Do You Know About The First Step In Al-Anon? digitalbloggers.com /self-improvement/FirstStepinAlAnon Oct 22, 2016 28 views Written by JIE ZHENG
Author JIE ZHENG
Articles written: 7 Joined: 01 October 2016 Niche: Communications Internet and Businesses Online Self Improvement
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Surrender is a big word for me. It changed my life.
My ex-mom-in-law introduced me Al-anon while I was in China. I joined the online meeting a few times. I did not quite like it. I went to a local church for some meetings (maybe only 2 times). 4 persons showed up, 3 foreigners and me. I did not know if people in China would not want to admit this problem or what. I am not sure how it goes now. I did not know what to do about living with a person with the drinking problem. Several years passed by. Around Nov., 2011, my ex decided to come back to the States. After we separated for 1.5 years to be together again, I was shocked when I saw him at airport. He was quite skinny. 2 weeks later, I found him drinking again. This time was worse than while I was in China. Soon after that, I sent one email to my ex-mom-in-law. We had a talk and they asked me if it was okay to go to Al-anon meeting together. I said yes. That was July or August 2013. I am not sure if you know about Al-anon. They helped me a lot in that year. One topic we talked was about “surrender”. First, I admitted that I am powerless over alcohol. (Note: the twelve steps in al-anon: the First Step, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.) It is true. I tried many ways and I failed. I hid the wine in different bottles for cooking. I poured them out. I did not know what to do with him. I was cautious around him. Do you understand how ridiculous that you had to be cautious around your own husband? I had to, because I had no idea when he drank, how much he drank, when he was going to explode, when he could be triggered, what he was going to do with me. Every day I lived life with fear and hopelessness. When I surrendered, special when he drank, I read the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” How do I think about surrender? It released my pressure and stress. I gave the troubles to the higher power. Let him deal with the problems. I focused on the things I can change in me. (It is another topic about knowing the difference. What you can change and what you cannot change.) My point is surrender for me means I admitted that I cannot control the issue. I want to let it go. I trust something or someone that has higher power could help me. You could say it is universe. I want my sanity and peace at heart. Surrender means I put down my pride and I seek for help, I reach out. Trust me, if you have the drinking problem or someone in your family or friends have that problem, you cannot solve it by yourself alone. You need some help, you need someone that understands your language and feeling and give you support. Al-anon is a nice and safe place when it comes to this problem.
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After my separation and divorce, while I was seeking for passion, I joined The Six Figure Mentors Community. This is another big time that I learn about “surrender”. While I am learning the new skills to start online marketing business, I am also learning self-discovery from this community. What do I need to surrender now? It is a life time business, before the plane takes off, I need to have enough patience and trust the process. Does the system work? Of course, we have many members live in abundance and freedom, travel the world and receive the money while they sleep. They do the work. Things take time. Not only with the business, but also trust my personal life. How many times I wish I am in a wonderful relationship? I wondered and I cried. I asked myself, “Do you trust him?” We all know the answer. That is it. I wiped out my tears, came back to do what I need to do, live life within today. Do you surrender? What do you surrender? How does it feel? Does it change your life? Please share with me about your thoughts and stories. I hope you have peace in your mind. Jie Zheng Oct. 22, 2016 At Columbia, SC
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