MENTALLY THINKING

GRATITUDE

BY BONNIE FLOYD

The dictionary defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful, as well as a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

However, I wonder how many of us, on a regular basis, really exhibit these characteristics of gratitude in our daily lives? All too easily, we may find ourselves living in the past, as opposed to being grateful for what we have in our lives currently. Just as easily, we may find ourselves postponing our gratitude for the things that we hope will take place in our lives in the future.

I’m continuing to deal with multiple chronic illnesses in my life. I have learned, firsthand, the difference that cultivating an attitude of gratitude truly makes. At various times during the past several decades, I have experienced devastating effects of my chronic medical diagnoses, including blindness, paralysis, incontinence, and severe airway obstruction.

Experiencing such significant types of symptoms really helped me to cut to the chase of what truly matters in life. Simply put, I powerfully learned to no longer sweat the small stuff. I was forced to look at my life from a very different perspective; I began to cultivate deep gratitude for those abilities which remained, as opposed to continuing to mourn those abilities that had been lost.

Unquestionably, this entire process was made a lot easier by having abilities that were temporarily, as opposed to permanently lost. Nevertheless, having lost such valued abilities to see, hear, walk, and simply breathe powerfully changed who I am. If I was ever going to cope more adequately with the card of hands I’d been dealt, I needed to radically alter my perspective.

Prior to experiencing such dramatic health disturbances, I had been guilty of thinking of those very things that I thought were still missing from my daily life, as opposed to being truly grateful for my many blessings.

As painful as my experiences of being seriously ill have been, on multiple occasions, I would never wish them to have never taken place. I have been forced to learn how to live more fully in the present, as opposed to either the past or the future. I’ve learned to pay closer attention to small, daily blessings, as opposed to always thinking that a major transition or accomplishment in my life would guarantee true happiness.

I strongly believe that one of the major reasons why I have been allowed to experience such intense suffering is so that I could assist others who are also struggling. Working as a clinical health psychologist has afforded me the opportunity to witness, up close and personal, a great deal of suffering. I see clients who are struggling with both physical and emotional disorders.

Because I have personally struggled with both types of issues myself, I am much more compassionate in responding empathetically to my clients. Responding to their suffering has ceased to be a dry, academic exercise. When such clients appear to not be fully convinced that I truly understand the struggles they are facing, I retain the option to gently disclose my own personal struggles. This has profoundly impacted the therapeutic connection that I’m able to make with them.

This season of thanksgiving, I challenge you to also develop an attitude of gratitude. Begin to slowly stop to appreciate your many blessings each day. Initially, this very exercise might feel foreign, since many of us are deeply accustomed to thinking about what is wrong with our everyday lives. Believe me, developing a more grateful attitude is possible over time. Like any other skill, it needs to be practiced on a regular basis in order to become second nature.

Each day throughout November, I intentionally list one thing for which I am grateful, via Facebook. I have found that engaging in this exercise helps me to increasingly count my many blessings, no matter how trivial they might appear to others. I find that I’ve also begun to feel much happier as a result of expressing gratitude. Everyday irritations no longer seem to both me as much, too.

I’d like to think that expressing gratitude on a regular basis has positively impacted how I interact with others each day. I think that learning to cultivate gratitude has allowed me to become less irritated by the insensitivity of others. I’m much more likely to interpret their responses as a reflection of distressing events in their lives, as opposed to somehow being a personal reflection of who I happen to be.

I challenge you to also develop increased gratitude. Promise me, it will powerfully impact multiple aspects of your daily life. You’ll have greater peace of mind, too.