GET WITH
THE NEW COOL
ON THE NORTH END
Rum Row at The Gates Hotel is the hottest new local craft cocktail bar and lounge, with live music, a killer pool scene, and cigar lounge. Grab some friends and be the first to get with the new cool. Happy Hour 4p-7p every day $3 Well Brand, Domestic Beer, $4 Wine $5 Draft of the Week, Frozen Drinks 305 320 0930 gateshotelkeywest.com 3824 N Roosevelt Blvd
CRAFT COCKTAILS
LIVE MUSIC
WED-SAT, 4P-7P | SUN 12P-6P
POOL SCENE
CIGAR LOUNGE
NOW OPEN!
#UNLOCKTHEKEYS
MORE THAN JUST A KEY TO
THE POOL Introducing Local Pool Club & Social Scene at The Gates Hotel. We love our locals so much, we created an entire club just for them. Membership unlocks all kinds of exclusive benefits. For a crazy-affordable annual fee, you get member-only access to the new cool. Get in today! STOP IN FOR MORE DETAILS AND DAILY PASSES
KWBT
Ingredients Restaurant, Bar & Nightlife magazine
10 BarTab Bar Buzz
island happy hour guide
BarShots 08
11 Music Calendar
margaritaville, hog’s breath, green parrot, rumor
16 Calendar of Events
open coming events in October & November 2015
Publisher Lawrence Bradley, Jr larry@bartabmag.com
16
20 20 Future Predictions That Will Change... by david sloan
20
25 I Have a Dream by leigh pujado
31 Profiles lisa elliot @ rum barrel, 528 front st andrea benatti @ point 5, 915 duval st tony baltimore / bartab bar chord
38 48
32 Map of Key West 38 Key West Predictions for 2065 by dan schwab
42 Restaurant & Bar Listings
information on over 100 key west bars & restaurants
52 Key West Bar or the Future by bill hoebee 6
BarTabMag.com
54
www.BarTabMag.com PO Box 4951, Key West, FL 33041 info@BarTabMag.com 305.292.6262
Cover Design Dan Schwab www.keytoons.com Words by Bill Hoebee billhoebee@clearchannel.com Leigh Pujado cleighpujado@gmail.com David Sloan sloaniv@gmail.com Contributing Photography Nick Doll www.nickdollphotography.com Contributing Words Dan Schwab The Key West BarTab magazine is a free publication distributed throughout Key West. Omissions in the BarTab are at the discretion of the publisher. All rights reserved & contents copyright 2015, LBJ Media, LLC.
8
BarTabMag.com
2 Cents
801 Bourbon
Agave 308
Bagatelle
416 Appelrouth 305.414.8626 Happy Hour 4-6p
801 Duval 305.294.4737 Key West’s premier drag shows every night at 9 & 11p Sunday is ‘gay’ bingo with Mitch at 5p
308 Front 305.294.2042 Happy Hour 4:30-6:30p $6 margarita, $4 wells & discounted beers & Taco & Teqila Tues
115 Duval 305.296.6609 Happy Hour 5-7p half price drinks with a $5-7 small plate menu.
Blue Heaven
Charlie Mac’s
729 Thomas 305.296.8666 One of the best outdoor venues in the Keys! Bloody Marys are the specialties here at their outdoor bar.
404 Southard 305.320.0204 Happy Hours 4:30-7p discounts on wells & drafts with HH food menu.
Free Bacon for eternity! with a 1 in 6 chance to get your drink for $1
10
Conch Republic
Cowboy Bill’s
631 Greene 305.294.4403 Happy Hour 4-7p 2-for-1 premium well drinks, all domestic & imported beers
610 1/2 Duval 305.440.2605 2-4-1 margaritas all day, every day with $3 PBRs & Rolling Rocks
Dante’s
Grand Café
Green Parrot
Half Shell
951 Caroline 305.293.5123 Happy Hour Mon-Fri 4-8p 1/2 off doms & wells plus a dozen shot specials $5 app menu & 3-4-$2 raw bar
314 Duval, 305.292.4740 Happy Hour 11am-5p with discounts on all frozen drinks, mojitos & margaritas
601 Whitehead 305.294.6133 Happy Hour 4-7p daily with “sound-checks” 5:30p every Fri & Sun. Monday night Bingo @ 7p
231 Margaret 305.294.7496 Happy Hour 4:30-6:30p with 2-for-1 drink specials & food menu with seafood specials & $5 items
Hog’s Breath
Hot Tin Roof
Irish Kevin’s
Island Dogs
400 Front 305.296.4222 Drink Discounts on all liquor & beer 5-7p Live music all day from 1pm-2a
0 Duval 305.296-7701 Sat & Sun Brunch $49/person includes unlimited a la carte menu & unlimited bloody mary bar
211 Duval 305.292.1262 Happy Hour open-6p $1 off Narragansett Lager & live music all day long!
505 Front 305.509.7136 Happy Hour 3-6p 1/2 priced wells, beers & wine with $5 food menu & 1/2 priced oysters
Jack Flats 509.5 Duval 305.294.7955 12 High Def Projection TVs with personal speakers to listen. Late night food till 1a
12
Kelly’s Caribbean
Keyviche
Lazy Gecko
301 Whitehead 305.293.8484 Happy Hour 4-7p $350 margaritas, $2 micro brews with $3 well drinks & $595 apps
421 Caroline 305.432.9440 Happy Hour 4-7p w/ bar menu apps, $4.50 drink specials. Locals night Thurs 30% off all night
203 Duval 305 292.1903 Happy Hours 4-8p 2-for-1 wells & beers with $5 food items
Luigi’s Secret Recipes
Margaritaville
Point 5
521 Fleming 305.292.4962 Happy Hour 3-6p 2 slices of cheese pizza & a domestic beer for $6
500 Duval 305.292.1435 Get an original Cheeseburger in Paradise! Along with signature margarita
915 Duval 305.296.0669 Happy Hour everyday 5-6p with 2-for-1 drinks & $5 Pizza open daily 5p full menu until 12am
Prime Steakhouse
951 Caroline 305.296.4000 Steaks, seafood, martinis & fine wine. Opens daily at 6p
14
Rumor Lounge
Santiago’s Bodega
Rum Barrel
Rum Row
528 Front 305.292.7862 Happy Hour 4-7p 2-for-1 domestics, wine & wells with an ‘App’ menu [try the Philly Spring Rolls!]
3824 N Roosevelt 305.320.0930 Happy Hour Mon - Fri 4-7p $3 wells, domestics, & frozen drinks $4 house wines $5 weekly draft beer
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon
Sunset Tiki
Sunset Pier
Tattoos & Scars
Turtle Kraals
4 Charles 305.517.6350 Happy Hour 5-7p Discounts on beers & well drinks with live music starting at 6p
617 Front St Happy Hour 5-7p sip on their famous 2-4-1 Margaritas on the rocks or well drinks
0 Duval 305.296.7701 Terrific Sunset View July, 8:19p Aug, 8:01p Sept, 7:31p Oct, 7:01p
512 Greene St Happy Hour 4-7p & late night 2a-close Sun-Thurs with 2-for-1 dom beers & wells
231 Margaret 305.294.2640 Happy Hour 4:30-6:30p with 50% off wells, beers & wines w/ food menu specials starting at $5
Virgilio’s
Willie T’s
524 Duval 305.296.8118 Home of Martini Monday $5 martinis 7p-close Live music most nights at 9p
525 Duval 305.294.7674 Happy Hour 4-7p Discounted liquor drinks & beers
Get 2-4-1 drinks daily or 10% off your food order at 25 KW bars & restaurants a with the Bar & Restaurant Cards.
