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the new look of miller time.
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DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE
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HEEL PARTY
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PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com
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Keyboard Karaoke I know a fine way, to treat a Steinway, or a high-tone baby grand! Join in the fun with Keyboard Karaoke. You’ll hear all of your favorite songs and you can even sing along as they’re played on stage at the piano. So clear out the ol’ windpipes, songbirds! The show starts at 8 p.m. every Sunday at Amsterdam, 718 N. Central Ave. Phoenix. Phone: 602-258-6122
Phurfest 2013 Grrrr! It’s time for Phoenix Phurfest 2013. ¡Olé! This year’s theme brings a new sleuth of hairy muchachos and hombres with “Osos de Mayo” who will be fundraising for PFLAG Phoenix—Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays. All bears, cubs, otters and admirers of the hirsute and hairy are welcome! It all happens May 2-6. Visit PhurFest.org for locations, events, info & more!
Get Lei’d at Dick’s Cabaret Surf on over to Dick’s Cabaret for the their annual Get Lei’d Bash! You’ll go bananas over the banana crops that are ripe for the pickin’ at the Valley’s hottest—and only!—all nude male dance show palace & pecker emporium! Enjoy $2 regular lap dances from 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Win tons of prizes and giveaways! The Long Dong Luau happens on Friday and Saturday, May 17 & 18. You’re guaranteed to get “lei’d!” Aloha! 3432 E. Illini. 602-274-DICKS
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Night for Life 2013 Get your tuxedo or your evening gown ready and bust up your wig! The social event of the year is here! Rub elbows and hob-nob with la crème de la crème of polite society at Night for Life, raising money for the Southwest Center for HIV/ AIDS. It happens Friday, May 11 at the Montelucia Resort & Spa, 4949 E. Lincoln at Tatum Blvd. in fancy Paradise Valley. For info & tix go to SWHIV.org or call 602-307-5330 x 2241
Monday Morning Madness Experience the mind-blowing insanity of Monday Morning Madness at IBT’s in Tucson! The delerium and dementia begins when the doors open May 27 at 10 a.m. for a day of drinking, drag illusion and delusion! You’ll lose your mind with a free breakfast buffet, a Tea Dance, drink specials at 9 p.m. and karaoke! Bunny FuFu is the Hostess of Hysteria with Janée Star, Diva and China Collins. You’ll lose your mind! 616 N. 4th Ave. Tucson. 520-882-3053. IBTsTucson.com
MAY 2013 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT LOCATION CITY Sundays Keyboard Karaoke Amsterdam Phoenix 2-6 Phurfest various locations 3-5 Kaleidescope - Phx Men’s Chorus Phoenix College Phoenix 4 Cinco de Mayo Party Karamba Phoenix 4 Chili Verde Day Charlie’s Phoenix 5 Barbra’s Salsa Challenge Karamba Phoenix 11 Night for Life Montelucia Paradise Valley 11 Toga Party BS West Scottsdale 17 Bearracuda The Rock Phoenix 21 White Trash Party BS West Scottsdale 26 Patio Party The Rock Phoenix 26 Memorial Day Party Karmaba Phoenix 27 Monday Morning Madness IBT’s Tucson JUNE 8 Pride Gala
Downtown Sheraton
Phoenix
Charlie’s Presents in association with Miller Lite
Gay Bowl 2013 Return to Excellence October 10th - 14th
Contact Jared Garduno to sponsor today! 602.284.9207 or go to www.gaybowl13.com
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PHOENIX PRIDE PARADE & FESTIVAL
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UNITY PARTY
THE PRESSROOM
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MEAT FRIDAYS
ICEPICS
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TAN UNITED SPLASH BASH
PHX PL ACE HOTEL
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MEN’S FASHION SHOW
M A C Y ’ S BILT M O R E
FE AT U R I N G T H E PH O EN I X M E T RO P O LITA N M EN S ’ C H O RU S
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Look at the Freaks!
Nearly Naked Theatre’s Summer Musical
Photos by Sean Kapera www.SeanKaperaPhotography.com Art Direction by Kevin Bushaw Production Assistance: Olivia Mast, Drew Swaine, Suze St. John, Dee Phipps & Kohl Kapitan. Makeup by Terre Steed & Rebecca Hollingsworth
W
e wait for it every year ... the big summer production at Nearly Naked Theatre. Usually it’s a musical, and usually one we’ve never seen before— or rarely ever see. It’s an incredible thing to have a theatre company that will bring us musicals no one else will do—mostly because they think they’re not financially viable. And Nearly Naked always proves them wrong. 30
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And this year? Side Show. Fanfreakin’-tastic! This wonderful and almost too-interesting musical was nominated for four Tony Awards in 1998. And yet there’s never been a local production—until now. Hurry, hurry! Step right up! The musical is a fascinating tale based on the careers of real-life conjoined twins Violet and Daisy Hilton. The duo became Vaudeville sensations in the Depression Era, and even went on to star in two Hollywood movies—the most famous being the shocking 1932 Tod Browning (continued pg 33.)
