October 2015 - Tishri/Cheshvan 5776

Shofar Tishri/ Cheshvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

October 2015

October Service Schedule Shabbat Chol Hamoed Sukkot October 2

6:00 pm

October 3

10:30 am

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Max Grzymala in South Salem

Simchat Torah

Sunday Religious School Service

October 4

6:00 pm

October 5

10:00 am

Erev Simchat Torah and Shabbat Service in Ridgefield Simchat Torah service in South Salem

Shabbat Bereshit, Genesis 1:1—6:8 October 9

7:30 pm

October 10

10:30 am

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Tyler Leitner in Ridgefield

Shabbat Noach, Genesis 6:9—11:32

Top of the Mountain

October 16

7:30 pm

October 17

10:30 am

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Alexander Junquera in Ridgefield

Shabbat Lech Lecha, Genesis 12:1—17:27 October 23

7:30 pm

October 24

10:30 am 5:00 pm

Shabbat Service in Ridgefield Shabbat in the Round, Ridgefield, CT Shabbat Service including Bat Mitzvah of Lauren Rose in Ridgefield

Shabbat Vayera, Genesis 18:1—22:24

Youth group in their new lounge From the Rabbi’s Desk President’s Message Religious School Early Childhood Center Ritual Committee

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Cantor’s Corner Social Action Yahrzeit/Birthday/Anniversary Donations

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

From the Rabbi’s Desk

Shabbat in the Round -- A New Worship Opportunity As we become a larger congregation with more resources available to us, you will find that we can offer more and diverse programs for our members at services, learning sessions, and social events.

Rabbi Reiner and I have planned several Shabbat in the Round Saturday morning services for this upcoming year to take place when there is not a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony that morning.

These services will take place in the library of the Ridgefield location to provide an intimate and personal experience. In addition to the usual Shabbat morning prayers and torah reading, we may take some time during the service to share some personal thoughts and reactions to the prayers. We also anticipate that members of our congregation will contribute some of their own scholarship and examples from their own lives during the services.

Each Shabbat in the Round service will begin at 10:30 am and will be followed by a pot-luck, vegetarian luncheon. In this way, we hope to share our lives with each other in addition to the prayer service.

We promise that these services will be accessible to all -- you do not have to be "talmud chuchum" (torah scholar in Yiddish) to appreciate and enjoy the worship opportunity.

Please join us for the first Shabbat in the Round service on Saturday, October 24.

I look forward to seeing you!

Rabbi Marcus Burstein

Scheduling Weddings or Funerals with Rabbi Burstein

Rabbi Burstein wants very much to be with you during significant life-cycle moments. Please speak with him before setting any dates or times for weddings or funerals. Don’t be disappointed to learn he is not available at the time you’ve already arranged, bring him “into the loop” at the very beginning of your planning.

Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From The Co-Presidents

By Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

September was a month of change. Summer exits and fall takes its place. The leaves begin to turn. School buses continue to follow their routes, but the destination is school, not day camp. On the Jewish calwww.jewishfamilycongregation.org endar, on the 1st day of Tishri—this year corresponding to the 14th day ————— of September—we mark Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of a New Year.

We embark on a period of reflection and assessment, punctuated by Rabbi new resolve and renewed commitments. The High Holy Days are in Marcus L. Burstein, D. Min. some fundamental way about change: about undertaking a commitrabbi@jewishfamilycongregation.org ment to change the way we think and act; about aspiring to do better; about taking a different, perhaps higher, path. This year, in particular, ————— it is also about bringing our area’s Jewish Community together in order Director of Education to build a larger, more vibrant and more stable foundation for the fuLeslie Gottlieb ture. office@jewishfamilycongregation.org

lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Looking back over the year that is coming to an end, it’s almost incredible how much change we’ve experienced as a community. It was one year ago in the September 2014 Presidents’ message, that we jemmer@jewishfamilycongregation.org wrote for the first time about the fact that a small group of Board members had begun conversations with the leadership of Temple Administrator Shearith Israel, for the purpose of exploring a range of opportunities Kathleen Sakowicz for our two congregations to collaborate in ways that would be benefiksakowicz@jewishfamilycongregation.org cial for each and to the Jewish community.

Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer

Bookkeeper Carol Wakeman cwakeman@jewishfamilycongregation.org

—————

Those conversations were preliminary and exploratory. But they were the first step that brought us all to the exciting path to which our community is now firmly committed: the formation of a new synagogue.

Glenn Kurlander, Co-President Hal Wolkin, Co-President

We noted from the very beginning that in building a new synagogue there would be things we wouldn’t want to—we couldn’t—change. president@jewishfamilycongregation.org Those were the things that define our essence; our uniqueness. We may all have different ways of expressing these attributes, but for us, Josh Blum, First Vice-President Suzanne Sunday, Second Vice-President the unique JFC qualities are our sense of family; our connectedness; our informality; our commitment to our children’s education; our affecRobyn Cohen, Treasurer tion and respect for our clergy; our emphasis on music and song in our Richard Mishkin, Secretary executive@jewishfamilycongregation.org worship.

Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee Bonnie Wattles, Trustee

board@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Shofar Editor Kathleen Sakowicz Shofar Printer Copy Stop Royal Press

Looking back over the past year, and all the work so many people had to do in order to put our area’s Jewish community on the path to joining together in one new synagogue, the thing that is striking is that there really weren’t fundamental differences. There were no major disagreements; no ultimata; no political maneuverings. In part, that was because of the good will and dedication of so many people who undertook this significant challenge. In part, it was because people were able to keep their eyes on the ball, and refused to get sidetracked by small issues. But it was also because, at root, the two legacy synagogues shared the same core values.

One of the values that resonated so powerfully throughout the early discussions and continues to echo so powerfully today is the commitment both legacy synagogues historically have made to extending Continued on page 9

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

From the Religious School

By Leslie Gottlieb Celebrating Jewish rituals and lifecycle events have a way of providing comfort and structure to our lives. That is why it came as such a cold shock to read last month in The New York Law Journal the article, Mother Owes Son $5,000 Bar Mitzvah Gift from ‘Baba,’ Judge Says. Even though Jordan, the twenty year-old who left Mom and Grandma (aka Baba) off the guest list for this seminal event in his life—he was promised a gift of $5,000. Somehow, the mitzvah in Bar Mitzvah was lost along the way.

A small claims complaint was filed and documents were submitted as this son sued his mother for damages related to a gift withheld.

So where did things fall off the track exactly? How was the mark missed? There is no guessing as the private lives of families are unknown to outsiders—and even those mired in the heavy lifting of family matters gone awry have trouble untangling personal emotions from the real story. Is there ever a real story and does it matter what the facts are, facts that lead to family decay? Somehow we have trouble learning life’s lessons—even given many decades of hands-on experimentation.

The Religious School experience aims higher, of course. Taking classes during one’s childhood cannot ensure a good life lived without strife, but the intention, the kavannah, is to reach for a better way to deal with life’s pivotal moments. Religion should support us, not lead to the breakdown of family ties.

The great irony of marking a milestone in life worthy of celebration is revealed when family members bicker and fight at these emotional times. A funeral for a loved one ends in siblings holding grudges and leaving the shiva on non-speaking terms; a wedding ends in a brawl; a family leaves the synagogue after their son’s Bar Mitzvah event claiming they were treated unkindly; a mother is sued for a gift owed to her son. And so it goes….

We can teach prayer, Torah, holidays, the Jewish calendar, Hebrew, and more—and all of it cannot stand alone (although one can argue that Torah can stand alone, period) unless there is a valuesdriven agenda connected to it all. If students are being bullied or insulted in the walls of a school, there is more trouble than an inability to pass grade-level assessments. We need to convey the spirit behind the laws and liturgy. Students have to understand that they need to reach deeper in this learning context to be the best they can be as human beings. You can get extra credit or feel proud for bringing tzedakah to class each week—but if you cheat or lie or hurt someone purposely, what is gained, really?

