dream games
Alternative Olympics
Let the world go wobbly as we enter a parallel universe of street sports in our dream Olympics
Shoreditch Stuck In The Mud For this game, you’ll need a trendy DJ, an empty dancefloor and ankle-wearing hipsters standing still until the freshest tune hyped by blogs/social networking sites becomes old (the tune must be made in the club). When it drops, you must make them come unstuck from the dancefloor.
The Disposable Deed Catch an OAP or young mum struggling with copious amounts of shopping after their weekly shop. It’s your goal to take their bags and place ‘em on your hands and arms like a moving scarecrow. Carry the bags to the desired location and then see how many members of the public you can help in a single day.
Evening Eavesdropper People on public transport are always trying to read the paper over someone’s shoulder instead of grabbing their own free copy. Game: who can read the most articles without being caught by their fellow passenger? Winner: the one who recites the most words.
Bus Me A Seat Take a couple of your friends and get on a bus from the starting destination. Sit separately on the upper deck, with an empty seat next to you, and do your utmost to prevent other passengers from sitting next to you. The winner of the game is the last person with the adjacent seat still vacant on a busy vehicle.
Street Slang-Off Rudeboys and rahs meet in a spelling bee-style tournament. Medals are based on whether battle terms are legitimate according to Urbandictionary.com. Official adjudicator is Adam Deacon.
Illustration Natalia Nazimek 21
Words Christian Adofo 23
Smart-Social Smartphone users hold onto their gadgets for as long as possible, looking at their screens regardless of who is talking to them or what they’re doing. The victor is the being who cotches in their noncommunicative coma for the longest.
Balloon Bulldog Get a load of water balloons and a mass of mandem and galdem. Following the same premise as British Bulldog, run from one end of a pitch to another without getting soaked. The winner will be the driest lone ranger in the wet, wet west.
The Dead Poets Reality You and your friends must each recite from memory a popular piece of poetry from a renowned wordsmith in public, a la charades. The winner is the person who has a member of the public correctly guess the name of the poet. Note: rappers are not allowed.
Scotch Bonnet Screwface The poise and concentration of a beefeater outside the Tower of London are needed here. You and your opponent must eat an equal amount of scotch bonnets before you attempt to outstare one another. The winner is the one who remains zombie-like regardless of the tears streaming down their cheeks like water down Niagara Falls.
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