From top left, clockwise: Hannah Zieser, Cassie Chilton, Colin Ross, Rhetta Mykeal, Matthew Harris, and Terre Steed. May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 31
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(...continued from pg. 31)
feature Freaks, now a cult favorite. The Hiltons’ stardom is a big reason the figure of speech “joined at the hip” is part of the American vernacular. But before Vaudeville, the Hilton girls spent their lives in a circus freak show, surrounded by bearded ladies, reptile men, fat ladies, cannibals, geeks, pinheads, snake charmers and more. The true challenge the sisters faced is the part of the story that makes the innerfreak in all of us ask: Who will love us just as we are? With beautiful music, cleverly simple lyrics and a cavalcade of freaks that Jerry Springer only wishes he could book, Side Show is sure to be a thought-provoking and exciting summer theatre experience in Phoenix, Arizona. Nearly Naked wants everybody to do what the opening song exhorts: Come look at the freaks!
From top: Tyler Hainlen, Isaac Dominique, & Bethany Lorentzen.
Side Show opens May 25 with a preview available on May 24, and runs for only 10 performances, until June 8. Tickets are available at NearlyNakedTheatre.org or by calling the Phoenix Theatre box office at 602254-2151. You won’t believe your eyes! Recommended for mature audiences only! Not for the weak, the faint of heart, the very young, squeamish, nursing or expectant mothers!
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Our Town Picture it. Grovers Corners. 1918. A young girl named Emily falls in love with George, and remembers the red letter days of her life. Joe Crowell delivers the paper. Howie Newsome is the milkman. By Act III they’re all dead. Performed for years by high schools across America, Thornton Wilder’s brilliant 1938 war-horse comes to life (so to speak!) at the Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. For tix call 602-254-2151 or go to PhoenixTheatre.com. You might say that people are dying to see it!
Aziz Ansari You might know this zany comedian as the underachieving, entrepreneurial government wonk, “Tom Haverford,” in the hilarious NBC comedy, “Parks and Recreation.” He brings his unique, sarcastic brand of humor here to Phoenix with his “Buried Alive” tour on Sunday, May 5 to the Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. For tix go to TicketMaster.com or call 602-379-2888
Side Show Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step right up! See the Tony award winning musical based on the lives of Daisy and Violet Hilton, conjoined twins who were famous for their stage act in the 1930s. This fantastic, carnival-esque “freak show” has a cult status, and you can see it live, in front of your very eyes, live! at the Nearly Naked Theatre, May 24 - June 8 at 10 E. McDowell Rd. For tix call 602-254-2151 or go to PhoenixTheatre.com
May 2013 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 1-19 Our Town Phoenix Theatre 2-19 Clybourne Park Arizona Theatre Co. 3 Gabriel Iglesias Talking Stick Resort 3-19 Woman and Girl Space 55 Theatre 3-4 David Spade StandUp LIVE - Phx 5 Aziz Ansari Comerica Theatre 10 Kakaloka Comedy Tour Wild Horse Pass 10-12 Heather McDonald StandUp LIVE - Phx thru 11 Chicks with Dicks Stray Cat Theatre thru 11 Legally Blonde Scotts. Desert Stages Theatre 16-19 DeRau Davis StandUp LIVE - Phx 18-6/19 Sideshow Nearly Naked Theatre thru 19 The Foreigner Scotts. Desert Stages Theater 24-16 Paul Rodriguez StandUp LIVE - Phx 24-6/8 T Bone ‘n’ Weasel iTheatre Collaborative 31-6/16 Noises Off Mesa Encore Theatre
PHONE 602-254-6151 602-256-6995 800-745-3000 602-663-4032 480-719-1600 602-379-2888 800-946-4452 480-719-1600 480-634-6435 480-483-1664 480-719-1600 602-254-2151 480-483-1664 480-719-1600 602-347-1071 480-644-6500
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“8” Features Who’s Who for Equality
A
The social and political climate heats up when America awaits the ruling of the Supreme Court of the United States about the constitutionality of California’s Prop. 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) later this summer.
B
Academy Award-winning playwright Dustin Lance Black (Milk and J. Edgar) (A) wrote about the controversial issue titled “8.” The script is based on the actual words of the trial transcripts, first-hand observations of the courtroom drama and interviews with plaintiffs and their families.
C
D
This special staged reading event is onenight only and produced by the Arizona Theatre Company at the Herberger Theatre Center. “People need to witness what happened in the Proposition 8 trial, if for no other reason than to see inequality and discrimination unequivocally rejected in a court of law where truth and facts matter,” Black said. “The goal of ‘8’ is to show the world that marriage equality is a basic constitutional right.” There will be a brief discussion between Black, others and the audience about the issues presented in the trial.