The lesson of g’milut chasidim, or kindness to others, is paramount in the school setting.

We teach about the most important holiday on the Jewish calendar, Shabbat. We talk about keeping it holy. This, of course, means something different to all of us and Jews, in general, have a difficult time agreeing about what the commitment entails, precisely. Are you a faithful Jew for stopping to meditate on the meaning of the Sabbath? If you light candles but do not say the blessing for them, some would say that the action and the prayer are at a loss for meaning when unaccompanied by the other to sanctify the experience. Does one have to sit shiva for a loved one for seven days? These are ideas to talk about and teach at the Religious School-- and then families and students are left with personal decisions to make. We all need to define what holiness means-- but we also need to establish a foundation with the teachings necessary to make those choices real.

The famous British neurologist, Oliver Sacks, who died at eighty-two in late August reflected on his life over his last year, especially, and wrote an essay, Sabbath, as his final piece on life. He wrote, “And now, weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increasingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, by what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life— achieving a sense of peace within oneself. I find myself drifting toward the Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one’s life as well, when one can feel that one’s work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest.”

Continued on page 9

Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From the Early Childhood Center

By Jane Emmer

We started the school year off with lots of excitement and fun. We were thrilled to explore the new space and meet new friends. The children and teachers in The Early Childhood Center are busy engaging in play learning from each other.

Types of play Children’s play can be divided into categories, but the types of play often overlap.

• Dramatic — Fantasy-directed play with dressing up in costumes, assuming roles as characters, using toys to represent characters in stories, creating imaginary settings, and pretending to take on the roles of adults.

• Manipulative — Holding and handling small toys often used to build objects but also found in puzzles, characters, beads, etc.

• Physical — Using the whole body in activities with bikes, balls, jump ropes, hoops, play structures, etc.

• Creative — Using art materials such as paint, clay, crayons, pencils, glue, etc. The play takes place in the process of using the materials, not in the end product.

Benefits of play Through play, children develop skills they’ll use in their school years.

Physical Both gross and fine motor development occurs through play. When kids play outdoors, if they feel comfortable and supported, they’ll push themselves to new challenges and build motor skills. Developing fine motor skills, such as handling small objects, is a way for children to practice using their hands and fingers, which in turn builds the strength and coordination critical for writing skills.

Language Children build language skills through cooperative play. Their success depends on their ability and patience in explaining themselves.

Teachers repeat the words children say to help others understand.

They also teach words about the objects the kids are interested in handling. Students may talk to themselves while playing side by side with other children and then begin to repeat what they hear or start talking to each other. This develops into back-and-forth communication about play, becoming increasingly sophisticated by age Children will now set rules, have specific roles, express their interests or objections, and chatter about funny situations that occur in the course of play.

4.

Self-concept Play builds a strong sense of self-confidence. Trying to do a certain trick on a play structure or build with blocks is hard work for a preschooler. Teachers acknowledge these experiences by articulating what they observe and letting the preschooler absorb these accomplishments again. There are also therapeutic benefits to play that help all children. For example, understanding that a parent is going to work and will come back at pick-up time can be reinforced through a play scenario.

Continued on page 9

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

From the Ritual Committee

By Michael Salpeter

Rosh Hashanah has just ended as I am sitting down to write this article. I would therefore like to use this column to reflect upon the few days that have recently passed. If you were among the 1000 or so congregants who attended the first day Rosh Hashanah services you probably experienced the joy the members of the ritual committee felt in having so impressive a community come together to worship. We were pleased that so large an undertaking could be accomplished for the first time with only a few minor glitches that were all but invisible to most of the attendees.

First I would like to summarize some of the highlights. The Erev Rosh Hashanah service was followed by an elaborate Oneg Rosh Hashanah which was hosted by the Boards of Trustees of the two legacy congregations. This afforded the opportunity for old friends to reconnect and for people who might not have previously known each other to introduce themselves. The following morning during the two services we were able to experience slightly different worship styles, the early service being a little shorter with a less formal sermonette, and the later service which was more typical in fashion. Each service gave the attendees the spiritual environment in which to celebrate the New Year. The second morning Rosh Hashanah service, as expected, was conducted in a more intimate manner in our sanctuary, followed by the congregational luncheon for those who chose to attend.

