Why Was I Scared Before I Came To China? digitalbloggers.com /self-improvement/whyscared Dec 13, 2016 65 views Written by JIE ZHENG
Author JIE ZHENG
Articles written: 22 Joined: 01 October 2016 Niche: Communications Internet and Businesses Online Self Improvement I was really scared before I came to China. I delayed my trip for months and months this year. First was because of two English tests, thought I would prepare them to go to Darla Moore School of Business (I did not make it, my GMAT was in low score), then there were two events at the Six Figure Mentors, then was a concert help to support a friend. After I finally booked the tickets, I still did not do much about packaging, because I wanted to work and gave time to work. I only finished my packaging the day before my flight. Before that, there were several times and days I felt scared just to think about going to China. Two days before my flight, I had to force myself to do the packaging before I did any work. I was quite nervous during the day time on last Saturday, Dec. 10, 2016. I did not even want to listen to audio book while I did the packaging, as if I could not focus on packaging, I would miss something. Why? Why was that? I kept asking myself this question and tried to understand why I acted that way and why my body felt so negative. Some of the reasons that I know: 1. Last time, when I was in China, I was sick all the time. I coughed a lot. I recovered as soon as I went back to the states. 2. The circles are different. Special now, I do not have friends in this online marketing business in China. I do not have friends in China that talk with me about personal improvement. I was afraid to lose the momentum. 3. I was accused of not being a good daughter and someothers. I cried over a month last time after I went back to the states. (While my mother supports me all the way, even she would rather have me around.) ------- By the way, you really love someone deep enough to let that person go, because you know you cannot give them what they want. This does not only happen in relationships between lovers, it is also there in many relationships. 4. Somehow, I do not know how to live in China, with that crazy busy roads and cars, I dare not drive in China. And I dislike the long hours in commuting. I did not make time with most friends when I was in China. When I first time left for the states, I thought I left everything behind, if I did not have any friends for years in China, it was okay, that was the past. I was so wrong. I do not think that way now.The past defines today and today defines future. I have to pay the consequence of that. There are some other reasons that I prefer keeping to myself. I think what I am about to share with you is when your body does not send out the good energy, when you are down, please pause and try to understand yourself by asking yourself questions like why. We all want to have the inner
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peace wherever we are. If you are like me, that you live in another country, how do you feel when you need to go to your country for a while? If you are a Chinese, living in another country, how do you feel before you go back to China for a visit? Once you understand your why and some reasons, you then can see what you could do that would be at your control and let go of those out of your control. Trust the journey and if possible, enjoy your every day among the busy life schedule. I do not usually go to China for a week or two weeks. I usually stay for 1 - 2 months each time. I must be thankful that I can do this. I also know this time, I came here mainly to do something as a daughter. It is important for me to remind myself of my why. They are big enough to overcome the fears and challenges. "Everything will be fine, my dear." I said to myself. Think about my questions above and please share with me if this resonates with your story. Thank you. Jie Zheng Dec. 14, 2016 at Xiamen, China
P.S. I wrote one blog on the road. Appreicate your reading and share the blog. Thank you. Click below for links. Florence Foster Jenkins – Movie Recommendation
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