430 Greene Happy Hour 5-8p with $3 wells & $2 dom drafts Sundays Bacon Bloody Marys all day.
207 Petronia 305.296.7691 Happy Hour 3-6p 5 tapas for only $5 1/2 priced beers, glasses of wine & sangria or $10 off all bottles & pitchers of sangria
www.KeyWestBarCard.com
15
KEY WEST
EVENTS Euro House Party Kelly’s, 301 Whitehead DJ Ivano Bellini will be playing Euro House music in the garden all night. No cover, no dress code [less in more] 9p
26 MONDAY Get Kinky Fetish Party Rumor, 430 Greene Kinky drink specials, sexy beats from DJ Buggy & just a touch of pain! The spankings start at 10p and go till 4a
Kinky Karnival Kelly’s, 301 Whitehead BarTab’s favorite way to start out the week. $20 gets you all you can drink 9p-midnight. 16
BarTabMag.com
the Porch to Mangoes, 430 Caroline & 700 Duval Starting at 8p at The Porch with the traditional running of the TuTu to Mangoes at 8:45 to start the party.
Wig & Heels Martin’s, 917 Duval With DJ Berni, $4 Well Drinks. $25 bottle pink champagne. This is a free event.
27 TUES-29 THURS the Red Elvises Green Parrot, 601 Whitehead The first night of 3 shows at the Parrot, the Elvises put on a high energy, not to be missed show.
28 WEDNESDAY the Red Party Fogarty’s, 227 Duval 15th annual party that turns the city red for an evening! Costume contest for best use of red & live DJ.
4th Annual Red Neck Party Lazy Gecko, 203 Duval with Green & Red shots specials & happy hour tailgate 7pm-close.
Dungeon of Dark Secrets 801 Bourbon, 801 Duval Play, voyeur, or take part in the show to unleash your darkest desires. Boys & girls, all welcome - wear as much or as little as you want, but dress to thrill!
.................................................................................
24 Saturday
TuTu Party
.................................................................................
2015 OCTOBER
27 TUESDAY
29 THURSDAY Halos & Horns Pool Party Dante’s, 951 Caroline 9th annual wet t-shirt contest & pool party at Dante’s, this is the best daytime party all week with lot of cash prizes to giveaway! Noon-6pm.
Why Don’t We Get Drunk & Lei’d Margaritaville, 500 Duval enjoy a beach party without leaving Duval. Beach Olympics, costume contests & DJ - everyone is guaranteed to get lei’d at this event. 8p
80’s Party Irish Kevin’s, 211 Duval Prepare your leg warmers and Members Only jackets. full 80’s band will keep you fighting for your right to party all night. 10p
Hosted by 801 bourbon& Rubberdoll The only strictly couples only event. Join fetish-minded couples in the Cabaret bar overlooking Duval Street. Coat check included & open bar from 10p-4a
The Smallest Parade Waterfront Brewery, 201 William On a replica of Duval of the parade route, build a float about the size of a shoe box to ride down the road. 5p
30 FRIDAY Living Art Airbrush Expo Ocean Key Resort, Zero Duval Dozens of beautiful models will be canvas for some of the best airbrush artists in the world.
Pirates Bash Rum Barrel, 528 Front Dress & drink like a pirate at the most outrageous Pirates Party in the world! 9p.
31 SATURDAY Fantasy Fest® Parade Truman Annex to Duval St The climax of a week of parties & debauchery. Plenty of private parties or just grab your spot on the street to watch the parade.
Dirty Doctors & Naughty Nurses Party Mangoes, 700 Duval The most pleasurable trip you’ll ever have to the hospital. 10p
30 FRI-04 WEDNESDAY Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band
30 FRI & 31 SATURDAY Virgilio’s, 524 Duval
03 TUESDAY Waterfront Brewery, 201 William
04 WEDNESDAY Green Parrot, 601 Whitehead The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band is a twenty-yearold bourbon in a room of vodka Red Bulls and PBRs; vintage yet timeless, exciting and still welcoming…” –MXDWN.COM
NOVEMBER 04 WED-08 SUNDAY 24th Annual Meeting of the Minds
.................................................................................
Kinky Couples Party
Sunset Pier, 0 Duval Come be amazed by the combination of beauty & creativity with $2,000 in cash & prizes. 8p
.................................................................................
Homemade Bikini Contest
Brace yourselves, the annual pilgrimage of Parrotheads arrive in Key West.
09 SUN-15 SUNDAY Powerboat Races Key West World Championship Race - High-speed powerboats continue Key West’s long standing tradition in a challenge described as the Indianapolis 500 of powerboat racing.
19 THURS-22 SUNDAY Eric Lindell Green Parrot, 601 Whitehead Key West blues favorite in back from NOLA for 7 shows at 6&9p. Info @ www.GreenParrot.com
18 WED-22 SUNDAY 4th Annual KW Film Festival Showcasing films from a broad cross-section of categories that offering opportunities for filmmakers, both aspiring and established, to show off what they’ve got. 17
18
BarTabMag.com
20 Future Predictions That Will Change Key West As You Know It from the Mystic Dave Sloan
2018: Key West is named the #1 Dive Destination in the world.
2020: Global warming creates permanent puddles. Island-wide speed limit is reduced to 10MPH after too many pedestrians are splashed.
2021: HARC approves ‘The SoMoPod” – affordable housing pods that look like the Southernmost Point Monument and can be placed in people’s front yards. 2022: Increased regulation from the Board of Health forces Sloppy Joe’s to change their name to Sanitary Joe’s.
20
BarTabMag.com
2025: Rising water levels render our sewers useless. All homes and businesses are mandated for retrofitting with rooftop cisterns and pump out connections by 2037. 2026: The three people who contribute 90% of The Citizen’s Voice comments retire. People stop reading it because all of the comments are good.
2027: Self-driving cars eliminate the need for parking. Driveways and parking lots are converted for SoMoPod affordable housing use.
2028: Facing a budget deficit, the city sells naming rights to major landmarks resulting in Instagram’s Southernmost Point, Chevrolet’s Mile Marker Zero and The World Famous Sunset at Ray-Ban Square.
2030: Google introduces a self-driving amphibious vehicle to navigate the regularly flooded streets of Key West.
2031: Wooden structures across the island are fitted with floats and stabilizer poles allowing them to rise up to 10 feet with increasing tides. 2032: The Chart Room serves its last free hot dog.
2033: Jimmy Buffett dies in a boating accident with a manatee.
2035: Trip Advisor switches to a multiple choice review system allowing guests to choose “Fuck You”, “I Love You” or “Fake Review By Friend” when rating a business.
2039: After three years in total submersion, the concrete of Duval Street is blown out to create the Duval Street Canal. 2040: Famed author and Ghost Hunter David L. Sloan dies and haunts the fuck out of you. 2042: Rooftop bars dominate Duval Street as their ground levels are flooded or converted to basement storage. 2048: The city commission bans fishing from porches and balconies. 2052: Technology has finally made it possible for most people to stay home all day, dick around on the computer, and masturbate. 2060: The Great Hurricane of 2060 destroys 90% of the structures in Key West. 2061: The submerged city of Key West is named the #1 Dive Destination in the world. David Sloan is the author of Roosters Are Assholes. Buy it at Island Books, 513 Fleming Street in Key West or on Amazon.com. Place thumb here to download predictions to your temporal storage facility
21
22
BarTabMag.com
䈀刀䔀䄀䬀 䰀伀伀匀䔀 昀爀漀洀 礀漀甀爀 挀栀愀椀渀
䤀匀䰀䄀一䐀 䐀伀䜀匀 䈀䄀刀 㤀䄀䴀-一伀伀一
䈀刀䔀䄀䬀䘀䄀匀吀 ć
䰀䤀嘀䔀 䴀唀匀䤀䌀
ćéć
㠀倀䴀
ć ćéć ćććć ¦Õ¥¢ é¨Õ¥¢ ć ć ć Fć ć ć
Ó Ó 㔀 㔀 䘀刀伀一吀 匀吀刀䔀䔀吀 簀 ㌀ 㔀⸀㔀 㤀⸀㜀㌀㘀 24
I HAVE A DREAM By Leigh Pujado
I worry about my island. Key West has been my home since 1999 and I worry about her the way one worries about their teenage daughter. What’s she going to become when she grows up? Is she changing too fast? Or has her growth been stunted? Has she fallen in with the wrong crowd? Do the people in her life truly have her best interests at heart? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” So, in honor of “The Future Issue” of BarTab, I have taken inspiration from the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and decided to re-write his infamous “I Have a Dream” speech, with a Key West twist.
