Book 1 By Knowing Your Purpose & Holding Onto The Vision by Kathleen Malligan

Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality By Knowing Your Purpose & Holding Onto The Vision

Book 1 1

Unless otherwise indicated, all scriptural quotations are from The Interlinear Bible – Hebrew Greek English. Jay P. Green, Sr. General Editor and Translator, sovereign / grace Publishers Lafayette, Indiana 47903 U.S.A. Book 1 Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality By Knowing Your Purpose & Holding Onto The Vision Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba Toowoomba Queensland 4350

© Copyright 2014 by Kathleen Malligan © 2014 Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba All Rights reserved on teaching material Kathleen Malligan All rights reserved, apart from any fair dealings for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the copyright act reproduction of text in whole or in part without the express written consent by the author is not permitted and is unlawful according to the Australia Copyright Act.

Cover Design by Kathleen Malligan Printed and published by Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba PDF file transfer by Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba

www.facebook.com/departtotheotherside www.understandingandovercominghomosexuality.com www.overcomingandunderstandinghomosexuality.com triumphantministriestoowoomba@yahoo.com.au

Contents

Introduction

Counsel

Prayer Strategy

End Notes

Bibliography

Acknowledgments

Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Releasing Hearts 4

Introduction

In our boat, we cannot take a detailed book on how to survive the storms of life and as we know some lessons have to be caught than taught. But without books on knowledge we will not be able to stay on course for we will be washed back up against the shore. Vision is a vital part of staying on course for without vision we will not want to continue to the other side. A heart with a vision finds the storms and the changes in seasonal weather bearable to keep the boat sailing. This heart of vision has to be given and fostered supernaturally to ensure we continue on, and Jesus longs to equip us with Himself to fulfil the vision. There will come many opportunities to give up and many times we will become ensnared in the adversary’s net that will cause us to want to turn our boat around and return to the shore of Sin. Many times we will yield to our flesh and the adversary’s schemes especially if we do not keep our minds renewed and heart focused believing that we can take a hold of His lifestyle above our same-sex attraction and our vision to come to pass. Truth is with a vision or vision of regeneration, restoration you will waver, and you will even want to be restored quickly so you will never have same sex attraction. If you have a vision attached to a calling, you will want to be in ministry way before your appointed time, but we know that truth has to set us free and with any gain there is a process and pain. Therefore, by this book and the others in the survival kit you will need a word from His Spirit you will need to be encouraged and built up and mostly counselled for the sea voyage is no P & O Cruise. I do not promise you a universal truth of change, some change some don’t it is so complex, that’s the truth. But you can live His way of life in His Power in His Presence choosing Truth with any memory or desire in same-sex attraction. By these books, I know He will guide you just as He has guided me counselled me and taught me through all my writings. As you seek to hear Him and seek spiritual direction through the writings He will speak to you, and this will open your eyes from darkness to light and keep the Wind in your sails that you continue to keep the vision before you. Stay faithful, for faith and belief will be released to keep your eyes on what lies ahead than what goes on in your head. Stay in the boat Agape Kathleen Malligan 5

Counsel

Doubt And Fear

The journey may reduce us to tears when it seems that it will never become a reality as “after all aren’t we really gay?” “Didn’t God make me this way?” Have we interpreted the prophetic words correctly when there is no one around us, and there is no support? No one who seems to understand and believe in us and no one who can encourage us! With the adversary on my tail and my emotions frail I have wept much, much time on the inside, but I’ve had to give little attention to the tears within so as to press on to the upward call and the prize set before me. I have wavered screamed and went silent to a Holy God, who just could give me a Moses and let me get on with loving and marrying the same sex partner. But no, I am to live a life consecrated to Him and to take the journey to depart to the other side that I may take a hold of the high calling of king and priest for service to Him and my fellow struggler. Have I liked this? No many times my flesh has screamed it’s not fair I want to be married to the same sex and live before You with my wife. However, you and I know that The Word teaches that brokenness curses and our perception of our environment have caused us to gravitate and desire the same sex partner. We were not born with this want, but pain and sin brought forth a twisting in our soul with other contributing factors. Does the Shepherd of our soul know all this? Yes. He makes a good Leader, He knows how to heal, change, transform and train and teach and make us responsible sheep and we know we have assurance for: “But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers … My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow Me.” John 10:2-5, 27 Everything will be all right everything will be fine, it will all fall into place, but we will fall down we will get up we will fall down, and we will get up and the darkness will get many victories.

But this will drive us to learn, to fight, and to see ourselves and our weaknesses and strengths. This will cause us to fine tune our heart with our ears and listen to the voice of the Shepard of our journey to become king and a priest unto Him.

Identifying The New Man / Woman From The Old Man / Woman

We will have to come to terms with not only our individual self as we become sanctified but also the vision towards the newness of identity. Further, we have to see the difference between the called gifted self being moulded by Jesus as opposed to the natural self after the anointing dissipates. I am not referring to our basic personality type, but the interweaving personality of the calling and the mantle on our lives as this has to be understood and integrated so as to understand our self and our transformation; otherwise we will be torn between the two and not realizing why our mind or senses waver. The day comes as we get closer to the other side our identity and His identity will marry up. Our mind will and emotions take on the identity of the new man, and we desire more to be His king and priest than the old sinful man / woman.

The Hardest Place Is In The Waiting

Elijah had seen the power of Yahweh, walked in his mantel of a Prophet, displayed signs and wonders only to walk away and sit under a tree with his old friend’s self-pity and fear. What a victory he saw and experienced as the prophets of Baal were slain by the servants of Yahweh and what a song afterwards to hear when people cried out “The Lord, He is God! The Lord, He is God” (1 Kings 18:39) yet when Jezebel said she would slay him as her prophets had been slain “he ran for his life.” (19:5) How quickly after he won the battle did he lose his victory; how quickly do we lose sight of what Yahweh has done for us and has shown us and what He has spoken to us about our tomorrows. He has told us over and over again, what He has worked in us to get us thus far; what He has shown us of His great deliverance over and over again yet when the devil 7

lies and when our soul rules we run back into former desolations to fill up the bottle and drink from the sea of death of self-pity and fear. Perspective is easy to lose when we refuse to stay in the training we have learnt thus far and when we refuse to recall to our soul what the Lord said and what the Lord has done to get us to where we are today. Self-pity will make our perspective seem like all has failed, all has been a waste of time “I’m never going to be free of same-sex desire and I am called for the ministry I should be in it by now” - “look the kingdom of darkness is moving ahead in the world and against me greater than what I am seeing in the Kingdom of The Great and Powerful Living God Yahweh.” When the truth is, we have backslidden, lost patience, lost sight of the big picture, lost what we know to be the truth, lost fellowship, lost walking in discernment of The Spirit, lost sailing towards our vision and lost faith and belief. So we lose the plan the purpose the work He has set before us; therefore, we cannot see for looking. Consider if God had answered Elijah’s prayer and ‘put him down’ killed him like he requested - “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:5) how would he ever have come to fulfil the call and purpose on his life? Elijah walked in unbelief; he walked by sight, not by faith and most of all his self-life - his self-centeredness caused him to forget everything. “The man who loves himself is lost, but he who hates himself in this world will be kept safe for eternal life.” John 12:25 NEB Take another look within, now turn your eyes back to Jesus; the work He began He is well able to complete, and He will get you to the other side and open the doors not one day before and not one day later. Therefore, draw on Jesus the wells of life to be strong and to stay steadfast whilst you are in the making and the waiting.

You Will Lose Sight

Do not crash and die when you lose sight of what you are called to achieve. Truth is you have set out, and you will achieve what He has set out for you to complete. You will overcome your flesh and step into ministry calling and you will one day intertwine wholeheartedly with the calling of king and priest. Keep the sound of TRIUMPH in your heart and live, yes live; stand up and listen again in your heart of the sound of triumph.

How Close Is Close

You are closer today than you were yesterday and last month; so you have to stand and stand fast with the vision in your mind and spirit. The enemy loves to murder you at the threshold so your dirty laundry can be sent all over the globe. So if warfare is strong and their battering rams are hitting hard, stand and do not yield to anything that would destroy your testimony. Forfeiting any part of your soul for any form of the lusts of the flesh will bring destruction and victory for the kingdom of darkness, and we do not want to lie in the arms of the enemy. You are on the King of Kings side; therefore, do not yield to any temptation that the false army of Anti-Christ and Jezebel or Hell and Death brings against you. Keep your mind renewed, keep your mind renewed and keep your mind renewed. Stay seated with Him in the third Heavens keep them under your feet raise your hands in surrender to receive a fresh anointing of The Sword and Breath of The Spirit so you can stand steadfast immovable and strong in the strength of His might. Yes, you can stand, yes you can stand, and yes you can stand. Your battle can be fought and won on The Rock Lord Jesus Christ. Put your hand in His hand and allow Him to keep your feet planted firm. Choose to stand, and you have to choose to stay standing on The Rock and not to go into any cave to sit with sin and iniquity.

Target Your Weakness

Your unhealed weakness and your past iniquities will be the reason and target the kingdom of darkness will come against you. Especially when you are getting stronger and serious for Jesus and even more so when the doors of the ministry are close to opening. Keep in mind when you believe the doors of your ministry are about to open you will find narrow ones need to be opened first; so it is here in the waiting there will still be more waiting. Yes, you can wait, yes you can wait you have waited this long, therefore, wait for His appointed time.

There will be easy battles for the darkness, especially when you are fragile because you have lost sight of the vision and fed up with being consecrated and no mutual love. Maybe you think it is not the direction you feel it should go; or that it will never come to pass, or you will just not make it, or it has taken so long and you know the lifestyle change and or mark on you in the spirit for His Kingdom plans and purposes is more than you can bear. If you have yielded recall we fall down then we get up, yes we fall down, but we are to get up. We do not allow our fall to bring the reason for the kingdom of darkness to paralyse us or blind us. In Him, we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins and strength that surpasses understanding. Forgive you, guilt and condemnation is not our fruit to eat, forgiveness and understanding is the fruit to eat, release yourself stand again and go forth once again. I know the battles; I came very close to considering yielding to temptation; yet in this I saw that I loved Him and He was my destiny and His Kingdom living was a way of life that was/is wonderful and it would one day be worth the battles I withstood against me, not only for the transition and vision but for the reign and destiny of eternity.

The Liar Called Lonely

Feeling like we are all by ourselves yet surrounded by people can be taken out of perspective if we do not realize with any restoration and high call there will come segregation before integration. Loneliness is and can be real, but it differs from solitude or separation for His work to be done in and over our lives so as to be ready for ministry and to become His servant king and priest. If we are feeling unwanted, unloved, not needed, ignored, resisted or we have accepted a friendship with someone whom we would not have chosen ourselves or the person â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; gave us is not our choice, our heart will still be in a state of loneliness and has not truly accepted the segregation. I came to see part of my pain is a false sense of loneliness, and my contenders against my vision are able to work against me because I had not pinpointed this truth. Feeling sorry for myself had made me lose sight of the reality of what is and what will come to pass.

Realizing and pinpointing the heart enables us to move forth and causes us to take a reality check and to put our eyes back on the bigger picture and remember once again it is not all about self, but trusting again as He who is Able will bring you forth and any vision forth.

The Journey Is Progressive

When it seems as if no one is supporting you or no one still believes in your vision or that no one believes He could use you or call you, recall only two out of the spies sent or it could be said out of the whole congregation in the wilderness of Sinai these two Joshua and Caleb believed and followed Moses. Consider also when Jesus was to change the Covenant there were only two members on the Sanhedrin, who followed Him, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus. No, don’t be surprised if you are resisted everywhere you go and don’t be surprised if no one believes in your call or your potential or your vision or you full stop. Our responsibility at present is to accept the call on our lives and press towards the future of its fulfilment. Our reaction is to wait and accept it will unfold in the waiting – move forward soldier and keep moving forward. Don’t give up.

You Are Pregnant

Therefore, walk towards the vision as if that is exactly what you see in front of your eyes for this is the truth your stomach is enlarged, and you are waiting for an hour of birthing.

Your Suffering Is No Different

John, the Baptist, had his wilderness time he was separated for years and years before the day he stepped into his ministry, and he was around the age of thirty according to the Hebraic custom? He was trained; he was moulded, he suffered loneliness, hardships, and sorrow must have taken his heart in times of isolation and separation. 11

To add he would not have been accepted by many and ridiculed and disliked and challenged and his doctrines and understanding of Scriptures would have differed greatly from those around him. At times, he would have wanted to throw the towel in and go back to his people in the cities around Judea and the Galilee, but no he hung in there. The devil would have much time made his heart disagreeable to the call on his life. Made him think he was not going to make it out of the caves in the wilderness to fulfil the call on his life, but God came through, fulfilled the promise He gave him as a vessel set apart – Kiddushin unto Him. As we wait for our restoration and appointed time we too will then see like John with our eyes “the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.” (John 1:29) For God said it would come to fulfilment, then we will be restored, healed and our appointed time will come by the work of His hands in ours.

The Lord Jesus Is In The Waiting

The Lord Jesus Christ has His eye on you, and He requires we allow Him to do the work in the heart and the character. He will navigate the way and set all things in place for the new man and woman to come forth. Delays may be instrumented by Him to rearrange your plan and your purpose if opposed to His. Delays will be instrumented so Jesus can cause the right door to open in the right year right month and day. “For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it, for it will certainly come, it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3

Prepare for Battle

At times, the sea will be raging, and we will have to fight it with a battle. Like it or not we have to enter into warfare to become what Jesus has called us to become, that’s the truth! The kingdom of darkness is not going to let us build without a fight, and they are no strangers to our flaws, faults and weakness or to any old age strategy to hinder us or cause us to abandon and abort our destiny even take us off its direction back in the other direction.

