Shofar - January 2011 - Tevet/Shevat 5771

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Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

January 2011

From the Rabbi’s Desk Recently, there was a lengthy article in The Jewish Week backlash, I would say that it is deserved. about a group of Orthodox rabbis rejecting the notion that The irony is that this ruling was made public at the very death can be determined by studying and measuring the end of November, which had been designated as National Organ Donor Month, and all synagogues in New York were functions of the brain. Until some time in the 1980s, the standard for deter‐ asked to publicize this via an Organ Donor Shabbat. Be‐ mining death in the Orthodox world was respiration – cause we here had been distracted by other things when breathing. Then, the most prominent of Orthodox legal the mailing came in, we did not hold an Organ Donor Shab‐ bat. But we ordered some materials from the NY State thinkers accepted the idea that respiration can be main‐ tained by technological devices, even after the brain has Donor Registry, and we are now taking up the cause with ceased to function. When the devices are withdrawn, urgency. breathing stops and death can be pronounced. If the de‐ Did you know that there are 110,000 candidates in this vices are not put into use before the brain ceases to func‐ country awaiting organ transplants? Did you know that tion, death can be pronounced much earlier. there are 10,000 people awaiting organ transplants in New When a person is kept on life supports, so that technol‐ York State? Did you know that 18 people die every day ogy takes over the basic functions of the brain, the organs because of a shortage of donors? are kept alive and healthy. This makes them eligible for transplantation. That the brain has ceased to function Jewish law has always argued for the preservation of does not cause the organs to deteriorate, so that lives may the dignity of the deceased person. Orthodoxy goes even further, based on its belief in the physical resurrection of be saved through the transplanting of these organs. But the Orthodox rabbis who rejected “brain death” as a the dead, and says that the whole body must be buried, so standard for measuring life took themselves and their com‐ that it can be resurrected when the Messiah comes. munities backward to the previous thinking, that respira‐ Against this stands the equally important Jewish empha‐ tion is what indicates that a person is still alive. This flatly sis on saving lives. Based on that alone, many important ignores what medical science has been able to give us in decisors of Jewish law have accepted the idea that a per‐ the last 30 years. And it rules out the possibility of Ortho‐ son’s organs can be used to save the life of another, after dox Jews donating their organs to save other lives. they are of no more use to the original owner. Since the These same rabbis ruled that it is, nonetheless, permis‐ imperative of saving lives overrides even Sabbath obser‐ sible for those same Orthodox Jews to receive organs do‐ vance, it has been accepted that it overrides the need to nated by someone (presumably not Jewish, or at least not bury a body intact. And of course, we are a liberal congregation, not bound Orthodox) who was declared brain‐dead, and whose or‐ gans were preserved from deterioration by artificial respi‐ by the rulings of Orthodox rabbis in any case. ration. This drew sharp criticism from many who argued So I ask you to take up this cause, and to do the follow‐ that this is hypocritical, and an embarrassment to all Jews. ing: (Continued on page 13) “We won’t give but we will take.” If that generated some From the Rabbi’s Desk Service Schedule President’s Message JFC Adults JiFTY Just For Kids The Religious School Early Childhood Center ECC pictures

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Religious School pictures Kids Ask the Rabbi Donations to JFC Social Action Committee Yahrzeit/Annivs/Birthdays Talent Show pictures Ask the Rabbi Donations Form Calendar

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

SERVICE SCHEDULE

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069 e-mail: jfc@bestweb.net

JANUARY Friday, Jan 7/Sh’vat 3

Saturday, Jan 8

jewishfamilycongregation.org

Rabbi Carla Freedman jfc@bestweb.net Cantor Kerry Ben-David cantorbd@aol.com

School Director Leslie Gottlieb lesliejo0312@gmail.com Early Childhood Center Director Fern Tannenbaum jfceccenter@gmail.com Temple Administrator Jolie Levy jfcoffc@gmail.com

January 2011

Friday, Jan 14/Sh’vat 10

7:30 pm Parshat Bo Laurence Furic chants Torah 4th Grade Service Shabbat morning service 10:00 am

7:30 pm

Shabbat Shira

Ruth Ossher chants Torah Our annual Mi Khamokha‐thon

Friday, Jan 21/ Sh’vat 17

6:00 pm

Saturday, Jan 22

7:30 pm Parshat Yitro Hannah Kriftcher chants Torah 10:00 am Bar Mitzvah of Scott Dorf

Friday, Jan 28/ Sh’vat 24 6:30 pm

Saturday, Jan 29

Shabbat for Me***

Rock Shabbat led by JiFTY

7:30 pm 10:00 am

Parshat Mishpatim Shabbat morning service

*** for pre‐schoolers and their families…by pre‐registration only. This service will be followed by a pizza dinner. Please call the JFC office or sign up on the form posted at JFC.

