Selfishness vs. self-love Psychology professor and students share how culture influences an individual's view self-love and selfishness BY MADI BERRY
BYUH students and a psychology professor say self-love helps people be better able to help and serve others. Graphic by Brad Carbine
With Valentine’s Day happening in February, BYU–Hawaii students and a professor of psychology agreed loving significant others was important, but they also stressed the need for self-love. They said taking care of oneself is key to learning how to care for others. Dr. Eric Orr, assistant professor the Faculty of Sciences, defined self-love as “valuing yourself, being willing to take care of yourself, being willing to say no to others and having healthy boundaries.” He added people cannot properly take care of others without first knowing how to take care of themselves. It is a necessity for individuals to identify what brings them personal joy, said Orr. Referring to 2 Nephi 2:25, he said, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might
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have joy.” He added, “It is essentially a commandment [to have joy.]” Orr continued by comparing self-love to a gas tank. He posed the question, “Have you ever failed to take time to refill the gas tank?” He added, “Because if you don't, you will literally run out of gas and have a much bigger problem. This is what happens when we do not take care of ourselves.” Fiona He, a junior from China majoring in TESOL, discussed her personal and cultural view of self-love. She said self-love is “when you love yourself and trust in your own abilities.” She said mental health and self-care in her country are not often discussed. However, it has become more of a recent popular topic among females.
Jenna Hardisty, a senior from Arizona majoring in communications, shared the way in which self-love is viewed in her culture. “[The United States] a very capitalist society. So we buy things to make ourselves feel better.” Self-love or selfishness? Orr shared his definition of selfishness as “putting yourself as a priority at the expense of others, and saying yes to yourself all of the time even in times where you should not.” He commented on what role culture plays in identifying the difference between self-love and selfishness. “I think our cultures and our values help us identify what is selfish and what is not. The definition of selfishness and self-love comes
