Tau Delta Phi Fraternity Membership Resources
During your time as an chapter officer, you will be introduced to many campus administrators and community leaders. It is important to know some basic etiquette when working with these people; a positive impression, as well as follow-up impressions, could help your organization tremendously. First Impressions Make a truly first impression: Establish appropriate eye contact, avoid colloquialisms and slang, and have the right “support materials” at hand. Have business cards with your local chapter information printed and in your wallet or book bag.
situation. Manage unconventional handshake situations by following the other person’s lead. Remember: You can use social missteps as an opportunity to display grace, wit, and poise. Names Matter Never ask, “Who are you?” Find creative ways to determine the names of people to whom you’ve been introduced. Don’t use the person’s first name unless you’re invited to do so. For Written Communications When sending out written correspondence on behalf of the chapter, use both your spell-check and human set of eyes to ensure
Handshakes & Introductions Know who should be introduced first. Typically, you introduce people to the highest ranking leader; men are introduced to women. Avoid offering a limp handshake; make sure your grip is confident and appropriate to the
The twenty-first fraternity man is expected to be comfortable in all types of business settings, including ones where they work with and for women. Refer to these tips on how you can create an equitable, gender-neutral environment. Shake hands with everyone -men and women -- the same way. The one hand, straight up-anddown handshake is the most effective and professional. Use your full name when introducing yourself. Don't be "James Page Two
any documents you send out for your organization is free of spelling mistakes. Check it carefully for grammar problems too. Make promises you can keep when it comes to sending faxes, e -mail transition, etc. For Telephone Communications When you reach someone directly on the phone, explain why you are calling. Leave enough information in your phone messages. Make a point of approaching people you don’t know; take the time and make the effort to become acquainted with them. Adapted from Business Etiquette: 101 ways to conduct business with charm and savvy, by Ann Marie Sabath
in accounting." Full names give you more credibility and identity as a professional. It is proper and legal to address women as "Ms." in a spoken or written communication. The woman may then advise you to say "Mrs." or "Miss" if she prefers it. Introduce people in business settings based on rank, not gender. Avoid touching people, beyond the one-hand professional handshake.
People open doors for people, not necessarily men opening doors for women. If someone opens a door for you, however, you should not protest this act of politeness. The host of a business lunch, the one who did the inviting, pays for lunch regardless of gender. Avoid saying "Hon," "Dear," "Son," "Doll," and "Babe," to people in the work environment and over the telephone. Adapted from Marjorie Brody and Brody Communications Ltd, 2003 .
Many of our fraternity rituals and meetings require our members to wear a shirt and tie. It is important that all our members know how to tie a tie, to prepare themselves for lives in the business world and role model Starting with these instructions, a sharplooking tie, a mirror and some patience, you can become an expert in tying a fabulous tie. Because there are several different ways to tie a tie, the tips below are for the four-in-hand; other styles can be learned by doing a websearch for ‘How to Tie a Tie.’ Stand in front of the mirror. Your collar should be up, your shirt buttoned all the way to the top, and the tie around your neck. The wide end of the tie should be on the side of your dominant hand. So if you're right-handed, the wider end should be hanging on your right side. If you're lefthanded, the wider end should be hanging on your left side.
Move the wide end over the narrow end so they cross each other on the seam.
Pull the wide end of the tie under the loop around your neck.
Pull the wide end behind the narrow end.
Pull the wide end down through the knot at the front of the tie.
Bring the wide end around. It should be facing off to your left.
Tighten the knot by sliding it up the narrow end. Make sure your tie is straight and the length is appropriate.
Bring the wide end under the narrow end again. Look for a seam on the front of the narrow end of the tie.
The four-in-hand knot is a little asymmetrical at the neck. Don't worry about this; it is normal. Many men with shorter necks prefer the four-in-hand, because the knot at top is very narrow and has a slimming effect on the rest of the neck. Adapted from WikiHow “How to Tie a Tie” www.wikihow.com/Tiea-Tie Page Three
Feeling some nervousness before giving a speech is natural and healthy. It shows you care about doing well. But, too much nervousness can be detrimental. Life in a fraternity will require its members to speak publicly before other fraternity members and in front of other student leaders. Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your skills. Here's how you can control your nervousness and make effective, memorable presentations: Know the room. Be familiar with the place in which you will speak. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids. Know the audience. Greet some of the audience as they arrive. It's easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers. Know your material. If you're not familiar with your material or
are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase. Practice your speech and revise it if necessary.
with your speech, you may be calling the audience's attention to something they hadn't noticed. Keep silent.
Relax. Ease tension by doing exercises. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths.
Concentrate on the message -not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties, and outwardly toward your message and your audience. Your nervousness will dissipate.
Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear, and assured. When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative, and entertaining. They don't want you to fail. Don't apologize. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have
Turn nervousness into positive energy. Harness your nervous energy and transform it into vitality and enthusiasm. Gain experience. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. As you continue to practice your skills, you can become a successful public speaker.
Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following questions – answers are on Page Six. 1. True 2. True 3. True 4. True 5. True 6. True 7. True 8. True 9. True 10. True Page Four
False Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too. False Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar. False If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric razor in his desk drawer. False It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how much they paid. False I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking. False If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them. False If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my formal clothes during the day. False It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance whether man or woman. False Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code. False Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath.
