Keep Social Media Social: Summer 2021

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ksms

keep social media social

keep social media social

MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH MONTH

Let's talk data!

What KPIs should you be watching, really?

plus, A conversation about race, social media, and going viral on Facebook

5 Signs It's Time to Delegate Your Social Media Management

1. You know you want to maintain a social presence, but you’re not sure what to do or say.

Most business owners and solopreneurs understand the importance of having active social channels, but having an overall strategy—and knowing what kind of content to publish—is a whole other game entirely.

2. You don’t have time to make social media a priority in your business.

As a business owner, marketing leader, or solopreneur, your time and talents are better spent running your business—not managing social media accounts!

3. Your content publishing schedule is inconsistent.

Know that feeling when you log onto your brand’s social media account and notice it’s been weeks since your last post? That’s often a sign that you no longer have the time or bandwidth to engage with your digital community and need to delegate!

4. You struggle to stay on top of incoming messages and comments.

Social media is an important side of customer service and communications that is often overlooked. If you’re getting bogged down by comments and messages to your social channels, it might be time to delegate that task!

5. You envy your competitors’ feeds, and want to take your own channels to the next level.

Whether you’re looking for strong photography, killer graphics, or playful video content, sometimes offloading to a dedicated specialist is the perfect way to level up.

4 Letter from the Publisher

Pinterest: A Happy Place

Creating a digital escape on Pinterest

Mental Health and the Workplace

Challenges facing social media managers + marketers

Words from the Keep Social Media Social Team

A few Keep Social Media Social team members discuss how their relationship with social media has evolved

Digital Planets

A collection of some of our favorite digital spaces for digital marketing resources, mental health positivity, and just plain fun

The GTFO! Playlist

An assortment of songs to inspire you to put down your phone

From the Keep Social Media Social Community Keep Social Media Social community member Nick Acosta shares how he keeps social media social in his own digital world

What KPIs Should You Be Watching, Really?

A guide to watching the right key performance indicators for your specific goals

Viral.

David Gamble Jr., a Reno-based public defender and friend of Amanda McLernon, talks race, his experiences as a black man in America, and going viral on Facebook

GTFO!

Get to Freedom Online...by Getting Offline!

3..2...1...blastoff!

The GTFO! keynote launches in May, and we want YOU to join in the fun!

Partner Spotlight

Annie Flanzraich is an award-winning journalist, editor and manager who hates writing about herself in the third person. She offers editing, ghost writing, and other long-form content services. Get a solution to your content problems and email annie@flanzwrites.com.

©McLernon, LLC 2021. The contents of this magazine may not be reproduced in whole or part without consent of the copyright owner. For permission to reproduce any article in this publication, contact connect@keepsocialmediasocial.com.

Amanda McLernon Publisher

Jessie Hoyng

Nick Acosta Contributing Writer Hunter Hoopes Contributing Writer

Madison Martin Contributing Writer

Adriana Anderson Contributing Writer

Karsen Law Contributing Designer Ellie Martin Contributing Designer

David Cohn Cover Photographer

Dear Friend,

Let me start this note by sharing my deep appreciation for how all of you responded to this publication in December. The texts, calls and social media posts meant the world to our team. Thank you so much for supporting us, and for keeping social media social.

Last issue, we started talking about mental health and social media. In this issue, you’ll see that we’ve doubled down and made it our main focus, as May is Mental Health Awareness month. Our intention for the content in this issue is to not only raise awareness of how social media and technology impact mental health, but also introduce some actionable steps to take if your relationship with technology or social media is not currently in a healthy place.

Why? Because we’ve lived this, and we are still living this. Every single person on our team has had to learn how to intentionally step away from the computer, Zoom meeting or phone and set firmer boundaries to prevent and mitigate things like burnout and anxiety. We know we are not alone in this!

Recent events around the country add even more weight to the message of this issue. Over the past few weeks, multiple traumatic events have shaken the physical and digital worlds. In Atlanta, we saw the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) community targeted, and eight people were killed. In one of our home states of Colorado, we experienced a mass shooting in Boulder at a grocery store that took the lives of ten people. And just a few days ago, there was some hope as Derek Chauvin was criminally charged and held accountable for killing George Floyd.

In the wake of these events, individuals and groups continue to turn to social media to process their trauma and attempt to create awareness and long-lasting change.. While many of these efforts have had positive impacts, there is still more work to do, and in this issue, you’ll see we advocate for getting offline and doing more work IRL (in real life).

For many of us, this work may start with inward reflection and reconnection with our consciousness. Connecting with our consciousness has a big impact on our mental well-being and that reflection allows us to examine where we need to put intentional energy.

As the cover states, no amount of ‘likes’ on social media will ever matter if we don’t like ourselves. The love and acceptance we may be looking for online is nothing compared to the love we can feel when connecting with others offline.

This summer, let’s choose to intentionally GTFO!™️ and continue to reconnect with others in our community.

See many of you IRL soon,

Ifyou are receiving this magazine unexpectedly, fear not! I have intentionally chosen people to be sent this issue. You are one of my favorite brands or businesses, and I have likely stopped in or shopped onlinewithyour business in the lastyear. Please enjoy this gift!