I
have a dream that one day this island will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We are one human family.”
I have a dream that one day on Solares Hill the sons and daughters of Toppinos and Spottswoods will be able to sit down with the sons and daughters of Bahama Village and call one another “Bubba.” I have a dream that one day the atrocious, multimillion dollar Simonton Street condominiums, sweltering in the heated controversy of their developers’ ludicrous request for transient rental licenses, will be transformed into an oasis of affordable housing. I have a dream that nude-prude and Bubbaextraordinaire, Harry Bethel, will stop running for public office. I have a dream that more folks like Jolly Benson from the Key West Committee for Responsible Tourism, will step up to the plate to protect our reef and waters from runaway tourism that stands to fill the coffers of few. BarTabMag.com
25
I have a dream today, that the gardeners at the vacation rental next door will forgo running their noisy leaf blowers in favor of a more island friendly broom. I have a dream that the guy who plays the bucket drums in front of La Concha will become a monk and take a lengthy vow of much needed silence. I have a dream that Nine One Five will put the pork chop back on the menu. I have a dream that someday, no Key West bartender will have to accept a ‘Buy 1, Get 1 Free’ coupon from anyone in a Tommy Bahama shirt. I have a dream that someday when a group of restaurateurs and investors want to open a local brewery in a prime commercial location, it won’t take them four years of red tape and legal drama to bring it to fruition. I have a dream that those who feloniously rape and pillage our waters, who harvest undersize and out of season creatures, will one day be permanently relocated to North Dakota. I have a dream that the grown men and women of our service industry will one day be able to find their own affordable apartments and cease having to bunk like college roommates. I have a dream that the good citizens of Key West will one day learn how to properly recycle and sanitarily dispose of their trash so we can stop arguing about how many times a week we need trash pick-up. I have a dream that Bad Boy Burrito will eventually be open on Sundays. 26
I have a dream that someday, I will be able to get a table at Santiago’s after 6pm and before 10pm without making a reservation way in advance. I have a dream that one day every seedy t-shirt shop, every nasty tourist-trap, and every scam-artist store will be closed and we will once again be proud of our most famous street. I have a dream that one day the wealth of this great island will not be judged by the size and number of its luxury vacation homes, but by the content of its characters. And I have a dream that Mr. Chapman will once again ride his music machine bicycle down Duval Street. That music machine will have brand new, state of the art speakers, and from those speakers will soar Stevie Wonder’s ‘Pastime Paradise.’ “Let’s start living our lives Living for the future paradise Praise to our lives Living for the future paradise Shame to anyone’s lives Living in a pastime paradise.” Note: For you youngsters, ‘Pastime Paradise’ is from Stevie Wonder’s GRAMMY winning 1970s album ‘Songs in the Key of Life.’ You know the tune. You just think it’s called ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ because some douchebag in the 90s sampled Stevie’s original to create the theme song for that movie in which Michelle Pfeiffer so believably teaches English at an inner city high school.
cleighpujado@gmail.com
David Shaw at the Southernmost Resort & Hog’s Breath
Great Ceviche, Latin Cooking SUN.-THURS. 4pm - 10pm FRI. & SAT. 4pm -11pm
Happy Hour 4-7pm Everyday 2 Sport TVs 421 Caroline Street 305-432-9440 Keyviche.com
Keyviche@gmail.com BarTabMag.com
29
Lisa Elliot @ Rum Barrel, 528 Front St Full name, originally from?
Lisa Elliott from Maryland. Right outside D.C. How did you get into the restaurant business?
The Original Ledo’s in Langley Park. You might not know it down here, but I was a to-go girl at 14. & I’ve been stuck in the bar scene ever since. How long have you been mixing cocktails?
I don’t think I was officially bartending until 20 & I’m 37 now. How about a brief Key West work history?
A friend of a friend knew someone that worked at the Rum Barrel. In January, it’ll be two years & I’ve been there ever since. [laughs]
What’s an item ‘of the future’ you’d most like to have?
I want a hover board. & I’ve seen a couple people around the island, I’ve never gotten a good look, but I’ve seen people floating off the ground & I want one. I think there’s wheels on them.
Have you served any pirates yet?
Yes. [laughs] Absolutely. Frequently. & not always on theme days. There’s just randomly always a pirate around.
I want one without wheels, because I can’t walk. It has nothing to do with drinking. I’m a klutz. I walk into walls, I walk onto curbs, all the time. I need something that will walk better than me.
How about a typical night off?
That might not help your cause.
I like to walk Duval. I still like the sunsets, although one of the coolest things about working at Rum Barrel is being on the second floor. We’re on the southwest side of the island, so when there’s a gorgeous sunset, there’s a gorgeous sky. What’s something on Rum Barrel’s menu we should eat?
Everybody probably already knows about the cheesesteak egg rolls, they’re stupid good. Literally, that’s my explanation for them. When people try them, they agree. Still my favorite thing.
It might not. [laughs] That’s what I want. Do you have any other general shout outs or plugs?
Oh, my Rum Barrel peeps. I’m very lucky that where I have a job, it’s a fun family. I work with a cool bunch of kids. & we’re not all necessarily young age-wise, but I work with a cool bunch of kids. We’ve got a neat family. You can see Lisa behind the bar at the Rum Barrel, 528 Front St, home of the Southernmost Eagles Club. BarTabMag.com
31
RESTAURANTS & BARS 801
C4 1
AGAVE 308
A2 2
BAGATELLE
B2 3
BLUE HEAVEN
B5 4
CAROLINE’S DANTE’S / PRIME STEAKHOUSE
B3 5 D1 6
GREEN PARROT
B4 7
HALF SHELL/TURTLE KRAALS
D1 8
HAVANA CAFE
C4 9
HOG’S BREATH
B2 10
IRISH KEVIN’S
B2 11
ISLAND DOGS
B1 12
JACK FLATS
B3 13
KELLY’S CARIBBEAN
B3 14
KEYVICHE
B2 15
KWEST LIQUOR STORE
C4
LAZY GECKO
B2 16
MARGARITAVILLE
B4 17 H3 18
MELLOW VENTURES MR. Z’S / MR. Z’S TOO
9
C3/L2 19
POINT 5 / 915
C5 20
PRIME STEAKHOUSE / DANTE’S
D1 6
RUM BARREL RUM ROW @ GATES HOTELS
B1 21 O1 22
RUMOR LOUNGE
B2 23
SMOKIN’ TUNA SUNSET PIER / HOT TIN ROOF
B2 24 A1 25
SUNSET TIKI @ THE GALLEON
B2 26
TATTOOS & SCARS
B2 27
VIRGILIO’S
B4 28
WILLIE T’S
C4 29
1
A
B
C
D
E
26
2
12
25
3 2
3
10
8
F
G
6
21
27 7
16 11 23 24 15 14 5
4
28
17
13 19 29
7
9 3
5
4 1
4 20
6
7 1 1
STORES & SERVICES BAREFOOT BILLY’S BI-PLANE TOURS CAPRICORN JEWELRY
E7/F7 1 N6 2 C4 3
KW HAMMOCK CO. KAI & CO. SALON
C4 4 M1 5
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P 8
5 22 19
18
6
2
SALON SEASIDE SARGASSO CLOTHING
G3 6 B2 7
SUP PADDLE BOARD
P2 8
33
Andrea Benatti @ Point 5, 915 Duval St Full name, place of birth?
