NWI Entertainer - Feb 2014 by JWM Marketing & Web Design

FRE

February 2014

Jokes • Hot Shots • NWI Events • NWI Music • Streetsmarts Bar Directory • NWI Profile • Cocktails of the Month

Our Team Rolando Martinez

Interested in Advertising? Publisher Sales@RegionRides.com Rosemarie Stephens or Call: 219.200.3877

Contributing Writer

Got a Cool Ride?Sam Mechling Rides@RegionRides.com Contributing Writer Stephanie Vega

Contributing Writer

Ralph Heibutzki

Contributing Writer

Denise Roznowski

Contributing Photographer

Designs by Mark

Publication Design

800lb Design

Ad Design

NWI Entertainer is a monthly publication by NWI Entertainer LLC. All rights reserved. Production without permission is strictly prohibited. All photographs & articles submitted become the sole property of NWI Entertainer Magazine.

February 2014

Northwest Indiana Music

Northwest Indiana Get Fit

Gold Key Records

Classic Bodyworks

Monthly Features

Suds & Cocktails Your Fortune Awaits Street Smarts NWI Dinning

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William Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Steakhouse

NWI Bar Directory Cocktail of the Month Advertising & Submissions NWI Entertainer LLC 6212 US Hwy 6 â&#x20AC;˘ Suite 170 Portage, IN 46368

Sales Roly Martinez 773-416-0665 Rolym05@comcast.net

12 18 28

For Kevin Krizmanich,

The Song Is Everything Written by Ralph Heibutzki become a fan of the artist myself – which recording or performing, he works as an The performer is always the focus of any would include their talent and songwritaudio technician at Notre Dame Univerlistener’s attention. However, it’s easy to ing ability, among other things. I am defisity’s DeBartolo Performing Arts Center. forget how much effort occurs behind nitely a big fan of Steve as a songwriter “The best way to talk to a drummer is to the scenes to help an artist bring his and musician.” know what a drummer feels, when he’s vision to life – and that’s where Kevin playing the drums,” said Krizmanich. “It Krizmanich comes in. Best known locally Although Krizmanich can’t discuss spegets you respect from a musician. My for playing with Alligator Blackbird, The cifics, he expects to follow up with a cougoal is to be as clear as possible, to conBergamot and Midwest Hype, Krizmanple more releases soon. What happens vey my thoughts.” ich is stepping into a new venture – as next, of course, depends on the public an owner-operator of a new indepenresponse – but, after his experience with Asiala agrees that he benefited from dent label, Gold Key Records. “I’ve met Piles Of Promises, he’s looking forward working someone of Krizmanich’s abilso many talented people in my travels, to the next chapter. “It’s just a way to ities. “Kevin was really helpful with arespecially in this area, but nothing has take the cream of the crop from the ever really brought it all together,” area, and try to bring them into a said Krizmanich. “It’s just a way bigger spotlight,” said Krizmanto bring (out) my recording talent, “The best way to talk to a drummer is combined with the talents of the to know what a drummer feels, when he’s ich. “That’s the main thing I look musicians.” playing the drums. It gets you respect from for – good songwriting. My goal is take to whatever they’re trying a musician. My goal is to be as clear as to convey, and use music to tell The label’s name nods to possible, to convey my thoughts.” the story.” Krizmanich’s roots as a keyboard player, but works on multiple levLive: Release party: Saturday, February rangements: ‘You whistled this melody els, he feels. “Gold Key also represents 8, The Pool, 330 W. Colfax, South Bend, during the bridge – what if we made it finding all the right pieces to unlock a IN. $5 suggested donation; time to be a mandolin solo?’” recalled Asiala. “He song or an artist’s full potential. I’d like announced. was really helpful, as far as instrumentato think that my label has the key to do tion, in that context.” this for any artist that we decide to work More Information: with,” he said. The public’s introduction acebook.com/goldkeyrecords In Asiala’s judgment, Piles begins on February 4, with Gold Key’s facebook.com/steveasiala Of Promises reflects the release of singer-guitarist Steve Asiala’s pop-folk blend that he’s solo debut, Piles Of Promises. been honing for several years now. He cites artists Krizmanich produced and engineered like John Mayer and Bruce the album, whose momentum sprang Springsteen as models for from a casual post-gig discussion after a the standards that he tries Bergamot show – where Asiala was the to reach in his own work. opener. “After the show, he (Krizmanich) “Any time you hear a Bruce said, ‘Hey, I really like that song, and this Springsteen song, I think of song – have you ever thought about rehow everyone can immedicording those tracks?’”said Asiala. “It ately identify with whatevwas the first confirmation that now was er he’s singing about,” said the time to do it.” Asiala. “In writing, I try to get to that same level. My Krizmanich called on several levels of interest is in being accessiexperience to get the job done when reble.” cording got underway last summer. Although mainly known as a keyboardist, From Krizmanich’s standhe plays bass, drums, guitar, trumpet and point, working with someukelele, as well. one like Asiala is the whole reason he started a record Krizmanich studied music engineering label. Asked what it takes to at Ball State University, and – prior to get his attention, Krizmanstarting Gold Key – worked briefly at a ich responded: “I need to recording studio in Chicago. When not

