57,18 by Spotlight Magazine

THIS ISSUES

CONTENTS

The Many Faces of: Jeff Goldblum EDITORIAL BY Scott Cowan

photographed by:

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

To know, or To NOT know? That will be the question!

SpotLight Magazine Special Columnist Teri-Anne Bowyer

ARE YOU MENTALLY READY FOR WEIGHT-GAIN SEASON? Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your strategy? Master Coach Columnist Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas

Freedom Redefined?

POLITICS Columnist Brent Dunstan

18 How to make your Divorce Proceedings take forever. LAW Columnist Scott Stenbeck

Identity Politics, It Will Ruin Us POLITICS and LIFE MUSINGS Columnist Teri-Anne Bowyer

23 The Fashion Files The Gainsboro Spotlight presents: Designer Sheri Autry with her Spring/Summer ‘18 collec tion called Enchanted Goddesses collection

“When Friends Aren’t Enough” Columnist Dr.Wendy Froberg Psy. D.,R.Psych Clinical Psychologist

40 Golf Simplified getting into the Scoring Zone Golf Columnist Donald Crawley

Failure is Temporary EDITORIAL Scott Cowan Returning to the Gold standard

The SpotLight Map of Summer Music Festival

The Gainsboro Spotlight presents:

We had our reporter at Coachella Valley Music and arts Festival last year.

S C O T T C O W A N ( 4 0 3 ) 5 0 4 - 7 0 9 2

editor-in-chief

J O A N

B A T E M A N

art director

H E A T H E R

C O O N S

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S O C I A L

M E D I A

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E M A I L S SpotLight Magazine

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scott-cowan@live.com Art Director

E D I T O R I A L C O N T R I B U T O R S Scott Cowan Scott Stenbeck Brent Dunstan Donald Crawley Wendy Froberg N a t h a l i e Pl a m o n d o n -Th o m a Teri-Anne Bowyer

joan@gainsboro.ca Creative Designer

design_gal@outlook.com

P H O T O G R A P H Y C O R R E S P O N D E N T Joan Bateman Bruce Herlitschek

Magazine ~ Published and Printed ~ SpotLight Magazine

FOR A COMPLIMENTARY SUBSCRIPTION TO SPOTLIGHT, FORWARD YOUR EMAIL TO : SPOTLIGHTMAGAZINE@SHAW.COM Disclaimer: No responsibility can be taken by SpotLight Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein. Furthermore, responsibility for any losses, damages or distress resulting from adherence to any information made available through this magazine is not the responsibility of SpotLight Magazine. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of SpotLight Magazine. Comments are welcome.

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THE CARLYLE, A ROSEWOOD HOTEL ANNOUNCES WINTER/ SUNDAY NIGHT RESIDENCIES AT BEMELMANS BAR

ollow The Carlyle Hotel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. At Bemelmans Bar.

BLAKE ZIDELL & ASSOCIATES

he Carlyle, a Rosewood Hotel, is pleased to welcome back Jim Caruso & Billy Stritch to Bemelmans Bar for Sunday night residencies throughout the winter/spring 2017 season. Featuring top artists from the worlds of jazz, cabaret and Broadway alongside special unannounced guests. Sunday nights at Bemelmans Bar have become a favorite spot for a wide range of performing musicians across the city. Additionally, the classic watering hole has drawn crowds consisting of socialites, politicians, movie stars, and moguls for more than five decades.

performing extensively on their own, Caruso and Stritch—who are best friends—gained national exposure together as the host and musical director of the wildly popular, recurring open mic event Cast Party. Stephen Holden, in The New York Times, called a Cast Party event in the Lincoln Center American Songbook series “a welcoming oasis of traditional show business bonhomie”—a description that perfectly captures the spirit of the duo’s Bemelmans residency. The pair will be at Bemelmans on March 5, March 12, March 19, April 2, April 9, April 16, April 23 and April 30.

im Caruso & Billy Stritch’s upcoming performances will build upon their recent run of shows in the intimate, storied New York City lounge. Favorites not only of music fans and critics, but also of fellow artists. The duo recently added dozens of songs made famous by Frank Sinatra to their repertoire. Thanks to their current national tour of The Sinatra Century. Their shows provide a place where some of the city’s foremost entertainers go to commune with their own—and sometimes sit-in for a song or two—on their nights off. To be sure, Caruso and Stritch are exceptional musicians in their own right. In a recent New York Observer review, Rex Reed described their Bemelmans show as “a nimble, nonstop, musical show-business bonanza. With as much rhythm and class as the feet of Fred Astaire.”

emelmans Bar is located in The Carlyle, A Rosewood Hotel (35 East 76th Street @ Madison Avenue.) Bar seating is $15 per person, and table seating is $25 per person. Reservations not accepted; tables available on a first-come, first-serve basis. For additional information, visit www.thecarlyle.com.

favorite neighborhood bar of Upper East Siders and visitors alike. Bemelmans Bar at The Carlyle is a special hideaway where artist and author Ludwig Bemelmans’ whimsical drawings come to life. Best remembered for his beloved Madeline series of classic children’s books, Bemelmans was commissioned in 1947 to paint the large-scale murals to depict all four seasons in famed Central Park. Featuring the only surviving Bemelmans’ commission open to the public, the bar combines wit and coziness in unique New York style.

estored in 2002 by designer Thierry Despont, the bar maintains its Art Deco legacy with chocolate-brown leather banquettes, nickel-trimmed black glass tabletops, a dramatic black granite bar and a 24-karat gold leaf-covered ceiling. Open year round with live music every evening, regular performers include favorites such as Chris Gillespie, Earl Rose, Loston Harris, David Budway, Jim Caruso and Billy Stritch. Named in honor of the legendary artist, Bemelmans is a classic New York watering hole that has drawn socialites, politicians, movie stars and moguls for more than five decades. For more information, please contact Blake Zidell, Ron Gaskill or Matt Gross at Blake Zidell & Associates, 718.643.9052, blake@ blakezidell.com, ron@blakezidell.com or matt@blakezidell.com.

ut part of the fun is experiencing Caruso and Stritch’s impromptu collaborations with the showbiz heavy-hitters who turn up; recent guest appearances at Bemelmans have included Liza Minnelli, Michael Feinstein, Bono, Marilyn Maye, Tony Danza, Jane Monheit and Linda Lavin. In addition to

Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

The Many Faces of: T

he Calgary Comic Expo hosted a star studded cast of guests including the great actor Jeff Goldblum. We were lucky to get a few words with him, and cover his talk back. His father was a doctor, and his mother a radio broadcaster. He grew up watching sci-fi and monster movies like “I Was a Teenage Werewolf.”(1957) He began his career on Broadway at age seventeen. Possessing his own unique style of delivery, Goldblum made people notice him uttering a single line in Woody Allen's Annie Hall (1977). He studied acting at New York City’s prestigious Neighborhood Playhouse under the guidance of legendary acting coach Sanford Meisner. Goldblum went on to appear in the remake Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) and Ben Vereen Tenspeed and Brown Shoe before a high-profile role in the classic ensemble film The Big Chill (1983). This multi dimension able actor moved on to a film The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984), which became a 1980s cult classic. Then starred in the modern-day film noir Into the Night (1985), then went on to a breakthrough role in the David Cronenberg remake The Fly. (1986) The Fly also featured actress Geena Davis, Goldblum's wife from 1987-1990 and

