http://www.simsweeklyworldnews.info
It’s been a while since the last edition of The Sims Weekly World News. Life has a way of getting away from you when you aren’t looking. Things tend to creep up that you have no control over. That is where I have been. The magazine is back and the web page has many Updates. Those that are fans of Lunar Lakes will be happy with all the new community builds of the lots that EA decided we really didn’t need there like a consignment store and salon. A Lunar Lakes legacy has even been started. Some of the older pictures on the site have been Updated to better showcase the Sims for download and download links are much easier to find. The Sims Life comic is back along with some other stories. Some of the stories are going to be left on hold Until the new expansion pack comes out because the new content will add so much more to the stories. I haven’t abandoned them. I am working really hard on updating everything and getting things back on track. This issue is going to be a bit different, as I am Including a few things from other projects that I was involved in that got canceled. No sense in Letting hard work go to waste. Be sure to visit the website to see what all is going on. ~ Georga
http://www.simsweeklyworldnews.info
Unicorns Removed from Endangered Species List Pg 6 Olympic Bound Appaloosa Plains Local, Adam David Makes Olympic Weight Lifting Team Page 7 Suffocating in an Imaginary Box Interview with Frantic the Spider
Page 8 Population Explosion Explained Page 11
Horses from Wonderland Page 11 From Astronaut to Model: Meet Kaidan Page 13 Katy Perry Fashion Don’ts Page 16 Dear Juliet Page 17 Classifieds Page 19
4
Plumbob Pictures forgot to pack up after a movie shooting. That was embarrassing.” Once so rare that they were considered animals of fantasy and legend, unicorns were nearly extinct.
Unicorn sightings have become so frequent in all parts of Sim City, proving that they are indeed more than mythical animals in children’s bedtime stories, that they have been removed from the endangered species list. “Originally we though that these unicorn sightings were a hoax,” Justin Archer from Landgraab Science Facility told us. “We called in a Crytozoologist to look into all. it would not come as any surprise to find that someone went around gluing paper mache horns to the wild horse population. we had to call in a specialist to make sure. We are talking about unicorns here and wanted to make sure this wasn’t like that Bigfoot sighting we had last year that turned out to be a prop that
6
What caused the unicorn Population explosion? Archer explains, “Well, when a male unicorn and female unicorn fall in love and animal instinct starts to take over…” Not needing a lesson on the birds, bees and unicorns we asked cryptozoologist Graham Simm who was called in to study the animals. “I really can’t say. I do have a number of theories. The entire area that makes up Sim City is rather laid back. It’s not like it’s full of a population of people that would hunt them down as if they were on safari and needed a taxidermy unicorn head for their collection. They have been allowed to go about their business with no interference from Sims. They are also probably breeding with the wild horse population which has helped to increase their numbers. We also have to consider two other possibilities. The first is that aliens have visited and brought unicorns in large numbers. The second is that Fort Gnome has been doing genetic experiments combining horse DNA with narwhal DNA and the animals escaped. I will know more after running some blood samples.” Whatever the reason for the return of unicorns, Sims will finally get to see one up close and personal in their lifetime.
July 27, 2012 marks the opening ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games and Appaloosa Plains resident Adam David will be there. His rise to Olympic Athlete fame is a very unique one. The idea of trying out for the Olympics came from his best friend after a night of heavy drinking. “Zack comes up with these crazy ideas all the time and for whatever reason I go along with them.” Adam considers himself very athletic but trying to find a sport that he was good enough at to compete in was a bit of a challenge. “There are so many sports in the Olympics, some of them I don’t even know what they are, like curling. Then there are things that just don’t seem like they belong, like table tennis. Is there anyone who really looks at table tennis and thinks of it as a sport? Try telling someone you are on an Olympic Table Tennis Team and see how quickly they laugh at you.” “Zack presented me with a list of sports that he thought that I would be good at based on whatever goes on in his head at random intervals. Each one of them ended up in horrible failure and I ended up putting a mutual friend of ours in a wheelchair attempting them.” Adam explained, ‘It was really unfortunate. I think Mike has unfriended me on Facebook over it all.” Sports he tried out included karate, archery (he shot his (he knocked his friend out with a riding (he fell off the horse) weightlifting. His acceptance to as a last minute of the team suffered a freak It doesn’t got there, there and Plains is represented. the best of
swimming (he drowned), friend in the knee), golf golf ball) and horseback before he settled on the Olympic Team came substitute after one members injury. matter how he just that he got Appaloosa being We wish him luck.
