62 Manner: behaviour and body language

A

B Manners

Courtesy is still important nowadays. [politeness and respect] The teacher said her students were always very courteous. [polite and respectful] She addressed the customer in a very discourteous manner. [impolite and lacking respect] I hope I didn’t appear offhandwithher – it’s just that I was in such a hurry. [showing a rude lack of

interest in others] The boy had an insolent expression on his face which irritated me. [rude and not showing respect

(much stronger than discourteous)] What’s the etiquette at a traditional Chinese wedding? Do you know? I’ve had an invitation to one.

[set of rules or customs for accepted behaviour in particular social groups or social situations] Here, have a seat. Relax – there’s no need to stand on ceremony. [behave in a formal way] My elderly uncle and aunt are both rather straitlaced. [having old-fashioned and fixed morals] Asking for more food at a formal dinner party is just not the done thing. [what you are expected to do in

a social situation] When taking part in online discussions, always follow netiquette and keep your comments brief.

[code of behaviour when using the internet]

Language help

Manners, meaning the way we behave with one another socially, is plural, e.g. We need to employ staff with good manners (NOT good manner). Manner (singular) is a more formal alternative to ‘way (of doing something)’, e.g. He greeted everyone in a friendly manner.

Body language and non-verbal language

Research shows that we communicate more through body language and non-verbal noises than we are aware. Here are some examples of how we indicate emotion through our non-verbal behaviour: verb/expression what it indicates comment

raise your eyebrows

surprise or shock (either showing or causing) either a person or behaviour can raise eyebrows twitch nervousness repeated small movements with part of the body flinch pain or fear sudden small movement squirm embarrassment or nervousness move from side to side in an awkward way smirk self-satisfaction smile (negative associations) beam happiness broad smile (positive associations) sniff at something disapproval breathe air in through your nose in a way that makes a noise

snort

titter

disgust or great amusement make an explosive sound by forcing air quickly up or down your nose nervousness or embarrassment small laugh

62.1

62.2

62.3

62.4

62.5

Complete the sentences with words from A opposite.

1 A light kiss on each cheek is the thing in some cultures when you meet someone you know. 2 Some people don’t seem to follow any kind of when posting messages on social

network sites and often post offensive or bullying material. 3 She was very and hardly looked at me when she replied. 4 Joanna and David always taught their children to have good .

5 We don’t stand on in this house – just help yourself to anything you want from the

fridge. 6 I’m sick of your comments. It’s time you learnt to speak politely to people.

You’re so rude! 7 For a young person, she’s very and old-fashioned in her ideas and behaviour. 8 The school considers it important that students should always address their teachers in a manner. Anyone who behaves in a way will be reported to the Director.

Answer these questions.

1 Jamie was twitching all evening. Do you think he was relaxed? 2 Kate sniffed at every comment I made at the meeting. How did Kate feel about my comments? 3 Jack flinched when I touched his arm. Why do you think he flinched? 4 The teenagers’ behaviour on the bus raised a few of the other passengers’ eyebrows. What must the teenagers’ behaviour have been like? 5 Look at the photo; Meg’s smirking and Tanya’s beaming. Who does the speaker think looks nicer – Meg or Tanya? 6 There was an occasional titter at the comedian’s jokes. Do you think the comedian was pleased at how his jokes were received? 7 Ritva squirmed in her chair when Karl said her photo was in the paper.How do you think Ritva felt? 8 Their children had dreadful table manners. How do you think the children behaved during meals?

What sorts of things did they probably do?

Choose the best word to complete each of these sentences.

1 Brendan sniffed / snorted with laughter all through the play. 2 Whenever I’m tired or nervous, my eyelid starts to twitch / flinch. 3 Don’t keep squirming / smirking in your chair like that – sit still and behave yourself. 4 The students twitched / tittered when the teacher tripped over the wastepaper basket. 5 The dentist stopped drilling as soon as he felt me flinch / snort. 6 She twitched / beamed with happiness all through the wedding ceremony.

Draw lines connecting the words and expressions on the right with the parts of the body mostly involved in the behaviour.

eyes mouth

no specific part of the body nose

Over to you

titter

twitchsmirk snort raise your eyebrows

flinch sniff

squirm

beam

Imagine that someone who is going to live and work in your country asks you about what is considered to be good/bad manners and about codes of etiquette in your culture. What things would you consider important to tell them?