4 kwBarTab.com
10 Daily Bar Buzz
daily happy hour & entertainment schedule
13 BarTab Entertainment Guide
BarShots
08
bottle cap, green parrot, hog’s breath, lazy gecko, margaritaville, smokin’ tuna
19 Feature: BarTab’s Top 6 Drinking Games 24 Be Careful What You Wish For
PO Box 4951 Key West, FL 33041 info@kwBarTab.com 305.292.6262 Publisher Lawrence Bradley, Jr larry@kwBarTab.com
14
by bill hoebee
Copy Editor
25 BarTab Profiles
Miles Markers miles@kwBarTab.com
chris & tricija @ margaritaville [29] rusty lemmon @ smokin’ tuna [31] jamie @ fogarty’s / caroline’s cafe [34] pat @ charlie mac’s / rum barrel [36]
32 Map of Key West 40 Restaurant & Bar Listings 47 BarTab BINGO Board 48 100 Beers of Solitude
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22 38
by leigh pujado
55 City Considers Ban on Drinking Games by david sloan
58 Periodic Table of Booze 59 Menus & Delivery Guide
Words By Bill Hoebee billhoebee@clearchannel.com Leigh Pujado cleighpujado@gmail.com
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David Sloan sloaniv@gmail.com
caroline’s cafe, mr z’s, luigi’s secret recipe
6 kwBarTab.com
Design Flypaper Publishing info@flypaperpublishing.com 305.292.6262
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The BarTab magazine is a free publication distributed throughout Key West, FL. Omissions in the BarTab are at the discretion of the publisher. All rights reserved & contents ©2004-2012, Flypaper Publishing, LLC.
8 kwBarTab.com
10
2¢
Amigos
Bagatelle
Blackfin Bistro
Blue Heaven
416 Appelrouth 305.414.8626 Free bacon Happy Hour 4:30-6:30p Monday-Friday 50% off beers & wines
425 Greene 305.292.2009 Open late, & we mean late night every Friday & Saturday midnight-6a is Locals’ Late Night!
115 Duval 305.296.6609 Happy Hour 5-7p w/ half priced appetizers & drinks & a $20 Maine lobster dinner.
918 Duval 305.296.6609 4-6:30p $5 menu bar items 50% off wine by the glass & beers
729 Thomas 305.296.8666 One of the best outdoor venues in the Keys! Bloody Marys are the specialties here at their outdoor bar.
Bottle Cap
Charlie Mac’s
Conch Republic
Dante’s
Grand Café
1128 Simonton 305.296.2807 Happy Hour 4-7p & get a FREE $25 bar tab on your birthday!
404 Southard 305.320.0204 Happy Hour 4-7p with discounts on all wells & all drafts. Live music on weekends & the home to the SM Cane’s Club
631 Greene 305.294.4403 Happy Hour 4-7p 2 for 1 premium well drinks, all domestic & imported beers
951 Caroline 305.293.5123 Happy Hour 4-8p 1/2 off doms & wells plus a dozen shot specials $5 app menu & 3-4-$2 raw bar
314 Duval, 305.292.4740 Happy Hour open-5p Discounts on all frozen drinks, mojitos & margaritas
Green Parrot
Hog’s Breath
Irish Kevin’s
Island Dogs
601 Whitehead 305.294.6133 Happy Hour 4-7p daily with “sound-checks” at 5:30p every Friday. Monday night Bingo @ 7p
400 Front 305.296.4222 Drink Discounts on all liquor & beer 5-7p Live music all day from 1pm-2a
211 Duval 305.292.1262 Happy Hour open-6p $1 off wells & $3 pints of Bud Light & live music all day long!
505 Front 305.509.7136 Happy Hour 3-6p $2.75 wells, $4 mojitos.
Little Room Jazz Club
301 Whitehead 305.293.8484 Happy Hour 4-7p $350 margaritas, $2 micro brews & 1/2 priced hot, mild, jerk or sweet & hot wings
821 Duval 305.517-6324 Happy Hour 4-7p all beers $4 & glasses of wine $6 music nightly 9p-1a
Prime Steakhouse
Rum Barrel
Rumor Lounge
951 Caroline 305.296.4000 Steaks, seafood, martinis & fine wine. Opens daily at 6p
\528 Front 305.292.7862 Happy Hour 4-7p 2-for-1 Domestics & Wells & the best $5 ‘App’ menu in town! [at the bar only]
430 Greene Happy Hour 4-8p with $3 wells & $2 dom drafts Sundays Bacon Bloody Marys all day!
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
Southernmost Beach Café
4 Charles 305.517.6350 Happy Hour 5-7p Discounts on beers & well drinks with live music starting at 6p
1405 Duval 305.295.6550 Happy Hour 4-7p Your choice of wings, tuna sliders, popcorn shrimp or personal griller for $4 & $3 drink specials
Tattoos & Scars
JDL’s Big Ten
Krawl
509.5 Duval 305.294.7955 12 High Def Projection TVs with personal speakers to listen. Late night food till 1a
920 Caroline 305.294.6277 2 Happy Hour 3-6p & 11p-2a Get $1 off all drinks
506 Southard 305.735.4146 Happy Hour 5-7p all tap beers 2-4-1 Tuesday SIN drink specials & live music 8p-close
Margaritaville
Santiago’s Bodega
500 Duval 305.292.1435 Get an original Cheeseburger in paradise! Along with signature margarita
Salute! 1000 Atlantic 305.292.1117 Bar open for drinks from 11a-10:30p with one of the best views in Key West. Convenient bar to get drinks for the beach! 12
Kelly’s Caribbean
Jack Flats
207 Petronia 305.296.7691 Happy Hour 3-6p 6 tapas for only $5 1/2 priced beers, sangrias, & glass of wine. $10 off all bottles
ToGoKeyWest.com Key West delivery menus all on one site!
512 Greene St 2-4-1 Happy Hour 4-7p & Sun-Thurs 2-4a dom beers & wells, Free BBQ during Sunday Football $2 PBR draft all day
kwBarTab.com
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Rum Barrel
EVERYDAY SUNDAY
Monkey’s Revenge $5 @ Southernmost Beach Cafe
MONDAY
Summer Revenge $5 @ Dante’s Sweet Revenge Drinks 2-4-1 @ Lazy Gecko On All Sweet Revenge Drinks $4 shots / $5 drinks @ Tattoos n Scars On All Sweet Revenge Drinks $4 shots / $5 drinks @ Shots & Giggles
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p-close
Open Mic Jam hosted by Larry Baeder & Dora @ 7p
Summer Revenge $5 @ Dante’s
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p-close
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
Wild Pop Sweet Revenge & cola $5.75 @ Schooner Wharf
Live DJ Music w/ Primetime 10p-close
Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
WED
See page 9 for more details!
TUESDAY
528 Front 305.292.7862 2 for 1 Happy Hour 4-7p wells, domestic drafts & bottles & $5 food menu
THURSDAY
203 Duval 305 292.1903 Happy Hour 5-8p wells & beers 2-4-1
FRIDAY 16
Lazy Gecko
SATURDAY
Sweet Revenge Drink Specials
Extended Happy Hour! (Sun & Mon) 5p-midnight all wells & beers are 2-4-1 DJ Music 10p-close Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p Live Music on the Quarterdeck @ 7p
Sunset Pier 0 Duval 305.296.7701 Terrific Sunset View Nov 6:47p Dec 5:38p Nina Newton @ 1p Robert Albury @ 5p Rolando Rojas @ 1p Robert Albury @ 5p
Rolando Rojas @ 5p George Victory @ 1p Robert Albury @ 5p George Victory @ 1p Rolando Rojas @ 5p Rolando Rojas @ 1p Robert Albury @ 5p Tony Baltimore & Friends 1-4p Robert Albury @ 5p
Willie T’s
525 Duval 305.294.7674 Happy Hour 4-7p 50% off premium well drinks & beers Sunday, Bloody Sunday 2 for $10 Bloody Mary s
Mojito Monday 2 for $12 Mojitos 2-4-$10 Margaritas Live Music 1p & 8p 2-4-$10 Margaritas Live Music 1p & 8p 2-4-$10 Rumrunners Live Music 1p & 8p Live Music at 1p & 8p Margaritas 2-4-$10 Live Music at 1p & 8p Margaritas 2-4-$10
18 kwBarTab.com
BarTab’s Top 6
Drinking Games Beer Pong Teams of 2 people stand at each end of a long table (6’-10’). 10 cups are placed at each end with a generous amount of beer in each cup. Each team member throws one ping-pong ball across the length of the table & into the cups of the opposing team. Each cup containing a ball is drunk by the opposing team, & is then removed from the table. This process repeats until one team has made the other team consume all their cups of beer. There are different house rules on how to play, so check with your host or local watering hole. If you’ve set up a rogue table at a random bar like the Grand Cafe, I wouldn’t worry about rules & just try to play as quickly as possible before you are probably asked to leave.