My full name is Andrea Benatti. I was born in Modena, northern Italy. It’s a small town near Bologna.
Chef de Profile
Where did you get your culinary start?
I was born in my grandmother’s restaurant in Ferrara, [Italy]. I spent my childhood, until 8, 9 years old, in the restaurant business.
Owning your own restaurant is what brought you to Key West?
Exactly. I did a couple years in the Culinary Institute in Italy. After that, I did a small internship in some good restaurant in Italy. I had the chance to become friends with Massimo Bottura, five-star chef in Modena, [Italy]. Owns the Francescana. He does all this crazy food, like a molecular thing. It’s awesome. After that, I would do a couple months in one place, a couple other months in other places. I made the decision to come to Key West. I moved here in 1997 I opened my first restaurant, Opera. Where did you go after Key West?
I didn’t want to go to the big city, like New York or LA. I chose Boston for different reason. Harvard, Cambridge - basically the culture. I found this small place, 27 seats, open kitchen. We did everything from scratch, me, my fiancé & her aunt- she did all the interior of the restaurant. It really became fantastic. Describe the style you’re doing at Point 5.
The background is the traditional Italian. With a twist of modern. I always pay attention to ingredients, to be sustainable as much as possible. Work with produce that are in season. 34
BarTabMag.com
Can you tell us a little about the menu?
Upstairs at Point 5, it’s more casual, not like downstairs at 915. I don’t want to say tapas, because in the end, the portions are pretty good sized. If we look at the menu, it’s a mix of 3 countries. There is some ingredients from Japan, from China & finished with balsamic vinegar, it’s Italian. We have pasta. Everything is handmade from scratch. If the Food Network gave you a show, what would you call it?
What would I call it? I would call it Kitchen Zero Waste. Or Zero Kitchen Waste. If you went shot-for-shot, who out-drinks who – you or Stuart [owner]?
Oh boy [laughs]. This is tough because, Stewie has – you know, he can handle. Well, we should do it one day, I never did with Stuart. He used to have Wax so, I don’t know. Probably I would drop first. Andrea is the Chef at Point 5, 915 Duval.
Key West’s
Premiere Martini Bar MAGICAL, MIND ALTERING LUBRICANTS FOR SOCIAL INTERCOURSE
For over thirty years Virgilios Martini Bar has been a local’s favorite, attracting locals and tourists alike for classic cocktails, live music, and late night dancing in our inviting garden bar setting. Live Music 7 nights a week Sexy Speakeasy
HOME OF THE ORIGINAL
M A RT I N I M O N D AY S
MON D AYS F ROM 7 TO C L OSE
ALL MARTINIS ARE $5.00
Extensive Martini list Late Night Menu
52 4 D UVA L S TRE E T BEH I ND L A T R AT TO R I A R ESTA U R A NT
305.296.1075
BarTabMag.com
35
Tony Baltimore
BarTab BarChord
Making his way to Key West via... Baltimore in 2011, Tony Baltimore has become a staple of the Key West music scene. BarTab sat down with Tony to find out more about one of the only people we know who can pull off a fedora.
Full name, age & from?
Anthony James Durante, I’m 37 & I’m from Baltimore. How did the name Tony Baltimore come about?
I was 23 & this girl from Virginia kept giving me a bunch of shit, telling me how Baltimore sucks. Finally, towards the end of the night I was hammered out of my fucking skull, I lost it & went off about how Baltimore’s amazing. It’s the 3rd oldest city in the country & the National Anthem was written there & it wasn’t adopted till like 1937, it was our National Anthem. I had said a couple of other unsavory things to her that I shouldn’t say out loud, but when that ended, my buddy Spencer Chris was like, ‘Tony Fucking Baltimore’ & that kind of stuck. What’s the first song you ever learned on guitar?
I want to say it was like part of either ‘Fly by Night’ by Rush or ‘The Weight’ by The Band. I think those are the two. Because I first learned a G chord & I kind of went from there. But I think it was one of those two. Who or what are your influences?
In no particular order, except for The Beatles, number one. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Noel Gallagher, The Smiths, Queen, The Beach Boys, The Grateful Dead. 36
BarTabMag.com
What other musician combos do you play with in Key West?
I play with Luis Vera quite a bit. Ross Brown, Larry Baeder. Usually those three. I have a band called the Scavocados who I play with. Me, Ross Brown, Luis Vera, Josh, Warren & Chris Thomas, when he’s in town. Why do you shave your head? I don’t like hair. Why do you have a beard? I’m lazy. What song do you want played at your funeral?
“Many Rivers to Cross,” maybe. Jimmy Cliff. Where do you see music in 50 years?
In the fucking gutter as long as Nickelback & Kanye West are around. How many more years here before you change your name to Tony Key West?
That’ll never happen. You can see Tony Baltimore around town at The Lazy Gecko, Virgilio’s. Sunset Tiki Bar to name a few places.
305.745.3874 mellowkw.com 1605 N. ROOSEVELT BLVD
38
807 peacock plaza 305.998.4449 WWW.KaiAndCoSalon.COM
39
40
BarTabMag.com
BarTabMag.com
41
Bar & Restaurant Listings Listings appear in alphabetical order. If you would like an update please contact us at info@kwBarTab.com Cheers! Get 2-4-1 drinks daily or 10% off your food order at 25 KW bars & restaurants a with the Bar & Restaurant Cards. www.KeyWestBarCard.com
UFO 416 Appelrouth, 414 8626 • An off the beaten 2¢
path gastropub w/ graffiti-tagged walls. Dishes from wings & burgers to yellowtail snapper & soft shell crab. 11a-11p 2-4-1 daily w/ 10% off food w/
801 BOURBON
LAM
801 Duval, 294 4737 • The front bar is the locals’ hangout. Drag shows upstairs at 9 & 11pm, bingo on Sun. Saloon 1 in back is not for the timid or faint-hearted. 4 TVs [w/ porn] Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
915 [NINE ONE FIVE]
✆UFO
915 Duval, 296 0669 • Mediterranean–American tapas menu w/ a tuna dome that can’t be missed. One of the finest wine lists in the Keys w/ ample indoor & outdoor seating.
AGAVE 308
ULF
308 Front, 509 7304 • Key West’s only tequila
bar, w/ over 70 different tequilas & 20 craft cocktails. Open 11a-1a or later, w/ HH 4:306:30p & food till 10p. Taco & Tequila Tues $3 tacos & $6 fresh lime margaritas. 42
✆ reservations
✆F
AMBROSIA
1401 Simonton, 293 0304 • Amazing bar, lounge
& restaurant. The new look may be a bit much to some die hard fans, but they are still serving up some of the best sushi in town.
AMIGOS
OL
425 Greene, 292 2009 • Tacos , burritos, nachos & more. 95% of their menu items are gluten free. Not only delivering Mexican food to your door, you can get margaritas or some beer too! 2
ANTONIA’S
✆UF
615 Duval, 294 6565 • This amazing Italian restaurant is one of Duval’s finest. 100s of wines by the bottle & authentic Italian menu. Lunch 11am-10p.
