AGAINST ALL ODDZ

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

Day Three – After a delicious bagel breakfast I was off to meet the Manhattan salesman starting with a wine shop a flurry of wine shops. The most unfortunate situation was present everywhere. No clients! Manhattan had become a virtual ghost town as the Covid lockdown emptied those who would shop before heading out on the trains, subways or bus. No workers anywhere in the office towers and no workers to staff the restaurants. The difference between the wine shops and restaurants upstate versus one’s in New York City were in stark contrast. Was it all this way? Entering restaurants without a vaccination card was not allowed, eating outside was. I was prepared having my card with me specifically having priority information.

Over the course of the day, we covered 20,000 steps with the temperature reaching 90+ degrees. It seems like the sidewalks were melting my shoes. Another miscue was not wearing sneakers. By the late afternoon, we had more stop to the Tuscany Steakhouse. I simply asked how many more block from we were away. He indicated only a few blocks, then asked again – probably four to six blocks. And I asked one more time as the inflation of distance occurred all day. The final answer was twelve. I responded as I was hailing a yellow cab if he wanted to join me mentioning the cab has air conditioning. He jumped in. On arrival, the owner was running late

so I told my partner to head home to Connecticut and I’d take care of this one. So the practical side of me decided to stay for dinner which was a great idea. I had a wonderful ribeye and wedge salad as well as ordering a glass of Riesling. Upon finishing, the owner came by and sat down. I offered him the bottles to open as he set up six glasses for the both of us and the bar manager to taste. He poured for us to try. After a quick cheer and routine preparation, a smile appeared. The owner looked by way and a said the Riesling you’re serving doesn’t deserve your entrees. He smiled again and said “you’re right. I have to clear some inventory, but we’ll start your Semi-Dry Riesling by the bottle, then by the glass after.”

Day Four – Was a return the Mid-Hudson region for a repeat of the visit frenzy and back to Manhattan Hilton West 57.

Day Five – A nice meal at the Brooklyn Diner and off to meeting with Hilton Club. A final stop in Poughkeepsie to eat at The Derby talking to the owner about Riesling of course before driving home. He suggested that we consider participating in the Dutchess County fair in the future.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }{ B-UNTETHERED }{ FINANCIALLY SPEAKING{ B-UNTETHERED } } MENOPAUSE SYMPTOMS? THINK AGAIN…MAYBE NOT

My friend is biking up a hill and I can’t keep up. This same friend is the one I used to beat on any cycling route, anywhere, anytime, hills or not. She’s waiting for me at the top. “Are you ok?”, she asks, with a slightly concerned look on her face. “No”, I reply, between gasps of air.

It is not like me to whine. At least not about physical endeavors.

The fact is, I had found myself slowing more and more, seeing decline in my cardiorespiratory fitness level, almost on a monthly basis now. In addition, my hair had continued to thin, I still couldn’t concentrate to save my life, my head sometimes felt like it was going to pop off and I was now having heart palpitations throughout the day.

I had continued to tell myself that this was menopause and that eventually it had to stabilize and I’d feel “normal” again. But somehow, something inside of me said differently. For starters, I felt that I was getting a way bigger dose than all of my other friends. I mean, sure, everyone gained a little weight around the middle but I had put on a full 15 lbs. And yes, one or two friends had complained of hair loss or hot flashes, but heart palpitations? My resting heart rate had jumped 20 points in the last few months. Blood pressure problems? Made no sense.

Had I underestimated the impact of Menopause?

BY ANISSA BUCKLEY

now regained normal breathing but my friend’s question was still circulating in my brain. What the heck was going on? Was I really ok? Just 2 years ago, I had competed in a Half Ironman race – a 70 mile race - and now, I could barely run 2 miles without bending over from dizziness.

My first thought: This is not normal, menopause or not.

Back at home, I started researching the symptoms. I pulled up recent bloodwork and recalled that over the past 3 years I have had “elevated calcium blood levels”. To be specific, my blood calcium levels were > 10.1. And, for these same 3 years, my general doctor continued to tell me that it was “insignificant” and “probably because I was dehydrated”.

