Digital Detox

THERE IS LIFE TO BE LIVED UNPLUGGED

We parents recall going outside and riding our bikes, playing basketball, sitting in a circle and talking to our friends, catching lightning bugs—anything to be outside in the fresh air. We did not have an ipad, iphone or tablet to entertain us. Not that there is anything wrong with our new technology to teach us, show us new ideas and bring the world to our fingertips.

It is a wonderful thing to be able to ask Google the name of a song, a movie or even a nation to help get homework done. And in the grocery store, calming an antsy toddler is simple with a Disney movie playing on your iphone. Suddenly, a tot can happily ride in the grocery cart. Why not flip the script, though? Pack plastic fruits in a bag and have your child find them in the store as you browse. Or ask your little ones to find the color of the green beans, bananas and hamburger. Keep them occupied watching for other children in the store or smiling at the deli manager as he hands you the macaroni salad. Looking around instead of down will inspire your child to ask questions, be more creative and learn to entertain himself!

Reward your little one with the opportunity to watch his favorite movie on the screen on the drive home. Then, when you get home, set the grocery bags on the floor and have him see all you purchased—maybe even help you put things away. This is a way to keep your child involved with his surroundings and away from the screen for a little bit of time.

Remember, too much screen time and regular exposure to poor-quality programming have been linked to obesity, inadequate sleep schedules and insufficient sleep, behavior problems, delays in language and social skills development, violence, attention problems and less time learning.

Keep in mind that unstructured playtime is more valuable for a young child’s developing brain than is electronic media. Children younger than age 2 are more likely to learn when they interact and play with parents, siblings and other children and adults.

By age 2, children may benefit from some types of screen time, such as programming with music, movement and stories. By watching together, you can help your child understand what she is seeing and apply it in real life. However, passive screen time shouldn’t replace reading, playing or problem-solving.

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages media use, except for video chatting, by children younger than 18 months. If you introduce digital media to children ages 18 to 24 months, make sure it is high quality and avoid solo media use. For children ages 2 to 5, limit screen time to one hour a day of high quality programming.

As your child grows, a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work as well. You will need to decide how much media to let your child use each day and what’s appropriate. Consider applying the same rules to your child’s real and virtual environments. In both, play with your child, teach kindness, be involved and know your child’s friends and what your child does with them. Also, keep in mind that the quality of the media your child is exposed to is more important than the type of technology or amount of time spent.

To ensure quality screen time, make sure you preview programs, games and apps before allowing your child to view or play with them. Organizations such as Common Sense Media have programming ratings and reviews to help you determine what’s appropriate for your child’s age. Better yet, watch, play or use them with your child.

10 HEALTHY TECH HABITS FOR YOU TO TRY

1) Instead of a phone alarm, find a cute, old-fashioned alarm clock to place by your child’s bed.

2) Make a “bed” for your child’s phone. Try a shoebox with a snuggly little blanket inside so it can sleep warmly! Place it in the living room away from your child’s bed.

3) Select books to read before bed. Make it a game. What are we thinking about today? Batman? The stars? Football? Your child can select which for you to read to her or to read herself. Drowsy eyes happen when kids think themselves to sleep. 4) Get an aquarium and place it in your child’s room. It’s mesmerizing and teaches responsibility.

6) Write in a journal in cursive! Give your child starts. For example, what is your favorite class at school? What would you like for lunch tomorrow? What is the best thing that happened to you today? Never correct or critique what he or she writes.

5) PLACE A RADIO ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE. TUNE IN A CALMING STATION.

7) Utilize the phone and set its timer for a few hours. During those hours, your child can build Legos, play with play dough, play an instrument or go outside for a walk.

8) Try to keep their phones away from the dinner table— and follow suit yourself. At least a couple days a week!

10) Call Grandma and actually talk for a bit.

Also, seek out interactive options that engage your child, rather than those that just require pushing and swiping or staring at the screen. And, of course, use parental controls to block or filter inappropriate internet content.

Keep your children close to you during screen time so you can supervise their activities and ask them regularly what programs, games and apps they’ve played with during the day. If you find something inappropriate, don’t chastise your children. Watch the programming with them and discuss what you are both watching. Also educate your child about advertising and commercials.