One Liners

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius! Q: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Chuck & Irene’s • Hammond 6110 Kennedy Ave

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q.When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A.When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice Q:Why did Tigger look in the toilet? A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

Suds & Cocktails

your foRTune awaits Written by Rosemarie Stephens Between the Polar Vortex and Lake Effect Snow, this winter has proven to be nothing but cold, annoying, and inconvenient. The only “good” that has c o m e out of b e ing

trapped indoors has been the amount of alcohol I’ve been able to consume to help keep me warm! Some nights, it was beer, others liquor. But then, I came across the perfect combination of both, and I find myself longing for more! It’s called Fortune, and it’s a new brew being introduced by our friends over at MillerCoors. Fortune is described as a beer “with edge, intrigue and charisma” and after sampling it myself, I have to agree. Miller Fortune comes in a beautiful jet-black bottle, whose bottleneck shows an “M” for Miller inside a spade playing-card logo. Distributors say it’s the “trump card that turns any night into that night.” This golden lager packs a punch, coming in with a 6.9% alcohol by volume content, and what sets this apart from other brews is the fact that Miller Fortune is a bourbon-flavored beer. With Fortune, the brewer hopes to recapture

drinkers who have shifted to liquor. “Everything you see about the brand is informed … by the expectation of spirits drinkers,” MillerCoors VP-Innovation David Kroll said in an interview. He said he expects that consumers and bartenders might even pour Fortune in a short glass rather than a traditional beer pint. Alright, let’s get into the specifics of this brew. When you crack one open, you are immediately invited by its malty cues and subtle citrus notes it’s a little sweet smelling. When you pour it in your glass – and for the sake of drinking as intended I used a short glass – I immediately noticed the rich golden color – that’s probably from the caramel malts. After staring at how pretty it looked in my glass, I decided I had to go in for my first sip. YUM!!!!! The moment it hit my lips, I knew I was going to be in love, and is went down I knew I was right. It was light, a little sweet, and bold all at the same time. And when it went down, it was crisp, clean, and refreshing. Over the years I’ve drank a lot of Miller beers, and I’m going to go out on a whim and say this may just be my new favorite. Miller Fortune was a great surprise and I can’t wait to drink more of it! - NWIE

STREETWALKER: Wendy Marshall TASTES LIKE: a tanning bed filled with bologna NICKNAME: “Meat Ruffles”

STREETWALKER: “Last night, I pooted in a client’s car. That shit smelled like a pet store dumpster fire! He swerved so hard, I thought we were gonna die!!!”

STREETWALKER: “In high school, teachers used to call me “Slimer”, like from Ghostbusters. A girl gets caught eating birthday cake out of the trash one goddamn time…”

STREETWALKER: “I’m with you. My shit is so tight: when I piss, it comes out as mist!”

Created by: Sam Mechling

Avoiding an embarrassing St. Valentine’s Day

WINO: Jesco Duval SMELLS LIKE: a truck stop Koala Kare diaper changing table. PERSONAL QUOTE: “I’ll finger paint with your goddamn blood!!!”

WINO: Paulette, a caseworker from Hammond asks: I’ve changed my diet, but my body still produces an abnormal amount of gas. Can you help me, please?

“Oh, man. One time, I blew the NASTIEST fart in my dog’s face! It looked like he stuck his head out of a car window on the freeway!”

WINO: Brad, a mechanic from Hebron, asks: I was over“Don’t ask me, man. My dick is weight in high school, like a Nintendo cartridge. It hasn’t and have lost weight been blown on since the 80’s.” since, but I’m still very shy around girls. Any advice?

Janie, a veterinarian from Portage from asks: My husband and I have been struggling with our sex lives for years, due to the small size of my “area”. Is there anything we can do?

WINO: “I feel you too, girl. People always ask me if I have rice in my pubes. I’m just like, Nah, that’s my dick.”