Jeff Goldblum co-star in two additional films: Transylvania 6-5000(1985) and Julien Temple's Earth Girls Are Easy (1988). Goldblum seemingly fell into some of the biggest blockbusters of the 1990s: Steven Spielberg's dinosaur blockbuster Park (1993) and its sequel The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997). He moved on to the alien invasion film Independence Day (1996). He co-starred with Will Smith. More recently, roles have included critically acclaimed turns in Igby Goes Down (2002) and Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004). In 2009, he returned to television to star in his second crime series Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2001).Who can forget him in the remake of Godzilla, co-starring with Matthew Broderick? Jeff is the voice behind the iMac/ iBook commercials for Apple Computer. He is a skilled piano player in a jazz band called "The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra" with actor Peter Weller. They perform at local clubs in Los Angeles. As of 2017, he has appeared in 5 films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar. He is currently starring in an Irish commercial on RTE Television to promote the new and updated version of the Irish National Lottery.

He and wife Emilie Livingstone welcomed their second son, River Joe Goldblum, on April 7, 2017. I've been lucky, and thank goodness the (sci-fi films) I've done have been good movies. I feel like some kind of lucky star has, for now, shone on me. It's been fun, obviously if you want to be an actor you think, it's an amazing rare thing that you feel connected to people in a way you're not strangers. You're bumping into people and they go hey! It's you, and I'm glad to see you, and I love your work. That's a delicious wonderful thing for the most part. It gives you a sense of responsibility, so you consider,I can't misbehave without being talked about. You know people are going to say, "You know who was a real jerk today? Jeff Goldblum!" So you’ve got to be kind, but that's a good thing. If we all knew we were going to be reported about and couldn't be anonymous. That's not a bad thing, but sometimes you want to be private, and it can be embarrassing, or not so nice, but for the most part it's great.

To know, or To NOT know? That will be the question!

A Teri-Anne Bowyer Political and Life Musings teriannebowyer@gmail.com

AHOO!!!! Medicine Hat is also going to be home to one of the largest producers of Cannabis, and this will create 500 plus jobs. So…. you might as well become more familiar with today’s cannabis landscape.

t is not what it was in the 20th century, the landscape has changed, and we are going to have to educate ourselves on the current knowledge. This is going to be an introductory article in a series of articles that will explore what cannabis looks like in the 21st century. Where ever one lands on this issue- either for or against the product, the fact is, it is going to be legalized before the end of summer 2018. The best way to deal with that is to know what the landscape looks like, and learn about how, why, when, where and by whom it is being used and perceived across the cultural fabric.

little background- Whether you agree t CannabisCon, organized by the with the bill to Legalize Cannabis Cannabis Canada Forums in for recreational use or not, it looks like Edmonton on the weekend of April it will in fact pass the third reading in 13/14 2018 there were over 40 exhibitors, and over 30 speakers. the Senate on or before June 7, 2018. It Panelled discussion sessions were has already passed through the reheld continuously throughout the day, quired three readings in the Legislature. over the two day conference. The first Senate leaders have agreed to a day was geared towards business side legislative timetable that will lead to a of the industry, and the second day final vote on Bill C-45, legislation that towards the soon to be new and the would legalize and regulate the sale of seasoned consumer. Topics cannabis, on or before June 7. The third covered ranged from senate reading Cannabis 101- a is the second he landscape has changed, and we discussion about the to last step in are going to have to educate properties of the this bills path ourselves on the current knowledge. cannabis plant the to become difference between law. After the and the effects of THC Senate vs CBD, and other approves cannabinoids, newer consumption the bill at the third reading, it will then methods,business opportunities, be passed on for Royal Assent from our Governor General, and put into place as a economic development and dealing with cannabis in the workplace. No matter new law in our Country. After who one talked to exhibitor, panelists, Legalization has occurred, under the parameters set forth by each province you and attendees, the overriding concept that could be seen and heard in every are going to see new stores opening up discussion, was the need to educate, from to sell this newly legalized product. Each the consumer, entrepreneur, and other province has been given the authority by industry members. the federal government to set forth the parameters for retail distribution in their province. Thus, each province has been Educate? You ask??, Educate for what? creating their own guidelines and Cannabis=marijuana=pot=bad.period. frameworks.. We will have everything Continued from the purely private ownership model ( Alberta) to completely provincial government controlled ( Ontario) and everything in between. The federal government Bill C-45 has set 18 as the minimum age to purchase, but gave the provinces the ability to adjust that to the age of “legal” that is currently in place for alcohol in their province. The federal government has asked that all provinces have their “Outlets” open on the same day across Canada. The provinces have asked for 60 days after Bill C-45 pass before stores are required to open. At this time industry professional are gearing for a Sept 1 or Oct 1 opening date.

gain, wherever you land on the continuum of the impending legalization, you might as well become informed on what is and what is not the current knowledge, views, and beliefs around this product. You are going to need to this knowledge, as this is going to impact you. Whether it is in your home with your family, and discussions around what this means, to the conversations in the workplace. Cannabis is going to be legal under both the Medical and Recreational use parameters. I talked to several different vendors at the

conference and one thing they all wanted to discuss was the need to educate. The need to educate

everyone from the 85yro senior who might wanting to explore using it for pain, depression, appetite, dementia, and a host of other ailments to the 25 yro looking to explore it for the same reasons!! Even when looking at advertising- the mantra appears to be educate through advertising. During a panel discussion luncheon, hosted by the Edmonton Chamber of Commerce ( Presidents Panel) when asked about the rules and guidelines that are being suggested for advertising ( they are appearing quite stringent), Cam Battley, CCO of the Alberta based Aurora Cannabis, stated that they plan to focus on educating the public, not just â&#x20AC;&#x153;advertising to the publicâ&#x20AC;?.

rista Lusted and Melanie Perron from nother group that is focused on Compass Cannabis both stressed the education in this new and quickly importance of educating their clients, growing industry is Weed over Forty, who are medical cannabis users, to a local company that is focused on educating the general public with presentations at various seminars and upcoming legalization. They are often conferences. Their mandate is to speak setting up education events for their to groups looking to clients, and potenexpand their tial clients. Diane knowledge base in Doyle from Harvest regards to today's Medicine echoed the he industry is cannabis landscape. same sentiment the The industry is need to educate the rapidly changing, rapidly changing, and consumer. Education and the only way to keep the only way to keep is not only up with it will be to up with it will be to stemming from become educated in it become educated in it. clinics, various types This is no longer about of Post Secondary black market growers, Institutions across and black market Canada are in the process, or have purchasing. There are going to be 1000â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s developed Cannabis Certifications of jobs created by this new industry, so programs dealing with growing, we are going to need to educate the harvesting, and marketing cannabis. players. David Remillard from Kwantlen Polytechnic University outlined for me he next article in the series will look at that they are sponsored in developing what Cannabis presents like today vs the new curriculum by some of the 50 years ago. It is the same, but it is not industries current leaders and are the same. working in close collaboration with Niche Canada.