You Honk, We Drink For this, you will need comfortable seating - we suggest a couch. Anywhere from a 12-pack of beer to a keg. Then just sit by the road with a massive sign that says, “You Honk, We Drink.” Then when a passing motorist honks their horn, everyone drinks. kwBarTab.com
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BarTab’s Top 6
BattleShots
Drinking Games
Using 2 cardboard boxes [pizza boxes work exceptionally well], draw matching grids on the base & upright part that will face the player [like Battleship]. Make 2 of these & set them back to back. Depending on the level of alcoholism decide how many ‘ships’ you want to play with. A good start is 1-2 shot ship, 1-3 shot ship & 1-4 shot ship. Then call coordinates to your opponent. If a shot is in the square they must drink it. The person that loses all their ‘shot ships’ first must finish all their opponent’s remaining shots.
Edward 40 Hands Each player duct tapes a 40-ounce bottle of beer to each of their hands & may not remove them until they’re both consumed. The person drinking will typically need use of their hands to urinate, smoke a cigarette, or answer phone calls, so each participant has an incentive to finish their alcohol as quickly as possible. It can also acts as a “goal” for the game: to see who can abstain from these activities until they are finished with their drinks. Vomiting is considered an immediate disqualification.
Bingo Wether it’s Monday night at the Green Parrot or Sunday at 801 Bourbon, drinking goes hand-in-hand with Bingo in Key West. Both are fundraisers for local charities, & both are great atmospheres to kick back a few beers & shots. It’s not an organized ‘drinking game’ exactly, but who can sit in a bar for 3 hours without catching a buzz? And your host Mitch at 801 does his best to make sure you leave there a bit more lubricated than how you came in!
Bocce It could be argued that one requirement to be considered a true Key West local is to have played a season of bocce… or at least have played a day on a slow September weekend. Some people may take their bocce seriously, but when BarTab learned to play it was with a bocce ball in one hand & a strong rum & coke in the other. When the best of 3 tie breaking game is determined by the sobriety of your team, you know you’ve found a sport for the true alcoholic. 20 kwBarTab.com
22 kwBarTab.com
Be Careful W by Bill Hoebee
i
read the other day that on Valentine’s Day, same-sex couples here in Key West & across the country held “non-violent” protests in order to point out the inequalities that they face by not being able to legally get married. If there were truly a separation between church & state, lots more people would be able to enjoy the benefits of marriage: Insurance, financial, & of course the benefit of a piece of paper that says you’ll be with that person the rest of your life, or else. One lady said, “I wish people would just mind their own damn business & let us get married.” Be careful what you wish for. Recent surveys show that over 60% of marriages end up in divorce, which can lead to extreme heartache, stress & financial ruin for at least one of those involved in said divorce. Everybody, regardless of orientation, deserves to be married at least once, so good luck, folks. For me personally I’d still have most of my music collection if marriage was illegal to heterosexuals. An old guy told me the other day he wished he was back in the 1950s again, referring to them as the “good old days.” Ahh, yeah the good old days. Blacks couldn’t sit in the front of a bus, the Korean War & the McCarthy witch
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r o F h s i W u o Y t a h hunts. Good times. I wished him “good luck” on the time machine & told him that as a child, I wished that I had brown hair & eyes like everybody else in my class. Then my mom wisely told me that, “No matter your hair, eye or skin color there’s always gonna be people out there who hate you… because you’re annoying, Son.” I heard a man on TV say he wished we would finally stop fighting & making war over religious beliefs. Shortly after that, a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on my door. I let them in, offered them a drink, so I could ask why they don’t celebrate Halloween. They ignored me & as I put their shots of Jack Daniels in front of them, they quietly got up & left, leaving me to imagine that the reason they don’t “do” Halloween is that they don’t like strangers going up to their door & annoying them. I wish they’d come back, I’ve still got more questions & a bottle of gin to share with them. I was told that “wishing” is sacrilegious; that all we need to do is pray to God & all our dreams will come true. But in these troubled times I don’t think doubling up would hurt too much. For example, Vice President Dick Cheney
claims he’s a religious man but I’d bet he wishes he didn’t mistake his 78-year-old lawyer for a giant quail. In Dick’s defense a lot of quails now stand about 6-feet tall & wear fluorescent coats – a simple mistake. I wish I had more time, more sleep, told more people that aren’t here anymore that I loved them. I wish our soldiers could come home safely & that the world didn’t hate Americans so much. I wish that I could live on a beautiful tropical island with the coolest sunsets & people around. Oh, I do. See? Sometimes wishes do come true. How I wish a taxi would come to pick me up & bring me to the Schooner Wharf for happy hour. Wow, I’m two for two. How I wish I could put this pen down & forget about this column for another week. Three for three. I’m on a roll. Listen to Bill Hoebee weekdays 2-7pm on the Florida Keys #1 radio show, “Hoebee in the Morning” on SUN 99.5 FM & see him on Channel 24, Key TV’s Club Hour.
kwBarTab.com
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26 kwBarTab.com
CHRIS & TRICIJA @ Margaritaville
BT: What are your full names, from?
Patricija Hlevnjak Hambrook from NoviGrad Istra, Croatia. Christopher Stephen Hambrook from Baltimore, Maryland.
BT: How did you two meet?
C: We met 18 years ago during Monday Night Football. We went out on a date Wednesday. Friday afternoon, we got married at the Key West Courthouse & we’re celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary on December 9th.
BT: How long have you 2 been working at Margaritaville?
C: 5 years.
BT: Did you two get hired together?
P: I was hired first. I liked it so much, he joined me a month later.
BT: What was your first job ever?
P: In Croatia, I was bartending when I was 16. C: In Baltimore, I was picking weeds at a White Coffee Pot, Jr. & washing the windows when I was 13.
BT: What’s your favorite signature drink at Margaritaville?
P: Oh, Passion Fruit Margarita. C: Mine’s going to have to be the Five O’clock Somewhere.
BT: Do you have any crazy stories about working here?
P: Meeting Jimmy & motorboating him. I guess he motorboated me. The other way around.
BT: Did he actually motorboat you?
P: No, I had to grab my camera on a shelf & he was standing under it. I said, ‘I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I have to do this.’ I just reached for the camera & my boobs ended up in his face.
BT: What’s your favorite type of tequila?
P: My favorite type of tequila? Passion Fruit Tequila, Margaritaville Paradise Passion Fruit tequila. C: I’m going to have to say mine’s the Jimmy Silver Tequila.
BT: Do you guys have a favorite drinking game?
C: It’s called, “Are You a Buffalo?” You have to snort a full can of beer first to be initiated. Then you can never, ever be caught with a beer in your right hand. If you are, anybody can call you out. That is a ‘Buffalo.’ You have to either slam that beer immediately, or pour it on top of your head. You have that option.
BT: What are your favorite restaurants in Key West?
P: La Trattoria. Pepe’s used to be good, but I’m not so sure any more. I still like the Conch Republic Seafood restaurant, & the brunch at the Westin is the best. C: My favorite restaurants are El Mocho on Stock Island, Sandy’s Cafe on White Street, & Mr. Z’s, without a doubt.
