JEWISH INTEREST
November 2023
Federation Star
33
The swastika tattoo Aging Jewishly – What our traditions teach us about growing old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello enough but how could she tell Kyle that … slurs. Silence can send door and invited Kyle to join his best friend was no longer welcome in the message that derogatory the conversation, Kyle heard her home? How would Kyle react? Did he remarks … are acceptable.” Joe’s explanation. It was several know that Joe was obviously antisemitic? “Well,” Lillian said years ago when he turned 18 Would speaking up damage the special aloud. “A swastika tattoo that his buddies dared him relationship that she and Kyle shared? is a symbolic slur. If I say to get the tattoo. At first Joe Reluctant to turn to her friends for nothing, it’s like I’m saythought it was cool – “edgy,” he advice, Lillian engaged “Mr. Google.” ing that the swastika is said. “I didn’t really know what Whenever she wanted to know someOK.” Lillian clicked on it meant.” Joe looked at Lillian. thing, learn something or understand “compose” and wrote to “Now, I do.” Rabbi Barbara something, Lillian powered on the Kyle. “I’m looking forward Joe had been thinking about Aiello computer and asked “Mr. Google” her to having you and Joe join having the swastika removed question. On this particular sleepless me for lunch.” and had investigated tattoo removal procenight, Lillian asked for “Ideas to combat “No kugel?” Kyle sniffed and opened dures. “For a tattoo like this,” Joe said, “It antisemitism.” Kyle had called to say that the oven door. “What’s up?” will cost me about $800 to have it taken he was coming for lunch on Saturday and Lillian smiled and brought out three off. I want to do it but I can’t afford it.” bringing Joe as well. Lillian knew she deli-wrapped sandwiches. “I’m having Lillian smiled. “If you’re serious, I’ll needed to do something but what could computer problems. My iPad is on the help you. We can make a deal. I’ll advance one individual do? fritz. Kyle, could you the money if you pay me back by To her amazeyou work on it? Joe washing my car, painting my bathroom “Speak out against ment, Lillian found and I won’t disturb and helping me clean and organize my hundreds of sites, you. We’ll be out on storage bin!” antisemitic … slurs. most developed by the lanai.” When Joe said “Deal,” Lillian smiled. Silence can send the mesJewish organizations, And so it was When Joe hugged her, Lillian didn’t freeze including one that that Lillian took and when Joe said, “I’m sorry,” Lillian cried. sage that derogatory offered 90 suggesJoe’s hand, offered For 10 years, Rabbi Barbara Aiello remarks … are acceptable.” tions for respondhim a chair and served the Aviva Campus for Senior Life ing to antisemitism closed the sliding as resident rabbi. Her most popular col(WordstoAction – Empowering Students doors. Through the glass, Kyle could see umns are now published in her new book, to Address Antisemitism). In the section Joe as he pushed up his sleeve, uncover“Aging Jewishly,” available on Amazon titled “In Your Home and Personal Life,” ing the Nazi symbol. He could see his books. Rabbi Barbara now lives and works Lillian found several guidelines that grandma’s animated expressions as she in Italy, where she is rabbi of Italy’s first addressed her dilemma, among them spoke about her family’s experience in Reconstructionist synagogue. Contact her at item 7: “Speak out against antisemitic Nazi Germany. When Lillian opened the rabbi@rabbibarbara.com.
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"I
t’s always a good day when my grandson comes to visit!” Lillian thought to herself. Her smile said it all as she gave a quick wave to her friends. “I’ve got to rush. Kyle loves kugel so I’m making it for him and his friend, Joe.” Lillian got to work and just like clockwork, when the oven timer signaled the kugel was done, the doorbell chimed signaling that Kyle and Joe had arrived. Kyle let his nose lead the way to the kitchen. “Sure smells great, Grandma.” Joe nodded in agreement and asked to use the bathroom to wash up. Pushing up his sleeves, Joe made his way to the sink just as Lillian observed his forearm. She gasped. In bold black and red, Lillian saw the unmistakable drawing of a swastika. How could it be that Kyle, her grandson, the great grandson of Holocaust survivors, was friends with someone who displayed the hated Nazi symbol as a tattoo on his arm? For the first time since they’d been sharing Shabbat lunch together, Lillian was strangely quiet. When it came time to leave, Lillian stiffened when Joe offered her a hug. Kyle noticed and whispered, “Gram, is there something wrong?” Lillian lied. “It’s nothing really. Just a little indigestion, that’s all.” For the next several weeks, Lillian obsessed about Joe’s swastika tattoo. She didn’t know what to do. Joe seemed nice