ARE YOU MENTALLY READY FOR WEIGHT-GAIN SEASON? What’s your strategy?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas www.thinkyourself.com www.dnalifecoaching.com Speaker. Master Coach #1 Best Selling Author nathalie@dnalifecoaching.com

778-899-0260

ACCOUNTABILITY

WHO AND WHY IS IT FOR?

Who are you surrounding yourself with? Do you have friends to workout with? Your trainer, coach and fitness instructor will serve as accountability buddies to make sure you stay on track.

Identify with the person you want to become. Hear yourself say: “I am healthy and fit.” “I am living a healthy lifestyle.” Or use a progressive statement like: “I am willing to learn how it feels to be healthy and fit”. Who else are you serving? Beyond your own goal, what or who are you helping? Are you inspiring others to be healthy? Are you a role model for your kids? What does that do for you? When you think beyond yourself and discover the reason behind the desire of implementing this into your life, you may find the extra motivation to stick to your plan. Continued

CLEAN UP YOUR MENTAL LIMITATIONS A new season brings changes. We put away our winter clothes and trade them for tank tops and bathing suits. Barbecues, ice cream, fish and chips and drinks on outdoor terraces may be threatening to generate a few extra inches around our waist and it is time to develop a strategy to stay in shape during “sin” season!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? What are the behaviours you want to continue doing during the summer? Make a list of what you want. Whether you want to eat healthy, exercise on a regular basis, sleep well, work on your business, be disciplined with the time you allow for social medias, etc., you first need to know what you want to implement in your life. Be bold and specific.

SET UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT Visualize where your new behaviours will take place. Decide what and whom you want to be around. What will be in your cupboards and your plate? Do you have workout clothes? Where will you exercise? Do you need to find a gym or a class to register to? Do you need specific equipment? Setting up your environment will establish the foundation for your new routine.

What are your beliefs? Do you believe that if you lose weight, you will gain it back? Do you believe that exercise is hard, and you have to push through the pain? Is gaining weight during the summer normal for you? Could you believe instead that you get fitter over the summer? You are right either way. Identify what belief doesn’t serve you and elicit what you want to believe instead. Create a lifestyle change instead of a temporary fix. Believe that eating well taste much better and that exercise is fun and fully part of your life.

WHAT IS IN THE WAY? Prepare for potential problem you may encounter and rehearse what you will do about it. Remove temptation by going towards something you have chosen to be the right thing instead of going away from an unwanted thing.

CHUNK IT DOWN Start simple. Break it down into smaller chunks. Replace one behaviour at a time to flow into fall step by step and create exactly the life you want

Freedom Redefined?

Brent Dunstan

Columnist

“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind.”

his is a direct quote of the Prime Minister of Canada. However, it’s not our current Prime Minister. No, these are the words of Prime Minister John G. Diefenbaker, who enacted Canada’s first Bill of Rights in August of 1960. Mr. Diefenbaker’s statement demonstrates an unambiguous definition of, and commitment to, a truly free society for himself, his country, and (understanding that gender-neutral language wasn’t prevalent in 1960), humanity in general. It is relevant, in light of current events, to revisit the words of a Prime Minister who last held the Office almost 55 years ago, as the sort of freedom he spoke of is apparently not that which our current Prime Minister advocates, or judging by his Government’s actions, envisions for Canadians and is committed to uphold. If you’re rolling your eyes at this point, believing me to be making, as Shakespeare would say, “much ado about nothing”, I ask you bear with me for a few paragraphs. For I believe that there is a greater principle, and not just the specific issues, contentious as they may be, where one’s concern should lie, and requires one’s attention. When the Federal Government’s summer student employment grant application

included requirements that applicants attest to their agreement with, among other things, women’s reproductive rights, including as the program’s website stated, “the right to access safe and legal abortions”, triggering the ensuing “kerfuffle” as the Prime Minister dismissively referred to it, an underlying philosophical problem emerged, one that is truly troubling and must be critically evaluated. And, while the Trudeau Government couldn’t have selected an issue that could stimulate more intense debate, or one where it’s position has a more tenuous foundation, the greater issue lies in the realm of freedom and equality, in a far broader sense than what this Government was likely intending by including certain attestations in a seemingly innocuous grant application. What must be called into question is the validity of a Government unilaterally exercising it’s authority by selectively determining that opinions or beliefs contrary to it’s own are intolerable, and those who hold them, express them, and act upon them, are no longer looked upon as equal with others in its eyes. One might accuse me of blowing this out

of proportion, but when a government takes tangible actions to discriminate against individuals and organizations who, despite acting entirely within the law, hold and espouse views contrary to its own, it evokes images and episodes in history that are most troubling. The difference between what the Liberal Government is doing by asking applicants for a simple student employment grant to sign a morals and values attestation, and totalitarian regimes of days gone by, or the McCarthyism of the US in the 1950’s, is only a matter of subject and degree. One can almost hear echoes of, “Are you now, or have you ever been, a devout, practising Roman Catholic?” “Just sign this statement, and all your problems will go away.” “We’re just asking these questions to make sure you think right.” Of course I’m overstating for the sake of emphasis, but which of these, at it’s basis, is not true in this instance? No government should be able to discriminate against anyone who is not acting outside of the law, for merely holding a belief or opinion contrary to it's own, regardless of what the subject may be. It's an extremely unsettling precedent to set. Continued

At the heart of the matter is the nature of freedom itself. Freedom, in places where the statement, “It’s a free country” has real meaning, is not without limits, and least not in any civil society. Unbounded freedom is anarchy, and without some parameters to define what is and is not acceptable for the common good, chaos would ensue. However, in a democratic society, these limitations must be clearly defined, unequivocally expressed, and specifically enumerated. For example, I do not have the right to take my neighbour’s car without permission, but I do have the freedom to write this article. Such constraints and allowances exist because there is an established law against theft, and a specified right protecting freedom of expression. Our

country’s Constitution stands upon two foundational pillars; one, a Charter of Rights that designates certain rights and freedoms as fundamental, and two, principles that recognize the rule of law. Essentially, the two create a floor and a ceiling, respectively, defining and delineating a Canadian’s freedom.

attestation cannot be defended on legal And therein lies the problem. While it grounds, as there is no law to base any would be perfectly fine to discuss how defense upon. Similarly, one has this Government has erred in general difficulty supporting it by pointing to a terms, the specific issue is such an ideal Charter that holds this list of freedoms to illustrative example, it cannot be passed be "fundamental" - freedom of by. The oft used phrase, “A woman’s right conscience, freedom of religion, freedom to choose” is misapplied in the of thought, freedom of belief, freedom Canadian context, as there is neither a of expression, freedom of the press, federal law that is prohibiting, allowing, freedom of peaceful assembly, and or in any way defining, nor is there freedom of association. It’s not a specific Charter protection question as to which of this misnomered “right”. of these freedoms is Rather, in Canada a woman violated by the has the ability to choose, “We’re just asking attestation required in an ability resulting from the grant application; the absence of any law or these questions Charter assurance. When to make sure you it’s difficult to identify one that isn’t. This is a the Supreme Court struck think right.” clear cut example of a down the existing law Government imposing relating to abortion in the it’s party’s policies and personal beliefs 1980’s, no replacement legislation was under the guise of acting in the interest enacted then, and none has been of protecting and promoting human enacted since, nor has an amendment rights, while violating the very rights it been made to the Charter of Rights to address the matter. In this light, the purports to be upholding. Continued on summer employment grant application Page 42

The first section of the Charter states: “The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.” Freedom then, as per the Constitution, exists according to both the law and the Charter. Therefore, no standard or limitation should exist that is extra legem, that is outside of existing law, or in violation of those freedoms identified as fundamental. This precept must be absolute, particularly on the part of government. Its treatment of its citizens must exist between the floor and the ceiling, so to speak. This ensures equality.