Read Adam Davids Story at: http://tinyurl.com/bs59uwe
7
Recently the big news out of Starlight Shores was that local street performer, Frantic the Spider, nearly suffocated in an invisible box. Since then he has become a household name. As they say in show business, “There is no such thing as bad publicity”, but is that really the case? We had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Frantic.
SWWN: Thanks for agreeing to give us this interview. Frantic: No problem. SWWN: When did you decide you wanted to become a street performer? Frantic: I don’t want to be a street performer. Ever since I can remember I wanted to join the circus. Most kids want to be a firefighter or doctor or astronaut. I wanted to be a circus freak. I remember when I told my dad that. He really tried to talk me out of it. SWWN: What was it that he wanted you to do?
8
Frantic: Anything but that. I even tried going to school for interior design. I thought that it would be easy enough. How hard is it to color coordinate furniture and arrange it ascetically based on someone’s feng shui? I ended up doing so horribly that I dropped out. My only real talent is acrobatics. SWWN: Was acrobatics something that you just picked up or did you have lessons? How does one go about learning that? Frantic: In school I was on the gymnastics team and later I joined the cheer squad because of the gymnastics that we got to perform. SWWN: Cheer squad? Not to sound sexist, but isn’t that predominantly a female thing? Where there other guys on it with you? Frantic: A lot of schools, especially colleges, have guy on the cheer squad. In high school it’s mostly girls. There was one other guy, his name was Kevin. He told everyone he joined to meet the girls but the truth was he was more interested in dance and theater than the sports his dad wanted him to go out for. Not sure what Kevin decided to do after high school. SWWN: So, acrobatics is an extension of gymnastics? Frantic: Gymnastics is more of a base to build on acrobatics. The thing is, when you get into performing professionally, it doesn’t seem like it at first. You don’t just jump right into fire rings and ball balancing. You have to pay your dues and start out doing mime work. No one likes mimes. SWWN: Miming doesn’t seem to agree with you. Frantic: No. No it doesn’t. SWWN: inside an
Speaking of which, how does one suffocate invisible box?
Frantic: I’m fact, that albeit an was attack. I It’s going to to go back to
claustrophobic. So claustrophobic in just the idea of being inside a box, invisible one that is slowly closing, enough to send me into a panic have started to go to therapy for it. be a while before I am well enough work.
SWWN: Good
luck on your recovery.
Frantic:
Thanks. It was really kind of embarrassing. The doctors and nurses spent most of their time laughing at me.
89
I’ve become some sort of running joke. SWWN: At least people now know who you are. Hopefully in the long run that works out for you. Frantic: Only time will tell. SWWN: Do you support John Dyllan’s attempt to get better working conditions for street performers? Frantic: Dyllan is an idiot. He means well but he is still an idiot. What he proposes, by having laws enacted that state we can only work four hours a day and sets down how much people need to tip us will do more harm than good. In the long run, but giving us all an equal playing field, as it were, and making sure it stays that way, there is no room for anyone to stand out and shine. We all dream of making it big and become headline acts in large arenas and Dyllan and one has to work to do that. Having access to an agent isn’t going to make that happen. People need to know who we are, they need to see us, and having an assigned street corner isn’t going to do that. Some people don’t visit certain parts of town. Frantic: I think his only support from the Street Performers Guild comes from his best friend and his girlfriend so, not really. SWWN: Thanks for sitting down and doing this interview with us. We will be watching your career. Frantic: Thanks for giving me the chance to explain what happened. Hopefully people will begin to understand that claustrophobia is something really serious.