Truth is we have to defeat them or they defeat us; we have to fight them all the way, or they will tear the boat apart on every side. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he might devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 KJ We have to keep watch “watch and be sober” (1 Thessalonians 5:6) “watch in all things” (2 Timothy 4:5) “be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer,” (1 Peter 4:7) “watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). “Continue in prayer, and watch in the same” (Colossians 4:2) I’ve actually enabled my adversary many a time because of not enough devotion to prayer and listening in prayer and by me choosing what approach at what time and in what place. According to us if everything was the way it’s supposed to be we would be in alignment with our adversary’s way of thought but “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord” (Psalms 37:23 KJ) The fulfilment of how destiny unfolds is His work, not ours we just keep walking “keep, on keeping on’ in the direction we believe He has called us and appointed us. The land has milk and honey, yes and honey, milk and honey.

Get Up Once Again

If you are down for the count get back up. If you are hit hard get on your face and go for grace. Get back into the fight, you cannot stay down, you cannot. You know, and I know that our enemy does not want us to accomplish our mandate. Do not give up you can get to your potential.

Warfare Prayer Works

Enforcing covenant works … Allow The Lord to train your hands to war, allow Him to teach you afresh, so you are not ignorant of the devices and wiles of darkness. 13

Allow Him to open your heart and mind greatly so that you may receive revelation on warfare. For they do and will wrestle against us when we are going towards and waiting for our healing transformation and vision to come to pass. We have to be prepared not only to step into the call but how to fight the battles before and within and even after the opening of the doors of the vision. The adversary wills to take you off course, if you are called to singleness they will tell you in times of weakness that maybe you should get married because you need love and aloneness are not Scriptural. If you have been in isolation for years, they will set you up to accept uncircumcised philistines with their rotten fruit to keep you company â&#x20AC;&#x153;for after all, you have been separated for so many years and have few or no compatible or intimate friends, and the church has treated you like the woman at the well, and look itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not all what you thought it would be you still have same-sex attraction. You have overcome your former ways so they will hem you in and bring forth intense temptation that you may want to eat the rotten fruit of your past. But be strong in the strength of His Might, stand for you have come thus far, and you do not want to blacken your testimony or forfeit your call for any form of fleeting lusts of the flesh or ways of darkness. Neither do you want to lay in the arms of our adversary for they will only for your destruction and their victory. Their sins are not our calling; this is our temporary home itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not where we are to put down roots with darkness. We are here to stay seated in the third heavens far above the lusts of the flesh the ways of the world and the spirits of darkness we are here to serve we are here to be His kings and His priests and for the greater good of mankind. Before you take each unfolding direction, allow Him to bring you to a place where your direction is so concrete that you know the direction you are in is the way to point that boat. Therefore, this way the lies have no landing place and the temptations give no reason for yielding.

It Is Your Personal Voyage

If you feel your life is not dynamic, not global, not within the walls of the church, or not outside the walls of the church, not in the limelight, not urgent, too slow in coming to fruition, not providing income to sustain the costs of living or whatever is your not - than you have not yet come to the place of defining your direction and accepting the destiny He has ordained for you. 14

If you do not come to these places the adversary will be able to toss you about with every destiny storm, and they will cause you to make decisions of the flesh. Decisions that will redirect or prolong or hasten or abort your vision and to add it will most assuredly give them a foothold within. Temptations will come and will go, but some will cease and some will weaken as we accept the walk, the way, the Kingdom lifestyle of king and priest. It is here we have to make a choice to choose His life not a bond to an iniquity or a bond to a past way of life or a bond to an unhealed wound. We must come to the place of the highway of holiness as the way of life, the highway of the Kingdom of light â&#x20AC;&#x201C; time for a fresh commitment to Him, His ways and His lifestyle â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Yes and Amen Jesus I accept the call, the way - Your life.

Falling Into Temptation

When you are close to your other side, you will go through an intense battle. It is at this critical point you will have to press in to stand and see the call on your life as true and coming to pass. If you have fallen get up and do not lose sight of you mandate for His work in advancing the Kingdom of God. Come back to run the race and fight the fight, recall once again you have a place in the big picture of governing of His Kingdom. Repent and be cleansed from all unrighteousness and cleansed from the demonic associated. Renew your mind, recommit to the vision and put on a fresh robe of righteousness. Take the Covenant cup and body for a refreshing and allow your heart to be empowered once again. Let the power of His shed blood impart His victory once again against the works of darkness and cleanse you where you have backslidden and transgressed. Allow His blood to come one with your spirit to rise up again with life and resurrection power and strength. Let Him raise you up again and keep you up above your circumstances and mindsets, allow blood Covenant of repentance restoration into your circumstances and mindsets. Allow Him once again to empower you and change you to come back into agreement with Him to allow Him to change your heart and cause you to accept the calls requirements on your life. Intertwine once again with His will for your life, the bread, is sweeter and in His presence is much

better than the devils bread and where there is no good thing that dwells in our flesh.

The Enemy Will Dwarf Your Heart

He will dwarf your call and your view of yourself, and they will use any weapon against you to break your will. Do not lose sight of your shore so that they cannot stop or hinder you. Remember your anointed self, you have the anointing and you are anointed. Redirect your focus back to that which He has concreted in your heart, consecrate yourself once again and allow His anointing of counsel and might and skill to rule to consume you. We have to accept the warfare and accept that warfare will never cease as we dwell on the earth serving in the Kingdom of God. The enemy wills to finish you and me off in any way they can either in subtle or obvious ways. They will for you go back in the arms of a lover; they will not stop devising ways to set you up or trip you up. So letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s settle it here you will be tempted to go back to same-sex relationship â&#x20AC;&#x201C; full stop. We must understand that to take spiritual warfare out of our lives is to take away the reality that there is Yahweh and Satan, Christ and antichrist, Holy Spirit and evil spirits, Light and darkness, spirit and flesh and good and evil. Anoint yourself once again with fresh anointing oil to stand and go forth and fight and allow this to empower you back to reality and obedience. If you have hardened your heart and rebelled and become disobedient and full of blame towards Jesus and others, repent, turn from your ways and allow Him to empower you once again to walk towards your vision. Pick up your sword, your bow and quiver of arrows and go back on task and listen to what is coming up out of your spirit, not your head; discern the lies you have allowed to digest into your head. Renounce the darkness, renounce the lies and receive His grace to learn from your circumstance to rise back up again.

Warfare Is As Much A Part Of Life As Eating Food

You will be tempted to harden your heart, but remember this: adversary is just as much a part of life as eating food and drinking water. 16

Recall also that warfare is of The Spirit, we being flesh and being iniquitous by nature will consume our adversary with machine guns and take down our fellow human beings at the knees. But this will not profit it will only bring forth additional warfare as the weapons of our warfare are not flesh but of Divine power. Look the truth is adversity will not cease against us, the kingdom of darkness will attack us on our strengths and our weaknesses and unhealed fragmentation and bring forth many subtle strategies in circumstances. They will engineer attacks from within our ranks, in our soul, from our fellow workers, from our family and from every angle they can – therefore expect it and accept it. We need the wisdom and knowledge and strategic warfare of The Word and The Spirit, not the flesh. We need to lean on Him, stay close to Him and to stay in tune with Him and continue to be trained and taught and renewed, restored and refined by Him in The Spirit. If you have compromised your faith because it’s just too difficult in putting off the old man / woman and the reality of constant warfare, repent and renounce and allow Him into this area for restoration and change. Or if you have compromised the truth to fit in with unbelievers because of your brokenness or need for acceptance, the truth is people will either like you or not like you, receive you or not receive you, no matter what face you give them – what sins you do to fit in. You cannot hide the real you or the work that has been done in the heart by The Spirit as this will surface and your masks will go down in your hand by your side then the net that you have laid with only catch yourself and you will have to get out of your own trap! Kingdom living is no easy road, if you think you can outsmart the adversary, or play them at their game this too will ensnare you, they are clever, cunning and have been around and studied humanity for thousands of years. It is His way or no way; it is His strategy, or you will sink in drowning, defeated in the way you came in agreement with them. So stop your whinging, stop sulking, stop your sin and stop running to your caves of comfort and have yourself a reality check. Go back to Him and come out of an agreement with your strategies, come out of agreement with the ways of darkness and once again put on Christ and have your armour anointed a fresh and go forth under His sevenfold anointing under His Lordship than your own.

Keep Moving Towards The Shore Of Vision

Keep moving, don’t give up, and don’t back down, just keep moving towards change. If you have to do it afraid just do it, if you have to do it depressed, do it and do it in whatever pain you are in but just keep doing it. The battle will never end; you will not walk into your vision without a fight, a fight of the flesh and fight of darkness. It is going to be hard there are going to be times that are just more than you can bear. Buy just keep on keeping on, don’t jump out and die, don’t go to the enemy for comfort and don’t go to your flesh for pleasure. Get on your face and go for grace, get on your face and go for grace, get on your face and go for grace, He is a God, who will grow you He is the God of the stormy sea and the God of calm seas, He is faithful. You will make it He will take you through, just place your hand in His and allow Him to be Faithful and row that boat to your destination. He is able; He has called you so He will enable you to become. No matter what the spirits are screaming and whispering in your ear and what agreement you have come into with them, He will enable you and He can rescue you, and He can bring you out of the stormy sea, He makes room for brokenness, the gifts and calling on your life and gives mercy grace mercy grace mercy grace and more mercy and grace. Get on your face and go for grace.

Devils Are Opportunists

Works of darkness in and over you will take an opportunity anywhere they can, they will hit you hard and hit you hard and hit you hard to dwarf your image and vision of yourself. Spirits scream and whisper their lines and lies at you and even from the breath of death in other people “See you will never make it, you have never accomplished anything, you have never made it to completion on anything you’re a loser, you’re not ready yet, you have not got the standard He requires, you’re not good enough, see you don’t fit in anywhere; you’re not like the others, you don’t have the social skills or the stability - we have stopped you were succeeding all your life, and we will not let you succeed in bringing your vision identity or ministry to pass. 18

But the devil is a liar, and you can make it you have come thus far, and you will go all the way for He will make a way where there seems to be no way that you can make a way. Keep sailing towards the vision keep in the boat towards the vision He is Able. Yield and ask Him into those lies repent of them renounce them and be infused once again with the identity and vision He has placed within your heart.

Those In The Church Will Oppose Your Vision

Remember the arrest of Jesus as Caiaphas broke Jewish criminal laws and religious rules to ensure the trial of Jesus Christ. He had no legal right to question Him privately or at night or to do it within the wall of his palace. Caiaphasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s false accusations (Luke 23:2) ensured Pilate had to hold a court hearing so as to put Christ to death. Even though Scripture had to be fulfilled (Isaiah 53:3; Acts 3:18) there were many of His own who wanted Him killed (Acts 2:23) and others who were for Him and welcomed Him (Mark 212:37; Matthew 21:9) prior His death. So it is with us, our vision and calls on our life that Yahweh wills to have fulfilled will get opposition. We will come across the Caiaphasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s who will take us up before the elders and the Pastors accusing us of heresy and perversion. We will have those within the walls of the church who are demonically driven due to their sin structures believing they are justified and doing good work for Yahweh to hinder the work of Jesus in and through us. There will be more against us than for us, and there will be those who are blind and deaf and have unbelief to think we are self-appointed and deceived. But the Spirit will raise up a standard within our hearts to enable us to stand steadfastly and press forward towards the fulfilment of the call that speaks to our heart. So milk your circumstances and drink a fresh to go beyond your circumstances, so you are able to bring forth His will for yourself and in return, in the lives of others. Be blessed and receive a fresh anointing of boldness, strength and determination to press on towards your vision. Amen, let it be so my Father.