UF
AZUR
BEACH BAR @ the Pier House
WFO
1 Duval 296 4600 • Stop by for lunch or just sit oceanside at the bar & soak in some of their island drinks. Ask about their live music.
BETTER THAN SEX
UFL
926 Simonton, 296 8102 • Erotically charged
atmosphere, sporting dessert dishes like Jungle Fever & Missionary Crisp. Open daily 6pm-midnight.
the bier boutique
FO
BLACKFIN BISTRO
FO
1421 First, 741 7779 • Open Tues-Sun 11a-8p featuring a Midwest style menu with a kick. Eco-friendly packaging & craft beers. Try the chili, bison burger or the chicken on a stick! 918 Duval, 509 7408 • From breakfast inside
425 Grinnell, 292 2987 • Mediterranean fare at one of Key West’s chef owned restaurants. Breakfast Mon-Sat 8-11a, lunch Mon-Fri till 3p. Dinner 6-10p daily & Sun brunch 9a-3p.
w/ a view of Duval to late night dinner on the back deck, Blackfin offers savory bistro cuisine w/ a true Key West flare w/ fantastic outdoor dining. Get 10% off food w/ your
BAGATELLE
BLUE HEAVEN
LGO
115 Duval, 296 6609 • Lunch/brunch 9a-4p,
dinner 5-10p. HH 5-7p w/ small plates & drink specials. ‘Moon Lounge’ deck upstairs & out back is home of the Bag’s Full Moon Parties. Get 10% off food w/ your
BANANA CAFÉ
FO
1215 Duval, 294 7227 • French cuisine featuring crepes, baguettes & more. Breakfast or lunch served 8a-3p, 6-10p for dinner.
recommended
FOMN
729 Thomas, 296 8666 • Cats & chickens living
in harmony & an award winning wine list that complements extraordinary food. One of Key West’s best breakfast/brunch spots.
BLUE MACAW
FOM
801 Whitehead • Island eats & bar coming
soon with the largest bloody mary bar in the keys & live entertainment.
U upscale F food served G food served late S sports M entertainment
BLUE MOJITO
WUFO
601 Front • At the Hyatt, plenty of waterfront
UFO
CAFÉ SOLÉ
1029 Southard, 294 0230 • A few blocks from
couches to chill on. Light food served & full liquor bar & offering 20% locals’ discount. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
Duval & some of the most authentic cuisine this side of Paris. Fine wine, sherry & ports.
BOBBY’S MONKEY BAR
1202 Simonton, 296 4811 • A locals’ favorite w/
LADN 900 Simonton, 294 2655 • One block off Duval,
activities provided through the week. Karaoke 9:30p Mon, Thurs, Fri & Sun. Tues 7p pool tourney. HH noon-8p on beer & wells.
BOURBON STREET
LAO
724 Duval, 294 9354 • The ultimate guys-only
night out. Porn on TV, dancers on bars & pool w/ waterfall. Mon is movie night & 2-4-1 Tues. 16 TVs [2 big, 3 w/ porn]
UF
CAMILLE’S
a menu that changes daily. Serving a fantastic breakfast, lunch & dinner. HH 4-7p. Opens 8a-10p[ish]. Get 10% off food w/ your
SFO
CAROLINE’S
310 Duval, 294 7511 • This totally outdoors
bar/restaurant is awesome. Great for people watching & low priced menu items. Lisa & Bethany in command. Delivery available. 2 TVs
FSOL BOTTLE CAP OLMN 404 Southard, 320 0204 • BBQ & seafood with 1128 Simonton, 296 2807 • Cool lounge w/ a
rock n’ roll twist. DJ music Tues & Fri @ 10p. Pool room w/ a sic video jukebox. Parties every night, see their ad for info. Outside bar for those cool KW nights! HH 5-8p.
BULL & WHISTLE
LM
224 Duval, 296 4565 • Live music all day,
everyday. Get 2-4-1 margaritas [or one large] at the bar or grab a table & ask Lynn or Vicky for Debbie’s award winning Bloody Maria!
THE CAFÉ
509 Southard, 296 5515 • Mostly vegetarian
F
entrees, sandwiches & awesome veggie burger. Organic wines, specialty beers & herbal teas. Open daily Mon–Sat 11am-10p. Delivery or take out.
O outdoor seating
CHARLIE MAC’S
10HD TV to watch your favorite team on. Food served late night & HH 4:30-7p. Home of the Southernmost ‘Canes club.
CHEF DISTILLED RUM DISTILLERY
105 Simonton, 294 1441 • Key West’s first legal rum distillery. Taste it, watch it be made, buy it & enjoy. Get a tour through their distillery w/ lots of history. Open till sunset.
CONCH REPUBLIC
WFOM
631 Greene, 294 4403 • This open-air bar &
restaurant offers dozens of rums & then some. Plenty of seats at the bar, w/ live music every night. Be sure to ask about the rum sampler.
CONCH TOWN LOUNGE
LN
3340 N. Roosevelt, 296 4343 • This is a locals’
favorite New Town hang out. Awesome prices, 2 pool tables. You can bet on a late night crowd to have ‘one more’ on the way home with. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
CORK & STOGIE
ON
1218 Duval, 517 6419 • Booze & cigars, C&S is
open 10a-11p. Daily wine tastings & a great place to get Key West Factory cigars. Free Wi-Fi for customers.
DANTE’S
WFOM
951 Caroline, 293 5123 • Poolside drinking &
dining w/ HH Mon-Fri 4-8p all drinks almost half price. DJs every weekend, tons of locals pounding shots - this is KW’s premier public pool to get hammered at! 15 TVs Get 10% off food w/ your
DONS’ PLACE
LODN
1000 Truman, 296 8837 • Closed for only 3 hours a day. Opens 7a & stays open till 4a. 10 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, 1 GT, juke tunes.
EL MESON DE PEPE’S
FOM
410 Wall, 295 2620 • Great Cuban food located
on Mallory Square w/ live music daily. Dishing out the strongest Mojito this side of Cuba.
F
EL SIBONEY
900 Catherine, 296 4184 • When your pockets
are feeling light, Siboney can at least keep your belly full w/ great Cuban food at extremely reasonable prices.
L open late W on the water A alternative lifestyle N neighborhood bar D dive bar
43
FN
FIVE BROTHERS
WFOM
930 Southard, 296 5205 • BarTab’s breakfast spot for an egg & cheese on Cuban bread w/ a colada, but the Cuban mix is still the best in Key West. Open 6a-3p Mon-Sat.
GREENE STREET CIGAR CO
HOGFISH
10% off premium beers, wine & cigars, 2-4-1 on all dom beer.
for live music on Stock Island. Their hogfish sandwich is a must! Open 11a-12a. HH 4-7p Mon-Sat. 1 pool 10% off food w/ your
FLAMING BUOY
231 Margaret, 294 7496 • Great raw bar on the
✆FO
1100 Packer, 295 7970 • Fresh dishes &
614 Greene, 296 5499 • Open 10a-12a. HH 5-7p
HALF SHELL RAW BAR
WFO
local seafood served daily. The lobster mac & cheese is a must. Dine in or take out w/ delivery as well. Open 6p Tues-Sunday.
harbor walk & bar to kick back a few back at & relax. Fish house as well to take your favorite fresh catch to go. A/C-ed bar area w/ shuffle board.
