art & poetry
BY: SARA ESTRELLA BEROFF | AGE: 32 IDENTITY: BISEXUAL, POLYAMOROUS AND AUTISTIC
I have become my grandmother.
Recently, this past year, I have started to
Her gnarled hands, stiff with arthritis but too
lose my hands.
stubborn to stop sewing.
They are not falling off,
My first memory is of my hands.
nor are they gnarled.
Staring at them, pudgy and small, wondering if
Just becoming
they would grow
dis
to be woman's hands
abled
Like my mother first then my grandmother
Ironically it happened when I was serving a friend
I wear my mother's golden bangle now
a girl friend of mine
The most important part of her soul, permanently
as my mom would describe them.
part of me.
I went to grab the spoon
It is so brilliant and bright
and
I had to wait several years before I could afford a
I did not.
wedding ring bright and golden to compete.
Some days my hands work Some days they don't.
I remember the way my grandmother lost her identity.
And I feel like light from the star
She became
of my identity
dis abled.
is fading
The way she yearned to teach me how to sew better. To be a woman better.
I am so afraid I am losing an identity. I am afraid of becoming dis abled.
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