Zero (7

Just a Thought...

You Did That on Purpose

Do you remember having childhood disagreements where a teacher would utter that most cutting statement, ‘You did that on purpose’? You would then leap to the defence of your actions citing 173 reasons why this absolutely was not the case and hoped you would not have to wait it out, sat for an age in the naughty corner!

I have often thought on those Halcyon days with a greater degree of wisdom than I had at the time (age will do that to you). I think that we were supposed to feel that doing something with intent and therefore ‘purpose’ was something negative. I understand that was probably because the intent in question was to put glue into Melanie Smith’s hair (32 years too late but, sorry!) However, as we have grown older (not ‘up’ – that’s optional and I have opted out!) I think we rather fear living ‘on purpose’. We have desires and dreams that smoulder in our soul but when we dare to consider adding intention to this heady mixture with the outcome of a purpose, we simply stop and put the lid back on that package of possibility.

Maybe we need to tap into our childhood vim and vigour when it comes to really going for something in our adult lives. So next time you find yourself musing over whether to change career, run a 5k or buy that Penny Farthing (I still want one) I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, visualise the splat of the glue in dear Melanie’s hair and GO FOR IT! Live your life full of intent and absolutely ‘On Purpose’. If you don’t, there will be a seat waiting for you in your favourite corner…

By Fliss Goldsmith of Belper

Life List: Break-Up Presents

These days, everyone seems to get recognition, whether it’s baby showers for men (when did they become ‘baby showers’?), sports day participation medals, a 100% school attendance prize, or redundancy greetings cards.

If you ask me it’s a slippery slope, but it does suggest a niche market for my new separation concierge business, Break-Ups Inc.

• Duplicate DVD box sets and albums, so no one loses out. May require negotiated access and extensive research. Photo albums too, for anything not already defaced by scissors or jam.

• New social media identities for each of the combatants – I mean, former partners, complete with fake identities and pictures. And never the twain shall meet.

• Separate appointments with a financial advisor, but not one either of them has recently started dating on the quiet.

• A top ten list of recipes for one, or ready meals for one, depending upon skill, aptitude and access to condiments.

• A skydiving voucher (refundable) to experience something scarier than the end of a relationship. This one does contain a parachute. • A speed-dating invitation (redeemable for up to a year) because they need to get back on that horse.

• A solitaire set each, to remind them of their newfound independence.

• The game, Twister, for when it’s time to start socialising again.

• The Little Book of Excuses (e.g. it’s me, not you).

• A blank notebook, entitled: All the things you didn’t do well. Both individuals complete their copy and then swap. It’s the perfect parting gift.