Goodbye 2022 – Hello 2023

Reflecting on Moving Forward

Reflections on the life and times of a pandemic: More of the same or will we try another tack?

Around the world for the last year, all we have heard is that we need to catch the children up academically. From the first time I heard this statement in 2020 after just the first six months of the pandemic, I was concerned. It immediately places everyone in a deficit mode of thinking. And yes, so much was lost for our children from the babies who are now delayed in their development and to those who missed milestones. But not all was lost. It leads me to ask the questions: What is education? What are we wanting kids to catch up to? What is the yard stick we are judging the kids from the pandemic by?

Very quickly I arrive at this answer: What is the point of catching up? To just make everyone feel bad and ‘behind,’ instead of celebrating their resilience and celebrating their new skills learned from home? For my daughter, that was learning to bake, sew, make videoes, to project-manage her day, to reach out to friends on zoom - even to be alone but not lonely. Kids learned to know how important a community around them is and to realise that no one thrives in isolation. We learnt a lot. I was at a conference in 2019 in London for the launch of a mental health curriculum for secondary schools and the CEO of the largest supermarket, Sainsbury’s, shared that they no longer hired for skills but rather for attitude. The shift came when realising that so many skills would be changing due to technology, and core skills would no longer be the key to success; they were simply looking for someone who was not only mentally intelligent, but also socially, emotionally intelligent!

What do our children need more of?

• Anything that builds their relationship with themselves and others, such as time to spend playing board games with each other. So many learn great skills whilst playing, including reading, maths, negotiation, loss, winning or joy.

• They need clear consistent ways to communicate how they are feeling and know how others are feeling. See the 1-5 Rating Scale that asks, “How are you feeling?” It is shown to reduce anxiety and improve feelings of confidence in themselves and learning.

• Walk and talk! Research shows that walking can have enormous positive effects on conversation, including stimulating cognitive process, creative thinking and fostering trust and cooperation as well as reducing cortisol. Hey, presto! Could one very simple thing that you could activate is a daily hikoi/walk? In Scotland, a Head Teacher of a secondary school decided that they had to walk a daily mile irrelevant of weather. The results were so impressive that a whole movement was founded. Everyone gets out and walks or jogs for 15mins (the average walking pace for a mile). The benefits on behaviour, health and well being are tremendous. It isn’t rocket science. Everything the science tells us is everything a nurturing, loving, connected adult has been doing for eons. How we are on the inside emanates out of us and creates the environment, which others can either feel safe and secure to explore…or not. You actually can’t “fake it ‘till you make it” because the kids are like basset hounds-they sniff out fake in a millisecond. Which is one of the joys of working in schools - children being themselves, moving authentically, running, skipping…nothing is a straight, linear path. Yet we spend an awful lot of energy trying to get them to all fit into the square peg. If we can let go of our tension and stress to get them over these lines of accomplishment and focus on helping them feel secure within, they will learn and they will achieve.

Creating a school environment where everyone can thrive is not some utopia but rather science. If you follow the science it all leads to the truth that connected, calm, centred beings are able to explore, build, make and philosophise. We are naturally amazing - just ask any biologist. Offer regular 15-minute wellbeing sessions for teachers and all school employees. Using practical and simple tools in the classroom can support everyone to feel connected and regulated to their bodies so they can thrive.

Vanessa is a leading Integrative Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist with 18 years experience. Her speciality is bringing Life Skills for Mental Health and Wellbeing Programmes to school communities. She has returned to New Zealand after 30 years in the UK and has a wealth of experience delivering these services. In the height of the pandemic, wellbeing has come into focus, so Vanessa works globally delivering online to Europe, America, Hong Kong and Australasia.

Vanessa can be reached at: vanessamchardy@gmail.com