We are one month into the New Year – who’s still following those New Year’s resolutions to lose weight?? If you are still going strong – CONGRATULATIONS!! If you’ve fallen off the wagon, NO WORRIES – there’s still plenty of time to get in shape before bathing suit season is here! As moms, we oft e n find it hard to make time to get in a workout - between our jobs, school activities, and d i n n e r, a good workout gets on the bottom of our to-do list. But if you want to sneak away some time, at any moment you can squeeze in free, then a trip to

Classic Bodyworks in Portage is where you should go. Why?? For starters, they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!! That’s great for some us insomniacs who are up in the middle night thinking about all the things we need to do - or for others who have 2 hours smack in the middle of the day with nothing to do while we wait for our child to finish up preschool! Need another reason? Well, Classic Bodyworks in Portage, located in the Meadows Shopping Center, is a place try and true, and a family friendly atmosphere! For nearly 20 years, this family owned and operation full service gym has been offering its patrons plenty to choose from. The over 20,000 square foot facility is ran by father and son team Alan and Lucas Sabedra. Since 1995, Classics has offered a friendly and clean fitness facility with a helpful staff. OK, what do they have to offer?? Well, for those who enjoy the ba-

Written by Rosemarie Stephens sics, you’ll find about two dozen treadmills, ellipticals, and stationary bikes. While you get your cardio workout in, you can tune into one of the various TV’s on the wall. And a wide selection of state of the art cardio equipment is just the beginning! There wide selection of weights and machines work different areas of your body and build muscle. And what many may enjoy is that the weight area is separate from the cardio area. Classics has personal trainers that will show you not only how to use the machines right, but what exercise regimen is best for you! If machines are you’re thing, but workout classes are – you’re in luck! Classics offers a wide variety of classes! Classes like Toning and Pilates, Cardio-Kickboxing, Muscle Mayhem, Fat Blast, Boot Camp, and Zumba are just some of the classes being offered. All classes are included with your monthly membership fee. The classes do change however according to the demand, so be sure to check with Classics on

which classes they are currently offering, and at what times. Now, if you think you can’t work out because you are a mom at home with your kids – that’s always my excuse – Classics offers babysitting for those 6 months old to 12 years old. Their hours vary, so be sure to call ahead!! Baby-sitting is normally available during their classes. Working out is just one step in the getting healthy process. The other is nutrition! Classics has a really awesome Pro Shop that serves up smoothies and drinks, vitamins and supplements – you can even grab a gallon of milk on the way out!! And if you are in need of some workout gear, Classic carries clothing and accessories. Other “extra” Classics offers include

yoga, personal trainers, and Hizstrength with Minister Troy Johnson. Hizstrength is a causal get together, where every Friday people meet for prayer, a little music, and inspirational words. For just $24 a month, you can enjoy a gym that’s open 24 hours, offers a wide variety of equipment and classes, and so much more. For more information on all that Classics has to offer, call (219) 762-7277 or visit them on the web, classicbodyworks.net.

Woodhallow • Schererville 221 US Highway 41

Miley’s Confession

Miley Cyrus goes to her church after the VMAs to confess her sins to the priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “Tell all of your sins, my daughter.” “Oh, Father, last night I twerked a married man on live TV,” Miley says. The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, “Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.” “Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?” Miley replies. “No,” the priest says, “But it’ll wipe that smile off your face!”

Tried it, But Didn’t Like it...

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, “No thanks. I don’t drink. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it.” So the bartender said, “Well, would you like a cigarette?” But the man said, “No thanks. I don’t smoke. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it.” The bartender asked him if he’d like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, “No thanks. I don’t like pool. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be here at all, but I’m waiting for my son.” The bartender said, “Your only child, I’m guessing.”

Spend Vale Valentines Day is coming up, Gentlemen. You had better have a plan unless you’re happy with being in the doghouse. Forget the typical flowers, nix the sweets; those tired ideas won’t work on a woman of 2014. Anything next to a gold encrusted iPad isn’t going to cut it these days. But, there’s still hope if you’re looking to do it right, and do it affordable. This Valentines Day give William B’s Steakhouse a thought because as you’re scrambling to figure out what to do, they’ll save you all of the trouble. Featuring a Valentines Day Special that’s no joke, William B’s is doing it BIG. Make a reservation and she’ll think you did all of this hardline research, when really they had

entine’s Day at William B’s a plan all along, AKA saving your fur. If you’re trying to avoid the typical Valentines crowds, the special runs from the 14th-16th and its $99 for the two of you. For less than a night of hard drinking with your buddies, eating top quality food sounds like a plan. This isn’t some chintzy “what am I paying for meal” either. Gentlemen, any chance you get to eat steak, you take it. The choices for The Valentines Day Special are what make the menu so spectacular; it’s fine dining for patrons of every walk of life, and what’s even better? It’s inside Blue Chip Casino, so dinner is only a portion of the fun. When I think of love, I think of craps tables, and slot machines – or maybe that’s just my childhood? Who’s judging, anyhow?

