YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

BY DEVAN ROBINSON PHOTO BY NICOLE LOCKHART PHOTOGRAPHY

I would get embarrassed and start to act a little awkward about it. I felt unsure how to respond. When someone would tell me that I did a good job I would end up saying things like:

“Oh, it was nothing.”

“I’m just lucky.”

“Anyone could have done it.”

“I still have so much to learn.”

“I’m just doing my best.”

“Oh, it wasn’t all me.”

Phrases like these may seem like the right thing to say, but in all honesty these phrases are a subtle way of talking ourselves down. I was basically brushing off the compliments. Words are so powerful, yet instead of taking power from the compliments I was tearing myself down with them. I was focused on how I could have done better or what I messed up on, rather than accepting all the hard work I had accomplished.

We were not born with the desire to be excessively modest, but we have been socially conditioned to do this. We’ve been conditioned to be modest, humble, and quiet about how awesome we are. But, that’s what I want you to stop doing. Instead I want you to truly value yourself for what and who you are. I want you to break out of being excessively modest. I want you to strengthen the value you have in yourself. I want you to switch up these phrases. Rather than trying to brush off the compliments, accept them and say “thank you”. Don’t be afraid to be amazing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Accept these compliments so you can acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments.

When we are excessively modest, we are undervaluing ourselves. When we don’t accept compliments by brushing them off, we are belittling ourselves. We are dismissing our good qualities and focusing on our imperfections instead. We are not fully showing up as who we actually are. It’s a form of self-sabotage that we may not even realize we are doing. I also think it is important to recognize that when we immediately deflect a compliment from someone it could also come across as if we don’t trust their opinion or that we are dismissing them. So not only are we hurting ourselves, but we are also potentially hurting our relationships with those around us.

Being excessively modest affects our self-esteem, self- confidence, and self-worth. When you constantly downplay your achievements, you are then not giving yourself enough credit. This then leaks into our minds and develops feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. This self-doubt will then hold you back from pursuing new opportunities and reaching for your goals. It will keep you from stepping into your power.

I want you to live on the plain of existence where you know without a doubt that you are valuable for just existing. When you value yourself and acknowledge your strengths it will boost your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. You will see your personal and professional life impacted in a positive way. You will find that it is easier to take on new challenges and you will see more opportunities appear for you.

I know that I am making it sound like a simple switch, but I do understand that this takes time. And I want you to know that also. I want to make sure you are kind to yourself as you make this adjustment. Practice patience and self-compassion as you work on switching up your mindset around compliments. And if you need some help through this process, I got your back! Join us inside the BABB Tribe to have access to me on speed dial. Let me help you fully believe that you are valuable for just existing.

Let’s stop this cycle of excessive modesty and instead kick down this social conditioning and break these glass ceilings.

Warmly, Devan

About the Author

Devan Robinson is the author of “What’s Your Worth? And I Don’t Mean Money.”, motivational speaker, and founder of the Be A Bold Ass Bitch Tribe. She helps women gain confidence and understand their strengths so they can reach their goals without guilt, shame, or fear. When she isn’t working on changing the world, you can usually find her hanging out with her human and fur babies, spending time with her husband, or watching Netflix. If you are interested in learning more about her, check out her website www.developingwithdevan.com.