In order for the services to be as successful as they were took untold hours of preparation as well as great cooperation by the members of our new synagogue. I would then be remiss if I did not give thanks to the following:              

To Rabbi Burstein, Rabbi Reiner and Cantor Katchko-Gray for leading us so meaningfully.

To the musicians and members of the choir who so beautifully performed the various musical selections.

To the members of the ritual committee, particularly our co-chair Louis Haber who made sure the small details were planned.

To the members of the Boards and Core Committee who were involved to help guide us.

To the volunteers who helped with parking, security, ticket checking, and ushering.

To our Torah and Haftarah chanters and Shofar blowers.

To the synagogue members who volunteered to switch to the earlier service to help accommodate the large numbers of people who needed to be seated in the sanctuary.

To our office staff Kathleen Sakowicz, Laura Morris and Carol Wakeman who handled the myriad of details.

To Lauren Sugar who made sure the building looked like a home to all.

To our building staff Miguel Santiago and Lorilee Palazzo who set up and maintained the sanctuary.

To our members Gary and Paula Levine of Bedford Bagels who catered our Second Day Rosh Hashanah luncheon for providing their usual fantastic quality and quantity of food for an amazingly reasonable cost to the attendees.

To any congregants who may have been affected by minor glitches and graciously accepted our apologies.

To anybody else who contributed to the success of the services and who I may have inadvertently omitted.

And to everyone who attended the High Holy Day services who helped confirm that a large Jewish community can and needs to exist in Northern Westchester and Western Fairfield Counties.

The members of the ritual committee and the clergy look forward to celebrating many more festivals and Shabbatot with you and wish you and your families a sweet New Year.

Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Cantor Debbie’s Corner

By Cantor Debbie Katchko-Gray Lishmoa El Harina v’el Hat’filah These words are from the Slichot service, and translate as, “listen to our song, and our prayer” As my cousin, Cantor Leopold Szneer taught me, the song brings you closer to the prayer- and so our music during the holydays helped us bring us closer – I want to thank the many musicians who helped make our High Holyday main services uplifting and beautiful: Emily Howard Terry Henry Ray Schwartz Scott Gray Ken Isman Joan Isman Lisa Papernik Curt Shulman Alan Pilch Amanda Goodman

Michael Horowitz Lynn Becker Tammy Strom Robert Strom Debbie Lavin Claire Katz Laurie Dubin Scott Trachtenberg Bruce Appelson Jane LaMotta

Thanks to our soloists and musicians: Wendy Wallach DeLucia, Ken Isman, Carrie Chanin Cousin Michael Belinkie of the US Navy Seachanters Accompanist- Barbara Orwick Reed Artists- Mark Fineberg bronxbearmusic.com Flute- Adrianne Greenbaum Shiru Ladonai Shir Chadash- Sing a New Song Unto G-dMay we continue to sing and share the spirit of light and hope during the New Year 5776. Please note the Music Shabbat and Ruach Shabbat dates for extra special music and musical artists. Many thanks to our rabbis and ritual committee for the extraordinary planning and caring during this time.

Shalom, Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Social Action

By Debbie Landzberg and Debbie Lavin

October 2015

Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Continued from page 3—Co-Presidents’ message

membership to all who wish to join, irrespective of financial ability. Opening the doors of our synagogue to all who seek to enter is one of those attributes that defines our essence; that is truly at the core of who we are. It is rooted in our sense of family and our sense of connectedness. It is something that cannot change. Our counterparts up the road a piece would say—have said—exactly the same thing.