BT: Where are your favorite places to drink? P: Jack Flats and Virgilio’s. C: Yeah, Jack Flats or Virgilio’s.
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RUSTY LEMMON @ Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
BT: What’s your full name, age & sign?
Rusty Lemmon from Memphis, Tennessee & I’m a Capricorn.
BT: When did you move to Key West?
R: I got down here about the end of April from Denver, CO.
BT: What brought you here?
R: Water & music.
BT: Who are your biggest musical influences?
R: It’s hard to say. I grew up on the music my grandfather listened to, so a lot of Marty Robbins, Willie Nelson. Then I had a pop side from my mother & I had the regular country stuff from my dad. So, it was all of that mashed with me being from the South & some gospel thrown in.
BT: How old were you when you played your first gig?
R: My first public performance was in church, when I was about 9 years old. I sang a solo in church without a guitar just to accompaniment music. My first performance with a guitar was in high school. I had a garage band & we played some parties around town, you know, that kind of thing.
BT: What kind of music was that?
R: Just Southern rock & Sublime. That ‘90’s rock stuff whatever was popular at the time.
BT: Where are you playing these days?
R: I call the Smokin’ Tuna my home. I play there at least 3 or 4 times a week. I frequent all the other places too, The Lazy Gecko, Hog’s Breath, Fury boats, Conch Farm, sometimes, Hogfish, Hurricane Hole Marina - just to name a few.
BT: If you could play with any musician, living or dead, who would it be? R: I would love to be able to sing with Ray Charles. That would be a good one.
BT: What would you guys play?
R: “Seven Spanish Angels” is a great tune. I always liked it. He did it with Willie Nelson. That one & “Georgia,” those are just 2 amazing tunes I would like to perform.
BT: Who would win in a fist fight, Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder?
R: [laughs] Is that fair? [laughs] You’re fucked for asking that, man. [laughs] I’m not answering that. I’ll dig myself a hole if I answer that question.
BT: Any music albums? Anything coming up in the near future? Any plans, desires, hopes?
R: Yeah. I’m writing, currently. I got out of music for several years, got my captain’s license and just recently, coming down here, have gotten back into it. This is how I’m making my livelihood, so I want put out another record in the next year or so. kwBarTab.com
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RESTAURANTS & BARS 1
2¢
2
AMIGOS
3
BAGATELLE
7 26
21 7
20
4
BLUE HEAVEN
5
CAROLINE’S
6
CHARLIE MAC’S
7
DANTE’S / PRIME STEAKHOUSE
8
GREEN PARROT
9
HOG’S BREATH
10
IRISH KEVIN’S
11
JACK FLATS
12
JDL’S BIG 10 SPORTS BAR
11 17 8 11 19 18 28 1 14
13
KELLY’S
8 6
14
KRAWL OFF DUVAL
15
LAZY GECKO
16
LITTLE ROOM JAZZ CLUB
17
LUIGI’S SECRET RECIPES
18
MARGARITAVILLE
19
MR. Z’S
20
PRIME STEAKHOUSE / DANTE’S
21
RUM BARREL
22
RUMOR LOUNGE
23
SANTIAGO’S BODEGA
24
SMOKIN’ TUNA
25
SOUTHERNMOST BEACH CAFÉ
26
SUNSET PIER / HOT TIN ROOF
27
TATTOOS & SCARS
1 6D CINEMA
4 CAPRICORN JEWELRY
28
WILLIE T’S
2 BAREFOOT BILLY’S
5 CITY VIEW TROLLEYS
3 BI-PLANE TOURS
6 KW HAMMOCK CO.
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9 12
3
12
10 27 2 15 5 10 22 24 1 13 5
4
23
4
6 16
25
2 2
STORES & SERVICES
19
9
3
Key West’s Best Jetski Tour Guided Tours & Hourly Rentals
7 INFINITY HAIR
10 SOUTHERNMOST CIGAR CLUB
8 LIVING DOLLS
11 STUDIO MARIE-PIERRE
9 SALON SEASIDE
12 TOY FACTORY
(305) 849-0815
www.BareFootBillys.com 33
JAMIE ODONNELL @ Caroline’s Cafe & Fogarty’s
BT: What’s your full name, age & favorite color?
Jamie Christine ODonnell, Salem, PA, and I don’t know, green, maybe? [laughing] Your favorite color, really?
BT: Fogarty’s was your first job in Key West?
J: Fogarty’s 5 years ago. Yeah, I can keep a job.
BT: What was your first job ever?
J: When I was 14 I worked at Party City as a balloon girl. [chuckles] I still call myself a balloon expert to this day.
BT: What tips can you give us non-balloon experts?
J: Make sure you know how to tie it, keep it tight & don’t use them if you’re allergic to latex. [laughs]
BT: Can you make balloon animals? J: No. [laughs]
BT: What are some essential items someone might need to visit the Keys? J: Oh, God. A bathing suit, liquor, & probably a costume accessory like a boa or a crazy hat.
BT: In general, do you like drunks? J: Drunks? I have to. [laughs]
BT: If you had to make a drinking game out of work, what would 3 of the rules be? J: Drink every time someone asks us if we sell frozen drinks while we’re standing in front of 14 frozen machines. Drink when people ask where Duval Street is. And drink when people ask us why we ring the bell. 34 kwBarTab.com
BT: Absolute dumbest question you’ve ever been asked?
J: Probably the frozen drink thing. Yeah, it had to be the frozen drink thing. I was standing in front of literally 14 machines! I was on the corner of the Monkey Bar, and this girl walks up & asks, “Do you guys have frozen drinks here?” I told her no. [laughs] The people sitting at the bar got a kick out of it.
BT: Do you have a favorite drinking game?
J: I love a card game called Kings. You have to put a cup in the middle of everyone & spread all the cards out. Everybody picks a card. You have to do something for every card. They all mean something. Whoever picks the King has to pour some of their drink into the cup. The last one to pick a King, the 4th King, has to drink the middle cup. It could be a mix of beer, cider, rum & Jack and Coke in the cup. It’s a pretty nasty game. [laughs]
BT: What are your days off like?
J: I just started golfing. Mostly, I ride around in the cart & drink. But I like to stop occasionally at holes & golf. Any chance to get out on the water.
BT: Any other general shout-outs, plugs?
J: A shout-out to my bartenders - Kyle, Lauren, Sarah, Bethany, Rhino - The A-Team. [laughs]
PAT DUNN
@ Charlie Mac’s & Rum Barrel BT: What’s your full name, age & originally from?
Patrick Francis Dunn, 30 & Northeast Philadelphia.
BT: What brought you to Key West?
P: I graduated culinary school & decided that city life was no good for me. I moved down here about 10 years ago, with one of my old bosses, Timmy King. I cleaned his pool as my rent in the beginning. [laughs]
BT: Where was the first place you worked as a chef?
P: 4 years ago I moved back to Philadelphia for a year & worked for Jose Garcia’s restaurant Chifa on Chestnut St in downtown Philly. Just working for a guy like Jose was an honor. I really felt like I gained the most knowledge & experience in the professional part of the restaurant world working for Jose. After that, I was confident enough to call myself an actual chef.
BT: How did you start working at the Rum Barrel?
P: I met my wife down here & we were living up in Philadelphia. I loved working for Jose Garcia, but she loved the Keys a little bit more. 3 years ago I contacted Jeff Sorg [GM of Rum Barrel] & asked him if he knew anyone who needed a chef & he told me he had an opening.
BT: Tell us a little bit about Charlie Mac’s.
P: It’s going to be just a kick-ass place to watch sports or just sit back & relax. We have a ton of beer, I believe, 23 different drafts, full liquor bar & a lot of barbecue. It’s just going to be a great place to hang out, have a beer & get a bite to eat. 36 kwBarTab.com
BT: What’s the most popular menu item at Rum Barrel, & so far at Charlie Mac’s? P: At the Rum Barrel, I would have to say the Philly Spring Rolls. Come football season, we can’t even make enough - every day we’re making them. Charlie Mac’s, I would say the Brisket Sandwich & Brisket Platter, hands down.