Fast forward through another round of bloodwork and many hours of Googling and I find that any woman over 40 with calcium levels above 10.1 is highly likely to have a parathyroid tumor.

Ok, so now we have a name. But how does this concern you? decline) and more.

So, friends – take note: this is a disorder that occurs mostly in women >45 and that presents itself as a bad case of menopause.

The parathyroid glands, of which there are 4, are situated in your neck behind your thyroid gland. The two have nothing to do with one another. The parathyroid gland is responsible for controlling all calcium in your body, which regulates heart rate, blood pressure, and bone density. When one of the parathyroid glands goes haywire, it begins to leech calcium from your bones (hence the bone pain) and dump it into your bloodstream. This of course contributes to increased blood pressure because it thickens or calcifies the walls of your arteries and veins. UUGGGHH.

I urge you, my peri-menopausal friends, to ask for your calcium blood levels the next time you see your doctor. Particularly so if you are more fatigued than normal, dizzy, and just not feeling like yourself. And push like hell to have your parathyroid checked out, if your calcium levels are above 10.1

First, because since I’ve been diagnosed, I’ve found three other friends, within a 3 week period, who’ve all experienced the same thing, at this same stage of life. Second, because the very symptoms that help identify parathyroid disorders can also identify menopause, namely: weight gain, lethargy, inability to focus, bone and joint pain, VO2 Max decline (cardio Treatment, you ask?

The good news is that an overactive parathyroid means there is a tumor on your gland. The positive is that 99% of the time, that tumor is benign, or not cancerous. The bad news is that they have to remove that parathyroid gland and the only way to do that is surgery.

“So if nothing else, my hope is that we can start to spread the news that “menopause symptoms” can be more than just that.”

So, to level set on the chances of you having this, let me first say that the prevalence of this is 2-3x more likely in women versus men. Then, research has found that Black women are slightly more likely than Caucasian women, who are slightly more likely than Hispanic women who are more likely than Asian women to have this. The net-net is that you cannot ignore this because, over time, it will damage your vital organs to a point of death. Your heart and your kidneys will be the first to stop performing.

So if nothing else, my hope is that we can start to spread the news that “menopause symptoms” can be more than just that. And if your doctor tells you that your “out of normal range” bloodwork is “insignificant”, you push him/her for more tests or you find a new doctor.

Stay well and BU! Anissa

AGNESS

{ SHIFT+CONTROL{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS{ B. MOR } }}} A.I. AND MARKETING IN THE FUTURE

BY BREANN MORRIS

How Will Artificial Intelligence Affect Marketing in the Future?

Have you ever bought something very specific through an online store, then later that day you see an ad on Instagram for that exact product? It’s not just a coincidence! Technology continues to advance to help brands personalize advertisements targeting individual customers in a meaningful way, through the power of artificial intelligence (AI). Using AI, brands can track customers’ product searching history and past purchases to recommend similar or equally popular products on their website or through social media. Companies continue to hire more and more big data professionals, like programmers and data scientists, for they will soon become the backbone of most marketing campaigns. Artificial intelligence uses machine learning and big data analysis to gather customer profile information for companies to enhance the customer experience and remain competitive in the market. Before diving into what this means for marketing in the future, let’s take a closer look at just what makes AI so powerful.

What is Artificial Intelligence?

Overall, it’s one of the many great examples of technology evolving to improve the lives of digital marketers. Artificial Intelligence is essentially teaching a machine to perform tasks that normally requires human intelligence. In terms of marketing, it’s a method of using technology to its fullest potential to both gain customer profile insights as well as improve the customer experience. AI is used to increase the return on investment (ROI) of marketing

campaigns. Companies see this practice supporting the advancement of customer profiling, the improvement of chat bot communication, the personalization of product recommendations, and so many other benefits to this new digital marketing technology.