Hold Onto The Word

Whatever word was given to you hold onto it in times of despondency, walk towards those words, walk towards that vision and hold the sound of it in your head and heart and listen to it with your ears as I do. I “keep the sound of Triumph” no matter who believes it is false no matter who believes I have misinterpreted His call or who screams “it’s not in the direction you think it is - He is doing a new thing.” I know without a doubt He has called me since the womb of my mother to write a book titled “To a Thousand Generations of Women” so for this I most assuredly keep the sound of triumph. Once I had a dream of my yard being filled with full cisterns and the only interpretation I have to date is that it represents Jesus living water of love and this love given to me I am to share with others, and it will remain full as long as I share His love with others! I believe there is truth in that for I do walk in anointing of love for others, but my own understanding has been this: from home I am to write books, teachings with prayer strategies that will provide keys to enable Him to pour out to a large number of His People His Living Water. Once I was told by a Prophet “you will write prophetically, and these writing would be published.” he also said, “You will be one of the greatest witness’s the church has ever seen when The Lord heals you.” Now, that could be way off the truth as it could be a false prophetic word as this Prophet ministers in mixture of S/spirits, however, he could have been ministering in the Spirit of Truth in those two separate occasions. Then if it is true the interpretation may not fit what the greatest witness means to my flesh but to Jesus, His greatest may be not be what it literally or carnally sounds like. My head and my heart find this hard to believe as truth “greatest witness the church has ever seen” yet I follow the word I have in my heart to write the book “To a Thousand Generations of Women.” I believe it will come to fruition, and I work on not losing sight of what I believe I am called to bring forth for the Kingdom of God and His plan and purpose for others. I believe in the prophecy of writing prophetically as I do and have done for years and still do to date, and I know His presence. I press on and 20

walk towards this call since the womb of my mother “to write” that particular book, and this I know to be true, so I use the talents given to me for advancing the Kingdom of God by additional writings about my walk and in this way my journey is a living testimony. But I am not hanging out my Christian coat on those words “the greatest witness the church has ever seen” even though “this is why it is called the prophetic; it’s most likely an impossible or unbelievable occurrence” 1. [Alwyn, 2010] While there may be an element of truth spoken here as I may not have the fullness of the vision I continually move towards what The Spirit of Christ Jesus has given me thus far concerning the vision. Further, as I am growing, and maybe I cannot discern in my limitations what the fullness of the vision is as “Your vision assignment does not come all at once; God slowly unfolds and reveals it to you with each faithful step you take.” 2. [Jackson, 2008] We have to be aware that there will always be Job’s counsellors and those with their own agenda and those who are flesh and who do not operate confidently in the gifts of The Spirit, and there are those who operate in the demonic thinking it is The Spirit. My spiritual adviser gave me a little rebuke “in the multitude of counsellors there is much wisdom – but there can also be a lot of confusions that comes from shopping around for too many people’s advice.” 3. [Hammond, 2008] Over the years, I have sought confirmation and run these words “the greatest witness the church has ever seen” past Pastors and they just look empty at me. One Pastor said he did not believe this and said no your transition from what you once were to who you are now is the definition of the greatest witness the church has ever seen, and he did not believe I would be seen or heard. From a particular woman, I was told that God only used my writings to bring forth healing for me, and they were to go no further than that and they were not to be published for finance. Yet she said freely what I have received I was to freely give and added it is the world’s way to run Ministries like a business. She added God was doing a new thing and what I believed He was doing He is not because He is taking me in a new direction and we are in the end times and it is not going to be like I think! With all those mixed messages, I did not think it was wise to receive anything she said, but just commit it to Him. From others, they judge me with what their eyes see and ears hear than seeing and hearing with their inner man/woman and or the discernment of walking in The Spirit so I can understand their lack of interest, support and belief in me. 21

A Pastor’s comments were after I gave him one of my teachings is “anyone can start up an internet ministry on site” and a teaching was “somewhat dogmatic, and I had to be careful.” In moments of insecurity all that got to me, but I had to press beyond and believe that which speaks to my heart and what speaks to me in my inner woman is the truth, not the opposing voices and not their opinions and those of the others, however, I do keep an open, humble teachable heart for Jesus can and does speak us in various ways. A prophecy I once received was “I would teach women to walk in the Spirit and like I am tall in the natural I would be tall in the Spirit; I would be like a basketball player in the Spirit and against the enemy.” When I first met one of my spiritual advisers for deliverance ministry and counsel, she said, “God has something big for you, but He is not telling me what.” From these two first ever prophecies The Lord has built on them by the word spoken in my heart to write “To a Thousand Generations of Women” and by the prophetic word “you will write prophetically, and they will be published” and I’d love to believe “the greatest witness the church has ever seen” as it could fit, but it’s just sounds too unbelievable to my understanding – how could I ever be that I’m broken and foolish. To date I’ve never had any of these reaffirmed by any other prophets or prophetess’s, not that I run after Prophets or Prophetess or have I been to any meetings either to hear any confirmation, however, I have followed the directives I believe The Spirit of Christ Jesus has given me, and I continue to run with the vision and call on my life, and I press on despite the voices of both the demonic spirits and the voices of the flesh. Do I lose sight of this, yes, will I lose sight of this again, yes until I have my heart and mind concreted in the vision? I recall John the Baptist; he would have lost sight of the call on his life when those would not believe in his direction or his vision or his teachings. It is written he had baptised Jesus in such faith (Luke 3:21) to later ask Jesus “Are You the Expected One, or do we look for someone else?” (Luke 7:20) If John lost sight of his vision whilst walking in the fullness of the vision and both Jesus Christ and John were opposed by the “mainstream churches” for their vision/ministry and teachings and doctrines then we also can expect to lose sight and to be opposed by the mainstream churches and have people not believe in us, and there will be much time we will be blinded to the call on our lives, so walk on soldier.

Blind Eyes

If no one sees your potential, they are either flesh, or they are not meant to see your potential yet. God will open the eyes of people to your calling when it is time, and God will bring those around you to help you with your vision when it is time. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stress over this stuff if no one believes in you, or sees what He has put in you or what God sees in you or what He had done within you towards your call. He sees He knows He is able to complete the work He has begun so that it will come to fruition. At least you will know those who really want to know you for you, as opposed for knowing you for who you are!

They Will Not Understand You

Many will not understand what you have been through; many will not know where you have come from or how you are going to get there. Neither, do not get disturbed as they can neither perceive nor know unless they have had to come through your stormy weather. If you are fighting into your cave and sitting on the furniture of iniquity and sin or have different masks that hide your pain, surrender it to Him and allow Him to pinpoint your behaviour and bring to death the acting out and or sin structures. If you have gone back to your former ways, remember Peter after having spent three years with the Messiah Himself was going back fishing. You and I are flesh; we are weak, and we are not expected to be walking talking Holy Ghosts. Forgive yourself, do not abuse the grace and mercy of God, just surrender your rotten fruit and see Him change your heart and minister life to your heart once again.

Follow What You Believe Jesus Is Speaking To Your Heart

He has spoken to your heart and recall you can hear from God, and you have His Word. You do not have to have three prophets or four angels 23

to give you your next course correction or destiny or His Kingdom plan and purpose for your life. We get so many mixed messages, and we will always get mixed messages but do not discard all the counsel of others for we can be following the flesh and the devil. Many have been deceived, financially ruined and shipwrecked because of following their flesh and the deceptive works of Divination. Don’t be hard on yourself if you have made mistakes, misunderstood the vision, spent money or spent His money towards the dream and the outworking of your call. In Him, we have forgiveness of sins and He can work with mistakes, and there are many teaching lessons and growing curves from mistakes and from the sins and corruptness of our heart that comes out of these hiding places. If you are to place it down it is the season for Him to bring to death the dream and vision and call and ministry that it no longer holds your passion or your ownership. However, you will go through this and if you have not He will bring your heart to a place that you only want Him and could not care if you never walk in the vision ever or how much money you will get. But putting it down is about getting you to the place of knowing that you know that you are in the right direction. Knowing that you have discerned the call and vision and dream and that you are fulfilling and walking in the direction, you believe He wills for you to go. This way no man or woman or spirit or demon can take it from you and this way you will stop seeking a multitude of counsellors and Prophets and allow Him to send the counsellor and or persons who will confirm the vision the call the dream and ministry direction on your life.

The Question Is?

Those in the church will persecute you as they have stronghold over their minds in regards to their image of God in three persons. They will judge you according to their doctrines, denomination and life experiences and expectations. They will even disobey righteous instructions and or transgress the laws of Yahweh to bring about something they believe is ‘good’ and right in their own eyes.

The Pharisees were often offended when Jesus Christ exposed their hearts as they had their image of what Jesus should be and do. Further, they had an image of themselves as whom they were supposed to be as The Pharisee’s and many in the church are no different as they too are bound in religion and legalism and are blind and deaf to the Truth/Jesus Christ the Word of God and refuse the sanctifying work of The Spirit of Christ Jesus. The question here is, are you also one of those are you bound in religion and legalism? Are you blind to the Truth and are not allowing the washing of the Word and the transforming power and counsel of The Holy Spirit to teach you and sanctify you? Do you forsake His L/laws His instructions to uphold your traditions, your denomination, your Sunday school teaching?

Like-Mindedness Does Not Mean

There will be many who want you to be their photocopy, created in their image and how your specific calling and identity is to be or is to come to pass. They will want you to hold their beliefs, faith, their understanding their tradition, theology and doctrines. Some may even want you to be compatible and or their personality type before they believe in you or even will spend time to receive the totality of you and your understanding of The Word. We all know that no one has the infallible interpretations of The Word but The Word Himself, but we are to search and aspire to find the fullness of The Truth. If we are teachable and humble enough, we will allow for differences of opinion. When we want to listen it means we want more, more understanding and then we are taught and trained by The Spirit of The Word who teaches us Truth. Truth is we can learn from anyone and our borders can be enlarged, or it may be that our tent pegs need taken back because we may just be wrong. Don’t be harsh, don’t be so intellectual and don’t be so right that everyone else is wrong but you; if your cup is full then there is no room for others. Wisdom looks at the glass half full not half empty and if you are willing to look you may learn something deeper than what you already know and have to give to others. Like-mindedness does not mean that we should hold the exact same as another as we are to receive one another as brother and sisters in Christ and Love/love causes us to overlook doctrinal differences and personality 25

differences and vision differences. Love will mature you and allow you to listen as one being taught allow you to trust in faith because it is not what you disagree with it is what can you and what can I learn. Sometimes you will feel pushed in a corner; truth is it may be the corner you are to be in or it may be the enemy has you there. Yes, they will not stop trying to find ways for you and me to give up on our destination vision and the call on our lives. But recall Yahweh does uses them as a tool in His hand. Yes, they are skilled, and they have been around for millenniums to know every trick in the book to cause us not to fulfil our calling but we must keep our eye on our heart where the vision has been birthed and trust in Him who has called us is Able to deliver. What shall I say? Keep sailing donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look back; press in regardless. See it as He is at work causing you to endure as the journey ahead will require much more enduring. Surrender your identity and vision afresh and lay it down. Cast all my burdens on Him. Go back to trust and faith walk of The Spirit at all times. Surrender your weakness, doubts, fears and perceived realities. Take His hand and believe He is in control and He will bring the vision and call on my life to pass regardless of my circumstances. Know that the only one who can stop or take your identity call and vision off you is you. Allow the work of faith and trust to take much deeper roots. Allow His work of pruning to produce more lasting fruit. See that this is a time for Him to prepare you to overcome anything. Allow Him to do the work in your heart, work in my sin structures. Use it to birth the faith of Daniel, who was thrown in the lionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s den.

Look once again at what is on your heart not what is going on in my head and what my circumstances say. Believe once again it is God who will put Wind in your sail it is God who will bring this to pass.

Declaring Faith

I get so filled with faith when I consider the 185 thousand the angel of the Lord went out and struck dead in 2 Kings 19:35. Hezekiah took the letter the Assyrian King sent up saying surrender or starve to the house of the Lord and spread it before the Lord, the next day all of them were dead bodies! (2 Kings 19:14) Where is your faith now? Lighten up you can change you can see any vision come to pass for it will. Lay it out before The Lord a fresh, leave it with Him and see His Covenant out work the minor and major details. Where there seems no way He will make a way and sometimes it’s a way that is far from what and how you thought the day and way should launch and come forth. Go back to a word that you know that you know is the truth and digest this instead of what is repeating over and over in your head.

Dependence On Him

As flesh and blood, we want to see His hand move in our circumstance's way before His deep work brings us to become king and a Priest. The fore-knowledge that has been given is enough for us to be strong and of good courage and it is enough to continue to allow Him to shape the destiny He has for the days that lie ahead. No matter what pressures, we will always have to go back to dependence on Him. But most importantly we are to know that it is okay to be in this place of doubt or little or no faith and unbelief. Because: “… He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities…” Isaiah 53:3-6 27

We have a personal relationship with Him; He knows our weakness, He understands above all else and He will minister to our lack with His abundance.

Faith Test

Your faith will be tested by adversary; your faith will be tested by flesh and your faith will be tested by Jesus and your faith has to come to a place that no man, no woman, no spirit, no demon can take from you. So embrace the opposition and use it to declare “no I am in the direction He wills me to go! No, I declare with the prophecies gone before me that I am walking towards the vision He has placed within my heart, so take it up with Jesus devils.

He Will Navigate The Way

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 You will overcome the barriers; you will press on to the upward call, and you will fulfil your destiny even when it seems no one is there or no one seems to understand your storms your vision and dream or your heart. Believe in His power to get you to the place He has for you for you will walk in the call on your life of king and priest. He has gone before you; He will navigate the way. He will bring forth the people; He will put everything into place for your appointed time.

Remain Faithful

You will go through hard times, and it will not be a one-off, it will be a regular occurrence. Therefore, you will need to be firmly rooted in trust, belief and faith relying on Yahweh and your Deliver Jesus. Remaining faithful is a must; once you open the door and we know this starts the process of giving our flesh and most of all our adversary a foothold that they will batter against to bring forth a stronghold. Further, our flesh is habitual by nature and then we get psychologically bound in the sin we have escaped to because it is “just too hard” or “God I will never 28

see my vision come to pass” “I think I’m deceived” or whatever your message is that is running through your head. We have to trust in His faithfulness, and His character regardless of our circumstances, or we get devoured by our own self and our adversary. Listen again to your heart and allow Him to answer your heart “You heard the call, you obeyed the call and you are moving towards the fulfilment of the call, therefore, keep walking and keep walking towards the fulfilment of the call, just keep on keeping on in the direction you are going and allow Me to bring it to fulfilment.” Stop thinking it will never come to pass, for you have set yourself up to think defeated feel defeated and to become defeated. We need to go back to the inner peace in our inner man/woman; here we can listen once again to the call and here we will find a new strength to keep on keeping on.

Impartation of Faith

Here is Hebrews 11; read it all again just to refresh your mind and heart to know that what you are going through is what those who got their name in the great hall of fame went through. 32. “…what more should I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets33. who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, 34. quenched raging fire, escaped the edge of the sword, won strength out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. 35. women received their dead by resurrection. Others were tortured, refusing to accept release, in order to obtain a better resurrection. 36. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37. They were stoned to death, they were sawn in two, they were killed by the sword; they went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, persecuted, tormented38. of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. 39. Yet all these, though they were commended for their faith, did not receive what was promised,

40. since God had provided something better so that they would not, apart from us, be made perfect.” Hebrews 11:32-40

His Timing

You will want to change your identity in a way you think it should come to pass. You will sit yourself in a church or go to church to become the minister you are called to be. If you do go to church looking for guidance and a place of acceptance in your flesh, it will be out of the will of His work and steps for you. If you are not travelling well in your heart and tired of waiting for the desires to go away and your “heterosexual identity” to come to pass, you will want to take yourself and hide in the corner because it is just not working. So your efforts are in vain, and you will be adding to your current lack of faith and trust in Him to bring newness to life.