FOGARTY’S
HARPOON HARRY’S
LFO
227 Duval, 294 7525 • Home to the Flying
FM
832 Caroline, 294 8744 • Best known for their
Monkey Saloon w/ Kyle & Ryan serving up the fastest frozen drinks in KW! Lunch & dinner at great prices. 16 TVs [6 in A/C!]
diner style breakfast. Food served all day, full liquor bar & low prices & breakfast till 3p.
GRAND CAFÉ
313 Duval, 293 0230 • The Keys’ very own Rock & Roll museum w/ a multi-level patio bar & restaurant. Plenty of Key West Hard Rock goods available, too. 9 TVs
✆LFO
314 Duval, 292 4740 • Proving to be an
outstanding decision for lunch &/or dinner. Serving one of the best menus in town, plus mojitos & the Grand Margarita.
ON 1107 Duval, 296 1020 • This wine shop/bar is a GRAND VIN
great place to start or end an evening. Buy a bottle, then head to the porch for a table. Vin pours wine by the glass & a few beers.
GREEN PARROT
LMDN
601 Whitehead, 294 6133 • Probably the biggest anchor in town. The best live acts in the Keys w/ a bartending staff who make slinging drinks look as easy as drinkin ‘em. 4 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, best jukebox in south Florida. 44
BarTabMag.com
✆ reservations
HARD ROCK CAFÉ
FO F
HAVANA CAFE
703 Duval, 294 2626 • American/Cuban inspired
cuisine serving breakfast, brunch & lunch. Get authentic Cuban coffee, beer, wine or liquor drinks. Open at 8am daily.
HOG’S BREATH
WFOM
400 Front, 292 2032 • Catering to a tourist
crowd, but also remains a locals’ favorite. Great bar staff & shucking bar & some of the best bands playing original live music in town. HH 5-7pm & 1-2am. 6 TVs, 3 bars
recommended
6810 Front [Stock Isl.], 293 4041 • Best place
HOT TIN ROOF
✆UWFO
0 Duval, 296 7701 • Delicious martini list &
slick lounge. Sit back & take in the ocean view w/ one of the best menus in Key West @ the Ocean Key. Serving breakfast, lunch & dinner. Get 10% off food w/ your
HURRICANE HOLE
WFO
5110 Overseas Hwy, 294 0200 • At Hurricane
Hole Marina, across the Stock Isl. bridge. A haven for locals to hang out on the water w/ full liquor bar.
IRISH KEVIN’S
LM
211 Duval, 292 1262 • Guinness chugging
contests on stage, accompanied by live music all day long. Full liquor & over 25 draft aiding the staff here to keep you sloshed.
ISLAND DOGS
LGOM
505 Front, 509 7136 • Street-side seating just
steps off Duval. Live music Thurs, Fri & Sat. Nice blend of casual & upscale bar. Open late w/ food till the crowd dies down. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
JACK FLATS
SLG
509 1/2 Duval, 294 7955 • Great grub served to
1a or later. This is the place to be on game day. Matt & Doug run things at night, Gretchen in the day. 38 TVs [12 jumbo] & audio boxes.
U upscale F food served G food served late S sports M entertainment
UFO
KELLY’S
301 Whitehead, 293 8484 • Spectacular outdoor
KWEST LIQUOR
FL
705 Duval, 294 5995 • All your liquor, beer,
dining area to enjoy Key West’s days & nights. HH 4-7p on drinks & food at the bar. Try one of the micro brewed beers.
wine, smoke, lotto, snacks & fried needs right on Duval. KWest will also deliver whatever you need [min $75].
KEYVICHE
LA TE DA
UF
421 Caroline, 432 9440 • Seafood eatery w/ a
ULFOM
1125 Duval, 296 6706 • Outside full liquor bar.
Latin flare. Open 4p-10p Sun-Thurs, 11p Sat & Sun. HH 4-7p w. bar menu apps, $4.50 drink specials. Locals night Thurs 30% off all night.
Shows in the Crystal Room & piano bar. HH 12-7p on beer, wells & wine.
KOJIN
524 Duval, 296 1075 • Classic cuisine &
GL 502 Southard, 296 2077 • 6 different noodle
bowls, perfect apps, featured menu items & sakes to complement. HH 4-5p & 11p-12a, 20% off alcohol & their soft-egg shooter Get 10% off food w/ your
KRAWL OFF DUVAL
OL
506 Southard • A few steps off Duval, Krawl
offers the most tap craft beers in the Keys. Tuesday SIN 8p-close w/ drink specials & live music. Outside seating & HH 5-7p.
O outdoor seating
LA TRATTORIA
✆UF
impressive wine list - probably the Keys’ best Italian! The street side bar is perfect to sip on libations w/ over 20 speciality martinis.
LA TRATTORIA OCEANSIDE
✆UF
3593 S Roosevelt, 295 6789 • La Trat’s second
location up town. Perfect for those who want to avoid downtown or like parking. Very creative seating layout w/ the quality menu you expect.
SLO
THE LAZY GECKO
203 Duval, 292 1903 • The Gecko’s throwin’ the
best party in town w/ a locals’ back bar that’s a great escape from the weekend madness. DJs Tues, Wed-Sat late night. HH 4-8p, 15 TVs
LITTLE ROOM JAZZ CLUB
MLO
821 Duval • The Keys premier jazz club. Classy
without being too upscale, located perfectly on the 800 of Duval. HH 4-7p & live music nightly. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
MANGIA MANGIA
FO
900 Southard, 294 2469 • Fresh seafood,
homemade pasta made daily & the Keys’ most famous pesto. Great outdoor garden to dine in. Offering over 400 different bottles of wine. Get 10% off food w/ your
MANGOES
UFO
700 Duval, 292 4606 • A very classy & relaxing
dining patio complete w/ an outdoor bar. Sit back & watch the entertainment of Duval Street while dining or sipping on a cocktail.
L open late W on the water A alternative lifestyle N neighborhood bar D dive bar
MARTIN’S
UFO
917 Duval, 295 0111 • European-style fare nicely settled on upper Duval. w/ street-side lounge seating & a menu Chef Martin has been perfecting for over 20 years in KW.
MICHAELS
UFO
532 Margaret, 295 1300 • Located in the back
streets of Old Town, this is a Key West favorite. Owner & Chef Michael Wilson offers a classic menu w/ an island twist.
L
MR. CHEAPEE’S
423 Duval, 305 292 0486 • Cheapee’s offers a
wide variety of liquors & wines to suit every taste & every price range. Cigs, liquor, wine & beer right off Duval to-go.
MR. Z’S
LF
501 Southard, 305 296 4445 • Grinders, pizza, & the best cheesesteaks in Key West! Open till 4a every night, just a half block off Duval. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
✆ reservations
MR. Z’S TOO
LF
2798 N Roosevelt, 296 5306 • Mr Z’s second
ORIGAMI 1075 Duval, 294 0092 • Outdoor sushi
FO
location in New Town. This Z’s offers some indoor seating as well. Open 11a-midnight w/ the same great menu items. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
restaurant, coupled w/ astounding sushi & a large supply of sake, BarTab doesn’t need much more than that.
OLD TOWN GROCER
420 Caroline, 517 6358 • Classic cocktails
FN 1101 Whitehead, 453 6643 • Made to order
sandwiches & premium condiments. As well as craft beers & wines. M-Sat 9a-7p, Sun 10a-5p. Free delivery in KW.
FO
THE OTHER SIDE
ULO
& Tom foolery. Handcrafted cocktails made from the highest quality spirits & ingredients. Open 5p-2a.
POINT 5
FO
609 Duval, 296 7500 • Subtle ethnic décor enhances your Mexican experience. Beer & wine w/ a handful of Mexican beers, but we opt for the pitchers of sangria.