BT: Tell us a bit about some of the preparation you did to get ready for Charlie Mac’s. P: I went up to Greenville, SC & I worked for a guy, Beau Hammond, for a few weeks. He owns Henry’s Smoke House & he’s won numerous People’s Choice awards in SC for his barbecuing. I stayed at his house, so when we finished work, we went back to his place & did homework too. It was all business, just working & studying. I’ve also been barbecuing for a long time, I just never did it at the industrial level that I’m doing now.
BT: Where does your passion for food come from?
P: Starting out dish washing at the age of 13 & just working for some great chefs. I just kept getting better at it. I got good with it, & stuck with it & fell in love with it.
Watch Your Favorite Pro/College Football Team From The Best Seat in Key West @ JDL’s Big Ten Pub w w w w
920 Caroline St.
294-6277
22 Hi-definition large screen TV’s 2 Happy Hours: 3-6 pm and 11 pm - 2 am Open 11 am - 2 am and we deliver Two Private “Skybox” Viewing Rooms
A GREAT Sports Bar with GREAT Food
38 kwBarTab.com
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Bar & Restaurant Listings Listings appear in alphabetical order. If you would like to update, change or add a listing, please contact us at info@KWBarTab.com Cheers!
2¢
UFO
416 Appelrouth, 305 414 8626 • An off the
beaten path gastropub with graffiti-tagged walls with dishes from wings & burgers to yellowtail snapper & soft shell crab.
801 BOURBON
LAM
801 Duval, 294 4737 • The front bar is the
locals’ hangout. Drag shows upstairs at 9 & 11pm, bingo on Sun. Saloon 1 in back is not for the timid or faint-hearted. 4 TVs [w/ porn]
915 [NINE ONE FIVE]
✆UFO
915 Duval, 296 0669 • Mediterranean–
American tapas menu with a tuna dome that can’t be missed. One of the finest wine lists in the Keys with ample indoor & outdoor seating.
AGAVE 308
UF
308 Front, 509 7304 • Key West first tequilas
bar, with over 50 tequilas. Open 11a-1a or later, with happy hour 4:30-6:30p & 10p-12a.
ALONZO’S
UWFO
700 Front, 294 5880 • One of the best views & great 4-6:30p happy hour. Stay after for a top rate menu & seafood selection.
40 kwBarTab.com
✆F
AMBROSIA
1401 Simonton, 293 0304 • Amazing bar,
lounge & restaurant. The new look may be a bit much to some die hard fans, but they are still serving up some of the best sushi in town.
OL
AMIGOS
425 Greene, 292 2009 • Tacos , burritos, nachos & more. Not only delivering Mexican food to your door, you can get margaritas or some beer too! Open 8a-1a, Fri & Sat till 6a delivery 11a-11p. 2
ANTONIA’S
✆UF
615 Duval, 294 6565 • This amazing Italian restaurant is one of Duval’s finest. 100s of wines by the bottle & original Italian menu creations daily. Lunch Mon-Fri 11am-2p & dinner every night at 5p with TK at the bar.
AQUA
LAOM
711 Duval, 294 0555 • Aquanettes perform every night @ 9p, Fri & Sat 9&11p, w/ DJ music after the shows. Dueling bartenders every Mon 5:30-8:30p, karaoke at 11p.
AZUR
UF
425 Grinnell, 292 2987 • Mediterranean fare at one of Key West’s chef owned restaurants. Breakfast 8a Mon-Fri, lunch till 2p. Dinner 6-10p Mon-Sat & a brunch on Sun.
BAGATELLE
LGO
115 Duval, 296 6609 • Hide from the beer
BEACH BAR @ the Pier House
WFO
01 Duval 296 4600 • Stop by for lunch or just sit oceanside at the bar & soak in some of their island drinks. Ask about their live music.
BERLIN’S
✆WUFO
700 Front, 294 5880 • Feeling swanky? Go upstairs at A&B Lobster House for one of the best menus in town. Great view of the harbor & the only cigar bar in town.
BETTER THAN SEX
UFL
926 Simonton, 296 8102 • Erotically charged atmosphere, sporting dishes like Jungle Fever & Missionary Crisp. Open daily 6pm-midnight.
BLACKFIN BISTRO
FO
918 Duval, 509 7408 • From breakfast inside
with a view of Duval to late night dinner on the back deck, Blackfin offers savory bistro cuisine with a true Key West flare with fantastic outdoor dining.
BLUE HEAVEN
FOM
729 Thomas, 296 8666 • Cats & chickens
living in harmony & an award winning wine list that complements extraordinary food. One of Key West’s best breakfast/brunch spots.
BLUE MOJITO
WUFO
601 Front • Located at the Hyatt, plenty of
waterfront couches to chill on. Get a little sun or hang in the shade. Light food served & offering 20% locals’ discount.
chugging contests of Duval & request your favorite martini for $6 after 10p. Hosting Full Moon Parties on the back deck monthly.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
BOBBY’S MONKEY BAR
LA
900 Simonton, 294 2655 • One block off Duval, activities provided through the week. Karaoke 9:30p Mon, Thurs, Fri & Sun. Tues 7p pool tourney. HH noon-8p on beer & wells.
BOURBON STREET
LAO
724 Duval, 294 9354 • The ultimate guys-only
night out. Porn on TV, dancers on bars & pool w/ waterfall. Mon is movie night & 2-4-1 Tues. 16 TVs [2 big, 3 w/ porn]
BOTTLE CAP
GOLM
1128 Simonton, 296 2807 • Cool lounge design
& a rock n’ roll twist. DJ music Tues, Fri & Sat @ 10p. Pool room w/ a sic video jukebox to listen to your own tunes. Outside bar too for those cool KW nights! Happy hour 4-7p.
BULL & WHISTLE
LM
224 Duval, 296 4565 • Live music all day,
everyday. Get 2-4-1 margaritas [or one large] at the bar or grab a table & ask Lynn or Vicky for Debbie’s award winning Bloody Maria!
THE CAFÉ
F
509 Southard, 296 5515 • Mostly vegetarian
entrees, sandwiches & awesome veggie burger. Organic wines, specialty beers & herbal teas. Open daily Mon–Sat 11am-10p. Delivery or take out.
CAFÉ SOLÉ
UFO
1029 Southard, 294 0230 • A few blocks from Duval & some of the most authentic cuisine this side of Paris. Fine wine, sherry & ports.
UF
CAMILLE’S
1202 Simonton, 296 4811 • A locals’ favorite
w/ a menu that changes daily. Serving a fantastic breakfast, lunch & dinner. HH 4-7p. Opens 8a-10p[ish].
SFO
CAROLINE’S
310 Duval, 294 7511 • This totally outdoors
bar/restaurant is awesome. Great for people watching & low priced menu items. Lisa & Bethany in command. Delivery available. 2 TVs
CHARLIE MAC’S
GSOML
404 Southard, 320 0204 • BBQ is back
downtown next to the Parrot. Serving food late night & HH 4-7p. Home of the Southernmost Cane’s club & live music regularly.
L
CHART ROOM
1 Duval, 296 4600, ext 477 • One of Key West’s oldest. Tucked inside the Pier House, opens at 4p. 2 TVs
FO
COLOMBIAN GRACE
223 Petronia, 517-6449 • Serving fresh, unique, homemade Colombian food.
✆WUF
THE COMMODORE
704 Front, 294 9191 • On the harbor walk,
come to experience their spectacular creations. Stop in the lounge & have a nip on a Frost Bite.
CONCH REPUBLIC
WFOM
631 Greene, 294 4403 • This open-air bar &
restaurant offers dozens of rums & then some. Plenty of seats at the bar, w/ live music every night. Be sure to ask about the rum sampler.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
on the water
L
CONCH TOWN TAVERN
3040 N. Roosevelt • This is a locals’ favorite New Town hang out. Awesome prices, 2 pool tables. You can bet on a late night crowd to have ‘one more’ on the way home with.