Amanda McLernon Founder & CEO of McLernon & Co. and Keep Social Media Social

“Electronics capture our consciousness”

Sea” by Ram Dass and

Pinterest: A Happy Place

Being informed is important. Constantly surrounding yourself with media—whether it be TV news, social media, radio, or digital news alerts is not healthy.

When Denver went into “lockdown” in March of 2020, Instagram and Facebook—my most-used social platforms at the time became places where I’d fall into the trap of doomscrolling. (Doomscrolling is defined by Merriam-Webster as the tendency to continue to surf or scroll through bad news, even though that news is saddening, disheartening, or depressing.)

Although these platforms were valuable to keep me informed and stay in touch with friends and family throughout the world, I found myself spending far more time than was healthy consuming depressing content.

I realized I needed to curate a digital happy place for myself not to ignore the content or conversations I was seeing on Facebook and Instagram but so I could balance my time online between exploring the serious issues on those platforms, and dreaming about a brighter and more beautiful future.

So I turned to Pinterest.

Pinterest is home to a wealth of content...and here are some ways you can turn Pinterest into your happy place too!

Use Pinterest to dream

Whether you’re planning a trip, virtually exploring a new city, planning decadent meals, or designing your dream house (like me!), Pinterest is a great place to define and organize your dreams and the things that bring you joy.

You can follow brands and creators with your style, search for dream destinations, and curate your feed to represent your dream world.

Even if these dreams aren’t necessarily attainable in your immediate future, Pinterest can be an incredible tool to manifest your future goals by

If you’re planning to redecorate your living room, search “mid-century modern living room” or “living room paint ideas.”

Save the pins you like, and the Pinterest algorithm will show you more similar content on your home feed. And on a practical level, the more specific you are about what you want, the more likely you are to make it happen.

It’s easy to think of this social media/ search engine hybrid as a hub for recipes and wedding ideas, but I learned this year that Pinterest can be so much more.

Get specific!

Pinterest, though often considered a social media platform, functions much more like a search engine. So don’t be afraid to get really specific in your search to find the most relevant content!

For example, if you’re planning a camping trip in your local area, don’t necessarily just search “camping Colorado.” Instead, search “best campsites an hour from Denver” or “easy camping recipes.”

Search for what you love!

Even if you’re not planning for anything in particular, you can use Pinterest to digitally surround yourself with things that make you happy! Pinterest can be a great place to find anything from inspirational quotes to memes, and beautiful art illustration to puppy pictures.

Search for your favorite aesthetics (cottagecore, witchy woods aesthetic), dream destinations (Mykonos, Rio de Janeiro), incredible natural landmarks (Koh Yao Islands, Swiss Alps), and surround yourself digitally with your favorite things.

DM us on Instagram @keepsocialmediasocial to tell us how you create your happy place on Pinterest!

Creating a digital escape on Pinterest | by Jessie Hoyng

mental health and the workplace

Challenges facing social media managers + marketers

marketers are expected to be online A LOT these days - we’re not just managing accounts, but also following trends, checking notifications, monitoring dozens of campaigns, and keeping up with the nonstop news cycle that could impact our brand(s) and marketing efforts.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Sound like something your employees or your team might be experiencing? Keep reading.

The amount of time that social media managers and marketers spend online is uniquely intense, because we are on the front lines for breaking news, political events, interpersonal challenges, race relations, and more. We see news, misinformation, arguments, hate, and so much more happening online in real time.

For the last year, there have been dozens of digital wars going on around topics like COVID-19, Black Lives Matter, equity and inclusivity, the 2020 presidential election and subsequent insurrection in the U.S. Capitol building, anti-Asian hate, mass shootings and gun control, and so much more. For many of us, the emotional impact of this intense online landscape has also

been compounded by the fact that, over the past year, we’ve been more physically isolated than ever before.

As Brené Brown writes in “Daring Greatly,” a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and the National Institute on Mental Health, “researchers found that physical pain and an intense experience of social rejection hurt in the same way.” This causes very real physical, emotional, and mental harm to spread throughout the digital world.

These digital wars go beyond organic interpersonal conversation and debate to the deliberate spread of propaganda and misinformation.

We don’t have room in this piece to discuss this phenomenon to the extent that it would require, so we recommend checking out this source to learn more about it!

Because we, as marketers and social media managers, have a front-row seat to these digital phenomena almost every day, it’s no wonder many of us wrestle with feelings of being tired, scared, frustrated or just plain over it.

Yet we keep returning to social media, not only because we need to be online for work, but also because—increasingly and especially over the past year—we’re online for everything else. We meet our friends there. We get our news there. We shop there. We date there. The result? An ever-replenishing source of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. And just as we do with any substance, as we grow accustomed to a certain level of these hits, our tolerance becomes higher, and we end up spending more and more time online to achieve the same results.

And the answer isn’t always as simple as, say, deleting Facebook because. it’s literally part of, if not all of, our jobs. But this wasn’t what we signed up for. And we shouldn’t have to sacrifice our mental health for the sake of our jobs.

So, what’s a social media manager to do?

First, you can address the challenge with leadership and your team.

As an individual, you have a responsibility to advocate for yourself and your team and communicate with your team about the challenges you experience online.

Discuss the challenges of being online and managing your mental health in

your 1:1s with management. Work as a team to find ways to get each other, and other members of your team, offline. Each full-time team member should, at minimum, take a one-hour break each day during which they are not expected to be online. This should be structured, and it’s up to both the individual and management to take responsibility for ensuring these breaks are given and taken.

