11 minute read
KARMA SPEAKS
RESERVED FOR KARMA
BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
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“Reserved For Karma” is what the bold red letters say on the white sign at the dock. It’s where I dock my little 1973 vintage project boat, in between those times I get to take her out. This was the year I decided to give myself the pleasure of enjoying the lake where I grew up every chance I could. Even though I know I’m not, they may have found it bizarre. So instead I stopped what I was doing and stood chatting with a little boy, and his grandparents about the project on the green boat.
She sits among the other bigger, newer, better boats.right next to the diners at Abe’s Mai Tai Tiki Bar, who get a birds eye view of why I call her “lil Smokey”. When the engine decides to fire up, she announces it to all in view and I can troll out in a puff of smoke that smells of oil and gasoline. Although I always thought she was magnificent, with her olive green bow that screams 70’s all over again and rustic interior that I began replacing this year. She has character and charm beneath that beat up old shell and much like myself, she draws the attention of strangers right to her. Maybe she too is a gypsy and that’s her true name.
I once showed up to work on her and to my surprise the little boy who was eating with his grandparents was so excited. As “that lady is here for the green boat!” I was told it was all he talked about during lunch and said he loved the green boat. I would have asked him to come in, and fire her up but didn’t want to be that creepy old lady who once had wide eyed little boys of her own. I ran into them the very next day, and of course the little boy knew exactly who I was,“there’s the green boat lady!” Was shouted out with his wide eyes
and pure joy. I stopped and chatted and let them know if they ever come back and I’m there, I’ll let him start it up. They didn’t find that creepy at all, in fact they were overly grateful that I even took the time to talk.
On another occasion I was approached by a gentleman who was admiring my boat on his way out to his bigger newer boat with his young family. He told me about his similar project boat on the other side of the bay and gave me tips on when I tear up the floor and lay a new one. He asked me about the engine, and was impressed it’s a 1975 Chrysler 75 horsepower. We chatted a bit and he told me he had breakfast at my food truck that day, he said “your Karma,right?” Yeah I told him with a half smirk. I’m Karma. It always surprises me when strangers know who I am, and humbles me. It reminds me that even when we aren’t aware, we are still being watched.
It keeps me in check with the way I want to be portrayed, and to do things which keep my universe balanced. The spot is reserved for Karma, and I sometimes feel it’s more than just my boat. You see, when I went away for vacation I received word that my boat sank. I was in the middle of Pennsylvania, in a flash flood warning which seemed like a monsoon. That’s when I got word she came untied. “You better get down here with some ropes” was actually the message I received first. The stress of this seemed immeasurable but I was told that my friends at the dock got her tied back up but, I need new ropes. I was thankful and relieved.
Until the next morning when my good friend Jamie called me. “Your boats at the bottom of the bay” he said. I was in Virginia, and my stomach dropped. What the hell do you do when your boat sinks? I hadn’t the first clue. I didn’t know who to call, what to say
or how to even think. Most would think this an omen, or Bad Karma. Wonder what it was they did to deserve this. but that’s not how the universe works. You need balance in life, and Mother Nature has her own agenda. And I personally fail to think this way. needed. Who help without asking, and who without a doubt keep an eye out for you. My boat sank, but not because anyone let it. It was a monsoon, there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. had also texted my step cousin Jordon who without a doubt went down to the docks to see what he could do to help.
Bad things have to happen but perception is everything. I made calls, And texts and was worried sick. I heard the DEC fines you when your boat sinks. I felt at a loss and was told at this point my little green boat would be a total loss. Even if I get it lifted, and pay this huge fee there’s a chance the weight of the water could snap her in half. I was told the engine would now be ruined. And even after paying out the required fee, lil Smokey would be no more. But then, the universe does what it needs to, as the balance I spoke of has to even itself out. I try to present myself in a manner that exudes a positive aura, and in doing so believe that will keep the flow in return.
What happened next is one of the many reasons I trust in if you do good things, good things happen. This was a crisis for sure, yet within this I was able to witness the good of people in my circle first hand. The people at the dock may not be my closest friends, but they are a circle of individuals who give when But what they did was pretty amazing. Jamie called me to let me know to wait on hiring anyone to lift it. He was going to see who was at the dock and see what
they could do. He found Rocco, who seems to always be there when I need any help on my little green boat. He personally has been my boat macgyver and Mr fix it. I owe him meals at Karma’s for life. These two guys spent hours in the water lifting my boat with long poles And draining what Rocco said was tons of water. They put their own Well being at risk and spent time they could have done anything else and instead spent it lifting out my boat. During my panic I All the while I was in Virginia silently saying goodbye to the fabulous little boat I was going to renovate into a spectacular sight. I thanked her for the sunset cruises, the sandbar outings, the one time we almost died on the lake fighting them waves. I got her worth and then some, she had served me well. But I honestly wasn’t ready to let her go. And that’s when I got a text. “Your boats above water” is all it said. Then another message with a video, “your boat still runs”. I was in shock and in awe. Not only did these guys work at least two hours lifting this boat, they also worked the engine and got her to run. Where most people would have seen a horrible incident, I will always see it as one of those good things that leaves you breathless in life.