O
CORK & STOGIE
1218 Duval, 517 6419 • Booze & cigars, C&S is open 10a-11p. Daily wine tastings & the only place in town to get Key West Factory cigars. Free Wi-Fi for customers.
WFOM
DANTE’S
951 Caroline, 293 5123 • Pool side drinking &
dining with HH Mon-Fri 4-8p all drinks almost half price. Poolside DJ every weekend, tons of locals pounding shots - this is KW’s premier public pool to get hammered at! 15 TVs
SLO
DONS’ PLACE
1000 Truman, 296 8837 • Closed only 3 hours, 6 days a week. Opens 7a & stays open till 4a. 10 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, 1 GT, juke tunes.
F
EL SIBONEY
900 Catherine, 296 4184 • When your pockets are feeling light, Siboney can at least keep your belly full with great Cuban food at extremely reasonable prices.
FAT TUESDAY
LOM
305 Duval, 296 9373 • “Home of the World
Famous Frozen Drinks” direct from New Orleans placed conveniently on Duval. Ask for your tooter as well. 8 TVs, 1 pool.
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FINNEGAN’S WAKE
LGOM
320 Grinnell, 293 0222 • Probably the best draft selection in the lower Keys & a sweet outdoor patio. You can get food here till at least 1a & drinks till 4a.
FLAMING BUOY
✆FO
1100 Packer, 295 7970 • Fresh dishes & local seafood served daily. The lobster mac & cheese is a must. Dine in or take out with delivery as well. Open 6p Tues-Sunday.
FOGARTY’S
LFO
227 Duval, 294 7525 • Home to the Flying Monkey Saloon with Kyle & Ryan serving up the fastest frozen drinks in KW! Lunch & dinner at great prices. 16 TVs [6 in A/C!]
GRAND CAFÉ
✆LFO
HALF SHELL RAW BAR
WFO
231 Margaret, 294 7496 • Great raw bar on
the harbor walk & bar to kick a few back at & relax. Locals’ favorite every hour. Happy hour 4:30-6:30p.
HARD ROCK CAFÉ
FO
313 Duval, 293 0230 • The Keys’ very own Rock & Roll museum w/ a multi-level patio bar & restaurant. Plenty of Key West Hard Rock goods available, too. 9 TVs
HARPOON HARRY’S
zF
832 Caroline, 294 8744 • Unofficially one of
BarTab’s favorite breakfast places. [They don’t advertise, but we don’t have a lot of ‘morning’ advertisers]. Diner style, full liquor bar & low prices & breakfast till 3p!
WFOM
314 Duval, 292 4740 • Proving to be an
HOG’S BREATH
GRAND VIN
tourist crowd & also remains a locals’ favorite. Great bar staff & shucking bar & some of the best bands playing original live music in town. HH 5-7pm & 1-2am. 6 TVs, 3 bars
outstanding decision for lunch &/or dinner. Serving one of the best menus in town, plus mojitos & the Grand Margarita.
O
1107 Duval, 296 1020 • This wine shop/bar is
a great place to start or end an evening. Buy a bottle, then head to the porch for a table. Vin pours wine by the glass & a few beers.
GREEN PARROT
LM
601 Whitehead, 294 6133 • Probably the
biggest anchor in town. The best live acts in the Keys w/ a bartending staff who make slinging drinks look as easy as drinkin ‘em. 4 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, best jukebox in S. FL. 42 kwBarTab.com
400 Front, 292 2032 • Catering to a large
HOGFISH
WFOM
6810 Front [Stock Isl.], 293 4041 • Best place for live music on Stock Island. Their hogfish sandwich is a must! Breakfast Sat & Sun at 8a. HH 4-7p Mon-Sat. 4 TVs, 1 pool
HOT TIN ROOF
✆UWFO
0 Duval, 296 7701 • Delicious martini list &
slick lounge with Sheila & Jake. Sit back & take in the ocean view & the live music from the Sunset Pier @ the Ocean Key. Opens at 6p.
F
IN KAHOOTS
3850 N. Roosevelt, 294 9986 • Located at the
Holiday Inn, Kahoots serves breakfast all day & has HH from noon-7p.
IRISH KEVIN’S
LM
211 Duval, 292 1262 • Watch Guinness
chugging contests on stage, accompanied by live music all day long. Great new draft system with over 25 flavors! Dave & Heath behind the bar keep you sloshed.
ISLAND DOGS
LGOM
505 Front, 295 0501 • Street-side seating at
the hub of Duval. Live music Thurs-Sat. Nice blend of upscale & casual bar. Open late night w/ food till the crowd dies down.
JACK FLATS
SLG
509 1/2 Duval, 294 7955 • Great grub served
to 1a or later. This is the place to be on game day. Matt & Doug run things at night, Gretchen in the day. 38 TVs [12 jumbo] & audio boxes.
JDL’S BIG 10
UFO
303 Whitehead, 293 8484 • Spectacular
outdoor dining area to enjoy Key West’s days & nights. HH 4-7p on drinks & wings at the bar. Try one of the micro brewed beers poured by Christopher, Doug & Abby.
KELLY’S
UFO
303 Whitehead, 293 8484 • Spectacular
outdoor dining area to enjoy Key West’s days & nights. HH 4-7p on drinks & wings at the bar. Try one of the micro brewed beers poured by Christopher, Doug & Abby.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
GL
KOJIN
502 Street, 296 2077 • 6 different noodle
bowls, perfect apps, featured menu items & sakes to complement. HH 4-5p & 11p-12a, 20% off alcohol & their soft-egg shooter.
OL
KRAWL OFF DUVAL
FO
LOBO’S
5 Key Lime Sq, 296 5303 • Fresh ingredients
& prices you can’t beat in downtown Key West. Wraps, quesadillas, nachos & beer. Dine in or get it delivered. Open Mon-Sat 10a-5p or a little later.
✆WUFO
506 Southard • A few steps off Duval, Krawl offers the most tap craft beers in the Keys. Tuesday SIN 8p-close with drink specials & live music. Outside seating with corn hole & HH 5-7p.
LOUIE’S BACKYARD
ULFOM 1125 Duval, 296 6706 • Outside full liquor bar.
521 Fleming, 292 4962 • Calzones,
LA TE DA
Shows in the Crystal Room & piano bar. HH 12-7p on beer, wells & wine.
✆UF
LA TRATTORIA
524 Duval, 296 1075 • Probably the Keys’ best Italian! Classic cuisine & impressive wine list. The street side bar is perfect to sip on libations w/ Erin & Kathy.
SLO
LAZY GECKO
203 Duval, 292 1903 • The Gecko’s throwin’
the best party in town with a locals’ back bar that’s a great escape from the weekend madness! DJs Tues, Wed-Sat late night. HH 5-8p [till midnight Sun & Mon]. 15 TVs
LITTLE ROOM
UMLO
821 Duval, • The Keys premier jazz club.
Classy, without being too upscale, nestled perfectly on the 800 block of Duval. Live music nightly with HH 4-7p, $4 beers, $6 wines.
700 Waddell, 294 1061 • Hang out ocean side on the After Deck & sip on some of Louie’s passion. Lunch 11:30a & dinner 6p.
LUIGI’S SECRET RECIPES
zLG
FO
700 Duval, 292 4606 • A very classy &
relaxing dining patio complete w/ an outdoor bar. Sit back & watch the entertainment of Duval Street while dining or sipping on a cocktail.
MARGARITAVILLE
FM
500 Duval, 292 1435 • Daytime the restaurant
jams more than anywhere else on the island. Bands take the stage at 9p. Check out their ad for band schedule & for their 4 Orange Vodka drink of the month!
MARTIN’S
UFO
532 Margaret, 295 1300 •
Located in the back streets of Old Town, this is a Key West favorite. Owner & Chef Michael Wilson offers a classic menu w/ an island twist.
MR. CHEAPEE’S
L
423 Duval, 305 292 0486 • Cheapee’s offers
a wide variety of liquors & wines to suit every taste and every price range. Cigs, liquor, wine & beer right off Duval to-go.