In addition, avoid fast-paced programming, which young children have a hard time understanding, and violent content and apps with a lot of distracting content. Eliminate advertising on apps because young children have trouble telling the difference between ads and factual information.

As the media is showing us, certain sites such as Facebook, TikTok and others can lure older children in. Keep that line of communication open and be ever watchful about what your kids are posting.

Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.

TO ENSURE SCREEN LIMITS IN YOUR HOME, TRY THESE TIPS

• Encourage unplugged, unstructured playtime. This means no screens, no emails and no laptops. Period. • Create tech-free zones or times, such as during mealtime or one night a week. Reward, reward, reward! The night there is no screen time, go get a milkshake or order in whatever they want to eat as a special prize. • Discourage use of media entertainment during homework.

Perhaps find one of those sound machines that play birds, ocean waves or nighttime sounds. White noise is a guaranteed imagination and concentration enhancer. • Set and enforce daily or weekly screen time limits and curfews, such as no exposure to devices or screens one hour before bedtime. • Consider using apps that control the length of time a child can use a device. • Keep screens out of your child’s bedroom and consider requiring your children to charge their devices outside of their bedrooms at night. • Eliminate background TV. • Try turning Alexa off while you’re cooking, playing or having family time. She is a great asset but can become a handicap. Sometimes, we need to try to use our own brains to come up with song names. There is nothing wrong with having a dance party when you ask her to play your favorite song, but remember to set limits

ENJOYING SCREENLESS ENTERTAINMENT

LOW-TECH WAYS TO PASS TIME WITHOUT COMPLAINTS

Waiting in public with the kids can be quite stressful. After all, they might start fighting under the table before the food comes at a restaurant, or they might be spinning endlessly in the chair when the doctor finally walks into the exam room. Whenever there is a lull in the activity, it doesn’t take long for chaos to ensue.

In these types of situations, the easiest way to prevent a disaster is to simply give the kids a screen to keep them still, calm and preoccupied. With some planning, though, you can keep kids entertained and engaged while waiting without pulling out the phone and turning to technology.

Start developing your low-tech entertainment options by preparing a wide variety of busy bags for various occasions. Make sure the bags are ready to grab and go when it’s time to head out the door. There is really no limit to what you can put in them—crayons, coloring sheets, Legos, notebooks and puzzles are only the start of what is possible. While you are at it, consider themed bags. A bag with superhero puzzles and mini notebooks might be interesting to the child one day, but another day he might find a nature explorer bag more captivating.

Once you have your stash of busy bags, brainstorm simple games that don’t require any materials to play. “I Spy” is typically the first game that comes to mind in this category, but there are plenty others, including “Would You Rather” and “I’m Going on a Picnic.” Rhythmic singing and clapping games are always fun as well.

These downtimes are also prime opportunities for kids to develop their imaginations and their storytelling abilities. Prepare several prompts for possible storylines, and have the kids brainstorm and share their stories. They could even work together to come up with a story and write it down later.

Simple and easy-to-carry art supplies and coloring books are another must-have that will also engage their imaginations.

Mad Libs are a favorite word and story game bound to make everyone laugh. Writing your own can be especially fun, so have the kids write their own simple stories and then remove various key words for everyone else to finish in their own way. Not only will hilarity ensue, but it can also teach the kids parts of speech and grammar.

Card games provide endless entertainment opportunities. From Go Fish on up to Rummy, the complexity of the games depends on kids’ age level, and engaging in these games can help boost reasoning and logic skills.

Working to keep the kids caught up on their academic progress is an especially productive use of downtime, too. To this end, bring flash cards for math facts or anything else they are learning. Having short, simple and themed educational workbooks to complete are another fun way of learning.

Of course, the most classic form of low-tech entertainment is simply reading an old-fashioned physical book. Find a specific series of books your child loves and designate these periods of downtime specifically for reading their chosen series. This will not only improve their reading, but it will help them look forward to these times so they can escape into the world of their favorite books.

Perhaps most importantly, these downtimes can also be the perfect opportunity to reflect and connect as a family. Everyone can share about a favorite family memory or something they would like to do together in the future. You could also have the kids share about their favorite activities, interests and hobbies, and you might be surprised by what you learn about them. No need to always be serious, as some light-hearted discussion about the funniest or silliest thing that has happened to them is bound to bring laughs and fun conversation.

