November 2015 - Cheshvan/Kislev 5776

Shofar Cheshvan/ Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

November 2015

November Service Schedule

Shabbat Chaye Sarah, Genesis 23:1—25:18 November 6

6:00 pm

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield

November 7

10:30 am

Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Justin Lipper in South Salem

Grade 7 makes sandwiches for the Dorothy Day House

Simchat Toldot, Genesis 25:19—28:9 November 13

November 14

5:30 pm

2.0 Tot Shabbat Service in Ridgefield

7:30 pm

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield

10:30 am

Shabbat Service including Bat Mitzvah of Allison Glass

Shabbat Vayetze, Genesis 28:10—32:3 November 20

7:30 pm

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield with Grade 6

November 21

10:30 am

Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Luca Segalla in Ridgefield

Leslie and Gabe meet in the Religious School office.

Shabbat Vayishlach, Genesis 32:4—36:43 November 27

Early Childhood Center students hanging out.

From the Rabbi’s Desk President’s Message Religious School Early Childhood Center Ritual Committee

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2 3 4 5 6

Cantor’s Corner Social Action Yahrzeit/Birthday/Anniversary Donations

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7 8 10 13

7:30 pm

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

November 2015

From the Rabbi’s Desk

Thank You and My Healing So much has happened since I wrote my last Shofar article, it is hard to believe. My entire life has changed in ways I never imagined. After being a healthy person my entire life, I am now struggling with a rare form of sinus cancer. Although there are still many unknowns in the weeks and months ahead, I am determined to use my energy and strength to be healthy again soon. I want to share a few thanks and thoughts with you at this time…

First, I want to thank you as members of Jewish Family Congregation -- and now probably as members of the future Congregation Shir Shalom. Your support, encouragement, and love help me each and every day. I receive your messages in all their various forms, and each one lifts my spirits. I have not been able to respond to them individually, nor do I anticipate doing so in the future, but I appreciate each and every expression of support. Thank you for your caring.

I am most grateful to Rabbi David Reiner, who has taken over all of my rabbinical responsibilities at this point for our congregation. He could not be more generous or kind in his help and support in everything -- from leading holiday and Shabbat services, to taking over my teaching responsibilities, and now serving other roles of running our congregation. Anything that you can do to support him is also a way to support me and my healing. Cantor Katchko-Gray also continues to lead services in my absence and her devotion helps all of us. I am so grateful to both of them for their ongoing assistance and leadership.

Hal Wolkin and Glenn Kurlander remain truly amazing in supporting me and my recovery. They have been explicit in making sure that I realize my first and primary responsibility is to focus on my health. I could not imagine a more supportive leadership, and thank them so much. Michael Salpeter has taken over some of my teaching responsibilities and Leslie Gottlieb has had to make countless adjustments to ensure the smooth running of the religious school. Jane Emmer, Kathleen Sakowicz, Carol Wakeman, and Laura Morris have all stepped in to help in filling in the gaps. I feel so blessed with such a wonderful team.

As many of you already know, I love taking advantage of life in many, many different ways. I constantly try to learn, study, and explore, and I am always thinking if I am not doing something. One of the surprises of the past few weeks is that I have not been bored out of my mind, despite the significant lack of activities of my normal life. This has been a blessing.

I know that it is hard to imagine, but I do not do very much at all during the day, yet I feel okay. The chemotherapy treatments knock the energy out of me, so I sleep much more than normal. But when awake, I do not watch television, movies, or even read, activities I normally enjoy. I speak very little on the telephone, and do not spend much time on the computer. I try to focus on eating, since that is so important in the healing process (and can be so challenging, too). Other than that, most days I chant two Hebrew phrases to myself that help me. One phrase is definitely one of my favorites, as you will recognize; the other is more curious, a surprise of sorts, even to me.