Check out Frantic the Spider’s story here: http://tinyurl.com/cxrwx6k
10
A local mirror manufacturer may have more on his hands than he bargained for. Jason Mitchell has gotten a number of complaints in the last month and a half about horses mysteriously emerging from mirrors that Sims have purchased from him. “I am not sure what is going on.” Mitchell told us. “I have been making mirrors for over 25 years. My father taught me the trade, which was taught to him by my grandfather, which was taught to him by my great-grandfather. I have never seen anything like this.” No one knows where these horses are coming from or why they are emerging out of mirrors suddenly. Many children have blamed it on their imaginary friends, but even houses without children are having this problem.
“I like horses as much as the next person,” Jennifer Hayes said, “But I was really surprised to find one in my bedroom. I ended up having to replace the carpet.” Many Sims don’t have the room or means to keep a horse and most of them are ending up for sale at the Appaloosa Plains Equestrian Center. Until the mystery is solved, Mitchell has been asked to quit selling his mirrors. He has offered a full refund for any mirrors purchased in the last 90 days.
It was thought that Sim City was in the midst of an epidemic as parents were rushing their kids in for therapy due to Imaginary Friend Syndrome. Over the years there has been much debate on if having an imaginary friend is beneficial. One school of thought believes that children who have imaginary friends are neglected and maladjusted while others argue that it’s a sign of creativity. Despite conflicting arguments on the topic, parents have been worried that their kids just aren’t normal. Other parents only began to worry after having an imaginary friend lead their child to experiment with chemistry. naturally they expected the worst.
11
The good news is that parents can stop worrying. Imaginary Friends are real. The bad news Is that the population is growing Twice as fast as it should taxing Natural resources and food Supplies. This is what is happening. For their own personal reasons children create imaginary friends. These friends fill some part of a child’s life as either a friend to have fun with or as a servant of sorts to do things like clean their room. Most kids abandon their imaginary friends once they enter school and make real friends. Some of these kids decide that they are going to keep their imaginary friend and turn to chemistry to make them real, bringing them into the world where where everyone can see them. As they become young adults, Some of these children end up marrying the person they created when they were young. There are families with three, four and five children bringing their friends to life causing the population numbers to skyrocket. currently there are estimated to 50,000 “real life imaginary friends” through out Sim City. While there is nothing wrong with these thing happening, the population has doubled. The most troubling thing about this is the fact that there are is a large number of friends who have been brought to life and the child who created them decided they didn’t like who their friend was when he or she became real and these
12
artificially created children and teens are left homeless. A number of orphanages have opened up to accommodate them. In order to help curtail the problem The government has started a public service campaign to encourage parents to talk to their children about their imaginary friends and to make sure that they are 100% sure that they understand what bringing them to life means. What kids are failing to understand is that imaginary friends are much like pets, especially after they are made real. They need attention, food, water and a place to live. They are living, breathing things that have needs and shouldn’t be discarded because a child has grown tired of them. an imaginary friend is a huge responsibility. If children and teens understood this and really thought through their actions, the population situation wouldn’t be so out of control.
Local Lunar Lakes astronaut, Kaidan Alenko Is just known as Kaidan these days as he makes his way into the world of modeling. “The best models only go by one name, so that I what I am doing.” “Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to be an astronaut. I never thought beyond that,I never considered that I could do anything else. I never imagined that I Could get paid for doing nothing but standing around looking good. Had I known that I could have saved myself a ton of money in college tuition and could have forgone military boot camp.” Kaidan told us. While this isn’t an official career Change just yet, Kaidan is surprised By the international attention he has Received from entering a local modeling contest has gotten him. “I really don’t know why I entered this contest. It’s not my sort of thing but I had some friends talk me into it. Now all these people know who I am. It’s really kind of weird. It doesn’t matter what I have accomplished in the military or as an astronaut, all that anyone cares about is that I look good. That seems kind of superficial. I am not complaining. You would not believe the number of women throwing themselves at my feet. It’s kind of awesome. What guy wouldn’t like that? I just hope that I don’t have to model underwear. That is my biggest fear, becoming an underwear model.” We are glad to know that his new found fame isn’t going to his head. Oh, and Kaidan, we would love to see you model underwear.