Advancement of Customer Profiling

One of the many ways companies can take advantage of artificial intelligence to improve their digital marketing ROI is by gaining a better understanding of what the target audience’s interests, preferences, and most importantly, needs are. As we have previously mentioned in our blog about creating a customer persona, characterizing your ideal customer profile and buyer persona is crucial for segmenting your messaging and content to the proper consumers. Allowing AI to collect, analyze, and process large sets of data will help your marketing team gain stronger insight into consumer purchasing habits and spending motives. This specific profiling lets companies send incredibly personalized content and product recommendations directly to their audience.

Personalized Product and Content Recommendations

Artificial Intelligence takes personalizing customer recommendations to a whole new level. A great example of how companies successfully use AI to influence customer buying decisions is Amazon recommending products to customers that they know they will appreciate through utilizing past purchasing data and product search history. A whopping 35% of products bought on Amazon are

“As companies continue to grow with larger social media presences, keeping up with comments and reviews, and addressing the positivity or negativity, will get more challenging.”

AI-driven recommendations, without the help of extraneous marketing investments. Using this tactic, companies can take advantage of AI to continue growing the customer shopping experience and earn brand loyalty. AI has already advanced to automating content, using complex algorithms and large data sets. this article from our friends at Social Media Examiner with their top chatbot recommendations.

Social Media Listening

High-Performing Chat Bots

Some may say the most important aspect of digital marketing is protecting and building the company reputation

Enhancing the customer journey by providing support whenever necessary helps improve overall customer satisfaction and in turn helps companies earn brand loyalty. When customers have questions or concerns about the product or service available, transparency and communication will impact the buyer decision-making process. If a certain fault or question is not addressed in a timely manner, potential customers are likely to feel frustrated and opt out. Excellent online customer support available 24/7 is the most ideal way to avoid these issues, but having employees cover this task would be difficult to manage and costly. Thankfully, AI-powered, high-performing chat bots can use predetermined and canned phrases for customer’s commonly asked questions. Low-cost AI-powered assistants can solve nearly every customer dilemma in a way that makes it difficult to distinguish these bots from human customer support agents! Check out throughout all platforms in not only the content created, but also the social interactions with customers. On social media, it’s vital that the company addresses comments and reviews promptly to increase brand engagement and earn customer retention. Receiving comments online can be empowering and insightful, but there are times when dissatisfied customers will try to communicate their thoughts and feelings publicly. Marketing teams need to react to negativity properly and in an efficient manner to avoid the possibility of a domino effect. As companies continue to grow with larger social media presences, keeping up with comments and reviews, and addressing the positivity or negativity, will get more challenging. Social media tools using AI-driven technology can help spot brand mentions across the internet and provide insight for the marketing team on trending comments that could be addressed collectively. Companies can gain sentiment analysis, spot an influx of positive or negative comments, and even recognize tone of voice using AI tools like Mention. These advanced social media tools will improve the lives of digital marketers and help protect company reputations.

In my opinion, AI has the potential to create a positive impact on marketing campaigns in the future, if utilized correctly. There’s a powerful balance between earning your customer’s trust by respecting their space while also meeting their needs and as a result becoming the brand they know they can turn to. Overall, I look forward to further AI innovation and its role within marketing strategies in the coming years!

-Bre

SO YOU WANT TO BE A FOOD CRITIQUE

BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

So, you want to be a food critique, yet you have never even tasted my food. I don’t shy away from criticism, in fact it’s how I learn and evolve with my business. I listen to what my loyal customers have to say to me, I process it and I use what is relevant to make my business more desirable. Any smart business owner knows that in order to be successful, you have no choice but to take the good with the bad. People love food, no doubt about it, but they also love to give advice. If there’s anything

I’ve learned, is listen to your customers, and understand that there are also individuals who never plan to be a customer, yet they will follow you on social media, and let you know that “I would never eat that, it’s called garbage.” Or “your prices are way too high.” Or the classic “every time I come there, your closed.” The information is a non-stop influx of what I’d do if I were you, and how bad the food looks, and advice on how to run my little family owned eatery and food truck. These are the comments from people who haven’t even been to my place. Not once.