Regardless of our skills or education, our impact among others is lost when we are lack the social skills to know how to act around others. Fraternity life allows our men to learn how to exhibit the skills that show that we care about ourselves and each other, and make positive impact in the lives of our fraternity brothers and those in our communities. Courtesy and Respect Socially correct behavior is all about observing The Golden Rule you learned in childhood -- treating others the way you want to be treated. This means acknowledging their presence with a pleasant greeting, always remembering to say "please" and "thank you," respecting their privacy, opinions and possessions, and being a thoughtful and considerate guest, whether it is for a dinner or a weekend stay. Opening doors, giving up your seat on public transportation or simply lending a helpful hand to someone in need without anyone asking are all demonstrations of proper manners. To this etiquette list is added the necessity of giving others your undivided attention by not texting, taking or making cell phone calls, or reading a book while they're trying to interact with you. Conversations Just because you have many things to say doesn't mean you're entitled to dominate every conversation, constantly interrupt others when they're talking, or engage in loud, abrasive arguments if someone disagrees with you. If you are a socially refined person, you understand why you have one mouth and two ears and use them ac-
cordingly to encourage others, keep an open mind, eschew gossip and practice discretion. The authors of "Social Graces: Manners, Conversation, and Charm for Today" advise that you not only avoid controversial topics when meeting others for the first time but that you steer clear as well of personal questions that might make them uncomfortable. If you inadvertently offend someone or make a mistake, the socially responsible thing to do is apologize as soon as possible. Gratitude Everyone likes to know they are appreciated for kindnesses they have performed, writes Peggy Post, author of "Emily Post's Etiquette." Whether it's a card, a present or a favor, there's no excuse for not taking the time to express what it meant to you. In an earlier era, this was by way of a hand-
written note. The advent of technology, however, has reduced this simple courtesy to emails, voice mails, text messages or, sadly, no "thank you" at all. No matter how busy you are, keep in mind it will probably take you less time to compose a thoughtful response than it took your recipient to do the kind deed initially. Another important tradition that has fallen by the wayside is the gracious acknowledgment of social invitations. Never leave your host hanging by failing to RSVP or, worse,
bringing along uninvited guests. Table Manners If you dine with other people, focus on making it a pleasant experience for everyone at the table. They may not act persnickety if you accidentally use the wrong fork. However, they will notice if you talk with your mouth full, chew with your mouth open, park your elbows on the table, take more food than everyone else, burp, belch and slurp, or do a farmhouse reach across the table for something rather than asking someone to please pass it to you. Refer to the Dining Etiquette Guide for more detailed information. Public Behavior How you behave in the privacy of your home is often different from how you act once you step outside your front door. Social graces dictate your being mindful of how others perceive both you and your actions. Talking or yelling loudly, engaging in inappropriate displays of affection, spitting on sidewalks, littering, playing loud music, swearing or cutting ahead of others in lines are all discourteous behaviors. If you travel abroad, you must also follow the codes of conduct observed by other cultures. Consider your physical appearance as well. Dressing inappropriately and/or smelling badly are not the trademarks of a well-bred person. No matter your age, education or social status, modesty and cleanliness are always in fashion. Adapted from Social Manners & Etiquette, 2013 Christina Hamlett
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1. Casual dress on Fridays means that my attitude and language can be casual too. ANSWER: False. Your attitude and speech style should be polished and professional at all times. Casual attire means only your clothing is casual. 2. Business casual means a man's shirt should have a collar. ANSWER: True. Business casual means men should wear collars. T-shirts and V-neck's are not really acceptable. 3. If a man does not have time to shave in the morning before work he should keep an electric razor in his desk drawer. ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers be witness to your personal grooming habits. 4. It's perfectly okay to ask a well dressed professional where they got their clothes and how much they paid. ANSWER: False. Your office desk is not your bathroom vanity. At no time should clients or co-workers be witness to your personal grooming habits. This applies to women too. 5. I can smoke in my own office even if the building is non-smoking. ANSWER: False. Smoking is unacceptable when you are with clients and if the office has a no smoking policy you should honor it. 6. If a co-worker is dressing inappropriately at work, I have a responsibility to tell them. ANSWER: False. Unless you are the person's supervisor, keep your opinions to yourself. 7. If I have to attend a formal function in the evening, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my formal clothes during the day. ANSWER: False. It is unacceptable to wear formal clothes to the office unless the entire office is doing so for some specific reason. Bring the clothes with you or rearrange your schedule to make time to prepare for the function. 8. It cannot be construed as sexual harassment if I comment on co-workers appearance whether man or woman. ANSWER: False. Check your company policy on harassment. In business situations commenting on the appearance or dress of the opposite sex is not an appropriate thing to do. 9. Everyone should know that good grooming is an intrinsic part of any workplace dress code. ANSWER: True. Common sense dictates that you should go to work clean, neat and professionally dressed even if there is not a formal dress policy. 10. Chewing gum is a good habit to get into if you want to keep fresh breath. ANSWER: False. Chewing gum is a very rude and unsightly habit. Quickly and quietly take a mint instead.
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