Teams should work together to find creative ways to complete certain tasks and jobs offline. What Zoom calls can be turned into phone calls? What meetings can be canceled? What work can be done by hand and then transferred to a digital platform? There are so many things that can be done offline as a marketer. Take advantage of them!

Set healthy, sustainable boundaries with social media during both work and personal time.

This may mean anything from turning off notifications to setting up content creation processes to minimize time spent on platforms.

Social media was designed to be addictive, and social media managers and marketers are uniquely at risk for social media overuse and addiction.

Here are some red flags to watch out for, in both yourself and your team:

• Spending more and more time on your personal social media accounts during designated work time, compulsively checking for new notifications

• Mindlessly scrolling on your personal or work-related social media accounts

• Feeling irritable, frustrated, or annoyed frequently at work

• Slipping performance and a lack of engagement in work

Some healthy boundaries you can set to manage your relationship with social media may include:

• Signing out of personal accounts when at work

• Signing out of work accounts when on personal time

• Turning off app notifications

• Changing the physical location of social media apps on your home screen so you don’t mindlessly open them

• Intentionally curating your personal digital world

• Grouping on-platform tasks, so you can maintain significant pieces of time offline

• Setting your phone to grayscale (Google it!)

“Social Media Managers who are seeing and experiencing consistent, intense things online need time offline to process, reflect and rest. The energy and emotion online is real, and sometimes we need a break from the front lines,” says Amanda McLernon, Founder & CEO of McLernon and Co., and founder of the Keep Social Media Social™ mission and methodology.

Leaders: Create a culture of mental health positivity in your workplace

The healthier your employees are (both physically and mentally), the more productive they will be, so it’s ultimately in your best interest to encourage a culture of mental health positivity. It’s also your responsibility to look out for your team and help them thrive.

Have real conversations with your team about mental health, asking questions like, “How are you, really? How is your relationship with social media?” Don’t force your team to share, but make space for them to share. Lead by example by being honest and vulnerable when you are having a not-so-great mental health day, and communicate to your team how they can support you.

Share mental health resources with your team. Whether you regularly send out relevant articles, provide a monthly stipend for therapy, or offer a half-day off for mental health each month, providing resources to your team prioritizes their health, contributes to their productivity, and communicates that you genuinely care for their wellbeing.

Recognize the validity of mental health days, and support team members when they need time off for mental

health as much as you would support time off for a physical illness.

Explore and creatively use your resources. Can you delegate occasional engagement to a coordinator or intern? Rotate more intense online tasks among team members? Batch similar tasks so employees can take more time offline on a daily basis?

Understand how people of different races, religions, etc. might be impacted in different ways by the content we are all seeing online. If you have team members that are part of a community that is impacted by a certain event or movement, they may need more space and grace to process.

These principles are written in the context of the workplace, but can also widely apply to schools, individual households, and other communities where individuals spend significant amounts of time online!

Bottom line: In this age of online intensity, those of us who live, work, and breathe social media have a responsibility to advocate for ourselves and our teams. We are real live humans, not machines. By working with leadership to create a culture of mental health, we empower ourselves and our colleagues to build a more positive and productive relationship with the digital world.

words from the

It’s been a tough year. Current events are not very positive. And it does not help that disinformation spreads like wildfire on social media. This can be draining and destabilize our mental health. With so much going on, it’s imperative to take care of our mental health. We need to make time to be with our emotions, acknowledge and process them. When we ignore them, they turn into anxiety, anger, and depression. Breaks from the news and social media are necessary to reconnect with yourself. You will feel refreshed and re-energized. It’s almost like a retreat for your mental health.

-Adriana Anderson, Social Media Specialist

For myself, social media has always been an avenue where I can escape reality for a few hours at a time. Whether it is getting lost in an endless loop of hilarious videos or catching up on what’s going on in the world, social media has been my main resource. Throughout the years, I have seen a change in my mental health by overusing these different applications. Last year, I found myself often comparing myself to others through what I saw online, specifically Instagram. I would often feel down about myself or my accomplishments because I saw all of these people online having “more fun” or “being more successful” than I was. It wasn’t healthy. After doing some deep self reflection, I shifted my focus towards being grateful for what I do have in my life. I’ve decided that my online presence is not meant to boast or impress others, but show what makes me happy.

-Hunter Hoopes, Social Media Content Manager

I’m a big fan of Instagram and was really good at separating what was real and what was a ‘social media filter’ until I had my first daughter. Suddenly, scrolling through my feed left me feeling like a failure as a mom because I wasn’t posting content with my hair and makeup done with a cute outfit on. Was there something wrong with me? Of course not. Some individuals can really put on the ‘filter’ while the rest of us are using social media as it was intended - to be social. Now, when I share content I try to make it as real and relatable as I can so that no one viewing it will feel the bad feelings I felt.

Madison Martin, Paid Ads Manager

Reno, NV

we lovedigital spaces

1. 5. 2. 3. 4.

1. @artistkatiesmall on Instagram paints on the daily and creates fun content around her art. She frequently hides her finished pieces, allowing her followers or strangers IRL to find and keep her art for free.

2. Alex Dacy, a.k.a. @wheelchair_rapunzel on TikTok, is a model and content creator who shares her experience as a disabled person through fun and creative videos.