Board Of Trustees Richard Mishkin, Co-President 914-764-8305; Jeanette Sanders, Co-President 914-763-0311; Mark Lavin, Vice President; Polly Schnell, Vice President; Bill Pink, Secretary; Andrew Serby, Treasurer; Carrie Kane David Marceau Beth Tessler Debra Verbeke Elisa Zuckerberg and Johanna Perlman, Past President

CHOIR

Shofar Editor Jolie Levy

If you would like to join the choir, or for more information, please contact Kathy Storfer at kstorfer@aol.com We welcome all adults ‐‐ 13 or older!


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The President’s Message I went to a Holiday Open House gathering of con‐

gregants in the church where my wife works as a choir director and was impressed with how many older people were there. This caused me to think of how different our membership was at JFC where the over‐ whelming majority is families with young children in Hebrew school and preparing for b’nai mitzvah. Instead of applauding these families for the sacri‐ fices they make in time and money to give their chil‐ dren a religious education and instilling Jewish values through education, my thought was to admonish the choices some people make when they feel their obli‐ gation has been satisfied and choose to move on and away from Temple after b’nai mitzvah classes. However, if we do our job in educating our congre‐ gation’s children, they will eventually find their way back; instilling Jewish values through education has kept us around for thousands of years. If they come back to JFC (and some do – there is a young woman who I see regularly at services who was in my 32 year old son’s class at JFC), that’s an added bonus. As long as we have given them the ability to make the choice, we’re good. A recent article in the NYT addresses the value of adult education in Judaism. David Brooks writes an Op Ed piece in the Times http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/21/opinion/ 21brooks.html about a meeting with Erica Brown who leads “ Torah study groups and teaches adult educa‐ tion classes in Jewish thought, and was somehow in‐

by Richard Mishkin

spiring Justin Bieber‐like enthusiasm”. Brooks at‐ tempt to understand Brown’s approach, piqued my interest.. According to Brooks, “Brown has what many peo‐ ple are looking for these days. In the first place, she has conviction. For her, Judaism isn’t a punch line or a source of neuroticism; it’s a path to self‐confident and superior living”... but “many people…when they go in search of answers…generally find people who offer them comfort and ways to ease their anxiety”. Brown tries to do the opposite. Jewish learning, she says, is‐ n’t about achieving tranquility. It’s about the struggle. “I try to make people uncomfortable.” Brooks said “she pushes the highly successful. No, serving the poor for a few days a year isn’t enough. Yes, it is nec‐ essary to expose a friend’s adultery because his mar‐ riage is more important than your friendship.” Brown reminds us that Judaism has much to offer us in our daily lives. JFC graduates; parents and kids, are given the fundamental knowledge they need to be an engaged member of the community. They are ready, if and when they choose to participate, to fur‐ ther their Jewish education. This can come in the form of a Torah Study class at the 92nd street Y or in our Garden Room at JFC. According to Erica Brown, this rentry may not be easy, she describes it as ardu‐ ous, but in my experience it is rewarding.

ShopWithScrip! And help support JFC at no cost to you while shopping at the stores you already visit!

If you have not yet created an account with ShopWithScrip, please contact the JFC Office and we’ll get you started! It’s easy! It’s free! And there are many exciting offers!

JFC WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS

DAVID and MARINA FRIED of South Salem, NY

and their daughters, LAUREN and SYDNEY Have you checked out the JFC Blog recently? Go to www.jfc.rjblogs.org


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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

JFC b Adults

January 2011

By Jeanne Shanin, Adult Program Coordinator

This year the Winter/Spring, coincidentally, our monthly programs begin with Passover and end with Pass‐ over, with more to do inbetween. Mark your calendar now! If you haven’t been to one of our events, you’ll find that they are warm, fun and rewarding. Saturday, January 29, 7:30‐10:30 p.m. JFC’S 6th Annual Comedy Night Please join us for a night of fun and laughs. JFC’s Comedy Night is not to be missed. We will feature Joe DeVito and Sandy Marks, right off the NY stages. Tickets include drinks, dinner and the show. There will also be raffles to win a Kindle or Nook. See the flier on the opposite page! Saturday, February 12, 7:30 p.m. Second Annual Game Night Last year everyone had such a good time that we’re going to do it again. Delicious hot soup, fun games, and good company (ask the rabbi about Banana‐ gram).