You’ll need to make a reservation, Check out the some of your options and you must be over 21, and that’s at William B’s for their Valentines Day it. All you’ll need to do is bring your Special, and tell em’ we sent you! wallet and your stomach, and the fine chefs at William B’s will take care of Now that you’re chewing on the magyou. Ditch the usual frustrated waitazine, get out the cell phone and ing game, head over to Blue Chip, make a reservation now. You’ll regret play a few slots, enjoy a compleit if you don’t. mentary cocktail while you’re hitting the blackjack dealer right in the Rack of Colorado Lamb with Minted Demi Glaze money maker with Tomahawk Bone-in Ribeye Chop with Burgundy Peppercorn Butter 21’s, and get some lobster afterward. Center-Cut Chateaubriand with Sauce Bordelaise Now that’s how Filet Three-Ways: Lobster, Asparagus & Béarnaise, Jumbo Shrimp you do Valentines & Tomato Scampi, or Domestic Mushrooms & Sauce Diane Day. And don’t even think about buying her a stuff Cinnamon Swirl Sponge Cake with Valpo Velvet animal unless you Vanilla Ice Cream topped with your choice of Bananas enjoy the couch, Foster or Cherries Jubilee, served tableside chief.

Dinner Choices

Desert

Upcoming Entertainment! Thursday Nights

Howl at the Moon Dueling Pianos • 9:00pm

Friday DJ Nights February 7, 14, 21 & 28 DJ Entertainment every Friday in February!

Saturdays 80’s Retro & Dance

The evening starts here . . . Then parties into the night!

February 1 February 8 February 15 February 22

Too White Crew Dick Diamond and the Dusters PS Dump Your Boyfriend Hey Jimmy

Open for Dinner Thursday - Sunday 5:00pm – 10:00pm ©2014 Blue Chip Casino. Must be 21 years of age or older with a valid state or government issued photo ID. Don’t let the game get out of hand. For assistance call 800-994-8448.

MICHIGAN CITY, IN | BlueChipCasino.com

BCC_28720Fja_Feb2014NMIent_AD 7” x 4.25” 1.17.14

DIRECTORY

V.I.P Lounge

Whiting

Boomers

2522 Portage Mall

219-763-7300

Sportsmen's Corner

1200 120th St

219-659-9695

Curly Joe’s Bar & Grill

2528 Portage Mall

219-763-0195

The Office

2008 Indianapolis Blvd

219-659-1070

El Cantarito Mexican Cuisine

6291 Central Ave.

219-762-1900

Mark O’s Bar and Grill

2385 Willowcreek Rd.

219-763-3779

Mood’s Pub & Eatery

2548 Portage Mall

219-762-7305

Quaker Steak & Lube

6245 Ameriplex Dr.

219-764-9464

Red Carpet Lounge

6481 Melton Rd.

219-762-7485

Rusty Nail

2420 Dombey Rd

219-850-4675

NWI ENTERTAINER 19

Back Court • Crown Point 932 S. Court St

Close Your Curtains!

Joe says to Willy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re fucking your wife! The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.” Willy says: “Well the joke’s on them stupid bastards because I wasn’t even home yesterday!!!”

Indecent Exposure

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?” She says, “Why, officer?” “Because your breast is hanging out.” She looks down and says, “OH MY GOD!!! I left the baby on the bus again!!”

Jason’s • Hammond 3949 Hohman Ave

COLD FRONT. 22

Homemade Cookies

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Iraq a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over to his tent and they’re all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of an episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend a blow job. After a few seconds, he release’s in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, “By the way, I want a divorce.”

For Women Only...

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “ All the men here have it short and thin.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here have it long and thin.” Still, this isn’t good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here have it short and thick.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here have it long and thick.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

Silver Bullet • Crown Point 1 00 N Main St.

Latex Factory Tour

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud’ hiss-pop’ noise.’ The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,’ explains the guide.’ The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.’ Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a’ Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop’ noise.’ Wait a minute!’ says the man taking the tour.’ I understand what the’ hiss, hiss,’ is, but what’s that’ pop’ every so often?’ ‘Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,’ says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.’ ‘Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!’ ‘Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle business!’

