She Magazine l February/March 2009 by Kenosha News

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2009

ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE? NOT FOR THESE WOMEN PRSRT STD U.S. POSTAGE PAID COLUMBUS, WI PERMIT NO. 52

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Courage under fire

HER AY

I have heard that countless times over the years. Think about that statement for a while. What does it really mean? Is it necessarily a bad thing? In 2008 I hosted my family for Christmas as I do most every year, and I spent a lot of time (while I was cooking, serving and doing dishes) watching them interact with each other. For some reason, I felt a peace that I have never really felt before. When you grow up with three sisters — no brothers — you can imagine the personality conflicts, competition and the vying for position with mom and dad. Over the years there has been the typical three against one or two against two, and it’s always over things that make us who we are as individuals. At Christmas, I looked closely at my sisters and then out to their extended families and I realized that although we have different lifestyles and different personalities, we are family and will always be there for one another. As we sat down for dinner, I looked over the tables (there were three) and saw a psychologist, machinist, engineer, retail sales assistant, hospital clerk, newspaper sales rep., human resources recruiter, jewelry maker, custodial supervisor, school bus sales general manager, athletic trainer and soldier home on leave. I realized that although we are all different, the one thing we have in common is our love for each other. At that moment I knew that if I could pick my family members they would be the people I was looking at. I wish you and your families a very happy and successful 2009! P.S. I did get help with the cooking, serving and dishes.

Courage. When I think about that word a flurry of images emerge: soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima, Martin Luther King Jr. delivering his “I Have a Dream” speech, the lion receiving his medal in “The Wizard of Oz.” Courage can take so many forms, but it seems to me most pure when it manifests itself in everyday heroes, like those in this issue of She. Among them are the firefighters featured in our cover story. Each day on the job holds potential for new challenges, and when these women start their shifts they’re never sure what they’ll face. So they have to be prepared for it all, and they are. That’s courageous. Courageous, too, are the middle-aged women in our Kindred Spirits article, those who belong to Jeanette Stevenson’s Adventure Girls group. They share a desire to reach beyond their fears and enrich their lives by pursuing their dreams. Sounds simple when we’re young and have few responsibilities, but as we grow older we tend to set our dreams aside. When we give ourselves permission to rediscover our passions, that courageous. And then there’s Cathie DeQuaker. She wrote to me several months ago after reading our In Her Day feature, in which a woman tells readers how her mom has shaped and inspired her. Only Cathie wanted to tell us about her daughters. I’d never considered In Her Day from that angle, but Cathie’s story so captured my heart that I felt compelled to present her voice on our pages. For 13 years Cathie was married to an alcoholic, and like many women she felt trapped by her circumstances while convinced she could change her husband. She couldn’t, and in the meantime her children suffered. Much of the last 20 years have been painful, marked by alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide — the kind of things most families keep secret. Today Cathie is remarried to a wonderful man and her children, now grown, are an inspiration to her. The turnaround — in particular that of her daughter Tina — serves as a testament to the power of hope and love and perseverance. Cathie has come forward to share her story hoping others will learn from her experiences. Now that’s courageous.

Lani Renneau She managing director

Kathleen Troher She editor

LETTERS FROM THE EDITORS

Family indeed You can pick your friends … but you can’t pick your family.

She

MISSION TATEMENT

She is a trailblazer. A nurturer. A guide. She is the first magazine for, by and about southeast Wisconsin women. She embodies the women featured on her pages. Women striving to balance work, family and community commitments. Women improving themselves and those around

them physically, spiritually, intellectually. Women giving their all while maintaining their sense of self. Women finding themselves by losing their fears. Versatile. Diverse. Empowered. She is making a difference. She is you.

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“There is life after breast cancer!” -TER R ECE CR AW FOR D

FAC I N G A B R E A S T C A N C E R DI AG N O S I S ?

Breast Cancer Survivor, TER R ECE CR AWFOR D, is a warrior! She was confident during treatment knowing she had a dedicated team that included an oncologist, oncoplastic surgeon and a nutritionist working together for her and with her. No case is typical. You should not expect to experience these results.

Surround yourself with a multidisciplinary team of cancer experts, and comprehensive treatment. Cancer Treatment Centers of America® a (CTCA) at Midwestern Regional Medical Center provides individualized and advanced medical treatment options with scientifically-supported complementary therapies. CTCA integrates nutritional support, naturopathic solutions, proactive pain management, rehabilitation services, mind-body medicine, and spiritual support with conventional treatment for the finest quality-of-care, designed to provide the best quality-of-life during treatment.

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EVENTS & ADVISORY BOARD

You’re invited ...

e are planning our one-year anniversary issue of She and would like to include our readers’ reflections. In an e-mail, please tell us what you think about the magazine. Did you have a favorite story? Did any of our She subjects touch your heart in a special way or motivate you to pursue a new challenge? Is there one regular feature you turn to first, or something you’ve clipped from our pages to mail to a friend? If so, please let us know, and make sure to include your name, the city or town in which you live and a way for us to contact you. We’ll give you a call to schedule a photo to accompany your words, which will appear in our June/July issue. You can e-mail your response to she@kenoshanews.com.

Fay Akindes

Pam Carper

University of Wisconsin-Parkside director of the Center for Ethnic Studies

Women and Children’s Horizons assistant executive director

Paula J. Clark

Jayne Herring

Kenosha County Aging and Disability Resource Center community outreach coordinator

Gateway Technical College director of marketing and communications

Adelene Greene

Diane Kastelic

Kenosha County director of workforce development

Crista Kruse United Way of Kenosha County community impact director

Monica Yuhas Pleasant Prairie trustee

Kenosha Unified School District library media teacher consultant

Consuelo Bridgeman Hispanic Educational Resource Motivating and Navigating Academic Success mentor and adviser

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he magazine would not be what it is without guidance and support from its 10-member Advisory Board. These are women from the community who have helped shape the magazine by providing their insight and recommendations. These women offered initial input as we created the outline for She, and they will meet with us periodically to ensure we’re on the right track. But that is the extent of the contribution we expected. Readers should contact She staff members, not Advisory Board members, should they have questions about content, advertising or subscriptions.

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STAFF & SHE NEEDS Managing director Lani Renneau Editor Kathleen Troher

If you would like to have She mailed to your home, please complete the order form below. A $15 annual subscription rate applies.

Design director Brian Sharkey Assistant design director Julie Vander Velden Photo editor Kevin Poirier Editorial assistant Kathy Pfaffle

Clip and mail to:

Web site coordinator Terry Maraccini

She c/o Kenosha News 5800 7th Ave. Kenosha, WI 53140

or call

1-800-292-2700

Advertising: Patti Clausen, pclausen@kenoshanews.com, (262) 656-6231 Marketing: Raechel Tudjan, rtudjan@kenoshanews.com, (262) 656-6353 To purchase photos: Visit our Web site at www.she-magazine.com Published by the Kenosha News 5800 Seventh Ave. Kenosha, WI 53140 Main phone: (262) 657-1000; Toll free: (800) 292-2700 Web site: www.she-magazine.com © 2008 by the Kenosha News, a division of United Communications Corporation. All rights reserved.

She wants you She magazine is looking for women to be featured in upcoming issues. If any of the subjects below interest you, please send an e-mail to she@kenoshanews.com. Be sure to tell us how we can contact you. > Are you a teacher with years of classroom stories to tell? Why did you go into the profession? What are your most heartwarming moments, your favorite snafus, your advice to others pursuing careers in teaching? Tell us your tales and maybe you’ll be included in our end-of-the-school-year article. > Do you and your sister work in the same field or share an unusual hobby? Or are you complete opposites who love each other despite your differences? Tell us about your special sibling relationship. > Eating disorders are more widely discussed publicly today, but so many people remain in the dark about their causes and devastating effects. In an effort to help people with eating disorders, we are searching for women who are willing to talk about their struggles — the signs, the symptoms and their road to recovery. > Do you feel passionately about the activities you enjoy, the books that shape you, the everyday philosophies that guide how you live your life? Share them with our readers by answering the questions in the My Favorite Things feature (see Pages 37 to 39). > Are you and your husband an outgoing, fun, confident couple? Consider becoming the subject of our She and He feature (see page 51), in which we ask spouses a series of questions to better understand the similarities and differences between men and women. > Is there a female relative in your life — your mother, grandmother, aunt — who has been an inspiration to you? We want to know the many ways this role model has encouraged and supported you. This woman must be available to pose for a photo with you for our In Her Day feature (see Page 54).

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TABLE OF CONTENTS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2009

BODY AND SOUL 13

FEATURE STORY

SHE’S STEPPING OUT

Your Health: What you need to know about inflammatory breast cancer

40 PHOTOGRAPH BY TIMOTHY STEIN

Racine firefighter Leslie Ehlert, foreground, administers oxygen to an accident victim on Dec. 3, 2008, as firefighter Sue Palubicki, far right, helps set up extrication equipment with her colleagues.

Full-time female firefighters 30 They’re on the front lines alongPHOTOGRAPH BY BILL SIEL

Three for Me: Improving your life physically, emotionally, intellectually

Kindred Spirits: Jeanette Stevenson encourages women to pursue their dreams

Volunteer opportunities: What you can

side their male colleagues, making their communities safer by battling blazes and administering emergency medical care to accident victims. But male or female, it takes a special grit to make firefighting a full-time career. Find out why these five women — four on the Racine Fire Department and one on the Kenosha Fire Department — answered the call.

Debbi Spino of Kenosha race walks outside on a wintry day. If conditions are too icy outside, she recommends walking indoors.

PHOTOGRAPH BY SEAN KRAJACIC

During the week, sisters Dana, left, and Regan Goodsell live and work in Chicago. But on the weekends they return to Racine County where they grew up and they run their boutique, Elegant Pauper, on Main Street in downtown Racine.

Hidden Gem: The Elegant Pauper

Getaway: Take a trip to the Fireside Theatre in Fort Atkinson

Events Calendar: What’s happening, when and where

Out and About: Faces in places you know

Theonita “Thea” Cox of the Kenosha Fire Department (inset) joins Racine firefighters (from top) Cynthia White, Randee Venne, Leslie Ehlert and Sue Palubicki who answered our call.

SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT

do to help

51 She and He: Spouses

DEFINING SUCCESS 21 A Woman of Substance: Yolanda Santos Adams builds a career by putting others first

23 Business feature: Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative helps business owners with loans, classes, encouragement

26 Women, Wisdom and Wealth: Surviving these trying financial times

28 One to Watch: Who’s climbing the career ladder?

SHE’S GOT STYLE 37 My Favorite Things: Music, movies, books, clothes, what’s near and dear to her heart?

answer questions about themselves and each other

52 Liz Out Loud: Elizabeth Snyder puts Valentine’s Day romance into perspective

54 In Her Day: A

tribute from Mom SHE l Feb/Mar 2009 l 11

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BODY & OUL HEALTH | THREE FOR ME | KINDRED SPIRITS

The signs of IBC:

Inflammatory breast cancer is rare, aggressive disease

By Kris Kochman Inflammatory breast cancer is a rare form of breast cancer, but it is also one of the most aggressive forms of the disease. Women should be aware of signs of the disease so it can be detected without delay, according to medical specialists. Inflammatory breast cancer — or IBC — accounts for only 1 to 3 percent of all breast cancer cases, according to Lori Van Horn, breast care coordinator

HEALTH for Aurora Medical Center in Kenosha. She said the disease appears as a sudden rash on the breast, sometimes accompanied by warmth, itchiness and swelling. The skin may take on the texture of an orange peel, with a thick, bumpy surface. Unlike many other forms of breast cancer, IBC typically doesn’t take the form of a lump or mass in the breast and therefore often is not detected by a mammogram, the most common screening test for breast cancer. IBC develops when cancer cells block the lymph system, causing the breast to swell, Van Horn said. “Symptoms can come on suddenly,” she said. “Women tend to think it’s a new soap or a new bra (causing irritation).” The symptoms of IBC are similar to mastitis — a very treatable breast infection. In its early stages, inflammatory breast cancer often is mistaken for a breast infection, according to information from the American Cancer Society and the Mayo Clinic. Both conditions involve redness, swelling and pain, but breast infections are more common during breast-

PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN POIRIER

Lori Van Horn is breast care coordinator for Aurora Medical Center in Kenosha. She said that inflammatory breast cancer accounts for only about 1 to 3 percent of breast cancer cases. Because it is relatively uncommon, many women don’t know much about inflammatory breast cancer. feeding. Breast infections also usually include a fever, which is unusual with IBC. Van Horn said women need to see their health care providers as soon as possible if they notice these sudden changes. She explained that IBC isn’t characterized by a little patch of redness — usually most of the breast is red and inflamed. “After a couple of days, if it continues to swell or there’s pain, it’s absolutely necessary

to get in to your provider,” Van Horn said. “Do not hesitate. Call your doctor.” IBC tends to occur in a slightly younger population than other forms of breast cancer. The average age of diagnosis is 52 to 57, according to information from the American Cancer Society. African American women appear to be at a higher risk for the disease. IBC typically is diagnosed through a biopsy: a small sam-

ple of breast tissue is removed and a pathologist looks for cancer cells using a microscope. Because IBC is so aggressive, treatment typically is also aggressive. Van Horn said treatment often involves an initial dose of chemotherapy — strong cancer-fighting drugs — to slow the disease, followed by a mastectomy, which is surgery to remove the cancerous breast. Radiation and hormonal therapy also might be recommended following the surgery. Although mammograms may not catch IBC, Van Horn emphasized the importance of the screening test to find more common forms of breast cancer. Van Horn said women should continue to follow guidelines for mammograms, established by the American Cancer Society. Those guidelines recommend yearly mammograms for women age 40 and older. Van Horn said women with a family history of breast cancer should talk to their physician about additional cancer screenings. The American Cancer Society reports that IBC tends to have a greater chance of spreading and a worse outlook than typical invasive ductal or lobular breast cancer. Survival rates for IBC are lower than those for other advanced cases of breast cancer. However, new treatments now offer greats odds for survival of the disease, the Mayo Clinic reports. The exact cause of inflammatory breast cancer is unknown. Van Horn emphasized that early detection and treatment is the best way to combat all forms of breast cancer. A woman and her doctor should work as a team, she said. “Be informed of your own health,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to ask questions.” SHE l Feb/Mar 2009 l 13

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V nea cou diffe

The right track

“V for con tion to s Chi

Champion race walker offers fitness advice

ers, mak tine tica spin pec and spa into

PHOTOGRAPH BY BILL SIEL

Debbi Spino, of Kenosha, competed as a race walker in the Olympics in 1992, 1996 and 2000. Today her mission is to educate people — particularly women and children — about exercise and healthy eating.

o start a walking program you need two things: a heartrate monitor and a good pair of shoes. That tip comes from Kenosha resident Debbi Spino, 47, who knows what she’s talking about. As a race walker, she competed in the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona, the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta and the 2000 Olympics in Australia. She holds a world record in race walking, which she earned in 1993. Today, her mission is to educate people — particularly women and children — about exercise and healthy eating. “I totally believe you can get fit through exercise,” said Spino, who attended Bradford High School in Kenosha, Gateway Technical College and the University of Wisconsin-Parkside. “But exercise won’t make you healthy. You have to take in good food to be healthy.” Spino makes presentations

to corporate and school groups, sharing the fitness lessons she has learned over the last three decades. Among her advice for women: stay away from processed foods and eat several small meals each day. Some experts suggest that eating every few hours stabilizes blood glucose levels and metabolism. Starving to lose weight is never a good idea because the body stores calories as a defense mechanism if it thinks it is in danger of starvation. Additionally, if unhealthy foods are available, hungry people are more likely to reach for them to fill that emptiness quickly, thus causing a spike in blood sugar. Spino generally eats five small meals each day, with at least one of them being a nutritious shake. To put together one of her favorite shakes she combines peanut butter, nuts, oats and organic milk, adding

in protein powder sometimes. Fiber is important, said Spino, who makes sure to get at least 30 grams per day. In order to ensure she’s getting all the right vitamins and essential minerals, she takes the liquid supplement Vemma. (She also is a distributor of the product.) As far as exercise, Spino encourages women to take up weight training, which she does every other day. “As we get older we lose muscle, and you need muscle to burn fat,” Spino said. “Weight training will help you burn fat and it will contribute to bone strength. And once you start doing it you’ll see more toning in your body. So you’re toning the muscle, which increases your metabolism, which burns more fats. It’s all a cycle.” Spino encourages women to use heart-rate monitors when walking to set a pace for optimal

THREE FOR ME

fat burning. (Various formulas for determining your optimal fat-burning heart rate are available in books and online.) Spino said walking should make women feel exhilarated, not exhausted. And when starting a fitness program, she said it’s good to have a goal. For a long time, her goal was the Olympics. For other women, it’ll be something else, like wanting to feel better, or losing those extra pounds packed on during the holidays. “Maybe you want to be able to fit in that bathing suit by April,” Spino said. “Whatever it is, that motivation can’t come from someone else. It has to come from within.” Spino expected to have her Web site up and running by mid-January, which is when this issue of She went to print. The address for the site is www. fitnesswalkers.com. To reach Spino, call (262) 412-9442. — Kathleen Troher

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It cab long cold Som mak we not tha F blue for ous sea is a sev D chia Cen son a la slee swe hop gy, t exp a lo the con info the carb S

New ways to say ‘I love you’ Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to express your fondness for those near and dear to you with heart-shaped cards, romantic verses and, of course, chocolate. The following books may give you some new and different ways to say “I love you.” “Valentine Treats: Recipes and Crafts for the Whole Family,” by Sara Perry, contains dozens of ideas for cards, decorations, gifts, menus and treats you can make to show affection for valentines of any age. Children can help with many of the crafts, like making burst-a-bubble painted paper or heart-toheart garlands. The recipes are for foods both sweet and savory: cookies, cakes, truffles, scones, pancakes, appetizers, even dog treats. There are directions for making “love potions” for your adult valentines and menus ranging from the sophisticated — filet mignon with four butters, spinach salad with pear, gorgonzola and pecans, potatoes with garlic and rosemary and bergamot panna cotta — to kid-friendly spaghetti sauce, served atop pasta formed into the shape of a heart.

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It’s not unusual to experience cabin fever during Wisconsin’s long winters. It’s almost always cold and often icy outside. Sometimes the sun doesn’t make an appearance for days. If we don’t have other obligations, nothing seems more appealing than napping and snacking. For most people, these winter blues are a passing phase, but for others they can signal a serious medical problem known as seasonal affective disorder. This is a form of depression that can severely impair daily life. Dr. Vanessa Chang, a psychiatrist with Aurora Medical Center, said symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include a lack of motivation or energy, sleeping more and craving sweets. Along with feelings of hopelessness, anxiety or lethargy, those who suffer from it may experience social withdrawal, a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, difficulty concentrating and processing information or weight gain as they fill up on foods high in carbohydrates. Specific causes are unknown,

This review was written by Linda Marcussen, a reference librarian for the Kenosha Public Library. For more library information, call (262) 564-6100, go to www.mykpl.info, or visit one of the library branches: Simmons, 711 59th Place; Southwest, 7979 38th Ave.; Northside, 1500 27th Ave.; Uptown, 2419 63rd St.

but some experts suspect reduced levels of sunlight disrupt the circadian rhythm, which helps regulate the body’s internal clock. Disrupting the clock can cause the disorder. Other experts believe the disorder could be tied to an increase in melatonin, a hormone that is linked to depression. Others pin the blame on a drop in serotonin, caused by reduced sunlight. Serotonin is a brain chemical that affects mood. It can be difficult to diagnose the disorder because it’s not uncommon for people to experience some of the many symptoms. But Chang said if the symptoms are interfering with the ability to function, it might be time to seek a professional opinion. Treatment for the disorder can include antidepressants or psychotherapy. Counseling can be useful, Chang said, as patients are encouraged to set daily goals. And many people find relief with light therapy. People can purchase light therapy boxes, which mimic outdoor light. The theory is that the light will cause a biochemical change that will relieve symptoms. — Kathleen Troher

710401

SIEL

and

Winter SADness

It’s important to have just the right words to include in one of those beautiful handmade cards, and you may find the perfect expression of your feelings in “The 100 Best Love Poems of All Time,” edited by Leslie Pockell. It contains “timeless verses of passion and romance, from old favorites to modern classics…”

The Kenosha Public Library has more than 40 cookbooks featuring chocolate, but in “ChocolateChocolate,” by Lisa Yockelson, even the photos look good enough to eat. There are almost 200 recipes to choose from, although you may not get past the first 18 pages of brownies. Any goodie in this book would be a fabulous Valentine’s Day treat, however, do give serious consideration to peanut fudge turtle torte and bittersweet chocolate truffle squares.

If all this ardor gets to be a bit too saccharine or schmaltzy and you want something to counteract it, read (or, better yet, listen to) “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love,” by Jill Conner Browne. The author, Boss of the SPQs (Sweet Potato Queens), serves up generous portions of southernfried wit, wisdom and advice about love, life and men in her clear-eyed, tell-it-like-it-is style. She’s a self-proclaimed expert on nearly everything, and what she doesn’t know she still has an opinion about and she will cheerfully share it with you. Boy howdy, will she.

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Adventure Girls pursue their dreams By Sara Rae Lancaster “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Fate seemed to have a hand in life coach Jeanette Stevenson stumbling across a book that opened with this quote,

KINDRED SPIRITS as it perfectly defined the mission of her group, Adventure Girls. That book was “You Can Do It: The Merit Badge Handbook for Grown-Up Girls,” by Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas. Acting as a sort of guidebook, it encourages women to fearlessly pursue their dreams, from something as simple as taking a really good photograph to larger endeavors, such as becoming your own boss. “I saw the book in a magazine and cut it out. I put it away thinking it would be great to do with others,” said Stevenson, of Kenosha. “The reason it hit me was because I had lost a very dear friend in the Sept. 11 attacks, and this book was written by a woman who was killed on Sept. 11. The book was actually finished by, her sisters.” Stevenson later picked up a copy of the book, and while reading it she discovered that its principles closely aligned with her own dream. “The dream of, is it possible for women

to come together in a community, learn from each other, celebrate each other, support each other, and all the while hold each other accountable?” Stevenson said. “The answer has been a big, “Yes!” That “yes” came in 2006 in the form of Adventure Girls, a group of women who want to challenge themselves in a fun, non-threatening environment. The women mainly are from Kenosha, with some from Racine and Pleasant Prairie. “My passion is people — more specifically women. I’ve always had the desire to help women see the strengths and gifts they have,” said Stevenson, who bases her life coaching philosophy on the idea that she doesn’t hold the answers. “I don’t know your answers,” she said. “But what I do have are a lot of awesome questions to help you discover who you are.” Whether that self-discovery comes in the form of individual life coaching sessions at Stevenson’s business, Point of You, or through Adventure Girls, Stevenson helps women achieve their full potential through action-focused activities. As members of Adventure Girls, women attend eight meetings, each focusing on one of the “adventure” categories listed in the book. These categories are:

Adventure Girls member Kit Mader jumps on a trampoline, above, as other members spot her at Stunts Are Us in Kenosha. The group is made up primarily of women who live in Kenosha, with some from Racine and Pleasant Prairie.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY KEVIN POIRIER