An impressive roll call of high profile names from the national and Arizona landscape make up the cast. Arizona State Sen. Jack Jackson, Jr., (B) Phoenix City Council member Tom Simplot (C), RV and radio personality Pat McMahon, former Arizona Attorney General Grant Woods, AIDS Memorial Quilt creator and former Phoenician Cleve Jones and — surprise!—Cindy McCain (D) who openly opposes her conservative husband U.S. Sen. John McCain’s position on marriage equality. “I am very proud to bring ‘8’ to Arizona. The story of Proposition 8 has impact far beyond California; we’ll know in June the ruling of the US Supreme Court. I hope everyone will be with us for this entertaining and informative evening,” said, former Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano, the San Francisco AIDS Foundation Chief Executive Officer and the executive producer of “8.” “8” is Tuesday, May 7 at 7:30 p.m. at the Herberger Theatre Center, 222 E. Monroe St. Tickets are $50 and $35 and available through the Arizona Theatre Company at ArizonaTheatre.org or visit Ticketmaster at TicketMaster. com or call 800-745-3000. May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 37
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Jessica Wild at Carnaval Latino ¡Escandalo! RuPaul’s Drag Race fan favorite Jessica Wild brings her untamed, Puerto Rican drag realness to town when she lights up the stage at Karamba for Carnaval Latino during Memorial Day Weekend. Catch Jessica’s wild, electrifying performance Sunday night, May 26. You might even win free tickets to Pitbull! It all happens at Karamba, 1724 E. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix. 602-254-0231
MAY 2013 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Sun 5 10:30pm Karamba Cinco de Mayo with Diamond Fri 10 10:00pm The Rock Juke Joint Sun 19 8:00pm The Rock Miss Arizona Entertainer of the Year Pageant Sun 19 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s 8th Anniversary Thurs 16 10:30pm Karamba Ruby Reynolds 3rd Anniversary Turs 23 10:30pm Karamba Britney Spears Tribute Fri 24 10:00pm The Rock Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Sun 26 Karamba Jessica Wild at Carnaval Latino Mon 27 11:00am IBT’s Monday Morning Madness with Janee, DiVa, China & BunnyFuFu Mon 27 3:00pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot’s 13th Annual Memorial Day Show Wed 29 10:30pm Karamba Karamba Drag Diva Finale Fri 31 10:00pm The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue WEEKLY SHOWS Mondays BS West Kiki Andrews in Have It Your Way Mondays Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La Diva with Janee Star Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Montiel Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Thursdays 10:00pm Amsterdam DRAG IS BACK! Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th The Barbra Seville Show Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Celia Putty Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s Show May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 39
MISS GAY WESTERN STATES
TEMPE CENTER FOR THE ARTS
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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ! What’s New? The National
– Trouble Will Find Me These moody indie rockers are about to continue where their album High Violet left off. After making critic’s top 10 lists in 2010, this melancholy, yet insightful band is feeling comfort in this newly found fame. Overall, the album is lush, ethereal and stirring with dark undertones that sound very uplifting. First single “Demons” comes off as almost chipper, yet still very much in the realms of vocalist Matt Berninger’s baritone. “Humiliation” shows a more harmonious side and gets backed by a riveting and hypnotic piano riff. Then there are the chilling “Heavenfaced” and “Fireproof” that solidify this band’s reason to be noticed. GRADE: A-
Jessie Ware
– Devotion As tweeted by Katy Perry; “This lil’ lady is going to be MASSIVE.” Already a success in her homeland, the UK, Jessie is an artist that brings the listener back to what it’s supposed to be about— no fanfare, no frills; just plain brilliant music. Title track “Devotion” proves a bit tame with its lack of a pulse, but the rest of the album shines incredibly. “Wildest Moments” and “Running” just ooze with a level of sophistication we haven’t heard since Sade. “If You’re Never” is this set’s standout with its soulful, pseudo drumn-bass sound. But to call one song the standout is a truly a disservice. This will end up on many top ten lists for 2013 for sure. GRADE: A
May 2013
Soundtrack – The Great Gatsby As butter is to bread, music to a Baz Luhrman film is just as important to its central core. And this soundtrack may end up being one of the best ever. Props to executive producer Jay Z for gathering a diverse group and making it flow naturally. As expected, it’s the brilliantly twisted Amy Winehouse cover by Beyoncé and André 3000 that garners much attention here. But don’t miss out on Lana Del Rey’s haunting Young & Beautiful” and Florence’s “Over the Love” with their passionate, powerful vocals. Find other amazing support from Gotye, Jack White, Emeli Sandé, Sia and the xx. GRADE: AIn other music news, Mariah Carey is in the final stages of her fourteenth studio album and promises a collection of music that’s soulful and true to her integrity. Initially scheduled for late 2012, much is riding on this comeback of sorts, since it’s been four years since her last album and eight since her last “successful” effort. With contributors that include Randy Jackson, R. Kelly, D Morales, W. Afanasieff and The Dream (among others), no doubt this should create a stir! Look for this to drop soon. Look forward to more new stuff from: Daft Punk, Lady Antebellum, Rod Stewart, Vampire Weekend, Amy Grant, Demi Lovato, ABBA vocalist Agnetha Faltskog and resurrected boy band 98 degrees. www.IONAZ.com 41
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Tony Bennett Crooner extraordinaire, Bennett’s signature “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” still tugs at your heartstrings. Not just someone your grandparents listen to, Tony was rediscovered by budding hipsters and MTV, singing with Amy Winehouse and even Gaga. Don’t miss him on Sunday, May 19 at the Tori Amphitheatre at the Casino del Sol, 5655 W. Valencia Rd. in Tucson. Call 800-344-9435 for tickets.