Saturday, March 19, 8 p.m. Movie Night I search out the unknown, the forgotten and the overlooked to find the perfect film for us to watch. This one will be on the light side! Sunday, April 10 “300 Ways to Enhance Your Seder: Make it Unfor‐ gettable” Murray Spiegel and Rickey Stein (authors, "300 Ways to Ask the Four Questions") will give a multimedia presentation that provides new views of old tradi‐ tions based on their book, a compilation that infuses Seders with added meaning and joy. Featured on PBS, the stories from their highly acclaimed book are fasci‐ nating and entertaining. You’ll leave with fresh ideas to create an unforgettable Seder. (All parents wel‐ come!)

SHABBAT SHIRA…THE SABBATH OF SONG Shabbat Shira is the Sabbath on which the Torah portion includes Exodus 15. It is from that location that we take Mi Khamokha, sung at every evening and morning service. For many years now, it has been our Shabbat Shira practice at JFC to sing Mi Khamokha to as many melodies as we can… starting with the ones we use during services, and some much more elaborate settings that our choir presents, and then branching off into Broadway melodies, TV theme songs, and all sorts of others. In addition, Ruth Ossher will chant The Song at the Sea (which contains Mi Khamokha) to its unique Torah melody. This year, we will celebrate Shabbat Shira on January 14, at 7:30 pm. We can promise you that the music will be terrific, and the spirit of the congregation will be lifted. Please join us for our annual Mi Khamokha-thon, and come prepared to suggest melodies!


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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

JiFTY celebrated Chanukah with latkes, dreidel, and lots of fun activities!

January 2011

JiFTY

By Zia Waldman

Next is a bake sale! On Sunday, January 9th, after religious school JiFTY will be holding a bake sale, and proceeds and/or donations will go to an organization chosen by JiFTY!

Our next meeting will be January 13th from 7:15-8:15! We are so excited for upcoming events!


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Jewish Family Congregation Early Childhood Center Where Family is our middle name

WE ARE CURRENTLY REGISTERING FOR 2011-12! Please visit our website at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org OR call Fern Tannenbaum at (914) 763-3028 ext. 15

-- Save the Date --

MARCH 20 ANNUAL JFC PURIM CARNIVAL 12:00-2:00 p.m.

Just For Kids What is the capital of Israel?

by JFC Kids

See page 27 for answer!


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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011

The Religious School by Leslie Gottlieb

Last month I had the pleasure of hearing a lecture given by Michael Thompson, Ph. D., noted child psychologist and bestselling author of Raising Cain, Best Friends, Worst Ene‐ mies, and five other books including his newest entitled The Pressured Child. He is working on a new book, Home‐ sick and Happy, which sounds like a real winner. I pur‐ chased The Pressured Child for the Religious School and regret not being able to quote from it today; there was a JFC Religious School mom in the audience and I invited her to borrow the school copy on the spot. I look forward to her responses and welcome all of you to borrow this book and our school library’s many other books on parenting, as well. Dr. Thompson’s talk was held at the Rippowam Cisqua school in Mount Kisco as part of this year’s Foundations of Education series. I applaud them for this initiative. As a former Ripp parent (for two years, anyway), I found it fas‐ cinating to be in that very gym at this stage of my life‐‐‐ looking back to when my son was a fourth grader there‐‐‐ and I was a much younger parent. That alone made it worthwhile although the impression was softened some‐ what as I was there just a few weeks ago listening to Dr. Joel Haber’s lecture on bullying. As a mother of boys (and a girl) I never thought that I would have so many feelings on the subjects of bullying and over‐pressured children— but as an educator you can’t run too far from yourself… and these thoughts and ideas follow you from work to home as a teacher/parent. It is great to hear experts talk about things so critical to healthy child development ‐‐‐ even though our youngest is almost eighteen. As the di‐ rector of education for JFC, all of this input helps me to better serve your children. As director, I need to feel con‐ nected to each student‐‐ the whole child—not just the part of the child I see for two or three hours a week. I need to feel his/her essence as a whole person to do my job correctly. I work on this aspect of my job constantly

Don’t forget to stop in and check out the JFC Gift Shop! The items change frequently! If you are interested in purchasing anything, please let us know in the JFC Office.