MR. Z’S
LF
501 Southard, 305 296 4445 • Grinders, pizza,
sandwiches & pizza pies or slices. Just a half block off Duval & open till 12a w/ delivery. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
MANGOES
MICHAELS
UFO
917 Duval, 295 0111 • European-style fare nicely settled on upper Duval. With street-side lounge seating & a menu Chef Martin has
& the best cheesesteaks in Key West! Open till 4a every night, just a half block off Duval. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
MR. Z’S TOO
LF
2798 N Roosevelt, 296 5306 • Mr Z’s second location in New Town. This Z’s offers some indoor seating as well. Open 11a-midnight with the same great menu items. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
OLD TOWN MEXICAN CAFÉ
FO
609 Duval, 296 7500 • Subtle ethnic décor
enhances your Mexican experience. Beer & wine w/ a handful of Mexican beers, but we opt for the pitchers of sangria.
ORIGAMI
FO
1075 Duval, 294 0092 • Outdoor sushi
restaurant, coupled w/ astounding sushi & a large supply of sake, BarTab doesn’t need much more than that.
been perfecting for over 20 years in KW.
O
outdoor seating
M
entertainment
L open late W on the water A alternative lifestyle
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THE OTHERSIDE
ULO
420 Caroline • Rumors are this gentleman’s style, across from The Porch, will be offering sophisticated cocktails & promising to ba a new alternative for liberations in Key West.
PEPE’S CAFE
zOF
806 Caroline, 294 7192 • A Keys unique ‘diner’ is crazy busy for breakfast. Chances are there will be a bit of a wait, but it’s worth it. Full liquor bar & food served 7:30a-10p.
PISCES
✆UF
1007 Simonton, 294 7100 • This is as upscale
as Key West gets, having received awards from Zagats & AAA 4 diamond & original Warhols on the wall. Open at 6p & reservations recommended.
FO 915 Duval, 296 0669 • On top of 915, pouring POINT 5
a variety of beers, wine & liquor. Beautiful petrified wood bar top & a 2nd story balcony makes people watching easy while relaxing on Duval. Open 6p-2a nightly.
THE PORCH
LO
420 Caroline, 517 6358 • Local crowds
drinking carefully selected craft beers. Bottles of wine to go or camp out on the porch with $2 off drafts & wine 4:30-6:30p.
PRIME STEAKHOUSE
UWF
951 Caroline, 296 4000 • This tucked away
gem is located upstairs from Dante’s. Serving a steak & seafood menu that is complemented by an extraordinary wine list. 44 kwBarTab.com
FO
RED FISH BLUE FISH
407 Front, 295 7447 • Steps away from
Mallory Square, serving some of the best seafood in town great pre & post-sunset destination with $5 margaritas every day.
RICK’S
LOM
208 Duval, 296 4890 • Hormone-fueled crowds dance to DJs spinning dance melodies at 8p w/ 2 decks above Duval. Slushi bar, martini bar & Durty’s with live music out back.
ROOFTOP CAFE
UFOM
308 Front, 294 2042 • Great deck overlooking
Front St. Live music playing regularly with one of the better martini lists in Key West. Opens at 10:30a.
RUM BARREL
SGOM
SALUTE
WFO
1000 Atlantic, 292 1117 • Get to Higgs Beach for a terrific beach front treat. A casual atmosphere dishing up lunch & dinner. HH 4-7p w/ $1 off drinks. Opens 11:30a.
SANTIAGO’S BODEGA
✆FO
207 Petronia, 296 7691 • Over 30 tapas dishes & great wine. Escape the crowds at this cozy restaurant in the heart of Bahama Village. HH 3-6 w/ $5 tapas menu & drink discounts.
SCHOONER WHARF
LFOM
202 William, 292 3302 • Spacious marine-
side bar where the din of local chatter & live music fills the air all day. See the only Bar Magician in the Keys. 2 TVs, 1 pool
SEVEN FISH
✆UF
528 Front, 292 7862 • Here is your Eagles’ & Phillies’ Southernmost headquarters. Sweet upper deck with live music Tues-Sat. 10 flat HD TVs. More than 170 rums poured by Mel, Alan & John.
sleepy back streets, 7 Fish has become a favorite for “locals in the know.” Eclectic menu w/ emphasis on local catch.
RUMOR LOUNGE
1900 Flagler, 295 8880 • Great selection of
LM
430 Greene • Lounge steps from the 200 block. Happy hour 4-7p, & Sunday bacon happy hour all day Sunday. At night ladies dancing & sipping on one of their signature drinks.
SALSA LOCA
WFO
628 Duval, 292 1865 • Best authentic Mexican food in Key West! Eat chips & salsa till you can’t anymore. Open Tues-Sun 11am-10pm, 11p on the weekends.
623 Olivia, 296 2777 • Nestled in Key West‘s
SHANNA KEY
SLG
ales & great Irish food served till 3a. You can always find Barry & Peter up for a drink. 7 TVs, 1 GT ‘06, internet juke tunes.
SHOTS & GIGGLES
L
Greene & Ann, 414 8272 • Beer & wine bar,
& package store. 30% off at the bar HH 4:30-6:30p. Great place to stop for one & take a bottle to go.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
LFM
SLOPPY JOE’S
201 Duval, 294 5717 • There’s enough
entertainment from people watching alone, & also serving up live music all day. Check out the their Joe’s Tap Room Backroom Saloon.
SOUTHERNMOST BEACH CAFÉ
WFO
1405 Duval, 295 6550 • This beach side
restaurant braves the morning to serve breakfast. One of the few bars on Key West w/ a beach with chair rentals. Happy hour 4-7p $4 apps & $3 drinks. 5 TVs
LFOM 4 Charles, 517 6350 • Great place for a bite SMOKIN’ TUNA
right off Duval. Check out some live music nightly after 6pm. Happy hour 5-7p, 50¢ off all drinks.
SQUARE ONE
UFOM
1075 Duval, 296 4300 • In Duval Square
plaza, w/ a menu of largely American-style seafood. Try Patrick’s “Monkey Nuts.” B&L served 11am–3pm, Dinner starts at 6p.
SL 1126 N Roosevelt, 296 3352 • Housing over STICK N’ STEIN
80 TVs, 4 bowlingo lanes, 10 pool tables, 6 Golden Tees, this could be the entertainment capital of Key West.
STONED CRAB, IBIS BAY
LFOM
3101 Roosevelt, 294 4350 • Happy hour 3-7p, breakfast starting at 8a, with food served late night. Live music, public pool & Thurs movie night pool side.
SUNSET PIER
WFOM
0 Duval, 296 7701 • This could be the
beginning or end of your Duval crawl. A great place for sunsets on their extra long seated pier. At the Ocean Key Resort, try the Monkey Love cocktail from Al or Elin.
FO 1114 Duval, 509 7451 • T’s is in a bit of a T’S BISTRO
transition at the moment, but reviews of this place are always positive.
TATTOOS & SCARS
LOM
512 Greene, 517 6610 • Free BBQ every Sunday for football. Two 2-4-1 HHs 4-7p & late night Sun-Thur 2-4a. 1 pool, 8 TVs
TAVERN N TOWN
WFO
3841 Roosevelt, 296 3676 • Rated the best restaurant & bar in the US by Marriott guests.
The T&T has a 2-4-1 happy hour everyday, plus on Tues & Thurs $7 tapas at the bar.
L 218 Duval, 292 0486 • The slim staircase TEASERS
on Duval gets you access to plenty of girls hanging out all night long! Slick lighting & sound system with a Grey Goose VIP room.
TURTLE KRAALS
WFO
231 Margaret, 294 2640 • This harbor front restaurant serves a smokehouse fare w/
breakfast 7-11a. Awesome view at the TK tower bar. Great sunset view w/ HH 4-6:30p.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
L
VINO’S ON DUVAL
810 Duval, 294 7568 • 2 great tables on their raised on-street patio & offering 16 wines by the glass, a variety of wine by the bottles & beers. Open noon-1a.