Remember, it’s good medicine for kids to find imaginative ways to entertain themselves. Creative thinking is an important skill that will serve them well as they get older.

Allison Gibeson is a Lee’s Summit writer and mom.

30 DAYS

to a Healthier Social Life

Reviving a withering social network or starting fresh in a new community isn’t easy for any busy mom, but the importance of developing social connections can’t be underestimated. Women who feel a balanced sense of connection are healthier and more resilient to stress and anxiety. Take charge of your interpersonal interactions with one small step a day to create a more energizing, fulfilling social life.

1. Contact a mothers group. Ask to attend a meeting as a guest. Put the date on the calendar and schedule a sitter if necessary.

2. Call an old friend. Reconnecting can help you rebuild your confidence as you start meeting new moms.

3. Email a mom you’d like to get to know better. Arrange a meet-up time for both of you and your kids for a playdate at the park or the mall play area.

4. Send a Facebook friend request to a mom you’ve met recently.

5. Evaluate your schedule and answer a volunteer request. Want to get to know lots of members fast?

Volunteer for a leadership position.

6. Meet the family down the street. Bring cookies and head over with your kids to introduce yourselves.

7. Kids are great icebreakers. Strike up a conversation with another mom at the park. Just a casual conversation with another adult can boost your spirits.

8. Send a card to a friend to let her know you’re thinking about her or call just to chat.

9. Join an online moms group. Reaching out to other moms online who can relate to your situation can help you feel less isolated.

10. Text a friend with a new baby. Remember how hard those first few weeks are? Coordinate a time to stop by with a meal.

11. Are your children in school? Invite other classroom moms to a “seasoned moms” lunch. 12. Sign up for a yoga, Zumba or Jazzercise class. The exercise will give you energy and boost your mood. The group fitness experience will help you feel a sense of connection to others with similar goals.

13. Time for girls night out! You may feel a little tired the next day, but recalling all the laughs is sure to put a spring in your step.

14. Does someone in your life zap your energy? (And, no, your kids don’t count!) Consciously begin to move away from draining, one-sided friendships.

15. Beware of overcommitting yourself. Say no to whatever isn’t a priority or doesn’t interest you. You’ll do yourself and your family a favor.

16. Make a list of your favorite forgotten pastimes.

17. Carve out 15 or 20 minutes in your day to pursue one of those hobbies. Check out the latest trends with your hobby on Pinterest or your favorite social network.

18. Start a walking group with a friend or two. Walking and talking for an hour is great exercise and like free therapy!

19. Moms know the 4:00 to 6:00 “witching hour” is rough when everyone is tired, hungry and cranky. Invite other moms for a two-hour afternoon playdate and dinner. Order pizza and ask everyone to bring a side dish such as a salad, dessert and juice boxes for the kids. Dinner done, kids sleep well, and you get a quiet evening ahead! 20. Plan a morning at the zoo or the children’s museum with your kids and invite other moms to join you. 21. Check out the library for upcoming talks, book clubs and other activities. Attend a few discussions to meet other people with shared interests.

22. Organize a game night or book club with a few women you’d like to get to know better. 23. Feel roadblocked by cliquey moms? Reach out to a receptive member of the group. If she is on the PTA/PTO, ask how you can get involved. Don’t be pushy and do watch your body language. Averting eye contact, crossing your arms and hiding in a corner with your cell phone can signal a lack of interest in connecting. And, remember, many moms aren’t cliquey. 24. Schedule a manicure/pedicure morning out with a friend. 25. Find a sitter and schedule a date night with your spouse. Get dressed up and head somewhere nice. Feeling sociable? Invite another couple to join you. 26. Invite your neighbors for a backyard barbecue. Have outdoor games like badminton, horseshoes, volleyball, chalk, bubbles and hula hoops available for the kids to play together.

27. Support a friend who sells makeup, jewelry, cookware or candles by accepting an invitation to one of the parties. Go with a budget and enjoy some time hanging out with other women.

28. Need a break? Acknowledge when life is getting too busy and take a few hours to do something on your own—head to a pottery place and paint while you sip coffee, go clothes shopping or take in a movie.

29. Spending time with other families is fun, but set aside an afternoon for just you and your kids. Head to the park for a picnic lunch, watch a movie together, play a board game, try ice-skating or go bowling.