Taylor Swift America’s “Fearless” little Country-Pop-Rock serial dating songbird counts Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer and even One Direction’s Harry Styles as exes. Sometimes she writes songs about them, too, after they break up. You might hear some of them on Tues.-Weds., May 28 & 29 at Jobing.com Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. For tix call 800-745-300 or go to TicketMaster.com
Fleetwood Mac The legendary group’s first reunion (well, minus the disgruntled Christie McVie anyway) tour in three years (which means they must need money) featuring Arcadia High School alum warbler Stevie Nicks prove they can still rock out on Thursday, May 30 so “Go Your Own Way” to the US Airways Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. For tix call 800-745-3000 or visit TicketMaster.com
May 2013 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST LOCATION 1 Prince Marquee Theatre 6 Yo La Tengo Rialto Theatre - Tucson 8 Manhattan Transfer Fox Theatre - Tucson 16 Miranda Lambert Desert Sky Pavilion 17 Il Divo Casino del Sol - Tucson 18 Huey Lewis & the News Wild Horse Pass 19 Tony Bennett Casino del Sol - Tucson 23 LL Cool J, Ice Cube... Casino del Sol - Tucson 25 Celtic Woman Wild Horse Pass 26 Limp Bizkit Marquee Theatre 28 - 29 Taylor Swift Jobing.com Arena 30 Fleetwood Mac US Airways Center 30 Marilyn Manson Marquee Theatre 31 Scott Weiland Talking Stick Resort 31 Cheap Trick Wild Horse Pass JUNE 1 Dionne Warwicke Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts
PHONE 480-829-0707 520-740-1000 520-547-3040 866-284 7364 800-344-9435 877-840-0457 800-344-9435 800-344-9435 877-840-0457 480-829-0707 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 480-829-0707 800-745-3000 877-840-0457 480-499-TKTS
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Grand Canyon Performing Arts Presents
Phoenix MetroPolitAn Men’s Chorus
2013 sPrinG ConCert MAy 3rd 8PM MAy 4th 7PM MAy 5th 2PM Featuring
John PAul theAtre Phoenix ColleGe $23 Adult | $18 senior | $10 Children
PhoenixMensChorus.orG
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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
Iron Man 3 Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce Robert Downey, Jr. returns as billionaire entrepreneur, Tony Stark/Iron Man, one of Marvel Comics’ few superheroes whose only real “superpower” is a rare combination of intelligence and financial resources that make his feats possible. Despondent after the events featured in The Avengers, he’s holed himself away in his mansion obsessively building Iron Man suits until a rash of inexplicable bombings by the terrorist group Mandarin hit too close to home. Now he must either grab life by the Palladium arc reactor and set his course right, or risk losing everything. Release Date: May 3
Star Trek: Into Darkness Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana In this sequel to J. J. Abrams’ 2009 reboot, the crew of the USS Enterprise returns to Earth only to find that a formidable foe has attacked Starfleet and
thrust their home into chaos. Captain James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) and the crew of the Enterprise are tasked with finding the culprit and bringing them to justice. Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, and Zoe Saldana return as Spock, Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, and Nyota Uhura, respectively. Release Date: May 17
Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s Starring: William Fichtner, Mary Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Karl Lagerfeld, Oscar de la Renta Founded in 1899, Bergdorf Goodman is a luxury department store on Fifth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan that has been just as influential on the world of fashion as the fashion designers itself. Renowned for its stunning window displays, the one-of-a-kind New York institution has been the touchstone for countless fashion designers and their equally eccentric fashionista fans. In this documentary we venture behind-the-scenes to see exactly what makes this glamourous machine work. Release Date: May 3
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
Kids, I think
it’s time you knew “How I Met Your Mother.” Haaaave you met Ted? The year is 2030 and Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) is telling his kids how he met their mother. Flashback to 2005 in MacLaren’s Pub and we meet the gang. Lily Aldren, (Alyson Hannigan from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) and her environmental lawyer husband Marshall Ericson (Jason Segel) along with the womanizer, Barney “Suit up!” Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) and Robin Scherbatsky (Colbie Smolders), the former Canadian teenage popstar “Robin Sparkles.” Ted instantly falls in love with Robin. After a successful first date and the introduction of the blue French horn, (since flowers are overrated) Ted admits to Robin that he is falling in love (see “The Ted Mosby” from Barney’s fabled “Playbook.”) But, um... Robin puts a halt to it, because who wants a “clinger”? In every predictable show couples always end up together, but as this series plays so well, Future Ted (voiced over by “Full House” dad Bob Saget) tells us that Robin isn’t the mother, but actually “Aunt Robin.” This is what makes the sitcom so great; it gives spoilers in such a subtle way that later you know what to expect but you’re still surprised. The writers are clearly fans of the show because when it comes to flashbacks and flash forwards, paying attention to detail to hairstyles and costumes. Throughout eight seasons we’ve seen Ted