How to make your Divorce Proceedings take forever.

So why do some divorces last as long as they do? I think there are three reasons.

Scott Stenbeck Law Columnist

1(866)783 6232

can remember a number of years ago being part of a meeting of family law lawyers with Madame Justice Hughes in Lethbridge. She talked about how a divorce, even a contentious one, should not last longer than a year. I have always tried to keep that as a goal. But unfortunately, it’s a goal that’s not always met. Sometimes I hear horror stories from people that come to see me. I’m their second or third lawyer. They explain how their divorce has stretched on three, four, five years or more, with no end in sight. I have had a couple of my cases go on longer than I would like. I don’t know about anyone else, but I have no desire to have a divorce matter last any longer than necessary. Sometimes I will hear people express the sentiment that lawyers will “drag a case out,” to make more money. First off such behavior is grossly unethical, and something that should never occur. Even if that wasn’t the case, I have never found there to be a shortage of divorce cases to handle. I have never had the need to make work for myself. And in fact, I usually find myself trying to pull a client the other way. Asking them to be very critical about what issues they feel they must litigate, and what they could possibly let go in order to save time and money. I’m sure most other divorce lawyers are the same.

The first is an inability to look at the Related to the first reason, is the overall process. As a lawyer, I explain a decision as to what issues to bring, how case is about the “process”, and about and when. Ideally, everything would “merits”. For example, if I have a client wait for a trial. But that just usually isn’t that needs to increase their access to possible in family law. That would mean their children. Whether that is done by that trial dates would be obtained, often way of an several months down the attempted road. In the meantime, settlement the lawyers would get If your lawyer tells you everything ready for meeting with the they need certain other side, by that trial with no court material or paperwork, appearances beforehand. way of a special chambers Often cases settle along drop everything and application, or by the way. get it in way of a trial, is “the as soon as possible. process”. The However, in divorce law, arguments as to we can’t wait until a why my client trial to figure out where should get more access, ie that it is in the the children are going to live in the best interests of the children, that there meantime. Who is going to pay the is a holiday planned, that they have been mortgage on the home. What child denied contact, those are “the merits”. support is going to be, and so forth. If those issues can’t be agreed on pending In order to actually get cases done and trial, they require interim applications. completed, we usually need to deal with The process of bringing interim appliprocess first. At the various steps in the cations slows things down three to six process, then we deal with the merits. months, and thousands of dollars. Very For example, document disclosure will be often I end up in situations with a client provided by a certain date. Questioning where we have to balance the desire of each party gets set, we determine to get to trial quickly, with the desire to what chambers applications or hearing handle some issues pending the trial. dates are needed, and so forth. ProbWhich by their nature, slow down how ably one of my biggest frustrations in fast we will get to trial. One of the ways a family law is it is often so difficult to have case can get into multiple years in length discussions about, or set down process is by always going back on interim without constantly get mired up in the applications for various issues. Rather merits. Often as a lawyer I need to tell than identifying the one or two biggest a client that we will deal with the exact issues to handle, and leaving the rest for concerns. But first we need to look at trial. Continued overall where we are headed, and how we are going to get to resolution. Rather than just go from court date, to court date, with no direction. That is how someone has a divorce with twenty court appearances, tens of thousands spent, and no end in sight.

he final way that lots of cases get delayed is waiting for financial disclosure or other material from clients. This is probably one of the single greatest reasons and the easiest and cheapest for a client to just fix themselves. It is not unusual in questionings for there to be several undertakings, basically “homework,” for a client to compile, that has to be supplied or disclosed. While these kinds of things can seem tedious and irritating to a person in the middle of a divorce case, they are necessary so a case can advance. Also, it is very difficult to handle concerns on interim applications where someone has not supplied disclosure or other material thats required. Many times on a Thursday morning, I will hear one party complain about not receiving ordered access. Only to have the other lawyer reply that the complaining party is slowing the case down by not supplying their financial disclosure. If I could recommend just one thing that any person could do to save legal costs and time in their divorce case it would be this. If your lawyer tells you they need certain material or paperwork, drop everything and get it in as soon as possible. It has to be done anyway, so make sure you aren’t the reason things aren’t moving ahead.

Identity Politics, It Will Ruin Us

efforts to bring their views forward. “as children we realized that we were different from boys and that we were treated different—for example, when we were told in the same breath to be quiet both for the sake of being

refers to political positions or stances based on the perspective of the social groups with which one identifies. The term was coined in the mid 60’s originally, often used in conjunction with Black Civil Rights. At the time of coming into the vocabulary of the nation, the term and those “identifying “ with it, was pretty limited. It was mostly applied to the Civil Rights movement in the United States, and in particular, to the Black Feminist in

“ladylike” and to make us less objectionable in the eyes of white people. In the process of consciousness-raising, actually life-sharing, we began to recognize the commonality of our experiences and,

dentity Politics. It has become a more frequently used term, and is also becoming increasingly negative and divisive. It has become the call of the oppressed, and not, the unity building label it was supposed to be. Basically, it

Teri-Anne Bowyer Political and Life Musings teriannebowyer@gmail.com

from the sharing and growing consciousness, to build a politics that will change our lives and inevitably end our oppression. (Combahee River Collective

1982: 14–15) Heyes, Cressida, "Identity Politics", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Spring 2018 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL:https://plato.stanford. edu/entries/identity-politics/ Since then, more and more segments of our social fabric have started using it to bring their issue and concerns forth in political conversations to affect policy. It has grown exponentially over the past few years, partly I believe with the growth of Social Media, and other rapid forms of concept dissemination. One single thought, news item, fact or fake can be “viral” within mere minutes. AND identity politics is fracturing us beyond recognition. Groups are brought together as a group by nature of their commonalities with regard to social status, education, professions, political leanings, religious beliefs(4200+), disabilities(15% of world pop), race(30+), sexual orientation(73+), gender perception(112+) to name of few of the identity labels. There are in fact too

many labels used, and that is why is we are going to be ruined by this “movement”. The more the list of “identities” grows, the more it becomes divisive, not inclusive. Continued on Page 70

“When Friends Aren’t Enough” shut-eye, we go for coffee with a friend and complain about how busy we are, and so on.