Because it is so fundamental to our shared beliefs, now that we have embarked on the path to union, during the High Holy Days when we gather in the Ridgefield building we will again ask those who can afford to do so to support the High Holy Day / Yom Kippur campaign, so that we can continue to offer membership to those families who otherwise could not experience the sheltering embrace of our synagogue. We hope that you those who can afford to do so will support the High Holy Day / Yom Kippur Campaign, because it is at the core of who we are, because it is one of the values upon which our new synagogue stands firmly and proudly and simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

Continued from page 4—Religious School

With a religious background, but a life lived secularly, Sacks brings to mind the idea that religion can be a comfort when called upon for those who understand and subscribe to it; it can lead to holiness and peace.

Thanks to all of the families of the Religious School for sharing your precious children with us each week and for giving us a chance, with your ultimate guidance, to lead them on this path of understanding.

Continued from page 5—Early Childhood Center

Social development Listening, negotiating, and compromising are challenging for 4- and 5-year-olds. Though children at this age are still egocentric, or unable to think beyond their own needs, working with others helps them develop an awareness of differences in people around them. These experiences in preschool provide a foundation for learning how to solve problems and communicate with peers. Play also helps build positive leadership qualities for children who are naturally inclined to direct but must learn how to control their impulses.

As we move through our year, we remind ourselves the importance of play.

EARLY CHILDHOOD CENTER OPPORTUNITIES: Contact Jane Emmer at 203-438-6589 if you are interested in participating in the below activities: - I am forming an advisory team of professionals who work with children. This will be a group of people who can be available to the ECC staff and the director. It will not require regular meetings, just an opportunity to brainstorm ideas to make our school better.

- I would like to start an intergenerational program at the ECC. If you would like to participate and work with our kids please let me know.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date.

ANNIVERSARIES Paul & Elizabeth Amerling Neal & Karen Blum Brian & Jillian Chipman Leonardo & Allison Junquera Kenneth Levinsohn & Ellen Strauss Michael & Rona Salpeter Eric & Andrea Stegman Paul & Kathleen Storfer Dr. Jay Zaslow & Dr. Samantha Rai David & Elisa Zuckerberg

BIRTHDAYS Frank Andrade

Laurel Levinsohn

Daniel Barson

Phoebe Lichtman

Daniel Bloch

Catherine Mishkin

Evan Dash

Lauren Rose

Jonathan Elias

Dr. Eric Rudin

Joshua Fischman

Jeanette Sanders

Joseph Furic

Sarabeth Sanders

Jonathan Gilbert

Polly Schnell

Emily Kahn

Greg Schwartz

Sam Kaplan

Daniel Stegman

Sean Kaplan

Eric Stegman

Debra Lavin

Jeremy Tubbs

Kyle Leitner

Tyler Reardon Wallach

David Levens

Luke Weiser

YAHRZEITS Gerhard Bendix Jennifer Laurie Brainerd Edythe Cohen Leonard Dutka David Emmer William Fischman Amy Friedlander Gregory Friedlander Molly Friedlander Eddy Fuchs Thomas Gabor Helen Garfiel Jacob Goldberg Elias Jacobson Esther Kalb Saul Kurzweil

Julius Leitner Leroy Ronald Levin Dora Lichtbach Harriet Mazlish Joseph Meyer Gordon Sylvia Mininberg Yale Ossher Yitzchak Rabin Dominic Romeo Anna Schattner Rachel Sher Philip Silverman Norma Sklarin Leon Spear Richard Stanley Jean Steinhorn

Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

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Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Donations General Fund Robi Margolis Robi Margolis Suzanne Sunday and Ken Kurzweil

In memory of Rose Margolis In memory of Colette Horvilleur In memory of Colette Horvilleur

Rabbi Discretionary Fund Marcus Burstein Matt Polinsky and Tina August

In memory of Pearl Bell Feldman In honor of Rabbi Marcus Burstein and Rabbi David Reiner

Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

October 2015

Tishri/Chesvan 5776

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

Early Childhood Center started the year off with Big Smiles!

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Help us Help the Homeless Donation bin located in the Ridgefield campus entryway until Friday, October 16 We need lots of New men’s warm socks (dark colors), boxers (size M/L/XL), and cold weather gloved (dark colors) See page 8 for more social action opportunities

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org