Survivors // Amelia Phommachanh

I think it's important for me and my generation to remove the stigma around mental health, to step out and be a voice for those who feel voiceless.

My platform for Miss Kansas is “HEAR for you suicide prevention.” The “H” means help, the “E” empathy, the “A” is awareness, and the “R” is real.

I want to have real conversations and share my real, vulnerable story about my challenges with mental health and suicide. When I was around 14 years old, I started to develop mental health issues that I didn't know what to do with. My parents were going through a divorce at this time, and I had lost hope in a lot of things.

I didn't know about the resources available at that time. I grew up in a home where suicide prevention, mental health — anything of the sort — was not mentioned. Growing up in an Asian and biracial household, it's hard to talk about that type of thing with my parents. I just didn't know what to say.

Around that time, I tried to end my life.

At such a young age, I didn't fully know what that meant, but I knew that I didn't want to be here. I felt hopeless, like there was nothing left for me.

Through social media, I talk about things like mental health and suicide prevention. I've made videos showing the glamourous sides of my life and also the sides of my life where I’m crying and struggling.

And it's really important for me to remember that the emotions I felt in that moment (when I tried to end my life) aren’t eternal. Now I work with kids in the community, and I talk like this and I become vulnerable. I share my story so that they can feel like they have a space to share their own. Because nobody should feel victimized by the mental health issues that are going on inside their head.

At the end of the day, I am a survivor and I wear that proudly across my chest. I am not here to be ashamed of my story, but to share it to bring awareness and hope to others who struggle just like me — just like all of us.