915 Duval, 296 0669 • Craft cocktails, beers, fine wines & eats. 2nd story balcony overlooking Duval, perfect for people watching. Full menu until 12am. HH 5-6 daily with $5 pizzas & half priced cocktails.
ORCHID BAR
POUR DECISIONS
OLD TOWN MEXICAN CAFÉ
UO
1004 Duval, 296-9915 • This small boutique
bar is found at the Orchid Inn. Open noon-10p [or later], 20% off all drinks HH 5-7p. Try the infused jalapeño & tomato vodka.
recommended
FOMLND
420 Angela, 440 2606 • Open at 1 till late
night. HH prices for nice people all the time. $2 tacos & $5 burgers all day.
U upscale F food served G food served late S sports M entertainment
FM
MARGARITAVILLE
500 Duval, 292 1435 • Daytime the restaurant
LF
MR. Z’S TOO
2798 N Roosevelt, 296 5306 • Mr Z’s second
jams more than most on the island. Bands take the stage at 9p Tues-Sunday. If you didn’t know already, try a margarita & cheeseburger.
location in New Town. This Z’s offers some indoor seating as well. Open 11a-midnight w/ the same great menu items.
MARTIN’S
See their menu in the back of BarTab.
UFO
917 Duval, 295 0111 • European-style fare nicely settled on upper Duval. w/ street-side lounge seating & a menu Chef Martin has been perfecting for over 20 years in KW.
MELLOW VENTURES
FOMWN
1605 N Roosevelt, 745 3874 • Good brew, solid food by death by täkõ. Breakfast, lunch, tacos, mellow times. Paddle board tours, rentals & fitness classes available. Open 10a-9p.
UFO
MICHAELS
532 Margaret, 295 1300 • Located in the back
streets of Old Town, this is a Key West favorite. Owner & Chef Michael Wilson offers a classic menu w/ an island twist.
L
MR. CHEAPEE’S
423 Duval, 292 0486 • Cheapee’s offers a wide
variety of liquors & wines to suit every taste & every price range. Cigs, liquor, wine & beer right off Duval to-go.
LF
MR. Z’S
501 Southard, 296 4445 • Grinders, pizza, & the best cheesesteaks in Key West! Open till 4a every night, just a half block off Duval. See their menu in the back of BarTab.
✆ reservations
FO 609 Duval, 296 7500 • Subtle ethnic décor OLD TOWN MEXICAN CAFÉ
THE PORCH
LON
420 Caroline, 517 6358 • Local crowds drinking
carefully selected craft beers. Bottles of wine to go or camp out on the porch w/ $2 off drafts & wine 4:30-6:30p.
PRIME STEAKHOUSE
✆UWOF
951 Caroline, 296 4000 • This could be one
enhances your Mexican experience. Beer & wine w/ a handful of Mexican beers, but we opt for the pitchers of sangria.
of our favorites. Excellent steaks & seafood entrees, complimented by an outstanding wine list. The bone-in filet is the house specialty. Opens at 6p daily.
ORCHID BAR
RED FISH BLUE FISH
UO
1004 Duval, 296-9915 • This boutique bar is
found at the Orchid Inn. Open 12p-10p or later, HH 5-7p 20% off all drinks. Try the infused pineapple or jalapeño & tomato vodkas.
ORIGAMI
1075 Duval, 294 0092 • Outdoor sushi
FO
restaurant, coupled w/ astounding sushi & a large supply of sake, BarTab doesn’t need much more than that.
THE OTHER SIDE
ULO
420 Caroline, 517 6358 • Classic cocktails &
Tom foolery. Handcrafted cocktails made from the highest quality spirits & ingredients. Open 5p-2a.
POINT 5
FO
915 Duval, 296 0669 • Craft cocktails, beers, fine wines & eats. 2nd story balcony overlooking Duval, perfect for people watching. Full menu until 12am. Opens at 5pm in season w/ a menu focused on Italian fusion dishes.
recommended
FO
407 Front, 295 7447 • Steps away from Mallory
Square, serving some of the best seafood in town great pre & post-sunset destination w/ $5 margaritas every day. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
ROOFTOP CAFE
UFOM
308 Front, 294 2042 • Great deck overlooking Front St. Live music playing regularly w/ one of the better martini lists in Key West. 2-4-1 daily w/ 10% off food w/
ROOSTICA
FO
528 Front, 292 7862 • Wood-burning oven
pizzas & other Italian selections. PT’s throwback menu items every Thurs. Open daily 11a-10p. Get 10% off food w/ your
RUM BARREL
SGOM
528 Front, 292 7862 • This is your Eagles,
Phillies, Flyers & 76ers’ Southernmost headquarters. Sweet upper deck w/ live music Wed-Sat. 10 HD TVs & more than 170 rums.
U upscale F food served G food served late S sports BarTabMag.com M entertainment 47
WUFO
SHOR
601 Front, 809 4000 • Ocean view & delicious
cuisine. American Seafood Grill is the restaurant to experience fine dining in Key West.
LN
SHOTS & GIGGLES
Greene & Ann, 414 8272 • Beer & wine bar, &
package store. 30% off at the bar HH 4:306:30p. Great place to stop for one & take a bottle to go.
LFM
SLOPPY JOE’S
201 Duval, 294 5717 • There’s enough
entertainment from people watching alone, & also serving up live music all day. Check out Joe’s Tap Room Backroom Saloon.
SOUTHERNMOST BEACH CAFÉ
WFO
1405 Duval, 295 6550 • Beach side restaurant that braves the morning to serve breakfast. One of the few bars on Key West w/ a beach & chair rentals. HH Sun-Thur 4-6p. 6 TVs
SMOKIN’ TUNA
LFOM
4 Charles, 517 6350 • Great seafood & raw bar,
w/ live music nightly @ 6pm-1am by amazing singer / songwriter. Grab a world famous t-shirts right off Duval. Food till 11p.
SQUARE ONE
UFOM
1075 Duval, 296 4300 • In Duval Square plaza, a menu of modern cuisine from small plates to entrees. Open 5:30-10p, Wed-Sun 10a-3p w/ HH 4-6p discounted drinks & bar menu. Get 10% off food w/ your 48
BarTabMag.com
✆ reservations
LFOW
STONED CRAB
3101 Roosevelt, 294 4350 • At the Ibis Bay
TURTLE KRAALS
WFO
231 Margaret, 294 2640 • Now offering Cuban/
Resort, breakfast starting at 8a, & food served till 10:30p. 10% off food w/ 2-4-1 daily w/
Caribbean flavors, the island’s only ceviche bar, & a return to the glory days of the Tower Bar.
SUNSET PIER
VINO’S ON DUVAL
WFOM
L
810 Duval, 294 7568 • 2 great tables on their
0 Duval, 296 7701 • This could be the
beginning or end of your Duval crawl. A great place for sunsets on their extra long seated pier. Located at the Ocean Key Resort. Get a 2-4-1 daily w/ your
raised on-street patio & offering 16 wines by the glass, a variety of wine by the bottle & beers. Open noon-1a.
SUNSET TIKI @ GALLEON
524 Duval, 296 8118 • Upscale martini bar with
FOMW
VIRGILIO’S
LOM
617 Front, 295 0207 • One of the few places for casual dinning on the water. Massive deck & live music everyday. Food 8a-8p with breakfast all day.
live blues Wed, Latin night Thurs, & rotating bands Fri & Sat. Home of the $5 martini every Mon night! Food served till close, open 7p-2a [or later].
TATTOOS & SCARS
WATERFRONT BREWERY
LOM
FOW
no matter what & the only place in Key West to catch all the UFC fights. 2-4-1 HHs 4-7p daily & late night Sun-Thur 2a-close. 1 pool, 8 TVs
201 William, 440 2270 • Full liquor bar & craft drafts from Florida including their award winning beers made by the on site brew master. Open 11a-11p, maybe till 1a.