VIRGILIO’S
LOM
524 Duval, 296 8118 • Upscale martini bar has live jazz music Wed & Thurs, rotating bands Fri & Sat & home of the $5 martini every Mon night!
VITO’S
FO
1019 White, 509 7716 • Lunch & dinner with
sandwiches, pasta & pizza in Vito’s courtyard seating. Kick back at the outdoor bar with a full menu & HH 11a-6p Mon-Fri 40% off personal pizzas, apps & drinks.
WHITE TARPON
WLO
700 Front, 295 5222 • Featuring Key Lime
martinis w/ graham cracker rims poured daily. Beer, liquor & wines, available to-go as well.
WILLIE T’S
LGM
525 Duval, 294 7674 • Late night menu with
panini, pizzas & more. Serving 31 flavors of mojitos & happy hour 4-7p with 50% off premium well drinks & beers. Mojito Mondays 2-4-$12. Bands throughout the week @ 7p & Fri & Sat @ 3p & 7p.
WORLD’S SMALLEST BAR
L
124 Duval, 294 8507 • The world’s smallest bar lives up to its name. Blink & you might miss it. This place stays open late night on Duval.
on the water
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8 L I V E E N T E R TA I N M E N T
B A C O N B L O O D Y S U N D AY A L L D AY E V E R Y S U N D AY !
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O P E N E V E R Y D AY T I L L 4 A M
BarTab BORED AT THE BAR BINGO BOARD Spot the following activities at the bar to complete bingo.
Group of 3 or more on their phones at the same time
Person wearing a lanyard
Bartender sneaking a shot
Someone reading a book by David L Sloan
Anyone wearing a Fedora
Walk-in from the street, to the bathroom & leave
Girl with a dog on her lap
Bartender being summoned with “Hey” or whistle
Homeless person dumpster drinking
Person requesting quarters
Asks how much a domestic beer costs
Burned tourist with raccoon eyes
FREE SPACE
Tourist Taking a photo with their iPad
Guy with backwards ball cap & sunglasses on
Public Display of Affection [PDA]
Bachelorettes with a plastic penis something
Group in matching T-shirts
Seat Dancer
Visible thong [or any underwear]
Couple Arguing
Tip left in loose change
Someone that has been ‘Over Served’
Female smoking a cigar
Someone mentions something on Facebook kwBarTab.com
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100 Beers of Solitude by Leigh Pujado The modern bar is becoming a very lonely place. I feel like we never talk anymore. Rather we sit atop our barstools, transfixed by our cell phones, oblivious to the potential company of other patrons. The bartender, who used to entertain us with stories, is busy texting back & forth with his girlfriend. Meanwhile your friend, the one who called you to come meet at this bar, is totally absorbed in a game of “Angry Birds.” So what do you do? You mindlessly surf the newsreel on Facebook, eavesdropping, stalking & living vicariously through the people who are narcissistic enough to post a narration of their everyday lives. You could come talk to me across the bar but you are afraid to interrupt my furious indexfinger-typing I’m performing into my iPhone, as I frantically email Larry BarTab about why my column is late. Technology has its advantages, but what kind of people are we when we allow a computerized device to transmit or even replace the majority of what once was human communication?
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What if we could all just put down the smart phones? Put them away, into our pockets & our purses, look one another in the eyes & just talk. I know many of us are out of practice so it might take a couple of attempts before we can get past the primitive musings about the weather. But let’s give it a shot. Go ahead. Tell the person next to you an interesting observation or if you cannot think of anything, posit a question in their direction. Use vocal inflection & facial expressions where emoticons would ordinarily be. And if you should find something funny, don’t say “LOL,” you can actually laugh out loud. Should you find yourself at a loss for words, I’ve put together some discussion topics designed to get the ball rolling. Would you rather have a tattoo of Justin Bieber or perform a nationwide shopping mall tour as a Justin Bieber impersonator? If you get the tattoo, it must be large & prominently placed & you may never get it removed. If you choose to do the tour, you must perform as if the job is a serious endeavor & the tour will last for one year.
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Which is the bigger taboo: Sleeping with your best friend’s mother/father or sleeping with your best friend’s ex? Assume all players are consenting adults & everyone is single & unattached. You may drink at any bar of your choosing at anytime as long as you wear a giant Oscar Meyer Wiener suit whenever you are drinking alcohol. Or you may wear whatever attire you like but you may only consume alcohol at Stick & Stein. Which would you choose? If you were sentenced to live the rest of your life on only one block of Key West, which block would you choose? Remember, you must live, work, eat, play, etc. on only this block. You may acquire the ability to fly but you will lose the ability to enjoy all music. Every song you once enjoyed sounds like a bad Jimmy Buffett cover & every artist or band you once loved now sings as if they are Teletubbies. Would you choose to fly or forego flying in exchange for normal music enjoyment? You can drink any cocktail you like as long as you sing to the bartender/server a full chorus of Brittany Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time” each time you order a drink. Or you may order without serenading the bartender but you may only order Yukon Jack shooters. Which would you choose?
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You are dating a person whom you find to be very attractive, intelligent, funny & interesting. It is your third date & for the first time, you go to the person’s house to pick them up. As they open the front door to greet you, you see a living room filled with toy unicorns, stuffed unicorns, unicorn paintings & ceramic unicorn figurines. Your date lives alone so the unicorns can only belong to him or her. Would you continue dating this person? If not, how would you get out of the situation? You are walking down Duval Street when a genie stops you & says you are going to die unless you drink a potion distilled from the sweaty panty hose of a drag queen & the urinal cake at Rick’s Durty Harry’s. The genie is willing to spare your life & allow you to avoid drinking the potion if you move to Pocotello, Idaho immediately. Is it “Down the Hatch” or “Here I come, Pocotello?” You can go on a date with anyone you like, but Larry BarTab, wearing a blue tutu & under the influence of much booze, will accompany you & provide a running commentary for the entire date as if it were a sporting event. He will highlight all your flaws, missteps & all action within said date. Will you still choose to go on this date? & do your chances of getting laid go up or down with Larry’s commentary?