The surprise verse came to me -- I had not been looking for another mantra, of sorts. Psalm 118:14 states, “God is my strength and my song; God has become my salvation.” Although I believe in God and feel God’s presence in my life on a daily basis, this is not the typical phrase I would have normally chosen. I think I like it because it is only five Hebrew words, and the melody is very simple. The fact that this phrase is also the last psalm of the Hallel service also comforts me -- we sing these words as we celebrate the holidays of Sukkot (every day!), Passover, and Shavuot, as well as Chanukah (every day!). If you do not know this verse or melody, I hope I can teach it to you sometime.

The other verse I sing to myself comes from Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav -- “Kol haolam kulo, gesher tzar m’od. V’ha’ikar lo l’fached klal. The entire world is a very narrow bridge, and the most important thing is not to be afraid.” I mentioned this verse in my Erev Rosh HaShana sermon, a teaching that keeps me strong.

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Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From The Co-Presidents

By Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

We write this message under the shadow of sadness cast by the illness of our beloved Rabbi. What a horrible way for our community to begin the New Year.

Notwithstanding the challenges Marcus is facing, in our last, very recent conwww.jewishfamilycongregation.org versations with him by phone and email, the attributes that make him so very ————— special—his warmth, his optimism, his good humor, his bravery—shone through. He talked and wrote about being moved by the beauty and elegance of plants and flowers congregants had sent him; about feeling very tired but Rabbi also about not suffering too much from the side effects of chemotherapy; Marcus L. Burstein, D. Min. about his concern for others. He was lighthearted and able to joke and laugh. rabbi@jewishfamilycongregation.org And if you read his message in this month’s Shofar, you will see, even now, that his concern for others is paramount; that he still is so powerfully focused ————— on teaching; that his devotion to us all is manifest in his continuing to pray for us. Thank you, Marcus.

Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org With Marcus’s permission, we will create a way to keep congregants updated as to his condition and how we all may help Marcus and his family cope with Early Childhood his illness. We wish Marcus a complete healing with refuah shlemah—with Center Director wholeness. Marcus and his husband Eric are always in our thoughts and prayJane Weil Emmer ers, as we know they are in yours. office@jewishfamilycongregation.org

jemmer@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Administrator Kathleen Sakowicz

ksakowicz@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Bookkeeper Carol Wakeman cwakeman@jewishfamilycongregation.org

————— Glenn Kurlander, Co-President Hal Wolkin, Co-President

president@jewishfamilycongregation.org

If any reminder were needed, Marcus’s illness should remind us all of the critical importance of our community, especially as newly enlarged; how we come together to share and rejoice in each other’s celebrations and joys, and provide support and comfort in times of sadness and pain. “The entire world is a very narrow bridge, and the most important thing is not to be afraid,” Marcus told us in his sermon on erev Rosh Hashanah, and writes in his Shofar message, quoting Rabbi Nachman. Perhaps our community and the strength we derive from it makes that bridge a bit wider; the chasm it spans a little less deep and forbidding. How fortunate we are to have Rabbi Reiner and Cantor Katchko Gray as a continuing source of guidance in Marcus’s absence. But even as we lean on them, we must remember that they, too, will need support and comfort from us as they carry on temporarily without their friend and colleague.

Josh Blum, First Vice-President Suzanne Sunday, Second Vice-President As our community continues to change, some might find that change even more difficult to accept now. It occurs to us that we need to remind ourselves Robyn Cohen, Treasurer that we are all in this together, and that we are all experiencing change. On Richard Mishkin, Secretary the morning of Yom Kippur, we overheard two congregants—one a legacy TSI executive@jewishfamilycongregation.org member and the other a legacy JFC member—talking about our new synaKaren Conti, Trustee gogue and how things were going. Both said their impressions were generally Jon Glass, Trustee favorable. “But you know,” the legacy JFC member said, “it’s harder for us. For Mindy Hoffman, Trustee TSI members everything is really staying the same, but for us, everything is Robi Margolis, Trustee new, everything is changing—the building, everything.”

Paul Storfer, Trustee Bonnie Wattles, Trustee “I understand what you mean,” the legacy TSI member said. “I know that board@jewishfamilycongregation.org many folks from JFC had very fond feelings about their building, and they’re naturally sad to have to say good-bye. But you know, things are changing for TSI members, too. We have a new education director, and a new religious school. And the liturgy feels different to us too in a lot of places. We love MarShofar Editor cus and Leslie Gottlieb, but for us they’re new, too.”