Adventure Girls coach Jeanette Stevenson, foreground, encourages the women in her group to face their fears, which is something the members behind her are doing as they jump from heights onto crash pads at Stunts Are Us in Kenosha. dare, create, learn, play, deal, connect and dream. Each adventure category features various challenges, or “badges,” a woman can earn with

support from her accountability partner. Adventure Girls member Eileen Anderson, of Kenosha, immediately realized the benefits

of an accountability partner. “I mentioned to my partner, ‘Oh, I’d really like to earn the aviation badge,’” Anderson recalled. “She looked at me and said, ‘Well, my husband’s a pilot and has a plane, so that’s going to happen for you.” Since then, not only has Anderson flown a plane, she has completed two triathlons, went parasailing and experienced rock climbing. As a group, Adventure Girls have tried silk painting, glass blowing, belly dancing, scrapbooking, cooking, acting and yoga. During an outing to Stunts Are Us in Kenosha last fall, the women jumped various heights ranging from 3 feet to 10 feet. “The event was about facing fears. Really, it was about facing two > Page 18 SHE l Feb/Mar 2009 l 17

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> Adventure, from 17

levels of fear — the fear of jumping from a high place and the ability to trust women you just met,” Anderson said. Stevenson recorded the entire event. “When I watched, what stuck out to me was the person performing the stunts, and seeing their face as they looked out at a group of women cheering them on,” Stevenson said. That sense of encouraging camaraderie is what hooked Kenosha resident Juliette Dages. Dages said she had experienced many adventures before becoming an Adventure Girls member. Already having those life experiences allowed her to focus on the group’s other benefits, such as the friendship and networking. “There are so many different strengths within the group. Those who have lived in the area longer than I have, for instance, might know of a great place to take a hike or go wine tasting,” Dages said. “It’s just another great way to get to know the resources of the area.” Sometimes the best learning opportunities come from unstructured activities. When a few women expressed an

interest in container gardening, Dages, who has a background in horticulture, invited the women to her home for an informal gardening clinic. Many of the women agree that the extra opportunities to connect keep them coming back for more. “With the responsibilities of family and work, women don’t have the opportunity to meet and develop relationships with a group a women like this,” Anderson said. “It’s been a life-changing experience.” Stevenson hopes it is an experience more women can share. Currently, three states, including Wisconsin, have an Adventure Girls group. It is Stevenson’s goal to have Adventure Girls in every state. Until then, she’s content with the joy the current groups are bringing women. “Most everything I do is about giving back,” she said. “That’s very important to me. And this has been very gratifying,” Women interested in Adventure Girls or in Stevenson’s other life coaching services, can contact her at Jeanette@ pointofyou.biz or (262) 496-0384, or visit www. pointofyou.biz.

items for our troops overseas, bake Name: Betty Kriederman of Kenocookies for our project at Christmas sha for the Dayton Residential Center. I Organizations for which I volam a past vice president and presiunteer: dent of our Kenosha Life Member > YMCA. My husband, Bob, and I both have been course marshals at various rac- Club and attend the monthly board meetings. es such as Firecracker > Keep Kenosha Five and triathlons. We Beautiful. I’ve been do various office duties on the commission like filing and clearing since June 2003 out end-of-the-year and we meet once a records. We help serve month at City Hall. food at events, do I help arrange our set-up for Food, Folks spring breakfast for and Spokes, and we our Adopt-A-Spot plant and maintain gardeners, set up two flower beds at the and work in our tent downtown branch. We at Arts and Flowwere named Voluners, International teers of the Year in Coastal Clean-up, 2006. Tall Ships, BlooThe people we’ve min’ Days, and met through the have helped plant YMCA are great and flowers. We work at always make us feel getting volunteers appreciated. signed up to help > AT&T Piobeautify Kenosha neers. This is a and educate people very active and on anti-litter. community-minded PHOTOGRAPH BY BILL SIEL Betty Kriederman of Kenosha volunWhy I volunteer: club of retirees of teers for three organizations: YMCA, I really enjoy being AT&T. My husband AT&T Pioneers and Keep Kenosha involved with these and I are both Beautiful. She is pictured here out- three organizations. retirees and enjoy side Kenosha’s downtown YMCA. I’ve met so many the company of our new friends at the former co-workers. I am the project leader who arranges YMCA and with Keep Kenosha Beautiful. My involvement with the AT&T our monthly club meetings and our Pioneers keeps me in touch with annual picnic in June. We do Adoptformer co-workers and their spouses. I A-Highway; distribute clothing, food enjoy the physical activity and instant and toys for Holiday House; ring results of a cleaned-up highway or a bells for Salvation Army; provide planted flower bed. There’s personal school supplies for our Teacher’s satisfaction knowing you’re doing Treasure Chest; and distribute dicsome good for our environment or tionaries for all third graders at four helping someone out. I’m certainly not schools. At our monthly meetings we alone in doing this. Kenosha is a betcollect food for Shalom Center, make ter place because of all its volunteers. donations for its soup kitchen, buy

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VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Thinking about donating some of your time or talents to those in need? Consider the following volunteer opportunities in your area. WALWORTH/RACINE/KENOSHA COUNTIES Aurora Visiting Nurse Association of Wisconsin The Aurora Visiting Nurse Association Hospice and Palliative Care program needs caring and dependable volunteers. Volunteers are needed in Walworth, Kenosha and Racine counties to assist hospice patients and their families. Volunteer opportunities include allowing caregivers a chance to get out of the house, chatting with patients and helping out at the office. Medical training is not required, just a desire to share time and talents. Those unsure about becoming hospice volunteers still are welcome to attend training. The association also has a special program available for “professional volunteers.” These are people — such as massage therapists, beauticians, social workers, attorneys, music and pet therapists — who are willing to share their skills. The next orientation and training is Feb. 7 and 14 from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Aurora Visiting Nurse Association of Wisconsin office in Lake Geneva. For more information, call Mary Stenzel at (262) 249-5860 or 1-800-6445860 or e-mail vna.volunteer@aurora. org KENOSHA/KENOSHA COUNTY The Boys & Girls Club of Kenosha Volunteers needed to share hobbies or talents. Ideas include teaching a knitting class, reading with a child, or running a soccer clinic. The club also needs volunteers to work with youth as mentors, coaches and referees. For more information, call the Boys & Girls Club at (262) 654-6200 ext. 127. Women and Children’s Horizons The Mission of Women and Children’s Horizons is to provide support, education, training, and healing for victims of sexual and domestic violence/abuse. On Call Advocates — Volunteers work directly with victims and families, providing information, support and referral for follow-up to victims, family members and friends. Shelter Advocates — Assist staff in support services to shelter residents. Responsibilities include teaching nutrition, child care, answering telephone, gathering and giving information, giving referrals.

Special Event Help — Throughout the year Women and Children’s Horizons participates in outreach events. Information is shared at churches, health fairs, parades, the County Fair, vigils, sexual assault awareness month (April), and domestic violence awareness month (October). Volunteers also are needed to help with major fundraising events throughout the year. Training for Advocate positions — A required 26-hour training program is provided by Women and Children’s Horizons. For more information about Women and Children’s Horizons, call volunteer coordinator Linda Baumeister at (262) 656-3500 ext. 102. RACINE/RACINE COUNTY Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast Mailing volunteer: Assist with mailings, copying, collating, labeling, etc. Call Mary Schulz at (262) 598-0909. Ellsworth Correctional Center Tutors: Assist female offenders assigned to school with GED preparation. Tutoring can occur one-on-one or in small groups. Call Margaret Done at (262) 878-6000. Love Inc. Food pantry helpers: Assist customers during food pantry hours, restock shelves, make freezer bags. Call Candy Kuehl at (262) 763-6226. Sexual Assault Services Sexual assault advocate: Answer 24-hour crisis line via mobile phone for victims of sexual assault, respond to hospital when a victim presents for a forensic exam; provide crisis intervention, emotional support and referrals. Call Samantha Sustachek at (262) 619-1634. LAKE GENEVA/WALWORTH COUNTY Walworth County Literacy Council Volunteers needed to teach English (English as a Second Language or Adult Basic Education). Volunteer tutors teach in public locations around Walworth County, usually public libraries. The council also has started a Jail Literacy Program in the Walworth County Jail. The Literacy Council also is seeking to start a fundraising committee envisioned as a group of individuals developing fundraising initiatives to support the work of the council. For more information, contact Walworth County Literacy Council coordinator Brigette Kutschma at (262) 957-0142 or wclc@walworthcoliteracy.com. If you have a volunteer opportunity you would like to see listed, e-mail information to she@kenoshanews.com. Include the name of the organization, the volunteer opportunity, responsibilities and a contact name and number.

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DEFINING UCCESS A WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE | WOMEN, WISDOM & WEALTH | ONE TO WATCH

Working for a better world Urban League president excels at inspiring others Yolanda Santos Adams is the chief executive officer and president of the Urban League of Racine and Kenosha Inc. A Kenosha resident, she has built a career with her tenacity, accountability, creativity, inspiration and vision. PHOTOGRAPH BY SEAN KRAJACIC

By Terry Flores

olanda Santos Adams always has looked at something and wondered how, or if, it could be done better. And her optimism manifests itself in a variety of ways. It could be as simple as meeting with shift workers, encouraging them to give to the United Way. Or it could be as daunting as challenging racism, advocating for the needs of black and Hispanic children to close the minority achievement gap in education. The chief executive officer and president of the Urban League of Racine and Kenosha Inc., Adams, 55, of Kenosha, has built a career with her tenacity, accountability, creativity, inspiration and vision. Urban League, a non-profit group serving hundreds of low-income residents, trains people, helps them find jobs (many for the first time) and shows youth options better than the ones their friends have died for on the streets. For Adams, their success is her success. She understands how the deck is stacked against her clients, but she also knows what it takes to beat the odds. It takes

family, community, a disciplined work ethnic, and giving back. “I’ve always helped because I felt needed,” Adams said. Born in San Antonio, Texas, in 1953, the fourth of nine children, Adams is the daughter of Joseph Santos Sr., 92, of Kenosha, and his late wife, Raquel. When Adams was 2 she and her family moved to Wisconsin, her dad working two jobs while her mother stayed home to raise the children. Educated in Kenosha schools, Adams was always an “A” student, but she was unable to complete her senior year in high school after her parents split for a brief time, her mother moving the kids to Texas. When her parents reunited, Adams obtained her high school equivalency and earned a clerk-typist certificate and an associate degree in accounting from Gateway Technical College. She held jobs from cashier at a pool hall, where she met her husband (the two are now divorced, but remain “best friends”), to executive secretary at the former American Motors and at Naval Training Center, Great Lakes, Ill.

Continuing up the career ladder, she was an accountant for Outboard Marine Corp. and took classes at night acquiring her bachelor’s degree from Carthage College in 1997. In the meantime, she raised three children, Miguel, Sheena and Andre, spending the last decade as a single mother. Her involvement in non-profits like the Spanish Center in Kenosha and the former branch in Racine led to numerous other community leadership positions, including with schools. Before she was laid off from now defunct Outboard Marine, she won the first of two terms on the Kenosha Unified School Board in 1999. Her victory came as the community was seeking to change the political landscape and the educational culture for black and Hispanic children. Faced with dismal graduation rates, especially among black males, Adams along with the Rev. Olen Arrington, the first black resident ever elected to the school board, brought attention to closing the achievement gap. An NAACP member who simultaneously served as the president of

A WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE

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In her own words As a mentor, what would you tell someone about how to succeed? Show commitment and good work ethics — have near-perfect attendance, be on time, stay honest and loyal and work the extra hours needed to get the job done. I have practiced this my entire career and always have been a valued employee. How do you live your life to the fullest? Outside of my 35 years of volunteering on boards and committees, I stay culturally connected by helping out at Mexican fiestas during the summer months and frequently flying to Dallas, San Antonio, New York and Washington, D.C. I enjoy my weekends because I work such long hours during the week. What gadget could you not live without and why? A computer and the Internet. I watch very little Yolanda Santos Adams television, but I spend hours typing correspondence and sending e-mails. What do you do when no one is looking? I revert back to the little Tejana girl inside of me and leave the career woman behind. Some people try to put me and my career accomplishments on a pedestal when I’m not really “all that.” I’m really just the same Yolanda from back in my high school days; still only 5 feet tall and still fighting the world. I’m not as large as some people try to paint me. What is your favorite word? “Mother” in memory of my mother, Raquel Santos, who died in 1987 at the age of 64. In remembrance of her, I try to be the best mom I can for my children; just like she was to me and my eight siblings. She was my best friend, and I hope that when I pass on my children will remember me in the same way. If given the chance, what would you do differently? I would have gone to college immediately after high school rather than marry young. I regret that I waited until after I was married with children to continue my education. Although I earned a bachelor’s degree from Carthage College, I believe I would have pursued a graduate degree and beyond had I not waited so long and had so many other obligations.

