What It Takes to Heal

Blessings to you and your generations of freedom from this network as you read and pray the prayer strategies.

Agape Kathleen.

As Christians prayer is absolutely necessary to uproot and demolish and to be delivered from all spirits attached to this stronghold. A powerful key is inviting Jesus Christ into this stronghold by taking Him as Lord and Savior verbally, single in each and every area. This will give Him the legal right to takeback, to demolish, to cast out and heal each effect.

For example, Father, Lord Jesus Christ, I take You as Lord and Savior where incest and or pedophilia and or sexual abuse has happened to me and or where I have committed it. I surrender this area of my body soul and spirit to Your Lordship, I renounce the spirits of darkness that have housed themselves here because of me being sinned against and or me sinning by committing incest and or pedophilia and or sexual abuse to others. I take You as Lord and Savior in my personality and the false personality of ________. I take You as Lord and Savior where shock and trauma has lodged in my nervous system, in my actions, in my mind will and emotions. I take You as Lord and Savior in ______________.

I was moreover a secondary victim, trauma so deep, paranoia and fear. I had personalities, and much more mental illness due to these acts. He taught me to pray the same prayer for other areas that are known as a result of this act and its fruits. Father, Lord Jesus Christ I take You as Lord and Savior into my fear, my phobia of incest and pedophilia, my paranoia, my traumas, the traumatized body soul and spirit, my personalities – name them, my mental illness, my counting, my phobia that men abuse sons and daughters, my fear, my ___________. I surrender these areas of my body soul and spirit to Your Lordship, I renounce the spirits of darkness that have housed themselves here because of me being sinned against and seeing and knowing my family my child my linage and knowing others were sinned against by incest and pedophilia, Amen.

Prayer will not uproot the full effects of incest, we have to heal, we have to be walked out of each and every aspect where it has had its tendrils, as it is in every aspect of our lives. This can take years and years and years. Same as spirits they may not all leave in prayers as they are attached to certain behaviors or for example, drinking, overeating, gaming, masturbation, porn, you will discern what you are bonded to, He will let you know, He brings these bonds of iniquity to death, don’t strive, don’t get into works of the flesh. He is like the silent achiever, at work to will and to do in us. He will reveal unseen personalities, all bonds of our iniquity and our transgressions.

Spirits of darkness are under The Lordship of Jesus Christ, so do not focus of them.

“Who are they?” Nobody, give them no credence, no recognition, do not even reason with them. They are defeated at Calvary, we are no longer owned by them, we are redeemed back even if they indwell us or are over us. The Spirit of Christ Jesus told me once they are just dogs on leads as He holds the lead; they are all under His Authority legal grounds or no legal grounds.

You may not realize how fortified the stronghold of trauma can be as it is a large offshoot to the tap root of incest. Imagine the carrot, it is a taproot of a plant, now imagine that taproot has formed into two roots from the one plant. Therefore, incest and trauma come from or are part of the one plant.

Trauma is rooted deep, after many years, a traumatic event or the reoccurrence of incest in your grandchild(s) life may happen. You may have stopped drinking or drugging or

overeating or? However, because trauma runs so deep another centimeter will surface. If you do not use the keys the knowledge or surrender a new event to Jesus Christ it will remain or go back buried. You will not be able to fully uproot the carrot so to speak.

So, you pick up a drink or a drug again because it happened again in your bloodline. It can be that you stopped the healing process to early so your soul has not been fully healed. Or a stronghold of trauma has come back due to other life events and you have not continued to apply the keys or prayed it through. Maybe you have not spiritually matured as a Disciple, or you have not found enough skills and or keys. Or you choose not to use the known skills or keys, or did you surrendered this new event to Jesus Christ to invite Him in to lessen the impact, instead like me I went back to an old coping mechanism.

Living life in general can be traumatic in some cases. Truth is trauma strategizes to reinforce itself for you to remain fragmented so you cannot escape and or uproot the strongman’s house of trauma and or the trauma of incest. The other events or a new incest in your family causes you to revert to your wounds so you go to a happy place. To a coping mechanism which may be alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, food, adultery, sex, child sex, incest, pedophilia, shopping, perfectionism and so on.

Jesus will never force you to heal or grow up spiritually or grow in healing. We must partner with Him and if so to say I am willing to be made willing; ask Him to minister to you when you are asleep, when you are awake, to speak to your inner person so you can continue to uproot and become one soul. We do have instinct to survive, and healing is one part of our instinct. You and I used various ways to survive, good bad and the ugly, but instinct is in all of us.