Blinded by Maybe

When the soul doubts veils go over the eyes to blind your spiritual eyes from seeing and your spiritual ears from listening. You refuse to believe the call on your life, and you regurgitate what others have said “God is not going to work in the way you think He is” “God is doing a new thing in these days it’s not in church structure.” Whatever it is that people have spoken into your vision that does not marry up with the vision you have in your heart and or the Word discard their advice. You are separated for the work of the Kingdom, and this is your personal call. The enemy is alive and well, and the carnal person is quick to give the counsel way before they have listened with their spirit; they want to ‘fix’ they want to minister and be spiritual, and some cannot understand why Yahweh would not choose them or let alone why has He chosen you. Maybe is not part of the visions language, maybe is going to cause you to walk one step forward and two steps back and give the spirits of Satan opportunity to try and bring abandonment or abortion and most assuredly despondency, doubt, unbelief of your call and ministries plan for His redemptive purposes. 30

Press on, press in, you have been appointed with this call; you have been separated for this call, therefore, team up with The Holy Ghost again and be refreshed in the spirit of your mind, Amen.

Sin Justifies

Sin will build a wall then darkness covers our heart, so we become habitual materialistic and justify our sin. Therefore, we no longer walk in The Spirit or are able to discern the movement of The Spirit neither do we have a love of The Word. Stay focused on the destination not what is going on in your head or what is happening in your circumstances! You do not want to negate, or hinder or prolong your recovery. Neither do you want to give the enemy opportunity to project their lies for others to believe. If you allow the bite of a serpent to poison, you it will travel not only to your head but will deafen you in your spirit. Recall “They will take up snakes, and if they drink anything deadly, it will in no way hurt them …” Mark 18:18 “Behold, I have given you the authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and on all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt, not at all.” Luke 10:19 Jesus disarmed the enemy; therefore, bring forth a sword in The Spirit with the battle that is against you. Give them no more grounds, use prophecy against them. “I have been given a sound mind” “He sent His Word and healed me from my destructions” “Whom the Son sets free is free” Devil you are a liar, I resist your will your lies and deception.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah was called to a mission (Jeremiah 1:4-5); Jeremiah was promised His presence (Jeremiah 1:6-8) and Jeremiah was filled with a message (Jeremiah 1:9-10). Jeremiah’s (Jeremiah 1:4-5) call was predestined beforehand, his call, and anointing was preordained for him “for such a time” as in the day he was born.

This is the same with you and me; Yahweh is Omniscience; He knows all things and plans all things according to His will for the future. Our visions, our calls, are predestined before we are born of the specific destiny of service (Romans 8:29). We can be predestined two hundred, fifty, ten or two thousand years before our birth, (Isaiah 45:1-2, 5; 1 Kings 13:2; Revelation 11:3). However, recall “it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” Hebrews 9:27 We have not been sent from heaven, “Who has ascended into heaven and descended? Who has gathered the wind in His fists? Who has wrapped the waters in His garment? Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is His name or His son’s name? Surely you know?” Proverbs 30:4 NASB Jesus Christ is the only one who has come from heaven to redeem mankind and to make atonement for our sins (John 1:1, 3:17; Hebrews 10:5). We will only be raised once at the resurrection (Luke 14:13-14; John 6:38-40) and recall the parable of the righteous and the wicked in Luke 16:19-31 seeing “Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom.” Jesus sacrifice would be null and void as He is our pattern, He would have to die again after being raised from the dead to come again in another look if reincarnation and or being sent from Heaven was a truth. It is not the truth it is an occult doctrine taught by Divination and their network of heresy and error and associated seducing spirits. “My people are destroyed because of lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6) our lack of knowledge will bring spirits and doctrinal deception with the spirits attached to the error and heresy we believe. I have taught on this under “Rebirthing, reincarnation; living in heaven and being sent by The Father and The Lord Jesus Christ to fulfil destinies redemptive purpose” in the Personal Cleansing Workbook more extensively if you want to further understand this false teaching. The Word/Bible has to be viewed as a whole and from the basic foundational truths such as sanctification, salvation resurrection of the dead, hell and even the gifts and works of The Holy Spirit to get predestination into perspective. Because we know, we cannot take one or 32

portions of scripture and make a doctrine out it. Recall we are commanded to search the scriptures to see whether we be in the faith/truth/light (Acts 17:11; 2 Corinthians 13:5). He is in control of our destiny; He is the Master of our destiny and He is Lord over His Kingdom’s plans and purposes that He will do in and through us. It is only you who will allow it to be taken from you, no devil in the earth or the air can take from you His redemptive plan and purpose unless you allow it and refuse to stand up under them and fight till the very end of your days. Jesus, help me to accept it’s a fight till the end, help me to accept my battles when they are upon me and most of all anoint me to stand against them and recognize them. I surrender to my call and vision anew, teach my hands a fresh to war and teach my heart to hear and search for Your truth. Amen

Deception Has To Be Considered

Jesus’ wrote these words: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing’s, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.” Matthew 7:15 We do receive false prophecies, the flesh the demons and the spirits of Satan are part of church attendance. But Yahweh’s Word is unchanging, and the pattern of prophetic words and their outworking are in the unchanging Scripture. There is a ministry of Prophecy where someone has a mantle of one of the fivefold ministries, and there is the gift of prophecy that is available to all believers (1 Corinthians 12:8-10). Prophets are men or women who speak on Yahweh’s behalf to bring forth His message either for personal or for a ministry/church or for a nation or for whatever global reason He wills to speak His plans and purposes to man through man for man/woman. Many writers agree that Prophets and Prophetess are people of prayer and dedication; they are called to walk in absolute obedience and are to be seen as totally committed to the Kingdom and its lifestyle. They are to be seen as compassionate and humble not arrogant and pig headed, and they know they are under Yahweh’s authority.

More than any other in the body of Christ they are responsible to Yahweh alone for the message they bring on His behalf as to what He is saying to His people with guidance, direction, strength, encouragement, comfort, edification (1 Corinthians 14:3), warning or what He is doing or saying in this hour, and those to come (John 16:13). Writers are also in agreement that true Prophets and Prophetess know they are sent by Yahweh, not by their own will or ordained by men or women in the body as they are well prepared and refined through the furnace of different afflictions so that they know Him and so that they understand His character when they go into the throne room in His presence. However, true prophets and prophetess’s can give words in times of deception of the flesh and the demonic as they can interpret them inaccurately especially if they are not allowing His utterance. They can interpret them according to their ego their brokenness or education or culture and doctrines, and to add demonic overtones that they have not learnt to ignore. Also, many prophecies do not come true as the person who has received the word fall within “many are called but few are chosen” (Matthew 22:14) or they refuse instruction in righteousness or obedience to His ways or they do not do their part to bring the prophecy into fruition or they misinterpret the word given and many other reasons. When we look at the Prophets and Prophetess, we are able to discern those that are false as to those that are truly chosen of Yahweh to speak direction, confirmation and instruction into our vision. If you Google any Prophet or Prophetess and use the Scriptures as the foundation, you will be able to test the false ones against the true ones that operate in the global Church circles. You will see their false signs and wonders that have no scriptural foundation and premise and their prophecies over many years that never come to pass. However, be aware that there are ministries under Antichrist spirits who will defame the name of a true Prophet and Prophetess to discredit their ministry; these people are just as deceived as the false prophets and prophetesses. Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water for no one has arrived, and prophets and prophetess are being refined and reshaped and moulded all the time throughout their ministry. They are all a struggling people who have faults and flaws and sin structures that are being refined all the time and the discerning of spirits is learnt for not always does The Holy Spirit give pure utterance when prophesying.

Test Prophecy

You will have teachers that will teach according to their call with their style according to their understanding, background, and education and theology and doctrine and so on. There will even be some that will have you visualizing according to new age teachings on visions and dreams of your heart. Some will have you open doors that are not in Jesus’ appointed time, however, as we are partners with The Spirit of Christ Jesus and we do live in the natural world, walking towards the vision does require we go about opening doors. But we are supernatural people who are to walk in The Spirit, and it is wise that we know that we know the direction of the door we are opening is in agreement with The Spirit of Christ Jesus. Coaching ministries that help you bring your vision to pass may not be for all believers to bring their vision to pass. Motivational teachers that inspire you with their keys to press on towards your vision's fulfilment does needs Spiritual discernment as to if you are to participate in these styles of inspiration and knowledge. They are brilliant, but they are raised up to minister to a particular market/segment/sector and or target group of people with that particular style of expertise. These types of self-help, self-coaching, success courses, x amount of day courses to living in your dream, step by step plans to, live God’s vision on your life may not be the direction Jesus Christ has for your life even though they are great and sound great and have Scriptural truths and God’s blessings. The enemy is assigned to hinder, stop and side-track us, and deception is always on our tail in walking towards the vision and dream Jesus has placed within us. Walking in The Spirit has to be fostered with any high call or call or any call that has a season only. His directive towards achieving the vision needs to be tested at each turn we take and at each opportunity that comes across our path. The kingdom of darkness can put in place a direction change as much as The Kingdom of Heaven can. It may sound and seem as if the next piece of the puzzle is to be put into the bigger picture but when you look with the eyes of your spirit where The Spirit of Christ Jesus is speaking you will discern this is not the way to walk in, look, not to the right and look not to the left but press on forward and stay in the direction you are going. RECALL we will fight deception over and over and over again. 35

The call to be king and priest and at that any call on your life does require you to be separated to be consecrated (Luke 1:75) and transformed to His likeness (Romans 12:2) to be a vessel unto honour (2 Timothy 2:21. No dream of your own, no will of your own, no desire of your own to make a future for yourself, no reading of all the motivational books to turn your own dreams into success will bring about a vision for Him. Those that are planned out of your own thoughts will bring you into a calling that is not ordained for you. If we take the word that writes: “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he [she] will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.” John 14:12 “Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23 We will negate as “He wills” and “to some He gave” and “God has appointed.” “But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.” 1 Corinthians 12:11 “And God has appointed in the church, first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, various kinds of tongues.” 1 Corinthians 12:28

They Will Want To See A Sign

The words spoken by the prophet Isaiah: “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14 Signs are given by Yahweh to confirm His redemptive plans and purposes for His Kingdom and He will lay a foundation in our lives by those He sends to speak to us. We will see the outworking of the true call and vision as He puts it all into place. Walking in agreement with the direction He reveals to us, and the obedience to becoming a committed king and priest are essential. 36

But don’t be like those who are stubborn, rebellious and unteachable who will want to see a sign in our life that we are transformed and chosen. There will always be those we are in close contact with and those in the church who do not believe us and that we have not heard correctly. They will say the prophetic words we have are false, and they will think why He would choose you when they are more skilled and so much more spiritual than people than us! After all, they come from generations and generations of the faithful people, and you have had generations and generations who have been rebellious lawless and have perished and not to mention the wicked life you lived before! The Roman centurion a Gentile, who had no righteous heritage to boast about needed no sign but the spoken word of Jesus (Matthew 8:59). Those who seek a sign that you are changed or called can be blinded by their self-righteousness and pride, just like some of those who Jesus spoke of “… who are Israelites, whose are the adoption and the glory, and the covenant, and the Law-giving, and the service, and the promises; whose are the fathers; and of whom is the Christ according to flesh, He being God over all, blessed forever. Amen.” Romans 9:4-5 These had studied the Word and who were born to start school in Synagogue at three years of age and were given the blessing of being called the sons of the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet Jesus said they were unteachable and stubborn and because of this they would be at risk of being cast out into the outer darkness (Matthew 8:10-13). Recall they could not discern the signs He did in their sight because of their own heresy and error taught in their schools of books. After all, they attended The Temple School the Temple Synagogue and it was the best of the best School in all of Judea claiming they held the true interpretations of Torah, The Prophets and the Writings. We now know they did not as Jesus called them blind guides (Matthew 23:16-17, 24-25). Many of these ‘mainstream learned’ Torah observant Pharisees and Sadducees always required a sign (Matthew 12:38, 16:1) and it was these who always opposed Jesus and His calling and vision yet He Himself was a sign and His works, His miracles and wonders testified to Himself as a sign of being The Messiah. Yahweh will use the foolish to confound the wise and people do get offended because they have worked all day in His vineyard and you maybe the man or woman who came late. They will take offense as you are the ring in who will get the same amount for only working part of the day. 37

Do not be dismayed or prove you are fixed or called for it will fall on deaf ears. Allow Jesus to speak into their hearts then they will know you are safe, changing and committed to a life of priesthood and kingship.

You Do Not Have To Prove You Are Set Free

We do not have to prove we are no longer homosexual, even if our mannerisms are still feminine or masculine. The transformation is of the heart, and the transformation takes place in the heart and the rest follows. This is the same of any vision of ministry as Paul, the Apostle, did not have to prove Yahweh called and appointed him, he did not have to confer with men with the call on his life. “but when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased 16. to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, 17. nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus.” Galatians 1:15-17 For some of us this is how it will be for the call will come from The Spirit of Christ Jesus within, not from a Prophet or Prophetess or Pastor or someone operating in the gifts of The Spirit. For some, He will not require you to go and get confirmation with those in leadership, those in authority, but to trust in His spoken word in your heart and then to walk towards the call. Trust and obey and follow your Shepard He will most assuredly lead you in the way you are to go – Arabia and only then can you return to Damascus and confer to flesh and blood.