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the local council for the League of United Latin American Citizens, Adams pushed for greater accountability for bilingual programs. Both were subject to federal civil rights interventions that led to needed reforms. While she reluctantly admits to a case of “superwoman syndrome,” Adams derives her energy from others who laid the groundwork for people like her. Adams’ mother was her touchstone and example of parental involvement. “My mom was active. She went to all our school plays. My mom went everywhere. She walked everywhere because she didn’t drive,” Adams said. “Because of her, we were all in band, all of us played an instrument. I played the flute.” After Adams’ mother died, Kenosha activist Irene Santos kept Adams grounded in her roots. Santos (no relation) often

calls to her “community conscience” and is her inspiration, helping people who have nothing. Thelma Orr — the late civil rights activist in Kenosha and Racine, Kenosha Urban League’s former beloved director and a Racine resident — guided Adams, believing her activist apprentice could take her knowledge and experience to the next level. Little did Adams know she eventually would lead the organization Orr helped establish in Kenosha, giving youth educational, employment and scholarship opportunities. But it’s like anything else Adams’ has done to make things better. Often the go-to person for fundraising at various jobs, including the one she currently holds, she never has settled for less. “I think it’s because I know how to get people to give,” she said. “And ... it’s got to be one-onone. You have to talk to people face-to-face. I love doing that.”

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Delilah Souter, right, speaks with resident Patricia Vinson. Thanks to loans she received from Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative, Souter operates Graceful Aging Inc., an alternative to nursing homes for older adults with unique needs. She has 50 employees working in her six assisted living homes from Caledonia to Sturtevant. PHOTOGRAPH BY BILL SIEL

WWBIC is:

Business is good ... ... thanks to the Wisconsin Women’s Initiative By Kathleen Troher One particularly exhausting 12-hour work day changed nurse Delilah Souter’s life. Racing all day from one issue that needed her attention to another in the geriatric unit she was in charge of, she found herself giving her elderly patients less than the whole-hearted attention she felt they deserved. “I didn’t know my patients. I didn’t have time to connect with them, to make them feel they were listened to,” Souter said. “That’s not what I wanted. It wasn’t what I signed up for.” Frustrated, she went home and unloaded on her friends and husband, telling them if she won the lottery she would open her own nursing home where she and those who worked for her would take care of people the way they should be taken care of: with dignity, with compassion, with the personal care

they deserved. The next day her husband asked if she was serious, and after confirming that she was, the determined Sturtevant woman began building a foundation under her dream. That was in May 2007. Today Souter operates Graceful Aging Inc., an alternative to nursing homes for older adults with unique needs. She has 50 employees working in her six assisted living homes from Caledonia to Sturtevant. She can care for up to four people in each home. Business is going so well (at this writing she had only two openings for residents) that Souter intends to expand into Kenosha and Milwaukee counties during the next 12 months, and she’s looking for an eight- to 10-bed facility for elderly residents who are a little higher functioning than those now living in her homes. Among her residents are people with Alzheimer’s disease,

Parkinson’s disease, heart failure, diabetes, traumatic brain injury and developmental disabilities. They are at least 50 years old. These are people who are unable to live alone. All of them either did live in nursing homes or would have been heading to them if not for Graceful Aging Inc. Souter believes aging should be embraced. “I feel it’s a privilege to take care of people at the end of life,” Souter said. “I have a love for nursing and a love for the elderly. With my business, I’m able to combine the two.” None of this would have been possible if not for loans Souter obtained from the southeastern office of Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative Corp. (WWBIC). Initially she received a $40,000 loan, then, six months later, she obtained another $50,000. Graceful Aging is one of hun-

The Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative Corp. It provides hands-on assistance to business owners through classes, one-on-one assistance and access to capital through direct lending programs.

WWBIC assists: Women and men throughout Wisconsin; start-up businesses; growing businesses. Assistance provided includes loan services, business financing seminars and business assistance programs.

For more information: WWBIC’s Kenosha office is at 600 52nd St., suite 130. It is shared with the Kenosha Chamber of Commerce. Call (262) 654-1234 ext. 114 or go to www. wwbic.com.

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PHOTOGRAPH BY BILL SIEL

Johnette Feekes, of Trevor, was the first client to receive a loan from Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative’s southeastern Wisconsin office. She and her husband, Jess, needed the money to open Nonni’s Italian Bistro and Bar, 12015 Antioch Road, in Trevor.

dreds of businesses in the state launched with assistance from WWBIC, which is headquartered in Milwaukee and has an office there and in Madison, in addition to the Kenosha office that opened in early 2007. The organization has been around for more than 20 years, providing assistance to women and men who want to start businesses or grow their existing businesses. Among the help the organization provides are loan services, business financing seminars and business assistance programs. The organization offers business education classes covering entrepreneurship, business planning, marketing, Internet and technology, financing and bookkeeping. Many classes are offered free or at reduced costs. Some classes are in Spanish. The group has a financial awareness department dealing with issues such as credit, savings and wealth building, and the organization provides access to capital through direct lending programs. “WWBIC is the largest microlender in the state, offering loans up to $100,000,” said Heather Lux, project director for the organization’s southeastern Wisconsin office. Lux said the organization also offers “Can We Talk” sessions where an individual can meet with an experienced business consultant to discuss her business plan and financing options.

Loan clients can take advantage of WWBIC’s business assistance program where they have access to professional volunteers in areas such as legal, marketing and accounting. “These volunteers work as consultants and mentors providing expertise as well as insight,” Lux said. The organization draws funding from earned income, donations and federal, state and local governments. Earned income come from revenue-generating ventures such as Coffee With A Conscience. WWBIC owns and manages two of these coffee shops in Milwaukee, including one at the Milwaukee Art Museum. The first client to receive a loan from WWBIC’s southeastern Wisconsin office was Johnette Feekes of Trevor. She and her husband, Jess, needed the money to open Nonni’s Italian Bistro and Bar, 12015 Antioch Road (Highway 83) in Trevor. It’s no great surprise that Johnette is in the restaurant business. Her grandmother worked at an Italian restaurant, and Johnette’s grandmother and mother both were passionate about cooking meals reflecting their Italian heritage. Growing up in Kenosha, Johnette paid attention when the women made gnocchi, ravioli, lasagna, pizza, and these are the homemade dishes she now serves at Nonni’s. But the restaurant was little more than a pipedream until > Page 25

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Johnette heard about WWBIC. “We first went for financing on our own but realized we couldn’t borrow enough to start the business,” Johnette said, adding that if not for the organization she and her husband probably would have sought other partners for their business. But that was not the direction they wanted to take. “I’m just so grateful we found out about WWBIC and they were able to help us,” she said. “And they’ve continued to be helpful, giving us pointers on drawing more business, helping with just about anything. They’ve been very encouraging.” Sisters Micki Gebel and Mary Leonard are equally enthusiastic about their experiences with the group. In fall 2007 Gebel took a WWBIC class through which she wrote a business plan for Grater Tater, 140 W. Chestnut St. in Burlington, the restaurant she and Leonard opened last August. Meeting in the class for three hours each week for three months, Gebel learned about budgeting, investing, financing, trouble shooting and when to contact attorneys and accountants. Thanks to the class, she gained confidence and acquired an in-depth understanding of her business, which has two potato bars: one with cold fixings and one with hot. These accoutrements (up to 25 items from which to choose) are heaped on baked Russet potatoes (all

Wisconsin-grown), sweet potatoes or mashed potatoes. The menu also features to-go items such as sweet potato puffs, pie and cupcakes and twice-baked potatoes. Even after the class, WWBIC has remained in touch with the Burlington sisters, offering assistance in a variety of ways. “They let me know what’s available. They’re very accessible,” Gebel said, adding that

Sisters Micki Gebel, left, and Mary Leonard opened Grater Tater, 140 W. Chestnut St., in Burlington last August after Gebel took a Wisconsin Women’s Business Initiative class. Through that class, Gebel wrote a business plan for the restaurant.

“When you’re finished you know your own business better than you thought you ever would.” Micki Gebel taking the business plan class was one of the best professional moves she has made. “When you’re finished you know your own business better than you thought you ever would,” Gebel said. “You really educate yourself, and by doing that you become more confident.” For more information about the businesses in this story, call Graceful Aging Inc. at (262) 884-9539; Nonni’s Italian Bistro and Bar at (262) 862-6600; and Grater Tater at (262) 661-4649.

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As I write this, we are experiencing economic uncertainty that is adding to the baby boomer retirement crisis. Recent studies show a 6 percent drop in the percentage of those who are very confident about whether they have enough money for basic expenses. It’s down from an already low 40 percent in 2007 to 34 percent in 2008 for those who still are working, and from 48 percent to 34 percent for retirees. A collaboration of non-profit associations representing more than 200,000 financial service professionals has formed the Partnership for Retirement Education and Planning (PREP) to help address this national crisis. The premise is to help baby boomers better understand and overcome the financial challenges of retirement. Baby boomers face financial challenges no previous generation has encountered, with pension terminations, skyrocketing health care costs, Social Security uncertainty and increased life expectancy. The more people understand their financial situations, the more self-sufficient they become. Attention to lifestyle and income needs must be considered, as should creating protection from the unexpected for yourself and your family. It is never too early to prepare for retirement. Hopefully, younger generations will learn from the challenges boomers face today. It is important to become aware of your options, which may mean contributing to your employer-sponsored retirement plan or, if one is not available through your employer, contributing to your own savings account. Even if you can’t save a lot, every little bit will help you to have choices once you reach retirement because Social Security alone will not be enough unless you have a very basic lifestyle. Life changes quickly, and the important, valuable role of a trusted adviser is to keep you

WOMEN, WISDOM AND WEALTH in good financial health. Using an expert to assist you to properly prepare can make all the difference when providing yourself with financial security. This log-jammed market is testing everyone’s true risk tolerance. Perhaps now more than ever you are tested to decide, “Can I ride this volatile train with all my money, or do I need other strategies to support myself?” For some of you it is important to go back to the basics of your budget. What do you need and what do you want? Where in your budget can you scale back to shore up more liquid reserve savings money? The answer might be found in a short, six-month plan, or perhaps there’s something you need to do permanently in order to retire. By routinely reviewing your budget, you’ll be conscious of what you’re spending and truly be in control of what your monthly budget amount is, especially if your investments are riding this market roller coaster. Kristi L. Schaeffer is a certified senior advisor with The Schaeffer Group LLC, 2315 30th Ave., Kenosha, (262) 5518900. Securities offered through Coordinated Capital Securities Inc., a registered broker/dealer member FINRA/SIPC.

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ONE TO WATCH Sheila Bugalecki and Darice Griffin recently were elected to the Racine Community Foundation Board. The mission of the Foundation is to encourage and provide opportunities for charitable giving, to Sheila manage and distribute Bugalecki the funds in a responsible manner and to enhance the quality of life for the people of Racine County. Other newly elected members are James Paulsen and Steen Darice Sanderhoff. Griffin Jackson Parker III is president of the board of directors and James Small is presidentelect and treasurer.

Beth Andersen is one of four recipients of 2008 Professional Development Awards of Excellence given by the National Agri-Marketing Association. Andersen is senior vice president and managing partner at Charleston/Orwig, a communications agency specializing in reputation management for large corporations. She received the award in the area of public relations. Andersen grew up in and resides in Kenosha. She graduated from Tremper High School in 1982 and holds two degrees from the University of Wisconsin-Parkside. Her parents are Thomas and Sandra Phillips of Kenosha.