He knows the pain we go through when we decide to heal, when we decide to find ways to live with the reality that it happened. We cannot change that it happened, the show must go on, but we can heal and learn to live with that reality, and it is far from easy.

He knows we will get through it and He knows for some there may never be absolute healing or total closure, however I believe we can come to a place of peace. It may seem we may never heal when we are in the midst of pain, whatever stage, whatever fruit we may be or because life sends us curve balls. But it does lesson with commitment, and we do heal in so many ways; we do find the keys to continue to face the monsters and we do find ways to understand and overcome so as to heal. We do apply a Christ mind to all things in life, it comes with sitting at the feel of The Healer and Teacher. Commitment is a major key, as the song’s lyrics goes “put your hand in the hand of Man who stilled the waters, put your hand in the hand of the Man from Galilee”.

I am reading a resource, a Kindle book The Courage to Heal: A Guide For Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, the fourth edition by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. I am gleaning so as to make this book effective and informative and believe it will trigger whatever and will bring me more healing and some more closure. I recommend you do a search and buy the book, full of counsel, hope, healing and testimonies. If you are a male, this book is pertinent and beneficial to you also, and I recommend it as healing is general.

That saying, “the only way out, is the only way in”, sorry we have to face our pain, squeeze the boil, so we have to go through it, cut it open. I wrote this book, Prayer Strategy for Secondary Victim of Pedophilia and Incest and this book, Prayer Strategy of Judgment to Break the Back of the Pedophile Spirit.

These can be found at https://issuu.com/kathleenmalligan they were part of my healing

process. I tell my story, my struggles, some of my healings in those books. Now writing about the incest spirit I am believing for more understanding and more overcoming keys for more healing so I can get free from my phobia of incest and pedophilia.

I have written other books found at that site, many on Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality as this is one of the fruits of incest and pedophilia. Because I had the fear of men, fear of marriage and having children to men, fear incest would happen, and I believed men molest or would definitely incest my children it bent my sexuality. Fear took me to attraction to the same-sex and brought forth a phobia of incest and pedophilia.

I was homosexual for sixteen years, living with three different women. The crazy thing is the last woman of ten years where I had a child in was a pedophile. Discerning and then to discover she was molesting my daughter since a baby until two and a half years of age when I caught her just threw me a six.

Herself being a victim of incest by her father and it went on till she was eighteen years old. I believe she had a daughter to her father; the child was retarded. Not long after we met, child was put into an institution. That girlfriend always had a character defect of being secretive, non-talkative about pasts. Any wonder she hid so much, as I look back, she would have been committing pedophilia to various children she baby sat and her own daughter who so stiffened her legs when her nappy was being changed. You know what? The Holy Spirit told me she was a pedophile, three times, yet I had no compartment or no knowledge that women molest I thought men only did this, so I ignored the warning. In reflection I have seen my mother handle a baby with no nappy on in such a perverse way. She was a victim of her father incestuous behaviors, even at visits when she was put into the convent as a child.

I am a secondary victim in so many ways. I believe my grandson was being groomed by a boyfriend of my daughter when he was a toddler. I sensed to go check him under the inspiration of Holy Spirit and found him stroking his belly sideway above the nappy line. It appeared to me that it was inappropriate, and the man’s intent was sexual grooming. That sent me into trauma, and that my daughter turned on me from that day to aggression, not believing me over this one-month stranger!

As for God, I was furious, “How did you let him into my house God”, “why did you allow my daughter to hook up with a pedophile,” “I’ve prayed,” “I’ve broken the curses off the generational lines.” “I came into the church and to You so You would protect me and my daughter” “We are not even safe with You God!” F U, I’m done with the heartaches and trauma of being Christian, so I got drunk to numb my realities, and unhealed fragmented soul.

I did not recognize that I had entered into trauma, had not named it. I know I dissociated lots to cope in life, one personality I had was 14 and childish funny and happy that I often went into, it would so annoy my daughter, but I had no control over its power base.

No, I did not realize what I was going through was how trauma felt or that it was trauma. I had lived most of my life traumatized not labelling it trauma but anxiety or fear; for a few years, drowning it with drugs sex and alcohol. Post-traumatic stress disorder, I guess I lived in it, functioned in my dysfunction. Those sick feelings surfaced at triggers and surfaced when I perceived that event of my grandson. To add my daughter seemed hard on her son with correction and I had come from an abusive childhood of dad hitting mum, so I was triggered back in those memories that caused dissociation in the first place.