Cider!

A little boy hurts his finger, runs in the house, and calls out to his mother. “Oh,” she says, “let me get a band-aid for that.” “No!” cries the boy, “Cider!” “Cider?” the mother exclaims. “What on earth do you want cider for?” “Because,” he explains, “Sis says whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she likes to put it in cider.”

Track Lounge â&#x20AC;˘ Crown Point 318 N Jackson St

Cocktail Month of the

Bar: Woodhollow Bartender: Mark Drink: Lava Bomb Ingredients:

Smirnoff Strawberry Orange Sour OJ Grenadine Quote: “A lava bomb hit the car!”

Quote:

Photos by: Denise Roznowski

Bar: Back Court Bar Bartender: Robin Drink: Fruity Pebbles Ingredients:

Bar: Jason’s Bartender: Heather Shot: Pancake Ingredients:

Blue curaçao Creme de banana Bacardi o Quote: “Fruity pebbles with a big kick”

Jamison butterscotch shots Orange juice Quote: “Breakfast of champions”

Bar: Track Lounge Bartender: Mickey Drink: Scooby Doo Ingredients:

Bar: Chuck & Irene’s Bartender: Rachel Drink: Wet Kiss Ingredients:

Midori Melloni Malibu Half/half Pineapple juice “Scooby Dooby Doo”

Watermelon Pucker Disaronno Sweet & sour Sprite

Quote: “Sweetest thing you’ll ever taste!” 28

The Bet

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The barkeep comes over to them and asks, “What can I serve you gentlemen?” One of them says to the barkeep, “I’ll bet you a pitcher of your finest beer that I can lick my eye.” The barkeep says, “I’ve had guys come in here that could lick their nose but never have I ever seen one that could lick his eye. I’ll take that bet.” So the guy reaches up, pulls out his glass eye, licks it, and puts it back in his eye socket. The barkeep says, “Damn, you got me.” He brings the guys a pitcher of beer and goes about tending the bar. When that pitcher starts to get low the barkeep comes back and asks, “Are you gentlemen ready for another?” The same guy answers, “I’ll bet you another pitcher of your finest beer that I can bite my ear.” The barkeep hesitates for a moment and looks at the guy’s left ear, his right ear, and says, “There’s no way you’ve got an artificial ear. I’ll take that bet.” The guy reaches up, pulls out his false teeth, bites his ear with them, and puts them back in his mouth. The barkeep says, “Damn, you got me again.” He brings the guys another pitcher of beer and goes about tending the bar. A little later the betting guy is drunk, gets up and staggers over to the bar and lays a $100 bill on the bar saying, “I’ll bet you a hundred that I can pee and fill 10 shot glasses lined up on the bar with their rims touching without spilling a drop on the bar from 3 feet away.” The barkeep says, “It’ll be worth $100 to see that so I bet you can’t do it.” He puts his own $100 on the bar, lines up 10 shot glasses and steps back. The drunk whips it out and pees all over the shot glasses, the bar, and the floor. The barkeep picks up the two $100 bills with a smile on his face, gets out his towel and starts to wipe it up. He then notices the drunk is smiling and says, “I just made $100, you just LOST $100, why are you smiling??” The drunk says, “you see they guy over there I’ve been drinking with all this time? I just bet him $1,000 that I could come over here, pee all over the bar, and that you’d wipe it up with a smile on your face.”

Miso’s Overflow • Hammond 6309 Kennedy Ave

Harry’s Grandma

Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. “When I was a girl, you could go out with a dollar and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken.” “Yes,” says Harry, “that’s inflation for you.” “It’s nothing to do with inflation,” says grandma, “it’s all them fucking security cameras they have nowadays!”

A Freshly Shaven Face

A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard. “I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face,” she said. “My wife loves this beard, honey,” he replied. “I couldn’t possibly shave it. She would kill me.” “Oh, please?” his girlfriend purred. “Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!” The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in. That night, John crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. His wife stirred, felt his face, and said, “Oh, Robert, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”

SAME GREAT TASTE. LIMITED EDITION CAN. There was a time when all that existed was heavy beer. Thanks to a special brewing process, the invention of Miller Lite changed beer forever. Made to be a light beer with more taste, this limited edition can celebrates the Miller Lite tradition of giving you everything you want in a light beer and more. Horizontal logo with gold drop and no gradation on red

MILLER LITE. THE ORIGINAL LIGHT BEER.