3. Follow @thegreatgramsofgary on Instagram to tag along with Gary the cat on his hiking and skiing adventures throughout the Rocky Mountains of British Columbia.

4. The Denver Marketing Mavens group on Facebook is a collaborative and supportive group of marketing professionals in the Denver metro area.

5. Denver-based artist Latasha Dunston, a.k.a. @jitterbug_art on Instagram, uses the platform to share her nature and activism-inspired creations.

6. Christopher uses their Instagram account @plantkween to build community around their love of botany.

7. Activist Katie Boué and her dog Spaghetti share their adventures, advocacy work, and garden on Instagram @katieboue

8. Ash Skylan, on TikTok as @ashleysadventure_, uses the platform to share her experiences in the outdoors as a plus-size explorer with hilarious videos.

9. From their signature Lemoncello Chocolate Almonds to dark chocolate coffee caramels, @sconzachocolates on Instagram is dedicated to spreading happiness through their communities.

10. The hashtag #seemyparis allows you to travel to Paris without leaving your couch. Enjoy a virtual tour through the city as you follow and scroll through the tag and meet the artists who post there.

The gtfo! Playlist

-@mattandkim

There’s a time and a space for intentionally disconnecting (see page 16 for more info), but music, particularly on digital platforms like Spotify, is a way we bridge the physical world with the digital world.

While we can use Spotify to connect with others digitally through shared playlists and recommended artists, the music we listen to can also encourage us to go out into the world and run, dance, and sing.

We’ve curated our own playlist of songs that inspire us to experience the physical world. Scan the QR code to give it a listen!

P.S. This article is not sponsored by Spotify, BUT multiple people on the KSMS™️ and McLernon & Co. teams pay for Spotify Premium out of their personal budgets. Spotify Premium allows for a direct listening experience with no interruptions, and the ability to download music for listening without WiFi. So, whether you’re hiking in the wilderness, creating art offline, or flying, and don’t want to connect with the digital world, you can still listen to GTFO!™️ or your own favorite playlists. And if you know anyone at Spotify, please connect us! We’d love to collab.

"in the daylight I don't pick up my phone, 'cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home."

from the #keepsocialmediasocial community

by Nick Acosta

Sitting in my condo in downtown Washington, DC, I closed the third tab on my browser after another exhausting afternoon of doom scrolling and anxious panic. I exhaled, sat back in my chair, and took a sip of water. Then, a gentle reminder came into view. I read the sticker proudly planted on the side of my water bottle aloud to the living room, “Keep Social Media Social.”

The powerful call to action from my friend, Amanda McLernon of McLernon & Co., echoed in the room. I read it again, pausing after each word. “Keep. Social. Media. Social.” After a day of content consumption that seemed to be oriented around widespread stress, COVID fear, and shaking my head at the latest political post from that guy who lent me a pencil in math class one time during sophomore year of high school, I was faced with an important question, “What am I doing online?”

For me, McLernon’s challenge to “Keep Social Media Social” is a call for us to interrogate the ways in which we engage with digital spaces, and remember that these can, and should, be holistic social environments. It’s a call to bring the fullness of our social selves to the complex digital environment that is social media. Social media is just that, a social experience. Unprecedented forms of sharing, community building, connecting, and inspiring are sitting right at our fingertips. If their purpose is to help us take our social selves into the digital world, to what extent are our social attitudes and values actually reflected in the way that we use social media? Is the fullness of my social self actually being reflected online?

Now, I’m not suggesting that social media shouldn’t be a place where we share our politics, values, concerns, or our fears. Quite the opposite, in fact. In many ways, our values and political opinions are core parts of who and how we exist in the world, but they aren’t the entirety of our social existence. I’m concerned that if you were to go through my Facebook newsfeed, scroll my Twitter, or get lost in my Instagram, it would seem that way. It would seem like the entirety of my social existence was a battleground of opinions and toxic attitudes crashing into each other.

Yes. Some days, it feels like that. But, I also really liked “The Queen’s Gambit.” My neighborhood mutual aid program does need volunteers this weekend. I’m not sure if I look good in this shirt. I think that DC public school teachers are underpaid. I made some killer macarons yesterday. I cried when I found out my brother was sick.

My social existence is more complex than a set of toxic anxieties. It is rich and diverse. It is colorful and random. It is all at once my hobbies, values, passions, politics… and my latest Netflix binge.

People seem to think that social media is some fabricated, best version of ourselves, where we curate our personas by only posting ourselves under the most perfect lighting. Looking at my water bottle, and the prompt from McLernon to “Keep Social

Nick Acosta is a communications and content marketing professional based in Washington, DC. When he’s not working, Nick can be found at the rock climbing gym, baking with too much chocolate, or working on his next novel.

Connect with Nick on Instagram @nickacosta11 and @henleyjalexandre

Media Social” I thought to myself, “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

If we bring the fullness of our social existence to the table, unashamed, authentic, and proud, we can do more with social media than we ever imagined. We can build communities, share values, heal divisions, support one another, and so much more.

This year, I want to be more intentional about my digital presence. I want to have an answer to the question, “What am I doing online?” I want to Keep Social Media Social. Do you?

#KeepSocialMediaSocial

Nick Acosta

what kpis should you be watching,

really?