Do Not Conform To Their Image

Not only those in the church will want to see a sign, but those in your workplace your family or whatever community of people you belong to or associate with will have their idea of who you should be instead of who you are individually. Truth is most people want you to conform to their norm, the status quo of their shop, church, family, group and so on. They want you to 38

conform to their ideals and what they know of the world the Word and the God they perceive and believe. Take not this on board your boat for they only judge you according to their knowledge, according to their understanding and their wisdom. We are to remain who we are as an individual - a unique gifted woman or man that He has chosen, for not only His redemptive plan and purpose but the individual He created and gifted us to be and who Jesus is bringing forth. If we harden our heart and conform to the expectations of others, then we will lose portions of our soul not only to the darkness but to those around us who do not have the right to speak as God into our lives.

Approval Comes From Him First And Foremost

We all have different personality types and all have different ways we deal with desiring change and waiting for our vision to come to pass. Especially when we think it will never come forth. When we waver thinking we have gone so far and now we are never going to make it or we are never going to make the grade or maybe we are self-deceived we will begin to see our weaknesses surface. If we do not first understand ourselves and see our own weaknesses and strengths, then we can backslide into these weaknesses’ to eat their rotten fruit. We will go in the arm of the flesh to bring forth change and the vision in our own capabilities or we may even cease to walk towards a priestly life. I am analytical and I can get irritated by my perception of specific weaknesses, mainly when I am not ‘running all four cylinders’ or walking in knowledge and in The Spirit, so I have to be aware to recognize that I can get ‘moved’ in these times more easily. One day I felt led to go into the second-hand bookshop at lunch as I know when this happens He has something on the shelf He wills me to have. The book was by Jeanette Howard, Out of Egypt - One woman’s journey out of lesbianism and I was so happy to be led of The Spirit and have this book for a resource for ministry and to read for my own counsel and understanding that I showed this particular woman the title. Her comment after me saying I was led to go and buy it was “oh you don’t need that you’re out of that now, you have moved beyond that, it was in the past.” Well, my emotions went from a high to a low then anger came in the night hours for firstly she did not listen to me as I said “I was led” by Holy 39

Ghost. Secondly she still does not recognize my calling and my ministry (“nobody does”) and she won’t even read my writings. Yes, I know but in the night hours it just screamed in my head “she shows no sign that she believes in me” and “I see no sign of those around me who believe in me” “no one gives a hoot about me or my call and they don’t even like me.” To add, her comment typified the religious responses I have had to homosexuality – “just bury your head in the sand and pretend it does not exist and never mention your homosexual past ever again and whatever you do, do not tell anyone what you once were you’re a new creature now.” When the rubber hits the road, not matter how people differ from our own personality type or how broken or flawed or what spirits of darkness blurt out of their mouth we have to first understand and know ourselves why we respond in offence and why the things they say and do trigger our emotions to overload. For our own peace, we have to go through a process to understand our own personality in line with the process to walk in love and understanding of others despite their flaws and faults or sin structures. We need to work in these areas to prevent conflict moreover within ourselves and remembering it flows over into our family life our church life our work and social life and our responses and relationship with Yahweh the God in three persons. As kings and priests, we have to learn how to deal with the differences in people even if they are not compatible or are ‘annoying’ or have traits and behaviours and comments that hit nerves. We will never avoid conflict or never avoid people’s differences or their statements or responses that trigger off negative emotions because we all have brokenness and unhealed wounds and unsanctified iniquity and we are all the sum total of our journey thus far. Further we all have different religious and moral beliefs and we are all blinded in area’s or entrenched in lies of darkness; not to mention we do not all walk in Kingdom ways or in the Spirit but are carnal in many of our ways and serve Yahweh out of duty or religious methods and need. With the help of The Spirit of Christ Jesus we can confront these experiences (not the person) and face them so we don’t ignore what lies beneath the surface. We can learn about ourselves why we tick the way we tick and we can learn to get along with people who do not meet our “criteria” or “needs” or “personality type” “doctrines” and to make mention the opposite exists - they have to deal with us and we are far from perfection!

I now realize that I do not have to prove myself to her or anyone or any longer carry that mindset. Because I am gifted, I am anointed, I am called, I am called to get a ministry off the ground, I am called to write, I am called to write teachings and prayer strategies, I am called to write books and I am called to teach, train and edify and I am an amazing woman and she would get to know that if she got beyond â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kath was a lesbian.â&#x20AC;? I now realize my approval is not to come from her or anyone but Him who has appointed me. How powerlessly do we revert to a wounded spirit and unhealed wounds with grounds of darkness? How quickly we lose sight of the truth when we allow the thoughts and expectations of the flesh and the darkness to digest into our inner most being. How quickly do we shift from the bigger picture to eat the sand of self-pity dipped in the sea water insecurity and fear, doubt and unbelief and how quickly do we take the opinions of others than the truth of what The Holy Spirit has told us for years and years and years. If we look back over the years we see how far we have come. If it appears that no one believes in you He does, we have to recognize and learn not to get our approval from people for it is Yahweh who trains, who equips, who sends, who leads us in the way we are going. Approval seeking brings the exact circumstance I experienced, happy to sad then to anger because I want her approval and I just want her to be interested in my calling, my works, my this my that and this is all rooted in insecurity that has never been totally uprooted in my life. Truth is many will not or have not got the scope to approve of us or our calling or our gifting or our ministry or support us and we will experience suffering from the fellowship of believers. The church people will betray us and criticize us, therefore if we do not find the keys to see the roots in the foundation of our character of rejection and insecurity. We have to overcome the need of approval and if we do not recognize it as a flaw and or a sin structure, we will continue to foster insecurity with approval seeking and this will be an open door for darkness to ensnare us to compromise the direction and path set before us. Insecurity speaks of lack, lack of self-confidence, lack of belief in oneself and ability and to add mistrust in His enabling and transforming power into His image and His ever present help and presence within us. Insecurity causes us to be emotionally shaken and easily tossed to and fro from emotion to emotion. Insecurity causes us to see other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faults before our own and we blame them for our responses to then look inward to self to eat rotten fruits. Joyce Myer has a good book Approval Addiction and it has many keys that will enable us to get beyond the driving need of approval and 41

recognition. The need of recognition is a norm so is approval and these needs are deep rooted since childhood and I believe they are ok and natural needs. However, we have to come into the transition from flesh to spirit to no longer crave or have the driving need to be recognized and approved by those in the sea of the crowd or those who are not called to speak directly into our lives. As we continue to be renewed in our mind and receive the revelations of our identity, security and position in Christ and understand why we behave and react the way we do, these sin structures will be brought to death by the power and presence and workings of Christ Jesus. As we understand ourselves more we give opportunity for The Spirit of Christ Jesus to change our lives. We also lesson the warfare in our soul and from our adversary; therefore, this lessons the obstacles that hinder us from staying in touch with the truth and direction of change.

Storm Time – A Time To Accept

“In consecration and righteousness before Him all the days of our life.” Luke 1:75 Being a king and a priest means we will be set apart for consecration and righteousness and especially because of where we have come from. This can mean much isolation much time where we have to be brought to a place that Jesus is our Life. Not the people in the church, not the identity of being “straight” not a title not a fellowship not a friend here or lots of friends there. Being brought to a place of dependence on Him and Him alone will be part of the consecration process of becoming a king and a priest. I have not understood that wilderness is not just about the school of The Holy Ghost of training teaching and refining but where He wills to bring me to a place where I am to stop looking to people for my meaning in life. To stop looking for approval, for my value my worth and my significance and most of all to stop looking at church membership as the avenue and extension of my call and vision and for to find likeminded woman friends. Yet the truth is fellowship to gain friendships is limited in a two or three-hour service because of the way church is structured. I have to face the reality that finding friendships can be limited because of my busyness and all my calling commitments. Further, I am not the stereo-typical woman and I have my own faults and flaws and personality; and like all of us we are in His work of change and healing so we are somewhat undesirable! I have not understood that He wills for me to be in this place 42

out in the vast ocean so I have resisted Him and I have got bewildered in many of the storms. I so wanted friendships but hit brick wall after brick wall so I had to accept there is the carnality of members who do not walk according to the teachings of Christ but by their lusts of their hearts desires and yet may think they are spiritual - I included. There is the habits and sin structures of members, there are those who are hypocrites who hide their true condition and pretend to be more than what they are and who are nice at church then up come the walls after church in fear you may see the real them. Then there is the understanding and or the doctrines they have sat under since the womb of their mothers that fosters separation and or in demonic holy huddles and with self-righteousness prideful religious mindsets and judgments there are others. Then there is those who will not lay down their life to serve others because of “liberty” we have choice – “I don’t click with him and or her” or “she does not have a ministry title or his ministry does not line up with what I believe is written in the Word.” Or “oh I do not like married couples with children or vice versa I don’t like single women with children. Or “I cannot deal with the notion that she was once a homosexual” or “my life is full at the moment and I have no room for new friends as who I have is sufficient.” Truth is we are all going from glory to glory and we all have faults and flaws and are guilty of the above. Even though we are called to follow The Spirit we are allowed to have choice yet to follow The Spirit is far better than our own choice for who knows if this or that friendship we want is wise or in His perfect will at the present time. Therefore, I have to trust in His Sovereign rulership over my life as I am yielded to His plan and purpose for my life than pursuing personal friendships. I am aware I am marked by the kingdom of darkness and their assignments do operate against me regardless of my warfare as most do not warfare or believe they have to – “do not let anyone want a friendship with Kath, reject her, find fault with her and take offence from her.” Curses of rejection or words of darkness are operative against us all in some form or another, but when we know the devil’s tactics we have to press in and walk back towards the strategy to stand against it. At a little church I attended I tried connecting with the Pastors wife and her friend of many years bluntly told me that she – the Pastors wife hated artists referring to the artist side of me which is only one aspect of the totality of my persona and to that response the Pastors wife said of herself that she was a boring person. I gathered this was a shut door to 43

any opportunity of both her and her friend for any friendship, yet knowing the assignment against me and knowing how spirits work in others I pressed in again to walk towards the battle for maybe there was opportunity. I am amazed that so many in the body are deaf and blind to the subtle of works of darkness that they are so easily manipulated! The games and assignments demons play against us through other believers in the church never ceases to astound me at how they run rank over the hearts and minds of believers more than Holy Ghost does. With want for friendship, I connected with an unbeliever for a movie and walked away eating the bread of disappointment as this is not the place I will to be in or the place He wills me to be in. The truth is if we call Jesus Lord He will ensure we do not enjoy what He does not will for us to be and do, especially when we are set apart for consecration and called into a season of deep sea where we cannot see any land. As the Shepard of our souls, we give Him full control and trust in Him to guide and lead us as we follow Him. So for me to find friendships without the Lordship of Christ Jesus overshadowing is a trap and pie in the sky and a deception the darkness wills for my mind to keep yearning for so they can keep me downcast. For years and to date the enemy has resisted me in church circles as he knows my Achilles Heel and that I expose them. So I may as well face the reality that Jesus is Lord, and my life is in His hands and just get on with His Kingdomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plans and purposes in and through me and stop resisting the deep sea and stop wanting friendships and just ask for discernment and submit to the bigger picture. I am realizing that I have to press on and go on and set my mind to be determined regardless of my circumstances to serve Him to serve others. I have to do His will, walk His walk and believe Him The Shepard of my soul and truth is some of us have to drink a fuller cup of suffering and or pick up a heavier cross, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the truth. I am to stop grappling and just accept my journey for His work in my heart and to find my life in Jesus Christ and the presence of His Spirit. This is not easy as it goes against the grain of our base natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that desires food, water, shelter and the need of love and friendship. But as Kingdom people we are to live supernaturally to surpass such emotions to find our life in Him and it is here we are to trust that He will govern and give to us all that we need according to His will for us individually. My life is not to be by a driven need or to be gauged by how much love and acceptance or how many friendships I have with those in or 44

believers out of the congregation or that are in ministry but to be grounded in Him as my life. I want to say here that in my secular job I have been asked by many a woman for friendships outside work, however, given that light and darkness do not mix so to speak I have not accepted. Often we will find ourselves justifying our calling and weeping over our isolation and our sea travel and the way in which He is outworking the direction the training and the sanctifying process in our lives. Often we will not understand and realize that He does work all things and does instrument situations and circumstances for His preparation and works that are needed to bring us up higher and prepare us for what is to come not only in this age but that which is to come.

