Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

LETTING GO OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS…

“I physically left a relationship that I felt was unhealthy for me, but my mind still feels stuck in the past. It is hard to let go, especially of the guilt and shame that I wasted time once again. How do I get free of that emotional pain?”

LANA WILKINSON: Freedom comes when we give situations completely to God and stop trying to take them back, fix them, or figure them out ourselves. That isn't always easy when our hearts are broken or our minds aren't mature. I have learned that healing is often achieved through a process, like an onion peeled back one layer at a time. Physically leaving a toxic relationship won't erase your mental pain. Knowing and believing what God’s Word says about you, your circumstances and your promises, and then speaking those truths—even when you don't feel like it—closes those toxic doors in your life and opens doors to healing, understanding and power.

When I went through my divorce, I thought I was literally going to die. I was covered in hives, couldn't eat, couldn't get out of bed, and was filled with crippling heartache and fear.

I had physically left the marriage, but the devil still stirred up havoc in my mind. My mind had no boundaries set, no firm foundation of knowledge, and it wasn't renewed daily to stay in perfect peace and fight the battles before me. The Word of God says that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3), so I took time to grieve, to mourn and to feel and embrace the pain.

Then the time to peel another layer came. I filled my head and heart with God’s Word and with praise and worship. I started intentionally speaking His promises over myself, my life, and my circumstances. Things in my life and in my heart began to change. Eventually, my feelings caught up to what I was speaking and believing, and my life changed. I was able to have peace regardless of my circumstances. I was able to love myself and love others.

Shame, fear and doubt had no authority to take over my thoughts and control me. We have been given authority to take thoughts captive. We are able to cast our anxieties on God. We have already been given freedom; we just need to learn how to walk in it and do so intentionally.

Pain is a disguised gift that can cause you to grow and give you purpose and promise if you choose to peel back the layers. God always gives us a choice. He can give you your blessing through the heaviest of burdens and use all those broken pieces to create something more beautiful than you could ever imagine…if you just give the pieces to Him.

REMEMBER TO SPEAK GOD’S WORD

For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as the division of the soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 AMP

Q&A (Questions & Advice) is a column based on Romans 14:19. Here, we build up one another through godly, practical advice and share our personal experiences to lead others to spiritual maturity.