30. Regroup with your family around the dinner table.

Communication builds stronger families. Talk about your day’s highs and lows, frustrations and successes.

Freelance writer Christa M. Hines resides in Olathe with her husband, two teenaged sons and one very spoiled rescue puppy.

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Dr. John P. Roth, DDS Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry Specialist in Orthodontics Dr. Hannah Loseke Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

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Say What?

Tips to Improve Your Child’s Listening Skills

do you find yourself frustrated from repeating the same phrases over and over again when talking to your children? Does it seem like everything you say goes in one ear and out the other? Do your kids really not hear you, or are they just tuning you out?

First of all, it’s important to understand the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a passive act that requires no concentration. Listening is an active process that requires focus and multiple senses. Listening is voluntary, so children must decide whether they are going to just hear you or really listen to what you’re saying and use their mind and body to engage in a conversation. Good listeners turn into good communicators later on in life. If your child has trouble listening to you, the good news is there are many ways to improve those listening skills.

Model Good Listening Skills

One way to help your child build better listening skills is to be a positive influence and model good listening skills to your child. Kids learn best from watching their parents, so set a good example for them. Use good listening skills when you’re talking to your children, as well as other adults. When your child speaks to you, give him eye contact and use body language to show him you’re actively listening to what he’s saying. Nodding in agreement and asking followup questions are a few ways to show you’re invested and engaged in the conversation. Also, don’t interrupt while she is speaking. Put Down the Gadgets

With parents and children more attached to their devices than ever before, it’s easy for us to tune out what we are saying to each other. According to Highlights magazine’s 2014 State of the Kid survey results, 62 percent of kids say their parents are distracted when kids are trying to talk to them. When asked what distracts their parents, kids’ top responses were cell phones (28 percent), siblings (25 percent), work (16 percent) and TV (13 percent). Before having a conversation with your child, turn off the TV and put down your cell phone or laptop. Give her eye contact and show her she has your undivided attention. Ask her to do the same, so you can both focus on the conversation.

Get Their Attention

It’s important to get your child’s full attention before giving instructions. Sometimes you don’t fully have kids’ attention before speaking. Don’t just call up the stairs, “Go put your shoes on!” Instead, approach your child with eye contact, get down on his level and say his name. Once he’s looking at you, you can proceed with your instructions.

Ask Them to Repeat Instructions

When you ask your child to do something, follow up by asking her to repeat your request. Once you have given an instruction, ask her to repeat it back to you, so you can make sure she fully heard and understood your request—and ask whether she has any questions. I’ve oftentimes found we have asked my daughter to do something, gotten upset when she didn’t do it but then later realized she didn’t fully understand what we were requesting—and that’s why she did something entirely different.

Cook Together

Cooking and baking is based on reading or listening to instructions. Bake kids’ favorite cookies or have your kids help you out with cooking dinner in the evenings. Read the recipe and instructions aloud and let them listen and follow the directions to complete the culinary creation.

Read Together

Reading books can help with your children’s listening comprehension. Read aloud to your children every day. This doesn’t have to be only at bedtime! While reading, make sure to stop and ask questions about what’s going on in the story or what they think will happen next. You can also listen to audio books together during long car rides or just on the way to school. Be sure to react to the story and have conversations about what is happening in the book. Take a Walk

Spending time out in nature is an easy and fun way to help develop listening skills. As you’re walking, ask your children what sounds they hear. This will help them turn on their listening ears and focus on the different sounds like birds chirping, the neighbor’s lawnmower, leaves rustling or a bee buzzing by.

Tell a Story Together

Kids can practice listening by telling a story together. Start the story off with a phrase like “Once upon a time there was a…” Then, let each child continue the story. They will be practicing listening, taking turns to speak and using their imaginations at the same time.

Play Fun Games

There are several fun games you can play with your kids that will help them practice their listening skills. An oldfashioned game of Telephone requires kids to focus on what is being said to them. Games like Red Light, Green Light and Simon Says also help foster good listening habits.

Start Conversations

Make a habit of starting real conversations with your kids. Our family loves doing this at mealtime. We go around the table and talk about what we did all day, the best part of our day and the worst part of our day. My daughter loves it so much that she is the one who initiates the conversation now. You can follow up with questions after each person at the table has shared.

Regan Lyons is a girl mom and freelance writer. She lives with her husband and daughters in St. Joseph, MO.