Well the only way I remembered to hit those sick feelings on the head was to self-medicate with alcohol. After all I was pissed off with God and I was not going to yield to Him or do it His ways, He allowed it and I was faithful walking upright in all my ways. Not to mention the trauma I was experiencing for just being a Christian. The constant demonic spiritual abuse with torment and sexual rape from unseen entities disguised as intercession. Spirit voices of torment, fuzziness in my ears, coupled with the rejection by church members for once being a lesbian, so no friends, and no honor or recognition for being a leader in this Nation, F U God, I went for time out.

Then there was no success in ministry because I wrote on the demonic side of homosexuality, F Him I was done, I had enough of Christianity and I am mental because of warfare, works of darkness, and the reality that spirits exist and have all the bases loaded and I cannot get past first base! The enemy strategized everywhere they could, even old school friends disregarding me so obviously after we all connected when we were fifty. I lasted nine years applied Christ’s teachings in my heart to cope with them; but I had to respect myself and leave their Facebook page and no longer meet up on weekends away.

My daughter lived with me from then on for four years after my perceived suspicion of her Melbourne boyfriend grooming and a possibility of molesting her son, it was traumatic, so I remained drinking. Her yelling, her hitting for uncalled reasons, her anger at me triggered my traumatic childhood. I come from a large family or noise yelling screaming and our father hit our mother to black eyes and bruises. He took us on many terror rides to say he was going to kill us all; even parking the car down an embankment near the water to say he was going to drown us all.

Through this traumatic filter I saw her as abusive to her child and to me to aggressive that I could not come home unless I was drunk. How could I ask her to leave, I had to protect the child, she missed it! The effects of her living with me is that sorrowful that I cannot even live on that side of the house or enjoy being on the side of my house where she lived. I do claim this is my home and I am getting more comfortable; however, it now makes me money on short term stays.

So, yes 4 years of daily drinking, trauma kept and enlarged her borders. They snuck up on me with their legal grounds to fortify, to dig deep and to bring ruin because I would not give that area to Christ Jesus. Financial destruction of $66,600.75 did not even make me sober up. The enemy slapped me in the face with their stamp of a triple six - 666 –gleefully telling me “we got payback and we gave you more devastation”.

As learned as I am, as anointed as I am, I am still healing from the offshoots, the effects of incest and pedophilia, trauma my tap root; trauma held me unfunctional all my life until only of late have I seen this strong grip and identified it. I am a long way ahead and I believe I am not free as trauma from religion has to be healed and trauma of demons has to be healed.

The phobia of child abuse that I lapse back under I do believe I can see a big light at the end of this tunnel; however, I have to use keys I know to keep it in check. He brought me to the place that I did not have to look for it, think of it or assume someone was doing it or is a pedophile. He told me He had this and if I needed to know anything He would give me the discernment. So I stopped focusing on it and put my trust in Him. Thank God, it did not torment me like it did, or do I fear it like I did, or do I speak about it as much as I did. I have come to the place of “it happens” and I can only do what I can against this act, there is no need to fear or worry about what it or what ifs or what it does to people or that it is happening, He has this.

I have realized fearing it does not, and will not and I cannot stop all people committing incest or pedophilia; where free will is, sin is and so are unclean spirits on the earth. Every person is responsible for their children and their welfare, I realize that is a blanket statement, but I am sure you get what I mean.

Hypothetically, I cannot even stop my daughter committing incest to her son; even if she has been taught right from wrong and the ways of Christ Jesus or she knows my fear of it and the damage it has done to me mentally, she has free will, she has the ability to be or not to be no matter how obsessed I am or was or feared these actions.

Bottom line is, if she or anyone can be an incest perpetrator it was their choice to yield to the darkness out of the corruption of their soul. There is a yes but if that is the case as I have been given and have many keys of the Kingdom that can hinder, abort, stop, catch and judge any person when The Spirit of Christ Jesus informs me. This is the major reason I write this book to give the keys I have learnt and gleaned. To disarm and judge, to come against this horrendous act and the spiritual network that is the power base to this act.