I once had a woman post on my social media that my $10 burger and fries was way too expensive, and so I took it upon myself to publicly ask her where she was getting this meal for less. To my surprise she continued the conversation and let me know about a food truck selling hots and burgers for $3. I had never heard of them, and that must be why. She continues to go on about eating McDonald’s for less, and I could only then imagine her capacity to understand how ignorant she was sounding. As my loyal customers then chimed in. I of course graciously invited her to become my food critic, even the first meal is on the house. She ended up deleting her comment thread and privately apologizing. I guess she was under the impression she would bait

me into some uneducated disrespectful banter on a public forum and make me feel bad about something in life. As when I searched her profile up she is one of the friends of the pedophile I didn’t name but the whole town knows about in one of my last articles. So, I’m sure his horrible cult followers have me on the list of who to heckle. It didn’t work tho, I never back down. And I won’t stoop to a public forum where individuals like that chop up and screen shot what you say, only sharing what incriminates you. I’ve seen it first hand. I have plenty of this. As a woman business owner moving back to a small town. Everyone wants to be my critique.

Rate my food, my business etiquette, my articles. Feel free, but only if you have experienced it first hand. People prey on trolling these days.I’ve even had hate mail about my articles. Articles where I wrote about personal experiences and how they pertain to me. IveI even had someone create a fake account to try to troll the business. He was a 70 year old man from Tennessee who had about 6 friends. He wanted me to know that my food had no taste, I’m homophobic and racist and wanted everyone to know so they wouldn’t come eat my food. I had to remind him that even bad food has a taste, I’m not even straight and my lineage isn’t completely white, so his (or her) claims were all 100 percent false. I’m sure that one was one of my “haters” fake profiles. Sad that I even have to say that sentence, based on the fact that I use my voice and share my opinions.

I have people who spend time trying to make me feel bad. Wasting time to make another person feel bad. Think about that. If that’s you, you should definitely get out the self help mirror and have a Stuart Smalley talk with yourself. You have deep seeded issues that trolling and heckling others isn’t

“I don’t shy away from criticism, in fact it’s how I learn and evolve with my business.”

going to fix. It may help make you feel validated for a moment, but truth be told, these types of people need serious counseling for those daddy issues, and distorted self images they have of themselves. I acknowledge it, fix it and go out of my way to make up for it. But what I won’t do is get belittled, and told my place or food is crappy just because it isn’t what you would eat normally.

On another note I’d like to debunk the old saying “the customer is always right.” I’ve worked with the public for many years and as a young adult emerging in this industry, I feel that was the worst bit of advice I was ever given. Let’s face it, the Karen’s have now used this as their mantra to degrade the customer service workers. Just because you wouldn’t eat this type of food, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

It’s like me going to a restaurant and letting them know liver and onions is disgusting and how dare they serve this crap? I don’t like it, it isn’t my cup of tea, but someone does. You can’t base your dislike on an establishment because your a picky eater, or it isn’t something you personally would eat. That sounds like 3 year old mentality. The customer isn’t always right, and a little respect and common courtesy goes a long way. To err is human, and we all need to recognize this. I’ve made mistakes at my place and whenever this happens Or, to be disrespected when those occurrences happen that a mistake is made. We’re all understaffed these days. Good help is hard to find. My my critic. I welcome this with open arms and a full belly. Critique my food, but you have to come in to eat it. Critique my business etiquette, but also tell me again the businesses you ran successfully. Critique my writing, it actually fuels my brain and leads to my next best article. Even the haters who read it are supporting my writing career, and are then left with my words echoing in their thoughts.