Dr. Wendy Froberg

Psy. D.,R.Psych. Clinical Psychologist Columnist frobergw@shaw.ca

ur evolution as human beings took place in small groups or clans. In these early times when resources were scarce and dangers many, we were dependent on one another for our very survival. Today, we are still social creatures who turn to others in time of need. In fact, research shows that people with strong interpersonal connections are better able to cope with the effects of stress than those who are socially isolated. Our network of family, friends,

acquaintances and associates are there to share in our joys and our sorrows and, much of the time, their support and assistance can get us through difficult times. “Stress” refers to the demands placed on a system and, technically, is not good or bad, but merely a measure of force, e.g., the stress-load a bridge can withstand. Stress can actually be good for you (resistance training overloads your muscle, causing a breakdown of muscle fibers which, when rested, heal and grow back bigger and stronger). More typically, we use the term in a negative sense to refer to our experience when the demands placed upon us exceed our coping abilities, resulting in a minor or major breakdown of healthy functioning, subjective feelings of distress and the emergence of symptoms. We are never without stress in our lives. Most often, this results in an ongoing fluctuation of energy and emotional reactions that can be modulated and managed with relatively little effort. We take a break, the weekend or vacation is here at long last, the kids finally go to bed, we get some extra

However, when we are in great pain and overwhelmed by our experiences, we may need understanding and guidance beyond that which even the most loved of loved ones can provide. How do we know when we have reached such a place and need to consult a professional helper? The following provides a list of indicators to guide you. (1) Our day-to-day functioning is negatively affected such that we are not effectively carrying out our responsibilities, e.g., we cannot take care of our children or perform our job duties; (2) We are showing physical manifestations of stress and our inability to cope, such as sleep and appetite disturbances and physical pain for which there is no medical basis; (3) We feel out-of touch with reality, or deeply estranged from others and/or our usual sense of self. People may comment that we are “not ourselves” and are acting strangely. We may experience this as an “identity crisis” or have frank symptoms of disturbed “reality testing” such as hallucinations or delusions; (4) We behave in a way that is extremely socially inappropriate, particularly if this behavior or the feelings that accompany it involve harming oneself or others;

(5) We have strong and enduring feelings of unhappiness, anger, anxiety, confusion or other distress that persist despite support and advice from loved ones; (6) We are consumed by obsessive or repetitive thoughts, memories, impulses, behaviors or feelings that we cannot control, that we may know are irrational but we engage in them anyway, and which cause us distress. We may or may not know what these experiences are related to, e.g., a past trauma such as a car accident or natural disaster; and (7) We continue to engage in unhealthy and self-defeating behavior despite having insight into the reasons why we do so (i.e., even though we “know better”). This may be a sign of addictive behavior. It is important to add that seeking professional help sometimes carries with it an inappropriate stigma of “weakness” or “craziness”. I prefer to see it as a sign of good judgment, a mature acceptance of one’s human needs and limitations, and a healthy desire to live as joyfully, competently and fully as possible.

Sheri

“Flora” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

Danieladelaney0@gmail.com Hair&MakeupE l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

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SShheerrii

Autr y Autry

“Flora” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

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Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Julie Anne @julieannejunkins

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E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

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Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Aphrodite” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

Julie Anne @julieannejunkins Hair&Makeup-

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S h e r i

A u t r y

There are designers who clearly are talented or they would not be showing on New York stages. But every once and a while a collection is so breathtaking, so mesmerizing, you remember why you make the pilgrimage each season to the Big Apple.

Sheri Autry’s Enchanted Goddess collection was what made this trip worth it all. She launched her career at age ten sewing for herself, and her sister. She started designing for a living in 2015. The reveal of The Enchanted Goddess Collection is one for fashions history books! Each creation had its own name, and her signature piece boasted the visible lining as hand painted by the incredible artist Brittany Branson. In Sheri’s own words,

“

I purposeful design my pieces to be conversation starters and head turners, setting my clients apart from the ordinary. It’s all in the details unexpected, surprising, and uncommon fashion.

“

What Sheri fails to realize is that turning heads is the hope of every designer. Sadly, her contemporaries do not register each piece as home runs. But if you are fortunate enough to attend an Autry fashion show I wager each piece will take more of your breath away. I recommend she keep her collections to a minimum, unless members of the audience faint in the seats. The genesis of her creativity was birthed when her sister Betsy asked Sheri to design her wedding dress. She started with their grandmothers wedding dress, the same one her mother also wore. Sheri discovered she loved creating new fashion from vintage elements. Couture Fashion has introduced many unique and exciting designers. Sheri Autry is one that will not be soon forgotten. Each design more heart stopping than the last. It is no wonder each piece bears its own name to mark each creation’s absolute individuality. Sheri gets to know her clients and designs for them. Be it the wedding dress or the lingerie for their first night, Sheri makes the moment memorable.

“Hera” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection

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Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Stephanie Jin @stephjinstyle Hair&Makeup-

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“Athena” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

Maanami Naomi @djnamm Hair&Makeup-

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Iris” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Coco Herrerias @cocoherrerias

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E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Freya” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

@icywon

Dress Lining painted-

@bybrittanybranson Hair&Makeup-

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“Persephone” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection

Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Jaqueline Backer @jaqueline_backer

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E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Makara” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

@tanairi.zarazua Hair&Makeup-

E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Astraea” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture

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Jasmine Collins @mohagonyme Hair&Makeup-

E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Electra” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

@nakita.williams Hair&Makeup-

E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“ Venus” gown from S/S ‘ 18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

@iamgraceappiah Hair&Makeup-

E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

“Ostara” gown from S/S ‘18 Enchanted Goddesses collection Designer-

Sheri Autry @sheriautrycouture Model-

@bmilne64

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E l l a B e a u t y Te a m @ e l l a b e a u t y te a m Photographer-

Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

Golf Simplified getting into the Scoring Zone

Donald Crawley Golf Columnist

TOP 100 Teacher Director of Instruction Boulders Golf Academy 480 488 9028 Donald.crawley@theboulders.com www.theboulders.com www.golfsimplified.com

o be a good golfer you need a short game, a really good one. Look through the history of golf’s greats and they all had a deft touch on and around the green.

You may never (most likely) be able to overpower a golf course with booming drives like Hogan, Nicklaus, Woods, now Bubba, Jason, and Rory. I just love that these modern icons are known by first names. Did Michael Jordan start that? Maybe some Canadian hockey player? Apologies, I digress. Anyway, the top players have great short games. Although Bubba Watson hits the ball prodigious distances, he is a great putter. Some time last year he had the longest spell of not three putting. Jordan Spieth number one in the world is a brilliant pressure putter. Sometimes looking at the hole not the ball. Amazing! The start of developing a good short game begins with the visualization of the shot. We call that imagery. Seeing the picture of the shot in your mind, and playing a little video in your head, ahead of execution is crucial. Visualize the height, trajectory, landing spot and roll of the ball, before you even think of club selection.

Imagine you are twenty yards off the green. The pin is cut in the middle of a relatively flat green, with no obvious obstacles in the way. Do you ‘see’ a low shot landing on the fringe of the green releasing, and rolling on a low trajectory, up the green and into the hole? You should. Where should the ball land? Be specific, “that brown spot on the fringe”. What club would give you the trajectory and roll you envision? Maybe it’s a 9 iron? No it may roll too far, better to select a bit more loft, pitching wedge?

