out in the shortest amount of time with whom to invest in fulllength dates. No sitting through painful first dates for three hours when the possibility was nixed in three minutes, no risk of hurting anyone or destroying trust, no dating burnout. If your one-hour coffee date goes well, go out on a real first date. If not, you’ve saved hours, emotional wear and tear and probably a few bucks too. Here is the catch, after three dates with each person you’re “sifting,” you need to pick the one with the highest potential and date them properly. You can’t drag out multiple dating relationships for months. That is inappropriate, insensitive to the people you are dating and probably means you’re not ready to settle down with one partner yet. Furthermore, even multiple sifting is not for everybody. You should be asking yourself or a dating mentor the four questions we explored earlier before you begin multiple sifting to make sure you approach the process in a balanced and healthy way. In conclusion, know yourself and your dating style before you even contemplate double dating. Explore your age, proximity, dating maturity and personality type before making this decision. Never feel pressured or bullied into multiple dating by a friend or shadchan if it doesn’t feel right. Think about multiple sifting and if it is right for you. I say let the dates begin. May the best man/woman win!

yourself with more than one person, to determine if it will lead to “relationship dating” or not. I hate to put numbers on dates, because some people connect quickly and others, well, let’s just say they’re like onions, but it’s so worth it if you like them. However, the shift from “small talk” in the acquaintance phase to the deeper more meaningful connection tends to occur around the third date. The shift is the point when you are thinking to yourself, I have some kind of investment in this person. And therein lies the key - liking someone enough to merit your investment. It’s something that doesn’t always happen between two amazing people on paper. So usually, in dating more than one person at a time, only one person has potential to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, and often enough neither one is. So when is it wrong to date more than one person? Firstly, when you start to scramble whether you already told the same story to the person in front of you, or if you shared about your moms terrible cooking and your bad spending habits or if that was your other date? If you don’t know how long you’ve been dating each person, or even worse, you start to like them both. Secondly, for the “I wear my emotions on my sleeve” type, I would say, this is not for you as well. These people can only see the good and tend to fall into “investment” very quickly. This is your friend that came back starry eyed

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

10.) What are you known for? Probably for baking really good cakes and cupcakes. 11.) What would be your idea of a perfect day? Waking up and finding that I had control over time so that I could give myself more hours in the day! Then, spending said day in an artistic delirium of singing, dancing, writing and drawing, that would just go on forever because I have control over time. Yeah, that sounds about right. 12.) What is on your bucket list? Going to every Disney park that exists. Travelling the world. And finding a way to get away with having a pet tiger; I’ll name him Rajah, and he’ll be the coolest pet ever! 13.) What inspires you? Everything. Anything can become inspiration if your mind is open to it. 14.) You are stranded on a desert island. Who would you take with you? My immediate family and my best friends. Really, the people I can’t live without. Interested in connecting with this week’s featured young professional? Email Ypspotlight@kolhabirah.com.

It's polite to ask first so that you are on the same page

It's not all about NY - They can make the effort too...

after a first date, and thought this could be it after one date (not that this is bad, but bad if it happens all the time). If you are indecisive, this is a set up for disaster and if you are overly analytical, you will likely be spending all your free time comparing your likes and dislikes lists that you won’t be able to move forward. Lastly, if you walk into a restaurant with a date, and get “caught in the act” by running into last night’s date, well, that’s another article. But to the person that keeps things at the acquaintance level, until they decide to move forward to “relationship dating” in terms of connection, this is what can keep them from burning out too quickly and not missing opportunity when it comes knocking, or sometimes, appreciating the person they have in

front of them. There’s a lot of pressure in the shidduch-dating world. Saying “yes” to someone automatically means you are viewing each other as potential marriage partners. But sometimes, to find your marriage partner, we have to say “yes” to more than one at a time, and know when to say “no” to the wrong one at the right time. The Shadchan Next Door has extensive experience in dating and relationships. She prides herself in helping people make wise choices in the sometimes complex world of dating and is often an emergency phone call for couples when they are stuck or questioning their choice. She hopes her words and experience will connect to her readers and help them find Mr. and Mrs. Right all the sooner.

WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

Community Calendar, February-March 2017 February 2017 Sunday

Monday

Sh'vat 16

Sh'vat 17

Tuesday

Sh'vat 18

Wednesday

Sh'vat 19

Thursday

Sh'vat 20

Friday

Sh'vat 21

Saturday

Sh'vat 22

YISE Paint Nite 8pm

Sh'vat 23

Sh'vat 24

Midrash, Manicures, and Milkshakes at YISE 5:45-7:15 pm

Sh'vat 25

First Time Home Buyer Workshop 7pm at 1121 University Towers Party Room, Silver Spring

THE VAAD HARABANIM OF GREATER WASHINGTON IS HOSTING A GATHERING TO COMMEMORATE THE FIRST YAHRTZEIT OF RABBI HILLEL KLAVAN, ZT"L. Young Israel Shomrai Emunah @ 8pm

Sh'vat 26

CPAC

23 CPAC

BIKUR CHOLIM PANEL DISCUSSION "HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR DOCTOR APPOINTMENT" Young Israel Shomrai Emunah Beis Medrash @ 10:30am - 12pm

Sh'vat 30

Sh'vat 27

Adar 1

Adar 2

3 Adar

4 Adar

Sh'vat 29

CTeen Shabbaton NYC

CPAC

MELAVE MALKA PROGRAM --STRANGER THAN FICTION (ISRAELI TV SHOW SCREENING & CONVERSATION) KATMANDU IS AN ISRAELI TV SITUATION-COMEDY BASED ON THE LIVES OF A YOUNG CHABAD COUPLE WHO ARRIVE FOR SHLICHUT IN NEPAL JUST BEFORE PESACH. Kemp Mill Synagogue @ 8pm

5 Adar

6 Adar

13 Adar

KMS SYNAGOGUE WELCOMES ~EITAN KATZ~ COME AND ENJOY A SPIRITUALLY SHABBAT Fri Night Davening, Fri Night Oneg, (9:30 pm). Shabbat Morning Tefilah. Sat Night Community-wide

CTeen Shabbaton Returns

7 Adar

Sh'vat 28

March 2017

Torah School Auction 7pm

8 Adar

9 Adar

10 Adar

11 Adar

12 Adar

PURIM CARNIVAL Kemp Mill Synagogue @ 11:30am - 1:00pm

Want your event included? Please email your community event to communitycalendar@kolhabirah.com Events are subject to change, please visit host website before planning.

Have an event you would like included in our next calendar? Email it to editor@kolhabirah.com WWW.KOLHABIRAH.COM

February 16, 2017 • 20 Shevat, 5777

Hunter Douglas offers a wide variety of window fashions in an array of fabrics, textures and colors. Contact us today. We’re the Hunter Douglas experts, guiding you in the selections that’ll make your home even more beautiful––whatever your style. Ask us about: • Special savings on select Hunter Douglas operating systems • The Hunter Douglas Limited Lifetime Guarantee

Kol Habirah - February 2017

Articles inside

Rib Eye is Now Rib Eye Aryeh Goldschein

Young Professionals Spotlight: Shoshannah Belzer Batya Carl

This Wine Costs What? Joshua E. London

Deep Dish Fran Kritz

Israeli-Style Chocolate Orange Tart Shushy Turin

When Education and Athletics Converge: A Coach's Vantage Point Brett Kugler

Therapists are Human: The Experience of Guilt from a Therapist's Viewpoint Jonathan Lasson

Lessons from Yitro: Priorities Stephan and Meera Miller

Maintaining Balance and Equilibrium in Turbulent Times Simeon Pollock

A Clinical Psychologist's Tips for Creating Safe Schools Dahlia Topolosky

"Good Shabbos to You!" Deborah Scheinberg

Hashem's Hidden Gems Rabbi Sholom Hoffman

My Safta: How Her Faltering Memory Taught Me Lessons in Life Bari Perlmutter

Congregation Beth El Hosts Panel Discussion About Inclusive Employment Kol Habirah Staff

Fifth-Graders Can Win Free Trees for their School in Arbor Day Poster Contest Kol HaBirah Staff State Representatives Address Local Concerns at Maryland Jewish Advocacy Day Kol HaBirah Staff 1,15

Jewish Orgs: Philanthropy will not be enough without Medicaid and ADA Suzanne Pollak

Lieberman Family Brings Leading Modern Orthodox Think to Beth Sholom Sarah Antine

Friendship Circle Marathon in Miami Natasha Nadel

Maryland Students Travel to Las Vegas for Service Trip Ben Bryer

Beyond the Mitzvah: Open Up Your Circle of Friends Yael Zelinger