Church

Organised church and institutionalized religion differs from being under the covering of THE HEAD our Lord Jesus Christ. Recall if we are being led of The Spirit of Christ Jesus abiding in Him and if we walk in the Light as He is in the Light then we have fellowship with one another and are still part of the body of Christ and under His covering. I saw for years a local church as an extension of my vision and calling and hoping that church covering / membership will bring acceptance of my books and recognition, and a sending out by the Pastors and leaders. Whilst this carries biblical truth my vision is not in the heart or the direction or the church or is it called to be. I had to come to the place that He is defining the call and the vision and it is He who ultimately sends me out and it is Him who puts me to a particular church body who will be accepting the heart and vision of Triumphant Ministries. Further, I did not allow Him to bring to death my reliance on men and womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s approval to be sent or to be seen as a person with a mantle and or calling and ministry. My walk once was a time of wilderness as He has called me to come away from the organised church system yet I knew I was part of the Spiritual Church and or Ecclesia. If those around me did not understand, I had to stay standing knowing that all authority is His and being led of The Spirit into this wilderness for a season is the place I must remain in or I am in rebellion to His directive or the work He wills to do will be hindered and prolonged. We all know that salvation is not of works of church attendance neither does it mean I am a faithful obedient person because I am seen at church on Sunday and Sunday night and cell church on Tuesday night as 45

people are not the eye in my head or can you truly see or know the true condition of my heart. But if I was backslidden or in rebellion or refusing church attendance on the basis of the spiritual state of the church at large or the hypocrisy or offence or unhealed pain yes I would not be abiding on the vine or walking in the Light. However, as I believed The Holy Ghost was not requiring me to belong to a particular church I have to obey Him. “And He went up into the mountain, and He called near whom He desired. And they went to Him.” Mark 3:13 If I was to rely on how and what Pastors told me to do or think and believe I would be part of the false signs and wonders movement and led of the flesh. Therefore, as difficult as it is I cannot obey “man-centeredness” the voices of men and women or denominational beliefs to conform to their image or drink from their wine skin or wear their armour or take a hold of their heart for the body of Christ as my own. King David wrote under the power of The Holy Ghost “Those that be planted in the House of The Lord shall flourish in the Courts of our God.” (Psalm 92:13) I have written in “When you have had enough of Christianity” in chapter eleven - “Without a Tabernacle” that being part of a group of believers is an Old and New Testament model. Therefore, I am not in any way saying that we shouldn’t be part of a Christian community by neglecting to meet other believers on a regular basis or to be part of an assembly (Psalms 22:22, 84:4; Acts 20:7, 28; 1 Corinthians 16:2; Revelation 1:10) but I am writing my personal journey of being called out for a season while waiting for my vision to come to pass. Man centred religion is as counterfeit as the false signs and wonders of gold dust, oil and feathers. Religious control and persuasive manipulative talks to take your finances is as erroneous as drunkenness in the Spirit. I realize the spiritual state of the church and that Satan has his seat (Revelation 2:13), seducing spirits teach (1 Timothy 4:1-2), Jezebel teaches her doctrines (Revelations 2:20), Balaam his doctrines (Revelation 2:14; 2 Peter 2:15) and the Nicolaitans their teachings (Revelation 2:15) and all of these are the doctrines and works of these and other particular spirits (2 Corinthians 11:4). Further I realize Jesus told us that leaven was in the dough to imply that doctrines of devils would always be in the church, that sinful men and heresy and error were there by the parable of the tares in the wheat; and that spirits were the birds of the air that coexist with any believer’s doctrinal 46

beliefs and faith (Matthew 13:24-25, 31-32) and also because of transgressions either of doctrine or our carnal flesh. However, we still have to hold fast to His overall truth of His Word and continue to do His works and this includes church government (1 Corinthians 12:28, 1 Peter 5:1-2, 1 Timothy 3:2). This includes congregational and assembly patterns (Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 Corinthians 14:26) that are to teach and feed the sheep as they have existed from the days of the Patriarchs (Exodus 26:30; Deuteronomy 23:3) and were carried over into Jesus day (Matthew 18:17; Psalms 100:4) and the early establishing days of the New Testament churches (Acts 6:9, 11:26, 20:28; James 2:2). I believe come out of Babylon cannot be seen as a command to come out of church attendance full stop when the New Testament gives this reoccurring truth of the Old Testament and is progressive revelation and teaching throughout the entire Word; and as mentioned that demonic spirits will always be a part of the church and in and over us as believers. In addition to come out of her not only refers to her false teachings and her lordship over a compromised church government but her way of living as Jezebel’s cage (Revelation 18:1-5) is full of every unclean bird – immorality lust fornication homosexuality adultery sensuality indecency greed idolatry are only a few things that are connected to her unclean birds in other words her spirits that come with transgressions that we are not to partake in and if so they have to be brought to death by The Holy Spirit (Romans 6:12-14, 8:13; Colossians 3:5). Being part of an assembly of believers in the natural is as biblical as do not murder, (1 Corinthians 1:2) but to be led by The Spirit is the only way to be covered by the reality of the churches spiritual condition today and to continuously seek and search and prove the doctrines. Fostering a walk in The Spirit and walking by the Spirit is the only way to know His will for us to be in what church or what denomination or what meeting place, or what fellowship or what church type that is His personal plan and purpose and will for our individual and or family life. Again I do not agree with writers who say come out of the church full stop because it is Babylon or because the church is in such apostasy or it is so man centred for this is studied negligence. For again consider what I wrote above about the churches of Revelation 2 and the parables of Jesus teachings and the overall pattern throughout the whole Bible that commands us to come together and meet as a body. Yet I agree not to sit in churches that have the obvious counterfeit of false signs and wonders or religious abuse and control or erroneous beliefs like if you’re not part of the true faith of Roman Catholics you’re going to 47

hell; or sit under those who shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces (Matthew 23:13). Or those who do not believe in eternal hell or the lake of fire or Jesus Christ as the only door to eternal life or give no power to The Blood of Christ or who venerate perverted Versions of Bibles (we only use the NIV, we only use The Message) or the “we keep Saturday Sabbath and whoever does not is going to hell for not keeping the this commandment” or “we do not operate in the gifts of The Spirit as they were only for the dispensation of the early church” or “women cannot teach or have authority over men or be Pastors or leaders or “tongues is of the devil.” There are many reasons I came out of church attendance for a season. Many Charismatic and Pentecostal churches were caught up in the false signs and wonders and He had to do a work that He willed to do in me personally around issues of the heart and my beliefs of Him and fear and in these times I came under His testing. I have failed some won others and one, in particular, I endured despite the intense demonic temptations yet it sent me in such a spin that I may have yielded if I was backed in a corner. But knowing this I did not allow myself to go near the corner and left that job. And the truth is I could not allow an attack of witchcraft false love and or lust to ruin my testimony, lose my anointing and shipwreck my calling and ministry, let alone give the darkness an all-out easy victory. I was amazed when her spirit of lust spoke to me to say “you are a lot stronger than I thought.” No, I know your plans for me devil and I have too much to lose and I have spent years in pain and tears to be where I am today to just throw it all away for a ship in the night of sexual pleasure that would profit me nothing but shame bondage and suffering and the loss of anointing for ministry and most of all ministry to others who look for freedom and deliverance from same-sex attraction and their sexual brokenness. We have to realize in these times of “pain” we will always have brokenness and these years bring their brokenness and sometimes takes years of restoration, and we have flight habits not yet fully sanctified and we will take off and start flying with them. Don’t be hard on yourself if you flew to high or further around your flight cycle than you wanted to, He knows your heart, your humanity and the persistent pressing of the demonic regardless of your warfare for He is Sovereign over your life. If you have yielded to a transgression (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 24:1-4; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 7:15-20; Matthew 19:9; Titus 1:4-9; Revelation 17:2, 4) that causes you to forfeit your ministry or you will be stood down because your reputation is no longer beyond reproach (1 Timothy 3:7; 5:20) than the discipline and restoration is to 48

be before your Pastors, Elders/Deacons and the congregation according to Scripture and your Denominations procedures. If your sin it not of these you now see the flight cycle to fully surrender it allow Him to bring it to death and you learn from it and you make a choice not to take that flight escape again by yielding when there is temptation if you have to get on your face and go for grace, lay down on the floor and stay there until Counsel and Might and Skill to Rule intertwines in your spirit. Look again in the direction you are going with the vision He has blessed you with, put on fresh linen forgive yourself and face your sea journey and embrace your call. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And full of the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, forty days, being tested by the Devil.â&#x20AC;? Luke 4:1-2 I have come to realize I am to accept it is He who promotes, He who sends, He who defines the ministry format and when and how I will be placed into a church that will receive me and allow me to guide other believers in that assembly to the internet sight and or speak from the pulpit even if this is ten years away. It comforts me to hold on to a truth of the current job I have as a courier for a Chemist; I had this job years before I worked there, I had the job before I walked into the door for an interview. He had planned and destined the position and the timing years before I began working at the Chemist and it will be the same for where I minister and where ministry will be received and accepted. I recall in October 2010 when I was complaining about being a house cleaner of the isolation and hard work that He said I could hold on a little longer. This is a message I hear again and again - You can hold on a little longer until the vision comes to pass, and this little longer may be one or three years away from now. If we look again, there is something in our life that testifies Him as the all-knowing all-seeing One with our transformation and vision. Just as He has brought me to a place of acceptance you too will have to accept His Lordship and ways in surrender, you will have to come to the place that it is He who guides and defines the totality of your destination. Compromise brings us out of the will of Yahweh and opens doors for darkness and flesh to rule not only in our own personal life but also against us from others in and over a church and or fellowship. Compromise can 49

give opportunity for the darkness to work through others that we do not fulfil the real mandate of the vision or that we even abort it or have those who have a false calling takeover it and put it in another direction. If we do not allow Him to be Him and we follow our intercessors who have not uprooted divination and other occult spirits, they will give us and our ministry false dreams and visions. Likewise, will those in forefront ministry do the same for we will not be discerning His movements for we are not fully equipped or have allowed Him to build the foundation. When we are more equipped we know what we are facing and what we are fighting and if we can put ourselves on the alter and allow Him to bring to death that which He wills so we will be triumphant as we come out of a season of wilderness or out of being hidden in a wilderness.

Surrender

The very storm you find yourself in may well be the very storm He wills for you to be in. My main storm has been a limitation of friendships and I have for various reasons fought against this and complained that it never changes and it is still has not changed. If I just yielded and stopped fighting against His will and allow Him to teach me in this and take a hold of faith, His Lordship and Sovereignty with the outworking of His will for me I would come out of this test quicker; the suffering would lesson and I would get the victory and see the bigger picture and glean much revelation and grace and the beauty of His presence and have His friendship. Truth is with any greatness of a vision it is not about us being pampered but about His will for what He will do in and through our lives. We are called to this walk of knowing Him and growing in the grace of The Lord Jesus Christ and the sharing in His suffering, so to try and run before we can walk will in no way train us for what He has for us. Abraham walked with Yahweh, so did Moses, Joseph, Enoch, David and John the Baptist and Paul and they still enjoyed life yet laid down their lives for a greater cause than themselves. They all spent much time in and out of the wilderness, much time alone and in these times their weaknesses were exposed yet they found their life in Him and this is what it is to be for us and it is a must. Ask Him to enable you to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;catch onâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and or discern what He is doing, what He wills you to know so you can run with Him. My resisting His will for years has added sorrow of heart for I have not realized His strategy; I 50

have not seen He has used my pain for an outworking of humility and dependence on Him and with any high call comes segregation and isolation. Reflect back and consider your weaknesses and what you do not see or want to deny allow Him to reveal them to you in the coming days, and it is here that you need a work done or a yielding so that He can bring this to death or strengthen and train and equip you. Listen again to your heart and hear why you are in the wilderness; what is He out working in your heart; what does He will you to know. Are you not awake to what He is outworking; are you resisting the work of humility and being broken; are you resisting being brought to nothing in you but you in Him? If He is silent, or only giving you a piece of His redemptive purpose then this is all you are to know. There is a truth that when we know what He is up to we will pretend we have made it, overcome it, surrendered it, achieved it or it is no longer an issue to us, yet He has not done a complete work in us in this area. Therefore, receive and embrace your circumstances and take Him a fresh as The Sovereign One and as the vision tarries wait, walk on towards it for it will surely come to pass.

All Seasons

While we are at sea we have to know what hunger is, what thirst is and what isolation is and we this truth is we have to be taken to the cross to walk in resurrection life. Yes, the call is without repentance, yet with much is given much is required; and if you are ever going to see the fullness of what He wills to do in and through you for His Kingdoms plans and purposes and to truly be what He wills you to be you have to enter the deep blue sea. Further, for any eternal value and for what is for the thousand year reign you have to hunger, thirst and be isolated and die to self and your vision so as to live for the King and The Kingdoms way of life as its citizen under His reign and rule walking His highway of holiness. You can go back to Egypt anytime you like and forfeit the vision to eat the fruits of the flesh and serve the lesser gods, or you can follow the column of smoke by day and the pillar of fire by night as uncomfortable as it seems.

