BEATING THE WORRY MONSTER

New subjects, new teachers and new friends can all be a challenge for children moving up to high school this autumn. Jo Henwood asked an expert how you can help.

While some children will relish the new independence and freedom high school brings, others may be overwhelmed by the change.

Maura Dorrian, an educational mental health practitioner with Mersey Care (below right), helps children normalise their worries and anxieties about this big change in their lives. She knows only too well how they may be feeling. “I can remember going to high school myself and it was scary but also exciting.”

Maura’s never without her collection of dinosaurs, cavemen and monsters, to help children understand the ‘fight, flight, freeze’ response we all feel at times.

As part of the mental health support team in schools, she gives children a chance to talk about their concerns and understand their body’s responses to anxiety.

“I ask if anyone has a dog and if it barks when the postman comes to the door. We all agree that the person delivering our letters is not a threat, but I explain that the dog is barking because it perceives them to be one –it’s just a natural response.”

If a child’s anxieties cannot be relieved this way, they may need one to one support or specialist services.

Maura stresses the importance of tackling the issue beforehand.

“If a child really doesn’t settle at secondary school they won’t want to go and that can lead to poor attendance.”

She says anxieties can be managed by setting goals.

“It’s important to help the child separate worries into a ‘problem’ worry and a ‘what if’ worry. They may worry about forgetting their homework, but if they’ve never forgotten their homework previously, explain how although the worry is making them anxious, it hasn’t happened.

“If they have forgotten their homework in the past, then it’s time to find strategies that will help them remember it, finding the best solutions for the child.”

Children’s anxiety can come from overthinking an issue, says Maura.

She suggests encouraging a child to feed what she calls the worry monster.

Anxieties can be managed by setting goals.

“Sometimes just writing down the worry and feeding it to the ‘monster’ can bring instant relief.”

Children have worried almost since Maura’s dinosaurs were roaming the earth, but with help, they can beat their worry bully and take their next step with confidence.

Maura and Toni use toys to help children with worries.

MAURA’S TIPS...

Maura’s tips to help your child cope with change:

SHARE YOUR STORY

Tell your child how you felt when you were their age.

Box breath – in counts of four, breathe in, hold, breathe out and hold again. With smaller children try Bee Breathing – breathe in as if you are smelling a flower and then breathe out slowly making a buzzing noise.

DISTRACTIONS

Encourage your child to become more aware of their senses. Ask them to name five things they can see, four things they can hear, three things they can touch, two things they can smell and one thing they can taste.

WORRY TIME

Set aside time in the day for Worry Time – a good time is just after they get home from school.

PRAISE

If your child’s anxiety is leading to disruptive behaviour, focus more attention on the good things they do.

LISTEN TO ME

The Children’s Society

Good Children report says happiness at school is associated with being listened to.

Across Cheshire and Merseyside specialist mental health support teams are educating school staff to better understand their pupils’ emotional needs. More than 4,000 children have been supported and

the trailblazing programme has since been rolled out across the UK.

The focus is firmly on the child and their families, parents and carers, as well as school staff. If a pupil needs extra help, they are referred by the team to the best service for that child.

Toni Alcock (pictured far left) is clinical manager for the team in Warrington, Cheshire, where the service was first introduced.

“Training teachers to identify and support children who need help is a large part of our whole school approach. Our sessions with pupils give them an understanding of good mental health. We might talk about dealing with exam stress or explain about having positive self esteem.”

“The important thing is listening to children, to allow their voices to be heard and help them get the right support at school and at home, to stay mentally and physically well.”