Now apply this same routine and procedure for putting. While it is someone else’s turn; farthest from the hole plays first,.Do your ‘green reading’ on each and every putt. See the slope. Where is downhill? How far away are you? How fast is the green? Hopefully you spent a few minutes prior to your round to feel out the speed of the greens. Green reading means: visualizing ahead of time of the length, direction, and pace of the putt. You are guesstimating what you see and think the ball will do. In practice roll a ball ahead of time to watch what the ball does as it After you ‘see’ this shot and select your club, i approaches the hole and where it finishes. it is time to ‘feel’ the After you ‘see’ the putt, ‘feel’ the shot. Watch the pro’s length and pace of your stroke they do exactly as I’m The start of developing to give you the desired result. describing. Looking Again see and feel. Watch the a good short game at the landing spot, pros, they do it. I think it helps with selected club in begins with the to be looking at the hole, not hand, make practice ground, when you take swings that resemble visualization of the shot. the your practice swings. Your eyes the length and pace are seeing the distance. Your of the swing needed brain determines the amount of to drop the ball oomph in your stroke. Brain sends messages exactly on your spot. SEE the shot first, FEEL to the muscles. Pick up a ball, rolled up piece the swing. of paper, whatever, and toss it into the Note; don’t take forever doing this slowing wastebasket. You will instinctively follow the pace of play down. You should be doing these routine and procedure I am spelling out. calculations, see and feel, out of sight when your playing partner is hitting their shot. Then it is your turn, and you a ready. You’ve seen, selected, felt the shot and swing, ready to stand up and execute.

here are many different putting grips, putters, stroke styles etc. But all good putters see and feel and have a marvelous touch of distance control. Work on that more than your technique. That means you have to practice, no short cuts here. Quick ‘Tiger’ story. When he was at his best, a friend of mine worked course maintenance at the club where Tiger lived and practiced. My friend goes by Tigers house at 6am. Tiger is on the putting green outside his house, working on his stoke and putting. Worker goes and mows nine greens returns by Tigers house 11 am. “ Mr. Woods, what did you have for breakfast today?” They both shared similar diets. Tiger doesn’t look up, but replies, “I let you know, just finishing up here”. Maybe that’s why he made so many clutch putts to win 14 majors. I think somewhere as you read this Jordan, Jason, Rory, Rickie are rolling putts, or chipping and putting, seeing and feeling the shot in hand.

Continued From Page 16

Freedom Redefined?

the Government discriminating against This is the broader principle that should specific identifiable groups on the basis make the Liberal Government’s of their morals and values, and it’s only actions in this case problematic for all defense is to infer that somehow these Canadians, regardless of where they people can be accommodated if they can stand on the specific issue, because in some way dichotomize or it’s not the specific issue that should compartmentalize their activities from be their point of concern. In fact, the their core values, by subjugation or controversial nature of the specific issue by forcing clouds the matter. It’s outright denial the precedent being of them. If set. It’s the denial of If we truly believe anyone fails to equality of access to in a free country, see the government resources that means not just obvious to certain Canadians, problem with but not others, on the allowing for, but this, may I basis of their ideology defending the right suggest you without regard for of another to express consider the democratic institutions, an opinion we would reverse established standards, scenario. or the rule of law spend our dying (despite misleading Suppose the breath opposing. rhetoric to the Government contrary). It’s the was requirGovernment, or more ing that any accurately, a select few within the organization or group wanting funding via a summer jobs grant sign a pro-life Government, establishing its own attestation. Now do you see the point measures of the beliefs and activities of contention? Since this specific issue of individuals and organizations, not has decidedly not been resolved in the by democratic means, but by fiat. It’s public forum, freedom and equality in a democratic society demand that any Canadian be afforded the identical rights, privileges, and opportunities as any other, particularly and especially by their Government. This is why Prime Minister Diefenbaker’s aforementioned quote is so timely and instructive, particularly in that it safeguards a Canadian’s right to stand for what one thinks to be right, and the freedom to oppose what one believes to be wrong. There lies within this protection a defense of the inherent right to hold a dissenting opinion. (A brief side note: Shame on the NDP for attempting to discipline an MP in its own caucus for clearly having an understanding of this, voting his conscience, and acknowledging the larger principle at stake. It was a hypocritical demonstration the party has forgotten that political dissent has been its raisin d’être and stock in trade throughout most, if not all of it’s existence.)

One’s thoughts and beliefs are central to one’s humanity, and inform one’s attitudes and actions. This is why it is difficult to determine which is the greater affront; the asking to sign the values attestation in the first place, or the secondary suggestion that those who have problems doing so on moral grounds somehow separate their core values from their activities. Such a suggestion demonstrates a complete lack of understanding that the altruism of charitable organizations, especially, but far from limited to, religiously based ones, is a direct result of, and inextricably linked to, their morals and values. Put another way, why they do what they do is every bit as important as what they do, if not more so. As such, it becomes impossible to simply “hold one’s nose, and sign off” on a statement that isn’t reflective of their beliefs, just to get some money. The suggestion they do so is in itself a denial of very first freedom the Charter lists as fundamental; that of conscience. The product of freedom is equality; not just for those whose beliefs and actions align with one specific perspective, but for those who hold opinions in direct contrast as well. If we truly believe in a free country, that means not just allowing for, but defending the right of another to express an opinion we would spend our dying breath opposing. For as long as their actions and activities neither contravene explicitly defined rights and freedoms, nor violate enacted law, the protection provided by The Charter of Rights and Freedoms demands equality of opportunity, service, and treatment for any and all Canadians. If a Government wishes to act otherwise, let it pass a law or amend the Constitution, in accordance with the applicable democratic processes. Allowing any Government, on any subject, to circumvent this and establish it’s own standards according to a select few is unconscionable. The statement, “The Charter of Rights and Freedoms applies to all Canadians” cannot be followed by the proviso, “as long as they agree with the Cabinet.” This is not freedom; this is freedom redefined. And that is not only wrong - it is dangerous. Brent

Failure is Temporary

Scott Cowan

Editorial

403-528-2191

here is a reason the future is described as in front, while the past is ` characterized as behind. That way we are not constantly looking at our failures. Confident people are seldom if ever caught dragging the anchor of past sins, mistakes, or failures. It's as if such work is noble or a penance for some people. I have listened to so many people telling the gruesome story of their problems, as if the events had somehow become virtuous. Not so the confident man or woman. They just brush off the dust of unpleasant circumstances and surge forward. A friend of mine in our city was a local philanthropist. He was extremely wealthy, and often on television for some of the pioneering work he had accomplished with teenagers. By chance we ended up working out in the same gym one morning. I asked him why we had never done any business. I'd love a shot at your next financing package. His answer was come over to his office at 3 pm that day. When I arrived, he had his in house lawyer and full time money manager in attendance. At first I was on trial, being asked numerous finance questions. At a certain point he said, I've heard enough give him the deal and anything he asks for in documents. He got up and left the meeting. After a short review, I suggested it would be much easier to do a complete refinance of the entire companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assets. They were valued at just under six hundred million dollars? (I am a mortgage broker by trade.)