because I see the school as a body of individuals—not whole classes made up of a group of kids. Here are some of the essential principles Thompson discussed: Kids take in concretely what their parents say. This can create fear in children. If you talk about how few students make it into the honors section of a given subject then you are employing what he refers to as the scarcity model— making them feel there are too few spots available for them to succeed. With some “3, 564 colleges and univer‐ sities in the US”, sometimes our kids think there are only a handful of places parents will find suitable enough for their special children—starting with the Ivies and ending shortly after that list expires. One parent at the lecture commented that having worked on a recent study for the Bedford Central School District, she learned that only 55% of parents in this district have college degrees. He joked how it is that others in our town could possibly leave the house without a college degree. He made his point through the back door. Other parents, without realizing it, pursue a business model when talking about their children’s education. If you use a business or marketing strategy to increase your child’s chances of getting into Princeton, let’s say, then you are setting yourself and your child up for failure. When do your ideas and dreams become a burden that lead to the wrong path for your children? Next, he asked, why we think we are in charge of our kids with respect to their strengths and achievements as opposed to good old child development as the lead horse. Children as young as fourth graders have fixed traits in terms of their abilities and how they are labeled by others because of those strengths and weaknesses according to the speaker. “They are not fluid at this early stage.” By grade six, Thompson states, that kids’ stations are already set according to studies. A “B” student usually stays a “B” student for most of his/her schooling. Not always the case, we know, but it is interesting to think about. Pushing them and scheduling hours of tutoring may never really change their station. Why is this something we fight against so hard? What are our real goals? But Thompson stresses that school is not a preparation for life; it is life. “School is not a race, it is not a competi‐ tion, and it is not a contest. It is not about prizes at graduation. It is not about a report card. School is not a level playing field.” Kids don’t think about the future too much, according to Thompson. They think about that day, that test, that homework assignment. It is important for (Continued on page 20)


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January 2011

Early Childhood Center By Fern Tannenbaum

Being a parent today is not easy. Just ask anyone who is raising a child and they will lament about the expectations placed on parents by their family, community and even the media. Every parent wants their child to be successful, yet identifying what success really means is not the same for each different family. In addition, even if parents had a written plan for their child from the moment of birth, how would they know how to implement them? The good news is that here at the ECC we offer a variety of support so that every parent can feel confident in their parenting skills. Our teachers are always there for the parents. Collec‐ tively our staff has a wealth of experience in teaching chil‐ dren who have a broad range of temperaments and devel‐ opmental needs. Our teachers offer kind advice based on years of teaching and their knowledge of early childhood development. Sometimes, however, parents have special concerns that relate to particular personal or family issues affecting their child. As a recipient of a grant from the Westchester Jewish Family Services called SEED (Supporting Early Emotional Development), the ECC re‐ ceives the services of Ellen Weisberg, a licensed social worker and educator. Parents are able to meet with her individually to discuss their child’s needs or development. Additionally, parents often benefit from discussing parent‐ ing issues as part of a group. Therefore, Ellen Weisberg offers parent discussions a few times a year whether it is about how to say “no” to their child consistently or how to help solve the sticky issues that arise from sibling rivalry. Finally, the ECC is extremely fortunate to have been gener‐ ously gifted with the services of Alexis Johnson, PhD. As a congregant of JFC, Alexis Johnson, a world renowned psy‐ chologist and expert on child development, has offered her services to run a series of workshops called Wise Par‐ enting for the Pre‐Schooler. This will be the second year she has offered this program and there will be brand new topics to help parents explore the difficulties of raising children. The workshops will meet the Tuesday evenings of

January 11th, February 11th and March 15th. Please see the announcement in this newsletter for more information and to sign up. Last month the ECC had a spectacular “Shabbat and Chanukah for Me” celebration. The service was a magical literary and musical experience due to the story telling and singing of Kathy Storfer and her amazing instrumental backup from Paul Storfer and David Kane. To add to the festivities, Gillian Margolin and Rachel Clott helped pre‐ pare enough latkes and apple sauce to feed a huge crowd of hungry preschoolers and their parents. Our third pro‐ gram will take place this month. We invite everyone to come to the next “Shabbat for Me” on January 21st, which coincides with the holiday of Tu B’Shevat or the New Year of the Trees. Although our trees are now bare in South Salem, in Israel they are starting to bud. As we sing our Shabbat songs and celebrate the trees’ birthday, perhaps our JFC trees will be inspired to awaken a little earlier this year. The “Shabbat for Me” children’s service is for families with children under seven years of age. If you have a young child please join us. If you know of any families with young children please encourage them to come. The “Shabbat for Me” service is not only a lot of fun but there is a pizza dinner too. For Tu B’Shevat the children at the ECC will be learning about the wonderful things that trees give us, and espe‐ cially about our role in caring for the trees. This is perhaps the children’s first lesson about nurturing growing things. However, their best lessons on how to be great caregivers come from their parents. The children get to watch their parents hard at work raising them everyday. Our ECC par‐ ents guide, support and discipline their children with love. Though, just as the children aren’t too sure how much wa‐ ter to give their plants to help them grow, sometimes our parents need to know how firm or gentle they should be to help their children grow and reach their potential. The ECC is pleased to be able to offer the means to help our par‐ ents make the right decisions through the workshops and consultation services we offer. Our parents are devoted to raising their children well and we are proud to be a sup‐ port to the parents and a part of their children’s ultimate success.


