How to taunt the enemy? A guide to a wayward life

How to taunt the enemy? A guide to a wayward lifeRW

#poetry, #instructionmanual, #choreography, #joke, #horse, #tonguetwister, #wordgames

First find enemy Glance at enemy from distance

Gesture choreography to be executed slowly Stick out tongue Expose red interior skin by pulling down lower eyelid Grab crotch Draw 1 finger across throat Hold fist with thumb and index finger, extended in mirrored L shape in front of forehead Draw 2 fingers across throat Stick out tongue. Move it up and down Fist with middle finger extended upwards Draw 5 fingers across throat Point of thumb on point of nose, wiggle fingers

Get big horse Sit on horse Gallop in circles around enemy -laugh-

Shout insult ‘It looks like a banana just pooped on your head.’ -laugh loud-

Find food enemy likes Put food on rope Throw Move it farther when enemy comes close

Find weak spot like belly Take long stick Poke belly -make others laugh with you-

Let enemy repeat tongue twister ‘Otho quarreled Vitellius’ quality to quasi quick quote ‘whiter weaker wrenching words welcome weasel waffle woo. Softened soldiers sting ladies’ latest irritated living pusillanimity love in snow.’ Fine foam freaked Vitellius forming fifty filthy forms of doe saying: ‘When a twister a-twisting will twist him a twist, for the twisting a twist, he three twines will entrust; but if one of the twines of the twist do untwist, the twine that untwisteth untwisteth the twist.’

Sing happy birthday Bring cake Throw cake in face -roll on ground laughing-

Get back on big horse Let horse sit on enemy -laugh so hard you cry-

Shout ‘Your mother…!’

Dance choreography to be executed fast Wiggle ass at enemy Move arms back while crotch forward, repeat Caricature enemy Moonwalk Point of thumb on point of nose, wiggle fingers Draw 5 fingers across throat Grab crotch -laugh hysterically-

Tell joke ‘What vegetables are a sailor’s enemy?’ ‘Leeks’ -laugh, wink, laugh, wink, laugh-

Tell joke ‘Is it a crime to put sodium chloride in your enemy’s eyes?’ ‘Yes, that’s assault.’ ‘I know it’s a salt but is it a crime?’ -spit out saliva while laughing-

Run circles around enemy Moonwalk around enemy Wiggle ass around enemy

Tweet ENEMY DOES NOT EXIST!!!!!!!!! FAKE NEWS……….. IT WILL LOSE WHEN I BRING IT DOWN

Shout insult ‘your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries’ (Monty Python)

Gesture Expose red interior skin by pulling down lower eyelid

Let horse fart in face

-horse laughs, rolls on ground and accidentally tramples enemy-

Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975