As it has been said before “the power of the unjust exercised against the weak is cruel, horrible, inhuman, simply terrible. But fortunately, it is not compared to other powers that are innate to human beings like the power of a survivor who wants to take back the power they stole from the powerless, the instinct to survive. Sadly, there is no abuse of power that does not leave a mark that does not scar you for life. When the time has come you know the time has come to take back the power away from those who wielded it corruptly and continue to abuse it.” 1.[ movie cable girls episode 38]

I have been sick in the head for years because of this sick act, why did this affect me so deeply when I have no memory of being a victim of incest. I had many years of being at peace in my Christian walk when I trusted Jesus, and when raising my daughter. However, I did tell her to be aware and did ask her was she safe or look out for that man or when it seemed not right, I would ask is he a safe man or woman. I tried not to be out of balance and not transfer my fears onto her, sadly it got twisted by the voices of darkness and I did. I traumatized her certainly not on purpose. I could not win anyway; the enemy was going to twist as much of my parenting to get back at me and remain in my family line regardless.

Initially when she came home with an eight-month-old son I was at peace and trusted Jesus would protect or tell me by His Holy Spirit if or when it was happening. Yes, He did tell me and give me the discernment of her visiting internet boyfriend who she only knew online for a month to go and check him. He had got me to the place, and I had to learn not to look for perpetrators or see certain traits or actions as suspicious, as it is was triggering and unhealthy and hindered my peace and trust in Him so I never looked at him as being unsafe, this is why I was able to receive His words in discernment to check my grandson.

Over the next four years of drinking at times my thoughts became irrational, my phobia lived again. Once I asked the grandson did the teacher make him take his pants off because he showed me a pen, she gave him. I did not know she had come back from a holiday and gave all the kids in her class at day care a pen from her snow trip, I just jumped to conclusions.

She screamed “you are not going to do to him what you did to me, you made me fearful of everyone, go, stay out of our lives” and “you have wrongly accused that man.” She told her new boyfriend that I would accuse him of being a pedophile sooner or later so I was commanded to stay out of their lives for I would just cause another boyfriend split, I did not and have not.

We do not talk often to date, early days she put on me guilt trips for being a bad parent for being drunk those four years. Her threats you cannot have the boy, we will not come and see you. Her air of power and control just compounded my PTSD and trauma stayed in rule and never any apologies for her abusiveness, I was glad she did not want me in her new life; besides I could keep drinking with my mate trauma.

I have forgiven her and understand her. I have waited at the gate prophetically on a chair and make declarations. “Father I prophetically wait at the gate for my daughter. Today is the day of salvation, today the prince of this world will be cast out.” I’ve sung the Name of Jesus over her and against the darkness in and over her life, saw breakthrough and communication levels increased, not total restoration.

He asks me to trust Him here, so I have gone back to leaning on Jesus to sort it all out. I am believing He will guide the reconciliation; I am doing well. I’m doing well in my healing of fear and irrational thoughts. Of late there was a man and his Philippine girlfriend and her nine-year-old daughter living on the other side of my house for a year. I did not fear him abusing the girl or did I worry, or did it trigger me, I’ve just trusted if Holy Spirit wanted me to know anything He would give me the discernment and the keys on what to do.

I know now if that man/woman has free will, he/she can and may not sin. It is not my problem unless it is revealed to me, I need not dwell on it or look for it or think about it or fear it any longer. I give that phobia no more power, I receive deliverance and healing. I have suffered enough with that irrational fear and worry about the endangerment of strangers or loved ones being sexually abused.

I am still learning not to talk on the subject or vent any pain. I think I am awfully close as I have been practicing self-control. I yield when I want to by inviting Jesus into my conversations daily. If the spirits project this against my mind to think or speak about it, I go to a memory of my happy place as a child and say these thoughts are not mine, and He honors this by putting them to flight.

This mental illness has caused me to lose a close relationship with my daughter, potential friendships, customers and other family members because they say and infer I am obsessed with the subject. I know I never got closure and I talked to anyone about it as I was suffering, tormented, and spiritually tormented; and I did not want to suffer in silence, sad thing is I kept no boundaries, talked to anyone.

In sharing my pain, I never came across a person who could counsel me or help me heal, would there ever be someone? I have a thing about going into the doors of a counselor or a therapist or a psychologist. I know their demons, and if mental health got a hold of me our enemy via their demons would have me certified, classified and medicated, and could hold it against me in my older age and you lose many freedoms. I’ve always discerned there was an assignment of darkness to drive me into mental health, keep me down and unhappy, to want to get me under the ways of the world system of mental health. Once you are in, it is held against you, they do not believe in total healing most do not believe in Jesus or spirits of darkness, to them you are just a looney and healing is never possible.