Kathleen Sakowicz Shofar Printer Copy Stop Royal Press

Our point isn’t to compare the magnitude of the change one group or another is experiencing, but to remind us that we are all experiencing change, even if in different ways. And we’re all in this together.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

November 2015

From the Religious School

By Leslie Gottlieb

Coming Together There are obvious challenges when two worlds collide. But the larger concern is always the “people’s business,” as President Obama recently stated when discussing the fractured interests of world leaders on the stage addressing, in turn, the General Assembly of the United Nations.

Mergers and unions are always fraught with tenuous moments.

After looking back into the life of certain unions long after their creation—it is often difficult to remember what the original offending platforms were since things, with time, mostly seem to settle into a calmer productive phase. We can be talking about the union of two school districts or two countries or two synagogues. Change is a challenge but the results can be surprisingly positive as we have seen, thus far, with the union of our two legacy synagogue schools.

I grew up in the 60s and 70s in the Canarsie part Brooklyn. Interestingly, one of our Religious School teachers from TSI and I soon learned about our common roots there-- in what turned out to be an emotional first meeting.

Our son, in his Ph.D. studies in history, uncovered and gave to me a special book titled: Canarsie, The Jews and Italians of Brooklyn Against Liberalism by Jonathan Rieder. The book’s focus is on the redistricting efforts that were made and objected to by local government and school boards, teachers, parents, rabbis, the Jewish Defense League—you name it.

There was so much tension and rioting for years. Racial issues were in full play. As a child nearing my teen years, it was very confusing and it has taken a lifetime to understand what really happened and how the children were pawns in this game of life. Classes were held for long stretches at friends’ homes led by parents instead of going to school as parents used this tactic as a bargaining tool to protect their interests.

Rieder writes, “To the residents of Canarsie, New York City in the 1970s had come to feel like an alien place. Their perception of the physical environment as dangerous and unpredictable was grounded in a set of undeniable realities—the proximity of large numbers of blacks and whites at all class levels, and the breakdown of old patterns of racial dominance and deference. These factors shaped the way Canarsians experienced material and symbolic space.”

In The New York Times and other newspapers over the past few months we have heard about two schools in other parts of Brooklyn—this time Brooklyn Heights and Dumbo— at P. S. 8 where there are just too many students for one elementary school to manage. Parents at neighboring P.S. 307-- serving many families living in a housing project-- are being asked to share their neighborhood school with families in the nearby Heights area who will soon be re-districted there. The voices seem much calmer in this story than what I recall from the electrified situation in my hometown, but moving kids to a new school and making room for them by others already set in place, is never an easy course to pursue.

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Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From the Early Childhood Center

By Jane Emmer

Outdoor Play: Designing, Building, and Remodeling

Play is recognized by early childhood educators as the foundation activity for almost all future learning. Furthermore, early childhood educators recognize the critical value of outdoor play for all of our young children. Outdoor play provides the opportunity for more and different kinds of play than occur indoors: bikes and trikes, running and climbing, use of space, interaction with the environment, and experimenting with one's physical abilities. Added to our fundamental knowledge regarding the importance of outdoor play is a contemporary realization that the modern experiences of many of our children require us to place special attention on our outdoor playgrounds.

Should we buy from playground catalogs or build our own equipment? This is the question we examined as we began the process of envisioning our new outdoor space. The best outdoor playground is a safe replica of the natural, outdoor environment including a variety of textures and materials, gardens, streams, loose parts, places to get away from the crowd, and things to create.

A good playground needs to provide all children who use it with opportunities for a variety of play: physical, social, constructive, dramatic, and games with rules This can be done in a variety of ways, but needs to include climbing structures, opportunity for wheeled toys, moveable parts, sandboxes, dramatic play structures, and grass areas for games. Playgrounds need to replicate nature . They also need to allow children to experiment, risk, and control the environment. Finally, playgrounds need to be responsive to each child.