date and get engaged to the wrong girl—and that seems to be Barney’s problem, too. And he’s awesome! As someone who started off with humping anything with a Pikachu down there it was inevitable to see him finally settle down and that seems to be with Robin. If you want ideas on how to propose, see “The Robin” in Barney’s Playbook. Would I say, “Let’s go to the mall!” and get them a wedding present? No, but a ducky tie would be a nice back-up. Now our “Slap Bet” Commissioner Lily and “Slap Giver” Marshall have gone through the stages of married life and having a son, though it didn’t come easy. They’re one of my favorite couples on TV because you know it’s true love when you have a Farting Contest with your sig-o and still high five. Watching “HIMYM” has turned into huge a guessing game about whom will eventually be named as Future Ted’s wife to the point where I need an intervention with my obsession to find the yellow umbrella wielding mother—not to mention following the guest stars from the Joss Whedon TV Universe. There have been at least nine guest stars that have been from Whedon’s work, including Buffy, Angel, Firefly and more. There will be a ninth and final season coming this fall and it’ll be “Legen- wait for it ... dary!” But we’ll get to that. Seasons 1-7 are on Netflix and the Season 8 finale airs on CBS May 13th. May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 47
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The Guilt Trip Starring: Barbra Streisand, Seth Rogen When fledgling entrepreneur Andy Brewster (Rogen) learns that an old flame of his widowed mother, Joyce (Streisand), lives in San Francisco, he invites her on his cross-country road trip under the auspices of providing moral support as he attempts to sell his new, environmentally friendly cleaning product. As is wont to happen in pretty much every road trip movie, they take a journey together—literally and figuratively—in which they both realize that some of the assumptions they hold about each other aren’t truly accurate. I know, I know… I saw you roll your eyes before your mouth even twitched. The Guilt Trip is undeniably formulaic, and Seth Rogen is, well, Seth Rogen—but The Barbra, who was so talented that they had her playing a 40-year-old matchmaking widow in Hello, Dolly when she was only 25, is an utter delight. Sure, this film isn’t going to get an Oscar, but it’s sweet and sometimes that’s all we need. Packed with bonus features, deleted scenes and a gag reel. A great Mother’s Day gift! Available on Blu-ray and DVD.
Broadway Damage Starring: Mara Hobel, Michael Shawn Lucas, Aaron Williams This anniversary reissue of 1997 romantic-dramedy is essentially the Reality Bites for the GLBTQ crowd of the late 20th century. Broadway Damage is about three friends— Cynthia (Hobel, the little “Christina Crawford” from the 1981 howler Mommie Dearest all grown up in an over-the-top performance), Robert (Williams) and Marc (Lucas)—who spend their days looking to break into their desired careers and their nights trying to find love. After finding an apartment together in Greenwich Village, Marc, an aspiring actor, begins a tumultuous relationship with his neighbor across the airshaft who begs for 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon to jump on screen and say, “That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!” Meanwhile, Robert, an aspiring songwriter, quietly pines for Marc but is unable to make his affections known, while their—for lack of a better word—kooky gal pal, Cynthia, harangues fabled Vanity Fair and New Yorker magazine editor Tina Brown for a job in publishing despite lacking any experience. All about the “Grand Gesture,” it’s not a bad little movie; quirky, touching and charming, there’s something dated about it—after all, it is 15-years-old. Available on Blu-ray.
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haven’t heard the exclamation, “Gadzooks!” since watching an English drawing room comedy on TCM during Alec Guinness Week or something equally British and old timey. It’s a great exclamation. Like, “Zounds!” or “Sacré Bleu!” or “Bollocks!” Things Americans don’t say. We usually just say the “F” word. So when we checked out the newly renovated and freshly opened “Gadzooks: Enchiladas & Soup” in a 40-year-old building that was originally a filling station, then Miriam’s Designer Clothes (FYI: Miriam was not on Project Runway), we naturally said, “Gadzooks! There’s a new restaurant in town!” When we tried it out, we said, “The F-word! These are darn good!” Dang! I mean, who doesn’t love a great enchilada, right? We feel a little territorial about things like enchiladas here in the Southwest, too, because we do them so well. Cincinnati may have its Skyline Chili. New Orleans has its jambalaya. Coney Island has its hot dogs. We’ve got amazing Mexican food here. Oy! So when cute, scruffy, friendly owner Aaron Pool graduated from ASU he followed his dream: he opened an ‘Enchiladeria,’ let’s call it. But Aaron’s vision is unique: you can customize what’s really a genuinely handmade enchilada with a variety of fillings, toppings, sauces and condiments. When Aaron had this, “A ha!” moment he said, “Gadzooks!” The rest, as they say, is history.