The balance that the universe needs to keep flowing correctly. I can’t even thank these guys enough. The sign says Reserved for Karma, and I don’t think it means just me, or my boat. I’d like to think that little spot means a whole lot more. A little place where good things happen, even if at first you have to weather the storm.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }{ COLLABORATIVE LAW } YOUR CHILDREN AND DIVORCE
THE PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, BEHAVIORAL, ACADEMIC & FINANCIAL IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN.
Children are impacted by their parents’ divorce on every level. Divorce is stressful for parents. The children feel it and carry their own stress as well as the impact of the parental stress. We see this in their physical health, emotional health, behavior and academic performance. They are also impacted by the change in the financial status of their households and even by the change in their physical environment.
Physical Health:
Children often have the stress and confusion of divorce show up in physical symptoms. These physical symptoms can include: • Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits • Headache • New or recurrent bedwetting • Nightmares • Sleep disturbances • Upset stomach or vague stomach pain • Other physical symptoms with no physical illness
Parents should be sure to watch what is happening with their children for signs of these symptoms. If they appear, it is important to address the symptom with the child and consider speaking with the child’s pediatrician about what is
BY JULIE V. MERSEREAU
happening in the home-life so the doctor can take that into consideration when evaluating the child. In addition, it is important to keep track of the children’s regular physical health checkups and vaccinations. When there is so much going on in a parent’s life during the divorce process sometimes the normal
scheduling of health care can be lost in the confusion.
Emotional health:
Divorce is scary, the child’s world is changing, and they don’t have any say in what is happening. They can feel helpless, alone, angry, scared and sad. Very often parents are engulfed in their own emotional turmoil and are unable to see what is happening with the children. The child may think they caused the parents separation. They may think that they were “bad” so mom and dad fight and can’t stay together. This is a significant burden on children and can cause physical symptoms as identified above.
Some parent’s turn to their children for support during the divorce, they treat the child more like a friend and relay on the child to make them feel better. This puts incredible stress on the child. The child needs to feel that the parent is caring for him/her, not that he/ she is responsible for caring for the parent.
The child may be experiencing the abrupt loss of one of the parents, who is not longer living in the marital home. The child may believe that s/he won’t ever see the parent again. This raises issues of abandonment and anger.
Academic performance:
The child’s homelife and stress impacts their ability to function at school socially and academically.
Parent’s may see disruption in school performance and attendance. The school may need to be informed of what is going on at home so they can help address symptoms that show up during the school day.
All children are different, some hold their feelings inside and the parents may not see the impact of the divorce on their children. Other children may
show outward signs that are more easily interpreted. All children deserve to have their issues and concerns noticed and considered. Parent’s should be attentive to their children and remember that what happens in the parent’s life happens in the children’s lives. affect your life; for example, when one of your parents is going to move or get remarried. and parents with the challenge and stress of these conversations:
7. The right to reasonable financial support during your childhood and through your college years.
When keeping the children in mind please consider the following Children’s Bill of Rights.
Every child whose parents’ divorce has:
1. The right to love and be loved by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval.
2. The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other.
3. The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry messages, or hear complaints about the other parent.
4. The right not to have to choose one of your parents over the other. 8. The right to have feelings, to express your feelings, and to have both parents listen to how you feel. • Do not keep it a secret or wait until the last minute. • Tell your child together with your spouse if possible. • Keep things simple and straightforward and don’t share more information than your child is asking for.
• Tell them the divorce is not their fault. • Admit that this will be sad and upsetting for everyone. • Reassure your child that you both still love them and will always be their parents. • Do not discuss each other’s faults or problems with the child.
9. The right to have a life that is as close as possible to what it would have been if your parents stayed together.
5. The right not to have to be responsible for the burden of either of your parents’ emotional problems. 10. The right to be a kid.
Talk to your children. Let them know what is happening. Even though talking to children about a divorce is difficult it must be done. The following tips can help both the child