13
There have always been complaints about the paparazzi, from their incessant stalking of celebrities to the way they dress while doing so. In the world of fashion, Shannan Kendall takes the cake. She was recently spotted wearing clothing that looks like she purchased it on sale at Rags to Riches Consignment Store on sale. Reliable sources tell us that this is her new favorite outfit and that she wears it everywhere, every day. We hope she washes it frequently. It consists of a Katy Perry inspired ice cream top that b r i n g s needless attention to her breasts, implying that they are tasty treats . While that case, we think because there what is on f a s h i o n that is favorite outfit. could get don’t want to
may be the we will pass is no telling under the monstrosity Shannan’s If things worse we experience it.
The shirt aside, her choice of black and red stripped leggings, that are more suited to a Goth rave than as work wardrobe, coupled with a sensible black mini skirt clashed horribly not only with the shirt but with her choice of footwear, diving fins. Yes, diving fins. The Simquirer really needs to set down a dress code. The last time we seen someone dressed like this they were being treated at Sim City Mental Health Clinic on an inpatient basis. It’s important that people can tell the difference between the press,no matter how questionable their ethics, from mental patients. This is one outfit that we hope doesn’t catch on.
16
Juliet is a self proclaimed relationship expert. She answers readers questions about love, sex and relationships.
Dear Juliet ~ I am thinking about proposing to my girlfriend but I don’t know. I have heard so many horror stories about getting married. I want to make sure that I am not making a mistake. Any advice? ~ Cold Feet Dear Cold Feet ~ If you are writing me asking for advice, I think we both know the answer To this. You shouldn’t be doing it. Just where you know, those horror Stories are the product of Hollywood and urban legend. Guys don’t Scare easily so they tell these stories hoping to break up relationships Where they don’t loose their drinking buddies.
Dear Juliet~ I am not having much luck with finding suitable guys to date. The local Dating scene is much like taking a trip to the monkey house at the zoo, Complete with poo slinging. Meeting someone on the Internet is just As bad. People make up all kinds of stuff about themselves to seem More appealing. Any idea where I can meet a nice guy? ~ Ready to Give Up Dear RTGU ~ There are a million places to meet other people, including guys, around town. No one say you have to go to a bar, Craigslist or some questionable social networking site. Try places like your local comic book store, your local sci-fi or comic convention, the auto parts store, the gym, a sporting goods store, men’s clothing stores, the grocery store, the library, the mall, the pet store, book stores, coffee houses, slam poetry readings, support group meetings or the monkey house at the zoo. The important thing is You make an effort to actually talk to people. You never know who you might meet where.
17
For Sale: Women’s Katy Perry inspired wardrobe. 24 pieces, size 6. Received as a birthday present from ex and never worn. Make offer. 555-697-8321
Wanted: Clean pink rabbit costume that doesn’t smell like armpit for Social Bunny Jubilee. 555-697-5474
Social Bunny Jubilee will be Held on Aug 15 from 10 am To 10 pm in Sunset Valley Town Square.
Woman Seeking Man: Cute Vampire woman seeks man For nighttime walks on the Beach and dinner dates. Box 364785
Alien Abduction Support Group Meets every Wednesday at The Bridgeport Library meeting Room at 6:30. Snacks provided.
Psychic readings. First three Minutes free. 1-800-MISS-CLEO
Missed Connection: You were Jogging, I almost hit you with My car. Call me. 555-328-9681
Taking reservations for haunted graveyard tours of Sim City. tours take place every Saturday and Sunday during September and October. Visit our web site For more information. www.scgt.info
Found: Birthday cake found while fishing along with a rubber duck. If these are yours place call 555-328-8547 to arrange pick up. Would hurry, cake is starting to show signs of molding.
Horses for Sale: Appaloosa Plains Equestrian Center has a number of horses for sale. All colors and breeds. 555-328-4523
Donations Needed: Rags to Riches is currently accepting donations for our big Lawn Gnome Restoration Fundraiser Sale. All sales benefit restoring weathered and abused lawn gnomes to their rightful glory. All contributions are tax deductible.
Extras Wanted: Seeking extras of all Ages for Social Bunny and Friends. No acting experience needed. Visit Plumbob Pictures all week for your chance to be in the number one rated kids show in Sim City.