a reflective journal about social action from JustDane
Forgiveness is one of JustDane’s organizational values. Put simply, we approach our work with the recognition that each one of us is so much more than the worst decision, the worst thing we have ever done. We know that forgiveness is crucial to healthy human relationships. French Jesuit and theologian François Varillon once said “People cannot live together unless they forgive each other just for being who they are.” In reflecting on his work on the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa, Bishop Desmond Tutu wrote, “Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones is not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the pain, the hurt, the truth. It could even make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but, in the end, it is worthwhile, because in the end dealing with the real situation helps to bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.” Tutu reminds us that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, and so to truly forgive and heal, we must name the harm. As Tutu asks “How can you forgive if you do not know what or whom to forgive?” Tutu’s words are consistent with the work of Dr. Robert Enright. Dr. Enright is with the International Forgiveness Institute at the University of WI and a pioneer in the social scientific study of forgiveness.
Enright states that, when we’ve been treated unjustly by others, an unhealthy anger works its way into our hearts, an anger that we’re not even aware of. He describes it as a drip, drip, drip of anger onto our hearts, our emotions, which can eventually lead us to become deeply angry & resentful. It can lead to anxiety and depression, low self-esteem.
participating in our reentry initiatives have also been victims of injustices. As individuals we need to recognize the injustices done to us. As residents of this community we must name the systemic injustices committed against people, in order for forgiveness and healing to begin at both the individual and community level.
Dr. Enright says that forgiveness is a paradox. As we reach out to forgive someone who has harmed us, the goodness we demonstrate towards them starts to slow that drip, drip, drip of anger. This counteracts the toxicity of the anger, eliminating the effects of the trauma, the anxiety, the depression and allowing us to get our life back. In that way, forgiveness is more for our benefit than for the benefit of the person being forgiven. In their book Exploring Forgiveness, Enright & North define forgiveness as a willed change of heart- the result of an active endeavor to replace bad thoughts with good, replacing bitterness and anger with compassion and affection.
One of our former volunteers, Fred Reames, embodied the idea that both harm and forgiveness happen at a macro level. He was a victim of an armed robbery committed by a teenager. Fred acknowledged that he was harmed by the robbery, but he was also driven to better understand who this young person was. Fred attended the court hearings and the sentencing hearing and came to see the teen as a smart, articulate youth. Fred could recognize that this young person who had robbed him had also suffered injustices at the hands of others; at the hands of societal systems that didn’t provide the support he needed. In the recognition of this young person and his pain, Fred had begun the journey of forgiveness.
Forgiveness involves overcoming negative feelings such as anger, hatred, resentment, desire for revenge, and replacing them with positive emotions such as compassion, benevolence and even love. It is resisting thoughts of revenge, wishing the other person well, having empathy and sympathy for them. This is not to say that forgiveness must lead to reconciliation. In some cases that could be harmful to the person who has been injured. It also doesn’t mean that we open ourselves up to continued abuse. It’s important to note that the offense committed may mean that we cannot trust that person again, that we cannot be near them again, and that’s okay. Forgiveness is a decision that we make on our own timeline, if at all. In our work at JustDane, forgiveness is folded into our focus on restorative justice, the idea that harm caused is a violation of people and relationships. A restorative justice lens asks: Who has been hurt? What are their needs? And Whose obligations are these? This is at the heart of our reentry and advocacy work; recognizing that individuals can do harm to one another, as can our government and social systems. State and local policies can and do harm individuals, leading to injustices against them. We also recognize that many of the individuals
As individuals and as members of the community we each must ask ourselves what our role has been in causing harm to someone. To ask ourselves whether we can forgive those who have caused us harm, can we stop that drip, drip, drip of anger that slowly poisons our heart and work for understanding, for compassion as Fred did? And just as we desire acknowledgement and apology from those who have harmed us, are we willing to hold ourselves accountable for harm we have caused and to work to repair that harm. The journey begins with a choice and a commitment. We are on this journey with you, our supporters, we are committed to the value of forgiveness, to the importance of healing individual lives and the greater community. Forgiveness can be a long and exhausting process, but as Bishop Tutu said, it is worthwhile and brings real healing. In faith,
Fall 2023