Gadzooks the friendly assembly line where someone like the totes adorbs inky Eric will help you navigate your way through ‘Lada Land. You’ll see the fresh tortillas being pressed right before your very eyes. Choose either corn or the half ‘n’ half corn & flour tortilla. They’re thick, fluffy; big on texture and taste. If you’re not in an enchilada mood, try a street taco. You’ll get two of either, and stuff ‘em with something like Roasted Tomatillo Chicken, Green Chile Pork Shoulder, Guajillo Braised Short Ribs, the melt-in-your-mouth Modelo Braised Bison, or other succulent stuffings. I happen to be a fan of the Sauteed Spinach Mushroom, too. Aaron’s up with the “pollos” preparing the succulent viands at 4 a.m. No kidding! Boo-ya! Smother it! Pick your sauce, pardner! Red, Green or “Christmas” style with both. They pop these comidas into a stone oven, and you get it piping hot. Zoinks! You’ve also got time to add salsa— and they’ve got four to choose from. Mix ‘n’ match! Top it with scratch-made crema (a smooth, Mexican sour cream), cotija cheese, a crunchy, crisp cole slaw (we think it’s fierce) and for a dollar more add sharp
Gosh! Once you enter Aaron’s clean, bright, airy “enchiladeria” you’ll see the menu posted above May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 51
& creamy goat cheese, a griddle-fried egg or hand-smashed guacamole that’s already rumored to be gaining a tasty reputation. Through the miracle of math, they’ve determined that there are 2,638,594 different combinations available. You won’t get bored, believe me. You can even get a box of six enchiladas or tacos for $15 each to perk up your party. Talk about a bargain! ¡Ay karamba! Now you’ve got yourself a pair of fine enchiladas or tacos, señors y señoritas! A pair is right around the $6.75 mark and you can add a third for only $2 more. Hey! Prefer something lighter”? Opt for a customizable, freshly chopped salad for $6.75. Feeling carnivorous? Add some meat for about two bits or so. Dang! Soup is given short-shrift here with only one to choose from. (We hoped the “soup” might be plural. It isn’t.) It’s a dilly, however. It’s Linda’s (that’s Aaron’s frequently on-site mom) who offers up a delicious housemade Tortilla Soup for $3.95. We can’t help but wish it came in a bowl, however, instead of a paper “to-go”style cup. ¡Olé! If you really want a fiesta, try their 7th Street Sangria, Osborn Oro Margarita for $4 each, or a cool cerveza. That means, “beer.” Currently “piped in,” we’re hoping they’ll start brewing their ice tea, soon. Hint, hint. Gadzooks! And that, amigos, is what they call, “the whole enchilada.” You might even say the “F” word after you try ‘em. GADZOOKS 3313 N. 7th St. 602-279-5080 GadzooksAZ.com 52
www.IONAZ.com May 2013
Lunch. Dinner. Late Night. Weekend Brunch. Online Reservations @ blissonfourth.com • 602.795.1792 blissrebar
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Photography -Â allenzaki.com Creative Direction - Timoteo Ocampo and Joel Johnston Model - Stephen Deller Swim and underwear by Timoteo
Backyard
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Come see what we’re all about with one month of fRee SWImmInG! Visit us online for swim locations, swim times and to find out more about the Sunfish.
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Saturday, June 8, 2013, 6pm Sheraton Phoenix Downtown 340 North 3rd Street Phoenix, Arizona 85004 Gala VIP Tables: $650.00 Gala Seats: $65.00 per person
Bid farewell to Brandi Sokolosky and welcome the new Executive Director, Justin Owen!
Order tickets or your VIP Table at: www.pride-gala.org Benefitting The Phoenix Pride Scholarship Program www.phoenixpride.org
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Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS invites you to
Illuminating the Path Night for Life 2013
A beautiful, spectacular and entertaining evening under the moonlit sky.
Presented by Richard P. Stahl Saturday, May 11, 2013 Montelucia Resort & Spa 4949 East Lincoln Drive Scottsdale, Arizona Evening Spotlights 6:00 PM Silent Auction Cocktail Reception 7:30 PM Dinner and Program 8:30 PM JAMM Band Bally’s Las Vegas Black Tie
For Information and Tickets Visit swhiv.org or Call 602.307.5330 x 2241 Book your Night for Life room at montelucia.com and receive 62
15%2013 off by using promo code MONCAT in the PROMOTIONS tab www.IONAZ.com May
Bob1938-2013 Hegyi We celebrate a life well-lived when we remember the strength, guidance, championship and the zest for living of our friend, Bob Hegyi. An Air Force veteran and an early and outspoken pioneer for Phoenix’s budding GLBTQ community, Bob operated the first Gay Community Switchboard in the early ‘80s. A true lion, Bob helped found an AIDS resource clearinghouse in the early days of the crisis. Among his many accomplishments he also received the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Living The Dream Award from the City of Phoenix. His cheerful face was at the front desk at the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS and earned ION Arizona’s Prismatic Pride Award as “2012 Volunteer of the Year.” A beloved fixture on the best dance floors, Bob was a familiar sight with his tambourine, finger cymbals or fan. A treasured landmark, Bob was much loved by his partner, the self-described “Lighthouse Keeper” Mel Reese, his son, Chris and everyone who knew him. We like to picture Bob still dancing.
