g n i m ta
the tattletale
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remember being the tattletale among my younger siblings. It was always the little things, too. I don’t know whether it was for attention or simply because I wanted everyone to do the right thing, but I certainly caused some strife as I went through that phase. Younger sister left the house when she wasn’t supposed to? I tattled. Sister or brother took my toy? I tattled. Heck, I even tattled on myself. My dad often tells the story and laughs at the time he asked me, “Emily, why is your sister crying?” I replied, with absolutely no hesitation, “She took my toy so I had to hit her with it.” My tattletale phase knew no bounds. So when does tattling actually become a problem, and how exactly do you tame a tattletale? There are necessary and unnecessary times to tattle, and it’s important for kids to be able to spot the difference. You want your child always to report the truth, but you also want to set healthy boundaries. According to the Child Mind Institute, tattling is children’s natural response to learning about rules, but they can learn that it is not necessary in every rule-breaking scenario. For example, tattling is reporting a peer’s wrongdoing when the situation is safe and the child doesn’t need intervention. Telling is
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letting an adult know that the situation is not safe or your child needs adult intervention when managing the situation. Tattling just to share another’s mistake might reveal just a mean-spirited motive. On the other hand, a child’s urge to alert someone could very well be necessary. Each unique scenario should be examined separately to leave to an adult to decide. Several experts have shared their advice on the subject. First-grade teacher Carol Anderson instructs her students that it is okay to tell if someone is hurt or in danger. “The first-graders need to be reminded of this often,” she says. “When they come to tattle, I will ask them if this person is being hurt or is in danger. If yes, they can tell—if not, then I stop them.” Elementary teacher Amanda Grier echoes this sentiment, distinguishing between “tattling and reporting.” A report is helpful when someone is hurt or in danger. “A tattle is silly and could usually be solved by the kiddos themselves,” she says. Taylor Morgan teaches her students about emotions because she doesn’t want them to hurt emotionally, she says, and they spend time working with their feelings and emotions. “Are you or someone else hurt?” she asks.
