7 minute read
CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS
A CONVERSATION
BY LAURI MCNIGHT
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Gina Domingo, 36, biker and former foster youth has a story to tell. A story which may not be well known. She wants to spread the message that foster youth are kids who need families, who need support and have a voice that needs to be heard. So Gina has begun to speak out about her own experiences and the impact the foster care sys-tem had on her life. people who have taken her “under their wing” and sup-ported her, but disclosed that she wishes she had an adoptive family to give her long term stability and unconditional love and support that she never had. We know that every child in foster care has a unique experience, but there are certain commonalities shared amongst most all of them. Because of Gina’s own experiences, she under-stands
We first learned of Gina when she contacted Children Awaiting Parents’ (CAP) Ex-ecutive Director Lauri McKnight. After seeing the agency’s mission to find foster youth a forever family, Gina was extremely excited and passionate during our first connection. She shared some of her personal experiences and why she and motorcycle groups like the Kendaia Kingz, are committed to helping CAP youth.
THE EXPERIENCE
Gina was 9 years old when she first went into foster care. The victim of an abusive sit-uation, Gina went through multiple placements and had even been hospitalized and in several group homes in addition to foster home placements. Gina stated she had some good experiences and some not-so-good experiences. Of the handful of foster homes, there were some she believed truly loved her. “But I just couldn’t handle that” she says, thinking the families really loved her as their own.
Gina moved through the system with a constant desire to be adopted. She expresses that over the years, she had the emotions that youth experience such as feeling alone, helpless, like a com-plete outcast from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, like many of her foster peers, Gi-na’s experiences taught her that if her own family did not want or could not take care of her, what makes her think a stranger would.
THE IMPACT
Lack of permanency impacts youth in the foster system through their teen years and into adulthood. Children do not just become healed once they leave the system. The impact stays with them. For Gina, the lack of stability had the biggest effect on her--not having that loving, forever family. “I am still that same girl who moved with trash bags up until my most recent move as an adult when I used actual boxes.” That is what chil-dren like Gina learn moving from home to home in the system. The lack of support im-pacted her entire life – she became what we now know as “one of the statistics.” Of the youth who age out of foster care without a support system, 20% become homeless, pregnant or incarcerated in the first 18 months. For Gina, this included becoming a teen mom, and eventually becoming a young mother to five children, without the stabil-ity of longterm relationships. Youth who have been frequently moved through the sys-tem often have attachment issues and struggle to build and maintain long term rela-tionships.
For Gina, “always having to make sacrifices that she should never have had to make, would have been different if she had a solid family. And Gina is passionate about sending a strong message to teens today. She wants them to know what she would say to her 15-year-old self if she could...”I would say let someone love you (Gina), be-cause you deserve it. You don’t have to do this alone just because
you are strong and are afraid of being hurt. Pain is part of life. But let love in and lean on a family to help guide you on your journey. Not everyone in the world will turn their back on you, and you are deserving of a family’s love.” She wants foster youth to know that she and many others have their backs.
THE CHANGE
Determined not to fail, Gina was determined that she would not be just another statistic. She was going to break the cycle. Over the years, she has reached many milestones in overcoming trauma. “I have had to overcome and deal with issues from my biological mother, other relationships, and learn to love myself.” Two years ago, Gina met the per-son she had been searching for in life—and for the first time in her entire life found protection, commitment, and support. During some dark days as she forged into sobrie-ty, she learned what a real support system is.
Gina can now say, “I have learned to love unconditionally, and fully trust at least one person. To this day, I still struggle with my trauma, but I have truly learned to lean into it and let it teach me those hard lessons.” Her children are everyday reminders of the true love she has in her heart, and they drive her to go as far especially after she didn’t think she would be a very good mother. She remembers the love some of her foster parents gave me and was able to pass that love along to her own children. “After I had my fourth child, one of my former foster parents sent me the book When Mama Comes Home Tonight. I remember them reading it to me and their girls. That book has resonat-ed with me and with the love I have for my own children.”
THE SUCCESS
Gina emphatically expresses that she never wants another foster child to experience what she did. Because of her intense concern for foster youth, Gina determined to do something to make a difference for them. With energy and conviction, she came to CAP with fundraising ideas for foster youth who want a forever family. CAP could not refuse. With little time to pull off the first event, she kicked into high gear and came out victorious. On May 15, 2021, Gina and the Kendaia Kingz held a tremendously suc-cessful bike and car wash, raising over $2000 for CAP to continue its challenging work.
THE THEME
“I know everything I do for CAP will help spread awareness and raise money for re-sources to help another child out,” Gina proudly states. “I want my voice to be so loud for these children and the world to hear me say ‘I’m not giving up!’ Using her new-found theme—‘We’ve got your backs!’—Gina is committed to being part of the solu-tion and is planning additional events for CAP over the summer. Stay tuned!
THE GOAL
Gina graciously offered a highly paid compliment to CAP’s Executive Director, Lauri McKnight: “She is truly amazing—I love her story, her passion, and her drive. We both share these exact same feelings about foster youth. I know that CAP’s future will be even brighter and better because I’m not stopping until it is!”
Not only does Gina understand the many sides to being a foster care child, but says with great pride that she has overcome much of the past and has worked tremendously hard for a happier, loving life. She is determined to make a difference for foster youth.
Watch for upcoming events with Gina as host and promoter as she takes on a new mission in life. She won’t quit until she succeeds helping as many foster youth as pos-sible! CAP is grateful to have this “biker chic” on our side—she is a true dynamo and go-getter. Talk about SHE HUSTLES! This girl is a born hustler!