Make your choice, it is here the choice has to be made or you may drown in the sea and or die in the wilderness and or you will walk longer there than you truly have to. As it has been said before “flesh spelt backwards is self, the h dropped stand for Him and this is what it will amount to - a life of self without Him” yet this is not the higher life we are called to or capable of walking in. Truth is He is Lord and what we sow we will reap and if He has ordained for us a sea/wilderness and if this sea/wilderness has no opportunity of friendships new or old or whatever until a far off then He will in due season give us the reward of the days we have sowed from His leading and guiding to reach towards His potential. He has chosen you for the journey He has ordained this for you, it is not Sister Sally’s heart for the way she and her husband pastors their church downtown or how brother Bob a Prophet to the nations has been given his heart and vision. But the vision and heart and direction is what He has chosen for you personally and for your ministry. So just follow and obey whilst He takes you in times of hunger, thirst and isolation and stop kicking against His prods. Flesh or Him it’s your choice? Grow up or stay shut up, cross the line and just pick up your cross and hold the cup of suffering for a cause greater than your desires of your base nature. Live a life in the Spirit and in the Spirit rise above the flesh; here is where your heart will find its song of contentment here will you find true gratification for your flesh and here will your ego no longer dictate your course and your vision. You have to come to this place and this is the heart and place of a priest and a king unto Him. “Whom shall He teach knowledge? And to whom shall He explain the message? Those weaned from milk, those moving from breasts? 10. For precept must be on precept, precept on precept; line on line, line on line; here a little, there a little.” Isaiah 28:9-10

Falling In Love

“God calls us to Himself alone. To fall in love with the Master and to find fulfilment in Him as we respond to His demands of love will move us into maturity. We are not to live superficially but allow God to move us to where He wants us to be, finding our security in Him and not in our ministry, profession, people or things.” 4. [Tang, 1997:9] A revelation just hit my spirit from the book “The Demands of Love” by Susan Tang; after reading a forward by Pastor Jean Lim (as written 52

above) that my present wilderness is not about sanctification, not about refinement, not about correction, not about coming out of Babylon or the Church system but to find my fulfilment in Him and Him alone. I am not to find my life in the call, the vision, the mantle, the opening of the doors of Triumphant Ministries or in acceptance and popularity of friendships or having compatible friendships but just Jesus and relationship with Him as my all in all, utmost and foremost. Remember this the years will weary you whilst you wait for your heart to change and the vision will tarry, yes it will most assuredly it will tarry. If we do not accept that the vision will tarry and trust, He is in control then we will get weary we will make choices of the flesh that complicate our walk with Him and we will even make impulsive fleshly decisions that will cause us and others grief. Being tired of being friendless, tired of being in isolation, tired of having reigns on me being broken in and not being able to run in the long paddock. Tired of His requirements and tired of separation and knowing the vision is far off that I have made a mutual friend with a believer but not a follower. Then to add I become so busy â&#x20AC;&#x153;making moneyâ&#x20AC;? I stopped doing the work of the Kingdom and I failed to renew my mind to feed myself on spiritual food then I chose not to listen to obey Him in the little things. I became so busy that I became dry and this went hand in hand with little prayer other than routine prayer days. Then what happened, I could not hear Him in the big things I wanted to know and He was not going to tell me either for I now realize He will not anoint a fleshly lifestyle when we are called to be consecrated unto Him for works of The Kingdom. Out my office window I see beige cattle on the distant hill and in the paddocks across from my home there are jersey milking cows and two retired race horses. To the right of my window is a paddock that has different seasonal crops and above the banks of the creek and the smell wanders over and to top this off the railway line runs with the delightful sounds of trains. I am truly blessed beyond in so many ways and provided for above and beyond whilst I am in separation for my calling yet I have not come to terms that my life is with Him and in the presence of Him utmost and foremost before any friendship, attraction change, vision, calling, mantle or the opening of the doors of Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba. He will call us to come away with Him in many ways (Song of Solomon 2:10) and He will call us to come up to the mountain (Mark 3:13). He may require of us to be in a hidden wilderness for several years

just as Moses was hidden for forty years or we may be like Elisha in public for ten years alongside of Elijah being as a humble servant. When it is our time to come out of any wilderness Jesus will speak clearly and circumstances around us will bear witness. The brook dried up for Elijah, Moses was told to get up and move on and Elisha received the sign of Elijahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glory departure to receive a double portion. Paul was hidden in Arabia even after years of Torah schooling he had to go for years into a wilderness of the school of The Holy Spirit. Jesus knows when to expose us and He knows how to, but He has to lay solid foundations and we have to allow Him. He knows how to bring us forth so He can build in us what is necessary for each and everything so that we become the building that does not allow termites, cockroaches or false builders to renovate, pull down or add that which He has to build. Money fame fortune has destroyed many a Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s people in as much as wolfs in sheepâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothing that are not truly called but believe they are and because they have not uprooted their sins and have received the call under the voices of the necromancer and divination they minister. Many of these have been exalted to high places in the Kingdom of God because the kingdom of darkness has seen their own potential in the principle of the trogon horse. They have also moved out many of chosen ones because these left their wilderness too early or have not submitted to the long lonely voyage and or wilderness of training for reigning. If you are called to fulfil a mandate, your individual destiny and flesh and demonic will to destroy you before you are chosen. If The Jesus Christ is not requiring, you to be in the beginning or position of calling to date then do not be like those who were humbled because willed to kill giants that they were not called to slay.

both Lord your they

Remain where He wills you to remain, He has other mighty men and women to slay those giants, your turn will come when it is you appointed time and you will know that timing because you have submitted to His wilderness of testing, intimacy and teaching with Him and Him alone. Listen, follow and obey Him and do not force the arm of Yahweh or manipulate to put yourself in ministry. Do not receive an opportunity to be placed in ministry or, however, your vision will come to pass unless you yourself know that this is the way to walk in. When you know that you know and have learnt to discern Him from your own voice/will and voices of darkness you will be in His will and walking according to His directive.

I have walked towards the vision and waited and waited for years and years for a beginning to see the opening of the doors of Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba. On the 25th of March 2010, I emailed a Christian woman to ask if she would do the ministries site. Then on the 25th October 2010 I mailed a USB stick with the information for Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba site and ten books for free download. I was not hindered or halted by The Spirit but sensed to continue to walk in this direction. On the 21st January 2011 I discovered the ministry site went live in cyber space yet it had not been completed nor did it contain any books I have rewritten to suit Depart To The Other Side. I did not even know that that platform was a stepping stone and not the true vision, but I stepped out to walk on water. It took nine months from start to finish for the internet site to be up and running. Even though it seems like a long time it is here we have to stand trusting in His overshadowing and trust in His timing and continue in prayer and warfare. The beginning of my vision was coupled with various ideas and that internet ministry was one, and that is a beginning and to this I rejoice and am thankful I did step out to walk on water. The particular books on that site that is now closed have been rewritten refined for now I have the vision and the flock and I have the direction. Hopefully this time it is the correct vision and I am in the right direction! To this date I have fought the good fight I have hung in there regardless of opposition from both flesh and darkness, I have obeyed the call and taken it with two hands, sunk so many times but stood back up in Him and got back in the boat. This we have to do it will not come to pass by itself it will not come to pass waiting for someone to do it for you or hold your hand and walk you every step of the way, most of the time it is you and Him, especially if your ministry has to be established outside the walls of the Church government. Therefore, go forth towards the call and vision on your life at whatever cost whatever adversary and at whatever it takes to take the land so as to step into it and fulfil it; for He who has called you will be faithful and He is Able yes He is Able and He is the Author and Finisher of your call and vision.

Appointed and Sent

“The Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” Then … they laid their hands on them and sent them off.” Acts 13:2-3 NRSV

You Will Discern

We will be sent to a specific people of The Lord and we have to know at what platform we will deliver our heart and the vision. Will it be radio, webcast, internet, Skype, U-tube, and Podcasts, Television, books, pulpit, in a business, in government, schools, and so on? This will have to be streamlined to know who they are. Like are they those who were once entrenched in the occult and need the keys to deliverance, are they the demonized in fear and terror? Are they men, are they women? It will be as specific like mine is to women that are or have been sexually broken having once or still struggle with same sex attraction and also women who do not believe they should be in leadership or teaching men. Maybe for you they are those in need of a miracle and healing from sickness illness or disease; or they are leaders only; or they are teenagers coming off the street; or adults or teenagers who have been abused; or they are business people, or they are Kingdom wealth generators; or they are a specific denomination. Over time, you will know and you will see your area of anointing and gifting very clearly. I am anointed and gifted to write books and teachings and these are in line with the prophecies gone before me. You may be anointed and gifted to speak only and not write books and teachings or it may be both; or it may be to counsel, or you may be anointed and gifted to heal and to cast out devils or you may even use or be led to Skype to do individual or group deliverance ministry or whatever is your specific anointing and gifting you have to run after it or you will perish at sea. If we do not know we will struggle and the enemy will get an advantage and it can waste much time even years before we come before those He has set aside for us to minister the Kingdom to hears us –if I could turn back time! He will point this out and He only can show us who they are and enable us to see clearly so we can walk in that direction. I cannot take the knowledge of the kingdom of darkness to those who are new believers, they need to be grounded in His Covenant, but to those who are grounded and mature in the faith they can receive and handle the 56

uncovering of devices of darkness. Neither can I take the message of reconciliation to those who have not been bound in same-sex attraction like me for they are not my target group or my flock. Do not worry if He has not or you do not know as yet your flock/part of the body for this is unfolding and it has been slow for me. I knew I would teach women to walk in The Spirit, but if He had told me years ago I would minister to a specific part of the body of women who are or who had once been homosexual I would not have endured or learnt from my pain or brought forth a message from my pain or been built up and trained to the measure I am to date. We have to trust in His will for us and His process of bringing the vision to pass, we have to trust His way of training and equipping us to bring us to the place that defines the vision more clearly. Father who are the people in the body that You have set aside for me to reveal Your calling on my life. Let me know that I know that I know who those are in the body I am to bring this vision to. I will trust in You if You are not saying anything definite as I believe it will unfold and become quite clear as time goes on. Thank You for the call and the vision You have placed in my heart, thank you for the good, the bad and that You have delivered me from the kingdom of darkness. Thank You for what You will do and what You have done for me personally and what You will do through me to reach Your Kingdom people. I submit to the work in me and to Your Sovereignty and Lordship, I love You, Amen and Amen.

Faithfulness Is A Lesson Learnt

Jesus has been given all authority (Matthew 28:18) and no matter what our vision is we all have to be under His authority therefore under the authority as written in The Word of the fivefold ministry (Ephesians 4:1112). My calling is a Teacher, teaching the ways of Yahweh and the building up and edifying of His body, I am not called to be a Pastor therefore as called with a ministry outside the walls of the church I still have to obey His Ordained Kingdom authority (1 Corinthians 12:28; Ephesians 4:1112).

I may be gifted in various ways than my Pastors but because they stand in their offices of authority above me I have to submit to authority of church structure and respect and honour others Pastors or those in authority throughout the body of Christ as a whole. We all have to submit to the different types of authority, not only in the church government but also that of the nation we live in: “Then be in obedience to every ordinance of men because of the Lord; whether to a king, as being supreme; 14. or to governors, as though Him having indeed been sent for vengeances on evildoers-but praise on well-doers-15. because so is the will of God, doing good to silence the ignorance of foolish men; 16. as free, and not having freedom as a cover of evil, but as slaves of God; 17. honour all, love the brotherhood, fear God, honour the king.” 1 Peter 2: 13-17 “Obey those taking the lead of you, and submit, for they watch for our souls, giving account, that they may do this with joy, and not with groaning; for this would be no profit to you.” Hebrews 13:17 “Let every soul be subject to higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God; but the authorities that exist have been ordained by God. 2. So that the one resisting authority has opposed the ordinance of God: and the ones opposing will receive judgment to themselves.” Romans 13:1-2 “Slaves obey the lords according to flesh in all respects, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart fearing god. 23. And whatever you may do, work from the soul, as to the Lord, and not to men, 24. knowing that from the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance. For you serve the Lord Christ. 25. But the one doing wrong will receive what he did wrong, and there is no respect of persons.” Colossians 3:22-25 Obedience is for all of us who are citizens of The Kingdom, yet you might say it is a perpetual wilderness for those of us who are called out with one or more or all of the fivefold ministries for we have to adhere more so to obedience. All the excuses and or reasoning with Jesus will not hold any weight with Him The Word especially once our obedience is complete and or when we know what the Word writes; for He will correct “every act of disobedience” (2 Corinthians 10:6) for blatant rebellion and or consistent abuse of His Grace, Kindness and Mercy. 58

The darkness is alive and operative in and over the unbeliever in as much as judgment from Yahweh is in and over us by His Spirit. Faithfulness is a lesson I have learnt from poor choices, ignorance, negligence, brokenness and pleasing others than Him for acceptance. Stay honest stay faithful in all weather conditions receive Him to invite Him in all your thoughts all your pain all your joy all things for He shares the same body you live in.

He Will Define Your Call

“He will draw all men/women to us” and or He will draw those to us that He has called us to minister to; He will ensure that those who have to hear the message we have will hear it. Be assured you will see God’s hand on your calling and vision thus its bears witness. If your vision is for the youth, then realize you are not and will not be called to minister to the elderly or to children or to the mainstream congregation as a whole. We have to stay focused because we are not called to impart the visions message to the whole body. If you are not called to deliver those from darkness to light, then don’t waste your time and energy on the arena that is not yours for you will waste His time chasing a dream that is not yours. If you have not defined what your ministry is or what your vision is stay humble and allow Him to do a work on your ego as you may not be the greatest witness the church has ever seen. Even if that is the prophecy it may not be on a global scale that the whole earth sees but only those who your message is for. Recall even Jesus stayed focused He came specifically to the house of Israel. For my main flock, I am to minister to those who have come out of homosexuality or who are in bondage to same-sex attraction. In addition to women who are in bondage to the heresy that women cannot be Pastors or Teachers over men. Therefore, for me to try to reach those who are not in these bondages the message will fall on deaf ears and I will be trying to minister to people who are not interested in the calling on my life. For me to want to teach and preach to the large churches throughout the world just to be seen or heard is going to bring disappointment and I will be calling myself to give my message my heart to the wrong crowd, therefore out of His will. 59

It is as simple as this, we cannot play a soccer game and rugby game at the same time, we are to play one game at a time and know those game rules. So let Jesus run your course let Jesus direct your direction let Jesus outwork your call and vision.