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Photography - Scotty Kirby | Art Direction - Kevin Bushaw Styling provided by Par Exsalonce CityScape Alfonso Gonzales, Owner | Jon Lively | Kyle Tuttle Production Assistance - Chance Gullon, Chris Phillips, Keith Lipman & Randy Eddlemon Models - Scottie & Zach from Dick’s, Elie G., Cory K., Roy B. & Christian M. Promotional Consideration by TU Collection - 4700 N. Central Ave. Ste. 116, Phoenix Macy’s Biltmore - 2410 E. Camelback Rd., Phoenix Thanks to Ben Bethel and John Creamer at The Clarendon Hotel 401 W Clarendon Ave, Phoenix (602) 252-7363 May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 65
Christian is wearing a Diesel Box-Cut available at Macy’s Biltmore. Ray Ban Eyewear available at TU Collection.
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Zach and Scottie are wearing swim-briefs from ES available at TU Collection May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 67
Elie is wearing an I•N•C Beach Cover-up available at Macys, and Diesel Eyewear from TU Collection. Opposite Page - Scottie, Christian & Roy are all wearing ES available at TU Collection 68
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Cory & Roy wearing ES & Ray Ban, available at TU Collection May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 71
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Elie in Swimwear available at TU Collection. May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 73
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Enjoy the best of Arizona at the award-winning Clarendon. Daily pool passes are available, including towel rental, bottled water and Otter Pop service. Relax in their luxurious, new cabanas. Each one features 100 sf of the largest and most sumptuous in the state, and loaded with lots of amenities. The Clarendon’s cabanas are waiting for you. Check out GoClarendon.com and book your stay. Tell ‘em ION sent you.
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Vol. 7, Issue 4
May 2013
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Famous Diary’s Lost Page Found OUTRAGEOUS!
AMSTERDAM— The outgoing girl who adored Deanna Durbin musicals was like any other teenage girl. She loved practical jokes, games—and, yes, boys, too. Anne Frank is famous for her intimate diary, where she penned her private thoughts from 1942 until 1944, while the Franks were hiding in the Secret Annex at Prinsengracht 267 in Amsterdam during the Nazi Occupation.
Bieber’s outrageous remark sparked controversy worldwide. However, recent scholarship and research of the famous diary reveals a never before seen page exposing more about the doomed girl who wrote, “Ich bin eine ‘Belieber!’” with all of the i’s dotted with hearts and the lyrics, “Baby, baby, baby oooh! I thought you’d always be mine!” written in the margin next to a drawing of a horsey.
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TOforTHE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL Frank’s insight is an inspiration the millions who have read her diary around the world. Her brave story is the subject of movies, Cliff’s Notes and book reports.
Canadian pop music heartthrob Justin Bieber toured the museum last month. Bieber, a Canadian, paused to sign the guestbook: “Anne was a great girl. Hopefully, she would have been a Belieber,” he scribbled, referring to the nickname for his most devoted fans.
“We’re surprised,” said the museum’s curator. “Anne continues to astonish us with her pluck and remarkable prescience. When she wrote, ‘We’re gonna party like it’s 3012 tonight, when the music makes you move, baby like you do.’ it makes you wonder if she knew something about the future. And Canadians.”
OUTRAGEOUS!
Justin Bieber, who is Canadian, had no comment.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 85
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OUTRAGEOUS! Car Freshener Deforestation Disaster Looms OUTRAGEOUS!
WATERTOWN, New York—For over 60 years Car-Freshner has produced the familiar little pine trees you see dangling from rearview mirrors ANY RESEMBLANCE in automobiles across America and in Europe.
OUTRAGEOUS!
“Stinky Car” effect that is diminishing the ozone layer.
The once lush Little Tree forests that stretched as TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL far as the eye could see are dwindling to mere toothpicks that may never However, decades reach maturity of harvesting the and hang in manufacturer’s a 1977 Buick Little Tree forests Regal or a 1981 of carefully Chrysler New cultivated saplings Yorker reeking has taken a toll on of Cherry Kiss, the tiny, little pine Vanilla Spice, tree “nurseries” Tropical Shores in America and or any other of Europe. This is ANY RESEMBLANCE TOTO THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL the 50 eye-watering scents sold in the U.S.A. resulting in an ecological disaster that will alter and in Europe. the landscape for decades. These miniature pine forests cannot sustain the wholesale deforestation “It’s hard to believe that one day we’ll have that supplies the increasing demand to keep cars to tell our grandchildren that we once lived smelling weird and funky. in a world where little cardboard pine trees practically grew in cars,” said one “paper tree “This is a calamity of such enormous proportions hugger.” it’ll make the BP Gulf Oil Spill look like a drop of Wesson in a swimming pool,” said one anonymous source at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. This will only add to the
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
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by Addison DeWitt
F
riends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your ears! Well, okay, lend me your eyes at least. You don’t even have to be Roman. If you’ve been longing for the good ol’ days when all this country needed was a good 5¢ cigar, a chicken in every pot and a car in every driveway, no doubt you were excited to see presidential candidate Mike Che$worth out and about pressing the flesh, kissing hands and shaking babies as he campaigned, celebrating his 35th birthday—the age delimiter for a candidate for POTUS. Who cares about stupid things like “sequester” and “balanced budgets” when you can win your very own music video or a reality show pilot (because all of your little friends on Facebook think you’re so interesting and say, “Ohmygod! You should have your own reality show!” Right? That’s because they’re your friends, sweetie.) Just log on to videographer MikeChesworth.com’s site and cast your vote, patriots! I did! And pay no attention to that beautiful, shiny, new Mustang sitting in my carport at the WonderVu Trailer Court for mentioning this. “Bribe” is such an ugly word. Che$worth’s Whistle Stop Tour included “stumping” (and I’m not talking about sex with with an amputee’s severed limb. And, yes, that’s a real “thing.” Look it up.