Simply put, Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs, are how you track the effectiveness of your marketing efforts and campaigns. They can help you get a sense of what strategies and tactics are most effective, and ultimately where you get your best ROI (return on investment).

Not all social media KPIs are of equal importance, however, and your specific goals dictate the KPIs that are most important for you to track.

If you are concentrating on getting sales before establishing brand awareness, you will have some tough luck. On the other hand, measuring conversions on a brand awareness based campaign will lead you astray.

Top of Funnel (TOF)

example goal: grow following

At the top of your conversion funnel, you’re focusing on brand awareness and reaching people who are seeing your brand and content for the very first time.

Concentrate on getting your content in front of as many people who fit your ideal target audience as possible. For a TOF goal like follower growth, keep an eye on the following metrics:

by Hunter Hoopes and Jessie Hoyng

• follower count (shocker, right?)

• reach

• impressions

In this stage, just focus on getting your content in front of as many relevant eyes as possible!

Middle of Funnel (MOF) example goal: increase engagements

As your followers begin to move into the MOF zone, you’ll begin developing a closer relationship with your audience. This will lead to individuals connecting with your brand, which you’ll see in the form of reactions, comments, shares, saves, sends, and clicks.

Key metrics to watch when increasing engagements include:

• reach

• engagements

• engagement rate

When we talk about social engagement, it’s easy to only think about inbound engagement (e.g., comments, shares, messages, etc.). But to intentionally increase your engagement rate, develop an outbound engagement strategy in which you genuinely

connect with your audience to establish trust for your brand. This means commenting on others’ content, sending strategic DMs, etc. from your brand account. As initial trust is established and your connection is deepened, your followers will move from being just aware of your brand to taking an active interest in your brand.

Bottom of Funnel (BOF) example goal: drive conversions

Finally, after providing your followers with interesting content, initiating conversations, and building trust through engagement, your audience will move towards the bottom of the funnel - a.k.a., conversion time. Watch the following KPIs at the bottom of the conversion funnel:

• clicks

• purchases

• web traffic from social

Keeping a close watch on the right KPIs will help you measure your success, adjust your strategy, and plan for future content and campaigns.

Let's talk vanity metrics.

While KPIs are important metrics to track your content performance and drive strategy, it’s important to remember how they fit into your overall marketing efforts and digital presence.

It’s easy to get caught up in what we call “vanity metrics,” like follower count. But

#keepingsocialmediasocial is about connecting online via genuine conversations and quality engagements.

A new follower is great, as it gives you the opportunity to continue to nurture their conversion journey...so while, theoretically, the more followers you have, the more impressions and engagements you can get, this only works if your followers are real people (not bots) who are genuinely interested in connecting with you and your brand.

KPI

Follower count

Follower

Impressionsincrease/decrease

Engagements

Top-performing post(s)

Web traffic

Web sessions from social

glossary

Where to Find it

On platform

Sprout/Hootsuite/reporting software

Sprout/Hootsuite/reporting software

Sprout/Hootsuite/reporting software

On platform (e.g., Instagram Insights)

Google Analytics

The number of individual users (followers or non-followers) who saw your page or post for the tracked time period. Reach differs from impressions because while one person may have viewed your post 3 times, they could only ever have been “reached” once. (This is why your impressions should always be higher than your reach.) These fans may or may not have engaged (like, comment or share) with your media but were served your content.

Impressions: The number of times that users (followers or non-followers) who saw your page or post for the tracked time period. These fans may or may not have engaged (like, comment or share) with your media but it is the number of times your content is displayed, no matter if it was clicked or not.

Link clicks: The number of times users have clicked on a link in your content and/or social profiles.

CTR (click through rate): The number of times users have clicked through on the link in each individual post to your website. This is a great measurement of unique landing pages as well.

Engagement: An interaction an individual makes with a post. This can be a like or reaction, comment, share, save, click, and/or view.

Engagement rate: This number, calculated as total engagements ÷ reach, indicates how many people who see your content choose to interact and engage with it.

A conversation about race in America, aligned activism, and going viral on Facebook by Amanda

McLernon & David Gamble Jr.

David Gamble Jr. June 13th 2020

I grew up in Reno, Nevada. In third grade a boy confidently tells me and my brother that his mom said black people cannot swim because our muscles are different than those of white people.

In middle school, standing among a group of white classmates talking video games, I am the only black child. One classmate expresses surprise that my family has enough money to afford a PlayStation.

In high school, I am the only black kid among a group of friends. When sharing drinks in my presence they frequently tell each other not to “niggerlip” the bottles. Even though I object, they continue to use the phrase.

In high school, my brother is at a teen house party that gets broken up by police, a common occurrence. The kids at the party scatter, also a common occurrence. My brother, the only black child in attendance, is the only one on whom a police officer draws a firearm to get him to stop running away. He is 14.

In high school, a group of my white friends frequently sneak on to the outdoor basketball courts at an athletic club to play. They can usually play for hours, including with club members. On the two occasions I attend, club members complain and we are ejected from the club within minutes.

In high school, I am excited about black history month and am talking to a friend about black inventors. My friend snorts and says, “Black people have never invented anything.”

In high school, as graduation approaches, many of my white friends tell me that I am lucky. They tell me that due to my skin color, I will get into any college I want.