Over many times in my life I would have been certified as having schizophrenia because of hearing spirits. Split personality as I would go to the 14-year-old personality, my family used to call this Silly Cyrille. In my youth I was border line obsessive compulsive. I was super clean, I would count all things, put things in line of highest to lowest, analytical, I had a measure of a need to be in control of my life. Most of my life I had paranoia, the phobia that the majority of men are child molesters and will molest any children I have. Especially if I marry them and when I did have a daughter I was on guard of men. Post-traumatic stress disorder over the last years, I supposed they would diagnose me with an anxiety disorder to seal the deal.

I had depression after the car accident, I had wanted to die many a time and could not care if I got a disease or died prematurely. I seldom showered or cleaned my teeth, isolated myself and was full of self-pity. I choose to take medication offered by the GP; the little blue pills and they worked as I feared getting Covid-19 because God had let so many things happen to me. Spiritual warfare has and is hard yards, they take everything they are allowed to take, and now it is just me the dogs and cats.

Jesus knew all my pain and issues and ways I would act out and fall to pieces, I had walked with Him too long and knew too much on the kingdom of darkness. I have always trusted Him as I know He heals, and I knew there was a generational spiritual power base to all

my mental illnesses and due to environmental causations and sins against me and my own sins. So I stayed away from mental health I was not going to allow the kingdom of darkness any more access into my life through their medical health professionals assessments spirits had enough grounds. Or allow these doctrines of demons who taught you to live with it via medicine and classification, there is no way out of classified mental illnesses.

I have gone back to how years ago He did teach me that He will let me know if I need to know if it is happing. Otherwise my relationship to incest and pedophilia will not change, it will still have a power grip over my body soul and spirit and the circles of life I live in will be brought into my pains. Neither will I be loosed from the false burden I have carried of known peoples and strangers pain of powerlessness because of incest, and pedophilia.

I might add here I have lived my life as if it happened to me, yet I have no memory of being sexually abused. However, I did have in prayer counselling a vision of my eldest brother asking me as a three-year-old to touch him, seemed like a one off. Also, he, my brother was committing incest with three sisters. I have no memory of seeing this but possibly I did as a toddler.

My fears my pain came from tormenting spirits telling me they would molest my daughters if I married a man. Also, people and the spirits would tell me the knowledge of neighbors, friends, school mates, friends of my sisters that were being sexually abused by their fathers and could not get away from it. I received secondary trauma from one sister who told me of those in the neighborhood being sexed up by their fathers, fueled on by spirits and fuel from my generational spirits they twisted my mind. So of course, I thought if I married a man, he would incest my daughters.

I have only found out of late that my mother was sexed up by her father. I saw my mother once nurse a baby boy with no nappy on. He was her grandson and her face was full of glee and her hand was on his belly and the pointer finger was pointing down close to his penis and the other fingers were curled up. I can only image was she a perpetrator also; she idolized her three sons. I have no knowledge of her molesting them, two are dead and the other I do not speak to. I could never trust him because he had sexually abused our/his niece as her brother watched as children. Regardless they were close in age, it was still incest, and he crossed a moral boundary thus spirits of darkness were in and over him, so, he was too high a risk, a bad influence.

That spirit network tried to come against my mind over my life, but I had such trauma to the act that I did not yield. I became aware of emotional incest as a new Christian and as I raised my daughter from two and a half by myself with God of course, I was always careful not to make her my surrogate girlfriend/partner or a friend. She would say “I want you to be my friend and my mum” and I’d always say, “I am your Mother, not your friend” and she would literally cry. I allowed her to express her feeling and challenge me, I was supportive, not mean or a hitter, but a talker, a peace-keeper because of my traumatic childhood. Only problem was I did not realize in the long run I was giving away my parental power. I had to remind her often I was the Mum, and she was the kid. Would not have mattered how I went about mothering my daughter, the spirits would have twisted that and found a way to bring deception and lies to her mind.

In writing this book, it is my hope that not only my future generations but others who read this book will pass it on, will fight to break the cycle of incest. I hate the fact that it has given me brokenness. I guess, I would not have ever written this book or many others, could have lived without it though, and hopefully my rewards in the next realm are worth the suffering and hopefully the books will be used by ministries after I’m dead.

So I will stand against this monster and say, “thus far and no further, I take back a thousand generations devil not only in the natural but the spiritual, you will no longer