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cleighpujado@gmail.com / drinkslingershandbook.com 51
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s r e id s n o C t s e W y e K City of
s e m a G g n i k n i r D n o Ban
by David L Sloan
g, Flip Cup Key West, FL - Fans of Beer Pon a sobering & Fuck The Dealer may be in for ove a experience if commissioners appr ities activ tive peti com on ban osed prop next at s rage beve holic alco involving month’s meeting. nance The proposed “Fuzzy Duck Ordi called, says in g bein is it as ” 822) 2.37 0-59 (FL3 person or part, “It shall be unlawful for any physical of form any in pete persons to com chance, or mental activity or game of skill, hol is speed or endurance whereby alco within city consumed as part of said activity of $150 limits.” It goes on to specify fines nd & seco the for $500 , ense off rst fi for the rs. ende off at repe for time minimal jail outrage Resident reactions ranged from “Someone’s to relief upon hearing the news. ass if they try gonna get a shot of B-6 in their
at a gay bar & stop me!” said the bingo host d balls. “I pulle he as et Stre al Duv on Upper money raise We o. bing It’s on. mean, come What’s the for charity & people win dildos. harm in that?” ents Some, more conservative resid t. “Drinkers didn’t share the same sentimen community & druggers are destroying our l activist. one drink at a time,” said a loca it makes “If it makes them unhappy, then to call me happy. I vote yes. I’m going ugh.” A The Citizens’ Voice. Enough is eno holics Alco of ter chap l loca the of member Anonymous who asked to remain ect aff anonymous said it really doesn’t verbiage her so long as there is no hidden mentioning coffee or cigarettes. How the commission will vote is city several anybody’s guess, but it appears A meter employees are in favor of the ban. king in drin maid claims quarters damaged tation games are jamming meters. Sani kwBarTab.com
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ased workers claim beer pong cups have incre oyees their workload six-fold. Public Works empl for the nsible respo are s game ing drink e believ poles, significant increase in stickers covering l Street. signs & news boxes across Lower Duva When asked how the ordinance would ney said affect tourists if it passes, the city attor d woul it e believ t didn’ but tain, uncer he was they rages beve the as long so em be a probl ic consumed during the games were in plast cups. The City Commission meets a month from this Tuesday. David L. Sloan is an author, artist, lyricist, time on satirist & a good-looking man with too much d copies of his hands. Get your hands on autographe ritaville, his books at Key West Island Books, Marga of other bunch a & rt, Airpo The tion, Planta ee Coff n.com/ places in town, or on Kindle at www.amazo go “Man single hit latest his out Check author/sloan. Whore” at www.soundcloud.com/davidsloan
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Sandwiches
Appetizers $7.99 Tex-Mex Rolls Egg Rolls w/ spicy Chicken, Corn, Black Beans, Cheese & Onion $9.99 Redenbacher Shrimp Bite sized Shrimp fried golden brown, with Cocktail Sauce $7.99 Tomato Lovers’ Bruschetta Baguette, w/ Tomatoes, Garlic, Mozzarella, & Balsamic Vinegar Quesadillas Chicken or Shrimp $8.99 w/ Jack & Cheddar, Peppers, Onions, Tomatoes & Jalapenos $7.99 Buffalo Style Chicken Wings Mild, Medium, or Hot with Celery & Bleu Cheese Dressing
Fresh Green Salads $9.99 The Bittersweet Endive, Arugula, Gorgonzola Cheese, Candied Pecans, & Spring Lettuce in a light Vinaigrette Caesar Salad $7.99 add Chicken or Shrimp $9.99 $9.99 Macon & Bacon Crispy Fried Chicken, Roasted Corn, Sweet Onions, Crunchy Bacon, & Maple Georgia Pecans, with Romaine Lettuce, & our own Home-style Ranch Dressing $9.99 Southwestern Chicken Salad Grilled Chicken, Roasted Corn, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Tortilla Strips, & Cheddar & Jack Cheeses, in a Spicy Lime Dressing
Sandwiches served with French Fries Delivered sandwiches served with Potato Chips $7.99 Cajun Blackened Chicken Sandwich Cajun Chicken w/ Cheddar, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion & Spicy Mayo $9.99 Caroline’s Famous Fish Sandwich Fresh Fried Golden Brown with Lettuce, Tomato & Tartar $7.99 Front Street Club Turkey, Ham, Provolone, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato & Mayo $8.99 Cuban Mix Pork, Ham, Bacon, Pickles, & Mustard on Grilled Cuban Bread $8.99 Rev. Joe’s Burger The BIGGEST, the BEST, served with Lettuce, Tomato, Onion add Bacon or American, Provolone, or Cheddar $1 each
Caroline’s Favorites $14.99 Chicken Broccolini Grilled Chicken Breast, Penne Pasta, & Fresh Broccoli, in a creamy Parmesan/Romano Sauce $16.99 Kingston Chicken Spicy Marinated Jerk Chicken with Rice, Black Beans, & fried Plantains (Breast & Wing with Bones) Blackened Chicken Pasta $12.99 Spicy Grilled Chicken Breast with Peppers and Penne Pasta in a Cajun Cream Sauce
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SALADS
CALZONE & STROMBOLI
SANDWICHES,
WRAPS & PANINI Add Shrimp 3.45 / Chicken 2.95 Cheese 8.95 House 5.95 Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan. Sandwiches served w/ pickle & chips Mixed baby greens, tomato, cucumber, Vegetable 10.95 Caprese 7.95 red onion & carrots
Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parm Cheeses
Fresh Mozzarella, Tomato & Basil with
Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Cheeses Stuffed with your favorite
tomato, romaine & oil & vinegar
9.95 with Onion, Mushrooms & Spinach grilled red onions, balsamic reduction & Pepperoni 9.95 Basil infused Olive Oil Ricotta, Mozzarella & Parmesan Italian 8.95 Caprese 9.95 Cheeses & Stuffed with Pepperoni Capicola, Sopressata, ham, provolone, Tomato, Fresh Mozzarella & Basil Signature Pie Filling 12.95 roasted red peppers, pickled red onion, Caesar
Romaine, Parmesan, Croutons in a house made Caesar dressing
531 Fleming Street 305.292.4962 Free Delivery in Key West
topped with Roasted Red Onion, Basil infused Olive Oil & balsamic reduction
Pacelli’s
8.95 toppings $1 ea Baby Greens, Candied Almonds, Dried meats:
Apricots, Gorgonzola Cheese & finished Pepperoni, Ham, Bacon, Sausage, with a Hazelnut Balsamic Dressing Hamburger, Meatball & Chicken
Spicy Tuna & Avocado
EXTRAS Bruschetta
7.95
Garlic Knots
4.95
Fresh Tomato & Basil on Crostinis
Fresh Baked Bread Knots Tossed with Garlic & Olive Oil Served with Sauce
Tuna Carpaccio
10.95
Thin Slices of Tuna with Lemon Juice, Salt & served on a bed of greens
Small 14” pie, toppings .75¢ ea 15.95 Large 16” pie, toppings $1.25 ea 17.95
Sicilian, toppings $1.25 ea
19.95
Fresh Mozzarella, Tomato, Basil, Garlic & Olive Oil
Acadia
Fresh Garlic, Spinach, Tomato & Mushrooms
Sesame Crusted, Rare Seared Tuna with Avocado, Scallions & Spicy Aioli
vegetables:
Onion, Bell Peppers, Basil, Black Olives, Tomato, Spinach, Fresh Garlic, Tomato & Avocado 9.95 Pineapple & Jalapeno Tomato, Avocado & Red Onion tossed in Lemon Vinaigrette & served on a bed of greens
Beet Salad
11.95
MAKE A SANDWICH
8.95
The Turkey
8.95
Pesto Chicken
8.95
Sesame Tuna
9.95
Marinated Portobello
7.95
Smoked Salmon
9.95
The Scarface
9.95
Marinated chicken, mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese & pizza sauce
Roasted Turkey, Havarti Cheese, Bacon, Mixed Baby Greens, Pickled Red Onion & a Garlic Aioli Roasted Marinated Chicken, House Made Basil Pesto, Mozzarella Cheese & Mixed Baby Greens
Sesame Crusted Rare Seared Tuna with Regular 7.95 Panini 8.95 Oven Roasted Beets stuffed with Goat a Wasabi Aioli Cheese with Pine Nuts, Mixed Greens & with your choice of bread, meat, 8.95 cheese, & condiments. Served w/ pickle Meatball Parm a Tarragon Vinaigrette House made meatballs, mozzarella & chips. Call for details cheese, Parmesan cheese & pizza sauce
PIZZA & SIGNATURE PIES
Plain, White or Tomato
Margherita
12.95
Grilled Chicken Parm
White or Wheat Dough Meat Lovers
Pepperoni, Sausage, Bacon, Ham & Meatball
Veggie Lovers
Onion, Bell Peppers, Mushrooms, Black Olives, & Spinach
The Godfather
Pepperoni, Sausage, Mushroom, Onion & Black Olives
The Greek
Feta, Spinach, Sundried Tomato & Artichoke Hearts
Chicken
BBQ, Buffalo or Bacon Ranch
Hawaiian
You guessed it. Ham & Pineapple
Also Serving Pizza By The Slice!!!
Mon-Thurs 11am-12am, Fri & Sat 11am-2am, Sun 12pm-12am
Baby greens, warm marinated portobello, roasted red onion, balsamic reduction & a garlic herb goat cheese Smoked Atlantic Salmon, Red Onion, Tomatoes & a Caper Cream Cheese
Capicola, Prosciutto Di Parma, pickled red onion, mixed greens, provolone cheese & our spicy mustard
•
15% Local Discount
YOU HUNGRY? AFTER MIDNIGHT! Breakfast Burritos • Waffles • Cheese Steaks Quesadillas • Mac ‘n Cheese • & More! 12am - 6am every Friday & Saturday night, it’s
at 425 Greene Street Key West, FL 33040
Catty Corner from Sloppy Joe’s Bar
www.amigoskeywest.com