I remain in Reno for college. During college an employer keeps food for employees in the break room refrigerator. One morning I decided to have microwaveable chicken wings for breakfast. The employer tells me I might not want to eat that for breakfast with my skin color. The employer immediately apologizes.

In college I am standing in a group of white friends on campus. A white acquaintance of one of my friends approaches to chat. The acquaintance tells a story about something that frustrated him and then reels off a series of expletives ending with the word, “nigger.” None of my friends corrects him.

In college I visit an antique shop in Auburn, California with my girlfriend, who is white, and her parents. The shopkeeper follows me around the store whistling loudly as I browse, until we leave.

I move to San Diego, California for law school. In law school, during a discussion in my criminal law class, a white classmate suggests that police officers should take a suspect’s race into account when determining whether there is reasonable suspicion to believe that an individual is committing a crime.

The weekend of my law school graduation my family comes to San Diego. I go to the mall with my brother and sister and visit the Burberry store. Two different employees follow us around the store – never speaking to us – until we leave.

After law school, I return to Reno. A co-worker jokingly calls me “King David” upon seeing me each day. I joke that I’m not treated like a king. The co-worker then begins to call me “Slave David” each time we encounter one another. When I ask the co-worker to stop because it is hurtful, I am told by my co-worker that this is a problem that I have in my head.

I attend a pub crawl with friends. We end up at a party in a hotel suite in downtown Reno. I am greeted by a white man at the door who loudly expresses surprise that I am an “educated negro” upon hearing me speak.

17k Comments 152k Shares 123K

Hi, Amanda here. David Gamble Jr., a public defender in Reno, NV, has been a colleague and friend of mine for years, and when I read the post he published last year, I stopped cold.

This year, many of us have been focused on unlearning and confronting racist beliefs, behaviors, and institutions that are central to our society and communities.

There is much work to be done, and we need to continue to look inward and outward as we actively and intentionally unwind ourselves from racist systems, institutions, and aggressions on a daily basis.

Though David’s post was shared on social media, our intent with this article is not to encourage us to do more on social media…in fact, for many people, I advise the opposite.

It’s time to do more work offline to permanently eradicate racism from our schools, churches, businesses and government.

This work is not easy, and it is not a journey without guilt, shame and hurt. No matter our age, race, religion, or gender, the feelings we may feel on this anti-racism journey can be difficult. This is deep inner work, and it is not easy. This work impacts our psychological journey and if we are in a difficult place with our own mental health, this work can be even more difficult.

We need to consider our own mental health and psychological wellbeing and explore some of our thoughts and feelings with a trusted therapist, family member or friend. Then, also consider someone of a different age, race, gender, or religion’s mental health and psychological well being, and have empathy for them wherever they are on their journey.

Keeping social media social means acknowledging one another as people online and getting offline to better connect with people of different geo-locations, ages, races, religions, genders, and backgrounds in the real world.

Here are a few new ideas to keep “doing the work” in real life.

Church: Attend a different “church” than your own. Churches of many religions are open and welcoming to all, regardless of race, religion, sex or age.

Look for a church in a new neighborhood or part of town and go attend a service. Go with an open heart and mind, and do not look for judgment or to be judged.

If the word “church” currently represents a concept that does not align with you, substitute the word “church” with any other place that people in communities gather and communicate, such as a hiking trail, bar, or restaurant.

School: Actively connect with people who do not look, think, talk or speak like you do. Make new friends by inviting them to do something together!

Government: Attend a community meeting. Search on google any of the following statements to find one in your area. Be sure to read the agenda, or even look at ways to get on the agenda if you wish to speak at your meeting.

• [Name of neighborhood] community government meetings (e.g., Tennyson community government meetings)

• [Name of city] government meetings (e.g., Denver government meetings)

• How to get more involved in [city name] community (e.g., how to get more involved in Denver community)

Personal: Reflect on any time you may have said something similar to what others said to David. If you remember a specific instance, privately apologize for it directly to the other person or people involved, and to yourself for committing that mistake. (This is also known as repenting, and is a big part of the emotional process. You can repent to others and yourself.)

We can remember to mind our words and to consider others before you speak—online or off—ever again. We alone are responsible for the words we choose to use whether we are online or off, sober or not, happy or sad. Sometimes we get it wrong, and we need to apologize, but we need to take responsibility for our words and actions, in both the physical and digital worlds.

On Facebook, David wrote:

To be black in America is to be told over and over that you are not good enough, that you do not belong, that you are genetically unfit, that your physical presence is undesirable, and that everything about you – right down to your lips – is wrong.

It is absolutely true that everyone experiences hardships in life, but the psychological weight of being told both explicitly and implicitly, on a daily basis, that your very existence is objectionable can at times feel unbearable.

The protests in the streets of America are certainly about the killing of George Floyd, but not just about George Floyd. They are about countless black men, women, and children for whom the punishment did not fit the crime – if indeed there was a crime at all. We live in a country where, in order to recall what life under Jim Crow felt like, many white Americans must pick up a history book. Meanwhile, many black Americans need only pick up a telephone, and call their parents.

When we as people of color share our experiences, we are not doing so to score political points, “play the race card,” get sympathy, assign blame, or to make you feel bad about yourself. We are asking you for help.

We are asking you to join us in the ongoing fight against racism in our country, because we cannot do it alone. It will take Americans of every stripe to eradicate racism from American society. I am now asking for your help. Please seek truth and knowledge. When sharing information, please check your sources and make sure that they are reliable. Try to place what is happening today into a historical context.