Julie C. Grooms of Twin Lakes recently held a book signing for her book “The Rightful King” at Barnes and Noble in Racine. The book, her first, was published on Oct. 18, and she finished the sequel earlier this year.

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allenge

outheastern Wisconsin is fortunate to have a fine group of dedicated firefighters serving communities both big and small. For this issue of She, writer Jessica Stephen contacted local fire departments seeking to interview any full-time female firefighters on staff. She wanted to know why they sought out this challenge and if their careers have proven to be fulfilling. Five women — four from the Racine Fire Department and one from the Kenosha Fire Department — agreed to share their stories. PHOTOGRAPHS BY BILL SIEL

These women can’t imagine doing anything else but serving as firefighters for their communities

Sue Palubicki, from left, Randee Venne, Cynthia White and Leslie Ehlert are members of the Racine Fire Department. SHE l Feb/Mar 2009 l 31

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By Jessica Stephen

> Fir

ue Palubicki slipped through the front passenger window of a battered sedan. Being one of the smallest members of the Racine Fire Department isn’t always an advantage. In fact, on any given day, it’s apt to get Palubicki sent into an attic crawl space or through a narrow window. On one recent slippery, winter day, going through the car window Racine firefighter Sue Palubicki, 38, of Racine, started her career as a paid-on-call firefighter for the Franklin was the quickest way to get to a Fire Department in Milwaukee County. giant of a man — nearly 6 feet It wasn’t always that way. could not carry the 65 to 70 nearly 10 pounds each. 5 inches tall and more than 300 Height requirements kept pounds of gear needed for “I couldn’t do this job pounds — who was trapped when many women out of the the job, including turnouts if I didn’t work out,” said fire service; those require(firefighter pants and coat) Racine firefighter Cynthia an SUV pushed his car’s trunk ments have since been boots, breathing equipment, White. “You’ve got to have into his back seat. dropped. Others simply plus various tools weighing endurance. You’ve got The tight-squeeze was a chalto have the cardio to get through it, and the strength lenge, but Palubicki didn’t mind it to lift and tow and tug.” at all. Others, like Palubicki, “I love this job,” she said. “I can’t didn’t think it was even an imagine doing anything else.” option. Still, female firefighters Palubicki is one of five women are a rare enough breed on the Racine Fire Department — that when people see five out of about 140 firefighters. Palubicki’s father wearing a Racine Fire Department Kenosha has four female firefightcap, they assume his son ers, out of a staff of about 180. is a firefighter. And Racine It’s a small but growing number. firefighter Randee Venne has a grandfather who still “There are more women getting into it now,” Palubicki said. “We’re Racine firefighter Randee Venne, 34, of Milwaukee, says every day on wonders if her job is a passing phase. > Page 33 not like pioneers anymore.” the job is different.

“ tha gra said S exp suc The not “ diff tha me fem ces “ Ven lub 1 fi phy diff P sta call Fir Cou kee Bro Wa T the ser ing T dre Fir fire ing com “ stu way

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“He asks me, ‘You still doing that firefighter thing?’ Yeah, grandpa. That’s my job,” Venne said. Some women fear, and have experienced, harassment in such a male-dominated field. The Racine women said that’s not an issue for them. “You’re not really treated any differently,” Venne said, adding that the job requires commitment from anyone — male or female — who wants to be successful at work. “You use everything,”said Venne, who works with Palubicki at Racine’s Station 1 firehouse. “It’s mental. It’s physical. Every day can be different.” Palubicki, 38, of Racine, started her career as a paid-oncall firefighter for the Franklin Fire Department in Milwaukee County. Venne, 34, of Milwaukee, was paid-on-call with the Brookfield Fire Department in Waukesha County. Those part-time jobs helped them fall in love with the fire service, from the problem-solving to the adrenaline rush. That excitement is what drew White to join the Racine Fire Department in 1999. The firefighter/paramedic was working for a private ambulance company. But she wanted more. “I wanted the action, the good stuff, the gory stuff. The only way you can get that is on the

Racine firefighter Leslie Ehlert, 44, of Sturtevant, decided to make firefighting a full-time job after working in a machine shop and as a correctional officer. Racine firefighter Cynthia White, 39, of Milwaukee, says she couldn’t do the job if she didn’t work out.

fire department,” said White, 39, of Milwaukee. Leslie Ehlert, 44, of Sturtevant, kind of stumbled into fire service. Before she joined the Racine Fire Department, Ehlert worked in a machine shop and as a correctional officer. Her friends at the Sturtevant Fire Department convinced her to become a volunteer. Ehlert loved it so much, she decided to be a firefighter full time. “The job isn’t for everybody,” she said. “People say, ‘Oh, I’d love to be a firefighter and have your schedule,’” Palubicki said. “And I say, ‘Yeah? How would you like to work Christmas or your birthday or your kids’ birthdays? How are you with heights? How are you with blood? Are you claustrophobic? How are you with people dying in front of you? How are you with getting dirty?” But the schedule is nice. In Racine, it’s 24 hours on and 24 hours off for three cycles, then four days off. In other cities, firefighters work 24 hours on and 48 hours off in continuing rotation. The extra time with family is great, the women said. But try sleeping in a firehouse with a bunch of guys. In fact, try sleeping at all on shift. “People who think we sleep all night should come and work a night shift,” Ehlert said.

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Theonita “Thea” Cox, an assistant division chief with the Kenosha Fire Department, also is a fire investigator, public education coordinator, a grant writer, bomb technician and paramedic.

“I don’t think of myself as ‘Thea, the black lady firefighter.’

I’m a firefighter.” By Jessica Stephen

heonita “Thea” Cox, 42, of Kenosha, wanted to be a firefighter since she was a little girl. It was almost in her blood; her dad was a member of the Zion Fire Department in Illinois and fire marshal at the Zion nuclear plant, and a trauma nurse who trained trauma nurses and paramedics as emergency services coordinator in Lake County, Ill. But mom and dad wanted more for their daughter. So Cox went to college, double majoring in child psychology and art. When she graduated in 1990, Cox joined the Round Lake Fire Department in Illinois. She was paid-on-call. She worked full-time for North Chicago Fire Department before coming to the Kenosha Fire Department in 1994. “Being a woman was hard. But being a woman of color was harder,” said Cox, an AfricanAmerican. “Especially in this historically white male-dominated culture, it was a battle. And I would say it still is a battle.” In 2004, there were 14 female fire chiefs out of 30,000 in the United States. The first female fire chief was appointed two years earlier. “The struggles exist. But, at the same time, we are making progress. I am an assistant division chief in a male-dominated department as the only

PHOTOGRAPH BY BRIAN PASSINO

Theonita “Thea” Cox is an assistant division chief with the Kenosha Fire Department. She began her career in firefighting in 1990. black female firefighter in the city of Kenosha,” said Cox, who is in Kenosha’s fire prevention bureau.

Cox also is a fire investigator, public education coordinator, a grant writer, bomb technician and paramedic. She was

named Fire Safety Educator of the Year in 2006 by Wisconsin Fire Inspectors Association. And, in her free time, she puts on disaster drills around the country as a consultant for domestic Homeland Security. She also has earned two master’s degrees and is working on her doctorate. Some in the department “side step” Cox to avoid dealing with her. Others embrace her as having proven herself. “The struggle exists on a daily basis,” Cox said. “The positive is it goes back to education. I feel like I can grow as far as I want. I can be chief when I’m ready to be chief. Maybe not here. But as long as I get my education, I can do what I want.” And what Cox wants to do is make a difference. From grocery store encounters with children she has actually saved to fire education sessions at local schools, she is regularly reminded of the many ways she has made a difference. “Or even when I get on a scene,” Cox said. “There are people of color or females who say, ‘Look, mom,’ or ‘Look, husband, there’s a black firefighter,’ or ‘There’s a woman firefighter.’” The distinction is nice, but not necessary. “We don’t look at ourselves as being female firefighters, at least I don’t,” Cox said. “I don’t think of myself as ‘Thea, the black lady firefighter.’ I’m a firefighter.”

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SHE’S GOT TYLE MY FAVORITE THINGS Name: Lori Andreucci of Somers. A little about me: I love my job as the programs chair at Gateway Technical College for the medical assistant and medical transcription programs. My husband, Wayne, was a dentist in Kenosha for 30 years and recently retired (but still fills in once in awhile at Dr. Nichole Elcano’s office), and I have two wonderful stepdaughters. Dana is 30 and lives in Scottsdale, Ariz., with her husband and blessed us last year with our first granddaughter, Rylan. Amy, 27, is a merchandising/buyer for North American Company. My extended family includes one sister, three brothers, and nine nieces and nephews who I adore. My hobby is my job because it doesn’t seem like a job to me. I enjoy golfing, cooking and entertaining friends and family at home, boating, traveling in the U.S. and other countries, reading and power walking, The music on my iPod is: Al Jarreau, Michael McDonald, Michael Buble, Third World. The movie I love to watch over and over again is: “Stripes.” It always makes me laugh. The book on my bedside table is: “Loving Frank” by Nancy Horan. It was suggested by a friend. The piece of clothing and pair of shoes I’ll never part with are: None. I give my clothes and shoes away all the time. I don’t keep clothes very long. When I go to a store with bath, body and beauty items I always buy: Gifts for others. When I’m trying to impress my significant other I make sure to stop at Tenuta’s to pick up bread, sopresata, olives and cheese. If I had a day with no responsibilities I would spend it: On a boat in the Gulf. The ocean is always so relaxing, beautiful and fun. The room in my house that makes me feel most centered is: Our three-season room (no mosquitos!). When I have visitors from out of town I like to take them to: Petrifying Springs, a walk at Kenosha’s lakefront, HarborMarket if it is summertime, Tenuta’s, and to meet the rest of my family who live in Kenosha. The most important item in my purse is: Cell phone. I’d be lost without: Address/phone book/calendar. The best advice I ever received is: Always do the right thing.

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Lori Andreucci is pictured in her Somers home. She loves her job as the programs chair at Gateway Technical College for the medical assistant and medical transcription programs.

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MY FAVORITE THINGS Name: Caryn Bird of the town of Burlington A little about me: I am first and foremost a mom of three boys, ages 11, 9 and 6. I am also the wife of a successful CFO of an excavating company in Burlington. I volunteer at the boys’ schools and attend all of their athletic meets and games. I am a hypnotist and hypnobirthing practioner. I used hypnobirthing for my third child. It worked WONDERFULLY, and I was encourage by my obstetrician to become certified and teach the course. After teaching hypnobirthing for a few years, I decided to become certified as a hypnotist with the National Guild of Hypnotists. I use hypnotism to help people with challenges in their lives. I also work with children and help them with school challenges, sports, ADHD and many other issues. I am the vice president of the Chocolate Experience Tent at ChocolateFest in Burlington. After many years of my husband being involved in ChocolateFest, I decided to solve the age-old question: “Where’s the Chocolate?” I have a committee of 15 people and we have been very successful

MY FAVORITE THINGS

PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN POIRIER

Caryn Bird, of the town of Burlington, is a wife and mother of three boys. She is pictured here in her favorite room: her sunroom that overlooks Browns Lake. in creating a true Chocolate Experience at ChocolateFest. We tout some great events like a chocolate carving contest, Project Yum-Way, professional chef demonstrations with chocolate, chocolate olympics, chocolate candy bar-eating contests and much more.