The central strategy we used to guide us when creating outdoor space in our new home is to ask how the playground can be used both to extend the indoor environment and to provide opportunities that cannot be provided indoors. Extension activities include sand and water equipment, painting sidewalks and fences and using chalk to draw murals. Examples of opportunities that cannot be provided indoors include swinging and climbing; trike, bike, and wagon paths; and running and games areas.

Our new outdoor space is a work in progress.. Many thanks to our builders and creators: The Castelhano Family, The Hollander Family, The Rappaport Family, The Cohlan Family...and my husband Stu Tygert! Coming soon… Our new and improved organic vegetable garden - Thanks to the Gallagher family.

If you have an idea… and would like to help on the next phase of our outdoor development ..Please let me know. I look forward to hearing your ideas…

Jane

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

November 2015

From the Ritual Committee

By Michael Salpeter

Each year around the High Holy Days I think about my favorite movie of all time, The Shawshank Redemption. If you have seen this film, you probably realize that this is a story of hope – that despite the most difficult of circumstances for convicts who are incarcerated for decades that a degree of hope exists for them, whether it be a mere glimmer or a substantial quantity.

We hope that through the Kol Nidre prayer that our past vows and oaths are declared null and void. We hope, when singing Avinu Malkeinu, that Adonai will seal us in the Book of Life for the coming year. In chanting the Unataneh Tokef, we hope that through prayer, repentance and tzadakah we can avert the decree of death.

This past Yom Kippur hope took on a whole different meaning for me. Just about 24 hours after the end of Rosh Hashanah I was jolted by a phone call from Rabbi Burstein informing me that the cause of his lingering sinus condition was the presence of a cancerous tumor. I was again disheartened less than a week after that when he informed me that he would not be able to participate in Yom Kippur services as he was in a weakened state.

When I sat down to write this article I decided to check the internet for famous quotes about hope, thinking that possibly I would have a few dozen to choose from. It was quite a surprise to find one site alone that listed over 8000 quotes pertaining to hope. One that stood out in particular is attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King – “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” I am not certain if Rabbi Burstein has ever read this quote, but in his text messages and phone conversations we have had over these several weeks he has been living these words. Despite being in discomfort and going to medical appointments and treatment visits, he has been overwhelmingly hopeful and optimistic about a thorough recovery and the chance to return to his congregants at the earliest possible time.

At the very conclusion of The Shawshank Redemption there is a very poignant line – “I hope to see my friend and shake his hand”, with the movie concluding two lines later with the words, “I hope”, as the friends unite.

I am certain I speak for all members of our congregation that we hope to see the day soon when Rabbi Burstein reaches a full recovery and we can see his bright smile on a Friday night and shake his hand. I hope.

Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Cantor Debbie’s Corner

By Cantor Debbie Katchko-Gray

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Social Action

By Debbie Landzberg and Debbie Lavin

November 2015

Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Page 9

Continued from page 2—Rabbi’s Desk I hope that my health will continue to improve in the months ahead -- there will not be an easy fix. Please know that I want to be with you at our congregation as soon as I can. That being said, your support and encouragement do make a difference in my health -- physical, spiritual, and emotional. I will continue to pray for you, just as I hope you continue to pray for me.

Thank you, thank you…

Rabbi Marcus Burstein

Continued from page 3—Co-Presidents Message It seems to us that the people who have had the easiest time accepting the changes are the ones who have gotten or stayed involved some way in the life of our new synagogue. They’ve joined the Sisterhood, or a committee or the Brotherhood. They volunteered to help with the Yom Kippur break fast. Or they’ve made it a point to attend Shabbat services a little more often. In one way or another, they’ve acted on the observation we had several months ago: that the future is not preordained; that we can make our new synagogue anything we want it to be; that the way to make an impact is to be engaged and involved. After all, the only way to predict the future is to make it.

We’ll end by reminding you that we need your support for our Yom Kippur appeal. If you haven’t yet made a pledge, please do so and join with the members of our community who already have, so that we may keep our community strong and vital.

Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

Continued from page 4—Religious School On the last day of September our 7th grade class—33 kids strong are registered in the grade —helped to bring the High Holy Day food donations to The Community Center of Northern Westchester (and much food was also given to some Connecticut food pantries). The kids and parent volunteers weighed the bags (1,335 lbs. were delivered that day) and then sorted and shelved all the items. Before leaving for a community pizza dinner—we all listened to the directors of the center who shared some startling facts about the poor in our midst. A wave of emotion overtook us all and the mutual concern we shared was a uniting force. At dinner, around large communal tables arranged for us at the restaurant, there were no more TSI and JFC kids—just a Religious School family waiting to create new memories together.

Rabbi Burstein’s absence due to illness at this critical time is heartbreaking in so many ways. I liken it to a Greek tragedy in its magnitude; as everyone knows, former JFC members recently lost beloved Cantor Kerry Ben David-- and the absence of these two powerful personalities (for Rabbi Burstein, temporarily) is overwhelming. It should be known that the families and staff from TSI have welcomed us into their spiritual home in a meaningful way and this has been so helpful-- and it is my hope that our members will grow together and become one family… led by our children.

Thank you to all who have given their support and encouragement to all members of the school team.

Here’s to a magical 5776 and beyond!

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

November 2015

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date.

ANNIVERSARIES Brian & Sari Benson John Grzymala & Linda Lederman Eric Sherr & Michele Auerbach-Sherr

YAHRZEITS Jack Bergson Morton Birnbaum Mayer Blum Howard Cohlan Harry Firestein Denise Fuchs Hirsh Grossman David Hoffman William Keleher Arthur Klein Ruth Kurzweil Rothwax Horst Leffkowitz

Mordecai Lewittes Joseph Victor Meister Freda Ossher Sheila Ravitch Gitlitz Rachel Rosenhouse Betty Rubin Marvin Schattner Freda Shuler Aaron Stillman Bernice Strauss Edgar Strauss

BIRTHDAYS Rick Barrett

Felice Kempler

Sandra Barrett

Harrison Lavin

Evan Bender

Sigal Leitner

Liza Breslin

Gary Levine

Eve Chipman

Warren Lustig

Reyna Cohen

Harold Ossher

Bobbie Cohlan

Joel Ossher

Matthew Emmer

Freddy Perlman

Amy Fischer

Matthew Portnoy

Samson Robert

Noah Rappaport

Friedman

Harry Rosenhouse

Allen Gabor

Rayn Schnell

Nina Claire Gitlitz

Maya Schwartz

Andrew Glass

Judy Vandervelden

Dylan Gottlieb

Sebastian Wallach

Kenneth Hoffman

Calvin Wein

Leonardo Junquera

Miranda Wein

Aaron Kaplan

Penelope Wein

Joel Kaplan

Mira Zaslow

Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

Please Support Our Advertisers

Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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The Gantze Mishpocha Genealogy Group Want to untangle the roots of your family tree?

Join us for a meeting of The Gantze Mishpocha Genealogy Group on Sunday, November 15, 1:00 pm in Ridgefield. We’ll get together to share genealogical information, exchange research tips and learn from one another. Both beginners and experienced researchers are welcome.

To RSVP, or for more information,contact Elaine Gordon at elaine.gordon101@gmail.com.

Let’s discover our family histories together. Who knows what we’ll dig up!

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

November 2015

Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Donations Early Childhood Center Rick and Bobbie Cohlan

In honor of Jane Emmer

General Fund Wendy Blum

In honor of Josh, Michelle, Sam, Isaiah, and Ella Blum and Rabbi Burstein who is always so welcoming.

Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.

The Yom Kippur Appeal Donor list will be published soon. If you haven’t yet pledged, there is still time. Please call the temple office at 203-438-6589

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Blood Drive

November 2015

Join us Wednesday,

November 11 2—8 pm Contact Debbie Lavin to sign up: Debbielav@aol.com

Chesvan/Kislev 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Return form to Leslie Gottlieb, Religious School Director

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Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

Religious School Students visit the Sukkah

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Congregational Meeting Save the Date Sunday, December 6, 10 am 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield, CT (Snow date– Sunday, December 10, 10 am)

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org