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Don’t miss the Youth Group’s next ROCK SHABBAT

Friday, Jan. 28, 6:30-7 p.m.

This service counts for 2 STARS credits for Grade K-6 students!!

From the Rabbi’s Desk (cont’d) (Continued from page 1)

Fill out the back of your driver’s licence, so that your intent to donate organs is clear (you need two witnesses’ sig‐ natures along with your own). Next, enrol in the New York State Donor Registry (www.donatelifeny.org). And put your intentions in writing in a living will or health proxy declaration. Then make sure that your family is aware of your intentions. This is an important mitzvah, and one that should be some comfort to family when a loved one dies. I ask you to do your part, and to share your doing so with others, family, friends, co‐workers. We have bracelets and lapel pins which promote organ donation. These will be available in the business office, for the taking. Please consider wearing one to publicize this campaign. I have done all this, and though I expect that my actions will have no meaning for many years, I am proud to make this commitment, and hopeful that my physical being can be of service to others whom I do not even know. Please join me in this cause.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

The Early Childhood Center

January 2011


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

The Religious School

Hand-Made Chanukah Wrapping Paper

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January 2011

Kids Ask the Rabbi Question: We have some cousins coming to

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL READERS

Ruth Ossher is DANGEROUSLY ALLERGIC to many flowers. Accordingly, we CANNOT have the fol‐ lowing flowers in the building at any time: Lillies Tropical flowers Jasmine scent Any highly scented flowers Artificial flowers that have been sprayed

Ruth is NOT allergic to: Tulips Daffodils Hydrangeas Mums Sunflowers Potted flowers that we plant outdoors

If you are using a florist, PLEASE have them call us even if they are sure. Dangerous mistakes have already been made.

Many thanks for your cooperation!

visit, and they are “kosher”. What can we serve them in our house (we are not “kosher” at all)? Answer: A lot depends on how they follow the Jewish dietary laws. Some people who keep kosher will not eat anything in a house that does not also abide by their rules. Others will eat things that are not cooked, like fruits and vegetables. Some will use your utensils (forks, knives, spoons) and plates, while others will not. And some will arrive with a picnic basket of the things they will eat, and the plates, utensils, etc that they will need. So the safest thing to do is, of course, ask them what you can provide for them. Ask them whether they would eat from a platter of fresh fruit. Ask them whether they would eat crackers or cookies with a “kosher” symbol on the packages (if they would do this, ask which brands they approve of); if they say yes, get the packages but don’t open them before the guests arrive. Show them the sealed package, and put the cookies on a paper plate right in front of them. Ask whether they will drink coffee or tea, or soft drinks, and again, ask which brands they would accept. You can offer to use only paper plates, plastic utensils and cups that are still in their sealed wrappers when your guests arrive; this will clearly indicate that they have not been used before. The main thing is to do everything you can to make them comfortable, as presumably you would with any guests. And you need to understand that if they decline to eat from your dishes, utensils or even from what has been in your refrigerator, they are following their particular kind of Jewish life, and though it may make things awkward, they are entitled to do whatever they feel they need to do. Your family’s obligation is to be as hospitable as you can. You are not required to compromise your beliefs or practices. But if you have agreed to host these cousins, and they have agreed to visit, you will have to find a way to meet both families’ needs.


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January 2011

Donations to JFC Last Month BRNO Fund Mary Salpeter and Allyn Salpeter Martin Weisberg Confirmation Class (Sam Blum, Sam Ceisler, Jacob Furic, Sean Kaplan, Matthew Tessler)

In Memory of members of the Salpeter family who perished in the Holocaust In Honor of Rabbi Carla's 13 year anniversary In Honor of Rabbi Carla Freedman on the occasion of Chanukah 5771

Early Childhood Center Fund Jolie Levy Myron and Fern Tannenbaum

In Memory of Melvin Waxman In Memory of Melvin Waxman

In Memory of David Emmer In Memory of David Emmer In Memory of David Emmer In Memory of David Emmer In Memory of David Emmer In Memory of Melvin Waxman In Memory of David Hoffman