David’s post resonated with his community not only in Reno, but throughout the nation, and provided many with new perspectives on his experience as a black man in America. Since it was published on June 13, 2020, his post has generated more than 123,000 likes, 17,000 comments, and 152,000 shares, fully going viral.

18 red flags you're spending too much time online

and how to get off

A Harris poll conducted in spring of 2020 found that more than half of all adults in the US were spending more time on social media than they did before the pandemic. Duh, right? As we’ve reduced our physical interactions, it makes sense that we’ve turned to the digital world to connect with our communities.

It might be time to disconnect to reconnect if:

Your digital worlds and communities become places you no longer enjoy

People, brands, or accounts that used to resonate with you, just don’t anymore

You find you rself d isconnected f rom others in your digital world, focused on how frustrated you are with “them”

You find you rself triggered or hu rt by people that you usually love

You find you rself swim m ing in jealousy, when that is not a normal feeling for you

You find you rself su rrou nd ed by social media drama and cancel culture on a frequent basis

You find you rself ju d ging others, including people you used to, or normally, like

A trau m atic event happened in your physical community and you are broken hearted

u ’ve created an online persona of yourself that you don’t recognize anymore

You have beenu sing you r phone and social media as a weapon to hurt others with your words

You havef allen intoa sham e or comparison cycle

You d on’t like you rself online….or off Social m ed ia has a prof ou nd eff ect on individual and collective mental health, and we cannot heal when we spend all of ou r tim e online.

If any of the above points hit home for you, it may be time to consider getting the eff offline.

A nd if any of the f ollowing red flags describe your digital behavior, it may indicate an even deeper media addiction or an unhealthy relationship with r phone.

Mind lessly passing tim e ona regular basis by staring at your phone

Losing track of time when on your phone

You want to be less involved with your phone

You spend more time on your phone than talking to people in person

e tim e you spend on you r phone has been increasing

When you eat meals, your phone is on the table where you eat

You feel reluctant to be away from your phone

Adapted from questions from David Greenfield, PhD’s Smartphone Compulsion Test to determine the extent of our smartphone dependency from “The Phone Addiction Workbook” written by Hilda Burke, Integrative Psychotherapist.

A s Hild a Bu rke writes, “A ccord ing to Greenfield , if you respond positively to 5 or more of the test’s questions then it’s likely you have a problematic sm artphone-u se pattern.”

Ram Dass says “There’s a sickness that is com ing f rom the id entification of separateness, the ind ivid u al. If you becom e id entified with you r ind ivid uality, then your world is populated by

‘them ’.”

Social media is a tool that is inherently neutral, but it’s also a double-edged sword . On one hand , we can u se social media to connect with other amazing people in the world, and deepen our connections with the people in our physical com m u nities.

On the other hand social m ed ia can drive separation, and force us to focus on our individual selves to feed the ego. The ego keeps u s separated f rom others, and separation and loneliness has an extremely negative impact on m ental health.

Right now, many of us are using social m ed ia as a weapon, and are find ing ourselves on the front lines every day to fight a war we d on’t even know we’re in.

When the time we spend online is hurting our energy and mental health, we alone have the choice and power to set boundaries and get offline.

There are 3 steps we can take to get back to a healthy relationship with social media, technology, and our online world:

1.

GTFO! Get offline for 3-48 hours

2. Reconnect IRL with yourself, and then others.

3. GTFBO! (Get the Eff Back Online!) with intentional energy

We’ll explore the first two steps in this article, and will dive deeper into the third in our August issue.

This content is a part o and a McLernon’s keynote GTFO! Get to Freed om Online TM

1. GTFO! for 3-48 Hours

When was the last time you took 48 hours without your phone, computer or TV? Years ago? Maybe never? You ’re not alone!

Getting offline f or two d ays is a great way to reset and reflect, and d ata shows that getting offline rou tinely is absolutely critical for your long term m ental and physical health.

If 48 hours seems impossible or feels like too m u ch, start with 3. You CA N find 3 hou rs on a Satu r or Sunday to take this time away from a screen for yourself, and you and your mental health d eserve it.

To get offline: Plan ahead

How d o you ad ju st you r sched u le responsibilities, and communication habits to get offline? Who can su pport you and how do you set these boundaries for yourself and others?

Put up boundaries with technology

Whether you tu rn you r phone off hid e it, or lock it in a closet, what physical boundaries will you put up to protect yourself from the craving when it kicks in? (I have a phone box where I hide m y phone. Ou t of sight ou t of m ind !)

Slow down

Get ready to take some intentional rest tim e.

Get

excited

What offline activities or hobbies d o you want to do to reconnect with the physical world ? A rt? Bike? Read ? No matter what you do with your time offline as long as you com plete it you will have su cceed ed

Expect cravings

Your brain is used to a certain level of dopamine, seratonin, and oxytocin hits from your interaction with your phone, and chances are when you get offline you r brain will crave a hit. Make an affirm ation to repeat f or when they hit. For exam ple:

Hold yourself accountable Only you can choose to hold you r bou nd ary or break it. It is u p to you to hold you rself accou ntable.

Intentional Rest

The am ou nt of content we consu m e from podcasts, music, social media, TV, and all corners of the Internet is insane, and in order to reconnect with ou rselves we need to tu rn it all off f or a bit.

