8 minute read
AFTERNOON COCKTAIL
BY AMANDA ASHLEY I AARON WINTERS
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With a little over an hour to kill, I reloaded my car with my music gear and headed to a neighborhood establishment up the road from my home to meet my partner for a late night appetizer and nightcap.
Into the bar I walked, without a mask, and with a looming guilt as if I was doing something wrong. This had been the first evening I had spent out since all NYS Covid restrictions had been lifted. Plastic partitions, X’s on the tables, masks, were suddenly a thing of yesterday, as if everything before was like some weird, screwed up dream.
It’s almost a surreal experience just for things to feel normal again. As odd as it feels, it feels really incredible to regain such simple, social liberties.
At the bar we nestled, and put an order in with our bartender. As we were eating, an older gentleman slipped in the seat next to me. I overheard him asking the bartender for a charge for his phone. He stared down at his smartphone with a USB dangling from it’s port in disappointment. The charging block from the night before was missing, and he only had ten percent battery. I remembered that I actually had what he was looking for in my purse, but was short on time as we were just about prepared to settle out and head back home to arrive on time for our babysitter. Out of the abyss, I retrieved my charging block from
my purse and offered it to the older gentleman. He graciously accepted and we began conversing.
In the middle of our conversation, he pulled out a brand new hearing aid and placed it before us. He slid over his visit summary from U of R Medicine. He pointed to it and said “You wouldn’t believe this thing right here…”
He then picked up the paper and pointed to the original cost of the hearing aid.
He said “Just this ONE hearing aid costs THIS much.” I don’t recall the exact number, but it was just shy of $1300.
He then flipped to the last page of his medical visit summary to reveal a far smaller number, closer to $300.
Fortunately his medical insurance covered nearly a $1000 dollars of the original cost. He was both relieved and in disbelief.
I noticed his name at the top of the page, which read WALLACE, so I asked him “Do the people in your life ever refer to you as Wally?”
He told me everyone calls him Duke, and I introduced myself, and the two of us briefly continued to converse till our bill was paid and we parted ways.
My encounter with Duke made me really think about hearing and the power of listening. Hearing and listening are often associated with
one another, but both are their own entity.
We are born with two ears and one mouth, yet most of the time we only selectively hear, and talk more than we listen. Listening is fundamental to building and fostering meaningful and successful relationships, yet we more often fail to do it.
Think of what a different place the world would be if we all took the time to listen to each other’s needs and desires, and whatever else it is that the other party desires to be heard.
As humans, we naturally respond better to the people in our life when we feel acknowledged, heard and understood. Listening is that intimate connection we build in showing others that they matter. It’s what bridges our understanding of one another and is what helps us to resolve conflict in most cases.
Effective communication stemming from both hearing and listening make us better partners, better co-workers, better siblings, better parents, better mentors, better leaders, and better humans. Seize the opportunity to HEAR and acknowledge what meaningfully stands behind one’s human expression, and see how it changes how you perceive what is being said. The general company that a listening ear can provide can be more meaningful than you even imagine. for change within are telling you that it is time to grab hold of your future. Listen to your heart; what is it that you need? The happy life you deserve is on the other side of the mountain, and it’s time to climb. Pay attention to what makes your heart flutter, what genuinely shifts your mood for the better, and which people you can unapologetically be yourself and feel happiest around.
The answers are all there, you just have to quiet down, and listen; with open ears, an open heart, and an open mind.
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SHE HUSTLES TALKS WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES
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She Talks Law
SHE TALKS LAW
PHOTOS BY JENNY BERLINER PHOTOGRAPHY
Tell our readers a little bit about yourself and your background and what made you decide to start She Talks Law?
I am a corporate and real estate attorney locally. I also have a background in education law and represent a number of charter schools in the area. Throughout my career, I have been very involved in local women’s organizations. I am on the Board of Directors for the Greater Rochester Association of Women Attorneys (GRAWA), the Board of Trustees for the Young Women’s College Prep Charter School (YWCP) and I am active in the Rochester Women’s Network (RWN) and Women’s Council.
I am grateful to have been inspired by so many women throughout my life and my career. During COVID, I did some serious reflecting on my work and decided that I wanted to do something more… I wanted to give back to the fabulous women that I met along my journey and who cheered me on to get me where I am today. In addition, it is no surprise that COVID had some major impacts on business, particularly women in business.
For various pandemic related reasons, women were overwhelmingly forced to leave the work force (in fact, approximately 4 times the number of women left the work force in September 2020 compared to their male counterparts). Knowing that information, I thought about the sort of thing that I could offer that would help build the bridge for women to return to the workforce with success. I decided to then create a free legal roundtable to provide women with legal resources in areas of business and life. With that, She Talks Law was born.
What exactly is the mission behind She Talks Law?
She Talks Law is a free legal roundtable for women business owners, entrepreneurs and investors. Our mission is to celebrate, connect and champion new and seasoned local women entrepreneurs and professionals by providing ongoing legal education and resources in a collaborative and supportive setting and equip our members with the tools necessary to succeed.
What makes you hustle?
My family. I come from a long line of hustlers. My grandmother was a mother of 7 who also had numerous foster children all while taking care of the home and working. She hustled. My grandfather started his own men’s clothing store in Seneca Falls. He hustled. My father started his own private practice at a young age and was elected and re-elected as Judge in the City of Canandaigua for over 30 years. He hustled. My brother, knowing nobody, moved out to L.A. after film school to pursue his dreams. He hustles. My husband is first generation Macedonian and is a successful real estate broker and business owner. He and all of his family hustle. I am inspired by the hustlers around me.
What type of law do you practice and how do you feel this fits in with the concept behind She Talks Law? I know you just recently started STL, but how do you market this concept to your audience, and which tactics have been most successful?
She Talks Law was born during COVID and a time when we were all remote. As such, my marketing was all remote. I was never very savvy with social media… until I had to be. COVID forced me in my business to learn creative strategies in order to connect with my clients and prospective clients. I could not rely on traditional networking lunches or meeting someone at the gym. Instead, I had to learn how to use one of the most powerful tools of our time—social media. I am still not a pro, but I certainly know more than I did 1 year ago. In addition to my own social network, I set my insecurities and fears aside and reached out to women and leaders who I admire and “picked their brain.” I asked them to teach me how they got to where they are, I explained She Talks Law, and asked them for advice. Then I followed that advice. To a T! My biggest piece of advice is to put your insecurities aside and don’t be afraid to take risks. You may surprise yourself with how much you are capable of.
What was your key driving force to become a female entrepreneur, especially with being an attorney and working with small business owners?
My drive to achieve was instilled in me at a young age by my incredibly supportive parents. My parents allowed me the flexibility to be whatever I wanted to be, so long as I did something that I