TAVERN N TOWN
WILLIE T’S
512 Greene, 517 6610 • Open till 4am everyday
WFO
3841 Roosevelt, 296 3676 • Rated the best
restaurant & bar in the US by Marriott guests. The T&T has a 2-4-1 HH everyday, plus on Tues & Thurs $7 tapas at the bar.
TEASERS
218 Duval, 292 0486 • The slim staircase
L
on Duval gets you access to plenty of girls hanging out all night long! Slick lighting & sound system VIP room.
recommended
LGMO
525 Duval, 294 7674 • Serving 31 flavors of
mojitos & HH 4-7p w/ discounted drinks. Late night menu w/ panini, pizzas & more. Mojito Mondays 2-4-$12. Bands throughout the week @ 7p & Fri & Sat @ 3p & 7p.
WORLD’S SMALLEST BAR
LD
124 Duval, 294 8507 • This bar lives up to its
name. Blink & you might miss it. This place stays open late night on Duval.
U upscale F food served G food served late S sports M entertainment
50
BarTabMag.com
BarTabMag.com
51
Key West Bar of
the Future
I
by Bill Hoebee
’d like to start out by saying that global warming experts say that Key West will be under water in the not to distant future. If they’re wrong, perhaps the following could happen? For over 20 years I have done a daily radio show in which I have to do extensive daily research. Most of it involves highlighting the stupidity of people. I do this to make me & my listeners feel better about our own state of mental health. Many of these dunces did their deeds under the influence of booze & drugs. Some of the other things I talk about are advances in health & technology. Some are stupid & some seem like they could work. & some actually involve partying. Several months ago, I read an article about a scientist who says he mastered turning booze into vapor. It’s already been done with cigarettes & weed. You can “smoke” both in places now where you couldn’t before. By eliminating the parts in both that are not
52
BarTabMag.com
necessary, for people to enjoy them while partaking in these products. These same scientist say they can now do it with booze. They say, the research & testing showed that vaporizing booze, & just taking a few huffs [or whatever] folks could get the buzz they want without a) Booze Breath, b) Hangovers, & c) The Cost-this would eliminate the need for cups, mixers, bottles, fruit & the shipping & delivery of said products. Now factor in the advances of technology which brings us to the ‘Virtual World’ - Google glasses,
video games, flight simulators, etc., which allows humans to virtually experience dangerous things like fighting, stealing, racing, sex & much, much more with no real danger to the players & then allow the player to review & enjoy the experience & even share with friends. Now, with that being said, just about everyone knows somebody who can’t handle the party scene-weather it be the fighter, crier, drama queen with a heightened state of jealousy, the puker, the sleeper, the wasted driver, the non-tipper. The virtual party of the future will eliminate the need to deal with any of this. Scientist say that in the future people will be able to go into a booth where they create the perfect “Party Partners”, places, & scenarios they want. Imagine a world where you can relax & enjoy your buzz & everyone loves you no matter how annoying & needy you are. Everyone wants to hear your stories again & again & when its all over, you get another huff of a vitamin-likedose & “poof” it’s over. No hangover, no drunk driving, no people telling you all the fucked up stuff you did while you were wasted. Your wallet, clothes, shoes, sunglasses & dignity all still there. In your virtual party where you create the cast & crew. You spend a little time putting together the people you want there, whether it’s people you love or you hate - you always win. No burnt bridges, no jail, no emergency room, no lost job, all the fun, none of the regrets. Say for example their is someone in real life you hate or wanna have sex with or like to hang out with like
a celeb. Have the computer create them in your virtual buzz world. Press the button & boom you picked up & have crazy sex with the partner of your dreams, married, single, gay, straight, both it doesn’t matter, no matter how awkward your pick up attempts in the past have been, in your world, your George Fuckin’ Clooney. No whiskey dick, no Viagra. Say there’s someone you hate who always wants to fight when they get wasted. Guess who wins the fight with no black eyes or sore hands & gets a big round of applause from everyone else for getting rid of this douchebag? You! Because the booze is vaporized you also won’t have to wait in line for the bathroom. You’re interesting fun & the life of the party, & when it’s all over, the computer gives you photos of your incredible night out & all the cool ‘virtual stuff’ that happened when you were blacked out as opposed to your friends or bartenders telling you later. Technology experts say that all this stuff could be in our party future, but until then try to remember that booze, whether it be liquor or vaporized, lowers our inhibitions & perhaps in the real world other patrons of the bar might not be down with what you are up to. Maybe someday lock yourself in your Party Box & let it rip! So... have a great night if you feel like it... but if you don’t try not to ruin anyone else’s, especially mine... ta ta. Bill Hoebee is on 2-7pm weekdays on the Florida Keys #1 radio show, “Hoebee in the Afternoon” on SUN 99.5 FM & is also the host of Keys TV’s Club Hour. 53
Sandwiches Sandwiches served with French Fries Delivered sandwiches served with Potato Chips $7.99 Cajun Blackened Chicken Sandwich Cajun Chicken w/ Cheddar, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion & Spicy Mayo
Appetizers $7.99 Tex-Mex Rolls Egg Rolls w/ spicy Chicken, Corn, Black Beans, Cheese & Onion $9.99 Redenbacher Shrimp Bite sized Shrimp fried golden brown, with Cocktail Sauce $7.99 Tomato Lovers’ Bruschetta Baguette, w/ Tomatoes, Garlic, Mozzarella, & Balsamic Vinegar Quesadillas Chicken or Shrimp $8.99 w/ Jack & Cheddar, Peppers, Onions, Tomatoes & Jalapenos $7.99 Buffalo Style Chicken Wings Mild, Medium, or Hot with Celery & Bleu Cheese Dressing
Fresh Green Salads $9.99 The Bittersweet Endive, Arugula, Gorgonzola Cheese, Candied Pecans, & Spring Lettuce in a light Vinaigrette Caesar Salad $7.99 add Chicken or Shrimp $9.99 $9.99 Macon & Bacon Crispy Fried Chicken, Roasted Corn, Sweet Onions, Crunchy Bacon, & Maple Georgia Pecans, with Romaine Lettuce, & our own Home-style Ranch Dressing $9.99 Southwestern Chicken Salad Grilled Chicken, Roasted Corn, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Tortilla Strips, & Cheddar & Jack Cheeses, in a Spicy Lime Dressing
$9.99 Caroline’s Famous Fish Sandwich Fresh Fried Golden Brown with Lettuce, Tomato & Tartar $7.99 Front Street Club Turkey, Ham, Provolone, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato & Mayo $8.99 Cuban Mix Pork, Ham, Bacon, Pickles, & Mustard on Grilled Cuban Bread $8.99 Rev. Joe’s Burger The BIGGEST, the BEST, served with Lettuce, Tomato, Onion add Bacon or American, Provolone, or Cheddar $1 each
Caroline’s Favorites $14.99 Chicken Broccolini Grilled Chicken Breast, Penne Pasta, & Fresh Broccoli, in a creamy Parmesan/Romano Sauce $16.99 Kingston Chicken Spicy Marinated Jerk Chicken with Rice, Black Beans, & fried Plantains (Breast & Wing with Bones) Blackened Chicken Pasta $14.99 Spicy Grilled Chicken Breast with Peppers and Penne Pasta in a Cajun Cream Sauce
58
BarTabMag.com
live music great food & drinks • stunning views Serving Lunch & Dinner
oceankey.com | 305-296-7701 | Zero Duval Street, Key West, FL
BarTabMag.com
61