Ugh.) around town and concluding with a Victory Party at Charlie’s. In other news, what’s up with the new, tall, “Gay-for-Pay” stripper on the block who flinches whenever you touch him? Well, he certainly doesn’t flinch from a dollar bill, I’ll tell you that much. Listen, sweetheart, I heard about all the pictures on your cellphone of girls giving you a hummer. Did they give you a dollar? Lighten up. And take some dancing lessons. And at least wear a rubber, fer chrissakes.
?
And, yikes! From the “It came from Facebook!” Files: did I read that one of our local drag queens whose name closely resembles a burrito from Filiberto’s, Julioberto’s, Eriberto’s—or any one of the “hermanos -‘berto’s,”—recently had a restraining order slapped on him? Well, yes, chickens. I did read that on Facebook. On his page, as a matter of fact. It was a rhetorical question, really. So it’s pretty much public record. We can’t help but wonder what that was all about! Personally, I find it shocking that a drag queen’s—or any Gay man’s life, for that matter—would be filled with that much drama! Well, Lesbians, yes. Gay men, absolutely not. Shocking! So shock me some more. It’s gonna be a long, hot summer.
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The waxing and the waning of the Moon
affects every sign this month. Scorpios get bitchier. Gemini get crazier. Taurans are even more stubborn. Aquarians are hornier—if that’s possible. The Moon makes everybody a little looney. Wax on; wax off.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
A panic in the palace is really just a mountain out of a molehill. You’ll be putting out fires at work and at home—but you’ve got a fire down below that’s being kindled by a smoldering spark. Burn, baby, burn!
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
Feeling dirty? The Eta Aquarids Meteor Shower on night of the 4th will scrub you clean—mentally and spiritually speaking. You’ll still have to take a real bath with soap and water to get the stink off. If it’s your birthday, a bath with a stranger is extra fun.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Conjunction of Venus and Jupiter on the 28th bodes well. If you’re asking, “Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?” look to the west to see these two planets doin’ it “raw dog.” Gotta birthday? A slap-happy Cappy just might want to “do it,” with you—in front of a mirror.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
Your gregarious, people-person ways are going full tilt. Around the 18th with the First Quarter Moon you turn into a human magnet. Nobody will be able to resist your charms. Nobody. But bring $20 cash just in case somebody does resist them.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
You’re forced to reexamine a relationship mid-month. It might be with a loved one, or a business associate. It’s important to compromise—as long as you get your own way. You usually do. At least act like you’re compromising.
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Mercury’s superior conjunction on the 11th gives you an inferiority complex. Don’t
worry! You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. And doggone it, people like you! Well, most people do. But haters gonna hate anyway.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
The revelation of a closely guarded secret surprises you. This newly exposed truth works to your advantage. You learn someone is guilty but don’t hold them an emotional hostage—unless it’s your ex. Then it’s absolutely okay.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
Your legs are like butter—and easy to spread. You’re fresh ‘n’ sleazy bed hopping ways are likely to give you a reputation. Who cares! You’re a vamp, a tramp and a bit of a scamp. That’s why we love you. Well, everybody loves you. Obviously.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
You. Get up. Go look in the mirror. Now. See that sexy person staring back at you? That sexy mo’fo’ is you! You! Your selfesteem is waning when the Moon is full on the 28th. Stupid Moon. Go shopping! Go dancing! Anything! You’ll feel better.
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Typically you’re pragmatic and proper. Okay, some might say, “boring.” This month unleash that wild, insatiable beast you keep under lock and key deep inside. You’ll shock others. You’ll shock yourself. And you’ll like it.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
Your libido goes unchecked all month long. Your Casanova-like ways enchant everybody—right into the bedroom. Be careful! Someone develops a “Fatal Attraction” to you. Hide the knives.
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Your natural instinct is to procrastinate. Don’t put off ‘til tomorrow what you can postpone ‘til the day after tomorrow. You’ll quickly discover that “mañana” comes sooner than you think, amigo. Take a nap and think it over. Later. May 2013 www.IONAZ.com 97
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