I also encourage avoiding alcohol, weed, or other drugs when intentionally resting, to ensure you maintain a clear connection to your consciou sness.

Check in with yourself and consider you r energy. Do you need active or passive rest?

Active Rest no music, no phone

• Rollerblading outside

• A m ind f u l walk ou tsid

• Jumping on a trampoline

• Riding your bike

• Drawing or painting

• etc.

Passive Rest no music, no phone

• Sitting on your porch, patio or in a park and just breathing and observing what’s around you

• Laying down with your eyes open, looking at the ceiling or clouds

• Sitting in a chair, focusing on your breath

• Med itating in a ham m ock

2. Reconnect IRL with yourself, and then others. With yourself

A f ter you ’ve engaged in abou t an hour of intentional rest, check in with you rself . Find a m irror and say hello to you rself . Give you rself a com plim ent. Tell you rself you ’re glad to see you . A sk you rself how you are and if you have som ething to tell you rsel Listen to what com es u p.

Then, it’s tim e to start you r

hard self audit.

The concept of the hard self au d it was taught to me by my teacher, friend, and m entor Chris Hartl with A nagen 11 Salons in Wisconsin. I call it a “hard ” self audit not only because of the questions you ask yourself, but also because some of your answers might be u ncom f ortable or challenging.

It’s important to give ourselves space and grace to confront some of the feelings, including guilt and shame, that may come from answering these qu estions.

For best resu lts, cond u ct you r hard self audit while sober from any controlled su bstances.

Go somewhere you can be alone and feel comfortable being vulnerable: perhaps your bedroom, your study, or a park nearby you r hou se. Sit qu ietly f or 2-3 m inu tes, and take a f ew d eep breaths. Grab a pen and paper, and journal your way through the questions below. Take 1-3 m inu tes per qu estion, bu t no longer.

Let these questions connect with your emotions, and feel your way through this exercise.

These questions are not an exhaustive list, and you may want to continue to answer any additional questions that come up for you through this process.

• What activities in life am I taking part in that I am proud of right now?

“I love and respect myself, and deserve this time without technology. I can do this!”

• What habits in my life am I proud of right now?

• What habits have I developed that are not serving me, or I am not proud of?

• What are some of my core values as a person?

• What in my life is in sync right now?

• What in my life is not in sync right now?

• What are my ethical boundaries for my actions and behavior, online and off?

• How have I been showing up online? Is that consistent with my core values?

• What are my behavior standards for interacting with people online?

• What are my standards for where I spend my time online? Have I accidentally lowered my standards?

• How do I want to be treated by people offline?

• How do I want to be treated by people online?

• How do I want to treat people offline?

• How do I want to treat people online?

• If I could fast forward 3 years, what advice would I give myself today?

With the earth

This one is simple. Go outside with no phone and no music, and enjoy the beauty of the physical world. Look for details to appreciate, like flowers, street art, and colorful doors. Practice looking, seeing, and feeling.

With others

After you have connected yourself and the earth, it’s time to start connecting with other people. Start by intentionally making eye contact with people you see while out and about, and smile even if you’re wearing a mask. Ask your barista at the coffee shop how they are, and really listen to their answer. You could also call up a friend you haven’t seen in a while and ask to Facetime or get together.

This might sound like normal life, if you tend to spend a lot of time around people; however, I think you’ll notice a difference in how you connect with others after you’ve spent time offline and intentionally reconnected with yourself and the physical world. Pay close attention to how you feel when connecting with others.

3. GTFBO! (Get the Eff Back Online!) with intentional energy

This step deserves its own full article, which will be coming in our August issue!

I don’t personally advocate for a life spent 100% offline. I love social media and how it connects me with others, and believe that, though breaks are important, it’s also important to mindfully return to the digital world at some point.

I do, however, advocate for building a new habit pattern in which you recognize when you need to get offline, disconnect from the digital world for 3-48 hours, reconnect with the physical world, and then Get the Eff Back Online with intentional energy!

As Emily Drake, Owner & CEO of The Collective Academy and Founder of the Justice Marathon, says:

“The most rewarding way to engage is to do so from a place of intention - it takes us out of instinct and into intuition, and slowing down our activity if we’re wired/anxious or taking any action if we’re wired/depressed are both actions that make an investment toward moving through the stress cycle. Considering how you interact with social media, what you are giving and what you are getting, can be a powerful first step.”

p.s. if you feel like you have a healthy relationship with social media, we encourage you to pass this message along to anyone in your life who might need to hear it!

GTFO! with us all month long!

If you’re feeling pretty burnt out on social media by this point in 2021, you’re not alone. Join the Keep Social Media Social™️ community for a digital workshop led by Amanda McLernon, CEO and Founder of McLernon & Co. and Keep Social Media Social™️, about why we all need to get offline - NOW.

Getting offline and safely reconnecting in our physical communities is absolutely critical for our mental health, our family’s mental health, our team members’ mental health, and the collective mental health of our country!

In this motivational talk, we will learn actionable steps to consciously step away from our digital worlds to reconnect with ourselves, our community, and our world IRL. (And we’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries that let us continue our work, school and social lives!)

2:00-3:00 EST | 1:00-2:00 CST 12:00-1:00 MST | 11:00-12:00 PST

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