Over the next few weeks the deal became harder to finalize based on the tardiness of the company to supply requested documents. In the end, I was hitting a brick wall due entirely to their non- compliance. About a year or so later the company went bankrupt. It was very difficult. Many small local contractors were financially compromised by the closing. Since we are a small city of 65,000 people almost everyone had an opinion about the demise. Much criticism was leveled regarding the owner in particular. Many people actually love to see the mighty fall. It gives them a perverse sanctimonious reinforcement of all their negative thoughts and positions. It is as if they alone had the prophetic insights that my friend was destined to fail. Hence, no one else should reach high for this type of success. The coffee shop experts were no longer faced with

explaining or measuring themselves against how this man could be so much better at business. The excuse narrative follows, we all know you don't make that kind of money ethically. So the self proclaimed experts pontificate and find solace in their denial of personal accomplishments. The arm chair analysts would have everybody believe we should consult them regarding success. It is as if the very fact someone reached for and obtained such a high position was somehow irresponsible and greedy. That is the truth of the matter ...so many are envious and jealous and covet other men's success. Why? Because it makes us and our accomplishments look smaller in comparison. We do not want real life examples because we are intimidated by their success. It throws the spot light on our glaring inability to do or even try to be the best at our craft.

Failure is Temporary Confident people are the best at whatever their hand finds. It may not always be about vast sums of money. But are you the best teacher, counselor, pastor, waitress, social worker? I was very close to the trustee settling the companies affairs described above. He told me that the people who held up my documents were in fact instrumental in the collapse of the company. No wonder they did not want a third party looking at certain records. Not to mention and let's not forget the unusually large commission I lost due to non-performance. I tell this story to illustrate how truly confident people conduct themselves after catastrophic failure. Soon as the company’s affairs were discharged guess what my friend was doing? Actually before discharge, he had opened an office in one of the best corporate addresses in Calgary. He had another company up and running. He put his wife in a half million dollar home. Not anything comparable to what he had repossessed, but very comfortable. Soon as he was legally able his new business was operational and cash flowing nicely. You see a confident man can lose absolutely everything tangible. Take his cars, money, homes, status, all that can be seen. But the Intangible and unseen is beyond the tax man or bank foreclosure associates. What makes him a man, a confident man, cannot be liquidated by the trustee. Confident people can transform the intangible into tangible assets. People will do business with a confident man even after the world explodes. Why? Because he still had his networking contacts, and his brain, a great attitude, and his... confidence. Yesterday was the past. Confident people move that fast. The money did not make the man... the man made the money. After having to start over from nothing, he could do it again. His attitude and mind was looking for the next million dollars. The difference is after suffering your failure, you continued holding on to and remembering every negative screw up

from the first time you soiled your pants. Until we deal with our sordid, misinformed past, we will never know real confidence. Insecurity literally strangles any hope of change in our lives. Why the majority of people protecting a mind are set of lack? We work like dogs for a few dollars a week. Why is there just enough for the mortgage and car payment? Large percentages of people used to aspire to owning their own business. We hoped to pass a real legacy to our children. More importantly, we were able to enjoy the accomplishment of hard work and feed back of our multiple endeavors.

“Confident people are seldom if ever caught dragging the anchor of past sins, mistakes, or failures.” What changed? Some spent their entire lives building a legacy, only to find our children have no interest in following in our footsteps. It is true the majority of society moved from an agricultural base to manufacturing. Then the technical revolution burst forth. After Bill Gates and a few others, I wonder... where are the entrepreneurs? Ask the average person if they’re considering opening their own business. They will look at you in disbelief. I was once asked to lecture at the University of Windsor. The professor quoted a magazine article I had written as an example of white privilege, and male dominance. As luck would have it ...a student asked her to invite me to speak in class to hear my side of the story. To my amazement she agreed.

There were about forty young people in a class room. I commented that we had many different and diverse ethnic students in attendance. Imagine with me that we, this class, are the world, each student represented their country or nation. I then asked the question, who upon graduation is hoping for a really good job? Every hand was extended. You have just sentenced the world to global recession and bankruptcy. If all of you in the world want a good job, exactly who would be the employers? Since no one here is saying they would opt out of employment in favor of opening your own business. Higher education teaches students to prepare for being obedient workers, not entrepreneurs. I am very respectful of degrees and education. However we have to sift out the stereo typical conditioning in many cases. You need to realize universities are educating students to fail by default. Teachers can't help the fact they have for the most part, no practical experience in the business world. What works on paper is radically different in the real day to day operation of a business. Try and merge your book learning with genuine work business experience. Teachers can only offer a foundation at best. A proper balance of the two will result in success. Part of your lack of confidence just might be an over load of education versus common sense. Then there is the very real past experiences we all carry. Some of us do everything we can to keep it covered up and out of sight. It is sometimes ugly to look at and remember. Again, before going there, a trained therapist may be the one to travel that territory in a clinical setting. Continued on Page 68

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SpotLight Summer Music Festivals

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

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Joan Bateman @gainsborogal

SUMMER FESTIVALS

p o t L i g h t is thrilled to cover some of the greatest music festivals

in North America. We had our reporter at Coachella Valley

Music and arts Festival last year. It is a must see for any music

lover. Not only are the guests “A” list but the experience is off

the charts. Coachella has become the go to event for the stars. Hotels for miles around are booked so look for accommodations early. You can also camp if you’re so inclined. It is safe and everyone looks out for you.

Spotlight also covered Summerfest in Milwaukee Wisconsin. We sent two reporters and they had an absolute blast. She loved the experience of crossing the country by train. Once at Summerfest it was non-stop fun and shooting literally hundreds of artists. There are open concerts and ticketed events on the grounds so make sure you get what you need before arriving. Our reporters enjoyed a bed and breakfast close to the event you may want to look into those options as well.

Spotlight has produced a map of some of the major events across the country for your convenience. We enjoy readers from all across our country. Possibly one of these concerts is in your area.

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N I A P T

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O E R agon w d e e

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When I was about 12 years of age, I asked my Dad to help me. The toilet was close to over flowing. We got out the plunger and went to work. After many failed attempts at a solution, Dad instructed me to go out to the shop and bring back shovels. We went to the back yard. He told me to dig up my mother's flower bed. Why I asked, she likes this bed a lot? He instructed me to put all the plants carefully by the house. Keep them in lots of dirt, and water them. I'm going to teach you a valuable lesson. Then he said, dig a hole starting here, so I went to work. About two feet down I hit a rock. Go to the edge he instructed. Soon I realized it was something else all together. A huge cement box eventually emerged. Measuring about nine feet long and four feet wide. It emitted a foul smell, but that was just the beginning. Dad handed me a six foot crow bar. He said there was a lip on the box. L leveraged the lid up and the most vicious odor I had ever experienced virtually overwhelmed my senses. I dropped the lid. Eventually it came off and I was looking at an open septic tank. In all my young years I had never seen anything quite so repulsive. Therein lay 144 cubic feet of raw sewage. Dad explained I needed to get a pole and remove an obstruction. It was lodged in the nine inch tile drain submerged in the box. It was the front entrance to something known as a weeping bed. The tile led to a matrix of other tiles that dispersed the sewage across a system covering most of the entire back yard. The material spreads out and dissipates, then filters into the soil over time. The drain I was trying to clear was about three feet below the surface of the over flowing box. After quite a while and to no avail, Dad said I would have to remove it by hand. This was not what I had expected a couple hours earlier when I asked him how to properly plunge the toilet. My choice was to stand in the box and bend over to reach the clog. Or I could lie on the ground and lower myself to the surface in order to reach. The risk was slipping face first into the entire mixture. So Dad held my legs and I leaned over to extend my arm down into the soup, as my father referred to

Failure is Temporary the stuff. I don't think anything in my life now or then, was quite so disgusting. My face was an inch from the surface, with my hair literally floating on the top. As my weight shifted I actually touched my cheek several times in the effluent. My hand was scrambling to find the nine inch opening. I finally succeeded in digging out the plugged tile. My father was laughing as he rinsed me off with the outdoor hose. To this day, I have no recollection of any feeling more satisfying than the filth washing off my body. When we went back to cover the tank it had already receded close to the drain level. Another hour passed, and the plants and flower bed was restored. So what was the lesson I asked my Dad, with obvious sarcasm in my voice?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;What works on paper is radically different in the real day to day operation of a business.â&#x20AC;?

