Bringing Home Harmony

Let’s go deeper into God’s word with Rev George Sukhedo, author of "Preparing for and Fostering Harmony in Marriage."

This interactive Bible Study focuses on the wife’s role in nurturing a healthier marriage. and respect your husband.

A wife can make or break a man and her marriage. She must take care in how she lives, as commanded by Paul in Ephesians 5:15-16: So then, be very careful how you live. Don’t live like foolish people but like wise people. Make the most of your opportunities because these are evil days. (GW)

A wise wife will be sure to maintain a right relationship with God and with your husbands and guard against people of evil influence. Paul warns believers in 1 Corinthians 15:33: Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” (NASB) Even your family or best friends can lead you in the wrong direction and create havoc in your marriage if their influence is not godly.

With God’s help, you can discover your God-given responsibility in marriage. This means recognizing that:

1. You should support and help your husband. Don’t try to rule him, manipulate him, or act on evil influences as Eve did in the Garden of Eden. Genesis 3:6: “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was delightful to look make one wise and insightful, she took some of its fruit and ate it; and she also gave some to her husband with her, and he ate.” (AMP)

2. While God designated your husband as the ‘general manager’ of the home, your husband can only function with you, a good chief administrator.

3. God designated the wife as the helper and not as a replica of her husband. You are meant to complement him and assist him in his duties. Genesis 2:18: God said, It is not good for the man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion. (MSG)

4. You can and will fulfill God’s design through dependence on His guidance and power. John 15:5: I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (NIV)

Upon accepting God’s design for marriage, there are other responsibilities to remember. You should love, support, at, and a tree to be desired in order to

HOW TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

Titus 2:4 …train the younger women to love their husbands. (NIV)

Love is an attitude of unconditional acceptance, expressed like this:

1. Accept your husband as flawed. Don’t only accept him when you judge his actions as right, but accept him based on his value as God’s gift to you— whether he is right or wrong.

2. Accept his thoughts and feelings and help him to overcome the negative ones. This is an act of love and makes your marriage stronger!

3. Accept him despite his failures and help him rise from defeat. Do not criticize, nag him, or compare him with other men. That emasculates him and corrupts his potential and self-image.

Love is unconditional sacrifice. Make your husband a priority in the following ways:

1. Give him quality time, listen to him, talk to him, and encourage his wholesome pursuits. Be available in terms of time and energy. Give him physical attention, as we see in Solomon 7: 10-12: I belong to my lover and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. (NIV) Here, the wife invites her husband to spend quality time together at both the end and beginning of the day.

You cannot complete and compete

Reflection: How can you show love to your husband? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND

Proverbs 31:10-12: A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (NIV)

These verses mention a wife of ‘noble character’ not just a wife. When you support your husband, you complete the marital relationship.

You cannot complete the marital relationship and bring harmony to the home if you are being competitive. Proverbs 21:9: Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging wife. (MSG) Proverbs 12:4-5: A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones. The plans of the godly are just; the advice of the wicked is treacherous. (NLT) Wives should support and encourage their husbands, rather than make demands, criticize or condemn them.

In the scriptures, God calls this support ‘submission’. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:21-23: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (NIV)

Submission is not blind obedience

The word submit does not mean that you are inferior, stupid, or that you will lose your identity. Submission, in the biblical sense, is not blind obedience.

It is, however, a form of surrender. Submission means to work united with your husband.

You are not alone in being called to submission, though. The phrase, submit to one another, is very clear in Ephesians 5:21. This means that both mates must submit to each other, considering God’s will in every situation.

After telling both husband and wife to submit to each other, Paul then turns his attention to the wife, specifically: “submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.” This is not an exhortation, but a command. It is not something that can be adhered to or ignored based on your feelings. What does submission look like in your daily life?

First, your husband must be following after God’s heart. Then, when making decisions, there must be diligent dialogue between you and your husband. Don’t hesitate to consult the appropriate outside parties if professional or spiritual wisdom is needed. If you and your husband do not come to an agreement after following all of those steps, then you must submit to your husband’s decision. Make it clear that you disagree, but will submit to his leadership.

We often misunderstand submission. So it bears repeating that submission does not mean stupidity or inferiority, loss of identity, blind obedience, or allowing your husband to violate the law or to be physically or emotionally abusive to you.

However, submission does mean:

1. Responding to your husband with your eyes always on God’s design for marriage.

2. Yielding to your husband as he submits to God.

3. Respectfully sharing your opinions, wisdom, and knowledge.

4. Empowering your husband to lead by encouraging godly initiatives.

Reflection: What does submission look like in your daily marriage life? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HOW TO RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND

Ephesians 5:33: However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.] (AMPC)

The biblical meaning of respect is to voluntarily lift up another person for special consideration and treatment. Respecting your husband involves understanding and appreciating him not as a perfect person but as God’s gift to you. When he fails or falls short, show him that you still admire and appreciate him.

Reflection: How can you show respect for your husband?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

IN SUMMARY

Becoming a helper to your husband involves two basic responsibilities:

1. Begin with an attitude of faith and trust in God.

2. Make a decision of your will, along with faith and patience.

With this attitude, the wife has done her part in bringing harmony into the marriage, bringing harmony home.