So critique me please. I’ll set the table for you at Karma’s Eatery 8495 Ridge Rd. Alton, Ny. “We make the best plates, bite me!”

son Roan and I welcome you to our place. I list where and when we are open on social media. The consistency is tough these days as help is scarce. I know if you ran it, it would be different. But that’s the difference, you don’t. And you really wouldn’t. You can only be one person, in one place. Remember we have two.

DIY DIVORCE

The “Do it yourself” Divorce- It’s possible, but is it wise? It is not as easy as you may think.

Every year, I have numerous clients calling me desperate for help with their DIY divorce. Some have been trying to complete the divorce for years and keep getting stuck on the papers, others thought they completed the divorce and found out that it was never finished, and still others may have completed it and realized after that they missed several important issues which are now creating problems in their lives.

They thought they could handle it, but it has gone out of control. People try to do their own divorce for many reasons. They often think it will be cheap, easy, and fast. They may feel uncomfortable trying to find a lawyer to help them. They have heard horror stories about bad divorces and out of sight lawyer fees. They have talked to friends, neighbors, even strangers who have told tales of their divorce getting out of their control and feeling taken advantage of by the system. Most think they know what they want to happen, they think their spouse is on the same page, and it that it can’t be that complicated.

In New York State you can find the divorce papers online, you can fill them out and follow the instructions in the packet, and still find yourself without your divorce, or divorced in a financial situation or parenting situation that is not what you anticipated. You also

BY JULIE V. MERSEREAU

may waste valuable time with rejection by the court.

All of the decisions that need to be made and forms and procedures that need to be followed to be granted a divorce are very specific and can be confusing.

It takes a lot of time for one person to figure out how to handle all of the issues when they have no background or training on how to get it done.

The decisions that have to be made in a divorce begin with choosing the ground for divorce. In New York, the grounds are set forth in the law as follows: (a) the cruel and inhuman treatment of Plaintiff by Defendant OR Defendant by Plaintiff pursuant to D.R.L. §170(1); and/or

(b) the abandonment of Plaintiff OR Defendant by Plaintiff OR Defendant, for a period of one or more years, pursuant to D.R.L. §170(2); and/or

(c) the confinement of Plaintiff OR Defendant in prison for a period of three or more consecutive years after the marriage of Plaintiff and Defendant, pursuant to D.R.L.§170(3); and/or

(d) the commission of an act of adultery by Plaintiff OR Defendant, pursuant to D.R.L.§170(4); and/or

(e) the parties having lived separate and apart pursuant to a decree or judgment of separation for a period of one or more years after the granting of such decree or judgment, pursuant to D.R.L. §170(5); and/or

(f) the parties having lived separate and apart pursuant to a Separation Agreement dated in compliance with the provisions of D.R.L. §170(6); and/or

(g) the relationship between Plaintiff and Defendant has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months pursuant to D.R.L. §170(7);

“The “Do it yourself” Divorce- It’s possible, but is it wise? It is not as easy as you may think.”

The most commonly use ground for divorce is letter (g) above; irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for a period of at least six months. Using this ground allows the court to grant a divorce even if the Defendant doesn’t want to be divorced. But the Divorce does not just happen. In order for the court to grant the divorce all of the ancillary issues in the divorce must be determined by agreement of the parties, or order of the court.

The outline below is a very basic list of the issues that must be determined and put into an agreement in order to get an uncontested divorce.

1.Parenting Arrangement -if there are children you need to decide: a. Time-sharing schedule b. Decision making c. Communication d. Access to information e. Relocation considerations f. Transportation

2. Property Issues must be determined a. Marital or separate property b. Marital residence – mortgage, home equity balance(s) c. Pensions, profit sharing, 401(k), IRA, deferred compensation, options d. Business interests, educational degrees, professional licenses e. Personal property (cars, furniture, etc.) – title, loan(s), insurance f. For all property – fair market value, cost to valuate or appraise, valuation date(s) g. Equitable division of marital property h. Marital debt – identify and apportion responsibility i. Tax consequences – e.g., adjust when trading after-tax for pre-tax dollars j. Estate rights