ChocolateFest is run completely by volunteers and is a great asset to the community as well as a fundraiser for approximately 75 non-profit organizations. (More information can be found at chocolatefest.com.) I also enjoy working out on a daily

basis, and I especially enjoy spin class at the local gym. I find exercise is a priority in my daily schedule, which helps me maintain life’s crazy pace. The music on my iPod is: A mix of > Page 39

coun rock on. T and T is: “ Stor T sho “fun” a pa long (I kn bigg W bod Sou or lo W sign at th shrim If bilit shop or by T mak The Lake me a watc

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country, spiritual, hip-hop, Enya and rock — whatever my husband loaded on. The movie I love to watch over and over again is: “Moulin Rouge.” The book on my bedside table is: “Power of a Praying Parent,” by Stormie Omartian. The piece of clothing and pair of shoes I’ll never part with are: My “fun” outfit from high school that is a pair of stretch pants and matching long T-shirt with hand-painting on it (I know... sounds crazy). Shoes ... no biggie for me. When I go to a store with bath, body and beauty items I always buy: Souped-up hand sanitizer (smelly foam or lotion hand sanitizer with beads). When I’m trying to impress my significant other I make sure to stop at the grocery store to pick up wine and shrimp for a romantic night. If I had a day with no responsibilities I would spend it: Exercising, shopping with a sister or good friend, or by a fire with a good book. The room in my house that makes me feel most centered is: The sunroom in our home on Browns Lake. This room is very calming to me and my husband as we love to watch the moonlight bounce off the

water on the lake. We look forward to unwinding with a glass of wine and reflect on our busy day of swimming, skiing, wakeboarding or ice skating with our three boys. When I have visitors from out of town I like to take them to: Chocolate Expressions, Burlington’s gourmet chocolate store. The most important item in my purse is: Other than the money and credit cards, nothing. I’d be lost without: My family: my husband, boys, sisters and their families, parents and mother-in-law. The best advice I ever received is: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Here at She we are fascinated by the things that interest our readers: the indulgences they crave, books that transform them, music that brings them to tears (the good crying). So we created My Favorite Things, an opportunity for our readers to tell us what they love and why. Interested in sharing? Send us an e-mail (she@ kenoshanews.com) answering each of the questions you see here. You might be selected to appear on our pages.

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Racine’s Elegant Pauper has eclectic goods in a relaxed setting appeal to those looking for something a bit out of the ordinary. “We did really well with it, and then began Three years ago sisters Dana and Regan thinking of opening a store,” said Regan, 32. “We Goodsell worked full time as pharmaceutical both live in Chicago, but we wanted to open somesales representatives. They had established thing in Racine because our family had careers but yearned for a new a manufacturing plant, Racine Plating challenge. Company, in town for three generations. They still work full time in We just wanted to continue something Chicago, but today the siblings in the area.” own Elegant Pauper, a luxurious Due to the ongoing effort to revitalize gift shop and boutique swathed downtown Racine, Main Street seemed in pinks, greens and florals, and the perfect location for their business, located on Racine’s Main Street. To test the waters, the west A Mariposa frog sits on dis- and the area rekindled the girls’ fond memories of shopping with their mom Racine natives began an online play at Elegant Pauper. and grandma when they were young. boutique in 2005 to see if their col“We read a few articles about the Renaissance in lection of gifts — such as whimsical pet accouRacine, and they referenced the city as being the trements, baby items, jewelry, home fragrances, ‘Hamptons of the Midwest.’ We love the phrase, baking mixes, vibrant pajamas, and Mariposa handmade aluminum serving dishes — would > Page 41

By Karen Mahoney

Elegant Pauper in downtown Racine carries Cucina products, which add the most pleasing scents to any home.

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‘Ha it se we add ed t a su life T con trad imp els, the “W cus and out A sep the dur the with Sco the Bot hom fam frie Cas don extr the The loca P are eas carr in N and wou bou sive of u dise cess feel “I big retu ping

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Mariposa items are among those sold at Elegant Pauper in Racine. > Pauper, from 40

‘Hamptons of the Midwest,’ and it seemed to sum up everything we are about,” said Dana, 37, who added that she and Regan wanted to be part of what they saw as a successful effort to breathe new life into the downtown. The two believed in the concept so thoroughly that they trademarked the catchphrase, imprinting it on T-shirts, towels, and magnets featured in their store. “We get a lot of East Coast customers who love the slogan, and we ship quite a few things out there,” Dana said. Although the two live in separate apartments within the same Chicago highrise during the week, each Friday they trek to Wind Point to stay with their parents, Pamela and Scott Goodsell, while running the store over the weekend. Both look forward to coming home, spending time with their family members, and visiting friends from their alma mater, Case High School. The women don’t seem to mind working the extra hours as their passion for the business energizes them. They hope to open additional locations in the future. Proud to offer items that are hard to come by in southeastern Wisconsin, the sisters carry merchandise available in Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s and other upscale stores. But it would be wrong to think their boutique is filled with expensive items. They carry plenty of unique, affordable merchandise. And the key to their success is making their shoppers feel special. “I think people are tiring of big box stores and malls and are returning to the mindset of shopping locally in small stores where

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Elegant Pauper Where: 433 Main St., Racine Store hours: Monday through Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Sunday noon to 4 p.m. Contact: (262) 632-3131; www.shopelegantpauper.com

they have great customer services,” Regan said, adding that in Chicago and across the country there is a trend toward returning to the consumer-friendly ways of 30 and 40 years ago. The sisters employ two fulltime sales associates, Laura Slotnick and, perhaps surprisingly, their father, Scott, who has found his own passion among the monogrammed soaps, kitchen fragrances, designer purses and hues of pink. “The ladies love him, and he doesn’t mind being around all the pink,” Dana said. “He lived in a house with all women and is accustomed to being around them. Besides, the ladies who come in here seem to like a man’s opinion about things.” Elegant Pauper visitors will appreciate the range of prices and variety of ideas for every occasion. Prices range primarily from $10 to $300, and shoppers easily can find a multitude of gifts for under $20. “A lot of people say they are uncomfortable because they have a budget, but we have a large selection, and we can do really cute gifts for low prices,” Regan said. “We also carry a lot of handmade cards, stationery, as well as party and bridal invitations that we do. We try to take away all of the stress associated with parties or weddings. We take them off your plate and put them on ours so you don’t need to worry about them.”

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Fort Atkinson’s Fireside Theatre a guaranteed hit on stage and at the table By Kathleen Troher

ometimes we overlook the treasures in our own backyard. That’s how I feel about The Fireside Dinner Theatre in Fort Atkinson. I’ll admit I lived in southeastern Wisconsin for 16 years and I never visited the Fireside, not until early January, that is. I attended a Sunday matinee, which means the performance was preceded by a buffet brunch. Here’s the deal at the Fireside: you can’t see a performance unless you also eat a meal (brunch or dinner) before the performance begins. You can, however, eat dinner on Friday or Saturday evenings (and sometimes on Thursday and Sunday, too) without attending a performance, but the combination is so great I don’t see why anyone would want to skip the performance. The one I saw was “Those Fabulous Fifties Part 2,” which runs until Feb. 22. It was, well, fabulous. It’s a sequel to the Fireside’s most popular musical review, and I can see why it’s so well liked. The seven-piece band is top-notch, and the eight singers/dancers were among the most energetic I’ve ever seen. Although I wasn’t born until the ’60s, every tune was a familiar one, including “The Twist,” “Why Do Fools Fall in Love,” and a sizzling rendition of “Fever.” Perhaps the best number in the first half was “Tutti Frutti,” which started with a version by a performer imitating Pat Boone. He was only moments into the song when another performer took the stage to explain that although Boone did indeed record the song, it was Little Richard who made it famous. Then this

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZANE WILLIAMS

The cast of “Those Fabulous Fifties” put on such an energetic show in 2006 that the musical review is back with “Those Fabulous Fifties Part 2” this year. second performer belted out a dynamic version that rivaled Little Richard’s. There was another surprise in this number, this one came from the keyboard player. Trust me, you’ll be impressed. So even if you didn’t grow up in the ’50s, you’ll love this musical review. And if these songs are from your younger years, don’t be surprised if you find yourself saying, just like the man next to me said numerous times to his wife, “That brings back memories.” As for the brunch, the food was outstanding. The corned beef,

sliced by a chef per your request, eggs Benedict and salmon deserve special mention because they were so flavorful. There was a nice mix of breakfast items (French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon) and lunch fare (mixed vegetables, beef tenderloin with noodles and chicken breast tempura). Food temperatures were perfect, something that’s not always easy to accomplish for a buffet, and attendants were vigilant about replacing pans just > Page 45

Dog-lovers will find plenty to draw their attention in The Fireside Dinner Theatre’s specialty shops. SHE l Feb/Mar 2009 l 43

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Most people visit The Fireside Dinner Theatre for the dining and performances, but there’s shopping, too.

If you like “The Wizard of Oz” memorabilia, then you’ll love the vast collection at The Fireside Dinner Theatre’s Fanfare shop. $63.95 per person, plus a $5 order charge. Gratuity is not included. The base price for a dining/performance package ranges from $63.95 to $69.95 depending on day and time. “Those Fabulous Fifties Part 2” ends its run on Feb. 22. That’s followed by “The Fantasticks” from Feb. 26 through April 19, and then Disney High School Musical from April 23 through July 5. “The Witnesses Seeing is Believing” hits the stage from July 9 through Aug. 23, with “The Sound of Music” running Aug. 27 through Nov. 1. The 2009 season ends with “The Miracle on 34th Street Musical Here’s Love” from Nov. 5 through Dec. 27. Directions: Take Highway 50 west to Highway 12. Take Highway 12 northwest for roughly 35 miles, until you reach Hackbarth Street. Turn left and drive to Janesville Avenue. Turn right to the Fireside, which will be on your right. For more information: Call 1800-477-9505 or 920-563-9505, or go to www.firesidetheatre.com.

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This display in one of The Fireside Dinner Theatre’s specialty shops features an elegant collection of accessories to accompany fancy wine-andcheese parties.

as the last morsels in them were scooped up. Although you’re permitted to return to the buffet tables as often as you like, be sure to save room for the lemon custard ice cream pie the waitress brings to your table for dessert. It’s served with strawberry sauce and a dollop of whipped topping. In addition to the performance and the dining experience, the Fireside has a wide variety of shopping opportunities. There are five specialty shops, each carrying accessories for your home, some clothing, stationery, jewelry and the like. At Fanfare shop you’ll find all sorts of entertainment memorabilia from “The Wizard of Oz,” “I Love Lucy” and the Beatles. At The Show Place shop you can pick up Badgers and Green Bay Packers merchandise, in addition to items featuring John Wayne, golf and animals. If you tire of shopping and have time to kill before your meal begins, stop in the lounge for a drink. They serve some tasty cocktails, including non-alcoholic ones. Seats in the theater are comfortable, and there’s plenty of legroom. It’s intimate enough that just about every seat looks like a good one. It’s a theater-inthe-round with a square stage surrounded by five rows of main floor seating on two sides, nine rows of main floor seating on two sides and two rows of balcony seating on all four sides. The theater is separate from the dining areas, and no drinks or food are allowed in the theater. The cost for the brunch buffet and matinee I attended was

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Daffodil Sale The Geneva Lake area’s third annual Daffodil Sale to support the American Cancer Society will continue until Feb. 6. Those interested in contributing to the fundraising effort can purchase a bunch of 10 daffodils for $10, or, for $12, they can buy a bunch and a vase, which will be anonymously delivered to a local cancer patient by the Walworth County hospice nurses. The pick-up date is March 11. To place a daffodil order, send a check payable to the American Cancer Society and include a pick-up location. Checks should be sent by Feb. 6 to: Daffodil Days, c/o Judy Johnson or BG O’Reilly, P.O. Box 374, Williams Bay, WI 53191 Pick-up locations are: > St. Benedict’s Church on Dewey Ave. in Fontana from 4 to 7 p.m. > Horticultural Hall, 330 Broad St., Lake Geneva, from 4 to 7 p.m. > US Bank in Delavan from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. > US Bank in Lake Geneva from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. > Walworth State Bank in Walworth from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. > Walworth State Bank in Williams Bay from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. > Peoples Bank in Elkhorn from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

EVENTS CALENDAR > For Kenosha area event information, call the Kenosha Area Convention and Visitors Bureau at (262) 654-7307 or go to www.KenoshaCVB.com. > For Racine area event information, call the Racine County Convention and Visitors Bureau at (262) 884-6400 or 800262-2463 or go to www.racine.org. > For Lake Geneva event information, call Geneva Lakes Area Chamber of Commerce at (262) 248-4416 or 800-345-1020 or go to www.lakegenevawi.com.