General Fund Ethel Greenblatt Jan Weiss and Gayle Hudson Tom Beck Landscaping Inc Dr. Martin and Hanky Kutscher Marjorie Schiff and Jack Wilson Jane Emmer Jane Emmer

JFC-URJ Camp Fund Religious School 2nd Grade Class Jolie Levy Jane Emmer

In Honor of Leslie Gottlieb on the occasion of Chanukah 5771 In Memory of David Emmer In Honor of Becca Cohlan’s Engagement

In Memory of Morton Greenwald on the occasion of Scott's Bar Mitzvah In Memory of Israel Farber on the occasion of Scott's Bar Mitzvah In Honor of Michael and Rona Salpeter on the occasion of Their 25th Wedding Anniversary In Memory of David Emmer

Prayer Book Samantha and Bryan Dorf Samantha and Bryan Dorf Mary Salpeter and Allyn Salpeter Martin Weisberg

Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund Robert and Carol Weil Samantha and Bryan Dorf Jerome Kerner Mitchell and Jodi Waxman Leonard and Ellen Chess Suzanne Sunday

In Memory of David Emmer In Honor of Rabbi Carla Freedman on the occasion of Scott's Bar Mitzvah In Memory of Lillian Kerner In Memory of Melvin Waxman In Honor of the Litchman girls’ talent show performance In Memory of Ruth Davis

Religious School Discretionary Fund Samantha and Bryan Dorf

In Honor of Ruth Ossher on the occasion of Scott's Bar Mitzvah

In Honor of Scott Dorf on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah

Simcha Tree Leaf Samantha and Bryan Dorf

IF ANY DONATIONS MADE LAST MONTH ARE NOT LISTED, KINDLY CONTACT THE JFC OFFICE AND LET US KNOW.

THANK YOU

to all those who sent in their capital campaign contributions. If you have not already done so, please mail yours immediately.


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JFC Social Action Committee

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by Jeanette Sanders

The social action committee NEEDS you !!!

Our committee works very hard to bring opportunities to the congregation for participation in service activities and to perform mitzvot in various ways throughout the year. We can't continue to be involved in these social pro‐ grams without members who are willing to commit some time to attend an occasional planning meeting and take part in the behind the scenes preparations. If the work we do interests you and is meaningful to you or your family please take an active role. We are missing many meaning‐ ful events because we don't have committed resources who want to be involved. The committee is planning a midnight run for Saturday, March 5th. We are also planning to participate in The Bronx Jewish Community Council's Project Hope program just before Passover. The Chanukah Project Hope was at‐ tended by JFC social action member and it proved to be a

uniquely rewarding experience. Our member volunteer delivered holiday grocery bags to and visited with some disadvantaged seniors in the Bronx on November 21st and the BJCC'S organizers were happy for the additional man‐ power to distribute the donated goods and visit the needy and infirmed. We are hoping to bring a contingent from JFC to the next distribution event for project HOPE which will occur on April 10th. Please let us know if this mitzvah is of interest to you! We are planning a meeting in mid‐January to organize the remainder of the year's activities and we want you to come and express your interests and help plan. Please email or call us to let us know if we should in‐ clude your name in the meeting invitation. We look for‐ ward to working with you.

Project Hope Coordinators hand out the grocery donation bags to distribution volunteers.

The Tzedakah of the Month For JANUARY is Contact Debbie Lavin

“Jewish National Fund’s (JNF) Operation Carmel Renewal”

or Jeanette Sanders

Selected by the

(debbielav@aol.com) (crotonjan@aol.com)

JFC Social Action Committee


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January 2011

The Religious School (cont’d) (Continued from page 8)

dren back to the garden—back to a time when they could ride their bikes for hours and come in for dinner only after being called to over and again. It is important for kids to play without coaches‐‐ or with parents always running the show‐‐ all of the time. Some unsupervised play is how chil‐ dren develop into healthy adults. They need to experi‐ ment with friends, the outdoors, and life. They need to learn without always being told what the answers are. They need more freedom. I know that our teachers at JFC often give short home‐ work assignments of ten to fifteen minutes per week. When a parent calls me to say this is interfering with the well‐being of his/her child‐‐ it is a no‐brainer for me. It is important for our kids to spend a few minutes each week reconnecting with the material we try to cover, but never at the expense of an already stressed‐out young person. Our job is to make learning about being Jewish fun and memorable so that one day our students will encourage their own children, far off in the future, to attend religious school or be involved somehow with Judaism. Otherwise, we have failed. Please let me know if you would like more information on this speaker or if you would like to read his book next. I will put you in the queue! Until then, happy (other) New Year. Stay warm and dry.