Flock

If you have been set apart from the womb of your mother (Galatians 1:15) then He has set, you apart (Acts 13:2) to bring forth a specific message of The Gospel and He will ensure you are taught how to be appointed and sent with the vision He has given you. It is not my intention in this book to scripturally teach how we are given the calling of Apostle, Prophet or Teacher or Pastor or leader, neither to teach how we get placed into ministry or what is the correct scriptural commissioning to be sent forth or how are we appointed and commissioned. It may be that your ministry is within the walls of Church government then you cannot ignore the principles set out in Scripture on how you will be placed in your leadership calling and or appointed a servant under the policies of the Church of His selection. The procedures of how the Church appoints men and women to positions will be by their constitution according to their biblical denominational beliefs. My ministry vision is outside my local four walls of the church and this government and will not be governed by a denomination or church eldership. That does not mean that I am not to belong to a church house, but the direction and vision of the ministry is under His covering and His Authority His directive (Acts 4:19). Therefore, I will not be appointed or chosen by the church government/denomination or be sent with the heart or vision of their church. However, I am connected with global ministries who approve of the content of this ministry, thus I am still answerable to Christian government. I pray “the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, give to you a Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your mind having been enlightened for you to know what is the hope of His calling, and what the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us, the ones believing according to the working of His mighty strength which He worked in Christ in raising Him from the dead-yea, He seated Him at His right hand in the heavenlies…” Ephesians 1:17-20

Pinpointing

In your sea voyage, many of your past fleshly choices will be a temptation and some of these are fuelled by spirits of darkness. He will call us out into the deep to be tempted (Luke 4:1-2) in different seasons of our waiting and this is to show us what will come again and again and again against us in the future if we do not overcome it today and see our own weakness’s. It is here that we will be tested to such stretching that temptation to flight cycles will take place so we have to learn from them and see our open doors and weakness. Pinpointing our flight cycles enables us to cease going there. In addition, pinpointing and accepting His will and direction on our lives also stops us from flying too high or too far round the cycle. I had continued a platonic friendship with a certain man because I had not fully seen or accepted His leading or did I accept my friendlessness with no communication on my intellectual level. This man I so enjoyed his “head space” and his open mindedness to my counsel and conversations on church, the people in it and the beliefs I hold. But many a time I’d come away from visiting him saddened for the bad outweighs the good than I’d tell God it is His fault. But the truth is it is my fault as I have rebelled and walked away from the requirements of a separated life unto Him and that I, yes me myself and I have accepted less than His perfect will in my wilderness. Many times temptation will be disguised as something good for us yet it will take us in the direction that is not good for us, so it is here we have to learn to obey the inner leading of The Spirit and if it is not comfortable with our flesh or when we do not understand His leading we are best to obey His direction regardless of the pain in the soul. He knows what is best for His children and He knows the pitfalls in the direction we want to take and He does understand our weakness that cause us to go in our flight cycles, but they can no longer be excuses when we are aware of them and know His power to deliver us and provide a way out. Trusting in His knowledge enables us not to make mistakes that are difficult to walk away from or that have temptations that could compromise our vision or may even take us o of the vision for a period of time that was intended for His time with us. These decisions hinder the vision, its

launching and we have given the devil opportunity to establish us in the call and vision of the flesh and not The Spirit. No matter what sins you have partaken in or what sins are there for temptation in the choice you have made because you have been tired of a separated life or resisted or misunderstood His directive they are sins that need to be renounced, repented of and no longer partaking in. You can’t just laugh the rest of your life you can’t just walk on water the rest of your life and you just can’t stay a practicing homosexual the rest of your life or run your life according to your own vision and dream. You are called for higher purposes than a life of the flesh or any agreement with darkness or a friendship with a rebellious son or daughter who has no desire to serve The Lord Jesus but to cause you to serve them, their ways and their beliefs. Therefore, you are to return to Him to the call of king and priest and to the vision and come away with Him once more to His direction of choice and if that is no friends to date on your intellectual level than that is His will for you. For the truth is it is His prerogative; we are not our own, and when the rubber hits the road it’s the either the fullness of the call of God or He will limit the call or it may be no call at all for we will bring the destruction (Hebrews 10:26-29; Galatians 5:19-21). When we follow Him and His Counsel He enables us not to make mistakes, and it as The Word says faith comes by hearing the Word of God or moreover faith comes by doing what The Word of God says, then we experience the faith. Then strength comes to continue to obey His leading and His perfect plan and purpose in our wilderness whether we understand it or not. Father, I repent where I have backslidden and where I have sinned by my rebellion of ______________; forgive me anoint me a fresh to walk away and I now commit myself afresh to Your chosen deep sea, in Jesus Name Amen

Prayer Strategy

Father in Jesus Name I declare I shall not die but live, and I shall not allow the kingdom of darkness to cause me to abort, abandon or miss the vision that You have placed in my heart. Father where I have allowed the works of darkness to lie, steal and destroy any part of my restoration, the calling and vision on my life I repent. I ask for revelation and understanding where this is hidden and where I have knowingly and unknowing received their works. Father, where I have become discouraged and have backslidden and where I have chosen death over life I repent and renounce my idolatry, adultery, fornication, lust, immorality, television substitution, overeating, the love of the world, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life, lusts of the flesh,

company

with

unbelievers,

addictions,

drinking,

________,

________, __________ that have taken me away from the direction of the vision Father, where I do not desire the journey anymore or the vision and call on my life, where I would rather the backslidden life, the secular and ways of the world, the lusts of the flesh, I repent and ask for forgiveness, and I now ask for a fresh anointing to enable me to rise up again in Your Power to take hold of the call and run with the vision, restore to me all that I have forfeited by my disobedience in the transgressions. Father,

acknowledge

finding

hard

yield

this

transgression(s) over to You, but I am willing to be made willing so that You can change my heart that I may rise up again and take a hold of that

which You have assigned for my life for Your Kingdoms plans and purposes and your will for me to be a king and a priest. Father, help me not to react and take flight to go to my sin structures when the enemy or something blocks my goals, slows me down, or things do not go according to my plans, help me to use my emotions than them using me. Father, I repent where I have become empty and weary in running after the vision and because it tarries and because it requires such diligence and dedication that I do not want to run after it. I repent also where I have gone in the wrong direction with the vision and where I have not understood the direction and timing of the vision. Where I have not prayed into my being born from above and the vision to strengthen it and myself I also repent. I repent where I have and want to run with the vision in my time, not Yours, anoint me afresh to stay in the sink with Your appointed time. I ask that you would pray for me and raise up intercessors around the world to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Father, enable me to get past wanting to be set free from same sex attraction and being in ministry before Your appointed time. Help me to fix my eyes on You and Your plans at present for me, help me not focus on the worldly gifts of life and the worlds ways of healing and promotion but the source and provision of life in You and then to stand until my heart has changed and doors are open by You. Help me to realize and to see where I am expecting life from the wrong source and looking to me and others and these ways than to You. Even where I have been at ease (Isaiah 16:12; Jeremiah 48:11) that You will bring it to pass because the gifts and the callings are without 64

repentance I repent for taking advantage of grace and not being the vessel that You will continue to sanctify, teach, train and equip and cause to walk on the highway of holiness. Where I have been offended when you have corrected me I repent and repent of my pride. Lord Jesus I return back to that place and ask you to uproot my conformability with my iniquities and continue to bring me to humility and bring to death all other iniquities that would keep me from becoming all that You would have me to be. Where you have been sanctifying me to equip me for the vision, and I resisted Your will I repent and willfully surrender a fresh and new to be back where I fell not only in pride and rebellion but where my faith failed me because I got it wrong in the spirit and felt shame. I return to continue to learn to hear in the spirit and ask that You would anoint me afresh with discerning of spirits and a teaching anointing to learn to distinguish Your voice from the voices of darkness and vice versa to my own voice. Father I repent and renounce all rebellion, stubbornness and idolatry and ask you to bring to death everywhere I am rebellious, stubborn and reveal the idolatry I have. Lead me to teachings and ministries to teach train and equip so that my eyes and ears are open to my transgressions and iniquities. Empower me to accept liberty in Christ and to enjoy liberty and to accept a lifestyle separation and a walk in The Spirit. Father, I declare I will walk in the newness of life in the anointing of king and priest and in the calling, mantle and vision You have for my life, and no weapons formed against me will prevail or prosper. I come out to be totally separate for that which You have for the vision and call on my life, and I ask for a breaking of any and all strongholds and false visions to come into the power of The Light of Your Spirit.

Father where doors are open down I ask that you lead me in the way everlasting to restore these paths and that I may not take the false as true. Cause me to prove all things and hold fast to the truth (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21; 2 Peter 2:1a; Ezekiel 12:24, 13:6-7, 9-10; Jeremiah 14:14). Father, break every cord to control, and I ask for the anointing to break the yoke so I may separate to walk in Your revelation and truth. Father, I ask for resurrection anointing against fear, dead religion and transgressions of my own, and ever false and counterfeit mantle. I declare I am coming out of the witchcraft in the church, religious control and manipulation and their doctrines and teachings that I am deaf and blind to; I declare I shall see, and I shall hear. I declare I will have eyes to see and an ear to hear where my very foundations are built on false teachings of the churches religion and its works of heresy and error and its offices and all the traditions of men. Where I have made a covenant with religious witchcraft and all heresy and error of denominational teachings, traditions and their religious ways I repent and declare I will have eyes to see and ears to hear to come out. I lay down my voyage; my restoration, my transformation, my vision, and my call my anointing a fresh today so that any idolatry and flesh be brought to death. I ask for an uprooting of all witchcraft, sorcery and magic that is in and over my life, if I am to be led, lead me to ministries that are more equipped so I may have understanding and knowledge to uproot this in and over my life. Father, I give you today my desires, my instincts, my personality, my mind, my body, my spirit, my vision, my calling, my ministry, my sin structures and all strongholds and all my worries.

Father, I ask for a fresh anointing on me to mature and grow up to a life of walking in The Spirit as a king and priest serving You and being in intimate relationship with You. Also to diligently run after the call, vision, and all that it entails that I may fulfil vision and reach destination. I come into agreement that we are partners in this vision, and even though it is from You, I am to work towards it with discipline and dedication that it comes to pass. I come into agreement with You on commitment and give You first priority that the Kingdom may come in and through my life for Your redemptive plans and purposes. Father where I am under the law of religion, the law of sin and death and the false teachings of being freed from the penalty of breaking Your laws because it is all under the blood, and we are in grace I renounce this lies from the teachings of religion, show me this truth. Where I am trained in dead religion and witchcraft religion, the false and the counterfeit I ask for a newness of life and a fresh anointing to run after truth and to walk towards a deep walk of truth of Your Word. I ask for a desire for Your Hebraic understanding of Your truth, not the Gregorian or Hellenistic religion that has been taught over many generations with the Greek ways of thought of the gods of Hermes and Mercury. Father, I declare the prophetic words spoken to me concerning the vision to the kingdom of darkness: Devil I address you from my position in the third heavens and speak the call and vision on my life as a weapon of warfare against you, I prophesy my prophecies against you, breathe on my words by Your breath my Father. [The following are mine, please speak out yours. Whatever your prophecies are speak these out and wage warfare with them; then allow them to speak once again to your spirit 67

wo/man that your soul wo/man receives and believes once again the vision.] “You will write prophetically and these will be published.” “You will be one of the greatest witnesses the church has ever seen when God heals you.” “You will be tall in the Spirit and tall in the Spirit against the enemy just as you are tall in the natural.” “You will teach women to walk in The Spirit.”

Father all Glory all Power belongs to You In Jesus Name Amen.

End Notes

Matt, Alwyn Reformation through Prophecy [Greenridge Press, Toowoomba, QLD 4350, 2010]

Jackson, Ericka, D. The Power of Vision: Recognizing God’s Call [www.docuter.com/viewer.asp?documentid…the…vision…god’s…-]

Hammond, Grace [Bethel Ministries PO Box 229 Toowoomba, 4350, 2009]

Tang, Susan. [Station of Life Ministries http://www.station-oflife.org/EBOOK.htm ]

Bibliography

Hammond, Grace [Bethel Ministries PO Box 229 Toowoomba, 4350, 2009] Jackson, Ericka, D. The Power of Vision: Recognizing God’s Call [www.docter.com/viewer.asp?documentid…the…vision…god’s…- ] Matt, Alwyn Reformation through Toowoomba, Qld, 4350, 2010] Tang, Susan. [Station life.org/EBOOK.htm ]

Life

Prophecy Ministries

[Greenridge

Press,

http://www.station-of

Acknowledgments

Duplantis, Jesse. The Everyday Visionary â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Focus Your Thoughts, Change Your Life [Touchstone/Howard Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas \New York, NY 10020, 2008] Grein, Janny. Called Appointed Anointed [Harrison House, Inc, PO Box 35035, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74153] Hunting, Joseph H. The Vineyard - Volume 17 No 2, 3, 9 [David Press, 67 Murrumbeena Road, Murrumbeena, Victoria, 3163, 1975] Matt, Alwyn. Reformation Through Toowoomba, QLD 4350, 2010]

Prophecy

[Greenridge

Press,

Meyer Joyce. Approval Addiction - Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone [Warner Faith 1271 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020, 2005] Munsey, Steve. Unleashing Your Marketing, Inc. Dallas, TX, 2004]

God-Given

Dreams

[Clarion

Call

Phillips Bob & Alyn Kimberly. How to Deal with Annoying People [Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon, 97402, 2003] Traut, Ed. The Truth About Prophecy [Prophetic Voice Distributors, PO Box 11809 Queensland, 1991]

NOTES ____________________________________________________

Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality By Knowing Your Purpose & Holding onto The Vision Book 1 When you apply the teachings in this book they will not only guide you in all types of weather but will give you faith and hope as you prayerfully seek Jesus Christ. You will learn lessons from history, lessons from our King and High Priest so you can be strengthened to stand steadfast in all storms. His counsel might and skill to rule will bring The Wind in your sails for power to press on to the vision of the other side and fulfil ministry vision He has placed within your heart. Without a vision, without hope we lose heart, therefore, we minister loss to ourselves. This book in your survival kit will cause you to learn how to keep your eyes in the direction of hope, trust, faith and dependence. As storms will come and you will be tested by adversary; your storms will be a test of the flesh and your storms will be used as a test by Jesus. But without vision without sight towards the other side your heart will waver with every storm.

Kathleen Malligan Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba 74