A note about LANGUAGE

As our understanding of suicide evolves, the language we use when discussing it needs to change. Advocates believe that the use of direct, neutral language helps eliminate the shame and stigma associated with suicide.

OUTDATED language UPDATED language

“Committed” is how we talk about crime or sin, and it reinforces the false idea that suicide is a choice.

“Committed” suicide

Instead, use “died by suicide” or “killed themself.”

Describing a suicide attempt as “successful” or “unsuccessful”

Why would we frame a tragedy in positive terms?

Instead, try “died by suicide/survived a suicide attempt.”

Suicidal thoughts are scary.

Scary to experience yourself, and scary to hear that someone in your life is struggling with suicidal thoughts.

It’s important to remember that an overwhelming majority of people with suicidal thoughts do not attempt suicide.

What research tells us:

#1 Share

#2 Ask #3 Support

You know how sometimes something just

Maybe they have withdrawn from activities they once enjoyed.

Or it almost seems as though their personality has changed — they’re more “down” or “up” than usual

There could be a very good reason why they’re struggling, such as the end of a relationship or the loss of someone they love.

The first step is to share your concern.

“I haven’t seen you around much. What’s up?”

“Tell me about what’s going on with you.”

“I know you’re having a rough time, so I wanted to check in.”

This is an opportunity to practice listening to understand.

Reserve judgment and focus on what the other person is telling you.

Most of us aren’t that great at this! The good news?

As with any other skill, it gets easier with practice.

Sometimes, you don’t need to go beyond this step. Maybe the person you’re talking to is going through a hard time, but they’re dealing with it pretty well. Maybe they aren’t struggling as much as you thought they were.

But what if the person you’re concerned about expresses feelings of hopelessness, or feeling trapped or in unbearable pain? What if they disclose that they’re struggling with basic caretaking tasks, such as bathing or getting enough to eat?

Let’s say your gut feeling was right, and this person you care about is in a bad place.