ONGOING Through March 29 — Civil War Museum Special Exhibit: Hearts Touched With Fire - Kurz & Allison Civil War Prints Civil War Museum, Kenosha, (262) 653-4141; www.thecivilwarmuseum.org Through June 30 — Kenosha History Center Display: Leblanc Through Sept. 27 — Kenosha History Center Exhibit: 1930’s Experience Kenosha History Center, (262) 6545770; www.kenoshahistorycenter.org Through March 29 — Lemon Street Gallery: 1st Quarter All-Member Exhibit Lemon Street Gallery, Kenosha, (262) 605-4745; www.lemonstreetgallery.org Through Feb. 19 — 22nd Univer-

sity of Wisconsin-Parkside National Small Print Exhibition UW-Parkside Communication Arts Gallery, (262) 595-2364; www.uwp.edu Through March 15 — First Love Art Show KAAleidoscope Gallery, Kenosha, (262) 654-0065; www.KenoshaArtAssoc.org Through March 29 — Anderson Arts Center: Quilts: Another Dimension – An International Exhibition Anderson Arts Center Gallery & Gift Shop, Kenosha, (262) 653-0481; www. andersonartscenter.com Select dates through Feb. 22 — Sixth Street Theatre presents “Snowdance” Sixth Street Theatre, Racine. A competition of 10-minute original comedies. Judges will choose the winners of this annual comedic performance festival; (262) 632-6802

FEBRUARY MULTIPLE DAYS: 6-8, 13-14, 20-21 — Racine’s American Association of University Women’s Used Book Sale Westgate Square, Racine, (262) 632-6341 4-8 — 14th Annual Winterfest and National Snow Sculpting Championships Riviera Park, Lake Geneva (262) 248-4416

Ladies Night Out Downtown Racine presents Ladies Night Out the third Thursday of each month. Stores will have extended hours from 6 to 9 p.m. Each month participating shops will have in-store activities, demonstrations or specials for women. A percentage of every purchase will be donated to a designated charity of the month. The beneficiary of February’s Ladies Night Out event is the Women’s Resource Center. March proceeds will be contributed to Racine County’s Homeless Assistance Leadership Organization (HALO). For more information, call (262) 898-1513.

6 — “Springtime Reflections: An Art Exhibition” by the Lake Geneva Art Association Runs through April 27, (262) 2497988; www.genevalakeart.org. 7 — Downtown Gallery Night Sixth and Main streets in Racine, galleries open and guests can view new exhibits, meet the artists and enjoy refreshments from 6 to 9 p.m., (262) 634-6002 7 — Winterfest Road Race Series, 5K and 10K road races Lake Geneva, www.lakegenevasports.com

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7 — Family Story Time Hike Pringle Nature Center, Bristol, (262) 857-8008 7 — Convention of Outstanding African American Women Southwest Library, Kenosha, (262) 564-6130; www.kenosha.lib.wi.us 7— Racine Symphony with Janice Martin Masonic Center, Racine, (262) 6369285; www.racinesymphony.org 13 — Kenosha Public Museum Travelogue: Inside the Tuscan Hills with John Wilson Reuther High School Auditorium, Kenosha, (262) 653-4140; www. kenoshapublicmuseum.org 14 — Return to Romance Richard Bong State Recreation Area, Brighton, (262) 878-5600; www. bongnaturalistassociation.org 14 — Lakeside Band Festival Concert Carthage College A.F. Siebert Chapel, (262) 551-5363; www.carthage. edu/dept/music/calendar/ 14 — Civil War Museum Lincoln Bicentennial Program: The Lincoln Marriage Civil War Museum, Kenosha, (262) 653-4141; www.thecivilwarmuseum. org 14 — Great Backyard Bird Count Pringle Nature Center, Bristol, (262) 857-8008 19 — Ladies Night Out Downtown Racine stores, (262) 898-1513 21-22 — Kenosha Area Chamber of Commerce 2009 Expo University of Wisconsin-Parkside Frank J. Petretti Fieldhouse, (262) 6541234; www.kenoshaexpo.com 22 — 71st annual Coin and Collectible Show South Hills Country Club, Franksville, (262) 634-0833 27 — Kenosha Public Museum Travelogue: In Search of the Holy Grail with Frank Klicar

Susan B. Anthony Award Dinner set for March 20 The 2009 Susan B. Anthony Award Dinner will be on March 20 at the Parkway Chateau, 12304 75th St. This award is given annually to a “deserving woman residing in Kenosha County who gives of herself so that other women might learn, grow, advance and succeed; provides inspiration and leadership; believes in equity and exemplifies this philosophy in her work and through her volunteer efforts.” The award is named for Susan B. Anthony, a staunch supHannah porter of equal Rosenthal rights for women. The public is invited to attend this annual fundraising dinner. The cocktail hour begins at 5:30 p.m., with the dinner starting promptly at 6:30 p.m. The keynote speaker is Hannah Rosenthal, whose passion is social justice.

Reuther High School Auditorium, Kenosha, (262) 653-4140; www. kenoshapublicmuseum.org 28 — Honoring the Children Traditional and Educational Pow Wow University of Wisconsin-Parkside Fieldhouse, (262) 595-2675; www.uwp. edu 28 — Mardi Gras 2009, event to support Women and Children’s Horizons Local UAW Hall, Kenosha, (262) 6563500; www.wchkenosha.org 28 through March 30 — Kenosha

Kathy Barth was the 2008 Susan B. Anthony Award winner. To find out the recipient of the 2009 honor, attend the March 20 dinner at Parkway Chateau. Rosenthal was involved in community organizing and the antiwar and civil rights movements in the 1960s. Today she works to further social justice through advocacy and leader-

Public Museum Exhibit: Southport Quilters Guild Kenosha Public Museum, (262) 6534140; www.kenoshapublicmuseum.org

MARCH MULTIPLE DAYS: 1,8, 15, 22 and 29 — Sugarin’ Off Pancake Sundays YMCA River Bend Nature Center, Racine, (262) 639-0930 1 — Indoor Triathlon Series Race #2

ship development in her role at Wisconsin Physician Service Insurance Corp. in Madison, focusing on healthcare policy and prevention. From 1984 to 1993 she led the Wisconsin Women’s Council. In 1995 President Bill Clinton appointed her midwest regional director of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The Susan B. Anthony Award Dinner includes a silent auction and an opportunity to purchase raffle tickets. In 2008 nearly $10,000 was raised for scholarships and grants to non-profit agencies whose programs and projects directly affect girls or women and their families. The event is sponsored by the American Association of University Women — Kenosha, the Business & Professional Women of Kenosha, and the Kenosha Women’s Network. For reservations, call Lois Fulton at (262) 553-5510. The deadline for reservations is March 4.

RecPlex, Pleasant Prairie, (262) 9256743; www.RecPlexOnline.com 1 - 19 — Kenosha/Racine K-12 Teacher Art Invitational UW-Parkside Communication Arts Gallery, (262) 595-2113; www.uwp.edu 4 — Gardening In Spite Of Your Aches and Pains Northside Library, Kenosha, (262) 5646130; www.kenosha.lib.wi.us 6-8 — Quilters Land Cruise Radisson Hotel Racine Harbourwalk, (262) 639-8185; www.quilterslandcruise. com

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EVENTS CALENDAR 7 — Civil War Museum program: Finding Your Civil War Ancestors Civil War Museum, Kenosha, (262) 653-4141; www.thecivilwarmuseum.org 7 — 14th annual Home and Commerce Show Waterford Union High School, Waterford, (262) 534-5911 12-15 — Tribute to Bix Fest Racine Marriott, Racine, (847) 9960246; www.geocities.com/bixfest 13 — Kenosha Public Museum Travelogue: Egypt’s Treasures and Cruising the Nile with Clint Denn Reuther High School Auditorium, Kenosha, (262) 653-4140; www. kenoshapublicmuseum.org 13 — Friends of the Museum’s “Luck O’ the Irish” Party Civil War Museum, Kenosha, (262) 653-4141; www.thecivilwarmuseum.org 13 — Folk Music Hootenanny Anderson Arts Center, Kenosha, (262) 654-6840 or (262) 658-1478 14 — St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Activities Downtown Racine, (262) 634-6002; www.racinedowntown 19 — Ladies Night Out Downtown Racine stores, (262) 898-1513 20 — 2009 Susan B. Anthony

Event helps empower African American women

program “Empowering African American Women: Sharing the story; caring for our health” is set for March 26 at the Madrigrano Auditorium on the Gateway Technical College campus, 3520 30th Ave., Kenosha. The program is sponsored by the Jane Cremer Foundation. The Kenosha Unified School District’s SISTAS group will provide mistress of ceremonies to the event. The Rev. Olen Arrington Jr., pastor of Kenosha’s Second Baptist Church, will share his story about his cancer journey and how important it is to talk

Award Dinner Parkway Chateau in Kenosha, (262) 553-5510 20 — Celebrate Spring! Richard Bong State Recreation Area, Brighton, (262) 878-5600; www.bongnaturalistassociation.org 20 - 22 — Friends of the Kenosha Public Library Book Sale Southwest Library, Kenosha, (262) 564-6130; www.kenosha.lib.wi.us 21 — Kenosha Public Museum Event: National Quilt Day

with others. Dr. Julie Bryson, a psyco-oncologist, will speak about how to relate with people who have cancer, are going through treatment and are returning to work. The Rhema Dance Company and the drumming group from the Edward Bain School of Language and Arts will perform. Registration is from 5:30 to 6 p.m. Entertainment is from 6 to 6:30 p.m. The presentation is from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. A health education fair and refreshments are from 7:30 to 9 p.m. For more information or to register, call (262) 884-4827 or go to janecremerfoundation.org

Kenosha Public Museum, (262) 6534140; www.kenoshapublicmuseum.org 22 — Civil War Museum Lincoln Bicentennial Program: Lincoln in Wisconsin Civil War Museum, Kenosha, (262) 653-4141; www.thecivilwarmuseum.org 26 — “Empowering African American Women: Sharing the story; caring for our health” Madrigrano Auditorium on the Gateway Technical College campus, (262) 884-4827; janecremerfoundation.org

27 - 29 — UW-Parkside Original New Play Festival University of Wisconsin-Parkside Communication Arts Building, (262) 5952581; www.uwp.edu 28 — Taste of Scotland South Hills Country Club, Franksville, (262) 639-7824 28 — Tribute to Music Excellence Scholarship Benefit Concert University of Wisconsin-Parkside, (262) 595-2457; www.uwp.edu 29 — Women’s Ensemble Concert Carthage College A.F. Siebert Chapel, (262) 551-5363; www.carthage. edu/dept/music/calendar/

APRIL 16 — Ladies Night Out Downtown Racine stores, (262) 898-1513 18 — Earth Day Celebration featuring the Annual Guinness World Record Attempt Library Park, Lake Geneva, (262) 248-4448 19 — Indoor Triathlon Series Race #3 RecPlex, Pleasant Prairie, (262) 9256743; www.RecPlexOnline.com 25 - 26 — Earth Day Celebration and Paddlefest Big Foot Beach State Park, www. clearwateroutdoor.com, www.friendsofbfbsp.org, or www.nippersinktrail. org

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OUT & ABOUT To purchase photos, visit www.she-magazine.com

Karmen Johnson, of ReMax, receives a prize at the annual Goodfellows fundraiser at Madrigano’s Marina Shores in Kenosha in December.

PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN POIRIER

Adelene Greene, left, Mary Schuch-Krebs, center, and Rebecca MatoskaMentink look at silent auction items at the annual Goodfellows fundraiser at Madrigano’s Marina Shores in Kenosha in December.

