13 minute read
Must-Do’s for the New Year
Last year my husband and I set a goal to set up our will and estate plan. This forced us to look at who would become guardians of our children, what we would do in the event of one spouse’s death, when and how our money would be allocated and more. These conversations were tough, simply because of the subject matter. Although this process wasn’t enjoyable, I’m so glad we checked it off our list because we can both rest assured that our kids will be taken care of, and our affairs are in order, if needed.
As we begin a new year, it’s not uncommon to reflect on the highs and lows of the previous year as well as our accomplishments. We may also reflect on what important items on our list we did not accomplish. Even those of us who enjoy setting goals and meeting them may have a few items on our lifetime to-do list that we have been putting off. As you set goals and intentions for the new year, consider tackling some of these important, but not always fun to-do’s, that you may have been procrastinating.
Appoint guardians for your children
Our children are the most important part of our lives, and it is irresponsible not to consider who would care for them if something were to happen to both parents. Though this scenario may be unlikely, it’s best to have a plan in place so that the parents’ wishes are followed if they are not around to speak for themselves. Discuss with your partner or co-parent and come to an agreement you are both comfortable with. After you have chosen guardians, speak with them to make sure they are comfortable with the plan. It doesn’t hurt to have a backup in mind in the event that your first choice doesn’t work out. Make sure you put it in writing.
Retirement and estate planning
Once you have the guardians established and are ready to put it into writing, you can create a will or estate. Have you planned for retirement? When will you retire and how will you pay expenses after retirement? Who will inherit your assets and money after you pass? How will it be divided and when will it be received? Do you have life insurance to help support the surviving spouse and children? These questions are not fun to talk about but are very necessary. If your wishes aren’t in writing, you can’t guarantee that they will be carried out as you had hoped. This can lead to strife within the family or the challenge of your assets being tied up in probate for years. To set up your will or estate, contact an attorney or a financial advisor to help guide you through the process and make sure your affairs are in order.
Break a bad habit
Habits are hard to break. This year choose one bad habit such as smoking, eating junk food or spending too much time on social media. Replace it with a healthy habit such as exercising, meditation or reading. Set a goal, start small and take it one day at a time. It can be helpful to choose an accountability partner who can check in on your progress and encourage you if you have the desire to give up or have a relapse.
Tell people how you feel
It’s never too late to tell someone how you feel about them. Do something special to let your spouse know you care. Call your grandparents and ask them to share stories of their childhood. Hug your kids and spend time laughing with them. Make memories, forgive others, spread kindness and settle disagreements. Life is too short.
Clean the closet
Most of us have a junk drawer, closet, garage or basement that we have been ignoring for months, years or even decades. Pick one area in the house you have been neglecting and sort through the items. It feels great to donate or throw away things you no longer need. It’s time to let go of those favorite jeans from high school. You will probably never wear them again anyway. As you purge, reorganize the items you plan to keep. If you have a lot to tackle, start small. Focus on one area of the house and narrow it down to one closet, shelf or drawer at a time if needed.
Do something you’ve been putting off
“I’ve always wanted to run a marathon.” “Someday I will write a book.” “I’d like to travel to Europe.”
We all have one dream that has always been in the back of our minds. Whether it’s a fitness goal, a travel destination or a daring adventure like skydiving, there always seems to be a reason to put it off. Now is the time. This year, make plans to do what you have always wanted. If it’s not in the budget right now, start saving and set a goal to make it happen in the near future.
As the new year begins, allow yourself to tackle one item on your lifetime to-do list that you may have been procrastinating. These tasks may not be fun, but they are worthwhile.
Sarah Lyons is a freelance writer from Olathe where she lives with her husband and six children.
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kids collections:
A Great Way to Boost Learning and Processing Skills
iremember having collections as a child, don’t you? I remember the joy I felt when I added a new, sparkly rock to my rock collection. I recall my Hello Kitty sticker album where I not only collected, but arranged and categorized my stickers. I remember collecting these small fuzzy bears, which are now called “vintage” and miniature Trolls before they were a blockbuster hit. Guess I have kind of dated myself a bit! At any rate, while collections to us as adults might seem trivial or useless, children can benefit greatly from starting and managing their own collections.
A great thing about collecting is that it naturally provides some fun teaching opportunities, without your kids’ realizing they’re learning. Anna, whose 19-monthold collects different versions of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse characters (stuffed animals, bath toys, chunky puzzle pieces, small figurines, stickers, etc.), highlights a great example of this exact situation. “At first it was just for fun, but then she started using them to draw comparisons,” Anna says. “She tells us which ones are bigger and smaller, softer and harder, matching in color, etc. She’s also started using them to practice prepositions such as ‘Big Minnie is on small Minnie’ or ‘Goofy is next to Daisy.’ So not only does she just love them, but also they’ve become an easy, fun teaching tool too!”
Beginning a collection also can instill a passion in children, as well as introduce them to things they might not normally be interested in. For example, if your child’s grandparent shares a coin or stamp collection, or an older sibling has a baseball card collection, your child may take up an interest in one of those or decide she’d like to learn more about it. This might lead to a trip to the library so she can pick out some books on her newfound interest, which in turn can lead to a renewed love of reading by finding a topic to be passionate about. Bonus!
At the same time, collections can foster relationships among people. Collections can bridge the generation gap, bring siblings closer together and encourage new friendships. “While your child is negotiating a card trade or informing a classmate about the new addition to his dinosaur collection, he’s inspired to interact with other children. A collection can be a great way to boost selfesteem, as well as serve as a smooth entry into friendships. If your child is new to a school or neighborhood, discussing his trading card collecting can be a great icebreaker. Meeting kids who share a similar interest could mean he’s also found new buddies,” according to BabyCenter.com.