It's this he said, "No matter how well or how pretty you are cover your shit, some day you'll always have to deal with it." I have never forgotten that lesson. Always remember under the most modern and beautiful city, below the contoured concrete and gardens, there is a sewer system. No different than my old back yard. No different than your life, every life. It pays dividends if you per-disasterize any build ups, or obstructions. We have to regularly examine what is laying there in our memories, rotting and stinking. There should be no room in our lives for holding on to filthy thoughts. The putrid smell of revenge and grudges must flow away. Obsessing on what someone said or did, restricts us from enjoying and growing in life. Let's assume what the other guy did was 100% wrong. They are not caring what you think about it at all. So let go of the hurt, frustration, or anger, and

move forward. Karma will deal with them. What comes around goes around. I really believe we all reap what we sew. You may not even get to know about their comeuppance, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not important. I take great exception to lots of speakers content these days ... I do not believe man is basically good. The first words a baby learns is ...no...Mine. They do not need to be taught to be selfish. It comes very naturally. They need to be disciplined to learn sharing and caring. All men... and I use this pronoun in the gender neutral context, need laws to restrain bad behavior. Third world countries that do not practice the rule of law are chaotic. Bribes are common place and justice is for sale. Might is right so to speak. People therefore need compulsion and force to do what is right. When the majority of society complies then you have the semblance of order. So why is our first go to response usually the negative or confrontational? We tend to first take the easy way. To stand up for ourselves letting nobody take advantage. We have to choose the right thing, the more noble option in all situations. Dare I suggest you forgive those who have done you wrong? Not so they get a pass. By the act of forgiveness you are then able to release the pain they caused, and move forward into your future. So many do not understand, forgiveness is first and foremost a mechanism of release and recovery for the forgiver. It has little if no benefit for those who are forgiven. Why? Because chances are they don't even care. They have been living rent free in your head all along. Letting them go allows you to go forward... healed. Forgiveness does not mean you let them back into your life to re-offend. It means you can stop reliving the experience over and over again. You must make sure your mind is constantly dispersing the negative by passing and dissolving negative hurtful thoughts across the matrix of our virtue, forgiving nature, and personal moral code. Otherwise you will be swept up in anger or hate and suffer the tyranny of self imposed limitations.

It is our overcrowded hard drive, full of negative thoughts and memories that cause hesitation and fear. If we delete the failures and losses there will be ample space to download the positive messages of encouragement, hope and optimism. We are then able to become caring, compassionate, empathetic, and loving, regardless of another's action. Leave the pain and blame behind.

Confidence cannot live in the toxic environment of anger and hopelessness. There is medication for some of these problems. Go get it if needed. Or call me for a good kick in the derriere. I have found that hearing the unvarnished truth has powerful healing properties.

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Identity Politics, It Will Ruin Us

Just by looking at the shear numbers of identities it has to become obvious that using this method can only lead to further alienation, and not a societal inclusion. Quite frankly at a current world population of approximately 7.3 billion, by current standards we would then have 3.65 billion identities (there has to be a “shared” commonality in identity politics) No Cohesion in that!!! In fact, there is abundant evidence that shows we are becoming increasingly fragmented, and that each “identity” feels alienated, and discriminated against. Add to each “identities” belief that they are discriminated against is that every other “ identity” will say that “they” are the oppressed and that the other is wrong. Discrimination and Dismissiveness are the underpinning of the fabric of society,here is nothing inclusive and binding about it. This was not how it was supposed to develop. At the beginning of this movement, back in the mid 60’s, the seeds of identity politics looked to find a way for inclusion with national unity and equality. It grew out of the Black Community seeking to find a way to end discrimination, and call for all men to be equal. ALL MEN- everybody knew it it meant EVERYBODY- there was no idea to subcategorize everyone into individual “identity”, In his titled “ I Have A Dream” speech Dr Martin Luther King Jr proclaimed: “When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men – yes, black men as well as white men – would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/mar/01/how-americas-identity-politics-went-from-inclusion-to-division

This way of thought was championed by the “left”, and the push was for societal rules to be made without thought given to race,gender,religious affiliation, educational background, or economic status. That is not where we are today! We have fragmented ourselves into oblivion. Society can not be successful in an everyone for themselves atmosphere, and that is where we have landed. As Oberlin professor Sonia Kruks writes, “What makes identity politics a significant departure from earlier, per-identarian forms of the politics of recognition is its demand for recognition on the basis of the very grounds on which recognition has previously been denied: it is qua women, qua blacks, qua lesbians that groups demand recognition. The demand is not for inclusion within the fold of “universal humankind” on the basis of shared human attributes; nor is it for respect “in spite of” one's differences. Rather, what is demanded is respect for oneself as different (2001: 85). Heyes, Cressida, "Identity Politics", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Spring 2018 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/spr2018/entries/ identity-politics/>.

We have become self centered and self absorbed to the point of totally blindness to our fellow man. The backbone of today's identity politics is that everyone wants to make sure “they” are heard. There is no larger collective, identifying with the larger group is gone, we are now identifying down a nano concept. Instead of identifying with the larger collective of women, you now pick from one ( or more) of 112+ gender identifiers, one ( or more) of 73+ sexual orientation identifiers,one ( or more) of the 30+ race identifiers, etc….. And the list grows, in order in include those that are not included in the above. It is exhausting!!!!! And oppressive. I am a white, heterosexual, married, relatively well educated middle age female, middle class female. I feel like I can not speak, because I am the group that all the other groups like to hate for having ruined their lives, second only to a white, middle class, middle age, male. I am apparently the oppressor, I am not any nano label. Yet, ask any one who belongs to any of the above, or other not listed nano defined groups, they also feel oppressed. So how is this possibly working, if everyone feels that they are the oppressed, which makes everyone else the oppressor. Everyone is the victim, yet everyone is the bully? There is absolutely no unity. Prime Minister Trudeau is often quoted with the statement- unity through diversity and Diversity is Canada's strength. It is an oxymoron when we look at all the above issues. It is not working. It is ruining us as a Nation, and it is ruining our neighbors to the South as well. We need to drop somea lot actually labels and come together as a race-the human race. I really do not care what your skin colour is, what your gender is, your spiritual stance, what your sexual orientation is ( well I do have some personal caveats here, but…), or any other label. We are all humans, we all need to live and work together to keep our worlds moving . However, need to move away from this concept of identity politics, or it is going to the ruin of the human race.

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