PHOTOGRAPH BY SEAN KRAJACIC PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN POIRIER

During an October meeting of the Pleasant Prairie Women’s Club, Nancy Deeter, right, and Susan Lawler, both of Pleasant Prairie, empty a bag of toys into a cardboard box. They and other club members packed toys to send to member Debbie Strecker’s brother, USAF Chief Master Sergeant Joseph Roberts in Iraq. The toys then were redistributed to Iraqi children.

Peter and Susan Walquist sampled wine poured by Cory St. Marie-Carls during a fundraising event for Boys and Girls Club of Kenosha at Marina Shores in October. Proceeds from the event supported the Boys and Girls Club’s after-school program.

Out & About features women attending local special events. If you have photos you would like to submit for consideration, please e-mail them to she@kenoshanews.com.

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SOMETHING TO MILE ABOUT SHE AND HE | LIZ OUT LOUD | IN HER DAY Name: Marilyn A. and Steven Wikner of PHOTOGRAPH BY BRIAN PASSINO Kenosha Number of years of marriage: 13 years of marriage, have been together for 18 years. Number of children: Marilyn: one son; Steven: one step-son Number of grandchildren Marilyn: One granddaughter Steven: one step-granddaughter What’s the glue that holds you and your spouse together? Marilyn: Justice — partnership of equals; Commitment — spending time with each other; Love — unconditionally; Compassion — caring for each other’s needs. Steven: Going places and doing things together on a regular basis. What convinced you that the two of you should be a couple? Marilyn: When I met Steve I asked him five questions: If he was ever married? If he had any children? If he believes in God? If he goes to church? If he loves his mother? He answered: He has never been married. No, he doesn’t have any children. Yes, he believes in God. Yes, he goes to church. Yes, he loves his mother. Then I told him we can date. He asked me out, and we have been together ever since. Steven: That we could be at peace with one another even though we are very opposite in our interests and Steven and Marilyn A. Wikner of Kenosha have been married for 13 years. viewpoints. If you could replace one piece of clothers that he wears to do chores around the house. ing from your spouse’s wardrobe, what would it Steven: None. My wife can make any piece of be? clothing shine. Marilyn: His old, faded gray, hole-in-the-knee DockDescribe what your spouse did the last time you

SHE AND HE rolled your eyes over his/her behavior. Marilyn: When he painted the basement floor gray. Steven: Every time she flosses her teeth after eating in a restaurant. Would your spouse perform better on “Dancing With the Stars” or “Jeopardy!” and why? Marilyn: Definitely “Jeopardy!” because he’s quite intelligent. Steven: “Dancing With the Stars.” She knows her music and loves to dance. What’s the one thing your spouse thinks he/she can fix but you know he/she can’t? Marilyn: I can’t think of anything but I’m sure if he tried to fix automobiles, I believe he wouldn’t be good at it. Steven: Keeping our dog from stealing her bedroom slippers. What advice would you give a couple on their wedding day? Marilyn: Don’t just get married but have a marriage, and always remember: It’s not love that maintains a marriage, it’s the marriage that maintains the love. Steven: Delegate wedding day things to be done to other responsible people so you can relax and be the king and queen of the day. What do you love most about your spouse? Marilyn: His passionate touch, the way he keeps me happy and he lets me live. Steven: Her energy for life and willingness to speak up for what she stands for.

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> Va

Sometimes, the best Valentine’s Day presents come in a 20-pound bag By Elizabeth Snyder

f you are one of those women who plans your rromantic Valentine’s Day dinner for weeks, leaves din jewelry catalogs lying strajew tegically around the house teg in early February, or judges your you partner’s devotion by the size of the bouquet you receive at the office, then I rec apologize in advance for ofapo fending you. fen But WHEN DID VALENB TINE’S DAY BECOME A T COMPETITIVE SPORT? Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest. Now I can go back to my bowl of redand-pink M&M’s and ponder the meaning of Valentine’s Day. When I was a kid in school — lo, those many decades ago — Valentine’s Day

was a fun classroom party. We decorated a brown-paper lunch bag with construction paper hearts and taped it to the side of our desk as our “mailbox.” Then, on the big day, we dropped little cards with sayings like “Bee Mine” (decorated oh so cleverly with a bumblebee) into the other kids’ bags, ate some cookies and read our “mail.” End of story. At home, my mom always had lots of chocolate in the house around Valentine’s Day and my favorite: those little candy hearts with sayings on them. To this day, I buy bags of Conversation Hearts every February. And that’s it. I buy a little candy and send Valentine’s cards to friends and relatives. Every other year, I give my husband a card or a box of candy. What? You didn’t realize Valentine’s Day is a biennial holiday? It is in my house, where — quite by accident

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— my spouse of 18 years and I have worked out a rotating schedule. One year, he gets me a CD I’ve been thinking about buying, or a whole box of dark chocolate-covered almonds that I don’t have to share, and I forget to get him anything. The next year, I make up for it by getting him a few nice cigars and a card from the dogs. And he does nothing. That way, we rotate the guilt and only have to shop every other year. Of course, I could be screwed this year, since I don’t know whose “turn” it is in 2009, but overall this system has served us well. If you have enough diamond tennis bracelets or teddy bears clutching satin hearts to last you a lifetime, here are some ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day differently this year: If you are alone: Don’t despair; this is the perfect excuse to eat a log of chocolate chip cookie dough for supper. If you are dating: Use this as an opportunity to set some ground rules — no stupid gag gifts or flower arrangements

relationship, it’s imperative that you know your partner and what will make him or her feel loved. that cost more than the gross national product of Bolivia. (Ignore this rule if you’re dating someone fabulously rich who can’t help but shower you with gifts.) If you are married: Remember why you got hitched in the first place and do something fun together — whether it’s bowling, a movie, his-and-

her pedicures. Whatever. Just set aside some time to spend together without arguing about money, the kids or whose turn it is to walk the dog. Whatever your relationship, it’s imperative that you know your partner and what will make him or her feel loved. My favorite Valentine’s Day memory? The year my husband, Rex, remembered to pick up a 20-pound bag of dog food on his way home from work. You think that’s silly? It was 20-below with a wind-chill hovering in Antarctic ranges. My not having to schlep over to Pick ’n Save at 8 o’clock was the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me. Finally, here’s my fool-proof recipe for the perfect Valentine’s Day: Write someone a letter. Or even just a quick note. And send it the old-fashioned way, with a stamp and everything. Trust me. There’s no better surprise than mail that is not a bill, a notice from the IRS or another credit card offer. A few months back, I was cleaning out my closet and

came across a shoebox stuffed with old letters. There were some from old boyfriends — including the old boyfriend who is now my old husband — plus those blue air-mail envelopes we used to send. There were “par avion” letters from Japan (my roommate from grad school) and France (a guy I met there while on a Carthage College class trip). I read through a few letters chosen at random and smiled at the memories. And it occurred to me that if all your messages are e-mails or texts, in 20 years you won’t have a shoebox of old friends to revisit. And that would be a real shame. For Valentine’s Day 2009, let’s start a trend and reconnect with loved ones through a card or letter. Maybe even tuck in a photo. It doesn’t have to be long or poetic; it can be short, sweet and funny. But it will be a keepsake for someone and may even end up stored in a shoebox on a closet floor, to be rediscovered decades later. Other than a 20-pound bag of dog food, I can’t think of anything more romantic.

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IN HER DAY

Good kids get through bad times Editor’s note: Each month in She we feature “In Her Day,” in which a daughter tells us the many ways her mother has motivated and inspired her. In this issue, we have something a little different. Cathie DeQuaker of Lake Geneva e-mailed us asking if she could share her story. For 13 years she was married to an alcoholic, and during that time she had three children, Tina, Jennifer and Matt. She’s proud of all three of her children, but in keeping with the mother-daughter theme of “In Her Day” she wanted to share with readers the many ways her girls, now 36 and 34, have inspired her. They have given her hope and joy and purpose. Here is their story.

By Cathie DeQuaker As told to Kathleen Troher

ecause I was married to an alcoholic, our life was pretty chaotic when the kids were growing up. My focus was always on him, trying to get him to be a good dad, trying to get him to do the right things. Sometimes it was like I was his mother more than his wife, calling in to work for him, making excuses for him. I got sucked into his world, becoming his caretaker, and because of that I know my children really had it hard. There were a lot of ups and downs for them, a lot of uncertainties. But they were good kids. As the oldest, a lot of responsibilities fell on Tina, and when she started getting toward her teenage years she started to rebel. She had really, really gone down the wrong road, going with the wrong crowd of kids. She started drinking alcohol and doing drugs. She tried many times to straighten out. We’re Christians, and she would go back to God, she’d try hard to stay sober, and even if she wasn’t doing the right things she was trying to do the right things. Then her son Chris became a teenager and he started getting into drugs. He went to a rehabilitation facility for six months. He got out on Dec. 15, 2006, and less than a month later, on Jan. 10, he committed suicide. He was only 15. This tragedy hit our family very hard, and life will never be the same without him. After Chris committed suicide, Tina was sober for a while, then she relapsed, and now she’s been sober for over a year.

PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN POIRIER

Cathie DeQuaker, right, of Lake Geneva, finds inspiration each day in her daughters Tina Morris, left, of Rockford, Ill., and Jennifer Vaun, of Lake Geneva. It’s phenomenal. She goes to conferences, she speaks in front of groups. She belongs to Ray of Hope, a support group for families of those who have committed suicide. We go with her twice a month. She has an Angel Book where she writes down feelings, and last year she bought them for everybody in the group. She is such an inspiration, not only talking about the faith but living it. Her faith and helping spirit give courage and hope to so many. She says she’s got to stay straight for Chris. I think that’s the motivation that keeps her going, that and her strong faith. Tina leans on God. She prays. She journals. Sometime if I feel down or stressed I look at what she has been through — losing her son, the guilt she has about that, the constant struggle to remain sober — and I think I have

nothing to complain about. My other daughter, Jennifer, hasn’t struggled with drugs, but her life hasn’t been easy. She has been a single mom for over 10 years. She raised our granddaughter, Leah, who is 17. I have watched Jen struggle financially and emotionally, working several jobs, trying to be both mom and dad to her daughter. She’s a hard-worker, a go-getter, and she’s done a wonderful job raising Leah. I am in awe at her strength and gratitude. Both of my daughters’ strength and, above all, faith inspire me to stay strong and keep going every day. I feel really bad about everything my kids went through when they were younger because of our family life. For a woman in the same situation I was in, I would tell her to

get help for herself so she can become healthy, so she can be a healthy mom. Go to Al-Anon, go to counseling. When I looked for help back then I went for my ex-husband, looking for ways I could fix him. Now I realize I needed to become healthy myself. I wish I would have realized that sooner. Maybe my kids wouldn’t have been so hurt. I wish I could have gotten help so I could have been there for them. Back then I always kept thinking he would change, that I could help change him. Now I realize there was nothing I could do if he wasn’t ready. I wish I had realized that sooner, too. I’ve asked God to forgive me. And I’ve asked all three of my children to forgive me. They have said, ‘Mom, you did the best you could given the situation.’ That blows me away because I think I was a terrible mom. Now, with my children and my grandchildren, I feel I’ve been given a second chance. And I’m trying to pass along what I learned to help others. All the bad we went through, I’m trying to turn it into something good. Jen and Tina, too. I think maybe we can help someone else because we’ve been through so much. Cathie DeQuaker is remarried. She lives in Lake Geneva with her husband of 21 years, Steve. Tina Morris is remarried and lives in Rockford, Ill. She has a son, Andy, a stepdaughter, Corinna, and a granddaughter, Kailyn. Jennifer Vaun lives in Lake Geneva with her daughter, Leah. Anyone interested in contacting Cathie DeQuaker or Tina Morris can do so through She magazine by e-mailing she@ kenoshanews.com.

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