3. Health Care – the children must have health insurance and you must decide who will provide it. a. Insurance – provision and cost b. Uninsured medical expenses

4. Cash Flow to Two Households- Child Support and Spousal Support/Alimony a. Child support needs to be decided and who will be paying for what for the children b. You need to know both Husband and Wife’s current income, employment status and opportunities for each spouse c. Marital property and separate assets available to each spouse d. Education needed for full employment of either spouse – time and cost e. Retirement planning f. Allocation between child and spousal support for tax purposes

5. Life Insurance-

Does either spouse have life insurance to cover the support of children or of a spouse should they pass away, can they get life insurance?

6. Income Tax Issues- Child tax credits and dependency benefits. These must be decided. a. Dependency exemptions/ head of household status b. Filing status for future years, and if divorce, for last year of marriage

All of these issues are important and decision-making around these decisions are complex. It is important to make sure you have all the information you need to make these decisions and understand how they can impact the other decisions that need to be made.

Your divorce is one of the most important decisions and factors that will affect your future and that of your children. Doing it yourself is risky business. Before you begin trying to do it yourself, please consider Divorce Mediation as a process to make sure you and your spouse are covering all of the issues and let an attorney file the divorce paperwork for you after you have your agreement. It is less costly than you may expect and there are resources that do not charge for their services if you qualify. Many Divorce Mediators also work on a sliding scale, and can refer to attorney’s who are willing to file uncontested divorce paperwork for a minimal fee.

If you would like further information about Divorce Mediation or other divorce options or would like to schedule an appointment to discuss your options, please call me at 585-377-5487 or email: julie@jmersereaulaw.com

- Written by Julie V. Mersereau, Esq., Attorney Mediator and Collaborative Law Attorney. Ms. Mersereau focuses her practice on Family Mediation, including Divorce Mediation, Marital Mediation and Elder Mediation, and Mediation regarding other family system issues. She is also a trained Collaborative Lawyer.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }{ WOMAN ON THE RISE{ HOPING & COPING } } COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND SMILE!

Count your blessings and smile sounds cliche but there’s a great deal of truth to it and it’s easier than you may think.

There are pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, good and bad aspects to every decision we make and situations we find ourselves in. Another benefit is that it loosens us up to solve problems. We spend more time focusing on the negative because our brains are built in problem solvers. Which is wonderful! But let’s not get stuck there!

There is so much beauty within us and around us. We need to take the time to appreciate that and cherish it. In order to do that, we have to make ourselves aware. Re-train our brains to a degree! For some, it may easier said than done. But if you try it, you may become addicted to it!

Start with small things. I guarantee you that, even in spaces you dislike, you can find things to be grateful for. Find one thing, at least, and concentrate on its beauty. It’s exhilarating! Then, wherever you are, if you’re feeling blue or mad or can’t stop thinking

BY MELINDA FINN

about something that’s making you upset, make a mental list. You can put anything on it you like! No boundaries. Think about the good in your situation. Think about people, pets, places that make you happy. By the time you’re done with the list, you’ll feel much better!

For example, a couple of years ago, I was in New York City. I had an appointment I needed to get to. I’m notorious for being late and I really wanted to be on time. The night before, I had gone shopping with my brother. It was summer and I needed a new pair of sandals because my old ones were shot. I had gone out with friends to a fun event and we were each given lovely umbrellas! I was all prepared.

That day, I went out to catch the shuttle but it left! I took the subway but, in my panic, got off at the wrong stop. As I walked onto the street, it started raining. It became a veritable cloudburst but I thought ‘Hey! I’ve got an umbrella! No problem!’ Number One on the list! Number Two: The water on the sidewalk was getting deeper and I thought about how I had new sandals. If I were wearing the old ones, I probably would’ve slipped and fallen! As I headed to the appointment, I had several things on my list and I felt great! I even have a picture of me from that day and I’m genuinely smiling.

So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, count your blessings and smile! It really works and you’ll feel great!