The Lord Brought Me from Darkness to Light by Phillip Mayberry, Ashe County
I was raised in a nominal Christian family. We went to church more for appearance’s sake than out of a love for Christ. The unspoken rule was that we were only allowed to talk about God at church or on the way to or from the church. Anything beyond that was thought to be fanatical or “out of balance.” When I was about ten years old, our pastor had an affair... and it destroyed our church. Because of this and the way our family had been, at age eleven I rejected Christianity. I believed a person chose Christianity because they were born into a Christian culture: I told my parents that they would be Buddhist if they had been born somewhere else. I’d been baptized but was not saved. I was very bitter and resentful as I grew up. I was bitter toward Christians because I thought they were like mindless cattle, never questioning what they believed, and yet unable to explain why they believed it. I generalized my experience to fit everyone.
Spiraling Depression, Despair, Rage Weed became an obsession when I was in the 7th grade and I immediately began dealing. It got worse. I went to a Christian private school but was eventually expelled. During my high school and early college years, I was a drug user and womanizer. I was very depressed. I thought there was no hope in life. My Darwinian worldview led me deeper into depression. At 14, due to the depression, I only listened to classic rock and roll and “dark” music. I believe the
22 Summer 2011
type of music I listened to only increased the depression. At this point, I honestly think I was demon possessed. When I looked into the mirror, something looked back from behind my eyes, and seemed to be laughing at me. Cutting my arms started when I was 14. I felt such despair and rage. If there was a God, I hated him. I would get so worked up that the only time I could feel anything was when I cut myself. I searched in vain to find something of worth to replace the only true treasure, which is Christ. I lived a life that hurt people and destroyed lives. It was all about me. For selling drugs, I was arrested four times but bailed myself out with the money I’d saved from selling them.
Freedom Through Christ One night, my cousin, who’d faithfully shared Christ with me all my life, confronted me, saying: “Phillip, you know what the truth is. What is it that is stopping you from following Jesus Christ?” At that moment, I did know the truth. I had no answer for the second question! I knew Christ was the way and that Christ was true. I had no good reason for not following Jesus. All the things I was doing left me empty... He asked me to go to church with him on the following Wednesday night. When I got there I already knew the gospel: Christ died to save sinners. I felt God overwhelmingly and irresistibly calling me. I found myself completely undone, on the floor crying out to God and praying with my cousin for about a half hour. That’s when the Lord changed my heart and set me free. When I went out of the church, I walked out a free man! I still remember how the night felt! Christ completely
delivered me from ecstasy, weed, and a variety of other drugs in an instant! I’d been drinking heavily as well, I don’t believe drinking is a sin per se, but I do believe drunkenness is a sin. I was afraid I’d go back to drinking and drugs. My cousin and I prayed, and I didn’t touch alcohol for three years. The Lord also delivered me from a fifteen-year cigarette addiction over the next month.
Forsaking All to Follow Christ The Lord convinced me that his Word was true and my friends needed to know. They told me, as I preached to them, that I’d gone insane. I would take a small Gideon Bible into the drug houses and preach to the people there that God was my portion. I lost every friend I had from my childhood, but God sent other believers to be my friends and my family. Jesus told me through the Word to consider the cost of following Him (Luke 14:28). It did cost me dearly, but he has richly given me a hundredfold in this life, and eternal life in the age to come (Mark 10:30). I learned quickly that whoever does not take up his cross and forsake all that he has cannot be Christ’s disciple (Luke 14:27, 33). The church I attended as a child was a Bible-believing church that believed in Scripture memorization. It wasn’t fun and games. When I was saved, all the scriptures faithful Bible teachers taught me in my childhood came back to me, as though my mind had been instantly unlocked. I heard the Scriptures flowing in my thoughts constantly, whereas before there was only depression and hatred.
A New Call for a New Life Three months after my salvation, I was called to the ministry. I had completed
