77 Reminiscences and regrets

A

B Looking back: sharing memories

A: It’s great to see you again. Gosh, it’s ten years since we were at school together! Any idea what the school is like these days? B: No, I’ve been a bit out of touch1 with things ever since I moved away from London. A: I wonder what became of2 that maths teacher.

I think his name, if I recall3, was Mr Sanderson.

When I think back4, I realise now how difficult things must have been for him, having to teach the likes of us! And do you ever hear anything of5

James? B: No, I haven’t heard a thing. A: And I often wonder what Sanjay ended up doing.

I’ve lost touch with him too. Thinking back, we had some great times, didn’t we? B: Yeah. Seeing your phone there reminds me of how we used to text under our desks, right under the teacher’s nose. A: Yeah, that takes me back to6 the day my phone rang when a school inspector was observing our class and I got into big trouble. B: Yes, I have a vague memory7 of that. Actually, it’s all coming back to me now8. They confiscated your phone and you stormed out of the classroom! A: Yeah. But I must say that what stands out in my mind9 is the amazing freedom we used to have. B: Me too. When I look back, I realise how much things have changed. A: Yes, I often find myself reminiscing about10 my teenage years and wonder if our children will have the same happy memories when they grow up. B: Yes, we all tend to look at the past through rose-tinted spectacles11, don’t we? But I guess a bit of nostalgia12 does nobody any harm!

1 not knowing what has happened recently 2 where he is and what happened to him 3 if I remember correctly 4 think about the past 5 receive any news about 6 makes me remember 7 not a very clear memory 8 I’m beginning to remember it more clearly 9 what I remember more than other things (you can also say sticks out in my mind) 10 thinking about pleasant things that happened in the past 11 see only the pleasant things about a situation and not notice the things that are unpleasant (you can also say rose-coloured spectacles) 12 a feeling of pleasure and sometimes slight sadness at the same time as you think about things that happened in the past

Common mistakes

Expressing regret

I regret not spending more time with my aunt when she was ill. He showed no sign of remorse for what he had done. She said she felt great shame for what had happened and

apologised to us all. [embarrassment and guilt about something bad that happened] Don’t confuse remind and remember: Seeing the class photo again reminded me of my unhappy schooldays (NOT remembered me).

I felt great pangs of guilt and remorse thinking of all the bad things that had happened and my

part in them. [sudden sharp feelings, especially of painful emotion; collocates frequently with guilt, regret, conscience, remorse] Some formal, rather literary ways of expressing regret:

I rue the day we ever met. [I regret very much that we ever met; collocates strongly with ‘the day’ and ‘the fact that’] I lament the passing of time. [I feel sad that time passes] I mourn my lost opportunities. [I feel sad about opportunities I had but did not take up]

77.1

77.2

77.3

77.4

Fill the gaps with one word.

1 back, I can’t believe how I survived the first day in my old job. It was horrendous. 2 What in my mind when I think of my schooldays was our class trip to

Edinburgh. 3 What 4 Do you ever hear

of that friend of yours who wanted to be a pilot? Did he ever get to be one? your old college friend Martine these days? 5 When I , we had quite a hard life; my parents were poor. 6 When I get together with my old schoolmates, we often about the fun times we had. 7 I’m a bit of with what’s happening with our old hockey team since I stopped playing, but someone said they’re doing quite well these days. 8 I got a sudden feeling of as we drove past our old house. We’d had some happy times there. 9 When I saw the photo, it all back to me just what a wonderful holiday we had had. 10 You’re always looking at the past through rose- spectacles. It wasn’t all wonderful, you know. 11 I have only a very memory of my early childhood in Canada. It was all so long ago! 12 What happened to your sister? If I , she wanted to study chemistry, didn’t she? Did she ever do that?

Look at C opposite. Match the beginning of each sentence with its ending.

1 I felt some pangs a my lost youth. 2 I rue the day b because I’d done nothing wrong. 3 I feel a certain remorse c not contacting her earlier. 4 I regret d I agreed to go into business with him. 5 I mourn e of guilt about what happened. 6 I felt no shame f about what happened. It was my fault.

Write these sentences in more formal language. Use the word in brackets.

1 I’m sorry that I didn’t buy her a birthday present. (regret) 2 They didn’t seem the least bit concerned about what they had done. (remorse) 3 I now greatly regret the fact that I discontinued my studies. (rue) 4 I wish our relationship hadn’t broken down. (lament) 5 The whole village felt sad about the loss of the beautiful trees. (mourn)

Over to you

• What stands out in your mind when you think about your own childhood? • Do you ever think ‘I wonder what became of …?’ When this happens, who or what do you think about? • Is there any aspect or time of your life that you only have vague memories of?