6 minute read
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
4 LIES WE TELL OURSELVES
THAT KEEP US FROM PROFESSIONAL AUTHENTICITY
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Remember when you were a kid and you played make-believe? Maybe you played ‘house’, or ‘school’. Or, like me, if you were destined for the biz life, you played ‘video store’ and pretended to rent out all of your Disney VHS tapes from your very own basement Blockbuster.
At some point we stopped playing make-believe. Life gets a little more complicated than basement Blockbuster and we have real dreams, desires, and goals that we pour our energy into. The path to achieve those goals may look something like this:
Step 1: Get good grades, so you can get into a good college. Step 2: Study hard in college so you can land an internship. Step 3: Be a great intern and land your first big girl (or boy) job. Step 4: Live happily ever after.
The thing is… we spend all that time, effort, and hard work to get to somewhere we think we want to be. But how much did you ever stop that game of make-believe, really? You hit your 20s, you’re thrown into the business world, and suddenly you’re still that kid playing make-believe, but this time you’re wearing a suit. What happened to that kid? What happened to you…the real you?
BY LINDSAY MASTROGIOVANNI
professional authenticity.
LIE #1: I don’t act ‘like a professional’
Certainly you can’t be this business professional and aspiring executive and embrace all that you did as a growing person. How could you possibly be into Blink 182, and also be an expert at recruiting? Your amp broke a long time ago and you’re too dizzy to keep riding that skateboard. Likely, you adapt. You become some version of who you think you should be to fit into this new weird world you’ve built for yourself.
I know this all too well, because I’ve spent years coaching others to embrace their full selves and foster their innate gifts at work, so they can truly practice professional authenticity.
Professional authenticity - what does that even mean? This is essentially the basis of my entire employer success theory and deserves much more time and attention than this simple definition, but here it goes:
Professional authenticity is bringing your innate gifts to the surface to communicate and execute your vision in a professional setting.
Let me give you an example of how this manifested for me personally. I lost my way for quite a while. I faked some version of who I was and avoided my reality for a very long time. As a kid, I loved all things ghostly. I had many experiences, validated and not, which led me to believe I had an intuitive gift (or curse). But, I was never really driven to explore or develop that gift, mostly because I was afraid of it, and that ‘stuff’ didn’t fit into my idea of what a ‘real life’ should look like. Spirits and a ‘real’ job? No way.
I found another passion in my young adulthood--in the big, deep, and mysterious world of Human Resources. Bit of a difference from the spirit world, no? Nevertheless, it was a passion of mine - the perfect combination of business operations and sociology. I also was just really good at it. But I find that’s the case with passion; if you are passionate, you are invested, you are dedicated, you have the want to learn and experience more. In that, inevitably, you will rock your shit.
LIE #2: Success equals happiness
I’m one of the lucky ones who found a way to foster my passion at work. This didn’t mean that I was completely and fully satisfied in every position and in every company I worked for; quite the opposite. This just meant that no matter what I was doing, I would find what drove me. What made me want to move in a forward direction. But if passion was the secret, then why wasn’t I happy?
Answer: Somewhere along the way, my authenticity dropped off the charts. I was good at what I did for a myriad of reasons, but my overwhelmingly consistent feedback was that people loved working with me because I was “genuine”. I constantly struggled with this otherwise very positive
unheard and unseen. Because that’s not what you’re supposed to do, right? That’s weird. It’s personal. And then if you knew that, maybe you won’t like me… God forbid.
LIE #3: They won’t like the real me new age business consultant, AND a psychic intuitive. Not because of, not in place of, not as a result of…but in addition to.
LIE #4: That’s not what executives do
Instead, I ignored those very loud and overwhelming messages, shoved them out of the way to focus on just the employee in my office, and would offer guidance and advice that somehow always helped the employee find their own way. All the while…I constantly seemed to be getting in my own way and becoming frustrated that something felt like it was missing.
I was fortunate enough in my career journey to find a company that values individuals and their innate gifts, and sees the value in educating employees. My personal values synced with the vision of the company. I had a supported and shared belief that when you provide a supportive environment for employees and leaders, company success will follow.
After years of soul searching, selfimprovement, and straight up being tired of faking it, I was ready to start my new, truly authentic life. I took a leap and founded Blue Moon Growth Co, and with this came my need to ‘come out of the broom closet’ and announce to the world that I’m a kick ass HR professional, a realistic and The reactions I have received after sharing this on a large scale, and becoming more confident in expressing this with new acquaintances, has been nothing less than positive, supportive, and just overall lovely. I was terrified to share this, and once I did, I immediately felt I could embrace that label of ‘genuine’, ‘authentic’, and ‘real’, instead of just sorta kinda half-way there. I also had the misconception that revealing my full self meant I had to change. I was pretty happy about my work, and how I presented myself professionally. But that authenticity piece couldn’t really truly come forward until I was not only honest with others, but ultimately with myself.
The Truth: We are all just people
Those thought leaders or business executives you follow and admire... they’re people, just like you and me. They all go home and have to call their parents. They get annoyed when someone else finishes the ice cream in the freezer. They stub their toes on furniture in their house. They used to play make-believe...maybe they still do.
And if you find yourself in the position as a thought leader or executive, don’t forget to fix the amp, throw on that old Blink182 album, dream up your next tattoo, read your emails, create your PowerPoint presentations, and run through your speaker’s notes. Maybe think twice about busting out the old skateboard, though.
Bottom line: there’s no one way to live your life, but however you choose to live it, keep it real.