us as parents not to put added anxiety out there for them. Kids gravitate toward their strengths and we need to give them the space required to make these abilities known to them—and it doesn’t always mean putting on a uniform and traveling across the county in order to learn that he/ she can kick a ball really far. What about kicking a ball around the yard after helping Mom & Dad rake the leaves? No time for a family museum trip or time for a hike because Mom & Dad are busy running three kids around the world for organized sports? Think in terms of limiting some of these activities enabling everyone in the family to stay sane! Take a breath and slow down. Eat dinner together as a family. I am amazed at some of the tight schedules our Bnai Mitzvah kids take on… whether it’s running out the door at 6:15 on a Monday night after class‐‐ even in winter‐‐ to play a sport… or dressing in ad‐ vance of Religious School on Sundays to get to the field on time—never mind missing Jewish culture or Hebrew. This can all be very stressful for kids & outweigh the advan‐ tages parents had in mind when they first enrolled their kids in these programs. Add in the birthday parties, the music lessons, and doctor appointments‐‐‐ and Grandma can forget visits from her grandchildren all together! In the end, he says there are three very critical things to consider with respect to letting parents know that their kids are on track and experiencing a healthy childhood as it relates to school: kids need to feel a connection (to the school, their peers &/or the adults who supervise them), they need to get recognition (in some way for some thing) and they need to feel a growing sense of mastery (over from the Religious School to… one or more subjects or areas schools focus on). That is it in a nutshell for this expert. It does make a lot of sense. If b Fern Tannenbaum, the Serbys, Grade 5 your child is happy and falls into place using this rubric, parents and Robyn Cohen, the Andrade then parents should feel content. If, of course, your child family, the Bloch family and the Youth is not connecting, not being recognized and/or not feeling Group… for the lovely Chanukah gifts!!! a sense of growth/mastery, then it is time you considered doing something about his/her learning environment. b Also, thanks go out to the Grade 2 fami Last night when Renna was up past ten doing school‐ lies who contributed to the JFC-URJ Camp work (she is a senior in high school and a staff member at Fund on my behalf at Chanukah and the JFC so many of you know her) I wanted to yank her away Grades K & 3 families who contributed to from all of the homework and coax her to come out to the Emmer College Scholarship Fund on play—as a matter of speaking. I felt sort of sinister prying my behalf during Chanukah! her away from her books although she couldn’t be budged. We certainly never got this much work in school when we were younger. I say this as a former high school b Thanks to all of the parents who donated food/drinks for our Chanukah parties last teacher, too. I never gave my students this much work to month. do after they were spending six‐plus hours in school never mind the travel time to and fro. It is time we took our chil‐

Todah Rabbah


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

- - - Lots of new vendors! - - Check website for details.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011

Taglit‐Birthright Israel is one of the many programs offered through the URJ.

To learn more about the URJ Youth and College Programs, visit www.urjyouth.org/request.


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Religious School Tzedakah Program… …Making It All Possible The JFC Religious School students in Grades 2 & 3 visited with author Michael Greene, who taught them about Birthright Israel and why it is so important to support this organization. Greene generously donated signed copies of his book “Tzedakah and the Precious Pushke” to the group. The Religious School Fund is proud to support Birthright Israel!

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date. JFC can only list names/dates that have been reported to us.

ANNIVERSARIES

BIRTHDAYS Sandi Auerbach Samuel Auerbacher Max Auerbacher Juliette Bellinson Marcela Berland Cecelia Bersch Andrew Blum Michelle Blum Juliette Bujaj Lauren Canno Robyn Cohen Gregory Friedlander Jonathan Glass Allan Goldstein Brooke Goldstein Jack Haims Gregory Hoffman Kristopher Kahn Lisa Katz Glenn Kurlander Kenneth Kurzweil

Allan & Alice Gottlieb Ian & Sigal Leitner

YAHRZEITS Nathan Bell Robert Belsky Jeannette Cohen Stephen Crown Ruth Davis Joseph Elias Israel Farber Helene Fuchs Julius Fuchs Theodore Garfiel Zelda Jacobs

Helene Kutscher Marcy Lissau Daniels Joseph Rosenhouse Bernard Shuler Betty Shulman Gerda Simon Julius Simon Zachary Adam Smith Louis Steinhorn Arnold Treitman Helen Worster

Eric Kutscher Dr. Martin Kutscher Patricia Lerner Stephen Margolis Isabella Marinucci Richard Mishkin Debra Monaco Alexander Monaco Michael Mucciolo Abby Plotka-Henshaw Tamar Rackear-Sturm Emily Rauch Joshua Rauch Sandra Rosenhouse Dr. Michael Salpeter Rona Salpeter Justin Sobel Suzanne Sunday Riannah Wallach Lisa Warren Clayton Weisberg

JFC CLASSIFIED Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life? Call the JFC Office for details.