Collecting can teach children the fine art of patience and responsibility as well. True collecting is slow. Anyone can go outside and find a load of sticks or rocks to add to their collection in no time at all. However, if your child is collecting coins, stamps, sports cards, etc., he will need patience in trying to find just the right item to complete his collection. Likewise, children learn that these same items require special care and attention, as some are quite delicate and need preserving.
I love the quote from Pyschology Today that says, “Sometimes a collection is not just a collection, but a spur to the imagination, to learning and creating. And that’s what makes collecting in childhood a worthy pursuit.” We don’t hear much about collections these days, but maybe we should.
Julie Collett writes from Overland Park. She is constantly finding acorns, sticks, leaves, rings, coins, etc., around the house that her children are “collecting.”
How Rhythms Help Moms
As parents, our lives are ruled by routines. We have a bedtime routine, naptime routine, mealtime routine and, likely, hundreds of others. Whether you realize it or not, you may also have rhythms.
Rhythms are things that trigger other things. They are fluid actions throughout the day that allow one task to flow into the next.
While routines are strict, rhythms are natural.
Routines are made to feel organized and punctual. But a good rhythm feels effortless.
And isn’t that what every parent wants—effortless flow throughout the day?
What Is a Rhythm?
When you wake up, you turn on the coffee maker and let the dog out. While the dog is outside you grab an ice pack out of the freezer and put it in the lunch box on the counter. Next, you put the lunch into your child’s backpack. By now, the dog is finished outside, so you let him in. Once you’re done doing those things, the coffee is warm. All of your actions roll together, with each one triggering the next. The signal for packing your child’s lunch was turning on the coffee maker, which triggered letting the dog out, which in turn, cued putting the ice pack in the lunch box.
Thus a simple—but necessary—morning rhythm is born.
In a short amount of time you completed three tasks: set up coffee, let the dog out and put together your child’s lunch. These are automatic triggers. Turning on the coffee maker starts the day, then reminds you to let the dog out. Letting the dog back inside means the coffee must be ready to enjoy.
Most likely, you already implement rhythms. They make our days run so much more smoothly. They are adapted to serve you and your entire household. Every person, no matter their season or life stage, can benefit from a good rhythm. They don’t help only parents, they do wonders for kids, too!
Rhythms and Kids
Rhythms help tired mamas all day long, but especially with the known pain points of each day—bath, bed, meals, getting out the door, playtime, etc. They help kids know what’s next and begin to anticipate the change in activity. Children can be gently eased into things they may not necessarily enjoy by rhythms. As a result, transitions occur with a little less pushback—we all hope!
Plenty of people abide by a schedule. Everyone has routines to help accomplish tasks. And adults and children both tend to be schedule oriented. But according to Waldorf principles, rhythms help children more clearly understand the time of day. This is because they encourage predictability.
At 1:00 in the afternoon, your children know what happens when you dim the lights and shut the blinds—even if you haven’t told them it’s naptime. They know it’s dinner when their sibling puts a plate on their highchair. They know bath time is approaching if pajamas are on the bathroom counter. They know to take their water bottle to the park if it’s sitting on the stairs when they put their shoes on.
Because children can’t easily grasp the concept of time, it might be difficult for them to understand when you say words like tomorrow or last week. These phrases feel vague to them. This is why, when we speak to younger children about time, it’s often paired with events they’re familiar
with. Some examples? We will go to the park after lunch. You have soccer before dinner. Your birthday is right after Christmas. We will go to Grandma’s on the Fourth of July.
Implementing Rhythms
Make rhythms work for you! They are best used during times that need flexible structure. Rhythms are not set in stone. In fact, tailoring them to the age or season you are in can feel even more effective. They are meant to change and naturally adapt to fit your days. Not the other way around.
Is naptime a struggle? Try gearing up for it sooner with some visual rhythms for your child. Play some calm-down music as you pick up toys before naps. Picking up the toys could be the calm but active movement your kiddos need to get their wiggles out before settling down in bed.
Don’t overcomplicate things. What you’re trying to create is peace and fluidity within your day. Rhythms shouldn’t add stress or time to your life. In fact, they should do just the opposite!
A good rhythm is a simple rhythm.
Though every family is different, parents usually have the most difficulties around meals, playtime and rest time. Moms often look for a series of rigid schedule changes to flip the switch on these difficult transitions. What they really need are simple rhythms!
For all children, but especially those who are younger, you might consider the following questions to help you better implement rhythms: • Getting ready: How do they know when to get dressed? How do they know what to wear?
•Eating: When do they eat? What do they do beforehand? What do they do when they’re done? • Playing: How do they know when it’s time to clean up? How do they know if you’re playing with them or if you expect them to play independently? • Rest time: What are some things they always do before bed? How do they know when to get out of bed?
What works for one person or household may not work for the next, so find what works best for you and yours. Then try it out for a little bit. If the changes don’t work over a period of trial time, then throw them out the window! Try another and another, until you find the sweet spot. They shouldn’t feel abrupt or forced. Remember: Simple, smooth and natural are key.
Many times with young and busy kids, rigid routines don’t stand the test of time. Someone gets sick. Work schedules change. Kids grow out of a nap. Having rhythms set as anchors throughout your day instills a sense of security and comfort in your child. In turn, everyone’s day runs a bit more smoothly. Hopefully, at least!
Kailyn Rhinehart writes from Warrensburg, MO. She lives with her husband and two small children and would not be able to function without rhythms throughout her day.
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