ALL ADS ARE A FLAT $18 AND MAY NOT EXCEED 50 WORDS. THEY WILL RUN FOR ONE MONTH ONLY.

To place an ad, submit the text and your payment to the JFC Office. You may email the text to jfcoffc@gmail.com and either drop off or mail your check (payable to JFC). Credit card payments are also accepted.


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Three cheers to all those who participated in the Religious School Talent Show!

It was a REALLY BIG hit! Don’t miss the next one!


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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011

ASK THE RABBI Question: I remember being told that if a Jew com‐ clearly disordered in thinking and feeling. And when mits suicide, s/he cannot be buried in a Jewish ceme‐ those disordered thoughts and feelings lead to sui‐ cide, it is clearly true that the person is not function‐ tery. Is that true? ing normally. In other words, even long ago, our rab‐ Answer: Yes…and no (a real Jewish answer!). bis understood suicide as a manifestation of mental First the “yes” part: Judaism holds that every human illness. being is made in the image of God, and that each life is sacred and valuable. Therefore, we are not permit‐ Just as they would allow proper Jewish burial for ted to take a life…even our own. And someone who someone who suffered a physical illness, they ruled violates that principle should be denied full Jewish that a person with a mental illness should be ac‐ burial rites. corded the same rites. Now, the “no” part: Long ago, our sages understood This has the additional benefit of not adding to the that when a person takes his or her own life, that per‐ suffering of the surviving family members. son is not behaving normally. Most of the time, we Judaism is a religion widely perceived to be all about understand that life is a great gift, and we treasure it. rules and regulations. But this example indicates that our leading thinkers have usually tried to temper When a person is so despairing that s/he does not experience the joy and beauty of life, that person is those rules with compassion and generosity.

Please Support Our Advertisers

Have you checked out our Gift Shop lately? Stop in and take a look! The items change frequently! If you are interested in purchasing anything, please let the JFC Office know.


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Page 27

MS E IT LE. N IO ILAB FC . T UC AVA E J TED A SE ILL LL THRES E TH E ST CA NTE AR EASE IF I PL FICE OF

Still haven’t checked out our awesome shopping card program? It’s so EASY! Tons of vendors you already love! And, of course, you’re helping JFC. Go to www.shopwithscrip.com and call the JFC Office for details!

Answer to Just For Kids The letter “I.”

Submitted by Jake Hellinger, 1st Grade Class

If you have something funny you’ d like to share, please send an email to jfcoffc@gmail.com OR leave a note in the JFC Office.


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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

First-Year Dues Are FREE!

FREE!

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

January 2011


Tevet/Shevat 5771

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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January 2011 Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

1

WINTER BREAK NO RELIGIOUS SCHOOL

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

ECC

ECC

ECC

ECC

Gr. 7 9‐10:45

K‐3/CC/SMP

WINTER Gr. 7 BREAK NO RELIGIOUS SCHOOL

9

Gr. 4‐6

Creation Station

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

11

12

13

14

15

ECC

ECC

ECC

K‐3/CC/SMP YG

ECC

NO Gr. 7

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

Creation Station

17

18

19

NO Gr. 7

ECC

ECC

MLK, JR. DAY

OFFICE CLOSED

23

Gr. 4‐6

Kids Knesset 10:10

20

21

22

ECC

Gr. 7 9‐9:45 NFTY Winter Kallah

K‐3/CC/SMP Tu B’Shvat RS Comm Mtg Classroom 12:15 Activities Creation Station

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

“Shabbat for Me” 6:00

NFTY Winter Kallah‐Eisner

Bar Mitzvah Of Scott Dorf

24

25

26

27

28

29

ECC

ECC

Gr. 7 9‐10:45

K‐3/CC/SMP YG

ECC

ECC

Gr. 7

10‐PK 6‐7:30

NFTY Winter Kallah

Creation Station

30

Bd Mtg

NO Gr. 4‐6

Gr. 4 Service

10 Gr. 7

16

31

YG Rock Shab‐ 6th Annual Comedy Kids Knesset bat 6:30‐7:00 Night 5:10

Service 7:30 Tot Shabbat

7:30-10:30

Gr. 4‐6 ECC Bring A Parent Gr. 7 to RS 9:00‐12:00

JEWISH FAMILY CONGREGATION


Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Rd/Rte. 123 P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022


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